[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[confusedheart]

 

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Quick Poll - A K-Drama Addict's Guide to Popular Korean Words and Phrases!
 

So how many words have you picked up since you started watching K-dramas?  Find out by taking a short quiz. Vote for the words you are inadverently using in your daily conversation with your non K-drama watching chingus and driving them crazy. Let us know how you fared. 

 

 

 

re: Your friendly neighbourhood EO team 

 

@confusedheart @partyon @agenth and @Sleepy Owl

[Raymond]

On 6/12/2023 at 9:32 PM, sweetroad said:

 

Oh my goodness, I was laughing SO hard at that scene. There are other scenes coming up (I can think of two in particular) that rivaled that one in their creativity and hilarity. Let me know when you finish the show and we can laugh together. Enjoy the show!

 

 

Yes!!

 

 

Good point. He'd rather have her avoid the whole subject, but he obviously takes it to heart so much when she's encouraging him (Fighting!), telling him he's a good person (I feel like he has a bit of a Mark Darcy smile in that moment, too - at the very end of Ep 12 when she says he's a decent person), and when she says she just wants him to be happy in the shack. How can he not be affected by these things? And yet he can't fully accept her feelings or reciprocate until he's free from his marriage, as you described. So it's all bittersweet until he can finally be happy with JA at the end. And then we get THE biggest smile of all from him for sure.

 

 

Totally agree. The more I watch MM, the more I appreciate the morality of PHY, KWS, Chairman Jang, and PDH. I'm sure there are others in and around the show that don't come to mind right now. @actionscript has talked about the fact, too, that JA never did get one cent from DH in order to pay back her debt. The story kept them equals, and it was immoral Do Joon Young who wanted the whole scandal between DH and JA to be that DH coerced her into a dating relationship.

 

 

The people I know who resisted shipping DH and JA were those who only watched the show once, and had no interest in watching it again even though they praised it the first time around. They were uncomfortable with any loveline because of the age gap, because of JA's vulnerability, or because they were still hoping for DH and YH to reconcile in the end. I can see where they're coming from because that's exactly how I was after I'd only watched the show once. 

 

For those who watch the show more than once, it's easier to pick up the clues the next time around that DH 1) loves JA, and 2) DH and YH get a divorce in the end, which is foreshadowed and hinted at many, many times all throughout the story.

 

So we should just encourage everyone to watch it at least twice .

 

 

Even though I know what I felt and wished for after 1st watch, I was simply left wondering what everything actually meant and supposed to have happened. Without all the fans' analysis from the different forums, is it at all possible for anyone to catch/understand all those signs metaphor etc by watching it like a normal drama?

Just noticed in the early part of epi 3, SH texted DH admiring there is a young female secretly in love with him in the office and wish to reborn as DH in next life, and DH didn't sent any response! To the 3 brothers including DH, without knowing exactly the bribe money's real story, this would be the only explanation! And even KH already warned DH strongly to keep a clear distance from a dangerous JA (would be hugely damaging to his career with any sort of relationship with a young female subordinate), he right away had a private expensive dinner with her without hesitation, seems no one can tell him what to do once regarding JA. Is that strange if his feeling is pure platonic?

In the mind of SH and KH, JA would always be the special girl, very poor, most honest, who thrown  away the bribe money, which could be assumed to be the issue when DH told everyone in JH's bar that JA made him a director. The brothers would have the highest respect on JA no doubt. Can one imagine SH not telling the community friends how this special girl made DH a director?

JA's heart of steel also shaken the 1st time by DH's first 'thank you' in the train after the dinner. She out-smarted, overpowered everyone in the office, that's how the PD/writer resolved age gap issue which is the problem if the older one dominated the young one.

JA confirmed the affair between JY and YH by receiving no response from JY on her question why picking an middle aged woman as lover. Someone could possibly list all incidents in MM when no firm response meant positive confirmation.

[Unclouded]

On 6/5/2023 at 1:33 PM, dongans said:

I think its the most important fact is that Park Hae Young created three different dramas which the protagonists look to achieve something, achieve healing, so they go on a journey of a healing process BUT they do that falling in love. "Another Oh Have Young", "My Mister" and "My Liberation Notes" follows the same modus operandi. The only thing that differs is how deep they are going to show - fiscally speaking - their evolvement.

