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On 6/24/2019 at 10:01 PM, humblebee said:

How would you tell an ex to stop drunk texting you in a way that wouldn't sound rude and cruel?

Do the same to him when he's sober. Make sure you add at the end that you're really not drunk and that you did it just to show how it feels. You don't want to give him a chance to frame you. (Don't get drunk when you do it. This would make him misjudge you and spread false claims about you).

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  • 4 months later...

So a female coworker came up to me and said, "so I heard you used to be really handsome" with kind of a curious tone. 

I'm wondering if her response was meant to be indirectly insulting? I wonder if she's implicating that I'm getting old and am now fugly? 

Or was she being flirtatious? 

Women of soompi, I need your help deciphering this cryptic message.  

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On 5/11/2021 at 11:58 AM, ra123 said:

So a female coworker came up to me and said, "so I heard you used to be really handsome" with kind of a curious tone. 

I'm wondering if her response was meant to be indirectly insulting? I wonder if she's implicating that I'm getting old and am now fugly? 

Or was she being flirtatious? 

Women of soompi, I need your help deciphering this cryptic message.  

That...is such a weird thing to say. It's like she's trying to simultaneously praise and insult you. I'd definitely not bother with someone who says that, I'd brush it off and forget about her. Don't even take her words to heart. It doesn't matter if her tone was 'curious'. These kinda ppl thrive off of confusing ppl. She seems ugly on the inside, if you ask me. Toxic ppl like her are not worth your time. You are certainly not ugly just cuz of someone's opinion.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 2 months later...
On 5/11/2021 at 10:58 AM, ra123 said:

So a female coworker came up to me and said, "so I heard you used to be really handsome" with kind of a curious tone. 

 

Perhaps she is just curious. 

On 5/11/2021 at 10:58 AM, ra123 said:

I'm wondering if her response was meant to be indirectly insulting? I wonder if she's implicating that I'm getting old and am now fugly? 

 

Nobody insulting anybody by using a word handsome I guess.. btw, getting old is a fact no one can runaway from that situation ;) 

 

On 5/11/2021 at 10:58 AM, ra123 said:

Or was she being flirtatious? 

 

Only you can tell..

 

On 5/11/2021 at 10:58 AM, ra123 said:

Women of soompi, I need your help deciphering this cryptic message.  

 

Sometimes people just suddenly become very blunt. No need to take it to your heart. Just focus in yourself and your vision. 

 

13 hours ago, Farell W said:

Why do girls need laser hair removal so much? Personally, I haven't yet met any girls who have been disgustingly hairy. In my opinion, it's a waste of money. Maybe you could explain to me why you're so concerned about it?

 

Because of we do not like too much hair growing on our bodies except the hair on our heads :) We love to appear glowing and perfect and fair and smooth <3

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On 10/12/2021 at 2:23 PM, Farell W said:

Why do girls need laser hair removal so much? Personally, I haven't yet met any girls who have been disgustingly hairy. In my opinion, it's a waste of money. Maybe you could explain to me why you're so concerned about it?

Don't you like it yourself when your girlfriend takes care of herself and goes for laser hair removal? I'm personally very happy that my girlfriend doesn't forget such nice little things. I think you should pay attention to it, just touch her and remember how nice it is.

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  • 1 month later...

Hello I want to ask for some opinions and advice on a situation that I can't seem to figure out myself. 


So a little background story: I have a close group of friends, most of us are girls and one guy. I have  been good friends with my guy friend for over a decade, I would say he is close but not close enough because we haven't hung out alone over the past decade and most of us just know him on the surface level because he is closed up and never shared anything personal when hanging out as a group. He has a history with my girl best friend in the group, but they never dated each other or did anything more than a friend. They both have mutual feelings for each other and he hurts her feelings by just wanting to stay friends. It takes a while because she is the one that confesses her feelings to him. Then another friend of ours (a girl) came along and did the same thing similar to my bestie on him, they both have mutual feelings but then she left for another man before he figured out he has feelings for her. They never dated or did anything that exceeded their friendship.  After all of that happened, we were still friends with him and he stuck around longer than most of our other guy friends.

