Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[wneul11]

I just don't understand guys at all so I can't give a good answer to any of these questions. lol 

[JuneBeautique]

On 3/5/2016 at 2:17 PM, Vukasin Cekic said:

I'm new to ''Soompi'' but I got only 1 question for you girls...
There's a girl that I like a lot, the words will never cover that ''lot'', she was with another guy for a month and he broke up with her even tho something didn't feel right about their break up I met up with her on Wednesday we talked, not much, she told me that she hates him, that he's an richard simmons, can't even find more horrible words than this ''richard simmons''. I told her how I felt even tho there were like 4 girls I actually liked up till now, her included. Nothing happened cause she wanted to met up with her girl friends to talk about me I guess from what the phone call was about, she didn't really hid while talking on it or anything, she is really open as well. Next evening we all met up with 2 of my male friends and 1 of her female friend from the group. After an hour of talking and listening to the music I kissed her, second after that she kissed me like 2 times after that. After I had walked her home she kissed me directly once more even tho I was expecting it to be on the chick. Next day, she writes a message to me: ''Sorry I'm not ready for another relationship yet, I still love him and all that...'' word by word translation exception is his name.
What I would like to get as a reply is the whole clarification of this mess if not the tell me why can she say all those things about him and still love him and on top of that why would she kiss me if she still loves him ?

Thank you all in advance!

EDIT: Our mutual friend told me that she wanted to be with me and both evenings she kept saying that I'm a ''very very nice guy''... :'(

I am sorry for the vulgar words, but I'm literally going crazy...

// MOD EDIT: if you know it's vulgar, why use it? I've removed the vulgar words 

 

She's not completely over her ex or is ready to take on a new relationship so give her some time. She was vulnerable and you were there to comfort her which is why she kissed you back. She doesn't want you to be a rebound which is why she apologized. She probably does like you (as her friend have mentioned) so keep on being a nice guy that you are. Just continue to talk to her and be there for her until she's ready. 

[JuneBeautique]

On 4/23/2016 at 10:05 AM, loveafteurpain said:

Ladies i need your take on this. I met this girl in my senior year of high school, she was a freshman. I approached her and asked if she had a boyfriend, she said yea, so i just went about my business and we just became friends. But she broke up with him, but i had no idea. Her friends were telling me she likes me but I wasn’t sure. Then she gets another boyfriend not too long after that. On graduation one of her friends gives me a hug and then she comes out of nowhere and was like “No No” and gives me a big hug. I was thinking to myself “hmm she’s jealous”. a year or so fly by I contacted her on social media, she still had a boyfriend. I told her I had a crush on her in high school and i still do. She told me she had a crush on me also when she broke up with her boyfriend, but said she was too shy to tell me and she thought i had a girlfriend, but I didn’t i have a girlfriend. she says she is old fashion and she likes the guy to pursue her, i told her i didn’t want to pursue her because she was in a relationship.

She also told me after i graduated she still thought about me and she would tell her friends how handsome i was and how when i used to come and talk to her she will get chills in her body, and when i graduated she said she wondered if i left town, or got married or had a baby. I’m thinking to myself why is she concerned about my life in this way while she is in a relationship? I was telling her that I was leaving the city because i felt my life was bigger than what it was. And she told she wanted me stay. But i can’t wait for her to break up with her boyfriend, so i was still dating girls, but still had her on my mind.

sometime later, I found out my best friend was going out with her. I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend and he didn’t tell me about it because he thought I didn’t still have feelings for her, then I found out they had sex. He told me he just was sexually attracted to her, he didn’t want anything serious like i did. I asked her about this and she said “your friend asked me out more and approached me more and i figured you lost interest, and i thought you had a girlfriend” I told her I didn’t have a girlfriend and the reason why I didn’t approach her is because I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend, and thats not my fault for not knowing. Then she says “I’m sorry but i can’t go out with you, but you never know what will happen in the future so don’t give up hope too fast.”

I couldn’t believe she said that and knowing she had sex with my best friend. It felt like she wanted me to chase her throughout her whole life. I didn’t talk to her for about 2 months then i seen her at a hotel, we talked, we left on good terms, exchanged phone numbers we talked on the phone and texted. All of sudden she stops responding to my text, ignores my phone calls, ignore a message i sent to her on facebook, but I found out why. She was in relationship with someone!! I would have respected her more if She have just told me that instead.

I was in horrible state of mind, She led me on, all the things she said were not lining up to her actions, i was done with her and I cut off all contact with her. Later down the line, she followed me on twitter and now she’s married with 2 kids. then she followed me on my other twitter page, but she didn’t say anything which i thought was weird.

Do you think she’s trying to check up on me to see what i been doing in slick way? oh yea she unfriended my best friend on facebook, but she didn’t unfriend me. Its just looks she trying to keep me in her life. Ladies what do yall think?

