[Drama 2020] Dinner Mate/Shall We Eat Dinner Together?, 저녁 같이 드실래요?

[celebrianna]

26 minutes ago, ck1Oz said:

And to have a scene where HK is grabbing JH aka helpless victim persona- in a full  room is a massive no- no as a fan. No you do not advance a drama plot like this.

 

This is the part that most surprised me today. I don’t know what JH said but HK’s actions were outrageous. To lose sight of everything else even alarming his patients outside will undoubtedly land him in hot water professionally. The medical reporter was still there and witnessed everything. I’m patiently waiting to see what instigated such behavior but I think JH achieved his objective in going there. I can’t believe HK fell right into the trap.

[thistle]

1 hour ago, ck1Oz said:

I just can't watch a disaster in both story telling sense and professionally I just want back slowly away. Jae Hyuk's close personal circle are absolutely no help or support and instead are actively getting him to self destruct. Hasn't anyone conttoned on yet that he is delusional, lack insight and basically needs acute intervention or hospitalization?

 

Neither can I. 

 

Much of this drama has been good (apart from the fact that I semi-dislike the FL--not the actress but the role) so I'm genuinely alarmed to see Dinner Mate travelling down a wrong road.  I don't want to be an anti with this drama because I like the romances between DH and HK, and especially between AY and Keanu.....but I certainly can't help being anti with this particular episode.  Things have gone badly awry.  I hope that it can be got back on track.

 

JH is dangerous and needs help.  The facts that DH enabled him and that HK basically attacked him are serious issues.

 

 

[catch22]

Technically HK's actions are true to how his character's feelings for DH have developed; remember, his love for NE was a much more passive and tame version than his love for DH...he loved NE but I'm not convinced it was as deep as DH. The problem is that JH knows HK can't be as objective and cool-headed when it comes to DH. We've seen that HK has been struggling to control his feelings about JH's presence in DH's life. He's so scared to ask DH questions about that night JH intruded her apartment that it's the big elephant in the room they both won't talk about. I think him rubbing in that DH asked him to seek counselling and forcing his presence on both DH and now HK is what set off HK because there's already a lie casting a shadow over their relationship and this just plays into his fears/jealousy that not only is JH crazy, he has some sort of emotional hold on her. I think DH won't fall for JH's crazy victim act and is gonna be a noble idiot and try to do damage control by breaking up with HK. Her expression looks like a combo of shock/fear for/guilt/embarrassment towards HK and she's now gonna try and make sure he doesn't get hurt beyond just professionally, which as we know, will only lead HK to dig up the reason behind her actions and protect her from JH. I truly truly wish DH hadn't lied to HK because that lie has now manifested into a tangled web of problems. This could've all been prevented but for the sake of plot angst, the writers are having the characters make dumb mistakes and forcing us to deal with this annoying arc. 

[Nodame]

I finally watched the latest episode already knowing I wouldn’t like it. Jeez what a dang rollercoaster of emotions from the drama high with progress for our OTP  to this mess today.

 

@catch22 @celebrianna @thistle @ck1Oz @airgelaal @Kvothe

 

You all mentioned a lot of great points that I agree that makes me disappointed in DH in allowing JH on his downward spiral by not being truthful with HK. Instead a huge mess is coming next week indeed from all of these events this week. 
 

@kvong_1 What you wrote about GunWoo resonated with me. It was alluded by others but what is the point of him? The person under the guise of good intentions causing issues and problems to his friends by calling their ex for help. Who does that ????

 

DH not telling HK about JH in her apartment plus saying she will cover it up was scary. As pointed out she is doing it for herself, still her lack of confidence from her exes doesn’t help her fledgling relationship with HK.

HK in turn tells her all and made sure to dispel any future misunderstandings. So my heart hurts for him. He is taking her advice to not believe the ending will be the same so better to avoid a relationship. He has his abandonment issues with mom. Last thing he needs is DH to do that too! She balances him but her lack of consideration for him rots. The fact HK warned her of JH, she should he definitely told HK about it. I cannot blame him returning knowing her answer was off to him and she was ok.  He decided to trust her as he asked she do for him. Sigh.

 

Seeing the Pretty Woman homage was fun. I liked Keanu told AY ways to contact him. I am glad he is losing his hatred but wanting closure finally.