 

Now this is the  story. I started to develop feelings for him like the last 5 years but it is on and off because I thought that he was the only single guy in the group and he is convenient so that is why I like him because I am also single and so my group of girls. As I say it was an on and off feeling for me because I try not to like him. I considered his feelings and my other friends feelings too even though she said she doesn't like him anymore. So within that 5 years, I liked him and then I told myself not to, then I moved on and had other crushes and dated other guys thithin those years. This year it suddenly hit me again and my feelings for him became stronger and stronger. One of my girlfriends told me to go hangout alone with him to see how it was and really figure out my feelings. I did ask him to hangout as she set us up, the first time was awkward like I said even though we have been friends for 10 years we never hangout one on one before. So we hangout like 2 times alone, and he opens up a little to me, I know a little more about him. Then I continued to ask him to hangout but with less friends around. Then as we hangout I am really not sure about my feelings for him because he sometimes would be hot and cold with me. When we hang out with fewer friends, it seems like I am invisible, he only talks to our other girl friend. I felt left out like he hated me or something. I would sometimes message him and give him like a few pick up lines to see how he reacts (he laughs at it though). But recently I started working full time and it is busy at work so when I texted him he would reply fast but i reply to him late due to work, then recently he doesn't seem to want to reply as much. He says that work has also been busy for him and all he wants to do after work is to sleep. 


I have never asked him for any favor or even asked him to help me on stuff because it seems like he would be willing to help our other friends (most of them are girls) which they asked him for many favors before so I just think it's typical of him. Before he was nice but just recently the typical me wants to keep distance and stay away from him because I don't want my feelings to get hurt like the past 5 years I did to myself, self sabotaging. So I kind of ignore him and rely on distance myself and not pay attention or keep eye contact.  When we went to celebrate our 10 years of friendship recently, I was asking him to pick me up because the place we are going to go with our group of friends is a big park and parking would be hard to find but he say that if it not convenience then he not going to do it so he deny my first favor. I was hurt because I am trying to move on from liking him and as a friend of over a decade he just refused the offer which made me very sad because as a friend who is always there for him, watch out for him and this is what I received back from him as a friend. After the celebration at the park, when we left the park, he asked me if I wanted the glow in the dark bling bling light stick, so I said yes but then he said no. I was so confused, he said it in a way that he wanted to offer to buy it for me but he then said no. Then he and I walked to our car in the parking lot, I parked a little bit far from the entrance and  he found parking that was near the entrance. I asked him if he could give me a ride to my car because it looked so dark and he said no. then he left as I was trying to find my car because I  don't remember where I parked in the parking lot, i remember before this we had a friendsgiving at a friend house and I was ignoring him while I was meeting and talking to his other guys friends, when we left the friendsgiving, he was also trying to offer me to bring home some of his  food too but suddenly this week he became mean and not caring, i thought he left the park because he want to go home and rest because his house is far away and maybe he was tired. 


My question was, is he being mean so suddenly because he knows I liked him so he kept his distance? Is this a way to politely reject a girl so I can move on by him being mean? Or did I do something wrong? I don't want him to know that I like him so I try to act like I don't care and try to introduce him to girls in conversation just so it is not suspicious. But from a friend's perspective I felt that he wasn't treating me as I deserved to be treated. So now i am trying to move on because it seems like I was wasting my time liking him again and now not only that but our friendship too. Any idea or advice

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23 hours ago, melody2016wrapz said:

 

Hello I want to ask for some opinions and advice on a situation that I can't seem to figure out myself. 


So a little background story: I have a close group of friends, most of us are girls and one guy. I have  been good friends with my guy friend for over a decade, I would say he is close but not close enough because we haven't hung out alone over the past decade and most of us just know him on the surface level because he is closed up and never shared anything personal when hanging out as a group. He has a history with my girl best friend in the group, but they never dated each other or did anything more than a friend. They both have mutual feelings for each other and he hurts her feelings by just wanting to stay friends. It takes a while because she is the one that confesses her feelings to him. Then another friend of ours (a girl) came along and did the same thing similar to my bestie on him, they both have mutual feelings but then she left for another man before he figured out he has feelings for her. They never dated or did anything that exceeded their friendship.  After all of that happened, we were still friends with him and he stuck around longer than most of our other guy friends.