 

I kept thinking about this, and I feel like My Mister and My Liberation Notes are two parts of a whole. In MM, love comes in the form of acceptance (for JA), support (for DH), and protectiveness (for both). It's like a band-aid (though not just that) that allows for each of them to heal themselves. It's more event-related - DH being damaged by his marriage and his work, while JA's struggles are from her past. Love allows for healing (if s/he thinks it's not a big deal, then it must not be a big deal). In a sense that's what therapy does as well (not that your therapist will go fight a loan shark for you). And as upsetting as it is to see DH in tears at his apartment on his own in the end, it's cathartic to know that he's developed the internal force to be able to express and confront himself that way.  

 

But in MLN, everyone's struggles are more drawn out. It's interesting that JA says that DH is suffering from a life sentence of earnestness, when I feel like this applies so much more to Mi Jung in MLN. The loveless marriage and workplace bullying have nothing to do with DH's earnestness, but for MJ, it brings her down that she's willing to give so much of herself to others and gets nothing back. In MLN, there's a more typical feeling of ennui and depression that people have. Here, healing is just being able to start the day with 5 minutes of peace, holding back one's frustrations/regrets/internal persecution for that long, and then being able to feel happy with one's SO. I think it'll take much more than a year for MJ and Gu to be able to go through their days with the same consistent joy you see from DH and JA at the end. 

[Unclouded]

On 6/12/2023 at 7:32 AM, sweetroad said:

Oh my goodness, I was laughing SO hard at that scene. There are other scenes coming up (I can think of two in particular) that rivaled that one in their creativity and hilarity. Let me know when you finish the show and we can laugh together. Enjoy the show!

 

I just finished watching, I really liked Cha Myung Ju throughout, her dynamic with LSK's character was so good. What scenes did you enjoy the most? 

 

On 6/12/2023 at 6:40 PM, Raymond said:

Just noticed in the early part of epi 3, SH texted DH admiring there is a young female secretly in love with him in the office and wish to reborn as DH in next life, and DH didn't sent any response! To the 3 brothers including DH, without knowing exactly the bribe money's real story, this would be the only explanation! And even KH already warned DH strongly to keep a clear distance from a dangerous JA (would be hugely damaging to his career with any sort of relationship with a young female subordinate), he right away had a private expensive dinner with her without hesitation, seems no one can tell him what to do once regarding JA. Is that strange if his feeling is pure platonic?

 

I don't think his feelings become clouded until after he finds out about his wife's affair. He only spends time with JA before that because of the bribe, and he genuinely (imo) has no interest in her then. It's after he discovers the affair where he looks forward to seeing her, and feels like he can confide in her. He knew before that she somehow understood him quite well, but that made him feel worried and sad for her. She also doesn't have any interest in him until she hears him confront the man who bullies his brothers, and then after he invites her to the company dinner. 

 

I think the moment where we can say something's changed for DH is when he goes to the bar alone and asks the bartender if JA's come by. And to me it's not even that important that he describes her as pretty then - him asking about her there at all says so much more. 

 

On 6/12/2023 at 7:32 AM, sweetroad said:

He'd rather have her avoid the whole subject, but he obviously takes it to heart so much when she's encouraging him (Fighting!), telling him he's a good person (I feel like he has a bit of a Mark Darcy smile in that moment, too - at the very end of Ep 12 when she says he's a decent person), and when she says she just wants him to be happy in the shack. How can he not be affected by these things? 

 

The encouragement makes him miss her more and rely on her more, but also makes him more defensive of their current relationship. When he goes shopping after JA misses her stop and sees her coming out of the subway, he sighs as if it's relieving just to see her there. And when they walk through the neighbourhood, the reason he tries to distance himself from her (walking faster, telling her to call him Manager) isn't because she does anything wrong or says anything about her feelings. JA telling him that she hates DJY because DH hates him is not much different than her slapping a coworker earlier for suggesting DH should resign. DH only reacted here because he feels uncomfortable about his own feelings for her.

 

He really doesn't want to lose her, he needs her support, so he doesn't want to acknowledge her feelings when she expresses them, and he refuses to let her go either. At first, I thought the 'buy me slippers' speech was the most mature way of rejection that I've seen - he wants to maintain a friendship and he refuses to let her feelings make him uncomfortable because he likes/respects her that much. I don't think it's meant to be a love confession in the sense that DH isn't trying to tell her that he loves her. But I think it's impossible to need someone this much without loving them. And also the way this was done - yelling in the middle of the street, couldn't be less discreet than that. So now I see it the same way that JA does, and it's easy to understand why it makes her like him even more. Honestly, it's the moment where I liked DH the most too (both before and after being a shipper). 