 

Glad DH felt bad hearing about her meddling with JH by cooking for him. The fact she felt bad not knowing DH hardship I was glad she moved forward with divorce with DH dad. I liked how she listened to DH to get counseling. Though in the end she went to HK clinic. Only in a drama , is his the only one?! 

oh the timing of reporters posing as fake patients . But also the mom jumping to invalid and preconceived prejudices against HK. Oh the irony of the situation.

 

JH breaking in , mentally breaking down saying he was shattered seeing nothing of them in her place . Dude if you were not obsessed, she told you to back off and go away she is over you.Then causing damage to her place and making her feel unsafe . Very uncool. Then getting happy hearing from GW he should get help from the hospital per DH wishes. Grasping on straws much JH?! Uggh. Her concern is better and leave ASAP . But he has lost it. 
 

Even hearing his back story didn’t make me more sympathetic to him. Privileged rich kid falls in love with a normal woman and then later missed his luxe life. And why GW insists needing to tell DH? I liked she told GW to stop and need to apologize to her.

 

HK mom happy HK called her mom, I liked she promised to befriend DH after the surgery. Comforting to hear she wants to accept DH and I am sure good riddance of NE.

 

NE needing attention no matter good or bad , I am glad DH warned her next time she will take action.

 

Need more Keanu and AY, I agree with the thoughts they hold the key with the Keanu, JH situation.

 

 

[celebrianna]

1 hour ago, catch22 said:

Technically HK's actions are true to how his character's feelings for DH have developed; remember, his love for NE was a much more passive and tame version than his love for DH...he loved NE but I'm not convinced it was as deep as DH. The problem is that JH knows HK can't be as objective and cool-headed when it comes to DH. We've seen that HK has been struggling to control his feelings about JH's presence in DH's life. He's so scared to ask DH questions about that night JH intruded her apartment that it's the big elephant in the room they both won't talk about. I think him rubbing in that DH asked him to seek counselling and forcing his presence on both DH and now HK is what set off HK because there's already a lie casting a shadow over their relationship and this just plays into his fears/jealousy that not only is JH crazy, he has some sort of emotional hold on her. I think DH won't fall for JH's crazy victim act and is gonna be a noble idiot and try to do damage control by breaking up with HK. Her expression looks like a combo of shock/fear for/guilt/embarrassment towards HK and she's now gonna try and make sure he doesn't get hurt beyond just professionally, which as we know, will only lead HK to dig up the reason behind her actions and protect her from JH. I truly truly wish DH hadn't lied to HK because that lie has now manifested into a tangled web of problems. This could've all been prevented but for the sake of plot angst, the writers are having the characters make dumb mistakes and forcing us to deal with this annoying arc. 

It might indeed be the writer’s intention to show that HK is more expressive of his feelings with DH, but I really do not enjoy the way the writer has HK abandon all reason especially in a professional setting that involves his own expertise. To me it does a great disservice to HK as a doctor in this area. He seems to have recognized that JH is mentally unstable so why give in to JH’s delusions or taunts? He could have just ended the session and refer JH to another doctor. I also don’t get why HK could not transfer the case as JH said. The fact that HK knows JH on a personal level should be more than enough reason to disengage himself from JH’s therapy.

 

Regarding DH, she also put her show at risk. The project will probably be on hold now that HK is caught in a professional scandal. That’s probably why in the preview AY looks upset with HK who seem to be apologizing. DH probably will blame herself and I can’t say I’ll be sorry for her. She made a huge mistake in covering for JH and now everything just blew up. Right now everything really is a mess.

[thistle]

54 minutes ago, Nodame said:

.....GunWoo.....It was alluded by others but what is the point of him? The person under the guise of good intentions causing issues and problems to his friends by calling their ex for help. Who dies that ????.....

 

I have a theory But it is possibly noxious to have to say, so my apologies in advance to anyone who might find this offensive.  My suspicion is that GW is a gay token character.  GW has said that he was not accepted by his family because of this, so we know that this is his orientation.

 

The writer needed a character to serve as a connection between the major players in the story.  This character wouldn't really serve much other purpose; he would not be romantically linked with anyone; and he would appear only sometimes--so why not make him gay?  This would also serve as a nod to show some "open-mindedness" on the part of the drama.  His small role would ensure that the show wouldn't have to do anything "shocking" with him, so he would be "safe" and could interact easily with both male and female characters.

