[Drama 2022] Love (ft. Marriage & Divorce) Season 3 결혼작사 이혼작곡

[-jade-]

5 hours ago, TheQueenReturns said:

I have clinically treated many couples that have good marriages where their are still affairs. Psh did not make a mistake. He did it on purpose and it's still doing it. A mistake is something that you regret. He doesn't regret it and he even said he does not want to be blessed cuz he still wants to continue on in that manner.  

 

This sounds ironical to me. Can a marriage still be termed "a good marriage" when there are affairs? And to add insult to injury, "still affairs"? To me (relatively, of course), once a marriage is tainted with an affair, past or ongoing affair, it is no longer a good marriage. Worse if the cheating is serial, i.e. not just once or with just one cheating partner.

 

No doubt a marriage can be salvaged and both parties can work toward sincerity and trust once again, but that is hardly "a good marriage" though a wrecked marriage can become almost good again: IF the cheating stops, IF the healing succeeds, IF the love remains, and IF mutual trust is upheld.

 

About PSH, to us viewers, he did make a mistake. A huge mistake. It was not a one-off mistake because he continues to run with it. He is repeating it, consciously and wholeheartedly repeating it. Even repeating it in a rebellious manner. But to he himself, it was not a mistake, it was and is a choice, a conscious and intentional choice. He had already written his wife off and had already shifted his affection and reliance onto SW and his baby. 

 

5 hours ago, TheQueenReturns said:

There are many men and women crying at home at night because there is infidelity in their wonderfully good marriage

Did you mean "once wonderfully good marriage"?

Again, once there's infidelity, a marriage is no longer good, let alone wonderfully good. Yes, the marriage could have been wonderful, blissful, almost perfect, before the infidelity happened. But once infidelity has tainted the marriage, the "beautiful piece of glass" has already shattered into fragments. Would anyone consider fragments as anything wonderful other than broken? Again, the broken can be fixed and made almost whole with a lot of effort on both sides, if both sides are willing to make the effort.

 

PSH is not willingly making an effort. Worse, he is still cheating and still deceiving his wife and parents. What a common trait among cheaters!

 

But I agree. There are many couples crying at night because of infidelity, and many children and loved ones, too. Not forgetting the trauma and stigma that may or may not be permanent. 

 

 

[Green Chilli]

11 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

Is PSH a saint then? He is human too, so it’s possible that he made a mistake, ie.fall into the temptation of sleeping with another woman... I get the impression that BHR has done absolutely nothing wrong and PSH is the only one with wrongdoings. No, both are in the wrong and both have to evaluate themselves, change as necessary depending on what they decided as a couple and as individuals. 
 

Anyway, I have enough of 30s couple, I actually skipped watch their scenes. I am now more interested in the 40s couple. Waiting for all hell to break loose 
Anyone thought about what if when stepmom did kiss stepson successfully, the ghost will suddenly come to life? Or maybe, the kiss made his soul takes over son’s body? I did. I am mashing the genres now 

PSH sis the coward who did not ask for divorce and went and had affair . pain of partner betraying one is nothing compared to not making food or other small solvable issues.

 

again , no pan is asking PSH to stick around and be in misery but he is meek and manipulator and coward hence sleeping with wife while lining for mistress . 
 

I find no fault with BHR , before he committed affair , if he went and fight with BHT and told her all grievances , I would have been sympathetic with him but no he first slept with someone and now wants out showing that as an excuse .

 

he actually deserve more pain and suffering just like other cheaters . He is his special 

10 hours ago, africandramalover said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheating is a justification for domestic violence?? How so.

no but I think it is on he a good beating ... she took out anger on him . He caused immense pain that she threw up blood , so it is ok for him to shed few drops of blood through nose .

 

 

[Songbae]

42 minutes ago, agenth said:

 

How so? I never said they deserved to be cheated on, but there's always reasons, for example if someone is getting abused and the other then cheats on the abuser. The abuse is the cause for cheating.

 

Why do I look at reasons for cheating? There are also relationships that can grow past cheating, that's why some people go for marriage counselling. If you want to work on a relationship, then it can succeed if both people are on board. 

