[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[tiger457_stv]

Just now, MsMinnieFran said:

People don't let the last seconds of them dramatically walking away  from each other fool you..it is just the show being dramatic..all they are doing is going back to work as it is the middle of the work day . She most likely called him at the end of the work day and they met up and continued where they left off.

@MsMinnieFran  said:  People don't let the last seconds of them dramatically walking away  from each other fool you..it is just the show being dramatic..all they are doing is going back to work as it is the middle of the work day . She most likely called him at the end of the work day and they met up and continued where they left off.

 

More walking, more heavy breathing, more furtive glances.  Tricky Ajusshi, tricky Ji-Anssi!!!  hahaha

[anipanch]

50 minutes ago, aisling said:

My question went unanswered... So I ask again: does anybody know what Ji An meant by “If I stay here, he won’t be coming to the bar”? Why? Why would he avoid her?

Hey I'll try to write down my interpretation. It's kind of an ambiguous scene and can be up to many interpretations. 

So... here's my take. JA saying ''how pathetic she feels is like a parallel to the slippers thing. Again, she has professed her love and laid her feelings bare but DH is still reluctant. She again feels pathetic that her feelings aren't answered the way she would like to. Let's be honest, DH was afraid and not ready to actually address his feelings for JA until the time skip. He would have gone and run away, confused. JA knew well that if she stayed around, DH wouldn't have been able face her, he still had many things to sort out. Like, what would he do with his job and marriage. JA gave both of them time and space to breathe and actually understand what was going around them. 

JA telling him "I don't need someone who can be happy without me" - is her way of saying "You're not ready to accept my feelings and admit that you're interested, so I'm leaving to give both of us a break and see if we still meet again".

DH promised JA that he would be happy, but he never promised her that he would be happy without her.

[ninaanin]

3 minutes ago, MsMinnieFran said:

People don't let the last seconds of them dramatically walking away  from each other fool you..it is just the show being dramatic..all they are doing is going back to work as it is the middle of the work day . She most likely called him at the end of the work day and they met up and continued where they left off.

 

 Yes. I think so: in no time they will be eating together. In fact, even if their relationship is only friendship, they will see each other and keep seeing each other, because friends or lovers, they are happy in one's other company. The least realistic interpretation, imo, of this end is to think they are going in "separated ways", meaning they won't keep in touch. As I said before, friends or lovers, realisticaly there is no reason to not keep in touch. 

 

Furthermore, I think the voiceover is a foreshadowing of their date; but if they are telephaticaly speaking, then well, this add to the impossbility to not be together as soulmates and lovers. However, I prefer to think is foreshadowing, for it is more beautiful, poetic and cinematic. 

 

Btw, I'm slowly putting my whole foot in my mouth . 

[tiger457_stv]

9 minutes ago, ninaanin said:

 

 Yes. I think so: in no time they will be eating together. In fact, even if their relationship is only friendship, they will see each other and keep seeing each other, because friends or lovers, they are happy in one's other company. The least realistic interpretation, imo, of this end is to think they are going in "separated ways", meaning they won't keep in touch. As I said before, friends or lovers, realisticaly there is no reason to not keep in touch. 

 

Furthermore, I think the voiceover is a foreshadowing of their date; but if they are telephaticaly speaking, then well, this add to the impossbility to not be together as soulmates and lovers. However, I prefer to think is foreshadowing, for it is more beautiful, poetic and cinematic. 

 

Btw, I'm slowly putting my whole foot in my mouth . 

@ninaanin  if you put your whole foot in your mouth...…. don't gag!  We don't want to call the ambulance and perform CPR!

[sadiesmith]

5 hours ago, aisling said:

Can anybody help me interpreting this scene?

 

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The way I understood it... JA was saying she didn’t want to pathetically waiting and longing for him because he didn’t feel the same way about her. Is that right? He can be happy without her and she won’t ever hold onto him to make him uncomfortable.

 

She wants to move far because she wants to move on and stop feeling like that about him. Also why did she tell Jung Hee that DH wouldn’t come to her bar if she stayed there?

 

I saw it the same way you did, that she understood he wasn't going to reciprocate her feelings.  I think she confessed so many times with the tiny hope that he would leave his wife for her, but his action made it clear to her that he was putting a distance.  And that included not going to Jung Hee's.  She did not want her to be a burden for him.  As I was watching epi 15 and 16, I had to be impressed at how unwavering she was in her love, like how many times did she confess?

