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Very Important Poll  

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  1. 1. Was there an affair?

    • No, there was no affair. It was one sided on Yoo Ri's part
    • Yes, there was an ongoing affair.
    • It was a one night stand.
  2. 2. The Conspiracy Theory

    • Yoo Ri is not the real daughter but the VP's mistress.
    • Sung Joon is doing this for his own gain ( to advance his career).
    • The VP hired Yoo Ri to destroy the Sung Joon - Jung Sun.
    • This is a high-end escort service.
    • There really is no conspiracy - just a marriage breaking down.

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  • Poll closed on 12/16/2019 at 01:50 PM

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The audacity of the...... newly rich chick to even consider there's an opening for her & ML blows my mind. She surely lives in her own sweet & sour bubble isn't she? Call me heartless but I feel no sympathy nor empathy towards such slimy chicks like her. On the other hand she does make a good pair with ML; two shitty slimy cheaters lol

 

Best thing about this week is the rising of the phoenix; FL. Tbh I couldn't stand her for being so weak and clingy towards a man who cheated on her but she finally starts to rise from the ashes. It was high time she fought back and I hope she takes the high road and never look back

Edited by triplem
Pls don’t bypass the swear filter .
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Whoa, this thread is moving fast! :o The hate towards Yu-Ri and SJ is real...

I'm even scared to watch ep 9 and 10 now... Not sure if I will have anything good to say about them in a few hours either.   :D I'll be back with comments soon

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39 minutes ago, partyon said:

Whoa, this thread is moving fast! :o The hate towards Yu-Ri and SJ is real...

I'm even scared to watch ep 9 and 10 now... Not sure if I will have anything good to say about them in a few hours either.   :D I'll be back with comments soon

Good luck watching it lol:mrgreen::joy:. You will be joining us soon:sweatingbullets::lol:.

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I have been wrong all along with my explanation in this drama, aka, thinking JR has a mental illness similar to the character in It's a Beautiful Mind.

I want to add, the Vice President wife thinks highly of JR. She can be her ally in this sorry tale of deceit. 

 

We will see. 

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1 hour ago, smhelen said:


I want to add, the Vice President wife thinks highly of JR. She can be her ally in this sorry tale of deceit. 

 

We will see. 

I was thinking the same: it would be nice and great if JS and vice president wife team up into destroying this pair and change the companie. 

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I am probably going to be the party pooper in this thread, so feel free to jump over my post if you are waiting for me to hate on Yu Ri. :D  Also, apologies for the long post. :)

 

I actually think this is a sad situation with no winners here. This drama actually depicts how quite many affairs start.

 

Sung Joon
Sung Joon was born out of wedlock, his father abandoning his ex-wife for his mom. The father cheated on his mother, and left them in the end. As a child he must have felt abandoned. He shouldered his father's actions and burdens, and deep inside he felt shame and guilt.

For some reason he never told his wife about this. Why? We can only speculate, but probably because he was not ready to disclose this information. Jung Sun said that he was always closed up and had a hard time talking about his feelings. He was close to telling her about his father when he asked her to come to the funeral, and the moment passed when she didn't want to attend.

 

So why did he have an emotional affair with Yu Ri?

Because she was in the "wrong place at the wrong time". He was in a place in his life when he needed something specific on an emotional level. He needed understanding, he needed a person whose shoulder he could cry on. Someone who could comfort his sadness and loneliness after his father's death. Yu Ri, who had a similar background to him, could give him what he yearned at that moment.

Jung Sun was depressed at that time (probably because the death of their baby?) and she didn't have the capability to support her husband's emotional needs. The emotional connection was lacking in the marriage. He would probably never have cheated on JS, had JS been emotionally available for him when his father died.

 

Why does he want a divorce?
Easy to answer. He's scared! He's scared of facing himself, his own shortcomings, the feelings of guilt and sadness of what he has caused himself and his wife. So instead of facing those fears, he runs away. This is a very common response for a person who isn't connected to his own feelings so well.