 

It's a way to put a foot in the door with a presumably controversial choice so that it is neither endorsed nor condemned but only acknowledged.  I've seen it done before in the past on various shows from various lands for various reasons.  It is not necessarily a bad thing for a show to do but some might think that it is not fair to fail to take the character far enough into reality.

 

54 minutes ago, Nodame said:

.....Need more Keanu and AY, I agree with the thoughts they hold the key with the Keanu, JH situation.....

 

Lots more.  Lots and lots and lots more. 

 

 

44 minutes ago, celebrianna said:

.....It might indeed be the writer’s intention to show that HK is more expressive of his feelings with DH, but I really do not enjoy the way the writer has HK abandon all reason especially in a professional setting that involves his own expertise.....

 

One of the nicest things about HK has been his mature and calm reaction to a variety of matters.  He can be stony stubborn on some things (like his bad relationship with his mother) but he doesn't lose control.  Even when DH has rejected him (multiple times) and has behaved stupidly (multiple times), he has only blown his top once that I recall (first or second episode when he was driving his car to have a show down with DH but he still managed to get himself under control before he went off the rails). 

 

HK's reaction toward JH completely falls afoul of anything we could have come to expect from him.  Worse, it is indeed a violation of his professional ethics, and that is something he would not forgive in himself.  It will be interesting to see how HK reactions to his transgression.  Since the writer has introduced this steaming pile of nonsense, I hope that it will at least be allowed to play out and be resolved properly.

[nyzah13]

I just saw another BTS of the kissing scene and it seemed like there's a reason why NE is still into HK, she saw them kissing!
The BTS of the kiss scene was of another angle too!!.. I hate episode 12 that's why I want myself to be stuck at episode 11..
Can't get over the shift of the last two episodes.. 

[fluffyloaf]

Agree with a lot of the comments. I think the latest episode is forceful in the sense where the writer is taking the storyline to wherever as he/she wishes without consideration of the logic and established persona of its characters. Are the ratings for this show really bad that they needed to drive the storyline down the drain in hopes of getting attention? I was already tired of the antics of the exes midway watching this show but now it seems to leave me with lesser reasons to watch.

 

I think what really baffled me was at DH's home when she hid the fact that JH broke in from HK. I don't think any logical female would have done that even if the person who broke in was their ex. Having seen JH in such a state, instead of sympathy, most women might fear for their safety instead. Why would she stay behind on her own with a crazy man like that? Yes he might have a pitiful past (which tbh, I don't think she was really aware of it since it seemed like she just found out about the fact that he came from a rich family a few episodes before this?) but I think women generally have a higher sense of danger and even if we were to sympathise with someone, we would definitely want to make sure that our safety isn't compromised. And even if I were to ignore that fact, it did not make sense to me as to why she would want to hide this fact from HK. It's not like HK's track record had been to beat JH up every time he acted out. In fact it was the opposite. He had show calm, rationale and mature responses. So I don't see a reason why she needed to hide that fact at all. What was she afraid of? Tarnishing JH's "image"? Was she afraid to further complicate the relationship between the four of them? Did she not want to worry HK? Or was it bad judgement from the shock?

 

I also found it odd that HK did not probe further from DH regarding what had happened on that night although HK visibly knows that something is off with DH. Returning to her home and bringing her for spicy food was obviously out of his awareness of it so it felt unusual that he did not probe further. DH also appear very distant from HK by refraining herself from talking about JH and her parents with HK.

 

In fact, I don't understand why DH does not even tell GW about the nonsense JH is doing? I think that would easily stop GW from trying to pester her with every little detail about JH. She should at least tell AY considering that she confides in AY all these while. Or why does she not tell her mom that she is already dating HK and there's no need for her mom to keep holding onto JH if she knew DH had officially moved on? DH is making things more complicated by not verbalising the main issue here and keeping everyone else in the dark about JH being mentally unstable.

 

It's also getting weird with Keanu's storyline when HK called someone to check on what happened in the past. It seems like Keanu did not actually need to quit and his licence had not exactly been revoked? It also seemed like his wife did not run away but was sent away by him? Are they even divorced for him to be going around with AY's heart like that? Agitates me because I don't see a valid reason for Keanu to walk out of his profession and family like that aside from foreseeing a forcefully exaggerated and dramatised situation ahead. Seems like Keanu might be more entangled in his relationship with JH and I seriously don't like the prospect of that. My only hope for Keanu is that he is aware that JH will not let him off the hook unless he accepts defeat like that. And that in his defeat, he is actually secretly working up evidences to clear his name as well as to protect HK (which is still rather forceful for someone to have left their life to become homeless for years).