[TJ Starcandy]

2 hours ago, brose_stv said:

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Also, the scene where Dong-hoon breaks down while eating and looking at the family portrait hanging on the wall... You don't cry like that when your spouse goes on a vacation. You cry like that when you and your spouse have separated. Knowing how hard Dong-hoon tried to save his marriage throughout the drama, regardless of the fact that there was no love in the marriage, it must have been very, very hard to go through with the separation. However, it was absolutely necessary and it had to be done. Because his marriage was one of the main things that was making him unhappy.

 

What happened after DH and JH separated? Dong-hoon came out strong and he is thriving. Dong-hoon is COMFORTABLE and SUCCESSFUL and HAPPY. Meanwhile, his wife continues to live with their son, separately from Dong-hoon. Knowing Dong-hoon's upright character, he maintains an amiable relationship with JH and even has their pictures on his desk. JH is still in his life, but not as a "wife" but as his son's mother. The scene at the cafe actually starts with Dong-hoon talking about his son before he even brings up "my kid's mom". 

 

I'm beyond impressed by how consistent, classy, and subtle (yet meaningful) this drama has been. The ending is true to the spirit of the drama. For me at least, the 30 second "hand shake" and promises of seeing each other again left me more than satisfied and confident about what's gonna happen between the two protagonists.

 

Also, another poster mentioned that during the final scene, the expression on the two main characters was sad. Not for me. The look on their faces was that of comfort and affection (and a look of determination on Ji-an's face, perhaps she's thinking "I'm not gonna let you go this time, Mister.")

 

Sorry for cutting your post short. Aside from YH leaving,  may I also add that Jian was partly the reason for DH's breakdown. She was always been the person who comforted him and made him breathe to go on.. In a way, seeing Jian everyday distracted him from feeling the actual pain of his crumbling marriage. With Jian gone, all that pent up emotional pain resurfaced and he had no other choice but to confront it that's when he finally broke down on his own. A good way for DH because in order to heal, he needs to start rebuilding within and learning to pick up the pieces of what is left and putting it back together on his own . 

 

YH asking for beer was also an important point and quite symbolic. All throughout the show DH will ask her if she needed anything. She would always say just get whatever you want, or no, just head home. This time around YH asked him so specific  like a beer, the only thing she wanted for him to get in the entirety of the show. It meant that they must finally had the sit down talk and decided on their marriage. Then she left for the States right after to be with their son. It is clear at that point YH decided to exit their marriage and start a new life. 

 

The other huge no turning back in their marriage sign: when Jian asked YH why she cheated on DH? she replied there are thousand reasons but to think about it there is no real reason of why I did that to him.. How can you fix something when the reason and corresponding solution don't exist?  YH clearly declared that she cheated on him because she wanted to.. It was more because of her own selfishness as a person. That scene really boiled my intense hate for her and made her a big beeyoch in my opinion until the very end.  

 

That popular 30 second handshake. He was tugging at Jian's hand so hard that it might have turned blue already. (Yah LSG oppa please be careful with those tiny hands, they are quite precious in the Korean music scene). I also noticed he briefly stared at their hands intertwined, and so was Jian. It was DH's way of encouraging Jian creating an opening for her.. In other words, our Ajusshi is flirting so Jian took the chance and asked him for a meal date. 

 

Jian's sadness in the final scene? I never saw it as sadness but rather her usual painful longing gaze only reserved for DH alone. It never changed because of how poetic it was captured in camera all the time with the background song "Ordinary Day" to accompany those scenes. This is not the first time we are seeing that look, it was the same gaze in episode 11 or 12 when she was looking directly at DH through his brother's car window.  However, I agree with some users here that Jian appeared more nervous than DH this time around..I would be too especially if you just saw the love of your life for the first time and he was so ecstatic to see you that he almost fractured your hand because of the handshake..  She had the look of determination at the very end there because finding him again gave her confidence and strength. DH always have that way with her and vice versa.

 

The ending is full of possibilities. But we all know DH is looking at Jian's ID badge for a moment, so he knows where he works and how to find her. That ajusshi will always come out and find a reason for his daily "landscaping survey and finding building cracks" in that area where she works. That is DH and JA's habitual thing btw, walking around the neighborhood and surveying the area.. code word for them looking for each other..

