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Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

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On 3/5/2016 at 2:17 PM, Vukasin Cekic said:

I'm new to ''Soompi'' but I got only 1 question for you girls...
There's a girl that I like a lot, the words will never cover that ''lot'', she was with another guy for a month and he broke up with her even tho something didn't feel right about their break up I met up with her on Wednesday we talked, not much, she told me that she hates him, that he's an richard simmons, can't even find more horrible words than this ''richard simmons''. I told her how I felt even tho there were like 4 girls I actually liked up till now, her included. Nothing happened cause she wanted to met up with her girl friends to talk about me I guess from what the phone call was about, she didn't really hid while talking on it or anything, she is really open as well. Next evening we all met up with 2 of my male friends and 1 of her female friend from the group. After an hour of talking and listening to the music I kissed her, second after that she kissed me like 2 times after that. After I had walked her home she kissed me directly once more even tho I was expecting it to be on the chick. Next day, she writes a message to me: ''Sorry I'm not ready for another relationship yet, I still love him and all that...'' word by word translation exception is his name.
What I would like to get as a reply is the whole clarification of this mess if not the tell me why can she say all those things about him and still love him and on top of that why would she kiss me if she still loves him ?

Thank you all in advance!

EDIT: Our mutual friend told me that she wanted to be with me and both evenings she kept saying that I'm a ''very very nice guy''... :'(

I am sorry for the vulgar words, but I'm literally going crazy...

// MOD EDIT: if you know it's vulgar, why use it? I've removed the vulgar words 

 

well if she doesn't say it to you then she probably just lonely and is just relying on you to get over her sadness

since your mutual friend told you she wants to be with you, then ask her and tell her how you feel. sometimes being a nice guy is a good thing, it means she cares about you. 

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Sorry if this is long I cant make threads yet and I really need help :S

Girls, what should I do in this situation?

Yesterday, I met a girl online chat app, this girl was really pretty so I told her and she answered with "thanks cutie pie", i took this as just a polite "thanks" and didnt pay much attention to the nick she put me, because is one of those nicks that girls use to refer to friends (?) and we had just met. I was in a part of the app in which where you talk to random people and I was paired with her, and really didnt want anything serious with her, she was cute but i just wanted to talk to people. The rest of the conversation went almost normal because I ended up treating her somehow bad (i feel sorry now, but as I said i just wanted to talk to people, I didnt want anything with her) and saying bye, to what she answered "bye cutie pie" again I didnt pay attention to the nick. A couple hours later I decided to revive the conversation, because I decided I wanted to have something with her. This conversation was even weirder because when I made the first question she didnt answer even if she answer almost instantly when i said "hey", i thought she was like "this guy treats me bad and still thinks he can have something with me" so I said i was sorry and would leave her alone, she then sent me a pic with a sad face and then sayed im doing my homework. I told her i didnt wanted to bother her and we could talk later to what she answered with "-_-". I took this as a "I want you to talk to me" so I kept talking. The conversation got even worse because she only answered to 1/3 questions (literally); this happened for like 2 hours and after that she didnt answer my last question on that day, i didnt care but I was really wierded out.

Later that night (about 11pm) she said "good night *cute nickname*". Now I know girls sometimes text in the night because they want us to talk to them the day after, and I was surprised she did it, so i said something like "you are still alive! are we gointg to talk to tomorrow?", to what she simply said "Yep" so I said "see you tomorrow then. Have a good night princess". She sent some emoticons and it ended there.

The next day I was i was a little bit excited because (now) i wanted something with her, and it seemed lie she wanted something too, so i started the conversation, and it went just like the last one. At the end I was bored because I thought we both wanted something with each other, yet she didnt answer so I said "You know, i'd love to you now you better, but its so hard to talk to you" she answered with some emoticons and "Tomorrow".

Im not sure what should I do or say tomorrow? Is she really interested in me? Its really weird I dont now what to do :S

 

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On March 19, 2016 at 7:46 PM, sveagle said:

Im not sure what should I do or say tomorrow? Is she really interested in me? Its really weird I dont now what to do 

 

 

From what I understand it's as if you guys are unknowingly playing mind games on eachother. You were disinterested when she was interested...then interested when she was disinterested (she probably became disinterested "after" your initial behaviour. It's not a pretty way to start a relationship that's for sure but if you really want something I'd highly suggest cutting the online talk short and setting aside time to meet up in person. It is very possible to change someone's first impression of you to something more positive this way.

