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Hey girls, I need your advice on something. I recently started to like this guy and I just found out that a good friend of mine had a major crush on him last year and she's recently gotten over it (or so I have been told). She never told me of her crush on him because I didn't know him at the time. Her crush on him was, from beginning to end, one-sided and she knew that he didn't feel the same way. 
If you were my friend, would you want me to tell you about my feelings for him? I keep going back and forth between telling her and not telling her but I imagine, if it all works out and we end up dating, I wouldn't want her to be ambushed by the news. I don't think she'd be bitter, but she might want to know, right? Help me haha 

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@severus @rosierosie So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane coura

Nah, you just need experience

RUN! RUN FAR AWAY FROM THIS GIRL!!! 1) She had her friends telling you that she liked you, when she had a boyfriend. 2) She got a new boyfriend very quickly after breaking up. 3) She go

Guest mwahai

sunnyworld said: Hey girls, I need your advice on something. I recently started to like this guy and I just found out that a good friend of mine had a major crush on him last year and she's recently gotten over it (or so I have been told). She never told me of her crush on him because I didn't know him at the time. Her crush on him was, from beginning to end, one-sided and she knew that he didn't feel the same way. 
If you were my friend, would you want me to tell you about my feelings for him? I keep going back and forth between telling her and not telling her but I imagine, if it all works out and we end up dating, I wouldn't want her to be ambushed by the news. I don't think she'd be bitter, but she might want to know, right? Help me haha 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey sorry i need some advice, So first of all i have a girlfriend, we've been togther for over 2 years. A couple of months ago a random guy she didnt know randomly added her on facebook and they started getting to know each other and yeah i am fine with that but the problem is he only added my girlfriend at first because he was  *looking for a girlfriend* but when he found out my girlfriend is taken he still try to get close to her. So they talked for a couple of months and he kept asking her to call everyday and if she can hang out with him often and hug each other. She showed me their convos, i never asked her too though but she wanted to showed me anyways. In those convos he kept calling my gf cute constantly and saying he wish he can have a gf like her and that really bothered me even more. She assured me that there was nothing going on and she wont hug him too because she knows im not okay with it. It's not that i dont trust my girlfriend but the guys intention is really bothering me. But today i found out my girlfriend hug him and i felt really angry cause she went back on her words, I don't know what to do or if i even have the right to be mad? Can you girls give me some advice? i haven't spoken to her about it yet because i dont know what to say or if i'm just over reacting :/
:-< :-<

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I have a crush on a girl, I asked her to be my gf, but she declined. she told me the reason why, and it was honestly really sad. she's been mistreated a lot in the past, and I feel so bad that I just want to be there for her and make her happy. But I'm afraid she'll mistake my kindness for me just wanting to pursue her.

If you girls know a guy likes you, and he's suddenly being really nice, would you girls also think that he's just trying to get with you, and have another chance even though you rejected him already?

any suggestion on how I should go about being there for her without making it look like I'm just buttering her up?

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Ninshark said: If you girls know a guy likes you, and he's suddenly being really nice, would you girls also think that he's just trying to get with you, and have another chance even though you rejected him already?

any suggestion on how I should go about being there for her without making it look like I'm just buttering her up?

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jennibear01 said: thi_mnguyen_at_hotmail.com_stv said: Hey sorry i need some advice, So first of all i have a girlfriend, we've been togther for over 2 years. A couple of months ago a random guy she didnt know randomly added her on facebook and they started getting to know each other and yeah i am fine with that but the problem is he only added my girlfriend at first because he was  *looking for a girlfriend* but when he found out my girlfriend is taken he still try to get close to her. So they talked for a couple of months and he kept asking her to call everyday and if she can hang out with him often and hug each other. She showed me their convos, i never asked her too though but she wanted to showed me anyways. In those convos he kept calling my gf cute constantly and saying he wish he can have a gf like her and that really bothered me even more. She assured me that there was nothing going on and she wont hug him too because she knows im not okay with it. It's not that i dont trust my girlfriend but the guys intention is really bothering me. But today i found out my girlfriend hug him and i felt really angry cause she went back on her words, I don't know what to do or if i even have the right to be mad? Can you girls give me some advice? i haven't spoken to her about it yet because i dont know what to say or if i'm just over reacting :/
:-< :-<

