[Drama 2019] V.I.P, 브이아이피

[maribella]

Wasn't the scene of SJ and YR getting drunk  'The affair?

People get drunk all the time but why don't we call it 'affair'?

 I think the answer is obvious.

 

BTW what is emotional affair? Dirty talk on Whatsapp or emails? If they were commiserating about their illegitimacy and the consequences via some media, it is not an affair.  
 

If they had you know what just once and the rest of the time exchange messages of inappropriate nature, it is an affair.

 

Sorry people, when a man hurts someone whom he is supposed to love and cherish, and continues to do so, he is a colossal jerk. Good thing he wants a divorce.

 

edit: I think there is a difference between a marriage that has problems and

a marriage which has the husband cheating. Sometimes, both are happy in the marriage, but another woman was willing ( in this case very eager) and the husband thinks why not.

All marriages have problems, big or small or miniscule, but they do not necessarily bed another person.

[Takingthehighroad]

2 hours ago, partyon said:

Sometimes you have to tear something down in able to start over.

I agree with that, though I tend to apply it in a physical way. I practice it nightly. The only drawback is that reincarnation doesn't come with instructions, so SJ looks quite a bit different than he did at the beginning of the drama. 

 

Jokes aside, I know there are women who are so noble & forgiving & generous of heart that they can accept their partner's one-time mistake & continue the marriage. I admire women or men like that, but I'm not one of them. Rather, I'm the type who believes that once you taste forbidden fruit the chances are that you will taste it again. 

 

I see SJ as an emotionally immature boy. His noncommittal expressions are carefully crafted. He has spent his life so far masking his insecurities behind that facade. Does he love his wife? I don't think he knows what love is. I think he was drawn to JS's strength; like YR is drawn to what she misinterprets as SJ's strength. You put those two weak, emotionally immature people together (SJ & YR)...I can only imagine. 

 

[foreverempress]

Now that I'm done being pissed, I will give you all my perspective as a licensed marriage and family therapist that deals with these issues frequently within the next 24 hours. But I will drop this nugget:  Infidelity and adultery is wrong, but if my husband is going to cheat, I would rather he hit it and quit it with an attractive chick he has no emotional connection to, opposed to him having an emotional connection because emotional affairs, even if they are not physically consummated break more marriages up long-term than any other form of infidelity. Most women hate the sexual aspect of infidelity but they care more about the following ten questions:

 

Do you love her (mistress and in some cases misters)?

 

Do you still love me?

 

Did you get the chick pregnant?

 

Did you cheat in our marital home?

 

Did you spend money on her?

 

How many times did you cheat with her?

 

How long has it been going on?

 

Do you want a divorce?

 

Are you going to end it?

 

Why her?

 

If the husband answers yes to the first question it is not going to matter about the remaining questions, unless she is Catholic or Protestant (or any other religion or belief) that believes divorce and remarriage is a sin (see the Book of Matthew for the exceptions) is sold out to her beliefs, 8 times out of 10 she is done!

 

JS is experiencing what most spouses or people that are in a couple experience more women than men which is called PISD Post Infidelity Stress Disorder. 

[smhelen]

4 hours ago, roli said:

destroying this pair and change the companie. 

She needs to hook up with Daniel promptly. 

[lebeaucouple]

I enjoyed this thread for the open discussion that related to marriage and its affair. I like the phrase when saying "destruction and construction" and it applied in many areas and mainly to the whole mess of the situation that required to click a reset button.  If this applies to the marriage or in any relationship,  I can see the deep pain and tragic for those parties involved, especially with children involved. My two sisters had gone thru the tragic experience before. The level of tolerance is beyond our imagination. Men and women are in despair. Sometimes a new life is required when both parties can't even solve the root problem (even went thru their marriage counseling)---- this is due to many many reasons, such as adultery, character difference, cultural differences, financial issue, in law problem, etc....

 

Emotional connection and sexual physically linked are still considered cheating/betrayed in my book. But which one is more scary , some said physical, some said emotion.  My answer is still the same, it all depends on the involved parties' character and their level of tolerance and acceptance. 