 

On 6/12/2023 at 7:32 AM, sweetroad said:

For those who watch the show more than once, it's easier to pick up the clues the next time around that DH 1) loves JA, and 2) DH and YH get a divorce in the end, which is foreshadowed and hinted at many, many times all throughout the story.

 

So we should just encourage everyone to watch it at least twice .

 

Couldn't agree more. The mistranslated ending (not knowing DH refers to his wife differently now) also doesn't help. But I also think that it was much more interesting the second time, since the 'will they, won't they' suspense gets replaced with just trying to understand what this relationship actually is and means. And especially in a story that's so much about family and community, seeing the way everyone around DH reacts to things involving him rather than just looking at him (the way we all would the first time watching) is so important. 

[Raymond]

On 6/16/2023 at 8:48 AM, Unclouded said:

 

I kept thinking about this, and I feel like My Mister and My Liberation Notes are two parts of a whole. In MM, love comes in the form of acceptance (for JA), support (for DH), and protectiveness (for both). It's like a band-aid (though not just that) that allows for each of them to heal themselves. It's more event-related - DH being damaged by his marriage and his work, while JA's struggles are from her past. Love allows for healing (if s/he thinks it's not a big deal, then it must not be a big deal). In a sense that's what therapy does as well (not that your therapist will go fight a loan shark for you). And as upsetting as it is to see DH in tears at his apartment on his own in the end, it's cathartic to know that he's developed the internal force to be able to express and confront himself that way.  

 

But in MLN, everyone's struggles are more drawn out. It's interesting that JA says that DH is suffering from a life sentence of earnestness, when I feel like this applies so much more to Mi Jung in MLN. The loveless marriage and workplace bullying have nothing to do with DH's earnestness, but for MJ, it brings her down that she's willing to give so much of herself to others and gets nothing back. In MLN, there's a more typical feeling of ennui and depression that people have. Here, healing is just being able to start the day with 5 minutes of peace, holding back one's frustrations/regrets/internal persecution for that long, and then being able to feel happy with one's SO. I think it'll take much more than a year for MJ and Gu to be able to go through their days with the same consistent joy you see from DH and JA at the end. 

I have started watching MLN but it is real slow in the 1st few episodes and nowhere near as dramatic as MM.

Yes I fully agreed with DH's feeling developments based on the story lines. But while rewatching the beginning episodes I tried to pretend not knowing any later developments but judge type of feelings behind DH's early actions. So based on that did the PD/writer ever shown DH's feeling on JA pure friendly, or senior to junior type? Eg.

He didn't let YH know about JA thrown away the bribe money for him, only about the bribe money issue (instead he found out YH had contacted his worst enemy).

He told his brothers about JA throwing away the bribe money but still attended dinner with her in spite of KH's strong warning.

Of course adding making unnecessary non business conversations with JA whenever in office.

Are the actions more logical if he already a little bit attracted to JA (like striked by Cupid's arrow at the lady bug moment, which happened to many lovers in real life), or would the PD/writer just shown nothing?

But again no matter how many clear signs, symptoms, actions, indirect words, metaphors etc shown on the love line, if viewers simply don’t wish nor like romantic ending between a middle age man and a young woman, they won’t be convinced, try as we might (unless they gone for 2nd watch). A good example of people believe in what they want to believe, is it?

[Unclouded]

On 6/15/2023 at 7:49 PM, Raymond said:

I have started watching MLN but it is real slow in the 1st few episodes and nowhere near as dramatic as MM.

It's kinda like that the whole way through. On one hand I think that My Mister is a better show because it moved me a lot more, but on the other hand My Liberation Notes is maybe one of the only dramas that I actually find a bit relatable, in part because it's less dramatic and involves feelings/issues/worries that are more common. 

 

On 6/15/2023 at 7:49 PM, Raymond said:

But while rewatching the beginning episodes I tried to pretend not knowing any later developments but judge type of feelings behind DH's early actions. So based on that did the PD/writer ever shown DH's feeling on JA pure friendly, or senior to junior type? Eg.

He didn't let YH know about JA thrown away the bribe money for him, only about the bribe money issue (instead he found out YH had contacted his worst enemy).

He told his brothers about JA throwing away the bribe money but still attended dinner with her in spite of KH's strong warning.

Of course adding making unnecessary non business conversations with JA whenever in office.