 

Personally, I probably wouldn't be able to do so, once trust is broken, I wouldn't be able to forgive (and forget). What the 30s PIL are asking: don't persist etc, is well-meaning advice in the sense of, if you want this marriage to work, you can't be petty and regurgitate the cheating. Does that mean she needs to forget the cheating? No, but forgive. Is forgiveness earned? 

 

Why? Because it is not healthy and not going to help your marriage if you keep bringing up RickRoll'D. But in order to grow past cheating / any other mistakes etc, you have to address the issues. And in order to address issues and the problem, you will have to listen also to the cheater, for why they cheat. 

 

So for 30s couple:

Neither actually want to work on their relationship! They haven't addressed anything, they only plan to have a baby! 

 

40s couple: wife was clueless until now, we will see what she does when she finds out. 

 

50s couple: Woman agreed to divorce because the man didn't want to work on marriage, he wanted an exit. She knew she couldn'T do it on her own (saving marriage). 

 

Abuse isn't an excuse for cheating. A person that is being abused should get help instead of cheating. 

I agree there are people that move past cheating but for that to happen the cheater has to be held accountable for their action, feel apologetic and stop cheating. None of this men feel sorry for their actions to them they did the right thing. Everyone reacts to things differently something one person can take another person wouldn't be able to take that. 

Forgiveness should be earned and the 30s husband isn't going to get that if he keeps on behaving like that.

 i do agree that the 30s marriage has been broken and the best thing for the wife is to divorce him and move on. Having a a baby is just going to complicate everything.

[Green Chilli]

8 hours ago, agenth said:

I don't think they said that it's not PSH's fault for making that mistake of cheating.

 

However, if by your words: cheating is not a mistake, what else is it then?  Nobody said PSH didn't do it out of his free will, in fact making a wrong choice is very much the definition of mistake, is it not? Having options, free will is pretty much the prerequisite to making a mistake.

 

For instance, if PSH were drugged and he then cheated on his wife, then it would not be free will, but influenced by something out of his control, thus cheating would not be a mistake on his part - as he did not have free will. 

 

Therefore, in this case, cheating was a mistake of PSH's part. However, BHR is no angel, either, she is human and has flaws. I have pointed out some things that contributed to PSH cheating on BHR. If they had a good marriage, nobody would cheat in the first place and marriage is a partnership, it takes two to tango. Their marriage relationship was by far not perfect, and perfection doesn't really exist, it was not even a good relationship. BHR did do some wrong things, but that doesn't mean she deserves to be cheated on. 

 

Yes I agree marriage is hard work and cheating is escapism. Some people choose the easy way out, and some people don't know how to deal with the troubles they encounter - therefore some people make the mistake of choosing to cheat. 

 

 

this show literally showed that if wife is good bad angel devil or devoted entire life’s to husbands , still husband cheats.

 

good marriage does not stop cheating. They did not have any bad bad marriage , they had few issues which could have discussed and sorted out .

 

5 hours ago, agenth said:

 

I'm not blaming the wives for being cheated on.

 

I'm only pointing out reasons. Unless the husband OR wife is a perennial cheater, there's always an underlying reason for cheating, based on the quality of relationship. 

 

It'd be good for people to be introspective and look at their own relationship - not that everyone is going to cheat who is unhappy, not at all. But it wouldn't hurt to take the time and talk AND listen to your partner, would it? 

again there is no reason for cheating. Cheaters do it because they want to and lack morale .

 

2 hours ago, Ameera Ali said:

 

now her PRIDE AND JOY MEDAL OF COMPETENCY  is  abusing her emotionally   

 

 

 

 

# wow 

he is trying to find her views on marrying young man , if she views it as some competency or trophy 

 

she effectively answered that she does not think it is her competency and she has to wait and see how it pans out in later years .

 

She has her head on her shoulders and does not think him as some

trophy .

 

1 hour ago, agenth said:

 

How so? I never said they deserved to be cheated on, but there's always reasons, for example if someone is getting abused and the other then cheats on the abuser. The abuse is the cause for cheating.