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27 minutes ago, raymondc27 said:

How rude is it for a guy to ask a girl for her pre surgery picture?

Assuming she told you outright she had ps then she's prob not afraid to show you either.

Assuming you asked if she had ps then you are probably not afraid to ask further either. Rude? Perhaps.. but then again you'll never satisfy your own curiosity otherwise lol

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6 minutes ago, omochi said:

Assuming she told you outright she had ps then she's prob not afraid to show you either.

Assuming you asked if she had ps then you are probably not afraid to ask further either. Rude? Perhaps.. but then again you'll never satisfy your own curiosity otherwise lol

Haha i always wanted to ask a korean this. Maybe one day i will or perhaps it might just destroy the image i had in mind

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@raymondc27 it depends. If she's holding some sharp object and has fire shooting from her eyes, it's best to keep your head down, not to look into her eyes while you slowly back away towards the nearest exit. Once there, move as fast as you can.

If she's not, it can mean anything. Look at my hair, don't look at my hair, showing interest, showing lack of interest... It's the rest of her bodylanguage that will tell you what she means.

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On 4/14/2016 at 9:34 AM, raymondc27 said:

Hey guys i always wanted to ask if a girl flicks her hair does it mean to richard simmons off or shes interested ?

 

depends ! agreed with the post above me

look at her overall body language

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at the previous building where i worked, there was a woman there who had me at the palm of her hands. i would use every opportunity to perve on her, and im sure she knows this as well. this one time when i went outside for a smoke break, she was there sitting on a bench not far from the main entrance. the bench i sat on, i chose purposefully to position myself for a 10 second runway show as she will undeniably walk past. i got what i wanted, and more. just a little after the point where she turns and has her back to my view, she does a hair flick with her hands. now this could have been logically reasoned. but a part of me strongly believes she did it purposely with the intent of telling me something along the lines of; i know youre looking at me and you better be, because im fine as richard simmons. but you cant have me.

i have never wanted a richard simmons so much.

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1 hour ago, zantac_2 said:

at the previous building where i worked, there was a woman there who had me at the palm of her hands. i would use every opportunity to perve on her, and im sure she knows this as well. this one time when i went outside for a smoke break, she was there sitting on a bench not far from the main entrance. the bench i sat on, i chose purposefully to position myself for a 10 second runway show as she will undeniably walk past. i got what i wanted, and more. just a little after the point where she turns and has her back to my view, she does a hair flick with her hands. now this could have been logically reasoned. but a part of me strongly believes she did it purposely with the intent of telling me something along the lines of; i know youre looking at me and you better be, because im fine as richard simmons. but you cant have me.

i have never wanted a richard simmons so much.

 

hahahahahahahaha laughing way too hard at this. but i could just picture this in my head so well. hahahahahahahaha.

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1 hour ago, zantac_2 said:

at the previous building where i worked, there was a woman there who had me at the palm of her hands. i would use every opportunity to perve on her, and im sure she knows this as well. this one time when i went outside for a smoke break, she was there sitting on a bench not far from the main entrance. the bench i sat on, i chose purposefully to position myself for a 10 second runway show as she will undeniably walk past. i got what i wanted, and more. just a little after the point where she turns and has her back to my view, she does a hair flick with her hands. now this could have been logically reasoned. but a part of me strongly believes she did it purposely with the intent of telling me something along the lines of; i know youre looking at me and you better be, because im fine as richard simmons. but you cant have me.

i have never wanted a richard simmons so much.



I, too, have felt the same about a girl as of late.

I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. You know, food has lost it's taste. Colors, you know, they seem dull. Things that used to matter, I don't know, they just no longer do. I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I...






unless I bang her.

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16 hours ago, MiDnite89 said:

I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. You know, food has lost it's taste. Colors, you know, they seem dull. Things that used to matter, I don't know, they just no longer do. I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I...






unless I bang her.