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thi_mnguyen_at_hotmail.com_stv said: yeah i talked to her about it yesteday that im uncomfortable with the guys intention. But she just thinks that i dont trust her and said that i should trust her.  And she  got upset and i apologize but deep down i feel upset too because no matter how much i try to explain to her she doesn't understand how hard it is for me

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I have been talking to this guy for around 5-6 months. He told me a lot of personal past/recent experience/things, treats me really well and has put in a lot of effort to communicate/ making whatever we have now progress into something more (I think according to him) However we only see each other religiously once a week sometimes slightly over a week but he always make it up to me. so how should I suggested him to hangout with me twice a week? alsomonths ago, he suggested on doing double dates with my friend after I told him that I have been a third wheel for the past few weeks now. My respond was "okay, we'll see" months after I took his advice and suggested to him to do a double date TWICE with his friends but his respond was "you will" yet recently when I sneakily asked him to bring me around his friends he told me "it is a big step, I am not ready. Please give me more time" after that incident I havnt "suggested" it anymore but our previous hangout he brought up a conversation in regard to his family and said "i want you to meet my family. They will like you" I dont think I am ready to meet his family. Friends yes! but family! I am nervous and confused !! what is it that he wants? one day he told me hes not ready then the next he just gives me hope every time we hungout he always either hold my hands, bring my hands to his and hold it or just rest his hand on my lap while driving. he always hold my hands or just make sure that people know we are a couple. ..however his actions and words really confused me !! there are times where we would bumped into his friends when we hungout, but i did not tag along with him when he go to say hello to him because I respect his boundary and unreadiness to bring me into his world. what should I do? Did I do the right thing by just sitting there while he went to say hi to his friend or should I tag along to be polite??

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Guest EnYingChen

Ninshark said: I have a crush on a girl, I asked her to be my gf, but she declined. she told me the reason why, and it was honestly really sad. she's been mistreated a lot in the past, and I feel so bad that I just want to be there for her and make her happy. But I'm afraid she'll mistake my kindness for me just wanting to pursue her.

If you girls know a guy likes you, and he's suddenly being really nice, would you girls also think that he's just trying to get with you, and have another chance even though you rejected him already?

any suggestion on how I should go about being there for her without making it look like I'm just buttering her up?

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Ninshark said: I have a crush on a girl, I asked her to be my gf, but she declined. she told me the reason why, and it was honestly really sad. she's been mistreated a lot in the past, and I feel so bad that I just want to be there for her and make her happy. But I'm afraid she'll mistake my kindness for me just wanting to pursue her.

If you girls know a guy likes you, and he's suddenly being really nice, would you girls also think that he's just trying to get with you, and have another chance even though you rejected him already?

any suggestion on how I should go about being there for her without making it look like I'm just buttering her up?

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest writerstale

Why does a woman meet a guy, is in a relationship, but pretends to be single?
Also, if a girl has been severely mistreated by the previous guy why does she take it out on the guy who treats her nicely; but not doormat nicely?

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest severus

To the girls with male best friends (and vice versa)

I see a lot of good friends stay together even when both of them get into separate relationships. When I was single, I was close to a lot of my girl friends, but when I got into a relationship, those friendships faded into more of something that feels like us being acquaintances. I hesitate to attribute it to something like "they were only your friends 'cause you were single" because the majority of them were already in relationships and I am good friends with their boyfriends as well. I was looking forward to having deeper & closer friendships with a few of them because they are just that awesome, but that all fizzled out once they or I get into a relationship. To be clear, I am NOT romantically attracted to any of them. I just appreciate their company and how we can shoot the richard simmons and talk about anything and everything.