 

Now this is the  story. I started to develop feelings for him like the last 5 years but it is on and off because I thought that he was the only single guy in the group and he is convenient so that is why I like him because I am also single and so my group of girls. As I say it was an on and off feeling for me because I try not to like him. I considered his feelings and my other friends feelings too even though she said she doesn't like him anymore. So within that 5 years, I liked him and then I told myself not to, then I moved on and had other crushes and dated other guys thithin those years. This year it suddenly hit me again and my feelings for him became stronger and stronger. One of my girlfriends told me to go hangout alone with him to see how it was and really figure out my feelings. I did ask him to hangout as she set us up, the first time was awkward like I said even though we have been friends for 10 years we never hangout one on one before. So we hangout like 2 times alone, and he opens up a little to me, I know a little more about him. Then I continued to ask him to hangout but with less friends around. Then as we hangout I am really not sure about my feelings for him because he sometimes would be hot and cold with me. When we hang out with fewer friends, it seems like I am invisible, he only talks to our other girl friend. I felt left out like he hated me or something. I would sometimes message him and give him like a few pick up lines to see how he reacts (he laughs at it though). But recently I started working full time and it is busy at work so when I texted him he would reply fast but i reply to him late due to work, then recently he doesn't seem to want to reply as much. He says that work has also been busy for him and all he wants to do after work is to sleep. 


I have never asked him for any favor or even asked him to help me on stuff because it seems like he would be willing to help our other friends (most of them are girls) which they asked him for many favors before so I just think it's typical of him. Before he was nice but just recently the typical me wants to keep distance and stay away from him because I don't want my feelings to get hurt like the past 5 years I did to myself, self sabotaging. So I kind of ignore him and rely on distance myself and not pay attention or keep eye contact.  When we went to celebrate our 10 years of friendship recently, I was asking him to pick me up because the place we are going to go with our group of friends is a big park and parking would be hard to find but he say that if it not convenience then he not going to do it so he deny my first favor. I was hurt because I am trying to move on from liking him and as a friend of over a decade he just refused the offer which made me very sad because as a friend who is always there for him, watch out for him and this is what I received back from him as a friend. After the celebration at the park, when we left the park, he asked me if I wanted the glow in the dark bling bling light stick, so I said yes but then he said no. I was so confused, he said it in a way that he wanted to offer to buy it for me but he then said no. Then he and I walked to our car in the parking lot, I parked a little bit far from the entrance and  he found parking that was near the entrance. I asked him if he could give me a ride to my car because it looked so dark and he said no. then he left as I was trying to find my car because I  don't remember where I parked in the parking lot, i remember before this we had a friendsgiving at a friend house and I was ignoring him while I was meeting and talking to his other guys friends, when we left the friendsgiving, he was also trying to offer me to bring home some of his  food too but suddenly this week he became mean and not caring, i thought he left the park because he want to go home and rest because his house is far away and maybe he was tired. 


My question was, is he being mean so suddenly because he knows I liked him so he kept his distance? Is this a way to politely reject a girl so I can move on by him being mean? Or did I do something wrong? I don't want him to know that I like him so I try to act like I don't care and try to introduce him to girls in conversation just so it is not suspicious. But from a friend's perspective I felt that he wasn't treating me as I deserved to be treated. So now i am trying to move on because it seems like I was wasting my time liking him again and now not only that but our friendship too. Any idea or advice

 

1. I am sorry to say this. But it sounds suspicious for me:

- 10 years dates nobody

-  hang out with a group of girls like you and your friend. Usually only gay will do that. Guy will only hangout with guys. They will do guys activities like sports or riding bikes or motorcycles or cars group. If a guy being comfortable to sit with a group of girls and enjoying gossips and shopping with girls then his sexual orientation should be questioned. 

 

2. Because of I see it in this way, I advice you to find somebody new.  And forget him <3 

 

3. Before start a relationship, please do this question to yourself:

- what do you want from this relationship. Do you want to be married or not. 

