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Guest EnYingChen

Ninshark said: I have a crush on a girl, I asked her to be my gf, but she declined. she told me the reason why, and it was honestly really sad. she's been mistreated a lot in the past, and I feel so bad that I just want to be there for her and make her happy. But I'm afraid she'll mistake my kindness for me just wanting to pursue her.

If you girls know a guy likes you, and he's suddenly being really nice, would you girls also think that he's just trying to get with you, and have another chance even though you rejected him already?

any suggestion on how I should go about being there for her without making it look like I'm just buttering her up?

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Ninshark said: I have a crush on a girl, I asked her to be my gf, but she declined. she told me the reason why, and it was honestly really sad. she's been mistreated a lot in the past, and I feel so bad that I just want to be there for her and make her happy. But I'm afraid she'll mistake my kindness for me just wanting to pursue her.

If you girls know a guy likes you, and he's suddenly being really nice, would you girls also think that he's just trying to get with you, and have another chance even though you rejected him already?

any suggestion on how I should go about being there for her without making it look like I'm just buttering her up?

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Guest writerstale

Why does a woman meet a guy, is in a relationship, but pretends to be single?
Also, if a girl has been severely mistreated by the previous guy why does she take it out on the guy who treats her nicely; but not doormat nicely?

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Guest severus

To the girls with male best friends (and vice versa)

I see a lot of good friends stay together even when both of them get into separate relationships. When I was single, I was close to a lot of my girl friends, but when I got into a relationship, those friendships faded into more of something that feels like us being acquaintances. I hesitate to attribute it to something like "they were only your friends 'cause you were single" because the majority of them were already in relationships and I am good friends with their boyfriends as well. I was looking forward to having deeper & closer friendships with a few of them because they are just that awesome, but that all fizzled out once they or I get into a relationship. To be clear, I am NOT romantically attracted to any of them. I just appreciate their company and how we can shoot the richard simmons and talk about anything and everything.

I will take responsibility for the fact that I give my own girlfriend priority but I still try and reach out to them, but more often than not they're busy or unable to hang out. Maybe it's just been awhile since we've done any "friends" stuff and maybe they (as well as I) have fallen into the relationship routine where we'll hang out once in a blue moon? I suppose getting into a 9-6pm career life doesn't help either.

I have friends (aka "the guys") that I regularly hang out with but not really anyone (anymore) to go to talk to about anything and everything. And it's beginning to suck.

It's a difficult balance to attain, a lot of the time it's out of respect for the girlfriend, the amount of girlfriends out there that are upset that their man's female friends aren't respecting boundaries ....

I used to be able to watch Netflix all weekend with a friend in our jammies and discuss life lol. But I don't think his current girlfriend would appreciate that very much. "Who's this ho and why isn't she going home?"

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Guest ccco

hello all :) 

wondering if i could possibly get any advice on my problem...confused if i led a guy on (or if he's interested)

so basically, i met a guy through a mutual friend and we basically had a fun time chatting that night about really pointless stuffs. we exchanged numbers (mainly because a bunch of people did, so i added up with his number)
he texted me like everyday for a week now, lol since that night, but i should point out he was always the one initiating (not me) and we don't text every minute, usually i take 1-3+ hours to reply. also, our conversations were as pointless as that night's, nothing serious and nothing personal. it's more like idle chat about school, being tired, eating etc etc

moreover, there's no flirting on my part, we tease one another but its mainly like him pointing out im such a pig, still eating after midnight etc etc and i retort back by saying he goes to bed early since he's getting old now etc etc (he's 2 years older than me, i'm still in university, and he graduated and has been working now)
so we both love eating, particularly me, so he invited me for brunch to a place i said i never been, and i said sure, but i did make sure i had to leave after as i got other plans. so that day, we had brunch and while waiting for our table, we walked around window shopping since he said he wanted to look at a pair of shoes and so i complied. everything was normal, there wasn't that flirtatious atmosphere or anything. after eating and when the bill came, i tried to pay but he just brushed me off. i was adamant about paying for myself since i didn't think of this as a date or anything but he just shoved my hands away, saying it's fine. i did comment that he has no reason to pay for me, but i didn't want to make a fuss so i agreed, and commented that next time i'll treat then. and before i left, he gave me a box of cookies that i really wanted, he said he got it since he ordered them for him and his co-worker, he thought he would give me one as well. i was really thankful and  left lol, i did offer to pay him back, but again, he said no it's fine.