I will take responsibility for the fact that I give my own girlfriend priority but I still try and reach out to them, but more often than not they're busy or unable to hang out. Maybe it's just been awhile since we've done any "friends" stuff and maybe they (as well as I) have fallen into the relationship routine where we'll hang out once in a blue moon? I suppose getting into a 9-6pm career life doesn't help either.

I have friends (aka "the guys") that I regularly hang out with but not really anyone (anymore) to go to talk to about anything and everything. And it's beginning to suck.

It's a difficult balance to attain, a lot of the time it's out of respect for the girlfriend, the amount of girlfriends out there that are upset that their man's female friends aren't respecting boundaries ....

I used to be able to watch Netflix all weekend with a friend in our jammies and discuss life lol. But I don't think his current girlfriend would appreciate that very much. "Who's this ho and why isn't she going home?"

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hello all :) 

wondering if i could possibly get any advice on my problem...confused if i led a guy on (or if he's interested)

so basically, i met a guy through a mutual friend and we basically had a fun time chatting that night about really pointless stuffs. we exchanged numbers (mainly because a bunch of people did, so i added up with his number)
he texted me like everyday for a week now, lol since that night, but i should point out he was always the one initiating (not me) and we don't text every minute, usually i take 1-3+ hours to reply. also, our conversations were as pointless as that night's, nothing serious and nothing personal. it's more like idle chat about school, being tired, eating etc etc

moreover, there's no flirting on my part, we tease one another but its mainly like him pointing out im such a pig, still eating after midnight etc etc and i retort back by saying he goes to bed early since he's getting old now etc etc (he's 2 years older than me, i'm still in university, and he graduated and has been working now)
so we both love eating, particularly me, so he invited me for brunch to a place i said i never been, and i said sure, but i did make sure i had to leave after as i got other plans. so that day, we had brunch and while waiting for our table, we walked around window shopping since he said he wanted to look at a pair of shoes and so i complied. everything was normal, there wasn't that flirtatious atmosphere or anything. after eating and when the bill came, i tried to pay but he just brushed me off. i was adamant about paying for myself since i didn't think of this as a date or anything but he just shoved my hands away, saying it's fine. i did comment that he has no reason to pay for me, but i didn't want to make a fuss so i agreed, and commented that next time i'll treat then. and before i left, he gave me a box of cookies that i really wanted, he said he got it since he ordered them for him and his co-worker, he thought he would give me one as well. i was really thankful and  left lol, i did offer to pay him back, but again, he said no it's fine.

but my friend (not our mutual friend) has made it a point that he may have feelings for me...
since he has offered me a ride to work (jokingly), got me the cookies, paid for me, and when i got sick, he even offered if i needed anything (since he could get it for me, as he lived near me)

but the thing is, the topic of being romantically interested never occurred at all. we never discussed our personal lives, except of me being really spoiled by my parents etc etc, that's as personal as it got. i wasn't acting girly or anything, i even spilled that i'm terribly spoiled and etc etc, basically we never talked about other guys or other girls, our conversations were always really simple with us joking around. 

and again, i don't believe i led him on either, since i never replied him asap and there really wasn't anything flirting going on, if anything it was mostly making jokes at his expense lol 
but my friend got me a bit self conscious now, so i'm not sure if i'm thinking too much or not. there's going to be an outing for our mutual friend, a picnic, soon which he's in charge of planning, and i asked if our mutual friend is going, since i'm mainly going for her (since she'll be leaving in the summer), and he replied saying so i'm not important? << not sure if i'm paranoid, but this something worried me...

am i thinking too much? how do i let him know i'm just interested as a friend...without directly saying things like oh, i'm not interested etc etc since we never even talked about things like this, i don't want to act based on assumption that he's interested in me, when he might not be...
we only texted back and forth like almost 2 weeks, and went out for brunch once, and nothing more. i thought he was just a really friendly person, and i don't usually ignore people's texts, since i don't like it when people don't reply me..lol so i always reply if he messaged me. but that's just being polite guy or girl, not me being flirtatious right?

any input would be appreciated !
thank you in advance :)
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I'm confused. What makes you think you lead him on? We'll maybe he's just a nice guy. Then again, he might have like you too. If he have not confessed to you then just forget it. Eventually he will too @ccco.