 

I also think it's very important to remember why people cheat on their partners. It's not because there's something wrong with their partners or necessarily even in the marriage. It's a manifestation of what the cheater is looking for on an emotional level. The cheater is trying to fill in a gap / void in themselves.

 

Yu Ri

Yu Ri is looking for a father figure. Something she lacked when she was growing up. Her father hasn't really stepped up to the plate so far, has he? Like SJ, she has the same trauma of being born out of wedlock which has caused her abandonment issues and shame. She wants to be loved and accepted, and suddenly someone comes into her life who protects her and stands up for her. She also wants to fill the void of loneliness and sadness of not being accepted or approved fully by her father's family.
I don't think she is a bad person, she seems sincere in her own way, but she's scared of losing the connection she has felt with SJ. That's why she's trying to cling onto him.

 

Jung Sun

She intrigues me. What did she experience when she lost the baby and why did she feel she did something wrong towards Sung Joon?

Of course she would feel betrayed by her husband's affair and being asked for a divorce. But she isn't giving up!
I am wondering, though, if she really wants to destroy her husband or if she despite everything is unconsciously trying to save her marriage?

 

We still have 6 episodes to go. I don't know what the writer has planned for the ending, but I still think that there is a chance that our couple could mend their marriage. It seems that despite everything that is going on, there is still a deep sense of love between the two of them. Sometimes you have to tear something down in able to start over.

 

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@partyon love what you’ve written. I don’t hate SJ and YR too because I can see why they ended up having a connection. Judging from their body language while interacting, theirs wasn’t a physical lustful connection, but more on the emotional aspect. He doesn’t really welcome touches from YR, as far as we’re shown now, eg. she was hesitant and careful in trying to get close to him (lift scene), the way she texted him to meet and tell him she misses him. 

 

What I see is that SJ has been trying to break free knowing what he did was wrong, but due to instructions from boss, he can’t really cut ties with YR that easily. 

 

JS on the other hand, has been quite fierce when confronting the issue. For someone like SJ, that kind of approach will only close him up further, thus the breakdown in communication. I too see that he tried to come clean about his father by inviting JS to go to the funeral, alas it’s just the wrong timing because of her state of emotions at that time. Notice the way she responded to him (her eyes) was not exactly friendly (great acting by JNR) Most people seeing that kind of respond will just stop any attempt to connect. 

 

I can’t blame SJ for keeping the truth about his father from JS. In his mind, his father is dead, he has no father. He told everyone that, not just JS. It’s not that he has malice intent in keeping that a secret. He was just ashamed of his past. He is a man of few words, even since college days, so he has been consistent with his personality. SJ is a closed up person, but so is JS. She doesn’t allow him to speak/explain himself properly. Or maybe a better way to put it, she doesn’t listen well to him. She has always approached him with anger since the text. 

 

Anyway, I don’t want to make this too long. In no way am I defending that what JS and YR did was right. I’m just saying that I understand why it has come to this. Since we’re only at ep.10 now, I believe there will be some unexpected twist about their relationship. We’re finally shown the baby room, and I think we’ll soon see how JS was like after the miscarriage. She might have been very angry and took it out on SJ, or pushed him away one too many times, causing a gap in their marriage. Let’s see. It’s too early now to make a verdict that their marital problems happened all because of SJ alone. Well actually, marital problem will never be a one-party fault. 

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So I was wrong and YR is the mistress ! Oh dear, the drama has taken on a complete different vibe since the reveal. I thought this will be a more corporate battle kind of drama so I am a bit surprised. But glad this thread is not choked with heated debates about the moral issues.

It is wrong to for SJ to have an affair with YR (whether emotional and/or physical). Let us see how the couple deal with this mistake. Will continue watching as Jang Na Ra's acting is certainly worth my time.
 

Still unknown : who sent that text message to JS ? Did someone send the elevator clip to SJ to threathen him ?

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Wasn't the scene of SJ and YR getting drunk  'The affair?

People get drunk all the time but why don't we call it 'affair'?

 I think the answer is obvious.