but my friend (not our mutual friend) has made it a point that he may have feelings for me...
since he has offered me a ride to work (jokingly), got me the cookies, paid for me, and when i got sick, he even offered if i needed anything (since he could get it for me, as he lived near me)

but the thing is, the topic of being romantically interested never occurred at all. we never discussed our personal lives, except of me being really spoiled by my parents etc etc, that's as personal as it got. i wasn't acting girly or anything, i even spilled that i'm terribly spoiled and etc etc, basically we never talked about other guys or other girls, our conversations were always really simple with us joking around. 

and again, i don't believe i led him on either, since i never replied him asap and there really wasn't anything flirting going on, if anything it was mostly making jokes at his expense lol 
but my friend got me a bit self conscious now, so i'm not sure if i'm thinking too much or not. there's going to be an outing for our mutual friend, a picnic, soon which he's in charge of planning, and i asked if our mutual friend is going, since i'm mainly going for her (since she'll be leaving in the summer), and he replied saying so i'm not important? << not sure if i'm paranoid, but this something worried me...

am i thinking too much? how do i let him know i'm just interested as a friend...without directly saying things like oh, i'm not interested etc etc since we never even talked about things like this, i don't want to act based on assumption that he's interested in me, when he might not be...
we only texted back and forth like almost 2 weeks, and went out for brunch once, and nothing more. i thought he was just a really friendly person, and i don't usually ignore people's texts, since i don't like it when people don't reply me..lol so i always reply if he messaged me. but that's just being polite guy or girl, not me being flirtatious right?

any input would be appreciated !
thank you in advance :)

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I'm confused. What makes you think you lead him on? We'll maybe he's just a nice guy. Then again, he might have like you too. If he have not confessed to you then just forget it. Eventually he will too @ccco.

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Guest rekashin

Hello fellow astronauts,

I have a question for the ladies(or anyone :P) out there.

Ive been going out with this fine lady for about a couple months now. We have been going out a lot, getting to know each other and it feels surreal how we both have the same exact interests (Gaming, music, and all them good stuff).

As time went on, we got closer and closer and I really have fallen for her. The thing is, I haven't.. actually said the "I love you" to her which is sad because I really do want to tell her.

I also think that she already considers us boyfriend/girlfriend (I know this because when we *coughed* she said something in regards to her being my girlfriend) but I haven't really made it official or even asked her (which is something id like to do).

So my questions are:

Do you think that I should say the I love her in a special way or should I just be spontaneous about it?

or am I just over thinking things and go with the flow?

Edit: Also in my mind, if she considers us BF/GF then is it worth telling her and making it official?

I just don't know if she wants me to say anything or to just go with it.

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@rekashin That kind of happened with my boyfriend and I. I wasn't really looking for a relationship and he knew it, so it took us months before we actually became 'official' and a few months for us to exchange I love you's. Since it was me that didn't want to become official, I was actually the one that essentially "asked him out". It was really a spur of the moment thing and I'm glad it wasn't super premeditated and over thought.

I personally think that it's a bit of a jump to say that you love her without even establishing whether or not you're officially a couple, but maybe telling her that you love her means you don't have to ask her out lol Despite this, I do think it's important to become official, as silly as it is, just because dating can mean different things to different people, especially at this age.

When it comes down to it, you know her best, and if she's the type of person who likes grand gestures, then maybe try to do something sweet for her, but if she isn't, just saying it spur of the moment should be fine IMO.

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Hello fellow astronauts,

I have a question for the ladies(or anyone :P) out there.

