[Drama 2018] About Time / 어바웃타임

[bedifferent]

Thanks @Libera @sin hoonsim @roseyyyy for posting the party stuffs.  @triplem writer Chu Hye-Mi is most likely the woman in long hair flanking LSK’s right at the cake cutting.  

 

Sniff, waaah, LSY, you made me cry again! The whole episode 8 took DS through all the stages of preparing for his end. After the anger and sorrow comes acceptance and preparation. Coming to see his mom once again to say goodbye, to ease his fear of dying tears me up and made me understand how lonely he must have felt all these years as she is the only parent that  he can freely expresses his love to.  Through DS, we get to undertand the dynamics of the family relationship.  We don’t get the choice to choose our family or should we take upon ourselves to sacrifice to keep everyone together.  DS wandered the world all these years because he sees himself as the outcast that divides the Lee family.  He has no idea DH sees him as the plug that fills in the holes in the unit, turning to him whenever DH needs a friend, brother or parent.  

 

As he sets out to complete all his unfinished things that he wanted to do, DS took stock of his life’s meaning.  Did he ever live for himself or more for others?  It does seem like he was running away not only for his family but to find happiness in other means, through the joy and love of charity.  In the end, he still returned home to find the one love that he always wanted so much to find again, his father’s.  To me, that is such an important point to make. Life is short, family is precious, relationships are hard but everything starts with us speaking up.  I was happy to see DS letting go of the heavy burden has carried in his heart all these years.  As he reads out that beautiful poem.  How life is sweetest when death is close.  How we forget that each decade is beautiful and worth dwelling on.  How we live worrying about the future and neglecting our present.  I know Mika is truly a gift to DoHa as much as he is to her.  For a man who is anxious about all the uncontrolled variable in his life, who initially doesn’t believe that time can heal his broken heart, he has stopped living the present. @bebebisous33 I think it is a flower petal that DH sees drifting in the beginning of the drama, reminding him of his precious time in the present.

 

I really like how Mika reminded DH to accept DS’s decision to live his last moments as it is important that the dying has this last control over their end.

 

9 hours ago, bebebisous33 said:

Nevertheless, KJN tried to commit suicide before she left him, which indicates that KJN's love for LDH was not so strong compared to her determination to become a successful singer. She didn't care about LDH's feelings, when she attempted to cut her wrist. 

 

I think love has a lot to do with timing.  DH/JN didn’t work out because they were young and not prepared to overcome the obstacles at that time.  DH said he only wanted to know the reason for her coming back as his heart doesn’t flutter for her the same way now. That’s a fair reason and I actually like how the writer shows us that he is willing to let go of the past.  That shows closure for me. What’s important is what she, JN, sees him at the present time.

[bebebisous33]

7 hours ago, bedifferent said:

Thanks @Libera @sin hoonsim @roseyyyy for posting the party stuffs.  @triplem writer Chu Hye-Mi is most likely the woman in long hair flanking LSK’s right at the cake cutting.  

 

Sniff, waaah, LSY, you made me cry again! The whole episode 8 took DS through all the stages of preparing for his end. After the anger and sorrow comes acceptance and preparation. Coming to see his mom once again to say goodbye, to ease his fear of dying tears me up and made me understand how lonely he must have felt all these years as she is the only parent that  he can freely expresses his love to.  Through DS, we get to undertand the dynamics of the family relationship.  We don’t get the choice to choose our family or should we take upon ourselves to sacrifice to keep everyone together.  DS wandered the world all these years because he sees himself as the outcast that divides the Lee family.  He has no idea DH sees him as the plug that fills in the holes in the unit, turning to him whenever DH needs a friend, brother or parent.  

 

As he sets out to complete all his unfinished things that he wanted to do, DS took stock of his life’s meaning.  Did he ever live for himself or more for others?  It does seem like he was running away not only for his family but to find happiness in other means, through the joy and love of charity.  In the end, he still returned home to find the one love that he always wanted so much to find again, his father’s.  To me, that is such an important point to make. Life is short, family is precious, relationships are hard but everything starts with us speaking up.  I was happy to see DS letting go of the heavy burden has carried in his heart all these years.  As he reads out that beautiful poem.  How life is sweetest when death is close.  How we forget that each decade is beautiful and worth dwelling on.  How we live worrying about the future and neglecting our present.  I know Mika is truly a gift to DoHa as much as he is to her.  For a man who is anxious about all the uncontrolled variable in his life, who initially doesn’t believe that time can heal his broken heart, he has stopped living the present. @bebebisous33 I think it is a flower petal that DH sees drifting in the beginning of the drama, reminding him of his precious time in the present.