 

The ending is also just a mess. As we had seen in past episodes, the clinic seems to function quite strictly with their booking and clients are not allowed to just walk in unless they are making a booking for appointment on the next day. It's funny that HK allowed JH to walk in and immediately get an appointment while so many patients were waiting in the usually quiet clinic. And if HK knew JH is there for an appointment, he should have declined without even hearing him out first, knowing their complex relationship. I don't see JH's reasoning of doctors not supposed to decline patients as a solid reasoning because I believe doctors should have some guidelines from them accepting clients whom they believe they cannot offer objective and impartial counseling for right? However for HK to behave like that, I find it to be possible as JH is really manipulative in his tactics. So I am sure he might even lie about things just to trigger that reaction in HK. He has been working up to push HK's buttons so this is just the final push to tip him off in front of the journalist and give HK a bad name. Despite making a bit of sense, it is still very forceful once again.

 

 

[airgelaal]

3 hours ago, celebrianna said:

Regarding DH, she also put her show at risk. The project will probably be on hold now that HK is caught in a professional scandal. That’s probably why in the preview AY looks upset with HK who seem to be apologizing. DH probably will blame herself and I can’t say I’ll be sorry for her. She made a huge mistake in covering for JH and now everything just blew up. Right now everything really is a mess.

 I like AY very much as a character, but she almost forced DH to work with JH. It was her big mistake as a boss to allow such a mess situation.

[schummy_lover]

i dont like last night episode..wanna slap JH soooo much.. 

and in my opinion, DH is not ready to be in a romantic relationship..no longer accept my previous righteous feeling about her helping JH as a human...hahahhha 

My favorite is when DH omma visits HK...HK thinks the consultation is like a break for him, since he laughs with her comments.

[cantbreathe]

7 hours ago, Nodame said:

HK mom happy HK called her mom, I liked she promised to befriend DH after the surgery. Comforting to hear she wants to accept DH and I am sure good riddance of NE.

HK’s mum was a good storyline. I enjoyed the backstory scenes as they really explained why HK acts like he does. The writers did well to show the hurt she caused him. As a whole, the storyline was natural and not forced.
 

I enjoyed HK and mum scenes together and HK mum’s behaviour, while pushy, was not overbearing. But I felt this storyline had been pushed to the background in favour of forced scenes with the scheming exes. I think HK’s mum‘s storyline will come back, but it’s a bit late. They should have focussed on this as HK’s backstory, rather than unnecessary NE scenes (sitting on a PLP massage chair or having rubbish confrontations).

To be fair to JH, his scenes are important, and it makes sense why he acts like that if he has a mental illness. NE is the inexplicable one, she literally just hounds the couple all the time (shouldn’t she focus on her business?), her character is 2 dimensional. To HK, she’s an ex he’s done with. Nothing unresolved, so why the writers have pushed her storyline is annoying unknown.

 

In a similar vein they could have spent more time on DH’s family background. Her family background is just explained in a few dotted about scenes, and we’re meant to fill it in ourselves how it affects her. 

Now it seems her mum is just being pulled out to fulfill the predictable and overdone parental obstacle to the main relationship. Why is an extra obstacle even necessary??? 

 

7 hours ago, Nodame said:

HK in turn tells her all and made sure to dispel any future misunderstandings. So my heart hurts for him. He is taking her advice to not believe the ending will be the same so better to avoid a relationship. He has his abandonment issues with mom. Last thing he needs is DH to do that too!

This is what is really bothering me. I’m so disappointed with DH to the point I feel like she’s not good enough for HK now. She has betrayed him, and not for any reason like saving his life (proper noble idiocy), she has just done it out of a lack of consideration and it shows such disrespect for their relationship and him that it makes me mad. The writers have really misjudged this, I hope knetizens are pointing this out. DH needs to do nothing short of a miracle if she’s going to turn this around for me. 
 

