Add and Subtract Game

[MayanEcho]

Humid Tuesdays made better by popsicles.

 

ctto

 

Oh hey, @4evrkdrama! How are you?

 

The last drama I watched was the very heart-warming Hidden Love. For now I'm clearing some things so that I can finally binge watch to my heart's content. I do try to see some trailers or BTS of dramas I'm hopeful to binge watch soon.

 

Trusty manhuas/manhwas/mangas/novels ease the boredom or soothe when I'm feeling restless. The past weeks were quite rough for me...argh, I'm really so over it! Sigh.

 

-2

[partyon]

8 hours ago, rocat said:

Anyone watching Moving? 

 

No but am thinking of checking it out. My favorite deranged oppa Jo In Sung stars in it.

 

4 hours ago, 4evrkdrama said:

FFing heartbeat and each eps barely last 10 mins for me

 

Dongsaeng, for me it's barely 5 mins.... Gotta check out the last episode today like this:

 

 

@Learry chingu, did you already watch it?

 

4 hours ago, 4evrkdrama said:

Cant lie - their chemistry is irresistable though he is a cardboard oppa

 

@rocat I really tried. I gave it all for @sadthe1st's Yul idol oppa, but can't continue.

Dropped it.

 

@rocher22 @joccu Started on The Jungle ep 8. Didn't FF as much as ep 7.

 

@MayanEcho chingu:

 

Fighting!

 

656

[MayanEcho]

17 minutes ago, partyon said:

Fighting

 

Gracias! Cousins and I did what we can do!

 

ctto

 

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[joccu]

@4evrkdrama    
 

i’ m watching couple k-dramas:

not others( start was really good but now I found the mom annoying.)

elegant empire(daily) and the killing vote( still not sure if I will finish this) 

 

lakorn:

 

the jungle(using lot of FF)

 

waiting for dangerous romance to start.  It is Thai BL. 
 

652

 

 

 

[partyon]

@joccu Ep 8 of The Jungle was pretty barf. Looks like ep 9 will be barfier.

 

 

Off to FF the last 2 episodes of Heartbeat.

 

654

[MayanEcho]

ctto

 

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[joccu]

@partyon  yeaah the latest episode was really Barf but like you said the next episode look seriously Barf. 

 

650

[sweetroad]

13 hours ago, partyon said:

I haven’t even watched it once despite Kwakkie’s cameo. Not a fan of the lead actors tbh.

 

I know, chingu. You've mentioned that before. Tbh I love the chemistry between Kim Soo Hyun and Seo Yea Ji. They both do a good job with some difficult characters. She is completely unlikeable for like half the show. Oh Jung Se does an amazing job playing an adult with autism. He alone is worth watching! And we just watched Kwakkie's episodes yesterday - he is so unhinged and manic and steals the show.

 

4 hours ago, rocat said:

Soundtrack - love the pairing too but I just started on ep 1 and it looks like I’ll not continue 

 

I really tried with this one. Made it to ep 3 or so but it was so snooze. But Park Hyung Sik is still a cutie.

 

 

652

[Learry]

 

 

 

4 hours ago, partyon said:

 

@Learry chingu, did you already watch it?

 

@partyonchingu  i did FF watched 15 ep. last night (but for the last episode not yet)

me like

 

+2

[4evrkdrama]

11 hours ago, MayanEcho said:

Oh hey, @4evrkdrama! How are you?

 

As good as I can be sis,

How you doing ?

 

11 hours ago, MayanEcho said:

The past weeks were quite rough for me...argh, I'm really so over it! Sigh.

 

-2

You've got this, hang in there 

10 hours ago, joccu said:

@4evrkdrama    

 

 

 

 

10 hours ago, joccu said:

 

i’ m watching couple k-dramas:

not others( start was really good but now I found the mom annoying.)

 

elegant empire(daily) and the killing vote( still not sure if I will finish this) 

 

lakorn:

 

the jungle(using lot of FF)

 

waiting for dangerous romance to start.  It is Thai BL. 

 

Me too sis @joccu am not liking the mom, just watching it to Park Sung Hoon and Sooyoung but with lots of FFing 

 

Off to watch Killing vote 

 

Eonni @partyon me too is watching The Cold blooded intern, seems interesting. I love Ra Miran

 

 

652

 

 

[partyon]

10 hours ago, sweetroad said:

I really tried with this one. Made it to ep 3 or so but it was so snooze. But Park Hyung Sik is still a cutie.