 

I really like how Mika reminded DH to accept DS’s decision to live his last moments as it is important that the dying has this last control over their end.

 

 

I think love has a lot to do with timing.  DH/JN didn’t work out because they were young and not prepared to overcome the obstacles at that time.  DH said he only wanted to know the reason for her coming back as his heart doesn’t flutter for her the same way now. That’s a fair reason and I actually like how the writer shows us that he is willing to let go of the past.  That shows closure for me. What’s important is what she, JN, sees him at the present time.

That's KJN's explanation that they were young. However, she disappeared from his life 5 years ago which means that LDH was about 29-30, when she ran away. For me, that's not too young. To me, it sounds more like an excuse. I believe the lack of communication was one of their problems. LDH had no idea what his father did behind his back. I think, she didn't trust LDH's love enough too. To conclude, their relationship failed for three reasons:

- KJN put her career first over LDH's love

- She didn't tell him that the father was trying to sabotage her career

- She couldn't handle the pressure. The fact that she tried to commit suicide is a clue that KJN was trying not to rely on LDH.

Notice that she waited for 5 years, until she came back. She could have come earlier because she was already successful. But she didn't... she waited until she got an offer that was related to LDH's company. Somehow, she might have believed that LDH wanted her back. Her question bothered me: "Did you miss me?" It was as if she knew how much LDH had loved her or as if she wanted to know if they could start over again. With her question, she outlines her selfishness because it is about LDH's love for her. 

[bedifferent]

4 hours ago, bebebisous33 said:

That's KJN's explanation that they were young. However, she disappeared from his life 5 years ago which means that LDH was about 29-30, when she ran away. For me, that's not too young. To me, it sounds more like an excuse. I believe the lack of communication was one of their problems. LDH had no idea what his father did behind his back. I think, she didn't trust LDH's love enough too. To conclude, their relationship failed for three reasons:

- KJN put her career first over LDH's love

- She didn't tell him that the father was trying to sabotage her career

- She couldn't handle the pressure. The fact that she tried to commit suicide is a clue that KJN was trying not to rely on LDH.

Notice that she waited for 5 years, until she came back. She could have come earlier because she was already successful. But she didn't... she waited until she got an offer that was related to LDH's company. Somehow, she might have believed that LDH wanted her back. Her question bothered me: "Did you miss me?" It was as if she knew how much LDH had loved her or as if she wanted to know if they could start over again. With her question, she outlines her selfishness because it is about LDH's love for her. 

 

@Nodame Yes, I agree but I also think neither JN or DH were at a point in their life/career to stand up for their relationship. She was a struggling actress.. The DH that we see now is still trying to forge an identity under his father’s eyes.  There were insecurities that cannot be overlooked and they were not matured enough to handle them. The struggles were real for her to a point that she wanted to end her life so I do applaud her for getting over the depression and moved on after the suicide.  What I don’t like and agree with you is her lack of trust in their relationship.  I don’t think it was 100% pure ambition that caused her to run away.  I do feel that she doesn’t respect him since she just decided to vanish from his life without any regard to his feelings and expected him to continue loving her.   With the passing of DS, DH has a different perspective on love and life.  I think he would weather the challenges better, knowing how important it is to fight for the people who are dear to him.  

 

There’s a weariness about JN, in her recollections of her career in the US, that makes me think her return to SK is not about DH completely.  Her vocal chord is not in good health.  She has seen the extent of her ambition and career.  It did not bring her the happiness she thought would come with a successful career. There’s an underlying sense of guilt and sadness in her eyes whenever DH’s name comes up.  I think she does want to make reparation for the pain that her younger weak self has made of their relationship.  I know I sound very oprimistic here, to hope that the ex is a decent person.  I am one of those people LOL

 

[bebebisous33]

@bedifferent Thanks for pointing out this interesting observation: the fact that she decided to return, when she is having problems with her voice. This implies that KJN's career has already reached its peak. So it seems to me that she might quit at some point. On the other hand, she still has no family. Maybe she realized that her work could no longer be her only goal in life. She has a friend like director JY but that's it. Maybe she gets aware that her life is incomplete, she should have her first love by her side... because her career has become less important. IF the father were to meddle again, she would have less problem because she has a name and she is rich herself. 

Despite her flaws, I wouldn't say that she is so terrible, compared to Beth or LDB. She has her flaws but unlike SB, she is far more honest and franc. SB plays games and puts a fake smile on her face.

[Carmarie]

 DS dying scene was very powerful, without realizing I was tearing up.  I am going to miss the relationship between  DH and DS.  Great job!

