Add and Subtract Game

[rocat]

Arthdal Chronicles 2 is slated to premier September 9 it seems. Yay!

 

LJK and Shin See-Kyung look good in their character garbs!

 

 

https://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainment/arthdal-chronicles-2-lee-joon-gi-transforms-into-tribe-leader-and-warrior-in-new-stills-for-historical-drama-1236124

 

-2

[kokodus]

2 hours ago, Sleepy Owl said:

 

I would just say that you stand your ground and say that you need enough time to understand the guy.

Yeah...the situation now is like the guys doesn't want to talk. Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates. Last week I met one guy, we talked for about an hour, when it was time to go, he asked me what my decision was, I told him I need more time, and asked him if we can text. But he hesitated, and said their parents might not allow. I had a good impression of him up until that moment. Sighhh. Maybe he didn't like me. He could've said that straightaway, but he gave me his insta id later and said we can text here. I dont know how to comprehend this behavior. 

-2

[MayanEcho]

52 minutes ago, kokodus said:

Yeah...the situation now is like the guys doesn't want to talk. Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates. Last week I met one guy, we talked for about an hour, when it was time to go, he asked me what my decision was, I told him I need more time, and asked him if we can text. But he hesitated, and said their parents might not allow. I had a good impression of him up until that moment. Sighhh. Maybe he didn't like me. He could've said that straightaway, but he gave me his insta id later and said we can text here. I dont know how to comprehend this behavior. 

-2

 

There's nothing wrong wanting to get to know them before you decide if you wanna be married. You are, in fact, doing them a favour. You are not even asking much per your wish of 4-5 dates before saying yes (or no). An hour of talk isn't enough...they're arrogant, red flag fools if they think they're that much of a catch such that an hour talk is enough to make you commit.

 

If your parents object that you're too fussy and choosy, tell them that you'd rather be cautious than be a victim of marriage scam or end up with the worst person to be with. I've heard stories from hub's Indian colleagues, like how one's sister almost ended up as the suitor's "wife in that town", that too after demanding an apartment and a car as the girl's dowry.

 

There's nothing wrong of you wanting to be wooed and experience romance. Heh, even the most unassuming would want to have their prospective partner making an effort to impress the apple of their eye. 

 

Like come on, even birds know that, LOL!

 

 

-2

[kokodus]

Thanks so much @MayanEcho for reassuring me that I'm not the strange one here. I'm just going to take a break from all of this for a while to maintain my sanity. LOL.

-2

[partyon]

2 hours ago, kokodus said:

Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates.

 

I think 4-5 dates is too little time to get to know someone though, Ms. Koko It's not like you're buying a washing machine here that you can return to the store if you don't like it.

 

2 hours ago, kokodus said:

ast week I met one guy, we talked for about an hour, when it was time to go, he asked me what my decision was, I told him I need more time, and asked him if we can text. But he hesitated, and said their parents might not allow.

 

Don't let anyone pressure you! It's a red flag if he does and you need to run, sister.

At least this fast.

 

1 hour ago, MayanEcho said:

There's nothing wrong of you wanting to be wooed and experience romance. Heh, even the most unassuming would want to have their prospective partner making an effort to impress the apple of their eye. 

 

 

57 minutes ago, kokodus said:

Thanks so much @MayanEcho for reassuring me that I'm not the strange one here. I'm just going to take a break from all of this for a while to maintain my sanity. LOL.

 

I think you should take a break indefinitely, Ms. Koko. When are you starting to work full time? You might meet someone at work?

 

Like a non-serial killer Mustache Oppa?

 

650

[MayanEcho]

20 minutes ago, partyon said:

Like a non-serial killer Mustache Oppa?

 

Mustache or no mustache, so long that he'll be good and loyal to Ms @kokodus and supportive of her career and treats her as equal at the very least.  