If you want a serious relationship, I think you can be very selective to date ^_* 

 

 

Edited by Gumiho
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On 12/7/2021 at 2:23 PM, Gumiho said:

 

1. I am sorry to say this. But it sounds suspicious for me:

- 10 years dates nobody

-  hang out with a group of girls like you and your friend. Usually only gay will do that. Guy will only hangout with guys. They will do guys activities like sports or riding bikes or motorcycles or cars group. If a guy being comfortable to sit with a group of girls and enjoying gossips and shopping with girls then his sexual orientation should be questioned. 

 

2. Because of I see it in this way, I advice you to find somebody new.  And forget him <3 

 

3. Before start a relationship, please do this question to yourself:

- what do you want from this relationship. Do you want to be married or not. 

If you want a serious relationship, I think you can be very selective to date ^_* 

 

 

Thank you for your advices. And you are right, moving on and forget him would be a good option. I got a closure from him, even though i didn’t directly asked him, my friend did asked him for me. He only sees me as a friend and nothing else. He even told her he is fine with what and where he is now and that he will start looking for a gf next year. I guess that is a good thing, at least now I get a closure so I don’t have to imagine stuff that will never happen. I guess from the beginning it was just me imagining things because I liked him and I thought there are hope. Now everything has come to an end and I am not going to be sad about it because I know that I deserve better. I guess that is why people say “crush” for a reason because at the end the person who has a crush was really being crushed!

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On 12/14/2021 at 12:31 PM, melody2016wrapz said:

Thank you for your advices. And you are right, moving on and forget him would be a good option. I got a closure from him, even though i didn’t directly asked him, my friend did asked him for me. He only sees me as a friend and nothing else. He even told her he is fine with what and where he is now and that he will start looking for a gf next year. I guess that is a good thing, at least now I get a closure so I don’t have to imagine stuff that will never happen. I guess from the beginning it was just me imagining things because I liked him and I thought there are hope. Now everything has come to an end and I am not going to be sad about it because I know that I deserve better. I guess that is why people say “crush” for a reason because at the end the person who has a crush was really being crushed!

 

 

That is good! Hugs! :happydance:

 

I am editing my answer to you, melody dear <3 

 

I re read your post and my opinion do not change. 

 

He is right that his feelings for you is just a friend because of he acts like that. 

 

If you want a serious relationship, I hope you can be very selective to choose. Falling in love is a very easy matter in this world. As easy as if we catch a cold. Hahaha. Seriously. It is very easy for our eyes to be attracted to a guy and falls for him. But to keep the relationship for a very long long time, we need a good guy that is serious, and honest, with good manners and sincere to us and want to keep the relationship no matter what. In short every girl need a gentleman :kiss_wink:

 

 A complicated guy like your friend who give you mix signal, I see it from your writing, from my POV is not a someone who you can keep for a serious relationship. Just in the beginning he already treated you like this. How if you must to face a hard and difficult obstacles in life? Can he be your support system? I don’t think he can. I am afraid if he instead will only add problems to you. 

 

So if he says you only a friend then just believe it. He is right for this.

 

And no you are not being crushed. Just go to salon and give your body the best treatment to make you prettier and happier. You deserve it. Be pretty and you will be ready to meet another good guy ^_*

 

Don’t worry, you will find another someone. Always pray and enjoying life :heart:

 

PS. I am sorry that only now I can give you my best answer because of my answer to people usually according to my mood hahahaha. Hugs! :dontwanna:

Edited by Gumiho
I just want to
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/13/2021 at 9:46 PM, Gumiho said:

 

 

That is good! Hugs! :happydance:

 

I am editing my answer to you, melody dear <3 

 

I re read your post and my opinion do not change. 

 

He is right that his feelings for you is just a friend because of he acts like that. 