 

When DS saw the calendar and saw that his father kept track of his whereabouts, DS realized that his father did love him.  I wonder if DS could have increased his mortality date if he checked into the hospital and received treatments.  He was scared of dying (most people are); however, he chose to so some things he wanted to do and be with family.  He always wanted to sleep together with his brothers, his wish came true, what a way to go...next to someone you love.

 

Now I can read the posts.

[Veronica Park]

https://ahjummamshies.com/2018/06/14/k-drama-reaction-about-time-episode-5/

[Nodame]

@stroppyse OMG I miss you! Hope you are taking care! You did need the break. You are gem!

 

@bebebisous33 and @bedifferent Thanks for your insights.

 

@bedifferent Yes, I agree with what you said, I did not think it to that level when I wrote out my post (Just a quick dump of thoughts which is probably my posts don't come out so well --so glad you read them despite that).  Yes, JN and DH were young, in the throes of first love. Both are not established and starting, but as we know for DH--chaebols in training is different from someone who is poor and trying to make their mark in the world.  I did like you pointing out that JN might be peaking in her career being tired, having voice issues and just wanting to return to Korea and get out of the very competitive world on Broadway. I mean 1) foreign language 2) foreign land 3) no close friends/relations I guess she might have had some money from DH's family (no way she could have gone there with nothing? I doubt it. If was able to runaway without money, it would have been even more of a trial.

 

I hope with you she is not SB/Beth and she does seem like a decent person. I mean when Mika gave her a good analysis to find the cause of rushing the emotions etc, she appreciated the candor (She did not expect at all from Mika.) So she found it refreshing and respected her a bit more to return the favor and give her honest feedback about how Mika should be acting. Totally did not expect it but loved that she was real and candid with Mika. If anything,  she could be a great mentor for our Mika. Even if JN still has DH in her heart, as JY warns/alerts her in the coming episode ---she had to expect it. Now for DH it is closure and I hope the same for her too. I hope that there will be no makjang . 

 

As mentioned again and again and myself included DS, going to miss you so MUCH! Your presence lit up the screen for DH and your support and love of him. Your last moments and spending time with loved ones was precious. DH honoring Mika telling him to not let on he knew, a painful but beautiful gift. He traveled so far away to avoid the father and DB hyung, but left poor DH in Korea. Glad he got some happiness and peace while away even if he missed Dad, DB hyung and DH. It was bittersweet when he was sharing no matter where he was and when he was lonely or sad those he missed those three men's faces show up. Family is complicated, you cannot choose them. You love them and when you have a love/hate relationship it is even more difficult or even TOXIC for yourself. He did the right thing for himself. Gosh to learn that DB pushed DS down the stairs. It infuriated me and ticked me off. Wow how can someone do that to another person? (I don't care even if in the fit of anger that is TRUE malice in my book.) But DS admitted having the normal feelings of anger, hatred to DB but to later take the blame for not being good and nice to DB. Wow. To tell DH to not hate on dad or DB. Wow. I am glad DS got to see that even his seemingly cold-hearted dad (after he moved into with the main family) turned ICY, he did record all the places he traveled in his calendar. So DS saw his dad cared, just was stubborn and typical non emotional/remote parent.

 

I find that those who are the happy and nice people, are the ones who have suffered or gone through the most pain in their lives. They CHOOSE to be happy and be light. My thoughts on this has been proving again and again as to be true.  A former colleague of mine, she was such an angel and always smiling. You wouldn't know she suffered from crippling back pain and headaches. Another colleague of mine was a Vietnamese boat refugee from the 1970's . He always came to work with a bright smile and easy going attitude. While on the boat, leaving Vietnam and fleeing , the pirates got to them and in the darkness of the night shot at them and did many horrific things. He remembers having dead bodies around him but he had no where to go as he was stuck. 

 

Wonder what will be up with DH with CA as he offered to take out Beth of their agreement? Hmmm. We know Dad is upset and DB is fine with it as long as he gets the main inheritance and beats out DH he doesn't care. I mean does he even love his wife? He is so cold. She is so sweet, he must have liked her at least as she is not from a wealthy family or have status it seems like. So I guess he did at one point but NOT now. 

 

[Guest]

Finally caught up.

 

@stroppyseGlad to see you here.

