[Drama 2020] Once Again, 한번다녀왔습니다

[cuplik]

19 hours ago, chickfactor said:

I found Da-Hee and Jae-Seok's relationship so moving in the last couple of episodes. I was disappointed to see Yoon-Jeong throw a fit and say harsh words instead of treating Da-Hee for who she was: a genuinely sweet and kind person who treated her well. I'm sure things will all work out eventually, but I was sad to see that.

 

As I said before, I think Na-Gyu couple can learn from the Da-Jae couple - even though I don't enjoy seeing them hurting, I think they are dealing with it in exactly the right way that is true to their characters:

 

Da-Hee: Being honest and earnest about her feelings, and always being well-intentioned and thoughtful, which is her nature.

Jae-Seok: Again, being honest, but also calls his mom out when she behaves in an unacceptable way. He doesn't do it with malice, but because it needs to be said.

 

Not blaming Gyu-Jin - he's not a bad guy - but he didn't call his mom out until after his divorce. Too little, too late. Yoon-Jeong isn't a monster, but she can be awful.

 

And Na-Hee? I was glad when she compared herself to her sister and realized that the way she did things - cold and stand-offish - isn't always the best way. Again, I *like* Na-Hee's character, I like it when a character is no-nonsense and just does what she needs to do to have a fulfilling life and meet her own wants and needs. I don't think she needs to prostrate herself to please anyone. But she really is too abrasive sometimes, even to Gyu-Jin and even *now*. I'm glad that he accepts her for who she is and is fine with it - but... well, she is who she is.

 

 

I fully agree with all this. The Sadon couple might not have considered all the consequences yet, but when they decide to do it, they go all the way. I am kinda like that too, coz sometimes the more you think or plan, the more scary/complicated it will be (with all the scenarios that might play out and if you have to plan for each one). Liquid courage won't hurt either hahaha.

 

All of them are reacted within their own characters. Even the evil mom (Yoon Jung) is shown to really like DH as a person, not as cold hearted as she is with NH. I was thinking like "lady, you want to find bride for JS that is above and beyond like you said but whats the use if she won't get along with you again. then you will die alone and miserable".

 

I love JS in this journey. He manned up on everything and has been so patient. 

 

I don't like how GJ always kicks JS whenever he doesn't like something JS did. So rude! I know it's a sibling fight but it's just not right to do it to anybody. Also how is it that Kdrama people always have narrow vision field, like they can't see from the corner of their eyes or can't see that the mom is approaching when you are facing that way. It's not like the mom just apparating there suddenly, she has to walk quite a distance! I know its a plot but still....*shake my head*

[kboramint]

3 hours ago, cuplik said:

 

I was just thinking about this after watching the eps. Is it because they have kids so they are more accepting? Or because they know their son is at fault? Where is the ex-wife family, why are they not mad when their daughter got divorce and suffering because of it. Seems she is just by herself and needed the Song's family help to babysit all the time. Or maybe their relationship with that side in-laws is still good (although not shown) and the divorce wasn't a big scandal like NH-GJ's.

 

Was gonna post this question but you beat me.

 

I guess they could of cast the ex-wife's family and build a story around them but I think that's to much for the writer and pd. There's already a lot of sub-plots going on. I just assume that she's a orphan that has no siblings.     

[partyon]

Re-watch party: Season 1 (sageuks)

All chingus, come and join us for a special sageuk re-watch party event!

 

We have chosen three sageuks:

1) Faith (with Lee Min Ho)

2) Empress Ki (with Ji Chang Wook)

3) The Moon Embracing the Sun (with Kim Soo Hyun)

 

All three dramas were big hits back in the day, some even achieving over 40% viewership ratings!

 

You can join one of the re-watch parties or all of them! It doesn't matter if you have already seen the drama or it's your first time. Everyone is welcome to join!

 

Your Event Organizers,

 

@partyon & @Lmangla

[dramaninja]

Both  mothers really annoyed me, GJ and NH admit their faults here but they cant never do the same. This is one of the major problems they had in their relationship which was their mothers always thinking they right or knows what best.

 

 

 

[heartslined]

Nahee's mother annoys me, I disliked her when she only thought about herself and gave Nahee the cold shoulder for way more time than necessary. She knew that her daughter had a miscarriage and needed emotional support but chose to selfishly torture her daughter. Use your words for heaven's sakes. I feel like the actress also overacts in some scenes. 

 

Gyujin's mom's reaction fits with her overbearing, overly emotional character. I liked how they showed how conflicted she was in accepting Dahee with her holding the handkerchief and crying at the table padding/dinner Dahee made. 