 

Life comes with choices,  once you made the choice, should not look back but move on to a new life. I am not an advocate for divorce. Hate and negativity can only remain in short term because they are very toxic in life.

 

When one door closes, another opens, we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we often can't see the one which has opened for us.  

 

To all my chingu, stay positive, as always.....

 

[INJINFAN]

Just as scene in grocery store has a woman telling Yuri that JS and SJ are "it" couple and lead a charmed life, generally all of their friends think they are the perfect, lucky couple.  But as episodes unfold, we find that they are not really intimate with one another.  He keeps many secrets from her, not just the affair.  Apparently she doesn't know that half his time is spent doing personal errands for the VP.  He meets with her mother and gives her money without JS's knowledge.  The never discussed locked nursery represents an unresolved issue, at least for JS.  He has never shared the truth of his growing up; he knows about her past, but she does not want to deal with or forgive her mother.   Keeping up all these illusions is wearing on both and comes unraveled under stress.  This does not absolve him, but he looks like a ticking time bomb from the beginning.  

 

On another topic, after the momentary satisfaction of getting even, JS will be the one to suffer if she focuses too long on revenge.  Best way to get revenge is to move on and lead a happy life. (This comes from hard lived personal experience.)  He will not be able to make a life with YuRi; their relationship is doomed.  JS needs to change jobs, date and move out of that house.  Best ending would be him seeing how much other men are attracted to her, see her moving on and realize what he has lost.  His life will naturally fall apart; she doesn't have to cause it.

[Sirry Usly]

Wow I honestly want her to invite him to the house again, he accepts, and she sets the house on fire. Also, she should invite that richard simmons so they can both die together. God I hateeee cheaters. richard simmons both of them. Sorry for all the swearing I'm just soooo angry!! 

[Yippeun_eonnie]

11 hours ago, serendipity... said:

The audacity of the...... newly rich chick to even consider there's an opening for her & ML blows my mind. She surely lives in her own sweet & sour bubble isn't she? Call me heartless but I feel no sympathy nor empathy towards such slimy chicks like her. On the other hand she does make a good pair with ML; two shitty slimy cheaters lol

 

Best thing about this week is the rising of the phoenix; FL. Tbh I couldn't stand her for being so weak and clingy towards a man who cheated on her but she finally starts to rise from the ashes. It was high time she fought back and I hope she takes the high road and never look back

 

wah... you really speak what I have in mind.

 

I have one principle as a woman, no matter how pitiful your life is or how lonely you are there is no justification for you to take part on someone else relationship. its never right for you to come between them even by pitiful reason. 

So when Yu Ri said "I've never been greedy in my whole life but this time please allow me to be greedy" I instantly thought this woman need something to smack her brain and slap her on the face. 

 

What JS mom said while they're having dinner together is right, if a man ever being together with the mistress no matter how they will never be happy, the guilt will always haunted them. 

[SyH]

 

 

[smlinwa]

Even though my anger level shoots through the roof, I can’t wait for Monday to see what happens!!!! 
 

@ktcjdrama 

“He doesn’t really welcome touches from YR, as far as we’re shown now, eg. she was hesitant and careful in trying to get close to him (lift scene), the way she texted him to meet and tell him she misses him. 

 

What I see is that SJ has been trying to break free knowing what he did was wrong, but due to instructions from boss, he can’t really cut ties with YR that easily.”

 

I saw this very differently. I think you’re being too kind. I agree with @maribella. She was careful because they are at work and can’t get caught. And if it were only emotional, how the heck did they jump from guardian relationship to being able to say out loud or by text that she misses him and that they should end things. It was physical. I’m thinking the accident wasn’t a lie and that she found out accidentally about his dad and they got drunk and it happened that night. He needed comforting and she was there emotionally and physically. 
 

and yes, we see him fending off her touches, but not in the elevator scene! He didn’t push her away there! And every time he leaves YR he hesitates and forces himself to leave, not because he wants to leave. He’s totally gone. Physically, even if it’s just once, and definitely emotionally. He even says to his friend that his heart aches every time for YR. 
 

Also, JS not providing emotional support is normal when you don’t know that your husband is having his biggest emotional struggle. He asked her to go to the funeral casually and with absolutely no explanation of the importance of it. She looked tired and understandably would not want to go out. 
 