You have started dropping dramas, I see…  

 

@4evrkdrama Am good, thanks! My fellow EOs are so busy though.

 

Will only watch the last episode of Not Others. What started off as a quirky show ended up being a snooze fest with the mom being too much. Also, Park Sung Hoon has been barely featured from ep 4 ->
 

Am loving Cold Blooded Intern though!

 

And soon Oppa’s drama premieres! Yay!

 

654

[Sleepy Owl]

Hey there Chingus!

 

 

 

On 7/26/2023 at 4:44 PM, joccu said:

@Sleepy Owl  have you seen fever pitch?   
 

 

 

Not really Chingu, but since you have mentioned it, I will make sure to check it out 

On 7/27/2023 at 11:15 PM, kokodus said:

Believe it or not. I tried tinder and also bumble. Both were waste of time. 

 

I guess it's the stress?! I don't know. People are just losing hair for no reason. 

Sadly living together is not an option for me. I told my parents that I will need atleast 6 months before I say ok to a guy. But they were like 'we'll give you 10 days'. It's hard. I feel like I'm trapped here. Like it's so suffocating when I think about spending my life with someone who I barely know. 

 

 

I just think your parents are/were (since I am replying so late) panicking a bit. Sadly there is a thing called "Marriage Age" in India, and once you are in mid 20s (or even early 20s for some), you enter that age range.

 

And the older you get, you move towards the "too old to marry" age. Also again, sadly this is more for the girls than the guys, and so, I have first hand seen parents panicking with the marriage thing once their daughters enter the mid 20s. 

 

I would just say that you stand your ground and say that you need enough time to understand the guy. I think if you stand your ground, and at the same logically explain why you need that time (honestly I would want more time ), then I believe your parents will understand you and agree to it 

 

On 7/27/2023 at 11:25 PM, partyon said:

 

@Sleepy Owl dongsaeng will be a perfect match for you then since he's living closer to you!

 

Dongsaeng is educated, has a good job, is used to women, likes kdramas, knows the names of your k-oppas. But most importantly, likes to tease you and bicker with you.

 

EDIT:  @LeftCoastOppa dongsaeng is also a great match with Ms. Koko and ticks all the same boxes as @Sleepy Owl. Only thing is that one of you likes coffee and the other one tea, but again some differences are to be expected. Biggest hurdle would be the different continents...  Aigoo.

 

Noona, I am very happy living my life as a single for now 

 

 

On 7/30/2023 at 1:54 PM, partyon said:

 

Hmm... I should probably give it another try then. I know a lot of people have praised this drama. @Sleepy Owl dongsaeng too.

 

 

Replying literally like 17 days later, and I have no idea which drama is being talked about 

 

 

 

On 7/30/2023 at 4:50 PM, partyon said:

Meanwhile me and @Sleepy Owl dongsaeng waiting for the writer of Que Sera, Sera and Children of Nobody to come out with a new drama.

 

 

If there is someone who is looking for the best Korean psychological thriller (along with Signal), please watch Children of Nobody.

 

 

I started "Gap Dong" last night, had heard and read good reviews on it. But I just wonder if it is too early to judge, but I didn't really like the first ep. Still will give its 2nd ep a go. 

 

But yes, Children of Nobody by far would be my most favorite psychological thriller. And Nobody Knows would be my second favorite for the same. 

 

On 7/30/2023 at 7:52 PM, larus said:

 

@Sleepy Owl, I start watching Revenant today. I watched just 2 episodes. I like the drama.

 

I completed the drama yesterday Chingu. For me overall it was a very good horror drama. It wasn't scary, but I liked how they incorporated the folklore and shamanism in the same. 

 

Kim Tae Ri surely knows how to select a good script, and I got to say, she impressed me yet again with her amazing acting. It was just so good to see Oh Jung Se and Kim Tae Ri acting together, the cast list of this drama was very good.