[D27Gjk68]

They seem to have dropped the plotline where GJ's mom is drinking too much or having mental issues.  I'm really unimpressed with how both of her sons are overlooking that.  I wonder if they will address that soon and it will affect her relationshiop with Nahee.

[rolisrntex]

10 hours ago, heartslined said:

I feel like the actress also overacts in some scenes. 

Finally, someone who saw it the same way I did. Why can't Korean mothers just  quit trying to run their kid's lives and dictate everything. Loved Cho Yeon's conversation with Na Hee's mother today. Put up a fight for a little but you are going to have to give in. Like she said, if the mother gets her way, the kids will resent them forever. Why can't they see that when it so dang obvious?

 

Powerful ending to today's episode. GJ didn't come right out and say he would cut ties with his mother, she got what he meant and went nuts at that point. I loved his point,  "Does that hurt to hear that? Do you feel some of the pain you inflict on others?" It needed to be said. He has learned his lesson.  He let his mother mentally abuse NH during the first marriage. He is not going to let it happen again.

[cuplik]

GOsh, having the two couples scenes against the mothers back to back really gives perspective on how each individual and each couple handles the situation. I said it before, I like the way JS and DH handles it. Firm but not over the top. GJ swings from one extreme to the other, while JS is more middle road.

 

Now I might be bashed for this, but why GJ looks he always ready to cry whenever he speaks in the last 2 episodes? And yeah, his mother is frustrating but in my opinion, he was way too emotional instead of cool headed or smarter when pleading & reasoning with his mom. He pretty much just went into a yelling match with his mom and pouring oil on water. And in the last scene, after his mom pretty much asked if he will cut of ties with her and GJ went "why why? are you hurt mom", his face is just too....what is the word, not polite? Making fun of her? Too crazy? I can't explain it. Totally different than JS I say. Yes I understand he stands up for NH now but I also can understand NH's mom POV, no mothers want to see their kid got hurt and then go take that same thorny path again. 

 

So GJ explains his reasoning for the miscarriage issue. How about the other times when they are being petty to each other, like when he doesn't want to give NH a ride home, or when they fought over small things (milk, laundry, etc). When he refused to go to counseling before the divorce?

[Nodame]

@rolisrntex oh my god the words GJ said to his mom at the end. I have heard IRL and not fun. Dang parents and family, cannot win.

 

Today’s episode was emotional.

 

i loved how YD wanted his wife to hang out with his sis and  Ok Ja. CY showing her strength to our persuade her by literally using her strength (running joke/theme seeing this AGAIN by writer nim). Lol hehe mom striking and hitting all the pins down and CY totally missing them all. I love how they all get along comfortably. I concur this conversation CY had with OB was amazing about allowing kids in the end have there way so you get resented. 
 

Mom did go overboard showing her love. I mean even dad was shocked speechless about the miscarriage. Mom knowing her friend and MIL to NH she was nasty. She admitted she totally doted on GJ too in the past. She must had felt betrayed but him on his handling of the miscarriage.  Today he stood 5 hours in the scorching sun plus said a heartfelt confession even NH never heard. Kudos for mom saying I will reconsider if can talk to your mom. OB was right about GJ mom. Though she isn’t much better to be honest. The histrionics and shrill times was getting to me. 

 

Glad dad got to talk to GJ too! GY hit home his frustration on his mom. I know the feeling. Sigh hugs!
 

For comic relief didn’t care for side story of the annoying training hyung full of himself when both CY workers attention s date. The hyung saying who ever comes first can date me. Dang. He got stood up when they both went for the next guy. 
 

GJ mom acted predictably with her hateful words just kept saying we hate each other to NH and letting talk either. Gosh both moms with their ultimatum. It is true you want the best but it is not your life. 
 

Glad JH went to HS over bailing on dad instead. Yeah go JH! Such a sweetie! HS is a better hyung male figure to JH.

 

Not sure about next week but in for a doozy still.

 

 

Edited August 17, 2020 by Nodame

[chickfactor]

Yoon-Jeong's problem is that she is self-centered. Even when she decided to reconsider Da-Hee it was all about how Da-Hee was nice to HER. It wasn't about how much her son loved this woman, but how this woman treated HER.

 

Anyway, to Ok-Boon's credit, she's at least thinking of her daughters' well-being, as her primary concern is about how Yoon-Jeong will treat them. I don't completely blame her for being upset at Gyu-Jin, and she changed her mind pretty quickly after letting him have his say. As far as histrionics go, hers isn't that bad.

 

Of course, when Na-Hee first got divorced, she did react in a very self-centered way - concerned with how this was embarrassing and disappointing for her, and less concerned with Na-Hee's well-being.