 

Writing down my thoughts:

 

• @bedifferentI know it's a bit late, but where do you wanted a male pov?
• I don't really like where this thing between Mi Kas brother and her roommate is leading to. Please don't force a lovestory between those two.
• So Mi Ka drains the lifeforce out of Do Ha, Well that's unfortunate, but I adds an interesting twist into the current situation.
• I still do understand Ms.Bae's behavior, her ways are sometimes a little rough and harsh, but I know why she does it. I still think she doesn't do anything bad. I admit that recruiting Do Ha's ex girlfriend wasn't very nice, but I understand her intention.
  But she may not realize that she has still feelings for Do Ha, so she may become a problem again. She helps her plan for now, but like she said, men always remember their first love, may it be good or bad, so she has to stand her aswell. 
• I also understand why Do Ha's ex girlfriend left. I think what she did was correct.
• Somehow I had the feeling that Do-San was in love with Hye-Young. But I can be mistaken here. But I'm really curious what he prepared for her. It seems like he funded something to support her in some way. It seems like she will get some sort of legacy from him. 
• I'm not going to talk about the death scenes, I have witnessed enough deaths of family members in my life and somehow I'm probably in the same spot.

[LSYfan]

 

[bedifferent]

@Dhakra aha, you still watch, got interested with this timeclock thingy huh?

 

Interresting that you said men will always remember their first love.  Unless it was hell and back, most guys that I know think back of their first love fondly.  I have a feeling it’s one of those important chapter in their boyhood to manhood that will be stamped forever.  The mind is funny, it filters out and keep in long term memory pleasant thought more than others although the painful ones are nature’s way of reminding you not to repeat the same mistakes again.  Do you think DoHa is the same?  His first time seeing JN again shocked him, brought back this intense hurt that he repressed.  Afterward, he recovered to the present where time has dulled his feelings toward her.  I guess that is how I figure and he figured that love is not what he feels for her now.  With BS, she hoped that in time, DH will learn to love her because she is in front of his face all the time.  With JN, it’s hard to know if she still feels this strong love toward DH.  It’s gonna be hard for her once she realized that he loves someone new.  For a male, your first love is the yardstick of where all your relationships will be measured, no?

 

Ohhh, I wanted to know your male POV on this timeclock thing as well. Did you ever watched Benjamin Button?  Like the characters in the movie, DH and Mika’s timeclock will always run in opposite direction of the other’s.  Yet they managed to live, meet and love each other at different stages in their lives.  

 

Me too. Do San was in love with his SIL.  She’s good at cooking, wonder if he gave her partnership in a restaurant business.

 

@Nodame I’m glad you are watching with us.  I soooo not want any more makjang moment.  JN went through some hardship to get to where she is.  There’s proprietorship with the musical spot and over DH as his first love.  It will be ugly for a little bit I think hahaha.  Being a musical actress was everythng for her, including the need to prove and be accepted by others.  All of which I think more for her than for her love of DH.

 

Anyway, let’s talk about Mika and LSK who I think bounced off LSY well in E8.  I am loving their chemistry. The age gap works well in the couply scene.  Mika is light, she’s pure love.  DH is emotionally scarred so when he commits, his words have more gravity.  Despite all the plotting problems, their conversations are the saving grace for this drama.  Honest, sincere and real conversations.

 

Yes, I love what you said about us having to choose to be happy.  It’s not a big deal right?  Things shall pass.  So far, About Time is about the choices these characters made to be different after they have experienced pain.  DH’s father finally take the family picture, albeit late, after his son’s death.  Will he change the way he expressed his love toward DH? 

 

BTW, I really like LSK doing melo.  I love her as adorable Bok-joo so am glad to see her doing more dramatic stuffs.  She does vulnerability well.  Hoping for more scenes where Mika can show her inner strength, like the 3 women round table coming up. 

 

More party stuffs. Glad they can rest now.

 

JN and MK are sitting on the same side.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, bedifferent said:

@Dhakra aha, you still watch, got interested with this timeclock thingy huh?

 

Interresting that you said men will always remember their first love.  Unless it was hell and back, most guys that I know think back of their first love fondly.  I have a feeling it’s one of those important chapter in their boyhood to manhood that will be stamped forever.  The mind is funny, it filters out and keep in long term memory pleasant thought more than others although the painful ones are nature’s way of reminding you not to repeat the same mistakes again.  Do you think DoHa is the same?  His first time seeing JN again shocked him, brought back this intense hurt that he repressed.  Afterward, he recovered to the present where time has dulled his feelings toward her.  I guess that is how I figure and he figured that love is not what he feels for her now.  With BS, she hoped that in time, DH will learn to love her because she is in front of his face all the time.  With JN, it’s hard to know if she still feels this strong love toward DH.  It’s gonna be hard for her once she realized that he loves someone new.

 

I would not necessarily say that I am interested in that whole timeclock thingy, I'm more interested in the story as a whole. These little shenanigans with some sort of special powers are always a little odd, but I do like good storytelling.