 

But now, whenever someone knocks my door, I have this reaction 

 

 

You never know who it could be behind the door mimicking someone else's voice 

 

On 7/31/2023 at 9:25 PM, partyon said:

 

@Sleepy Owl @Lmangla Just read this article about Yoon Shi Yoon:

 

Yoon Si-yoon attributes success to good-natured roles

 

https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/art/2023/07/398_345284.html

 

He wants to play a charismatic baddie in the future. Omo! Would be so interesting to see!

 

I think he would do a great job acting as a bad guy 

 

 

On 8/3/2023 at 12:59 AM, partyon said:

 

@Sleepy Owl dongsaeng's ultimate noona on fire - LITERALLY

 

 

 

Lol 

 

This is one of her dramas that I am yet to check out 

 

 

On 8/3/2023 at 5:49 PM, joccu said:

@Sleepy Owl  Germany is out. Before these games started I ranked Germany in top 4. Also USA has not played that well. It is interesting to see could England be in the top 2. 

 

South Korea has been haunting both men and women Germany team 

 

 

On 8/5/2023 at 7:43 PM, partyon said:

 

Unfortunately yes. And @agenth and @confusedheart have already put it on their watchlists and will pester @Sleepy Owl dongsaeng and me with their commentary on our EO team chat.

 

 

Just when you thought you over with the trial, they decided to bring out the documentary or whatever it is for the same 

 

 

 

On 8/13/2023 at 3:34 PM, joccu said:

@Sleepy Owl  Chelsea vs Liverpool premier League start. 

 

That was a very good Chingu! Chelsea looked very sharp, and I think Liverpool would be very happy with the single point they ended up getting. Chelsea had a lot more chances to score, and I just hoped they would score that goal in the final seconds. 

 

But I am liking how Pochettino has brought changes in Chelsea. We still have many injuries, but the players look highly motivated and fresh! At the same time, it seems like Chelsea has been doing a lot better in transfers as well.

 

Liverpool had deal in place with Brighton for Caicedo, but he refused the deal saying he only wants to join Chelsea (I still think we overpaid for him, and the real winner of the whole saga was Brighton), and now as per concrete reports, Chelsea also hijacked Liverpool's target Lavia, another midfielder from Southampton. 

 

What are your thoughts over Kane leaving for Bayern? I think Spurs have lost a great striker and leader, but at the same time, I think it was better for them to cash over him, since he could leave for free next year. They got good money, and can use it to strengthen their defense by bringing better defenders. 

 

But I seriously hoped that Kane would stay for another year and break Alan Shearer's most PL goals record. He was so close.

 

 

22 hours ago, 4evrkdrama said:

What dramas are you watching lately @larus @Lmangla @partyon @joccu @Sleepy Owl @confusedheart @Ameera Ali @rocat @sweetroad @MayanEcho ?!

 

 

 

 

Hey there Chingu, I have been watching dramas in the most irregular manner possible lately. Have been super busy with work lately. 

 

I completed Revenant last night. It was a very good drama. I loved it. 

 

I also did complete Heartbeat, and this one on the other hand had a rather disappointing ending for me. While I did FF most of the eps, but I really hoped we would see a good ending in the end. What started as a promising drama, ended not so well. 

 

I am very casually watching Not Others, I FF it, let it run in the background when I doing something else. Not paying much attention to it. The plot seemed interesting to me, but seeing @partyon Noona's comment on it being snooze fest, I might drop it. 

 

I plan to start watching "Uncanny Counter 2". I loved the first season, so hopefully S2 is as good. I am also interested in checking out "Moving" since that drama has got an extremely good cast list. We are seeing Zo In Sung back in dramas after so many years. So yeah, that drama is worth checking out. 

 

I will also start "Killing Vote". Plot seems interesting, and kindly similar to Devil Judge, but I hope it has better execution and plot than that drama. 

 

I have started "Gap Dong" as well. This drama has been in watchlist for years. Didn't really like the first ep, but will continue and see if it gets better. 

 

 

22 hours ago, larus said:

 

Welcome back! 

 

I am watching My Dearest and The First Responders 2. I just finished Reply 1988. I liked it very much. I knew about the drama but I managed to watch it just now.

 

How is First Responders Chingu? I have it in my watchlist as well, but didn't go for when I came to know that they had scheduled a Part 2 for it to be aired some months later. 