 

If you want a serious relationship, I hope you can be very selective to choose. Falling in love is a very easy matter in this world. As easy as if we catch a cold. Hahaha. Seriously. It is very easy for our eyes to be attracted to a guy and falls for him. But to keep the relationship for a very long long time, we need a good guy that is serious, and honest, with good manners and sincere to us and want to keep the relationship no matter what. In short every girl need a gentleman :kiss_wink:

 

 A complicated guy like your friend who give you mix signal, I see it from your writing, from my POV is not a someone who you can keep for a serious relationship. Just in the beginning he already treated you like this. How if you must to face a hard and difficult obstacles in life? Can he be your support system? I don’t think he can. I am afraid if he instead will only add problems to you. 

 

So if he says you only a friend then just believe it. He is right for this.

 

And no you are not being crushed. Just go to salon and give your body the best treatment to make you prettier and happier. You deserve it. Be pretty and you will be ready to meet another good guy ^_*

 

Don’t worry, you will find another someone. Always pray and enjoying life :heart:

 

PS. I am sorry that only now I can give you my best answer because of my answer to people usually according to my mood hahahaha. Hugs! :dontwanna:

 

Thank you so much for your advice and thoughts. Even though we don’t know each other but I feel that you are a strong and caring person. I appreciate your thoughts and words of advice and I do believe that what you said are truth. We as woman deserve someone who can be with us and treat us the way we wanted to be treated as. Everybody deserve someone like that. And I believe you that he will add more problems to me even my close friend told me that. She said that if both of us were to be together based on our personality we will crash and it will not work out. And I think to myself that it is okay to have a crush there is nothing wrong about it. This is the good time to let it go and start brand new when the new year come. I am trying to process my feelings and treat myself better instead of being sad because at the end of the day he will just be a friend and nothing more. 
 

Thank you so much Gumiho,

I wish you the best and have a happy holidays. :approves:
 

 

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23 hours ago, melody2016wrapz said:

 

Thank you so much for your advice and thoughts. Even though we don’t know each other but I feel that you are a strong and caring person. I appreciate your thoughts and words of advice and I do believe that what you said are truth. We as woman deserve someone who can be with us and treat us the way we wanted to be treated as. Everybody deserve someone like that. And I believe you that he will add more problems to me even my close friend told me that. She said that if both of us were to be together based on our personality we will crash and it will not work out. And I think to myself that it is okay to have a crush there is nothing wrong about it. This is the good time to let it go and start brand new when the new year come. I am trying to process my feelings and treat myself better instead of being sad because at the end of the day he will just be a friend and nothing more. 
 

Thank you so much Gumiho,

I wish you the best and have a happy holidays. 
 

 

 

You are welcome melody dear. Have a happy holidays too! :transforms:

 

I don’t know if I am strong. I am more like; independent but still want to be spoiled = indespoiled HUa ha ha ha ha :lol: thank you for saying that I am caring :relaxed: 

 

btw I don’t believe in personality charts. (My husband and I personalities are like heaven and earth. Of course I am from heaven HAHAHAHA) :joy:

I believe in “let us work very hard together to make this thingy work.” I wish you will find someone who wants to work very hard together with you for your shining shimmering splendid future together ^_* 

 

It is okay to have some crush so true. Like me. My crush such are: song joong ki, lee jong suk, jung il woo, lee junho, hyun bin, and more :heart:

 

let it go things will not happened. Mother theressa said, love hurts but keep love until it does not hurt anymore. Embrace your feelings <3

 

It’s nice to talk with you in here, darlin ^_*

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I come here again asking for advice with the hopes that someone will please hear me out. 

 

There's a girl I've only known for 2 days. We basically met at a hospital as patients. I'd say I kind of clicked with her pretty well. She liked the same movies as me, and also was interested in asian culture (she's Italian). We often played board games together and sometimes cards with the staff. Unfortunately, she ended up leaving early, so on the day of departure she came up to me and our conversation went like this:

 

"Hey I'm leaving, nice to see you"

Me: Yeah nice seeing you too, I'm going to miss ya. Keep in touch

"Do you have discord?" 

Me: no but do you have a number? 

"Here wait write down your number. I'll text ya when I get back home"

Me: okay sure. Take care! good luck with everything

 

6 days counting and no text. What happened? Is it possible that she intentionally didn't want to give me her number? Would it have been too presumptuous of me to ask again for it? Can somebody please analyze what happened because my mind is ruminating everywhere. 