 

Well we do like to value our first love more than others, because our first love or relationship was the first step of, like you said, becoming a man. And every man has to admit that she our first love was probably the one who had the most impact on us, simply because she changed us so much. Most of the time she made us presentable, she taught us things. We learned what it means to love somebody, or, something that I did not experience, be loved by somebody. 

Everything turns brighter, we become a different person, everything feels new. Not to mention that you also feel different towards your male friends. Every man will tell you that their friends change during the first months of a relationship. 

 

Due to this, we remember our first real love and make her into something bigger than she actual was. I do remember my first love aswell and sometimes see her as the chance I probably threw away. 

 

Do Ha will remember how he felt during that time, how it was to love for the first time and he will miss this feeling. He will think back how great it was, but that doesn't mean that he actually still love her. She left him, for a good reason, I do not resent her for her decision, what she did was correct. But meeting her put him in shock, you have to remember, she was the first person he learned to love. Men will always think that their first love will last forever. 

Seeing her hurt him, things like this can shatter us. 

But like he also said, he felt nothing when sitting in front of her, his heart moved on, time & Mi Ka healed his heart. 

 

BS hoped that her effort will someday pay out, which can work, but she just isn't the one he loves. Which is sad, but this is also the reason why I do understand her feelings. She wants to do everything she can to make him love her, because she actually does love him. 

 

1 hour ago, bedifferent said:

 It’s gonna be hard for her once she realized that he loves someone new.  For a male, your first love is the yardstick of where all your relationships will be measured, no?

 

Actually, no. All relationships will be measured with the last one you had. Because after every break-up you realize what went wrong and you want to improve yourself or you realize what you want in a relationship. So every relationship will be compared with the last one, even if that means that you date one of your ex-gfs again.

Your first love is something different, she "prepares" you for what it means to be a man in a relationship. She hands you over the manual and you do or think about stuff you never did before. 

You never compare anyone to her, at least I did not, you just always remember her because she was the first. Because you did not know anything about love you thing everything she did was perfect. You were happy because you didn't know better. Men are little boys in their first relationship.

 

1 hour ago, bedifferent said:

Me too. Do San was in love with his SIL.  She’s good at cooking, wonder if he gave her partnership in a restaurant business

 

Oh, glad somebody also thinks so. I hope she will receive something big, maybe even something that makes her independant. So she can leave the house and start something new. Maybe he gifts her a new life as his last present.

[LSYfan]

beautiful couple

[Guest]

I have been out of town with a super busy week. Crazy trying to play catch up on all my dramas. The saddest scene for me was me was not even DS dying . It was that picture he so badly wanted to take but never got to. That empty space they left him is a poignant reminder to love & honour those around you while they are still alive . I never quite warmed out to DoHa’s dad. I still don’t but at least in this episode, we saw that he does in his own way,  love all his three sons. The guilt he has from having another family outside must have have translated into the cold ways in which he ended up treating his own sons. Pitching one son against another in other to make them be better / more successful ( supposedly the way his own Father did ) is a terrible way to raise children . It is no wonder that DoHa seems emotionally crippled at times ( in the early episodes )& get these panic attacks. 

 

So where’s this story headed now ? Her stealing his time ? Honestly I still don’t get the rules of how it works 

[LSYfan]

Congratulations Mika & Doha, About Time! Fighting :o)

 

[LSYfan]

 

[ilu2]

Just finished watching this week's 2 eps and OMG, poor brother . What a great character!

BTW, in ep 5, I noticed that Mi Ka saw her own time for the first time when Do Ha bumped into her in the street. There has to be some explanation why she started seeing her time then and if there is any connection between the time she has left to live and the time she gets from Do Ha when she is with him?!?! She hasn't realised that it was him who bumped into her yet tho.

[LSYfan]

finally a sweet romance

[Guest]

You know you are a crazy drama nut when  the first thing you check when you get off a plane is Soompi & your twitter feed! Yah , can’t wait to see thiS

 

[Guest]

Nooo , apparently she’s avoiding him . Gosh the writer really wants to throw in the noble idiocy trope ?? Did anyone watch the live stream ? I need her to talk to him & tell him. 

 

I hope miss oh can give her some advice 

Aigoo why’s the kiss so short? Lol!

 

[bebebisous33]

And we all expected: MC decides to leave him because she is stealing his time.  DH has always been treated like a puppet: the ex, SB, his father and now Mi Ka. I  wished, the writer would have come up with a better idea: MC tells DH about that and he gets the right to decide if he wants to keep her by his side!