 

I am yet to watch any drama from the Reply series 

 

I also do plan to start "My Dearest" Namgoong Min in a Sageuk, I got to check it out. How has it been though? I will be careful watching it, since the era they are going for, there is a higher chance of this drama having a sad ending 

 

+2

[rocat]

Arthdal Chronicles 2 is slated to premier September 9 it seems. Yay!

 

LJK and Shin See-Kyung look good in their character garbs!

 

 

https://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainment/arthdal-chronicles-2-lee-joon-gi-transforms-into-tribe-leader-and-warrior-in-new-stills-for-historical-drama-1236124

 

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[kokodus]

2 hours ago, Sleepy Owl said:

 

I would just say that you stand your ground and say that you need enough time to understand the guy.

Yeah...the situation now is like the guys doesn't want to talk. Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates. Last week I met one guy, we talked for about an hour, when it was time to go, he asked me what my decision was, I told him I need more time, and asked him if we can text. But he hesitated, and said their parents might not allow. I had a good impression of him up until that moment. Sighhh. Maybe he didn't like me. He could've said that straightaway, but he gave me his insta id later and said we can text here. I dont know how to comprehend this behavior. 

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[MayanEcho]

52 minutes ago, kokodus said:

Yeah...the situation now is like the guys doesn't want to talk. Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates. Last week I met one guy, we talked for about an hour, when it was time to go, he asked me what my decision was, I told him I need more time, and asked him if we can text. But he hesitated, and said their parents might not allow. I had a good impression of him up until that moment. Sighhh. Maybe he didn't like me. He could've said that straightaway, but he gave me his insta id later and said we can text here. I dont know how to comprehend this behavior. 

-2

 

There's nothing wrong wanting to get to know them before you decide if you wanna be married. You are, in fact, doing them a favour. You are not even asking much per your wish of 4-5 dates before saying yes (or no). An hour of talk isn't enough...they're arrogant, red flag fools if they think they're that much of a catch such that an hour talk is enough to make you commit.

 

If your parents object that you're too fussy and choosy, tell them that you'd rather be cautious than be a victim of marriage scam or end up with the worst person to be with. I've heard stories from hub's Indian colleagues, like how one's sister almost ended up as the suitor's "wife in that town", that too after demanding an apartment and a car as the girl's dowry.

 

There's nothing wrong of you wanting to be wooed and experience romance. Heh, even the most unassuming would want to have their prospective partner making an effort to impress the apple of their eye. 

 

Like come on, even birds know that, LOL!

 

 

-2

[kokodus]

Thanks so much @MayanEcho for reassuring me that I'm not the strange one here. I'm just going to take a break from all of this for a while to maintain my sanity. LOL.

-2

[partyon]

2 hours ago, kokodus said:

Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates.

 

I think 4-5 dates is too little time to get to know someone though, Ms. Koko It's not like you're buying a washing machine here that you can return to the store if you don't like it.

 

2 hours ago, kokodus said:

ast week I met one guy, we talked for about an hour, when it was time to go, he asked me what my decision was, I told him I need more time, and asked him if we can text. But he hesitated, and said their parents might not allow.

 

Don't let anyone pressure you! It's a red flag if he does and you need to run, sister.

At least this fast.

 

1 hour ago, MayanEcho said:

There's nothing wrong of you wanting to be wooed and experience romance. Heh, even the most unassuming would want to have their prospective partner making an effort to impress the apple of their eye. 

 

 

57 minutes ago, kokodus said:

Thanks so much @MayanEcho for reassuring me that I'm not the strange one here. I'm just going to take a break from all of this for a while to maintain my sanity. LOL.

 

I think you should take a break indefinitely, Ms. Koko. When are you starting to work full time? You might meet someone at work?

 

Like a non-serial killer Mustache Oppa?

 

650

[MayanEcho]

20 minutes ago, partyon said:

Like a non-serial killer Mustache Oppa?

 

Mustache or no mustache, so long that he'll be good and loyal to Ms @kokodus and supportive of her career and treats her as equal at the very least.  

 

ctto

 

-2

[Lmangla]

21 hours ago, kokodus said:

Yeah...the situation now is like the guys doesn't want to talk. Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates.

 

@MayanEcho already explained well but just adding a few points. hope it helps.