 

So... yeah. Korean moms really need to check themselves. It's just like Jae-Seok said: he's the one marrying her, so obviously his opinion should be the one that matters. I think parents are allowed opinions about who their child marries, but I don't think they should have veto power.

 

How is Ji-Hoon so mature and lovable? I love that they ditched his dad. Taste of his own medicine.

 

In the midst of all these bombs - I would love for the parents to accidentally run into Ga-Hee and Hyo-Shin making out. HAHA, yes, I'm sadistic. 

 

The kimbap waitresses and the stunt guys movie date. Yay girls.

[emerald ox]

In many situations couples don't dare to go against their parents, especially in Asian cultures, for reasons like respecting elders (and what else?). Elders continually highlight what they have sacrificed in the past to bring guilt to their kids like what GJ's mom said I gave birth to you, I brought you up etc. NH-GJ have jobs and goodness sake they are over 30s, and at this point they are better off living lives without parents involved. But elder's blessing is such a big issue there and NH did say marriage will at some point involve people outside the husband-wife. Heck I always say parents do have wisdoms but they don't live same lives as us. We may look like making poor decision to their eyes, I guess that's what moms in this show feel now.  

 

What's with yelling and straining to send message across. My dear the actors/actress must've consumed so much energy during acting. I was shocked they managed to put words into sentence and gave some thought to counter arguments during the process. Unrealistic much? I've never been in such intense argument and I can't think well under those pressure so much so I end up avoiding conflicts. Kudos for those people who fight well with words, I wish to have same courage but words hurt sometimes.

[Mocharel]

As someone in Asian family with a mom hurling all sorts of expectations on you I really feel for these couples.... these moms really need to listen to their children and think of their happiness too for once. Okboon’s slightly better but I agree with what everyone said about Gyujin’s mom. If i were Gyujin I would “slap” her a bit by saying, well imagine if Nahee was your daughter, and her MIL was treating her like trash, would you be happy with that?? Does she even consider Nahee, or any other women that could’ve ended up with her sons, someone’s beloved children? Children of parents like her? It’s true, she was indeed selfish, yeesh.

[rolisrntex]

1 hour ago, emerald ox said:

 NH-GJ have jobs and goodness sake they are over 30s, and at this point they are better off living lives without parents involved.

 

It took my Korean wife a while to come to terms with this. They just have a hard time turning off the mama bear when their children reach adulthood.  She always wanted to lecture them whenever they called or came over. I had to keep telling her to let it go. "They don't want a lecture and they are aren't listening anyway. They are adults they need to make and learn from their own mistakes. I know it hurts to see them make their mistakes and get harmed from them but the hard lessons they learn from them will stick. They won't make those mistakes again." 

[Nodame]

@chickfactor Bingo about Yoon Jeong indeed. It is true she was only thinkikng how DH treated her in order to allow her to come to change her mind on her. Unfortunate but true with her she has a big EGO. Actually IRL, my dad is like her. I totally felt for JS and GJ. In fact I have always been more GJ like and kept it in not saying anything until last year. 

Spoiler

Not going to lie, I want to do what JS did and go to another state (in USA) or country, I don't do to worrying about my mom. Like YJ, my dad only thinks about himself. He really cannot think of others and doesn't think of who his tone, how he talks to others is not so nice. Cutting words and not nice words and NEEDING to have their own way ALL the time. Yup, all is well ONLY IF they get their way and treated well. 

 

@Mocharel Gosh me too, I grew up second generation in a Chinese family. I hear you.

Spoiler

I am the eldest. I understand GJ so much. I wanted to do what JS did. I have held it in and let my dad has his way. MY baby sis did what JS did and she can being the maknae.  In my family, my mom is fine it is my dad who is the one who makes life difficult. Never good enough because not earning so much, not successful enough, not being married etc etc. Or appearance not looking the way they want you to look with the very oppressive Asian standards of beauty and physical appearance.

 Yes, both mom have histronics. Yes the OB initially was all about losing face in the market place because her daughter  NH who is her pride and joy to SHOW off got divorced. But once she found out about the miscarriage, she was sad/upset and felt a bit chastened about her behavior and stopped about NH divorcing too. So when she was digging into GJ, I felt she was justified as a mom to fear for NH to not go through that pain again especially dealing with GJ's mom. If GJ was not there she was vulnerable and alone dealing with YJ. 