 

[mintea18]

The way he looks at her 

 

 

 

 

[justamom]

Chingus! Soompians! So many, many thought provoking comments over the day from @40somethingahjumma, @anipanch @timidjock0819, @africandramalover @brose_stv @tiger457_stv and more! I will come back and savour them over and over again in the next few days. 

 

I really want to write another really long essay because all of your reviews have given me so much to think about (and possibly a short fan fic too!). But it'll have to be piecemeal for now because I'm going on a weekend trip with the family and more importantly, I just watched #16 again with the husband! And he has a completely different view from me even though we watched the same damn thing! I'm starting to wonder if I married the wrong man! 

 

Around episodes #13/14, he commented that this was such a touching story, their love for each other was so deep.. etc so I asked him, how do you think it will end? That's when he made the passing stars in the night comment (which turned out to be true) but he also said "she's infatuated. and he's just a father figure to her." After watching #16, he gloated. "It's just as I expected."

 

Me: "What about that longing gaze?"

Him: "You're imagining things. It's the contented smile of a father figure knowing his young friend is doing well."

Me: "What about that moment when he broke down?"

Him: "He misses his wife?"

 

 

I almost threw the pillow at him! But I held my emotions in check and asked him what he meant. He said he hasn't had a moment in the show where he felt that Dong Hoon had romantic (ie longing, lust) feelings for her. I'll admit I never thought their attraction was sexual on his part, I just thought it was a very deep need to have her back by his side. And that, to me, is the deepest sort of love. 

 

Soompians, I need some comforting! Did I marry the wrong guy?? 

 

P/S Let me just add. He was completely bored by Secret Love Affair, my all time favourite drama next to My Ahjussi

 

 

[TJ Starcandy]

1 hour ago, MsMinnieFran said:

People don't let the last seconds of them dramatically walking away  from each other fool you..it is just the show being dramatic..all they are doing is going back to work as it is the middle of the work day . She most likely called him at the end of the work day and they met up and continued where they left off.

 

Yes I agree. Realism at its very core of the adult working class. Regardless if you saw the love of your life and the world stop for a minute there, Jian needs to get back to work so technically she needs to walk the other way. I am just saying it makes sense because otherwise she will be sacked by her boss. 

 

 I am sure that date happened because of the voice over in the end. So yeah, she called him for that meal date after work. 

[sadiesmith]

 

Just seeing this image again is enough to start the tears from flowing again.  Their goodbye was so emotional and one of the most meaningful in any drama.  Andd did you see the way she buried her whole face into his chest?  I think they had to pull away sooner than they wanted to because Jung Hee was there.  As she kept crying after they pulled away, who else besides me screamed for him to give her another hug?

 

Why am I more emotional about that parting scene now than I was during my watch last night?  I think feeling anxious about how the show would resolve their relationship ruined the watch a little bit.  I now know that when I rewatch it would be a cry-fest.

[ninaanin]

9 minutes ago, justamom said:

Chingus! Soompians! So many, many thought provoking comments over the day from @40somethingahjumma, @anipanch @timidjock0819, @africandramalover @brose_stv @tiger457_stv and more! I will come back and savour them over and over again in the next few days. 

 

I really want to write another really long essay because all of your reviews have given me so much to think about (and possibly a short fan fic too!). But it'll have to be piecemeal for now because I'm going on a weekend trip with the family and more importantly, I just watched #16 again with the husband! And he has a completely different view from me even though we watched the same damn thing! I'm starting to wonder if I married the wrong man! 

 

Around episodes #13/14, he commented that this was such a touching story, their love for each other was so deep.. etc so I asked him, how do you think it will end? That's when he made the passing stars in the night comment (which turned out to be true) but he also said "she's infatuated. and he's just a father figure to her." After watching #16, he gloated. "It's just as I expected."

 

Me: "What about that longing gaze?"

Him: "You're imagining things. It's the contented smile of a father figure knowing his young friend is doing well."

Me: "What about that moment when he broke down?"

Him: "He misses his wife?"

 

 

I almost threw the pillow at him! But I held my emotions in check and asked him what he meant. He said he hasn't had a moment in the show where he felt that Dong Hoon had romantic (ie longing, lust) feelings for her. I'll admit I never thought their attraction was sexual on his part, I just thought it was a very deep need to have her back by his side. And that, to me, is the deepest sort of love. 

 

Soompians, I need some comforting! Did I marry the wrong guy?? 