Are the actions more logical if he already a little bit attracted to JA (like striked by Cupid's arrow at the lady bug moment, which happened to many lovers in real life), or would the PD/writer just shown nothing?

This is a good way to look at it. I agree that he is never interacting with her at the start in a purely friendly way (how could he with the conflict over the bribe?), or in a senior to junior way (JA never really lets him speak down to her). When he asks her what her parents would think about her actions, she gives the same question right back at DH, and he doesn't really have a reply. He feels connected to her in a deeper way, he feels like she understands him in a way that others don't. He's curious about how she at her age could see what a lot of the people closest to him (his brothers, Jung Hee) miss. And I think it's that sense of connection that draws him to her and keeps him from firing her. But IMO it takes time for that to start meaning something else to him deep down.

 

On 6/15/2023 at 7:49 PM, Raymond said:

But again no matter how many clear signs, symptoms, actions, indirect words, metaphors etc shown on the love line, if viewers simply don’t wish nor like romantic ending between a middle age man and a young woman, they won’t be convinced, try as we might (unless they gone for 2nd watch). A good example of people believe in what they want to believe, is it?

Exactly! 

[Raymond]

In episode 4 in the SH cleaning incident KH was shown to be the most observant, noticing SH's suffering while DH most action orientated, taking well planned, calculated  super smart action to revenge, which moved JA for the very 1st time. Same applied to his detailed careful process to discover YH's affair where brain overrided emotion. The PD/writer shown the biggest contrast later with DH's fight with Kwang-ll, which was just based on emotion and courage, but very brainless and quite childish. So every viewer, once joining the dots (only easier in 2nd watch because during 1st watch most just focusing on presence,  judging each incident on its own based on one's wish or expectation), should know his feeling on JA is well destinguished.

The PD/writer here shown DH is very smart, takes actions when needed, but not very observant, in fact quite a closed person. This is his primary problem of his marriage. His sensing antenna is just on JA, no one else, right from beginning of the MM story. Twice in episode 5 DH reacted to JA way ahead of every one else, with her walking in front while the 2 brothers making joke of him and JA during walking home, and JA behind the company group going for the big dinner (see her at the back of his eyes,  or smell her like a dog?), and surprised everyone when he invited her to join (more so to the gossip woman: this cheap woman just tried to kiss you, you just tried to sack her, now telling her no worry, a kind of open apology to her too?). JA now eyeing DH with warmth, coldness gone, and a bit of feminine appeared as well.

The last scene in episode 5 deliberately shown JA walking, lurking like a shadow with eyes full of sympathy (she is now his guardiance angel going all the way to watch over him), at the background of DH and YH at the phone booth area, the shock of DH's life on the discovery and the very 1st moment of their marriage disintegration. Seems the PD/writer have shown us the future role of JA: on her way to replace YH in DH's marriage for his full healing! The total silent scene is a brilliant masterpiece work. Of course one would think it means nothing if DH would never fall in love with a 21 years old woman.

[Raymond]

On 5/17/2022 at 10:00 PM, sweetroad said:

 

I can't find it now, but someone said over at the FGV that technically MM is an open ending, since the show doesn't show them definitively, conclusively getting together at the end. The "will they? won't they?" dynamic is strong at the end, which we all know has led to so much debate these past 3 - 4 years. Everyone has an opinion, but the show doesn't show us without a doubt, explicitly, that DH and JA are, or will be romantically together. So the commenter says technically it is an open ending.

 

And according to the definition above, where a closed ending "satisfies all audience emotion" - well, I think we can all say that MM is not really all that satisfying at the end! DH never explicitly says he loves JA, therefore many people have thought he just has mentor-ly or fatherly feelings for her at the end. Whatever the intention of the show, the actual result is that it left some things open for interpretation, and this has been pretty dissatisfying for those who do see a loveline between DH and JA. The show doesn't actually explicitly tell non-shippers that they're wrong.

 

As you say, @YukawaCattle, we need to look at the clues and the subtle ways DH expresses himself - or restrains himself - and also look at the other lovelines like KH and YR. We also look at the obstacles being removed as @actionscript says.

 

In that way we can deduce that DH loves JA and that the narrative thrust points to them being together at the end. However, because the show doesn't conclusively tell us, once and for all, that DH is divorced and that DH loves JA romantically, there's still room for those who interpret the ending differently.

