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Guest michele17

Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

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Ladies,

I met this girl at a company picnic and we hit it off really well. Thing is..I found out she has a bf. Normally I would move on, but I feel there are a lot of indicators of interest (sometimes we'll call each other and talk/facetime for an hour, we're #1 best friends on snapchat and instagram). We work in different departments but she would IM me almost every day to chat or ask how do to work things even though we have mutual friends who work right next to her (I'm in another building) and I feel like sometimes they're just excuses to chat?

Am I in the friendzone? I want to move on and rather than just stop talking to her/ignoring her, is letting her know that I respect her relationship while also making her aware of my feelings so I need the space a bad move?

Or maybe you're Plan B in case Plan A goes wrong.

Edited by singlebilingual

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On 11/22/2015, 9:28:33, soyable said:

 

 

 

sometimes there is no hidden meaning. Maybe she just want / need someone to talk to beside her best friend and her boyfriend. REASONs

1/ best friends knows too much

2/ doesnt want to talk to the boyfriend. she needs space from boyfriend or want to give him space

 

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On 12/19/2015 at 10:14 PM, ReckLESS_ said:

do you girls believe in second chances? Especially if the ex cheated and lied to you more than once?

No, actions show more than words. I would kick that ex to the curve and leave him there. Don't be stupid and give people second chances, some people don't deserve it.

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Guest severus
On December 19, 2015 at 11:14 PM, ReckLESS_ said:

do you girls believe in second chances? Especially if the ex cheated and lied to you more than once?

 

Y u do dis 

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17 hours ago, oryxncrake said:

What would be your reaction if your boyfriend periodically shared the same detailed story about his ex from 10+ years ago?

 

I'll probably be annoyed and ask for my time being wasted back. Seriously dude should just get over it.

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On 12/19/2015 at 10:14 PM, ReckLESS_ said:

do you girls believe in second chances? Especially if the ex cheated and lied to you more than once?

a few things I cannot tolerate are 1/ cheating 2/lying 

if you do either or both youre out !! no second chance. Lets just say they dont deserve the second chance !!! know your value honey. You doesnt look bad yourself, it takes time. 

me and bf stayed single for 2 years before finding each other on OKCupid

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Ladies, please help me with this. I need some very specific advice for a situation I'm in. 
 
Just some background. I wouldn't say I'm a totally shy/nerdy/awkward kinda guy but I do have trouble approaching a girl cold. As in, I don't know the girl and we don't know anyone in common and I'm not in any kinda social situation with her. Once I get past this, I'm generally OK.
 
So here's the situation. And I might have messed it up already but I want your opinion. So there's this girl at my local gym. Around 8 months ago, I was going through a pretty bad breakup and I was in no mood to date and generally just wasn't interested in getting to know women. I started going to classes at my local gym quite often and this girl is a personal trainer who works there. I noticed her obviously because I'm attracted to her but due to my frame of mind at the time, I wasn't planning on doing anything about it. One time, as I was leaving the gym, I think she smiled at me. Like it was very brief. I didn't really catch on at the time because this kinda thing NEVER happens to me. I thought she was smiling at someone behind me or something. So I just walked away and did nothing. This other time, when I arrived at the gym and I went to get a towel, she was working at the desk and she handed me a towel but she just handed me the towel with her eyes downcast. I've observed her at the gym and she's a very friendly, warm kinda girl with people and so doing something like that means she must have felt that I rejected her or something. It's an unfortunate misunderstanding because I am interested but just at the time, I was going through a bad situation.
We've passed each other in the hallways a couple times and again, I couldn't work up the courage to chat with her. Plus, she's always usually busy with her clients or doing something so I don't feel comfortable interrupting her. So as a result, just nothing ever happened.
 
Also, I stopped going to the gym for a couple months now because my work got super busy and I've been out of town quite often. But I've been thinking about her a lot and also I want to start dating again.
 
Do you think it's too late for me to approach her now? Assuming I'm not too late and she's already dating someone.
 
I don't really have a choice except to approach her cold. My plan is just to go to the gym and do my workout and if I see her on break or she's not working with a client, I will just go for it.
 
But did I already mess it up by not making a move that many months ago?

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Guest severus
1 hour ago, cloudsailing said:
Ladies, please help me with this. I need some very specific advice for a situation I'm in. 
 
