Quantcast
Jump to content

Ask The Ladies - Read First Post


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 11k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

@severus @rosierosie So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane coura

Nah, you just need experience

RUN! RUN FAR AWAY FROM THIS GIRL!!! 1) She had her friends telling you that she liked you, when she had a boyfriend. 2) She got a new boyfriend very quickly after breaking up. 3) She go

1 hour ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus @rosierosie

So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage or something like that.

So I got her number and I'm going to ask her out for a coffee date. 

If things don't work out, whatever, at least I won't be living with regret. Regret is worse than being rejected. 

 

I am literally grinning ear to ear. Good for you :)!!! Let us know happy news.

And yes sometimes the best or worst decision we make is through acting on impulsively courageous move. Go get her!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus @rosierosie

So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage or something like that.

So I got her number and I'm going to ask her out for a coffee date. 

If things don't work out, whatever, at least I won't be living with regret. Regret is worse than being rejected. 

 

What did you say to her to get her #? 

Link to post
Share on other sites

@frenchtutor

OK she replied. Yah she was busy. So I asked her out for coffee this weekend but she said her weekend is packed so we're going to meet next week on a weekday. 

I dunno. I feel like maybe she didn't smile at me that many months ago and that it was all in my imagination. If she were interested in me, she'd be more enthusiastic. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest severus

Chill with trying to gage her interest level before you even sit down and chat with her. She's busy, has other priorities, why overanalzye on the fact she doesn't reply within 24 hours.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest severus
1 hour ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus

So if you were interested in a guy and he asked you out for coffee, you wouldn't make it a top priority?

For me, unless I'm overwhelmed or something, I'll make time for a girl I like. 

 

Likely not.

Sure she has enough interest to give you her number and a chance. But what makes you think a girl who barely knows you would make you a priority, nevermind a "top priority"? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, severus said:

 

Likely not.

Sure she has enough interest to give you her number and a chance. But what makes you think a girl who barely knows you would make you a priority, nevermind a "top priority"? 

Completely true. The fact that you @cloudsailinglike her, doesn't mean she likes you on the same level. Not yet. She might get there in time, but she's being protective of her self for now.

I've never met a girl who wasn't hurt by a guy at some point in her life, unless it was in kindergarden. All women have bad experiences. That doesn't mean all men are bad, but sometimes expectations weren't met and the girl in question feels hurt, embarrased or worse. It happens. Such is (love-) life.

For all you know, she could simply be protecting her feelings before falling head over heels for you since she got hurt the last time. Perhaps she's just doesn't know you that well and is therefore a little shy or reluctant. Fact is however: YOU GOT HER NUMBER!
That means she has an above average interest in you. It's now up to YOU to show her that you're worthy of more. So stop whining, stop getting yourself down, man up and show her the real cloudsailing. The ball is in your court. Whether you choose to pick up that ball and score is completely up to you.

Good luck buddy :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus

So if you were interested in a guy and he asked you out for coffee, you wouldn't make it a top priority?

For me, unless I'm overwhelmed or something, I'll make time for a girl I like. 

 

I'm not a girl, but you're right in a sense from what I've seen.

The problem here is, she barely knows you.  But you have the advantage of her having seen you in real life already -- you're not some rando off Tinder or OKCupid.  

But, unless you're a celebrity or have the looks of a movie star, where she's so infactuated by you just based on the way you look and when you say "hi", she'll likely not make you a top priority.  A cute, single girl can essentially grab coffee with a bunch of guys every night, they're not short on dates.  

You can quickly become that after the first date.  

But yeah, if a girl is "into you", she'll ditch her friends and whatever, to go out with you especially early on.  

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Sommelier

So maybe it was all a mistake for me to have approached her? Maybe this whole endeavor is futile and nothing will come out of it. 

@severus

In your personal opinion, how high is your standard in terms of whether or not to give a guy your number? Would you give any guy (as long as he's not creepy/stalkerish) your number if he were to ask or would you have to be somewhat mildly attracted to him physically?