 

BTW what is emotional affair? Dirty talk on Whatsapp or emails? If they were commiserating about their illegitimacy and the consequences via some media, it is not an affair.  
 

If they had you know what just once and the rest of the time exchange messages of inappropriate nature, it is an affair.

 

Sorry people, when a man hurts someone whom he is supposed to love and cherish, and continues to do so, he is a colossal jerk. Good thing he wants a divorce.

 

edit: I think there is a difference between a marriage that has problems and

a marriage which has the husband cheating. Sometimes, both are happy in the marriage, but another woman was willing ( in this case very eager) and the husband thinks why not.

All marriages have problems, big or small or miniscule, but they do not necessarily bed another person.

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2 hours ago, partyon said:

Sometimes you have to tear something down in able to start over.

I agree with that, though I tend to apply it in a physical way. I practice it nightly. The only drawback is that reincarnation doesn't come with instructions, so SJ looks quite a bit different than he did at the beginning of the drama. 

 

Jokes aside, I know there are women who are so noble & forgiving & generous of heart that they can accept their partner's one-time mistake & continue the marriage. I admire women or men like that, but I'm not one of them. Rather, I'm the type who believes that once you taste forbidden fruit the chances are that you will taste it again. 

 

I see SJ as an emotionally immature boy. His noncommittal expressions are carefully crafted. He has spent his life so far masking his insecurities behind that facade. Does he love his wife? I don't think he knows what love is. I think he was drawn to JS's strength; like YR is drawn to what she misinterprets as SJ's strength. You put those two weak, emotionally immature people together (SJ & YR)...I can only imagine. 

 

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Now that I'm done being pissed, I will give you all my perspective as a licensed marriage and family therapist that deals with these issues frequently within the next 24 hours. But I will drop this nugget:  Infidelity and adultery is wrong, but if my husband is going to cheat, I would rather he hit it and quit it with an attractive chick he has no emotional connection to, opposed to him having an emotional connection because emotional affairs, even if they are not physically consummated break more marriages up long-term than any other form of infidelity. Most women hate the sexual aspect of infidelity but they care more about the following ten questions:

 

Do you love her (mistress and in some cases misters)?

 

Do you still love me?

 

Did you get the chick pregnant?

 

Did you cheat in our marital home?

 

Did you spend money on her?

 

How many times did you cheat with her?

 

How long has it been going on?

 

Do you want a divorce?

 

Are you going to end it?

 

Why her?

 

If the husband answers yes to the first question it is not going to matter about the remaining questions, unless she is Catholic or Protestant (or any other religion or belief) that believes divorce and remarriage is a sin (see the Book of Matthew for the exceptions) is sold out to her beliefs, 8 times out of 10 she is done!

 

JS is experiencing what most spouses or people that are in a couple experience more women than men which is called PISD Post Infidelity Stress Disorder. 

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4 hours ago, roli said:

destroying this pair and change the companie. 

She needs to hook up with Daniel promptly. 

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I enjoyed this thread for the open discussion that related to marriage and its affair. I like the phrase when saying "destruction and construction" and it applied in many areas and mainly to the whole mess of the situation that required to click a reset button.  If this applies to the marriage or in any relationship,  I can see the deep pain and tragic for those parties involved, especially with children involved. My two sisters had gone thru the tragic experience before. The level of tolerance is beyond our imagination. Men and women are in despair. Sometimes a new life is required when both parties can't even solve the root problem (even went thru their marriage counseling)---- this is due to many many reasons, such as adultery, character difference, cultural differences, financial issue, in law problem, etc....

 

Emotional connection and sexual physically linked are still considered cheating/betrayed in my book. But which one is more scary , some said physical, some said emotion.  My answer is still the same, it all depends on the involved parties' character and their level of tolerance and acceptance. 

 

Life comes with choices,  once you made the choice, should not look back but move on to a new life. I am not an advocate for divorce. Hate and negativity can only remain in short term because they are very toxic in life.