My theory on why he never opened up to his wife about his dad is that yes, it’s a difficult and shameful topic for him, but more because of JS’s own experience of her mom

abandoning them for another man. She was on the other side of the cheating from SJ. So he perhaps felt she wouldn’t be able understand and would think less of his mother and him. 
 

I also agree with @foreverempress. If my husband were to cheat on me, I’d be able to forgive a one night meaningless stand, but I’d make him pay for it for a long time. Muhahaha. However, if his heart left me, that would crush me. That I couldn’t recover from easily. And the last thing I could do was stay with him because I’d never truly know if he still loved me and stayed because he loves me more or because he felt guilt and felt he was atoning for the betrayal. I’d always be wondering if he were wishing to be with and thinking about the other woman. 
 

 

[Adelle_not_the_singer]

17 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

@partyon love what you’ve written. I don’t hate SJ and YR too because I can see why they ended up having a connection. Judging from their body language while interacting, theirs wasn’t a physical lustful connection, but more on the emotional aspect. He doesn’t really welcome touches from YR, as far as we’re shown now, eg. she was hesitant and careful in trying to get close to him (lift scene), the way she texted him to meet and tell him she misses him. 

 

isn't that the more painful kind of cheating? emotional because it already involves the heart. and you have to invest in emotions to do that. Physical cheating is easier to ignore because most men can do it without  love. :))

 

I was getting the hint that it could be Yuri but I am really disappointed that SJ cheated on his wife.

 

I am excited  for the next episode on what JS will do to take revenge on those cheaters. I love how she outed them  SJ and YR during the lunch date with the VP. I get the feeling YR isn't really the daughter of the VP but her mistress too. Being his daughter is just a press release that why he begged his wife.

[partyon]

17 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

JS on the other hand, has been quite fierce when confronting the issue. For someone like SJ, that kind of approach will only close him up further, thus the breakdown in communication.

 

I can’t blame SJ for keeping the truth about his father from JS. In his mind, his father is dead, he has no father. He told everyone that, not just JS. It’s not that he has malice intent in keeping that a secret. He was just ashamed of his past. He is a man of few words, even since college days, so he has been consistent with his personality. SJ is a closed up person, but so is JS. She doesn’t allow him to speak/explain himself properly. Or maybe a better way to put it, she doesn’t listen well to him. She has always approached him with anger since the text.

@ktcjdrama Thanks for your well formulated thoughts (and sorry about cutting off parts of your text from the quote)!

I agree 100% with the points you raised. I think you especially hit the nail on the head about the communication issues in the marriage.

 

To me it's obvious that there is a lack of balance in the marriage. JS is talkative and emotional - SJ is quiet and has a hard time connecting with his own feelings. This is a very typical setup in female-male relationships.

 

So what happens when both are at the extreme ends of e.g. talkative vs. quiet?

The talkative woman talks, talks and talks, and she complains that her partner never says anything. Whereas the partner feels like he never gets a word in (because she's always talking). So he just gives up and listens.

If both would learn how to talk AND listen, there would be balance in the marriage. Mind you, the change can only happen if BOTH partners see what they need to improve in themselves.

In JS's case she is the emotional one. I suspect SJ has tip toed around her because of that reason. I am sure he has felt that he is somehow "responsible" for JS's emotions. As JS's emotions have been overwhelming in the marriage, he hasn't been able to bring up his own emotions. Here we again have an imbalance.

 

I agree that JS hasn't really tried to understand her husband after the emotional affair, and she hasn't really let him explain himself because her emotions have been all over the place. It's tough for the closed up one - it's a lot to deal with when you also have your own emotions to deal with, and yes, a lot of times it will just create an even larger rift between the two parties.

 

Btw, I am not blaming JS for the demise of the marriage - SJ is equally much to blame.

 

I suspect we will find out more things about the past and how they ended up in this situation. If they are to save their marriage, they must understand what part both of them have played in their marital problems. By learning to understand yourself, your own emotions and reactions, you have a much better chance of being a good partner and finding a balanced relationship. 