 

So I think the result is that the show has an open ending, even if KWS and PHY had every intention of showing us DH and JA's love for each other and packing the show with clues. But most shows and films with closed endings don't need to rely on the audience picking up on so many clues, since they just show things explicitly or have their characters say I love you.

 

And I'm rehashing what we've talked about before, but most people will only watch MM once, so unfortunately without the DH/JA loveline being very clear the first time around, many will still walk away thinking DH and JA are just friends who are happy to see each other again.

 

That's why I think the de facto result is that the show has an open ending, since too many people walk away thinking something different than what we see the show has pointed to all along, which is a DH/JA reunion that leads to their love finding expression, finally.

 

Perhaps the best thing is just to think of it as @actionscript says, that MM is a prequel to all of that. In that case, MM would be an open ending, taking us to the point where DH and JA could get started, but they don't explicitly show it.

Ending? DH and JA now on a freeway with no speed limit!

[sweetroad]

On 6/17/2023 at 2:47 PM, Raymond said:

Twice in episode 5 DH reacted to JA way ahead of every one else, with her walking in front while the 2 brothers making joke of him and JA during walking home, and JA behind the company group going for the big dinner (see her at the back of his eyes,  or smell her like a dog?), and surprised everyone when he invited her to join (more so to the gossip woman: this cheap woman just tried to kiss you, you just tried to sack her, now telling her no worry, a kind of open apology to her too?).

 

Great observations!

 

On 6/17/2023 at 2:47 PM, Raymond said:

The last scene in episode 5 deliberately shown JA walking, lurking like a shadow with eyes full of sympathy (she is now his guardiance angel going all the way to watch over him), at the background of DH and YH at the phone booth area,

 

The first time I watched that scene I got goosebumps! It was so creepy, with JA walking in slo-mo in the background. But you're right, she was sympathetic there to DH and wanted to see what would happen, since she already knew about the affair.

 

On 6/17/2023 at 10:22 AM, Unclouded said:

He feels connected to her in a deeper way, he feels like she understands him in a way that others don't. He's curious about how she at her age could see what a lot of the people closest to him (his brothers, Jung Hee) miss.

 

Good point; totally agree.

[Unclouded]

On 6/17/2023 at 8:47 AM, Raymond said:

In episode 4 in the SH cleaning incident KH was shown to be the most observant, noticing SH's suffering while DH most action orientated, taking well planned, calculated  super smart action to revenge, which moved JA for the very 1st time. Same applied to his detailed careful process to discover YH's affair where brain overrided emotion. The PD/writer shown the biggest contrast later with DH's fight with Kwang-ll, which was just based on emotion and courage, but very brainless and quite childish. So every viewer, once joining the dots (only easier in 2nd watch because during 1st watch most just focusing on presence,  judging each incident on its own based on one's wish or expectation), should know his feeling on JA is well destinguished.

You can definitely distinguish his feeling for JA from his other coworkers. He gets told not to trust the people around him by the boss who gets sent to Busan, but that doesn't make him turn against JA, even though he has a lot of reasons to distrust her then. I wonder how he rationalizes the kiss in his mind here. I kinda feel like he just decided to brush it aside and not think about it, the exact same way he ignores the way his wife feels about staying in the neighbourhood. For him, once a conversation happens, he assumes the problem's solved, even when it really isn't. This is true even for his wife's affair - doesn't he say that the problem's over now that he told DJY to stop? So I think him not being observant is him turning a blind eye to things he doesn't want to think about and just avoiding conflict. 

 

But I thought the two fights were basically equally childish. Before fighting Kwang-Il, he went to the custodian and got information first about JA to figure out her past. With the guy who hurt his brothers, he does the same - he talks to the previous owner of the cleaning business and learns that he's abusive to lots of people. He did more thinking in his brothers' case, but all he came up with was going to the guy's place and swinging his hammer around. So I agree he feels something distinct for JA, but DH isn't really the kind of guy who distinguishes between his loved ones. Like wasn't that the whole problem he had with his wife in the first place - he couldn't ever say she was number 1 for him?  

[Raymond]

43 minutes ago, Unclouded said:

You can definitely distinguish his feeling for JA from his other coworkers. He gets told not to trust the people around him by the boss who gets sent to Busan, but that doesn't make him turn against JA, even though he has a lot of reasons to distrust her then. I wonder how he rationalizes the kiss in his mind here. I kinda feel like he just decided to brush it aside and not think about it, the exact same way he ignores the way his wife feels about staying in the neighbourhood. For him, once a conversation happens, he assumes the problem's solved, even when it really isn't. This is true even for his wife's affair - doesn't he say that the problem's over now that he told DJY to stop? So I think him not being observant is him turning a blind eye to things he doesn't want to think about and just avoiding conflict. 