 

Spoiler

I had a friend going through tough times with their mother in law like GJ mom and the hubby always sided with his mom. She is up there and the father in law not being nice to my friend who is like DH personality. She is still married but she only recently after 14 rs marriage after dealing living across the street from her in laws and weekly dinners, she decided to stop going. She still has her hubby and daughter go but she herself has checked out of those meals.Her sanity and well being is better too. The in laws don't shout like the moms but their digging comments and passive aggressive /toxic behavior towards my friend was not good. 

 

 I applaud NH to get a divorce. At that time GJ was not communicating and she was trying to have him talk but he was not able to talk to her. So even if she pressed GJ to open up he DID not. So even if she wanted counseling, he would  no do it. So NH did what she thought was love was lost and no longer there. They needed that time away to realize their mistakes, lack of communication and trust in each other, plus taking each other granted. GJ needed to addresss his mom's intrusive and overbearing ways. NH needed to realize (after seeing DH with YJ) that she was not innocent either not TRYING to get along at least with his mom. 

 

@rolisrntex Thanks for sharing. Yes Asian parents lecture and like ANY parents want the best. They def are all in your business. I am not a young person and I constantly getting advice from them. 

Spoiler

(I am not married --omg that makes them upset and my job is not as lucrative as they would like.  Then they go off on how I live my life too and what they perceive me not worrying about my future. I love them but it is a never ending nag session from my dad (thankfully not my mom). I don't need both of them to do it. 

 

As NH was saying, she admits she was wrong and GJ did too. I am glad that GJ had to do extreme measures and show his true feelings in order to move OB. (Good job and it rotted he had to suffer outside in the blazing heat for 5 hours in a SUIT no less.)  OB would be moved (unlike his mom) by his sincerity. OB was right to say I will ONLY reconsider if you handle your mom. Yoon Jeong IS a tough pill to swallow. She is essentially not evil but she is a tough cookie all about herself.

 

Rotted GJ had to resort to saying his mom was selfish and when he shared NH was repenting about her attitude and behavior towards his mom. Mom as we know did not let NH get a word edgewise (then again OB did not too with GJ). Both moms said their pieces and left the room/place. So when both NH and GJ heard the other was their respective moms (they are so in tuned). Both did not want to worry the other and tried using their efforts and sincerity. (Then again granted YJ did call NH to meet but she STILL went to meet up with her knowing it would be difficult).

 

The yelling is a bit much  but frankly talking QUIETLY or calmly never worked with my dad.

Spoiler

I did not want to raise my voice with my dad (when I had my OWN GJ encounter with my dad). Like him I was tearing up and frustrated. I had to say some hard to hear truths . Still life is not easy but slightly better. I felt better telling him what HE needed to hear. My mom just learned to turn deaf to my dad. Not great solution but that has enabled to be married to him for over 40 years.

 

Love love Ji Hun! The child actor is so handsome but plays him so well. Ga Hee is totally blessed with having him as her son. A sweetie pie and sensitive/caring to her and those around him. He was touched when seeing his shoelaces tied by HS for him. Teasing not to do it too tightly or he cannot put on his shoes. Just a sweet boy.

 

In the preview, I love how Seo Jin goes to GJ and hugs him. She is going to help tie the families in a sense. CY has been playing her part too. I missed her.

 

I was surprised to see the Kimbap gals and Stunt men have their time in the SUN this week.

[tas82]

Screw that pile of poop. Pack your bags and leave them to it. Both grown and earning a decent wages in great careers. . **** em! They'll run come ring the doorbell once the grandkids start popping out. Go enjoy some peace and serenity for a change. Bunch adults throwing a wobbly like there toddlers. Then on the other hand you have lovely Ji Hun realising what's important in life and he ain't even hit puberty yet. 

 

From the preview looks like the stress is gonna trigger her illness. Probably early onset Alzheimer's or dementia. Sad it'll take an illness for her to change. Would be nice to see them just cut them off until they stop being so toxic.

[foreverempress]

I empathize and sympathize more with the mom's than I do the main couple. They took their families through all that heartache and made the decisions on their own and then have the nerve to turn around and beg their families to understand when there was not trying to understand them. What did they expect? And Nahee was so disrespectful to her own mother; I want to smack her Popeye's right then and there. You took your mother through an emotional rollercoaster with the divorce and then expect her to tap dance just because you changed your mind again? Gyu Jin still does not know how to effectively communicate with his mother. He tenderly went to his mother-in-law and tried to convince her without yelling. Then he treats his mother as though she is the main issue. She has several issues which is true, and probably has dementia. However, he has yet tell her about the miscarriage. 

 

All of this BS could have been avoided, had this couple stopped being avoidant and went and got some therapy or involved their extended family to help them heal. I swear today's generation from 1910-2020 has to be the most self-absorbed and selfish I have ever seen. It's all about me me me me. Forget about you you you you you. 