[airgelaal]

5 hours ago, nyzah13 said:

I just saw another BTS of the kissing scene and it seemed like there's a reason why NE is still into HK, she saw them kissing!
The BTS of the kiss scene was of another angle too!!.. I hate episode 12 that's why I want myself to be stuck at episode 11..
Can't get over the shift of the last two episodes.. 

 

I saw that BTS too, but I cant understand NE anyway. She saw the kiss, so it should be the reason to stop, but not act.

[huckleberrymoonriver]

Like all of us Dinner Mate fans, I'm also disappointed with episode 12(23-24). As I was watching it the first time, I can't believe that the story had gone incredibly bad and that our main ML and FL's characters are downgraded or made to look bad by their reactions/behavior toward all the things that transpired in that most poorly written episode. I pity that our OTP characters have to go through that. I just hope in the 4 remaining episodes that the scriptwriter will give us a decent story build up and that our main OTP's characters will be redeemed. Another thought is that I was sad about Dohee's thoughts on her life and past relationship. She seems really down and ashamed to face Haekyong. But seeing him makes her happy in spite of all the bad things in her life. I hope Dohee won't give up life with Haekyong! Fighting for our OTP! 

 

Sharing my tweet from my twitter account.

 

 

 

[thistle]

6 hours ago, fluffyloaf said:

.....but I think women generally have a higher sense of danger and even if we were to sympathise with someone, we would definitely want to make sure that our safety isn't compromised. And even if I were to ignore that fact, it did not make sense to me as to why she would want to hide this fact from HK.....

 

 

You have made a hugely important point here.  This was something I truly could not understand. 

 

As a woman, I am very wary and very cautious about personal safety.  If I discovered that my home had been vandalized, I would be out of the door immediately, calling out for help from my neighbors, and dialing police emergency.  Even if it turned out that the vandal was someone I knew well, I would not remain alone with that person.  

 

The fact that DH lied to HK is unfathomable.  They are supposed to be in a relationship.  She should trust him.  Why doesn't she?  For HK to know that she cannot trust him to protect her as a woman and that she values her ex above telling HK that she needs his help are relationship dealbreakers.  

 

6 hours ago, fluffyloaf said:

In fact, I don't understand why DH does not even tell GW about the nonsense JH is doing? I think that would easily stop GW from trying to pester her with every little detail about JH. She should at least tell AY considering that she confides in AY all these while. Or why does she not tell her mom that she is already dating HK and there's no need for her mom to keep holding onto JH if she knew DH had officially moved on? DH is making things more complicated by not verbalising the main issue here and keeping everyone else in the dark about JH being mentally unstable.

 

Exactly!  What is she trying to prove by making this worse by keeping secrets?  I really cannot understand her actions or her motivations.

 

I have been questioning DH's rationale from the beginning.  I have often not liked her.  But I have loved the romance growing between her and HK.  Even when other things didn't make sense, I could move past it.  This foolhardy behavior by DH--lying to HK and failing to share information with others--just makes no sense whatsoever.  

 

Even though I have serious reservations about where the story is headed, I really hope that all of the messes can be resolved.  There are still four episodes left.  There is still time.  Writer, don't let us down!

 

 

[ktcjdrama]

I share the same feelings as all of you about the latest two episodes ~ DH handling of the break in and everything else. I have disliked the super clingy entitled exes since the beginning and now the story seems to focus more on them. They seem to be the main driver of the story, no longer the OTP’s interactions and growth of their relationship. So very disappointed with this week’s episodes. This drama had a great start and I actually binge-watched the first few episodes till I was caught up because I couldn’t stop watching. But now it seems to be a train-wreck ahead. I sincerely hope the writer can turn it around quickly. I really don’t want to be giving up on this drama but frankly, I am driven very close to doing so. 

[thistle]

1 hour ago, thistle said:

As a woman, I am very wary and very cautious about personal safety.  If I discovered that my home had been vandalized, I would be out of the door immediately, calling out for help from my neighbors, and dialing police emergency. 

 

 

Yes, I am quoting myself.  Weird, I know.  However, as it seems that many of us here are female, I wanted to say something about personal safety because it's something that we should take seriously; it's a matter of taking responsibility for our own well-being.  It really, really, really bothers me that DH was so incredibly stupid about her apartment break-in.  We cannot take her as an example of what to do.

 

Since this is essentially Off Topic, I will spoiler tag.  