 

But I thought the two fights were basically equally childish. Before fighting Kwang-Il, he went to the custodian and got information first about JA to figure out her past. With the guy who hurt his brothers, he does the same - he talks to the previous owner of the cleaning business and learns that he's abusive to lots of people. He did more thinking in his brothers' case, but all he came up with was going to the guy's place and swinging his hammer around. So I agree he feels something distinct for JA, but DH isn't really the kind of guy who distinguishes between his loved ones. Like wasn't that the whole problem he had with his wife in the first place - he couldn't ever say she was number 1 for him?  

The 2 actions on the guy upsetting SH and the discovery of the affair are well planned and carefully executed though (emotional but not losing his brain), while the fight with Kwang-ll is just automatic response triggered by emotion. Is that what many Kdramas' way of showing its hero revenging for his lover, just all emotion? 

Being of quite similar background to DH except not being Korean, I am trying to judge what kind of possible feeling behind DH, action by action, during the 3rd watch.

[Unclouded]

18 minutes ago, Raymond said:

The 2 actions on the guy upsetting SH and the discovery of the affair are well planned and carefully executed though, while the fight with Kwang-ll is just automatic response triggered by emotion. Is that what many Kdramas' way of showing its hero revenging for his lover, just all emotion? 

Being of quite similar background to DH except not being Korean, I am trying to judge what kind of possible feeling behind DH, action by action, during the 3rd watch.

You're right, it definitely comes off as getting revenge for his lover. I think DH was forced to wait a bit longer before confronting the guy upsetting SH, because he found out really late at night and didn't have an opportunity to confront him until the next day. The reactions DH has after those two fights are different - he's physically hurt after fighting Kwang-Il, but he feels satisfied and it almost seems like he feels younger (feeling like his cells are awake again). And of course fighting for a woman he loves will make him feel that way, that sense of getting your masculinity back, especially after being cheated on. But after the fight for SH, he walks outside and he's in tears from the pent-up emotion, with his hands on his knees. I think the day of waiting, him buying those cigarettes and being deep in thought, had less to do with him coming up with a plan and was more him constantly thinking about what happened to his brother, and also probably the times in his own life where he was similarly hurt (at the workplace). 

[Raymond]

10 minutes ago, Unclouded said:

You're right, it definitely comes off as getting revenge for his lover. I think DH was forced to wait a bit longer before confronting the guy upsetting SH, because he found out really late at night and didn't have an opportunity to confront him until the next day. The reactions DH has after those two fights are different - he's physically hurt after fighting Kwang-Il, but he feels satisfied and it almost seems like he feels younger (feeling like his cells are awake again). And of course fighting for a woman he loves will make him feel that way, that sense of getting your masculinity back, especially after being cheated on. But after the fight for SH, he walks outside and he's in tears from the pent-up emotion, with his hands on his knees. I think the day of waiting, him buying those cigarettes and being deep in thought, had less to do with him coming up with a plan and was more him constantly thinking about what happened to his brother, and also probably the times in his own life where he was similarly hurt (at the workplace). 

Also the dramatic cry of JA listening to DH's fight for her speaks volume. Besides the PD/writer, she would understand much more than the viewers the actual feeling behind DH on the fight for her. Remember DH knows the loan shark has beaten JA and would have more than one in the office, highly dangerous indeed.

[Raymond]

On 6/22/2023 at 7:26 AM, sweetroad said:

 

Great observations!

 

 

The first time I watched that scene I got goosebumps! It was so creepy, with JA walking in slo-mo in the background. But you're right, she was sympathetic there to DH and wanted to see what would happen, since she already knew about the affair.

 

 

Good point; totally agree.

MM being a great drama, every scene, every character is there for a reason, nothing happens by accident. Jumping to the end, the chairman:

- Invest in DH's new firm to be his business partner

- Move JA out of Seoul via his friend

- Move her back to Seoul when DH is ready

With DH's mom and sister-in-law unlikely to be told of YH's cheating/betrayal, in their old fashioned eyes, the presence of JA might look like the 'temptation fox' as part of the reason for the divorce, and her honour might diminish in the family. The chairman obviously sees no reason for DH not to divorce.

So with the chairman wishing JA to go to full brightness not half, he is the match maker clearing the path for the last cafe scene (might be their offices are in closed proximity too).