 

[acidrain33]

at this rate, maturity doesn't come with age. kudos to Jihoon and Hyosin, our two MIL should learn from them. 

[cuplik]

12 hours ago, chickfactor said:

Yoon-Jeong's problem is that she is self-centered. Even when she decided to reconsider Da-Hee it was all about how Da-Hee was nice to HER. It wasn't about how much her son loved this woman, but how this woman treated HER.

In the midst of all these bombs - I would love for the parents to accidentally run into Ga-Hee and Hyo-Shin making out. HAHA, yes, I'm sadistic. 

 

True, that the mom only thought about DH being nice to her. But it's better than nothing! At least she realized she can get along with this one rather than getting a richer/smarter DIL that hates her.

 

I also want to see the mom-dad found out about GH-HS  Geez, this family crammed a lifetime of drama into 6 months!! They better hope they will live a long and peaceful life after this!

 

9 hours ago, emerald ox said:

What's with yelling and straining to send message across. My dear the actors/actress must've consumed so much energy during acting. I was shocked they managed to put words into sentence and gave some thought to counter arguments during the process. Unrealistic much? I've never been in such intense argument and I can't think well under those pressure so much so I end up avoiding conflicts. Kudos for those people who fight well with words, I wish to have same courage but words hurt sometimes.

 

True. It almost seems that GJ is just throwing tantrums and getting into yelling contests with his mom. JS is more pleading and negotiating. JS is also angry and emotional but he said everything that needed to be said clearly without yelling like crazy (he even said it with his own mouth that he will leave Korea and never come back - while GJ didn't actually say it IIRC).

 

It's hard to reason well when you are mad. I can't do it either. But it is SO easy to say hurtful words when you are mad. You might not even aware as you were saying those words. Words that can never be unsaid again and those words can slashed the other person thousand times more painful than actions can. This is my lifelong lesson and I am still learning to control myself to this day. I learned not to argue or send email/text when I am still super mad, or try to be the cooler headed one at least if it can't be avoided/delayed. Looking back at my younger and stupid self (I am older now but still stupid), there stuff (fights) that I wish I could've handled differently.

 

7 hours ago, rolisrntex said:

I had to keep telling her to let it go. "They don't want a lecture and they are aren't listening anyway. They are adults they need to make and learn from their own mistakes. I know it hurts to see them make their mistakes and get harmed from them but the hard lessons they learn from them will stick. They won't make those mistakes again." 

 

Very wise advice. I have come into this conclusion myself. I don't have kids, but at work, I have to deal with and train young kids out of college. After a long while, I realized I can tell them hundred tips & advice don't do this or that because it won't work blah blah blah, and those kids think I am a fossil and they are so smart and will still want to do it  & experience it themselves no matter what. Nowadays I just tell them "Go for it. Try it yourself." I'm sure I probably also did this too to my trainer back then.

 

I still don't get what the end game that GJ-NH wants. Just date for now? Until when? They haven't fixed or even worked on anything from before (other than let's be nicer and more understanding to each other). Did they think they won't get caught when they are so brazenly riding in same car near their houses/workplace or dated in open public spaces? Yes, exMIL said harsh words to NH "I hate you". But when she said to NH "you hated me too", it's true and NH can't deny that either. It was a two way street. I said it before, NH hasn't done anything to improve her relationship with ex MIL. Sure she acknowledges her shortcoming after she saw DH getting along with exMIL, but what did she expect to change this time??? They haven't even discussed the miscarriage issue with each other, only GJ did with OB.

[coconut_lemon]

Mother is indeed someone that has big role in our life. Conceiving, giving birth, breastfeeding, and raising children is not an easy matter. Their advice is also worth considering, because they have more experience than us and they are the only people who really want what's best for us. Even if you don't agree with mother's opinion, you must still respect and treat them well.

Both mothers are stubborn. OB is little rude and emotional.as a MIL she was treated well. but has she ever thought whether her daughter has treated her MIL well. YJ is very self-centered. Her opinion on the criteria of an ideal DIL is also shallow. But, Nahee and Gyujin should try to build a good relationship with YJ from before they got married and during marriage. But they didn't do that.

How could it be that after they ignored YJ all this time and after years of resentment in YJ's heart she would give permission in just a day. They should continue to pay attention, continue to be kind, and persuade little by little. It was a consequence because they ignored her all this time. Saying harsh words to get your mother to change her opinion in a day won't work, it just hurts her.

[heartslined]

BTS for the last 2 episodes. I really want to know what Sang Yi and Cho Hee were talking about in the last part haha