Hmmm quoting "Hitch"?

Funny movie that :)

 

Anyway, I do know the feeling @zantac_2! She could be teasing, she could be dropping hints, she could also not even have noticed you. It's a delicate situation which, I admit, have read completely wrong plenty of times. Boy did that make me fall flat on my face a lot of times... :( 

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Ladies i need your take on this. I met this girl in my senior year of high school, she was a freshman. I approached her and asked if she had a boyfriend, she said yea, so i just went about my business and we just became friends. But she broke up with him, but i had no idea. Her friends were telling me she likes me but I wasn’t sure. Then she gets another boyfriend not too long after that. On graduation one of her friends gives me a hug and then she comes out of nowhere and was like “No No” and gives me a big hug. I was thinking to myself “hmm she’s jealous”. a year or so fly by I contacted her on social media, she still had a boyfriend. I told her I had a crush on her in high school and i still do. She told me she had a crush on me also when she broke up with her boyfriend, but said she was too shy to tell me and she thought i had a girlfriend, but I didn’t i have a girlfriend. she says she is old fashion and she likes the guy to pursue her, i told her i didn’t want to pursue her because she was in a relationship.

She also told me after i graduated she still thought about me and she would tell her friends how handsome i was and how when i used to come and talk to her she will get chills in her body, and when i graduated she said she wondered if i left town, or got married or had a baby. I’m thinking to myself why is she concerned about my life in this way while she is in a relationship? I was telling her that I was leaving the city because i felt my life was bigger than what it was. And she told she wanted me stay. But i can’t wait for her to break up with her boyfriend, so i was still dating girls, but still had her on my mind.

sometime later, I found out my best friend was going out with her. I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend and he didn’t tell me about it because he thought I didn’t still have feelings for her, then I found out they had sex. He told me he just was sexually attracted to her, he didn’t want anything serious like i did. I asked her about this and she said “your friend asked me out more and approached me more and i figured you lost interest, and i thought you had a girlfriend” I told her I didn’t have a girlfriend and the reason why I didn’t approach her is because I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend, and thats not my fault for not knowing. Then she says “I’m sorry but i can’t go out with you, but you never know what will happen in the future so don’t give up hope too fast.”

I couldn’t believe she said that and knowing she had sex with my best friend. It felt like she wanted me to chase her throughout her whole life. I didn’t talk to her for about 2 months then i seen her at a hotel, we talked, we left on good terms, exchanged phone numbers we talked on the phone and texted. All of sudden she stops responding to my text, ignores my phone calls, ignore a message i sent to her on facebook, but I found out why. She was in relationship with someone!! I would have respected her more if She have just told me that instead.

I was in horrible state of mind, She led me on, all the things she said were not lining up to her actions, i was done with her and I cut off all contact with her. Later down the line, she followed me on twitter and now she’s married with 2 kids. then she followed me on my other twitter page, but she didn’t say anything which i thought was weird.

Do you think she’s trying to check up on me to see what i been doing in slick way? oh yea she unfriended my best friend on facebook, but she didn’t unfriend me. Its just looks she trying to keep me in her life. Ladies what do yall think?

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On 4/23/2016 at 10:05 AM, loveafteurpain said:

Ladies i need your take on this. I met this girl in my senior year of high school, she was a freshman. I approached her and asked if she had a boyfriend, she said yea, so i just went about my business and we just became friends. But she broke up with him, but i had no idea. Her friends were telling me she likes me but I wasn’t sure. Then she gets another boyfriend not too long after that. On graduation one of her friends gives me a hug and then she comes out of nowhere and was like “No No” and gives me a big hug. I was thinking to myself “hmm she’s jealous”. a year or so fly by I contacted her on social media, she still had a boyfriend. I told her I had a crush on her in high school and i still do. She told me she had a crush on me also when she broke up with her boyfriend, but said she was too shy to tell me and she thought i had a girlfriend, but I didn’t i have a girlfriend. she says she is old fashion and she likes the guy to pursue her, i told her i didn’t want to pursue her because she was in a relationship.