The latest Hollywood age gap no skinship movie 'No Hard Feelings' (32 years old J. Lawrence with 21 years old Harvard student) is described as 'More Than a Feeling' in review. This term is indeed appropriate for MM as well that no one can dispute.

[sweetroad]

On 6/23/2023 at 9:08 AM, Unclouded said:

I kinda feel like he just decided to brush it aside and not think about it, the exact same way he ignores the way his wife feels about staying in the neighbourhood. For him, once a conversation happens, he assumes the problem's solved, even when it really isn't. This is true even for his wife's affair - doesn't he say that the problem's over now that he told DJY to stop? So I think him not being observant is him turning a blind eye to things he doesn't want to think about and just avoiding conflict. 

 

Great point. This is part of his system of keeping internal peace (not necessarily interpersonal peace), to just ignore and disengage, even if his anger has made him speak up like once. But of course things are still going to bother him and eat him alive, since no one can keep perfect internal peace without actually addressing things.

 

On 6/23/2023 at 9:08 AM, Unclouded said:

He did more thinking in his brothers' case, but all he came up with was going to the guy's place and swinging his hammer around.

 

I still loved that scene though. "Dong Hoon being Passionate" is something I'll watch over and over again.

 

On 6/23/2023 at 9:08 AM, Unclouded said:

So I agree he feels something distinct for JA, but DH isn't really the kind of guy who distinguishes between his loved ones.

 

Great succinct point!

 

On 6/23/2023 at 10:16 AM, Unclouded said:

The reactions DH has after those two fights are different - he's physically hurt after fighting Kwang-Il, but he feels satisfied and it almost seems like he feels younger (feeling like his cells are awake again). And of course fighting for a woman he loves will make him feel that way, that sense of getting your masculinity back, especially after being cheated on. But after the fight for SH, he walks outside and he's in tears from the pent-up emotion, with his hands on his knees.

 

Someone once said that fighting for JA came naturally for DH and he felt alive afterward. But fighting for his family seemed to drain and exhaust him. Even if he didn't distinguish between his loved ones, loving and defending JA didnt seem to be a burden, but loving and defending his hapless brothers was harder.

 

It's cool that later in the show, Ki Hoon himself fought and stood up for Yu Ra by confronting the movie director at the restaurant, and Sang Hoon cheerfully rose up and paid for Ji An's granny's funeral. It wasn't a fight per se on Sang Hoon's part, but he had to put himself out there in order to love Ji An in that moment. I like that both of the brothers' character arcs involve them acting for the loved ones in their lives.

 

On 6/23/2023 at 10:33 AM, Raymond said:

Remember DH knows the loan shark has beaten JA and would have more than one in the office, highly dangerous indeed.

 

Dong Hoon's confidence in going to confront Kwang Il in his office was pretty darn bada** - the first time I watched it I couldn't believe he did that. You're right - he would have known he was walking into a potentially dangerous situation, after what Choon Dae had told him about JA's story.

[Raymond]

13 hours ago, sweetroad said:

 

Great point. This is part of his system of keeping internal peace (not necessarily interpersonal peace), to just ignore and disengage, even if his anger has made him speak up like once. But of course things are still going to bother him and eat him alive, since no one can keep perfect internal peace without actually addressing things.

 

 

I still loved that scene though. "Dong Hoon being Passionate" is something I'll watch over and over again.

 

 

Great succinct point!

 

 

Someone once said that fighting for JA came naturally for DH and he felt alive afterward. But fighting for his family seemed to drain and exhaust him. Even if he didn't distinguish between his loved ones, loving and defending JA didnt seem to be a burden, but loving and defending his hapless brothers was harder.

 

It's cool that later in the show, Ki Hoon himself fought and stood up for Yu Ra by confronting the movie director at the restaurant, and Sang Hoon cheerfully rose up and paid for Ji An's granny's funeral. It wasn't a fight per se on Sang Hoon's part, but he had to put himself out there in order to love Ji An in that moment. I like that both of the brothers' character arcs involve them acting for the loved ones in their lives.

 

 

Dong Hoon's confidence in going to confront Kwang Il in his office was pretty darn bada** - the first time I watched it I couldn't believe he did that. You're right - he would have known he was walking into a potentially dangerous situation, after what Choon Dae had told him about JA's story.

Yes, not that I want to say DH would compare nor rank his love for his Park families with that of JA. They will all occupy different spots in the heart and equally important but not the same of course.