 

Why do I look at reasons for cheating? There are also relationships that can grow past cheating, that's why some people go for marriage counselling. If you want to work on a relationship, then it can succeed if both people are on board. 

 

Personally, I probably wouldn't be able to do so, once trust is broken, I wouldn't be able to forgive (and forget). What the 30s PIL are asking: don't persist etc, is well-meaning advice in the sense of, if you want this marriage to work, you can't be petty and regurgitate the cheating. Does that mean she needs to forget the cheating? No, but forgive. Is forgiveness earned? 

 

Why? Because it is not healthy and not going to help your marriage if you keep bringing up RickRoll'D. But in order to grow past cheating / any other mistakes etc, you have to address the issues. And in order to address issues and the problem, you will have to listen also to the cheater, for why they cheat. 

 

So for 30s couple:

Neither actually want to work on their relationship! They haven't addressed anything, they only plan to have a baby! 

 

40s couple: wife was clueless until now, we will see what she does when she finds out. 

 

50s couple: Woman agreed to divorce because the man didn't want to work on marriage, he wanted an exit. She knew she couldn'T do it on her own (saving marriage). 

 

Whole drama shows it is furious to look for reasons and we have hear never ending eulogies to lawyer and his mistress as if it is a pure and innocent love 

[chickfactor]

I can't agree with this notion that if a spouse has an affair that there must be a "reason," because that's a never-ending blame game.

 

Because something is "wrong" in every relationship ever. Why? Because humans are flawed and no one is perfect.

 

Why did 50s husband cheat on 50s wife and cruelly dump her? According to him, she literally worked her fingers to the bone and has to wear medicine plaster on her hands and he hates the smell. And because she treats him so well, he feels inadequate and guilty as a result, and that's somehow her fault, too.

 

So she should be blamed for being too good of a wife? Or for daring to age and no longer look like a dewy-fresh young lady?

 

I suppose he is allowed to have his opinions and do whatever he wants with his life. Anyone has that right.

 

But at the end of the day, he betrayed the family who loved and trusted him. That was a choice he made. So he should be honest with himself about it, instead of packaging it in some metaphor about trees and demand that his kids continue to respect him.

[hsmz]

Either you want to believe it or not, IRL there a lot of woman abusing their husband too, mentally and physically. There are a lot of reason why & there will be a buckets to start the list with. Just look at 30s couple. Why did the writer-nim made them a bit different compares to the other 2 couples?

 

She's a year older from her husband, her husband who the one who begged her to marry him, agreed to her terms that she didn't want to be housewife and stay childless. From her style, the writer-nim portrayed her is a poster career woman, very firm, independent & modern, always knows what she wants, loves to talk back & not-so-very soft spoken lady like and not somekind of doormat.

 

30s husband on the other hand, a maknae that loves to be spoil and babied by his loved ones. The writer-nim made him a lawyer that knows how to questions and demands answers from people in court but with his wife, he seems can't win in every arguments. True, he accepted his wife for who she is before the marriage but along the way in the marriage, he demands more. He wants his wife to be like his mother, who always stays beside his father, spending time together, having a husband-wife relationships like other couples with kids and full of laugh and happiness. But of course he can't get it as his wife is like what writer-nim portrayed her style (see previous paragraph)

 

And within 2 years plus of their marriage, as per 30s husband lines in the drama along with his parent's lines, it was said always feel hurt with the way his wife treated him. Of course you will say, he's at the fault because he was the one who demands more and he shouldn't be. But that's human. We always thirst and demand for more. That's when the word communicate and compromise come up. But still no compromise and good communications we can see from them.

 

The 30s husband then met his "life-counselor" turned mistress during his gym session. From gym buddies they became close and closer as they always meet outside and then the 30s husband started to like her as she seems the woman of his dream. Emotionally cheating, yes this is true! No denial about it. But at the same time, he always follows her advices to put up with his wife, don't ever think about divorce and blablabla.. But that's only make the 30s husband like her more and he believes he has falls in love with her. Before they spend the night, he determined to get a divorce but still she stopped him and that's when the adultery started. He then went home with decision to get divorce but then, the wife's father got sick and before he get another chance to file another divorce, he learns that he mistress is pregnant. 