She also told me after i graduated she still thought about me and she would tell her friends how handsome i was and how when i used to come and talk to her she will get chills in her body, and when i graduated she said she wondered if i left town, or got married or had a baby. I’m thinking to myself why is she concerned about my life in this way while she is in a relationship? I was telling her that I was leaving the city because i felt my life was bigger than what it was. And she told she wanted me stay. But i can’t wait for her to break up with her boyfriend, so i was still dating girls, but still had her on my mind.

sometime later, I found out my best friend was going out with her. I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend and he didn’t tell me about it because he thought I didn’t still have feelings for her, then I found out they had sex. He told me he just was sexually attracted to her, he didn’t want anything serious like i did. I asked her about this and she said “your friend asked me out more and approached me more and i figured you lost interest, and i thought you had a girlfriend” I told her I didn’t have a girlfriend and the reason why I didn’t approach her is because I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend, and thats not my fault for not knowing. Then she says “I’m sorry but i can’t go out with you, but you never know what will happen in the future so don’t give up hope too fast.”

I couldn’t believe she said that and knowing she had sex with my best friend. It felt like she wanted me to chase her throughout her whole life. I didn’t talk to her for about 2 months then i seen her at a hotel, we talked, we left on good terms, exchanged phone numbers we talked on the phone and texted. All of sudden she stops responding to my text, ignores my phone calls, ignore a message i sent to her on facebook, but I found out why. She was in relationship with someone!! I would have respected her more if She have just told me that instead.

I was in horrible state of mind, She led me on, all the things she said were not lining up to her actions, i was done with her and I cut off all contact with her. Later down the line, she followed me on twitter and now she’s married with 2 kids. then she followed me on my other twitter page, but she didn’t say anything which i thought was weird.

Do you think she’s trying to check up on me to see what i been doing in slick way? oh yea she unfriended my best friend on facebook, but she didn’t unfriend me. Its just looks she trying to keep me in her life. Ladies what do yall think?

you are reading too much into it. just ask her yourself, she will give you the answer you want to hear

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On 4/23/2016 at 1:05 PM, loveafteurpain said:

I was in horrible state of mind, She led me on, all the things she said were not lining up to her actions, i was done with her and I cut off all contact with her. Later down the line, she followed me on twitter and now she’s married with 2 kids. then she followed me on my other twitter page, but she didn’t say anything which i thought was weird.

Do you think she’s trying to check up on me to see what i been doing in slick way? oh yea she unfriended my best friend on facebook, but she didn’t unfriend me. Its just looks she trying to keep me in her life. Ladies what do yall think?

 

I'll give you a not-so-similar scenario, but similar in the sense that I think I get what probably went through her mind. In my last year of high school, I became good friends with this guy. I felt somewhat attracted to him, but not to the point I wanted to risk our friendship for an awkward situation. Eventually I had gotten into a relationship, and then he got into a relationship. Our lives went on and eventually our paths split. We're still friends on Facebook even though he doesn't post often. Last year (when I wasn't in a relationship), I texted him and wished him a happy birthday because I got a FB notification about it. (I didn't post on his FB because I always text happy birthday to people who I consider good friends.)  I didn't ever get anything back -- maybe because he changed his number, maybe because his GF doesn't like random girls texting him, I don't know.

But the point is I think about him on random days, just for a fleeting moment. And if I'm thinking about him for longer than a fleeting moment, sometimes I'll "stalk" him on social media like a lot of people do. I don't ever message him or anything, but I have definitely thought about it. It's just simply because I want to say hi; I want to see if he's still the same person. I'm just curious. But I haven't ever had the guts because I can imagine how awkward it could get. Besides, I saw the other day that he got engaged to his girlfriend from high school. It would probably stir up too much drama.

Anyway, I guess I'm saying the difference between me and that girl you're talking about is that she just happened to go for it. She went with what her emotions were telling her at the time, that she should talk to you and see where you are in life now. You get curious sometimes, and the only way to settle that is if you go to the source and figure it out. She was just curious. You could really take it just that cut and dry.

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What are some reasons why a girl will talk to you in person, but ignore your messages. Its like she would not answer my message, but the next day they will talk to you like nothing happened. 

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