 

ctto

 

-2

[Lmangla]

21 hours ago, kokodus said:

Yeah...the situation now is like the guys doesn't want to talk. Tell me one thing guys, am I the one expecting too much?!?! I feel like I'm in some weird romantic fantasy in my head and the guys these days doesn't understand it. I just want to spend some time with the guy before I say yes. By some time I mean atleast 4-5 dates.

 

@MayanEcho already explained well but just adding a few points. hope it helps.

650

 

Spoiler

we live in a time where there is no set way to the arranged marriage process. there are different thought processes happening. for some, it is all about adjustment and therefore, it does not matter who they marry as long as some basic criteria is fulfilled. they naively think they can adjust to everyone. facepalm.

now, there is the modern approach where people essentially want a mix of dating as well as arranged marriage process. love cum marriage is what they want.

then there are folks who simply want to get to know the person so that they can make informed decision and determine if this is a match that you can potentially have a long term relationship with and love. they are not necessarily looking for romance immediately but hoping for something to develop in the future over time.

there are guys who don't want to get married and so date/meet within the arranged marriage process to basically waddle to try get out of the situation. they are just there to make token effort to appease the parents.

then there are guys who actually use arranged marriage process to hook up as if it was tinder or bumble. there are also criminals who use the process to try get some money -- a type of love scam but using the traditional process.

so not everyone out there is serious or true. 

my point is that there are all sorts of people out there with their own ideas of romance and marriage. there isn't a single narrative happening at the moment. 

 

now, how do we go about what we are looking for within the arranged marriage process? -- that itself has changed and again, there is no set way at the moment. 

so some decide in one meeting like how it happened during the parents generation while others feel that isn't enough. some take 4-5 dates like you while others set a time period of dating and courtship. it could be 3 months, 6 months and even 1 year. it all depends on the families and the two people involved.

what is good in your case is that you have a time period (4-5 dates) that you would like to determine if it is a good potential match. so having your own parameters that makes you comfortable is a great start.

 

what is needed is your family also needs to be onboard with your time frame (4-5 dates) and convey that to any prospective family. have a serious discussion on why you need 4-5 dates.

I can understand you want to be courted but you have to verbalize it in a language parents understand.

• say that you want to make sure the guy is interested and not getting married for the sake of getting married or because he is too chicken to say no to his parents. say that if a guy is not willing to put in any effort to get to know you, how will he make any attempt at a fruitful relationship after marriage? especially these days, people are so busy that marriages are breaking up as the couple have no time after work to get to know each other and they essentially become roommates who hardly know each other. 
• say that you want to determine if the guy is who he is and make sure there are no red flags that could potentially cause issues down the road. say you want to determine that you will be able to adjust comfortable because the reality is that we cannot adjust or compromise to everything. so you want to ensure that your dealbreakers are not there and he has most of the dealmakers you are looking for.
• it would also be helpful to cite real life examples of people who destroy their lives because they are so obsessed with a wedding day that they hurriedly say yes. there will be plenty of such examples. just look around and mention those people. such real life examples show why it is good to wait and exercise some caution. if you don't know, ask me.  otherwise, watch our regional news. almost every other day, they will be reporting of some fraud, some crime related to a marriage gone wrong. 

 

when your folks understand your mindset, that will make the process easier for you. understand that this stage and process is another teething ground in parent-adult child development -- you both have to come to terms that you are all adults with independent opinions but how do you come together as a family nonetheless where you can agree to disagree, listen to each other even if you have varied opinions. you will have to learn how to negotiate calmly, how to communicate effectively. so it is a test and not necessarily a fun time. however, some families do become closer as they go through such conflict because you all move to a healthy adult child-parent relationship. 

 

so like @MayanEcho said, we all want to be courted. you are not wrong in wanting that. but when you talk to your parents, talk the bitter realities of life and your need for romance in practical terms-- that they will get behind. 

 

 

[rocat]

@kokodus

 

I read about the experiences you shared about matchmaking and the very wise advice given with interest. The only other time I had such insight into the process is from the AuntySima matchmaker show on Netflix and my friends. 
 