 

And now, everything was a mess after the wife and his parents found out about the affair and the pregnancy too. His wife, from "I agree to divorce" to "No, I won't divorce you." We didn't see him beg for her forgiveness right, it is because he didn't  plan to continue the marriage at the first place and all he wants is a divorce. And because of she won't divorce him, this led to his promise to end the affair after her got sick with ulcer (he have no other choice) and her promise to her PIL to have a baby as they seems confident that the baby will be savior for their marriage. (is it?) But that's solely they did now, they're only try to get the baby, there are no scene we see them trying to have a good communication to make the marriage work.

 

Once a while he kept thinking about her because she's carrying his baby too. It's just a sense of responsibility and bit of his feelings left behind. But still he kept his promise not to meet her again. That's the first step he did to save his marriage too right? But now we seeing a scene she said to herself she wanted to at least cheat him too for her to forgive him and move on. I hope she will not do that even we have seen she had a dinner with Seo Dong Ma.

 

As the timeline in drama keep going forward, next episode teaser we will shall see he saw the baby is growing inside the mother's womb, and they went dinner together 4 of them till the wife barged in the room at the restaurant. So meaning, 30s husband didn't see his mistress in few months after the broke up scene where's he gave ring to her. 

 

He was wrong to cheat on his wife. Definitely wrong. He should stands to get divorce before this situation getting any worse as he said he didn't happy with this marriage. Now, he's not only hurting his wife, he's hurting himself and his parents and his mistress too. People whose hurt usually end up will hurting other people too. 

 

I just want to see the happy ending for this couple. If they both having a baby, they both needs to communicate and make the marriage work for the baby. By raising a baby in the house with no love, no happiness, it will bring more damage to the baby. If the divorce is the best way for both of them, just go separate ways as both of them still young and have a long journey to go.

 

p/s : this is a drama after all

[africandramalover]

5 hours ago, Green Chilli said:

He caused immense pain that she threw up blood , so it is ok for him to shed few drops of blood through nose .

 

 she throws up bloody puke because he caused immense pain, so she is justified to beat him up, till he bleeds (just a few drops).

 

Cause immense pain = I can beat up my cheating spouse.

 

Right. Got it.

 

 

7 hours ago, Songbae said:

He abused her first. I hope you realise that cheating is emotional abuse.

 

He emotionally abused her FIRST, so she can beat up her spouse. 

 

Right. Got it.

 

Nevermind that she has a list of transgressions against him before the cheating.

[ktcjdrama]

50 minutes ago, africandramalover said:

 she throws up bloody puke because he caused immense pain, so she is justified to beat him up, till he bleeds (just a few drops).

Actually, according to the drama as what I remember, he bleeds a few drops first, then she throws up.... I also don’t see how beating is justified.

[Green Chilli]

2 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

Actually, according to the drama as what I remember, he bleeds a few drops first, then she throws up.... I also don’t see how beating is justified.

First or second , he betrayed her , he deserves  much more than than the beating he got .

 

infidelity   is abuse towards the cheated spouse 

 

 

[TheQueenReturns]

I must say that this thread is really giving me

 

[tofumochu]

I'm just dropping by this thread and it's like shirts hit the ceiling...

Kinda glad that I didn't continue this one.

 

 

[hsmz]

10 hours ago, agenth said:

So for 30s couple:

Neither actually want to work on their relationship! They haven't addressed anything, they only plan to have a baby! 

 

40s couple: wife was clueless until now, we will see what she does when she finds out. 

 

50s couple: Woman agreed to divorce because the man didn't want to work on marriage, he wanted an exit. She knew she couldn'T do it on her own (saving marriage). 

True, 30s couple - instead of working on the marriage, they only focus to make baby and the wife wanna take a revenge? Hope not. They are no progress to make the marriage work at the moment. So messy this couple!