Just some background. I wouldn't say I'm a totally shy/nerdy/awkward kinda guy but I do have trouble approaching a girl cold. As in, I don't know the girl and we don't know anyone in common and I'm not in any kinda social situation with her. Once I get past this, I'm generally OK.
 
So here's the situation. And I might have messed it up already but I want your opinion. So there's this girl at my local gym. Around 8 months ago, I was going through a pretty bad breakup and I was in no mood to date and generally just wasn't interested in getting to know women. I started going to classes at my local gym quite often and this girl is a personal trainer who works there. I noticed her obviously because I'm attracted to her but due to my frame of mind at the time, I wasn't planning on doing anything about it. One time, as I was leaving the gym, I think she smiled at me. Like it was very brief. I didn't really catch on at the time because this kinda thing NEVER happens to me. I thought she was smiling at someone behind me or something. So I just walked away and did nothing. This other time, when I arrived at the gym and I went to get a towel, she was working at the desk and she handed me a towel but she just handed me the towel with her eyes downcast. I've observed her at the gym and she's a very friendly, warm kinda girl with people and so doing something like that means she must have felt that I rejected her or something. It's an unfortunate misunderstanding because I am interested but just at the time, I was going through a bad situation.
We've passed each other in the hallways a couple times and again, I couldn't work up the courage to chat with her. Plus, she's always usually busy with her clients or doing something so I don't feel comfortable interrupting her. So as a result, just nothing ever happened.
 
Also, I stopped going to the gym for a couple months now because my work got super busy and I've been out of town quite often. But I've been thinking about her a lot and also I want to start dating again.
 
Do you think it's too late for me to approach her now? Assuming I'm not too late and she's already dating someone.
 
I don't really have a choice except to approach her cold. My plan is just to go to the gym and do my workout and if I see her on break or she's not working with a client, I will just go for it.
 
But did I already mess it up by not making a move that many months ago?

 

Bruh she smiled at you, obviously she wanted the D. 

Go for it, good luck!

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@severus

That was many months ago though. Is it possible she can still feel the same? 

I went to the gym at lunch today and she wasn't there. Pretty Disappointed. Should I keep trying? 

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9 hours ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus

That was many months ago though. Is it possible she can still feel the same? 

I went to the gym at lunch today and she wasn't there. Pretty Disappointed. Should I keep trying? 

 

that is the worst to keep guessing. go up to her and introduce yourself and be with her already. she's prob shy and waiting on your move. don't wait too long or she'll move on to the next guy who show interest first. 

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@severus @rosierosie

So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage or something like that.

So I got her number and I'm going to ask her out for a coffee date. 

If things don't work out, whatever, at least I won't be living with regret. Regret is worse than being rejected. 

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@cloudsailing

hey man mad props to you for approaching her AND getting her digits

here is another inspiring quote that has helped me with my cold approaches. 

"I've never regretted asking out a girl, and getting rejected. But I've always regretted not asking." - B.L.

 

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1 hour ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus @rosierosie

So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage or something like that.

So I got her number and I'm going to ask her out for a coffee date. 

If things don't work out, whatever, at least I won't be living with regret. Regret is worse than being rejected. 

 

I am literally grinning ear to ear. Good for you :)!!! Let us know happy news.

And yes sometimes the best or worst decision we make is through acting on impulsively courageous move. Go get her!!

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3 hours ago, cloudsailing said:

@severus @rosierosie

So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage or something like that.

So I got her number and I'm going to ask her out for a coffee date. 

If things don't work out, whatever, at least I won't be living with regret. Regret is worse than being rejected. 

 

What did you say to her to get her #? 

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hey you never know my friend. she could also be busy, its good to give her the benefit of the doubt. just go on with your business and if she doesn't text you back then move on

 

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@frenchtutor

OK she replied. Yah she was busy. So I asked her out for coffee this weekend but she said her weekend is packed so we're going to meet next week on a weekday. 

I dunno. I feel like maybe she didn't smile at me that many months ago and that it was all in my imagination. If she were interested in me, she'd be more enthusiastic. 

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Guest severus

Chill with trying to gage her interest level before you even sit down and chat with her. She's busy, has other priorities, why overanalzye on the fact she doesn't reply within 24 hours.

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