 

When one door closes, another opens, we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we often can't see the one which has opened for us.  :)

 

To all my chingu, stay positive, as always.....:wub:

 

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Just as scene in grocery store has a woman telling Yuri that JS and SJ are "it" couple and lead a charmed life, generally all of their friends think they are the perfect, lucky couple.  But as episodes unfold, we find that they are not really intimate with one another.  He keeps many secrets from her, not just the affair.  Apparently she doesn't know that half his time is spent doing personal errands for the VP.  He meets with her mother and gives her money without JS's knowledge.  The never discussed locked nursery represents an unresolved issue, at least for JS.  He has never shared the truth of his growing up; he knows about her past, but she does not want to deal with or forgive her mother.   Keeping up all these illusions is wearing on both and comes unraveled under stress.  This does not absolve him, but he looks like a ticking time bomb from the beginning.  

 

On another topic, after the momentary satisfaction of getting even, JS will be the one to suffer if she focuses too long on revenge.  Best way to get revenge is to move on and lead a happy life. (This comes from hard lived personal experience.)  He will not be able to make a life with YuRi; their relationship is doomed.  JS needs to change jobs, date and move out of that house.  Best ending would be him seeing how much other men are attracted to her, see her moving on and realize what he has lost.  His life will naturally fall apart; she doesn't have to cause it.

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Wow I honestly want her to invite him to the house again, he accepts, and she sets the house on fire. Also, she should invite that richard simmons so they can both die together. God I hateeee cheaters. richard simmons both of them. Sorry for all the swearing I'm just soooo angry!! 

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11 hours ago, serendipity... said:

The audacity of the...... newly rich chick to even consider there's an opening for her & ML blows my mind. She surely lives in her own sweet & sour bubble isn't she? Call me heartless but I feel no sympathy nor empathy towards such slimy chicks like her. On the other hand she does make a good pair with ML; two shitty slimy cheaters lol

 

Best thing about this week is the rising of the phoenix; FL. Tbh I couldn't stand her for being so weak and clingy towards a man who cheated on her but she finally starts to rise from the ashes. It was high time she fought back and I hope she takes the high road and never look back

 

wah... you really speak what I have in mind.

 

I have one principle as a woman, no matter how pitiful your life is or how lonely you are there is no justification for you to take part on someone else relationship. its never right for you to come between them even by pitiful reason. 

So when Yu Ri said "I've never been greedy in my whole life but this time please allow me to be greedy" I instantly thought this woman need something to smack her brain and slap her on the face. 

 

What JS mom said while they're having dinner together is right, if a man ever being together with the mistress no matter how they will never be happy, the guilt will always haunted them. 

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Even though my anger level shoots through the roof, I can’t wait for Monday to see what happens!!!! 
 

@ktcjdrama 

“He doesn’t really welcome touches from YR, as far as we’re shown now, eg. she was hesitant and careful in trying to get close to him (lift scene), the way she texted him to meet and tell him she misses him. 

 

What I see is that SJ has been trying to break free knowing what he did was wrong, but due to instructions from boss, he can’t really cut ties with YR that easily.”

 

I saw this very differently. I think you’re being too kind. I agree with @maribella. She was careful because they are at work and can’t get caught. And if it were only emotional, how the heck did they jump from guardian relationship to being able to say out loud or by text that she misses him and that they should end things. It was physical. I’m thinking the accident wasn’t a lie and that she found out accidentally about his dad and they got drunk and it happened that night. He needed comforting and she was there emotionally and physically. 
 

and yes, we see him fending off her touches, but not in the elevator scene! He didn’t push her away there! And every time he leaves YR he hesitates and forces himself to leave, not because he wants to leave. He’s totally gone. Physically, even if it’s just once, and definitely emotionally. He even says to his friend that his heart aches every time for YR. 
 

Also, JS not providing emotional support is normal when you don’t know that your husband is having his biggest emotional struggle. He asked her to go to the funeral casually and with absolutely no explanation of the importance of it. She looked tired and understandably would not want to go out. 
 

My theory on why he never opened up to his wife about his dad is that yes, it’s a difficult and shameful topic for him, but more because of JS’s own experience of her mom

abandoning them for another man. She was on the other side of the cheating from SJ. So he perhaps felt she wouldn’t be able understand and would think less of his mother and him. 
 