 

Anyway, kudos to both Jang Nara and LSY! They are doing a fantastic job portraying the breakdown of a marriage!

 

 

 

 

[Takingthehighroad]

Blaise Pascal wrote: The heart has its reasons which the reason knows nothing of.

 

So as a viewer I sit here trying to "reason" why SJ ended up this way. I personally think that all men at one time or another come in contact with a Yuri. It's the mighty words "I do" that are suppose to keep the man or woman in check. It's like when you hit the wrong key on your keyboard...you can bang the key all you want but you don't go anywhere. There are no accidents or flings or such; not in a marriage. Once you say "I do", that takes precedence over everything else...or should. If not, then it is just a matter of time until you succumb to a Yuri.

 

I don't think there is any way to salvage the marriage. And I don't think JS's revenge will go smoothly as long as the VP is in control. So I'm looking for something to happen with the VP - like a big take-down from the other side, which, in turn, will take down SJ/Yuri. 

 

[Pam_Van Fossen]

On 12/4/2019 at 4:45 PM, partyon said:

I am wondering, though, if she really wants to destroy her husband or if she despite everything is unconsciously trying to save her marriage?

I think she is really upset and angry right now.  When you are betrayed you go through so many different emotions.  According to the preview, she asks SJ is there is still a chance for them.  She still loves him and does not want to give him up.  Especially to Yuri.  His betrayal has hurt her to the core.  Even if they stay together and try to make it work, it will be a difficult road for them both.  SJ having to try and earn her trust back while JS will question his every move.  In the end, will it be worth it?  I don't know.  I'm not sure how I feel about her getting back with him.  I think he needs to actually spend some time with JS explaining his real feelings if he still loves her.  He said he feels guilty and can't look at her face,  and as a result has not even tried to talk to her.   In order to save the marriage, it can't all be done by JS.  He doesn't feel he deserves JS, and so he is not even trying.  I wonder which one he really loves and truly wants to be with.  I know one thing, I do not want him to end up with Yuri while JS is stuck having to work in the same department with her.  

 

Hoping that next weeks episodes will have them both calmer and able to look at their situation.  The preview shows SJ looking at his phone which has Yuri's name showing, and he says I will stay by your side.  I hope he means he will stay by JS's side and is there to tell Yuri, they are done.  The only way I can see him and JS making it after this betrayal is if they both move to another job and really work hard on their relationship, leaving the VP and his daughter to make it on their own.  

 

 

[maribella]

8 hours ago, smlinwa said:

I saw this very differently. I think you’re being too kind. I agree with @maribella. She was careful because they are at work and can’t get caught. And if it were only emotional, how the heck did they jump from guardian relationship to being able to say out loud or by text that she misses him and that they should end things. It was physical. I’m thinking the accident wasn’t a lie and that she found out accidentally about his dad and they got drunk and it happened that night. He needed comforting and she was there emotionally and

No I was not being kind, just questioning how to see it as an emotional affair as some people are questioning whether it's physical or emotional. I am thoroughly peed off with those two scum.

Besides, if you are doing things, physical or otherwise which should only be with your wife, it is cheating.

 

Calling it 'affair' sounds too polite for an adultery.

 

Yes I agree, the drinking night was telling us that it started then, not just the drinking but what followed after.

 

I have had big arguments with the other 'women', a couple of them, and they used arguments like ' she does not understand him, I thought they are getting a divorce, I did not chase him but he chased me'  are among the more self deluding excuses.

 

@Pam_Van Fossen oh no you still want them to get back together? If they had children, yes I would agree. But if she had loved and trusted him, this would be the greatest betrayal. I would not be able to get over it. The only worse thing that could have happened was if the other woman was her good friend.

In real life if a man tells his good friend that he loves the other woman ( someone posted that, while they were playing basketball) then he has made his decision. He is staying with JS out of guilt and pity, she is much better than that. I hope the writer believes that JS can overcome this heartbreak and will move on.

For our sakes, she will leave triumphantly. 

[marinated_lemon]

On 12/5/2019 at 4:45 AM, partyon said:

Sung Joon

was born out of wedlock, his father abandoning his ex-wife for his mom. The father cheated on his mother, and left them in the end

For some reason he never told his wife about this.