@CamelKnight

Do pretty girls actually get hurt that deeply? I realize this is a stupid question because anything can happen in this world but just generally speaking, say she was hurt by a guy, it's relatively easy enough for her to find someone else. Yah she may have had her heart broken but she also has other guys interested in her. It's a lot better than other average looking people's situations where after they lose someone they had strong feelings for, it's going to take a long time (or never) find that feeling in someone else again. 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, cloudsailing said:

Do pretty girls actually get hurt that deeply? I realize this is a stupid question because anything can happen in this world but just generally speaking, say she was hurt by a guy, it's relatively easy enough for her to find someone else. Yah she may have had her heart broken but she also has other guys interested in her. It's a lot better than other average looking people's situations where after they lose someone they had strong feelings for, it's going to take a long time (or never) find that feeling in someone else again. 

You're missing the point. You got her number. It's all that matters. Well, unless she gave you a fake number.
If it's truly her number, you've got an in. You're not there yet, but you're on your way. So stop making excuses and be positive! Nobody, and certainly not girls, likes a negative nancy :)

Meet her, talk to her, reach out and let her get to know the real you, woo her and take her home. Be the (gentle)man you've always wanted to be if you're really into this girl. You've got one shot at impressing her for the first time. You'd better take that chance to heart :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, cloudsailing said:

@Sommelier

So maybe it was all a mistake for me to have approached her? Maybe this whole endeavor is futile and nothing will come out of it. 

@severus

In your personal opinion, how high is your standard in terms of whether or not to give a guy your number? Would you give any guy (as long as he's not creepy/stalkerish) your number if he were to ask or would you have to be somewhat mildly attracted to him physically?

@CamelKnight

Do pretty girls actually get hurt that deeply? I realize this is a stupid question because anything can happen in this world but just generally speaking, say she was hurt by a guy, it's relatively easy enough for her to find someone else. Yah she may have had her heart broken but she also has other guys interested in her. It's a lot better than other average looking people's situations where after they lose someone they had strong feelings for, it's going to take a long time (or never) find that feeling in someone else again. 

 

 

Dude your over thinking like crazy. Just go have coffee with her and see if there's chemistry . Hell she might just be nice about it. So dude stfu and relax. Your over doing it

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, cloudsailing said:

@Sommelier

So maybe it was all a mistake for me to have approached her? Maybe this whole endeavor is futile and nothing will come out of it. 

@severus

In your personal opinion, how high is your standard in terms of whether or not to give a guy your number? Would you give any guy (as long as he's not creepy/stalkerish) your number if he were to ask or would you have to be somewhat mildly attracted to him physically?

@CamelKnight

Do pretty girls actually get hurt that deeply? I realize this is a stupid question because anything can happen in this world but just generally speaking, say she was hurt by a guy, it's relatively easy enough for her to find someone else. Yah she may have had her heart broken but she also has other guys interested in her. It's a lot better than other average looking people's situations where after they lose someone they had strong feelings for, it's going to take a long time (or never) find that feeling in someone else again. 

 

 

What you did was right.  It's really just a number's game.  So, if you approach 10 women a day randomly, there is going to be a large % that flake because: 1) they don't know anything about you except for the 5 minutes you spent talking to them; and 2) the cost/benefit for them meeting you is low because she could probably meet a guy she already knows.  

But, what you're doing is correct, because that still scores you a higher % than online dating.  Even if you were a male model, your match rate on Tinder, would maybe be 3 out of every 10 women (from experiments I've seen done online).  Out of that 30%, less will actually meet up with you after texting, and those that will agree might flake.

Whereas, when you approach like you did in real life, you're almost 99% certain to get some type of acknowledgement (whereas on Tinder, girls swipe left/right on a whim or for entertainment).  You're also more likely to get her # and get her texting.  And she also knows more about you since she's seen you in person.  She might still flake, but your %s are still much higher than on Tinder.  I always say, rather than spend 30 minutes on Tinder, if you spend 30 minutes on a college campus approach women you'll get much better results.

What you could try to do is take her out for coffee immediately.  Like ask her out then and there, treat the interaction like an immediate date.  Because, it builds rapport and familiarity.  When a girl is "into a guy" like you said, where she's intrigued and makes you her #1 priority, she already knows a bit more about you aside from just looks, and she sees you as a keeper/prize.  So, you want to get to that as soon as possible.  