 

STAY AWAY FROM HER! She's selfish, greedy, and is a liar. She was in a relationship and she "flirted" with you. That's a red flag right there. This whole thing is full of red flags. It's best you stay away from her because if you get together with her, chances are that your relationship isn't going to last. She's leading you & I'm sure she did that with all the guys she's dated.

Unfriend her and delete her from your contact, even if she wants to keep you in her life. Don't waste your time! You deserve someone better.

 

[MissAria]

I'm not a guy. I want to know ladies... How do you deal with the insecurity that your boyfriend is meeting other girls... just as friends...
? Do you not feel insecure because you totally trust him?

I got into a relationship. I fell in love too quickly. Love hurts.

[nn_nn]

On 9/2/2016 at 11:24 AM, MissAria said:

I'm not a guy. I want to know ladies... How do you deal with the insecurity that your boyfriend is meeting other girls... just as friends...
? Do you not feel insecure because you totally trust him?

I got into a relationship. I fell in love too quickly. Love hurts.

How long is the relationship? Have you voice out your opinion or how you feel about him hanging around his female friends? Have you asked him about his relationship with them? (how they know each other, for how long, etc) Have you met them? Is he hanging out with just the 2 of them or with the group? Have you ever tag along to their hangout?

Relationship is all about trust, but I feel like he has to earn your trust. How about sitting down and express how you feel about this! and ask him how he feel after knowing about this? 

[MissAria]

On 7/2/2017 at 3:15 AM, nn_nn said:

How long is the relationship? Have you voice out your opinion or how you feel about him hanging around his female friends? Have you asked him about his relationship with them? (how they know each other, for how long, etc) Have you met them? Is he hanging out with just the 2 of them or with the group? Have you ever tag along to their hangout?

Relationship is all about trust, but I feel like he has to earn your trust. How about sitting down and express how you feel about this! and ask him how he feel after knowing about this? 

I posted that a long time ago  hehehe in February. Back then, I was very insecure. Now, my trust is better. My boyfriend and I talked about it. 

[hazeee]

Okay ladies, I have some questions i hope you can help me out I'm kinda confused

So I've been talking to this girl within my circle of friends over the internet and we've been getting closer recently.  Lately I've noticed out of the corner of my eye she glances at me when I'm not looking, or when something is funny and we're in a group of friends she laughs and looks over at me.  

I'm not really sure what this means if anything?  She knows I have a girlfriend in our circle of friends, so is this behaviour just a personality thing?

[hopelessromantic7]

I have a question about this girl i am interested in.

So i have been going on dates with this girl, and i started getting feelings for her. We talk alot and have been seeing eachother weekly. So yesterday i went to the movies with her and we started holding hands and i held her, then after when i was driving her back home i asked her if she was for a relationship. She replied saying since her mother didn't let her have some freedom she went from boyfriend to boyfriend and just got out of a relationship 8 months ago and now she wants to see what's out there(she told me she has been going on a few dates while seeing me). We had a good talk about it and then when i parked we kept talking and then we got out of the car and she hugged me really tight and then we talked a little more and I told her she makes me feel like i am on fire. And so we eneded up hugging 3 times for quite a long time and she buried her head in my chest for the last one. Then as we were walking to our cars she hugged me from behind and then kissed my back. 

We are going out to dinner soon and i have asked her out to a walk on the beach after and she said "Yes! I am up for almost anything. Lets plan for next week." 

And we both will start up a conversation, and she'll say goodnight and stuff if we haven't talked for hours.

So i guess i feel kind of confused with the holding hands and hugging like that as i am kind of old school and only do that for people I like and have been dating. Also want to know if she does that stuff with the other guys she's seeing and it just isn't that special haha

 

[*.:AnGeL*BAbII:.*]

On 8/19/2017 at 5:40 AM, hopelessromantic7 said:

I have a question about this girl i am interested in.

So i have been going on dates with this girl, and i started getting feelings for her. We talk alot and have been seeing eachother weekly. So yesterday i went to the movies with her and we started holding hands and i held her, then after when i was driving her back home i asked her if she was for a relationship. She replied saying since her mother didn't let her have some freedom she went from boyfriend to boyfriend and just got out of a relationship 8 months ago and now she wants to see what's out there(she told me she has been going on a few dates while seeing me). We had a good talk about it and then when i parked we kept talking and then we got out of the car and she hugged me really tight and then we talked a little more and I told her she makes me feel like i am on fire. And so we eneded up hugging 3 times for quite a long time and she buried her head in my chest for the last one. Then as we were walking to our cars she hugged me from behind and then kissed my back. 

We are going out to dinner soon and i have asked her out to a walk on the beach after and she said "Yes! I am up for almost anything. Lets plan for next week." 