 

P/S Let me just add. He was completely bored by Secret Love Affair, my all time favourite drama next to My Ahjussi

 

 

 

Maybe he isn't just into subtle things? But I agree that that crying scene has more to do with his broken marriage (not missing her) than with JA, although I think that she has her share in it. I read that scene as his finally accepting his projected life doesn't exist anymore. Even if one isn't in love, it is very painful to let go of a marriage that represents what one thought it will be his perfect life. 

 

Well I showed to my two kids (a girl of 12 - she hadn't see any scene then, and a boy of 16 he had see a few shots) the scene when he asked to the barman if that pretty girl didn't come. My daughter asked if it was a love triangle (because KI) and both said they were in love. So... 

 

[akhenaten]

Waaahhh.  i haven’t seen the subbed versions of Episodes 15 and 16 yet!  RL got in the way.  Good thing I saw the raw of The Finale. And spoiled myself silly by reading all your comments. I promise myself that i will

lock myself up in my room tomorrow and watch them all.  Then cry and feel both depressed and ecstatic and not emerge until Monday morning. Heheheh. 

[justamom]

10 hours ago, chickfactor said:

Well, this was the after-show conversation between me and my husband:

 

Me: "What do you think happens to them?"

 

Husband: "Obviously, they get together."

 

We need to trade husbands!!  

 

I didn't hear that line at all on rewatching -- "she who hasn't even hugged me once". What could that have been and why did they delete it??

 

8 hours ago, africandramalover said:

18 hours ago, justamom said:

This is truly one of the greatest Korean dramas ever. Without doubt, a masterpiece. @africandramalover It's just pipped SLA for me, with that ending.

 

If they didn't have that press conference, I would be with you. I would be struggling about it. However, My Mister is not my number 2 drama, it is now my number 1.5 bestest drama. Most definitely!

 

1. SLA

1.5 My Mister

2. City Hall

 

Mine looks like this:

1. My Mister

1. Secret Love Affair

3. Misty 

4. Coffee Prince?? Autumn Love?? (which was so bad in a gooood sort of way) Signal??

 

8 hours ago, africandramalover said:

"You are all decent people.May you hang in there till you find comfort for yourselves. I was once in the same situation as you. I will help you as if we were family."

Where was this? 

 

Like @40somethingahjumma says I don't know what's going on at TVN and JTBC but that's a truck load of good scripts on their laps. I think it says a lot that my three favourite dramas were all cable productions this year.

 

I've been watching Korean dramas for more than 15 years, but just casually -- watching the big hits and not really knowing what else was going on in K Drama land...until Secret Love Affair, which shocked me with its quality, and then I just fell into the rabbit hole and this year... has been exceptional. But like quite a few of you here I really need a break after I come down from the high of My Ahjussi. Watching Misty + this show live consecutively has taken a toll on real life! I was playing with the kids today and totally spacing out and the husband was like "Mommy? Mommy? Please come back to earth." 

 

I came into My Ahjussi expecting some sort of thriller-mystery. It's the sort of show my husband likes, he loved Signal, so I thought he would love this show too. I did not expect a love story and it took me by complete surprise. But starting from the episode with the slippers, I began to see the clues the author had inserted, like a trail of breadcrumbs leading to Dong Hoon's point of no return. Maybe because I'm a writer but these things just jump out at me. I mean, I'm pretty sure the screenwriter wrote these stage directions in, e.g.

 

Ji An's friends call. It is time to go, but he isn't ready.

DH: Let's have a handshake

DH reaches out for Ji An's hand. It is smaller than he remembers. A warmth starts to spread inside his chest that takes him by complete surprise.

JA: Let me buy you a meal. Something delicious

She glances at his hand, the same hands she once admired from the back of his car. He's still holding on to her. But her colleagues are waiting.

JA: I'll call you.

The smile that breaks out over his face warms her from inside out. He can't stop smiling, and neither can she. What wondrous fate is this that brought them to the same cafe? How long did they circle in the same orbits in the past two months? His hold loosens, and she takes it as her cue to go. She takes a step back and his hand slips past her fingers. As she turns away she can still feel his hand on hers.

 

Man, I really need to try and get my hands on this script. @africandramalover I'll ask my screenwriter friend about your suggestion and see if she can help. I'm definitely in! I've been sending her my non-stop praise about the show.