Ive been going out with this fine lady for about a couple months now. We have been going out a lot, getting to know each other and it feels surreal how we both have the same exact interests (Gaming, music, and all them good stuff).

As time went on, we got closer and closer and I really have fallen for her. The thing is, I haven't.. actually said the "I love you" to her which is sad because I really do want to tell her.

I also think that she already considers us boyfriend/girlfriend (I know this because when we *coughed* she said something in regards to her being my girlfriend) but I haven't really made it official or even asked her (which is something id like to do).

So my questions are:

Do you think that I should say the I love her in a special way or should I just be spontaneous about it?

or am I just over thinking things and go with the flow?

Edit: Also in my mind, if she considers us BF/GF then is it worth telling her and making it official?

I just don't know if she wants me to say anything or to just go with it.

Cute! So glad you are in a healthy relationship now.

Do you feel like it is necessary to ask her officially? how do you think she will react? will she be happy or upset because you guys are only"official" after you asked?

Regarding the declaration of love. It depends on the girl. Some like grand gestures, some like to keep it low key. What type do you think she is?
Also, do beware, some girls may expect the same level of grand gestures if you set it up at the beginning of the relationship!

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Guest EnYingChen

rekashin said: Hello fellow astronauts,

I have a question for the ladies(or anyone :P) out there.
Ive been going out with this fine lady for about a couple months now. We have been going out a lot, getting to know each other and it feels surreal how we both have the same exact interests (Gaming, music, and all them good stuff).

As time went on, we got closer and closer and I really have fallen for her. The thing is, I haven't.. actually said the "I love you" to her which is sad because I really do want to tell her.
I also think that she already considers us boyfriend/girlfriend (I know this because when we *coughed* she said something in regards to her being my girlfriend) but I haven't really made it official or even asked her (which is something id like to do).
So my questions are:
Do you think that I should say the I love her in a special way or should I just be spontaneous about it?
or am I just over thinking things and go with the flow?

Edit: Also in my mind, if she considers us BF/GF then is it worth telling her and making it official?
I just don't know if she wants me to say anything or to just go with it.

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Guest rekashin

Well guys, its official... or has been official :P.

Funny story is just last week (Friday) my now GF apparently told her mom that I am her boyfriend. It honestly felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. So I'm guessing it is official :D.

jake-and-amir-shopping-o.gif

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Guest ragingsushi_stv

having fun reading this read :)
question: noticed a cutie looking at me a couple of time (pretty sure she doesn't have a crush on me, prob just think I'm cute?). theres only 2 classes left, how would you approach her (ie. make small talk) and ask her out before the semester end and I never see her again?

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If you say to a guy, "We can't be friends, if you keep flirting with me."  [say you're in a long distance relationship, and say you've been hitting on this guy but now for whatever reason, you've put up these walls because your boyfriend somehow found out].  
And he says, "Okay.  You're right, we can't be.  I can't help it, you're too attractive."  Would you react positively or negatively?  Intrigue?  
What risk would it be that all contact would actually stop?  

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Guest YaboyBill

What does it mean when a girl says "I'm just not ready for dating"

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depends on the situation. these couldve been the reason1/ she doesnt seen you in that way2/ she had her heartbroken recently and she wants to take time for it to heal 3/ she doesnt want to be in a relationship or tie down
~~~ladiesso! my bf has always been texting me good morning/ night messages, but recently (this week and especially today) he have, and he havnt even respond back either. I know warriors game is today but he couldve at least text me back at least something!im planning to wait it out til the end of today/ tmr morning and if he doesnt then I am call him askingits getting weird because he always listen to me. His texts sometimes come in slow but never not texting me for the whole day

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Just wondering. I know this already, but I just want to hear second thoughts on it.

Why would a guy you used to like a gazillion years ago finally realized that he likes you now?

Since I found out he likes my friend back then, I stopped liking him and moved on. My friend doesn't like him though.

So, why is he interested now? Will you consider dating him, knowing that he used to like your friend?

 

 

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