 

Spoiler

 

So, some small things to think about:

 

1.  If you think your apartment has been compromised, do Not enter.  Distance is a safety net.  Get away.  Knock on a neighbor's door.  Go to a location where there are more people.  Shout for help.  Call the police.  Do something but do NOT go inside.  Nothing that you own is worth your life or your personal safety.

 

2.  This is relevant if you have a car.  If you feel that your safety is jeopardized and if you are near your vehicle, hit the panic button on your key fob.  Even if you are in your home, you may be near enough to the car for the panic button to work.  When we are fearful, we may not think clearly so plan ahead on this:  envision yourself hitting the panic button so that the action is natural when it becomes necessary.  Oftentimes, loud noises like this can scare away an attacker--they don't want to be caught doing wrong.  Think about that panic button.  Prepare your mind.

 

3.  Also, on the matter of keys:  keep your keys close by you; put them on your bedside table at night.  Keys can be a defensive weapon in necessary.  Yes, I know you don't want to think about stabbing someone with your keys but if you need to be safe, you can do it.  Again, envision it in advance.  Your mind will help prepare your body to react.

 

4.  When you are out, do NOT put your keys in your purse.  Why?  Well, if someone takes your purse, they will not only have information about where you live but you will have also given them access with your keys.  If you lose your purse with your keys in it, do Not go home.  Call the police and a locksmith first.  Even if it is a big expense, change the locks--your safety is primary.

 

5.  Put ICE on your cell phone.  Possibly you have already done this but if you haven't do it today; do it right now before you forget.  ICE=In Case of Emergency.  This is the person you want to have contacted if you are in trouble.  If you are unconscious, the police or emergency workers will check your phone to see who should act as your guardian--they may have to sort through many contacts.  Help them out by putting the word ICE in front of your emergency contact's name.  It can save precious time in a crisis.

 

6.  Above all, think about the bad stuff that can happen before it does.  Imagine "what if" so that you can avoid trouble and also so that you will be prepared for a time when you may need to act immediately.  

 

 

 

I could go on but I'll leave this information as it is.  Don't be like DH.  Be sensible.  Take responsibility for your safety.

[akhenaten]

Hello everyone.   I'm sure everyone is still trying to process and recover from the roller-coaster ride that was the last 2 episodes of this week. Episode 11 brought us on an emotional high while Episode 12 brought us crashing down in confusion.  

 

I've honestly haven't read the posts here on episode 12 as I've been trying to process everything that happened in episode 12 myself, particularly the bizarre behavior that Do-hee showed when Jae-hyuk trespassed into her apartment.  I was irritated at her initially but then, after having seen the whole episode, and then taking into account the previous episodes, I'm positing my own theory about why she acted the way she did.  I think, more than the extended stubbornness of the exes, this is the one that angered viewers the most about the recent developments in the plot.

 

Some are thinking it's a sign that she's wavering towards Jae-hyuk and still harboring some lingering feelings of tenderness towards him.  I think to a certain extent that's true, but I'm of the opinion that the feelings aren't necessarily of a romantic type.  I believe that, like any good person, Do-hee is concerned about him.  Of course, as Hae-kyung said, their past cannot be discounted.  Hence, since she loved Jae-huuk deeply once and she's a naturally compassionate person, she would still exhibit some level of concern for him.  I also think she feels some level of guilt that he's become this way because of her.  However,  I don't think it necessarily means that she's still in love with him or wants to go back to him.  There is also that very telling statement that she said to Jae-hyuk when she told him that she was letting him off the hook for his trespassing, not for his sake but for hers.  And also when she said to her mom that she's afraid of what will happen if "he" would find out.  I think in both statements, she was actually referring to Hae-kyung.  I think Do-hee already knows the kind of person Hae-kyung is, despite the short amount of time they've known each other.  He's a mild-mannered and infinitely patient man, someone who's slow to get angry.  However, I think she also knows instinctively that he's also the kind of man who has an explosive temper when he really gets angry.  I think she's afraid of what Hae-kyung can be capable of doing to Jae-hyuk if he finds out that the latter broke into her apartment and scared her that way, so she lied to him.  In our rational state, we know it's the wrong reaction, but at this point, I don't think Do-hee is thinking rationally, and therein lies my second point.