[Raymond]

Just for fun, how many signs (according to internet) were detected on DH about JA?

25 signs he like you more than a friend:

1. Builds communication 

2. Let's his guard down

3. Displays a healthy jealousy 

4. Appreciate your presence

5. Observes even the small things about you

6. His eyes talk

7. Playful around you

8. Goes the extra mile for you

9. Changes his body language

10. Acts a little lost in your presence

11. Takes an interest in what you like

12. Priorities his time with you

13. Keeps you updated

14. His texting habits

15. Acknowledge your efforts

16. Introduces you to his inner circle

17. Wants to know your story and future plans

18. Initiates the talk

19. Changes his talking style

20. Show protectiveness 

21. Trusts you blindly

22. He is there for you

23. Craves your attention

24. Looks forward to seeing you

25. Finds every conversations with you interesting 

May be that’s how psychiatrist would test DH if he is in love.

[Unclouded]

On 6/23/2023 at 7:30 PM, Raymond said:

With DH's mom and sister-in-law unlikely to be told of YH's cheating/betrayal, in their old fashioned eyes, the presence of JA might look like the 'temptation fox' as part of the reason for the divorce, and her honour might diminish in the family

It's more the neighbourhood's opinions they have to worry about. It would be wrong to subject JA to the whispers of the local gossips about why DH's marriage fell apart. The age-gap there makes it so much worse, too. Like personally I found out about someone (a relative of a friend) being in a relationship with a much older boss a week ago and I definitely didn't react positively to that. So the writer has to be very careful to avoid situations that make the common prejudice that most of us have with these type of relationships worse. 

 

But that being said, I think the people close to DH would unquestionably take JA's side and protect her. In a short time, we see that JA is much more integrated/loved by the people there compared to YH, who's always held herself a bit apart. I think DH's mother would be especially approving - she'd love nothing more than to see him happy, and she already low-key blames/hates YH for his sadness/depression. If she saw the way he smiled at JA during that last handshake, that one look would be enough to accept her. DH's sister-in-law might be harder, but I get the feeling she doesn't like YH all that much, and she's one of the few people who has DH's emotional best interests at heart when she rips off the bandaid at Jung Hee's bar by allowing everyone to talk about/openly interact with Sang Won again. If you look closely, you'll see her wiping her tears at the end, she strongly empathizes with her classmates' feelings. I don't see her turning against DH or JA over their relationship.

[Unclouded]

On 6/24/2023 at 1:20 PM, sweetroad said:

It wasn't a fight per se on Sang Hoon's part, but he had to put himself out there in order to love Ji An in that moment. I like that both of the brothers' character arcs involve them acting for the loved ones in their lives.

My favourite scene in this whole show is the way SH smiles when they're on the bus after the funeral, and he's wearing the shades with his brothers. Unquestionably the most adorable moment here. I love the way he's so happy to be acting the older brother here

[Raymond]

10 hours ago, Unclouded said:

It's more the neighbourhood's opinions they have to worry about. It would be wrong to subject JA to the whispers of the local gossips about why DH's marriage fell apart. The age-gap there makes it so much worse, too. Like personally I found out about someone (a relative of a friend) being in a relationship with a much older boss a week ago and I definitely didn't react positively to that. So the writer has to be very careful to avoid situations that make the common prejudice that most of us have with these type of relationships worse. 

 

But that being said, I think the people close to DH would unquestionably take JA's side and protect her. In a short time, we see that JA is much more integrated/loved by the people there compared to YH, who's always held herself a bit apart. I think DH's mother would be especially approving - she'd love nothing more than to see him happy, and she already low-key blames/hates YH for his sadness/depression. If she saw the way he smiled at JA during that last handshake, that one look would be enough to accept her. DH's sister-in-law might be harder, but I get the feeling she doesn't like YH all that much, and she's one of the few people who has DH's emotional best interests at heart when she rips off the bandaid at Jung Hee's bar by allowing everyone to talk about/openly interact with Sang Won again. If you look closely, you'll see her wiping her tears at the end, she strongly empathizes with her classmates' feelings. I don't see her turning against DH or JA over their relationship.

Agree on every single point you raised. DH’s mom doesn’t like YH much at all of course. JH would help to convince anyone who might have problem with future DH/JA relationship for sure.

Note court cases are open to public normally, anyone interested can attend, including news reporters, and someone might spread case details/judgement over internet too.