40s - I can imagine how hurt she is later in the drama

50s - so obvious the husband wants to walk away from the family. She tried to save the marriage before he admitted the he cheats on her. Remember Hyang Gi's scene during first season? After her crying, they seems OK but then he came clean about his cheating after U-ram's and friends sleepover. She was so so so hurt but she's the rational person. She let him go but she will never pray for his happiness.

[At the dawn]

Just noticed about the scene in this music video still not yet aired in the drama. Ami feel sad after she need to break up with Dr Shin. She was sent to the hospital. I think Pi Young already found out their relationship. Hope she will find out in the next two episodes soon. Besides, I can see Sahyun was hit terribly by his wife in front of his father and mother. What a shame. 

Spoiler

Spoiler 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lfd]

7 hours ago, At the dawn said:

Just noticed about the scene in this music video still not yet aired in the drama. Ami feel sad after she need to break up with Dr Shin. She was sent to the hospital. I think Pi Young already found out their relationship. Hope she will find out in the next two episodes soon. Besides, I can see Sahyun was hit terribly by his wife in front of his father and mother. What a shame. 

Lol I’m sure a little weakling woman with a bleeding ulcer is really beating up the man child she needed an iron skillet now that would be a beating. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by ferily
Please don’t quote videos. Thanks!

[Songbae]

13 hours ago, africandramalover said:

 

Nevermind that she has a list of transgressions against him before the cheating.

What list of transgressions?

So not cooking and cleaning are transgressions?

Her not telling him where she is going is a transgression?

[africandramalover]

1 hour ago, Songbae said:

What list of transgressions?

So not cooking and cleaning are transgressions?

Her not telling him where she is going is a transgression?

 

Acres of posts have been written here showing BHRs "faults", but in a classic case of myside bias, you insist on doubling down on your OP that beating your spouse is justified.

 

There is no reason, fault or flaw on earth that justifies raising your hand to your spouse. NONE WHATSOEVER. 

 

Spoiler

 

 

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/02/27/why-facts-dont-change-our-minds

 

In the post above yours is a scene showing BHR hitting the husband IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS. That is ultimate disrespect to her spouse and his parents to treat their child like that.

 

2 hours ago, Lfd said:

Lol I’m sure a little weakling woman with a bleeding ulcer is really beating up the man child she needed an iron skillet now that would be a beating. 

 

I'm sorry, what!!

 

.

 

I'm beyond horrified that we live in a world where spousal abuse is justifiable. 

 

This is the last of me and this matter.

 

[Songbae]

24 minutes ago, africandramalover said:

 

Acres of posts have been written here showing BHRs "faults", but in a classic case of myside bias, you insist on doubling down on your OP that beating your spouse is justified.

Those "faults" aren't transgressions. 

Same way you are justifying her husband cheating on her

[confusedheart]

Dear Chingus,

 

It's that time of the week again! Yes, you guessed it right! Poll Time!

 

The new poll is up. Please vote!

Please don't hesitate to tag me or PM me in case you have ideas for future polls.

 

@joccu @Ameera Ali @brooksmom @hsmz @lebeaucouple @Gudetamama @Samuel Yohanes @africandramalover @Green Chilli @backstreetboysfan @airgelaal  @chickfactor @CarolynH @jayakris @TheQueenReturns@samzi85  @Songbae@At the dawn   @Lfd  @qynn @wildcherry@Jcanqueen12 @admonike@dzareth@deandraluv @tofumochu @ktcjdrama @NAB46 @D27Gjk68@-JC- @Najoua Soussi

 

 

 

re:  @partyon @Lmangla @Sleepy Owl @agenth @confusedheart326

[airgelaal]

1 hour ago, africandramalover said:

I'm beyond horrified that we live in a world where spousal abuse is justifiable. 

 

Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence", can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. 

 

Pattern is a very important word. One hit is not an abuse. You can't use this word whatever you want.

[hyall]

One hit is not abuse may be but no person has the right to raise their hand against another. That is battery and it is wrong in every way. No husband or wife should ever beat the other. No justification for that.

 

BHR's behaviour is disgusting. I have seen first hand what spousal abuse is like. Shouting and beatings become common enough that it becomes a habit. Say no to it.