And we both will start up a conversation, and she'll say goodnight and stuff if we haven't talked for hours.

So i guess i feel kind of confused with the holding hands and hugging like that as i am kind of old school and only do that for people I like and have been dating. Also want to know if she does that stuff with the other guys she's seeing and it just isn't that special haha

 

It's difficult for us to tell whether this girl does those things with other guys as we do not know what she is like and everyone has different habits. However, as she has told you she gone on dates with others, I would not write it off that she does that stuff with other guys. Although, on the other hand, you could be special. So don't be disappointed.

 

As she has straight up told you, she is not ready for a relationship and that she still wants to see what's out there, she does not seem to commit to you YET. So I would not read into her hugging/holding hands too much. You can always be patient and wait it out for a bit more before asking her again (as that is probably the only way to truly know her feelings). Can't pressure her too much/rush her with a final decision but you also don't want to waste too much time giving her company and restricting yourself from other choices.

 

She could genuinely be considering you but she could also be just be a fan of your attention. Ganbatte!

[CamelKnight]

@sejabin I love how active you are and your quotes of messages over 10 years old but if you do quote several messages, try to quote them in a single post.

I've merged your posts so it doesn't look like you're hogging this thread  

[karaalexis]

On 7/27/2016 at 8:18 PM, orangeboy2694 said:

What are some reasons why a girl will talk to you in person, but ignore your messages. Its like she would not answer my message, but the next day they will talk to you like nothing happened. 

There's various reasons why. Maybe she's busy? or maybe she's just not the type of person to go on social media all the time. I'm kinda like this.. i always tell people, i'm not ignoring you. i just forget to reply or i have no time to reply..

[CamelKnight]

On 6/24/2018 at 4:37 AM, karaalexis said:

 i always tell people, i'm not ignoring you. i just forget to reply or i have no time to reply..

95% of all women could learn a thing or two from you  

[possumgod]

I am contemplating a LDR, but I am not certain I am being offered one.  Our communication is hampered by her English and my Korean.  We have been getting by with translation apps and my business interpreter. Lately there has been a lot of flirting and recently she has started asking to “play with me” next time I am in Korea.  I am not sure what she means by this, and I am uncomfortable asking my staff.  We are both executives, middle aged, so I am not concerned about status.  I just don’t want to assume based on my cultural perceptions that she is asking to date. Is there any special meaning to her use of this phrase?

Edited August 25, 2018 by possumgod

[CamelKnight]

On 8/25/2018 at 6:53 PM, possumgod said:

I am contemplating a LDR, but I am not certain I am being offered one.  Our communication is hampered by her English and my Korean.  We have been getting by with translation apps and my business interpreter. Lately there has been a lot of flirting and recently she has started asking to “play with me” next time I am in Korea.  I am not sure what she means by this, and I am uncomfortable asking my staff.  We are both executives, middle aged, so I am not concerned about status.  I just don’t want to assume based on my cultural perceptions that she is asking to date. Is there any special meaning to her use of this phrase?

The language barrier is making this difficult and what @Sejabin hadn't noticed yet is that you don't live near so kissing her is kinda difficult.

In these cases it's easiest to just ask what she means. You'll never know, or misinterpret her words and their meaning, if you don't get some clarity. So ask, what does she mean? You both are aware of the language barrier so it's easy to understand that's where things are lost.

[possumgod]

On ‎8‎/‎27‎/‎2018 at 5:05 AM, CamelKnight said:

The language barrier is making this difficult and what @Sejabin hadn't noticed yet is that you don't live near so kissing her is kinda difficult.

In these cases it's easiest to just ask what she means. You'll never know, or misinterpret her words and their meaning, if you don't get some clarity. So ask, what does she mean? You both are aware of the language barrier so it's easy to understand that's where things are lost.

Thanks for the advice, yes it was a communication issue and we cleared it up.

[GiaGia]

What do you girls do or talk to a guy about before meeting him in person? 

[GiaGia]

3 hours ago, Sejabin said:

 

is this when we have never met that guy in real? like talk in chat? online?

mmm.. anything that not too private. any fun things (in my case xixixixi)

yeah like just chatting 

[Guest]

On 8/26/2018 at 6:42 AM, Sejabin said:

if you like her just kiss her if she wants to go to base 3 then you will know naturally when you kiss her. simple. don't forget to use contraception.

 

 PG.. PG..

** flies off quickly **

[anxietyaf77]

short question! if a girl i like bites me is there a good chance where she is kind of attracted to me?

[buncakes]

On 9/9/2018 at 2:45 PM, anxietyaf77 said:

short question! if a girl i like bites me is there a good chance where she is kind of attracted to me?

She feels comfortable around you and thinks you're a decent looking guy.