 

[hushhh]

3 hours ago, nearsea said:

@hushhh I am really sorry, I wasn't thinking about your comment when I added this line. I apologize. I think I was writing this in reply to someone who said some pages back that  how ji an is not fit for someone of dong hoon's age as he's past his prime [?]. So kindly ignore my post. My original point was that I don't find romantic love any less meaningful than any other type of love.

 

It's fine.

 

Thanks for the clarification.   I was taken aback and did not want to start anything which is why I "spoiled" my response.j

 

In general I try not to write about people (even fictional ones) in that way. In the vernacular "not fit" is very different from "not suitable" so rarely talk about people like that. Not never, but rarely.

[ninaanin]

11 minutes ago, justamom said:

 

We need to trade husbands!!  

 

I didn't hear that line at all on rewatching -- "she who hasn't even hugged me once". What could that have been and why did they delete it??

 

 

Mine looks like this:

1. My Mister

1. Secret Love Affair

3. Misty 

4. Coffee Prince?? Autumn Love?? (which was so bad in a gooood sort of way) Signal??

 

Where was this? 

 

Like @40somethingahjumma says I don't know what's going on at TVN and JTBC but that's a truck load of good scripts on their laps. I think it says a lot that my three favourite dramas were all cable productions this year.

 

I've been watching Korean dramas for more than 15 years, but just casually -- watching the big hits and not really knowing what else was going on in K Drama land...until Secret Love Affair, which shocked me with its quality, and then I just fell into the rabbit hole and this year... has been exceptional. But like quite a few of you here I really need a break after I come down from the high of My Ahjussi. Watching Misty + this show live consecutively has taken a toll on real life! I was playing with the kids today and totally spacing out and the husband was like "Mommy? Mommy? Please come back to earth." 

 

I came into My Ahjussi expecting some sort of thriller-mystery. It's the sort of show my husband likes, he loved Signal, so I thought he would love this show too. I did not expect a love story and it took me by complete surprise. But starting from the episode with the slippers, I began to see the clues the author had inserted, like a trail of breadcrumbs leading to Dong Hoon's point of no return. Maybe because I'm a writer but these things just jump out at me. I mean, I'm pretty sure the screenwriter wrote these stage directions in, e.g.

 

Ji An's friends call. It is time to go, but he isn't ready.

DH: Let's have a handshake

DH reaches out for Ji An's hand. It is smaller than he remembers. A warmth starts to spread inside his chest that takes him by complete surprise.

JA: Let me buy you a meal. Something delicious

She glances at his hand, the same hands she once admired from the back of his car. He's still holding on to her. But her colleagues are waiting.

JA: I'll call you.

The smile that breaks out over his face warms her from inside out. He can't stop smiling, and neither can she. What wondrous fate is this that brought them to the same cafe? How long did they circle in the same orbits in the past two months? His hold loosens, and she takes it as her cue to go. She takes a step back and his hand slips past her fingers. As she turns away she can still feel his hand on hers.

 

Man, I really need to try and get my hands on this script. @africandramalover I'll ask my screenwriter friend about your suggestion and see if she can help. I'm definitely in! I've been sending her my non-stop praise about the show.

 

 

I'm not a writer (at least not a literary one, just write scientific papers), and my english is not worth lol. So I will suggest to add the sequence from the moment she hear his voice, and putting how her shoulders show her altered breath when seeing him. This was a detail that I think shows how much she was affected by it.  

[justamom]

Points I noted on my rewatch:

 

- symbolism of cherry blossoms. There're loads of Japanese and Korean poems about cherry blossoms. They're a beautiful sight to the viewer. But they also symbolise death. The end. That beauty is transient, just like our time on earth. Great cinematic detail.

 

- Dong Hoon's protectiveness throughout the funeral. Chiding his hoobaes and Hugye bros for joking around (and presumably disturbing Ji An). And the moment when Manager Song said he wanted to hug Ji An. @Alex Dooley can you pretty please do a gif of Dong Hoon's side eye then?

 

- Yeon Hee's departure. In my view. Dong Hoon probably didn't do anything after Ji An left. He just continued with life as usual, with his family and maybe even attempted to have meals and rebuild the connection with his wife. He also probably saw a need to shield his wife from any fallout after her public embarrassment. But it failed spectacularly. It would just have felt hollow and plain uncomfortable for Yeon Hee. I'm sure Ji An's departure cast a shadow on him for a while too and she knew it. But Dong Hoon being Dong Hoon, just continued going about with his day the only way he knows how to. So what did Yeon Hee do? She made the decision to leave him behind in Seoul, to leave him alone so he could have the time and space to sort out his thoughts. And that was the only way, leading his pathetic lonely goose husband life eating frozen food and Mom's leftovers, for him to realise how far he was from the happy life he promised Ji An he would lead.