I guess it’s a struggle between keeping to culture/traditions vs modernization of the same. It seems to me that there are changes but still, mindsets pertaining to arranged marriages fall far from the non-arranged variety. 
 

I have Indian friends who do the latter much to the horror of their parents (and much drama) but their partners are non-Indian. So, there is at least one less fight to deal with. Most of the time, they work out but there are some that do not.  
 

Non-arranged marriages, freedom to love, love then marriage ideals do not always make sense. There are so many examples of how they have spectacularly failed. 
 

Finding the right person who can accompany you on the path makes all the difference though - that’s what’s difficult. Sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it takes awhile. Sometimes, you have to fight a battle to win the war. But bear with the ups and downs, stick to your guns, you will prevail!

 

 

-2
 

[gm4queen]

guys!

 

Dropping by after work. How is everyone doing? Hope you all are having a good time!

 

Currently working on a youtube short and I'll share the link when I am done. And it's all about my Daniel oppa. Ha ha ha! Hope you guys won't mind me. The happiness is sharing love with my lovely friends!

 

I've been reading @kokodus chingu's posts and I see I am not the only one who wants to spend some time with my partner before marriage! I believe that we should get married when we are actually ready for it, right?? Not for others' sake. I think you should carefully monitor him whether he really likes you or not. I mean the guy who really likes you would stay by your side forever. But the guy who isn't interested in you might drop you off on the way because you are not in his heart. The choice is yours to make, chingu! Hope you take a wise decision. Fighting! Sending virtual hugs for you.

 

I'll be back again... Gotta go finish off the youtube short!

 

+2

[partyon]

 

Am so bored. Nothing to watch. Am thinking of starting a rewatch. Flower of Evil maybe? Or Full House?

 

652

[kokodus]

@MayanEcho @partyon  @Lmangla @rocat @gm4queen Thank you so much for your wise words. And thank you for bearing with my long rants. Haha. I'm just taking a deep breath and let the nature take its course, which would be the best decision for my own mental health. Thank you guys. 

 

47 minutes ago, partyon said:

 

 

Am so bored. Nothing to watch. Am thinking of starting a rewatch. Flower of Evil maybe? Or Full House?

 

652

Full house or maybe BOF?

-2

[Lmangla]

55 minutes ago, kokodus said:

@MayanEcho @partyon  @Lmangla @rocat @gm4queen Thank you so much for your wise words. And thank you for bearing with my long rants. Haha. I'm just taking a deep breath and let the nature take its course, which would be the best decision for my own mental health. Thank you guys. 

 

Full house or maybe BOF?

-2

take your time; things will happen when they are meant to. and yea, when you are not anxious, you will be able to make good decisions. you are a smart girl! 

 

if there was ever a news about the wisdom of being cautious... like the police in the story, am not able to figure out how he managed to scam so many women.  fella seems to be even more successful in duping than that swinder fella in netflix doc. for those wondering about the money, police estimate loot of about 330,000 euros. 

https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/bangalore/15-weddings-rs-3-crore-haul-how-bengaluru-man-duped-women-for-10-yrs-until-arrest-8842726/

 

652

[kokodus]

47 minutes ago, Lmangla said:

 

 

if there was ever a news about the wisdom of being cautious... like the police in the story, am not able to figure out how he managed to scam so many women.  fella seems to be even more successful in duping than that swinder fella in netflix doc. for those wondering about the money, police estimate loot of about 330,000 euros. 

https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/bangalore/15-weddings-rs-3-crore-haul-how-bengaluru-man-duped-women-for-10-yrs-until-arrest-8842726/

 

652

Wow, this is the reason why I'm scared about arranged marriages. I'm glad that I've a close group of smart friends who i use to do a background check on all the alliances i get apart from the regular check my parents do. I've also strictly told my parents that I won't marry anyone who demands a dowry. But still I'm scared. Sighhh. As I'm going deep into this, I'm really starting to realize that it would be better to live alone, you know.