 

I think there is a very good reason why Hae-kyung, our main male character, is a psychiatrist.  Do-hee, despite her bravado and seeming spunk, is actually an emotionally scarred person and  her trauma runs deep.  We all know that she's an only child and that she's grown up knowing how her father is cheating on her mother, and her mother bearing everything like some sort of martyr.  That's why in the first episode, she vowed that she will never allow that to happen to her.  Yet despite what she's told herself, she still ended up with two failed relationships, and both of them were long-term.  In both cases, we noticed how Do-hee always seemed to give in to her partner, to subsume her own personality, thinking it would keep the peace and make her partner happy, not realizing that, in the process, she was destroying herself.  Hae-kyung is the first relationship she has wherein she is actually respected as a person, seen as an individual with her own mind, and appreciated for her strengths and weaknesses.  Hae-kyung actually loves her for herself and not for what she can give him.  Yet deep inside her, Do-hee is still very much afraid that her bubble will burst and that everything will fall apart again, and unfortunately, she subconsciously thinks it's going to be her fault.  That's probably why she feels shame about her previous relationships.  She's projecting her trauma as a child with her father towards her romantic partners.  She's afraid to love again because in all the times she's loved a man - from her father to her two previous boyfriends - they hurt her deeply.  It's a very telling thing that, despite the fact that she admitted having "crossed the line" long ago with her feelings for Hae-kyung, she's yet to tell him that she loves him.  She's afraid because to say that would mean to make herself vulnerable again and though she knows Hae-kyung loves her very much, she's not yet ready to trust him completely.  

 

I read somewhere, or I think a counselor told me, that childhood traumas often manifest themselves in situations that trigger them somehow.  The person who has them is actually normal and won't exhibit any signs of the trauma, but when put in a situation that triggers it, he or she will still react based on that trauma.  I think that's what's happening with Do-hee now.  What remains to be seen now is how Hae-kyung will react.  As a man, I would expect him to be very angry and hurt, but as a doctor and a therapist, he should be able to see Do-hee's behavior objectively for what it is, and help her heal from her scars.  

 

And maybe therein lies the crux of this story between these once dinner mates turned lovers.  The synopsis did say these two people will help each other heal, so maybe this is where the writer and director are taking us now.    

 

On the subject of the exes, well, we all know Jae-hyuk is sick mentally and the reasons for that are slowly unfolding.  And I think Jin No-eul is, too, but the drama isn't tackling it as explicitly as Jae-hyuk's case.  It's only hinted at it in earlier episodes.  There was the time in the hospital when the doctor told Geun-Wu she was malnourished and he was surprised.  They were there to treat her for the accident during the shoot, but the medical tests done to her inadvertently revealed what could be a much deeper problem.  This could also be caused by her family background and their financial problem.  No-eul probably tried to cope with the emotional insecurity brought about by her family situation by projecting a very confident and extroverted image, but deep inside, she's just this scared woman who wants everyone to love her.  If we analyze her statements whenever she spoke of her relationship with Hae-kyung, it was always in the context of what it did for her, what it made her feel.  It was always inward looking and always to her benefit.  It made her feel good to know that this handsome, successful man was at her mercy.  Unfortunately, her spell broke and he got over her.  Can you imagine how that makes her feel and how she would react?  I've seen people like No-eul in real life and they're hard to deal with because their narcissism and toxic personalities aren't something that can easily be detected.    

 

 

[nyzah13]

Thank you for a very detailed perspective @akhenaten.. You've got a very good judgement towards DoHee's character..

Kudos!! 

[Cherie Cee]

Oh wow, suddenly episode 11 and 12 changed the direction of the show. Light to dark. I am terribly annoyed st the writers, they better have a good explanation why its turning out this way and stir it back to the right direction. Seriously, this is Dinner Mate, not Ex-mate!!

[akhenaten]

Oh. And I think, despite his seeming obliviousness to what's happened to Do-hee, that Hae-kyung knows that something's wrong with her. Didn't he tell her once that she can't hide her feelings because everything shows on her face?  And when they were having that spicy meal and he was being all doctor on her again, he said this curious thing. As a doctor, he was concerned for her stomach, but as her boyfriend, he was concerned for her heart (and I doubt very much that he was referring to heartburn from all that spicy food hehehe). And he was giving her this look that I now realize he has whenever he's trying to tell her that he knows exactly what's going on, but he will wait for her to speak up.  As he said, she can tell him if she wants to, but she doesn't have to.  He knows she already loves him, but she still has to learn to trust him.