 

For me, the breakdown was not only about his realisation of the sham he had thought was the perfect life -- the directorship, the marriage -- but also because he remembered his promise to Ji An that he would be happy. But he's right back to where he was when they first met. Only then does he realise he must change his life completely.

 

P.S. On goose husbands, here's a great read: For English Studies, Koreans Say Goodbye to Dad - The New York ...

[justamom]

5 minutes ago, ninaanin said:

'm not a writer (at least not a literary one, just write scientific papers), and my english is not worth lol. So I will suggest to add the sequence from the moment she hear his voice, and putting how her shoulders show her altered breath when seeing him. This was a detail that I think shows how much she was affected by it.  

 

 Sometimes non writers see things better than us writers. We get so blinded by our own words. My original intention was just to give an example of what I thought were clear stage directions for Dong Hoon to show his longing towards Ji An. And then I got caught up in my own verbosity and kept going.

 

I mean, it was so clear to me that it definitely had to be written right there in the script. Those gazes don't just come from nowhere. The screenwriter includes them as action/thought tags to guide the actor in expressing the right emotion that she/he wants.

 

Except in my husband's case he thought the action tag was "Dong Hoon casts a fatherly gaze on his precious child"

Ptooey! Ptooey!

[sadiesmith]

39 minutes ago, ninaanin said:

Maybe he isn't just into subtle things? But I agree that that crying scene has more to do with his broken marriage (not missing her) than with JA, although I think that she has her share in it. I read that scene as his finally accepting his projected life doesn't exist anymore. Even if one isn't in love, it is very painful to let go of a marriage that represents what one thought it will be his perfect life. 

 

Well I showed to my two kids (a girl of 12 - she hadn't see any scene then, and a boy of 16 he had see a few shots) the scene when he asked to the barman if that pretty girl didn't come. My daughter asked if it was a love triangle (because KI) and both said they were in love. So... 

 

 

I also thought he was sobbing over his broken family, but not in the sense that he missed his wife.  And of course he was missing JA, too, per his conversation with Ki Hoon at his mom's house.  Another reason why I thought it had more to do with his family?  LSK probably thought, oh no, not another crying scene over my broken family again.  And then I imagine he cheekily decided to wear the same sweatshirt that he wore for a similar scene in his last drama.    Poor guy must be emotionally spent after filming the last few episodes.

 

 

My Wife is Having an Affair This Week:

[Joseph Lim]

Now that Lee Ji-eun is done with being an actress for now, she is back to being singer IU. And she ready to snatch all our wigs tomorrow/today (180519 [PERF] Holgabun Festival @ 8:30PM KST)!

I hope this show will bring in some new fans to IU.

For those new to IU, here is IU MINI-MASTER POST to help you discover IU: 

http://pilsuks.tumblr.com/post/125393217830/iu-mini-master-post

IU videos:

IU Spotify: 

 

[anipanch]

@justamom omg hahaha I'm sorry, but your husband is completely off the track  Missing his wife?? really?? The breakdown happened because of so many things, everything just weighed down on him - the fact that his marriage was broken beyond repair, he probably resigned from his position at Saman EC at that point as well and most importantly JA, who was no longer by his side. The person who knew everything about him and still supported and continued to be loyal to him had left. It was time for DH to finally realize all those bottled up emotions.

Also, I'm probably one of those people who doesn't think that DH actually loved YH in a romantic way. Let's look at his marriage realistically. All his life, he did things that his family, friends and society expected from him - obtain a good education, start working, marry a nice girl from a nice family. He simply married YH because she was the best choice and she was probably interested in him, what more was there left for him? 

And now, he is at the point where he actually after all those years defied everything he believed was expected from him. He let go of his wife and exited a very high position in a good company, that's when he breaks down. He freed himself from all the past unnecessary feels that bugged him all those years.

New DH is finally free and actually ready to pursue what he wants and not what others expect from him (That includes JA as well  )

 

P.S. Let's go easy on our precious DH, he endured so many hardships. Man literally experienced real love for a woman in his 40s and with a 21 years old at that. Of course he would freak out and try to get away. It's not easy to accept something so deep and important when you spend 43 years living such a dull life.