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Guest rekashin

Hello fellow astronauts,

I have a question for the ladies(or anyone :P) out there.

Ive been going out with this fine lady for about a couple months now. We have been going out a lot, getting to know each other and it feels surreal how we both have the same exact interests (Gaming, music, and all them good stuff).

As time went on, we got closer and closer and I really have fallen for her. The thing is, I haven't.. actually said the "I love you" to her which is sad because I really do want to tell her.

I also think that she already considers us boyfriend/girlfriend (I know this because when we *coughed* she said something in regards to her being my girlfriend) but I haven't really made it official or even asked her (which is something id like to do).

So my questions are:

Do you think that I should say the I love her in a special way or should I just be spontaneous about it?

or am I just over thinking things and go with the flow?

Edit: Also in my mind, if she considers us BF/GF then is it worth telling her and making it official?

I just don't know if she wants me to say anything or to just go with it.

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@rekashin That kind of happened with my boyfriend and I. I wasn't really looking for a relationship and he knew it, so it took us months before we actually became 'official' and a few months for us to exchange I love you's. Since it was me that didn't want to become official, I was actually the one that essentially "asked him out". It was really a spur of the moment thing and I'm glad it wasn't super premeditated and over thought.

I personally think that it's a bit of a jump to say that you love her without even establishing whether or not you're officially a couple, but maybe telling her that you love her means you don't have to ask her out lol Despite this, I do think it's important to become official, as silly as it is, just because dating can mean different things to different people, especially at this age.

When it comes down to it, you know her best, and if she's the type of person who likes grand gestures, then maybe try to do something sweet for her, but if she isn't, just saying it spur of the moment should be fine IMO.

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Hello fellow astronauts,

I have a question for the ladies(or anyone :P) out there.

Ive been going out with this fine lady for about a couple months now. We have been going out a lot, getting to know each other and it feels surreal how we both have the same exact interests (Gaming, music, and all them good stuff).

As time went on, we got closer and closer and I really have fallen for her. The thing is, I haven't.. actually said the "I love you" to her which is sad because I really do want to tell her.

I also think that she already considers us boyfriend/girlfriend (I know this because when we *coughed* she said something in regards to her being my girlfriend) but I haven't really made it official or even asked her (which is something id like to do).

So my questions are:

Do you think that I should say the I love her in a special way or should I just be spontaneous about it?

or am I just over thinking things and go with the flow?

Edit: Also in my mind, if she considers us BF/GF then is it worth telling her and making it official?

I just don't know if she wants me to say anything or to just go with it.

Cute! So glad you are in a healthy relationship now.

Do you feel like it is necessary to ask her officially? how do you think she will react? will she be happy or upset because you guys are only"official" after you asked?

Regarding the declaration of love. It depends on the girl. Some like grand gestures, some like to keep it low key. What type do you think she is?
Also, do beware, some girls may expect the same level of grand gestures if you set it up at the beginning of the relationship!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest EnYingChen

rekashin said: Hello fellow astronauts,

I have a question for the ladies(or anyone :P) out there.
Ive been going out with this fine lady for about a couple months now. We have been going out a lot, getting to know each other and it feels surreal how we both have the same exact interests (Gaming, music, and all them good stuff).

As time went on, we got closer and closer and I really have fallen for her. The thing is, I haven't.. actually said the "I love you" to her which is sad because I really do want to tell her.
I also think that she already considers us boyfriend/girlfriend (I know this because when we *coughed* she said something in regards to her being my girlfriend) but I haven't really made it official or even asked her (which is something id like to do).
So my questions are:
Do you think that I should say the I love her in a special way or should I just be spontaneous about it?
or am I just over thinking things and go with the flow?

Edit: Also in my mind, if she considers us BF/GF then is it worth telling her and making it official?
I just don't know if she wants me to say anything or to just go with it.

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