I also agree with @foreverempress. If my husband were to cheat on me, I’d be able to forgive a one night meaningless stand, but I’d make him pay for it for a long time. Muhahaha. However, if his heart left me, that would crush me. That I couldn’t recover from easily. And the last thing I could do was stay with him because I’d never truly know if he still loved me and stayed because he loves me more or because he felt guilt and felt he was atoning for the betrayal. I’d always be wondering if he were wishing to be with and thinking about the other woman. 
 

 

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17 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

@partyon love what you’ve written. I don’t hate SJ and YR too because I can see why they ended up having a connection. Judging from their body language while interacting, theirs wasn’t a physical lustful connection, but more on the emotional aspect. He doesn’t really welcome touches from YR, as far as we’re shown now, eg. she was hesitant and careful in trying to get close to him (lift scene), the way she texted him to meet and tell him she misses him. 

 

isn't that the more painful kind of cheating? emotional because it already involves the heart. and you have to invest in emotions to do that. Physical cheating is easier to ignore because most men can do it without  love. :))

 

I was getting the hint that it could be Yuri but I am really disappointed that SJ cheated on his wife.

 

I am excited  for the next episode on what JS will do to take revenge on those cheaters. I love how she outed them  SJ and YR during the lunch date with the VP. I get the feeling YR isn't really the daughter of the VP but her mistress too. Being his daughter is just a press release that why he begged his wife.

Edited by Adelle_not_the_singer
additional insight.
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17 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

JS on the other hand, has been quite fierce when confronting the issue. For someone like SJ, that kind of approach will only close him up further, thus the breakdown in communication.

 

I can’t blame SJ for keeping the truth about his father from JS. In his mind, his father is dead, he has no father. He told everyone that, not just JS. It’s not that he has malice intent in keeping that a secret. He was just ashamed of his past. He is a man of few words, even since college days, so he has been consistent with his personality. SJ is a closed up person, but so is JS. She doesn’t allow him to speak/explain himself properly. Or maybe a better way to put it, she doesn’t listen well to him. She has always approached him with anger since the text.

@ktcjdrama Thanks for your well formulated thoughts (and sorry about cutting off parts of your text from the quote)!

I agree 100% with the points you raised. I think you especially hit the nail on the head about the communication issues in the marriage.

 

To me it's obvious that there is a lack of balance in the marriage. JS is talkative and emotional - SJ is quiet and has a hard time connecting with his own feelings. This is a very typical setup in female-male relationships.

 

So what happens when both are at the extreme ends of e.g. talkative vs. quiet?

The talkative woman talks, talks and talks, and she complains that her partner never says anything. Whereas the partner feels like he never gets a word in (because she's always talking). So he just gives up and listens.

If both would learn how to talk AND listen, there would be balance in the marriage. Mind you, the change can only happen if BOTH partners see what they need to improve in themselves.


In JS's case she is the emotional one. I suspect SJ has tip toed around her because of that reason. I am sure he has felt that he is somehow "responsible" for JS's emotions. As JS's emotions have been overwhelming in the marriage, he hasn't been able to bring up his own emotions. Here we again have an imbalance.

 

I agree that JS hasn't really tried to understand her husband after the emotional affair, and she hasn't really let him explain himself because her emotions have been all over the place. It's tough for the closed up one - it's a lot to deal with when you also have your own emotions to deal with, and yes, a lot of times it will just create an even larger rift between the two parties.

 

Btw, I am not blaming JS for the demise of the marriage - SJ is equally much to blame.

 

I suspect we will find out more things about the past and how they ended up in this situation. If they are to save their marriage, they must understand what part both of them have played in their marital problems. By learning to understand yourself, your own emotions and reactions, you have a much better chance of being a good partner and finding a balanced relationship. 

 

Anyway, kudos to both Jang Nara and LSY! :) They are doing a fantastic job portraying the breakdown of a marriage!

 

 

 

 

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