650

 

Spoiler

we live in a time where there is no set way to the arranged marriage process. there are different thought processes happening. for some, it is all about adjustment and therefore, it does not matter who they marry as long as some basic criteria is fulfilled. they naively think they can adjust to everyone. facepalm.

now, there is the modern approach where people essentially want a mix of dating as well as arranged marriage process. love cum marriage is what they want.

then there are folks who simply want to get to know the person so that they can make informed decision and determine if this is a match that you can potentially have a long term relationship with and love. they are not necessarily looking for romance immediately but hoping for something to develop in the future over time.

there are guys who don't want to get married and so date/meet within the arranged marriage process to basically waddle to try get out of the situation. they are just there to make token effort to appease the parents.

then there are guys who actually use arranged marriage process to hook up as if it was tinder or bumble. there are also criminals who use the process to try get some money -- a type of love scam but using the traditional process.

so not everyone out there is serious or true. 

my point is that there are all sorts of people out there with their own ideas of romance and marriage. there isn't a single narrative happening at the moment. 

 

now, how do we go about what we are looking for within the arranged marriage process? -- that itself has changed and again, there is no set way at the moment. 

so some decide in one meeting like how it happened during the parents generation while others feel that isn't enough. some take 4-5 dates like you while others set a time period of dating and courtship. it could be 3 months, 6 months and even 1 year. it all depends on the families and the two people involved.

what is good in your case is that you have a time period (4-5 dates) that you would like to determine if it is a good potential match. so having your own parameters that makes you comfortable is a great start.

 

what is needed is your family also needs to be onboard with your time frame (4-5 dates) and convey that to any prospective family. have a serious discussion on why you need 4-5 dates.

I can understand you want to be courted but you have to verbalize it in a language parents understand.

• say that you want to make sure the guy is interested and not getting married for the sake of getting married or because he is too chicken to say no to his parents. say that if a guy is not willing to put in any effort to get to know you, how will he make any attempt at a fruitful relationship after marriage? especially these days, people are so busy that marriages are breaking up as the couple have no time after work to get to know each other and they essentially become roommates who hardly know each other. 
• say that you want to determine if the guy is who he is and make sure there are no red flags that could potentially cause issues down the road. say you want to determine that you will be able to adjust comfortable because the reality is that we cannot adjust or compromise to everything. so you want to ensure that your dealbreakers are not there and he has most of the dealmakers you are looking for.
• it would also be helpful to cite real life examples of people who destroy their lives because they are so obsessed with a wedding day that they hurriedly say yes. there will be plenty of such examples. just look around and mention those people. such real life examples show why it is good to wait and exercise some caution. if you don't know, ask me.  otherwise, watch our regional news. almost every other day, they will be reporting of some fraud, some crime related to a marriage gone wrong. 

 

when your folks understand your mindset, that will make the process easier for you. understand that this stage and process is another teething ground in parent-adult child development -- you both have to come to terms that you are all adults with independent opinions but how do you come together as a family nonetheless where you can agree to disagree, listen to each other even if you have varied opinions. you will have to learn how to negotiate calmly, how to communicate effectively. so it is a test and not necessarily a fun time. however, some families do become closer as they go through such conflict because you all move to a healthy adult child-parent relationship. 

 

so like @MayanEcho said, we all want to be courted. you are not wrong in wanting that. but when you talk to your parents, talk the bitter realities of life and your need for romance in practical terms-- that they will get behind. 

 

 

[rocat]

@kokodus

 

I read about the experiences you shared about matchmaking and the very wise advice given with interest. The only other time I had such insight into the process is from the AuntySima matchmaker show on Netflix and my friends. 
 

I guess it’s a struggle between keeping to culture/traditions vs modernization of the same. It seems to me that there are changes but still, mindsets pertaining to arranged marriages fall far from the non-arranged variety. 
 

I have Indian friends who do the latter much to the horror of their parents (and much drama) but their partners are non-Indian. So, there is at least one less fight to deal with. Most of the time, they work out but there are some that do not.  
 

Non-arranged marriages, freedom to love, love then marriage ideals do not always make sense. There are so many examples of how they have spectacularly failed. 
 

Finding the right person who can accompany you on the path makes all the difference though - that’s what’s difficult. Sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it takes awhile. Sometimes, you have to fight a battle to win the war. But bear with the ups and downs, stick to your guns, you will prevail!

 

 

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