 

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@ra123

Not much information to go with here, but apparently she was the one who asked for your contact information first. I would assume she wouldn't have asked for it if she didn't want to contact you.

 

Is it possible that she lost your number? Maybe she wrote it on a piece of paper and lost it?

Or maybe she's busy right now as it's the Christmas season? She might have traveled to visit family?

Or maybe she's not feeling well (since she was in the hospital)?

 

I assume you have no way of contacting her now since you didn't get her number? :(

 

In my opinion, as she was the one who asked for your Discord info first, it would have been totally fine for you to ask for her phone number and contact her a few days later. :glasses:

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I talked from heart to heart with one of my bff yesterday. She is 25, pisces and having a boyfriend, 35, gemini.

 

They have been dating for 4 years. They have met at the church 4 years ago when her bf was a evangelical in her hometown. And they have been dating since that time. Backstreet. 

 

After that my bff got a job in my city at our office and her boyfriend follows her to here. 

 

The problem is my friend’s parents. They are welcoming the bf but just as a friend and not for a future husband. Because of their cultures and tradition. Her mom wants her to married a man from the same tribe like them. I asked her, do they parents this strength and difficult? And she said yes they do. Her big bro has not married yet until today because of this. He has been dating his chinese gf for 17 years. 17 years!! :scream: If married they will already have at least 10 children! LOL

 

I asked my bff and she said it is clearly there is no hope for her and her bf. And she already said to her bf that if he wants to leave her, he can. I asked her why it is not you who break up with him? And she said she could not bear it. She does not want to feel the guilty. Oh ya I also asked her from scale 0 - 100 in what scale you do love him? And she said 100. See. She is a true pisces. Lol. 

 

Very complicated. Her bf gives an ultimatum to her, if her parents could not accepting him, he will be leaving her on December 2022. 

 

She and I are very close and I don’t know how we become friends and feels like sisters since 2020. Perhaps because of she is living alone in this city and far away from her parents. Also we both are having a same taste for kdramas. Hahahaha. 

 

She is very kind and very soft and always support me. She said I am a fun person and she likes to talk to me and to be near to me hahaha.  After being friends for almost 2 years, finally yesterday she tells the story of her and her bf. I know that they are dating but I did not know before that they are having a serious problem in their relationship. 

 

She even cried when she tolds me her conversations with her mom. How her mom cried and she cried too. Her story touching me. I have never meet anyone who is very serious with her feelings like her and also have a heavy problem like this. I feel like I want to help her but I don’t know how. And because of this she has never go to her hometown since being accepted as our employee.

 

If I was her and mom does not want me to married someone then I will immediately leave that guy no matter how deep I feel for him. But this girl is very soft than me but also very stubborn HAHAHAHAHAHA.. 

 

she tells me, she can married anyone her mom wants her to be married to. But the problem is the feelings. She wants feelings. As same as whenever we watch kdramas hahaha. If she dropped a drama and I asked her why? She said feelings. She can not feel it. 

 

Seriously this is the first time I meet someone who is very sensitive like this. I mean someone who always wants feelings lol. She does not even care if that bf is not.. rich. She said to me he is already rich in heaven. And I said to her, Jj, you would not buy formula milks with your feelings. Lol and she laughed very loud. 

 

Sometimes I feel that she is not realistic. She has a shining shimmering splendid future even without that bf. But yah.. she said she wants feelings and I could not argue her anymore. But also I respect the way she feels to her bf. 

 

Anyone can share solutions for my bff? 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have an interesting question for women. Do you think a man's porn addiction can affect your actual sex? Could it be that such men may have very strange fetishes that are difficult to put into reality? I have learned that the porn addiction problem has affected many families and young couples.  What do you think about this and have you encountered such men?

Edited by Andiano Cless
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I am more interested to a man who addicted to work and earn more money than a man who addicted to porn. I am a capitalists. Man who spent his time to earn more and more is sexier than a man who spent their time on the internet and do useless things <3 

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