If you can't make the first interaction an immediate date, then on the first date try to change locations after coffee -- maybe spend 15 minutes at the coffee shop and go to somewhere for dessert.    You want to do this because the way our memory works is, it has the same effect as two in single locations.  if you take her to two locations, it'll seem like two dates, if you go to 5 locations it'll seem like it's 5 dates.  So you're building rapport fast.  

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello, i would like some advice or any opinions from the ladies here. So i have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. Lately she found a job and has working with a guy that likes her and now shes telling me that she think she's developing feelings for him and she doesn't want to lose me but at the same time she doesnt want to hurt me anymore, she's so confused she doesnt know what to do. I told her its a normal phrase in a relationship to have little attraction or secret crush here and there as long as she leaves it and forget it and avoid them as much as possible and dont let it ruin our relationship. But nothing im saying is getting through to her, she feels really bad and unsure about our relationship and everything. What can i do? right now she's at the darkest point in her life with family problems too and i feel like i need to be there for her but i don't know how to help her when she wont listen to my advice and just feeling messed up right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/16/2016 at 0:54 PM, Falcior said:

Can I get a help from you ladies to figure something out.

I recently ended pretty good but fast relationship with great girl. But Im kinda confused about few things and I would like to get ladies point of view.

I dated a girl who had a long relationship before me. Before we started to see each other we talked about this and she said she was ok now and everything was fine.
We had a great time and I felt that she was very into me just like I was. We had blast together and overall it was great relationship.
She even had thought about future things she would do with me.
I wont talk about all the details but one day everything changed and I felt that she started to get more distant. When I talked about it, she kinda suggested that we should take a time out and be friends.
Now all of you should know that she pursued me and started to hint us toward dating etc. So she started it and I fell for her along the way.
I kinda feel used and I think I was bandage boyfriend for a while. But if I was, i think she would have treated me like that. But no, I really felt like she liked me alot and she said it many times.
Thats why I cant wrap my head around this. Why would anyone end healty relationship without any valid reason. Is the reason because she wasnt ready to date even though she thought she would be?
Maby we went too deep to fast and she wasnt ready? What do you girls think?

 

unless you straight out ask her, don't make assumptions. from your information, the girl probably was bored, use you as a rebound or she's probably not over her ex. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, thi_mnguyen_at_hotmail.com_stv said:

Hello, i would like some advice or any opinions from the ladies here. So i have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. Lately she found a job and has working with a guy that likes her and now shes telling me that she think she's developing feelings for him and she doesn't want to lose me but at the same time she doesnt want to hurt me anymore, she's so confused she doesnt know what to do. I told her its a normal phrase in a relationship to have little attraction or secret crush here and there as long as she leaves it and forget it and avoid them as much as possible and dont let it ruin our relationship. But nothing im saying is getting through to her, she feels really bad and unsure about our relationship and everything. What can i do? right now she's at the darkest point in her life with family problems too and i feel like i need to be there for her but i don't know how to help her when she wont listen to my advice and just feeling messed up right now.

 

wow you're in a toughie. i suggest taking a break and if she misses you then keep going on in your relationship, if not then it's time to call it quick. a girl that seriously wants to be with you will not have a second thought---option 2 is try to woo her all over again when you first got her in the first place---be romantic and surprise her. do you think your relationship is not exciting anymore, that's why the other guy is having her attention?  

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, rosierosie said:

 

wow you're in a toughie. i suggest taking a break and if she misses you then keep going on in your relationship, if not then it's time to call it quick. a girl that seriously wants to be with you will not have a second thought---option 2 is try to woo her all over again when you first got her in the first place---be romantic and surprise her. do you think your relationship is not exciting anymore, that's why the other guy is having her attention?  

 

 we both work till very late but still chat as much as we can at night and hang on the weekends but she told me she feels like as if the spark is disappearing but i told her its a normal phrase its something we can work on but she's really confuse with her feelings right now. i also did mention if we should take a break but she doesn't want too either

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Guest pinned this topic

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...