 

I love reading your explanations. I feel the same way, that it is a sad story for everyone here. I think nobody wakes up in the morning thinking "ah...i want to take away someone's husband today!" or "ah, this is a good day to be a cheater!" Nobody wakes up thinking that he/she aim to become bad.

 

Nobody think so fondly of disclosing his family secret that his cherished mother is actually a cheater that took away someone's husband and father - at least not to someone who lives her life living the opposite side of fate: feeling tormented by the infidelity of her mother (JS mom left the family for another man, right?)

 

On Baby

SJ mom often come to their apt to stock up on vitamins to enable them to have baby. When JS lost her baby, It must be traumatizing for JS. She realized how a baby is wanted, but with their office matters, SJ emotional inavailability, the absence of her own mother...she must have felt so alone. When SJ asked her to go to funeral with him, it might also be the time when JS is sobbing over her lost baby, or the time when she fight with her own mother (who is a cheater)...so it is only understandable that he couldnt bring up the story in which his cheater dad had just passed away.

[LSYfan]

7 hours ago, Pam_Van Fossen said:

I think she is really upset and angry right now.  When you are betrayed you go through so many different emotions.  According to the preview, she asks SJ is there is still a chance for them.  She still loves him and does not want to give him up.  Especially to Yuri.  His betrayal has hurt her to the core.  Even if they stay together and try to make it work, it will be a difficult road for them both.  SJ having to try and earn her trust back while JS will question his every move.  In the end, will it be worth it?  I don't know.  I'm not sure how I feel about her getting back with him.  I think he needs to actually spend some time with JS explaining his real feelings if he still loves her.  He said he feels guilty and can't look at her face,  and as a result has not even tried to talk to her.   In order to save the marriage, it can't all be done by JS.  He doesn't feel he deserves JS, and so he is not even trying.  I wonder which one he really loves and truly wants to be with.  I know one thing, I do not want him to end up with Yuri while JS is stuck having to work in the same department with her.  

 

Hoping that next weeks episodes will have them both calmer and able to look at their situation.  The preview shows SJ looking at his phone which has Yuri's name showing, and he says I will stay by your side.  I hope he means he will stay by JS's side and is there to tell Yuri, they are done.  The only way I can see him and JS making it after this betrayal is if they both move to another job and really work hard on their relationship, leaving the VP and his daughter to make it on their own.  

 

 

I believe in second chance. Everybody makes mistakes & SJ is not exceptional & he is NOT perfect.

i would like to see JS giving SJ another chance to save their marriage which they have been building for 10 years.

praying hard that SJ will be at his wife side...again

Please PD, I Just need a happy & meaningful ending, especially on Christmas Eve.

 

[monalisa]

I wonder if OYR wasn't the VP's daughter, would SJ have acted differently. I feel JS should just let him go and move on. Their marriage didn't even seem like a happy one.  In fact, I find that all the staff in the V.I.P. department have the same bleak and unhappy expressions.

[marinated_lemon]

I wonder why SJ saved JS's number on his phone as "My Other Half"

 

but cheated, and now asking for divorce.

 

I wonder what will he saved her name as then?

 

Btw If I were JS, I would visit my dad and get his insight on why and how he can be so calm when mom cheated on him. It might not be something that JS wants to hear though, but having his point of view might give her extra strength to move on. I mean...with SJ as the VP's beloved errand boy, and the girl claimed to be the VP's daughter (although I really think that is just for the press, and in reality she might actually is the mistress), and the VP seem to have his eye set on staying in power whatever it takes (which means, he will likely to crush JS is she makes attempt to tarnish his/his errand boy's/his "daughter"'s reputation.). Yes, JS can team up with VP wife, but I also wonder how that works out.

[etelou1]

Someone let me know 

so the affair happened around the time of his father funeral and his wife grieving for their lost baby right?

So how long has this affair been going on? 

 

I like reading everyones justification of how affairs can happen but I'm sorry, this couple can't be together in the end. I know I'm placing myself in this situation but I just couldn't....The man who she married was a lie. They didn't know each other. can we please have a scene where she slaps the girls around or at least trow some water in someones face. She's too calm for me.