-2

[partyon]

5 minutes ago, kokodus said:

As I'm going deep into this, I'm really starting to realize that it would be better to live alone, you know.

 

Ms. Koko, living alone is daebak! Total freedom!

 

You as the hopeless romantic should go for a love marriage. Just keep a look out for hunky doctors and dentists and patients. hehe

 

 

Sigh. Tried to get into Prison Playbook but got distracted after 1 episode. I think I will start on a rewatch anyway. Gotta check out what Netflix has to offer. Full House looking kind of fun - needs some nostalgia right now.

 

@larus @joccu

https://netizenbuzz.blogspot.com/2023/08/fifty-fifty-refuse-to-settle-with.html

 

652

[gm4queen]

26 minutes ago, kokodus said:

As I'm going deep into this, I'm really starting to realize that it would be better to live alone, you know.

 

Hey, chingu! You got it so right. Just look at me. I am almost 33 and I am so enjoying being single. Just do whatever I like. I am the boss of my life...

 

+2

[larus]

On 8/16/2023 at 2:26 PM, Sleepy Owl said:

How is First Responders Chingu? I have it in my watchlist as well, but didn't go for when I came to know that they had scheduled a Part 2 for it to be aired some months later. 

 

I am yet to watch any drama from the Reply series 

I watched the first season just before the 2nd season was about to be broadcast. It is OK but I am not pleased with some things in the second season. I can't say this drama gives me what I want. Even with Jirisan, I wanted a drama about rescue team and not a mystery/ procedural drama. I will finish the series but I expected more from the writing. 

 

I've read about Reply series a long time ago but I managed to watch just Reply 1988. I liked it. The characters, the nostalgia of the early 90's, the friendship. Next I will watch Reply 1994 and then 1997.

 

I also liked Revenant.  

 

+2

[Learry]

 

 

ice cream

 

 

 

658

[kokodus]

20 hours ago, gm4queen said:

 

Just do whatever I like. I am the boss of my life... 

 

+2

That sounds so good!!! Envious of you for sure!

-2

[partyon]

Chingus, I started on Mask Girl. It dropped today on Netflix. I have completed 2 episodes.

 

It's a lot darker than expected and has quite a lot of R rated scenes (aka sex, masturbation and murders).

 

In any case, am surprised @gm4queen hasn't been here to promote her Daniel oppa yet. Dude plays a sleaze bag manager.

 

@Ameera Ali he even shows his full behind assets in a "love making" scene with the lady on the office table (am trying to word this in a less R rated way). Knowing you, twin, you will be interested to check the assets out on @gm4queen's oppa.

 

@joccu @sadthe1st @Sleepy Owl @agenth This drama will be right up your alley.

@sweetroad @larus @LeftCoastOppa @rocat @4evrkdrama 50-50 chance you will like it.

@kokodus @confusedheart don't bother - not a rom-com or a slice of life drama

@Learry @MayanEcho @Lmangla @rocher22 Your call. It depends on your mood.

 

Here's the trailer:

 

Fun fact. The FL Momi is played by 3 different actresses. One before plastic surgery, one after plastic surgery, one in jail.

 

 

658

[gm4queen]

guys!

 

Dropping by so late today as @partyon chingu mentioned! I've been working since so early in the morning and I TOTALLY forgot all about that Mask Girl is premiering today. How is it even possible??  And it's a big surprise to me that you started watching it??

 

Ha ha ha.. I've been laughing so hard at this scene that @partyon chingu asked me to photoshop Daniel's abs since he doesn't seem to have any sometime ago?? Well, I don't even have to bother myself. The dude himself is photoshopping his own abs in Mask Girl. I wonder if you were impressed by his hot looks...

 

 

Gosh, I need to take a break from work and focus on my Daniel oppa! But I have to work even tomorrow. But feeling so happy after a longtime that he's finally appearing in a drama, a Netflix drama! Hope the international viewers would adore his looks and everything!! Ha ha ha...

 

I'll be back.. Still catching up with the episodes! Hope you guys have fun..

 

+2