[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[Raymond]

On 7/10/2023 at 2:02 PM, sadiesmith said:

Hello, everyone! You might enjoy reading this rather spirited discussion/disagreement on mydramalist. I see someone making the same points you are making here but coming from a totally different angle.  

Will certainly read that. So many different people posting about MM on different forums!

Now finished rewatching episode 13. Too many extremely moving moments, with the episode starting with JA defending DH (recap), and ending with DH defending JA. And really too much, too much longings/missings from DH not to feel his beyond friendship love. Even most postings in dramabeans been shifted to focus on the story line development on JA/DH expected in the remaining episodes. Hard not to be moved by the main leads.

This is supposed to be a healing drama. And everytime watching DH and YH together just too much pain, never any joy. And now spilling to the brothers. So always felt the sooner they separated the better, of course including for the sake of JA. I think for couples in general the more love they have in beginning the more damage, hatred, and pain, betrayal will bring (the degradation is impossible to be described). And separation would be the only solution that might bring forgiveness, healing, to each others, as they can become friends again (if fully regretted and even easier, if the other side found a replacement).

Once again I am as confused as most in 1st watch, never know what t expect.

[sweetroad]

1 hour ago, Raymond said:

This is supposed to be a healing drama. And everytime watching DH and YH together just too much pain, never any joy. And now spilling to the brothers.

 

So true. DH and YH don't have any comfortable interactions at all in the show, which is such a contrast to his relaxed conversations with JA. He's a different person with JA, letting down his guard.

 

And his brothers have always been on their best behavior with YH; they're not relaxed with her either.

 

The trajectory between DH and YH is not moving toward love again, and a friendship between them in the end is actually a good ending for them.

[Raymond]

3 hours ago, sweetroad said:

 

So true. DH and YH don't have any comfortable interactions at all in the show, which is such a contrast to his relaxed conversations with JA. He's a different person with JA, letting down his guard.

 

And his brothers have always been on their best behavior with YH; they're not relaxed with her either.

 

The trajectory between DH and YH is not moving toward love again, and a friendship between them in the end is actually a good ending for them.

YH did show her full regret to the extent of helping JA. So she is rewarded with freedom. Seems this drama did reward everyone who done something good, so once JA thrown away the bribe money in the beginning, helping DH, for whatever reason, she would not end up in tragedy.

Also in episode 13, for the 1st time, DH shared his inner most feeling, a personal secret to the brothers. And the brothers knowing now that the girl living in the neighbourhood, the one who thrown away the bribe money, is the source of air, the life support of their brother now. Extremely important development.

[Unclouded]

17 hours ago, sweetroad said:

When I did watch it, I was relieved (!!) there wasn't any romance there and there was a possibility he went back to his wife at the end. Then I found Give Me Slippers, and all my pre-conceived notions were dashed to the ground.

 

I think similarly I felt relieved the first time watching when DH pushed JA away from him during her confession in episode 10, though now that scene is much harder to watch knowing JA's history of experiencing violence. It's kinda strange to me that there weren't more complaints about this, and instead there was the silliness of applying 'dating violence' to the vicious behaviour of the loanshark earlier on. 

 

It took until episode 14 I think for me to be fine with and expect a romantic relationship. Actually I found the ending a little heartbreaking (but good!), since I thought he and his wife were still together. It felt like JA had been the only one to move her life forward, while DH was still stuck. I was thinking 'I guess this is realistic, people stay in unhappy marriages for the kids'. That there's value in the process of growth, even if not everything can be immediately resolved. But I was very much happy to learn on rewatch that they had separated, cause DH deserves to be happy too. 

 

5 hours ago, sweetroad said:

The trajectory between DH and YH is not moving toward love again, and a friendship between them in the end is actually a good ending for them.

 

I don't even think friendship is possible here. You have to like your friends, and we never see him forgive her (I imagine that would take years). Obviously they have to remain in contact for their son, but I think that relationship is going to be cold and more professional. They weren't friendly with each other even when living together as husband and wife. 

Edited July 11, 2023 by Unclouded

[dongans]

7 hours ago, Raymond said:

so once JA thrown away the bribe money in the beginning, helping DH, for whatever reason, she would not end up in tragedy

Even DH himself, if he never helped Jian more than 4 times, he wouldn't be rewarded with happiness in the end, and sure, he would face tragedy instead.

 

6 hours ago, Unclouded said:

Obviously they have to remain in contact for their son, but I think that relationship is going to be cold and more professional.

I have my doubts because her photos with their son are still on DH's office. They are not together, as we can see and the director said that would be weird if they had, but I think they have an amicable relationship and a somewhat respect.

- 

@sweetroad I was thinking about watching Doctor Cha, in my country he was always in the weekend top 10 series. Is that good? I watched Agency (loved it), Black Knight and Bloodhounds. But this year is a little bit slow for me, I need another Park Hae Young drama lol

[sweetroad]

1 hour ago, dongans said:

I was thinking about watching Doctor Cha, in my country he was always in the weekend top 10 series. Is that good? I

So good! The faces the cheating husband makes are so over-the-top and dramatic, it’s a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is very entertaining. I hardly ever fast forwarded. And Dr Roy is a nice foil to the hubby in the way he treats Dr Cha. It was a heartfelt and heartwarming drama. Try it out and see! A bunch of us here were sad when it ended.
 

7 hours ago, Unclouded said:

I was thinking 'I guess this is realistic, people stay in unhappy marriages for the kids'. That there's value in the process of growth, even if not everything can be immediately resolved. But I was very much happy to learn on rewatch that they had separated, cause DH deserves to be happy too. 

This was my journey, too. It seemed like JA had such a dramatic healing process, and DH seemed still sad and alone once JA and YH left. It was nice to see that he had left Saman after the time skip. But what I see now on rewatches, that part of his character development would have love redeemed in his life (by being able to love and be loved by JA) after such a deep betrayal, is even more fulfilling.

 

9 hours ago, Raymond said:

And the brothers knowing now that the girl living in the neighbourhood, the one who thrown away the bribe money, is the source of air, the life support of their brother now. Extremely important development.

I’m still so surprised that he chose to share that with them. It seemed out of character. But it also shows just how important JA was to him by this point, that he actually said something out loud like that. Too bad she left Saman right after that. Poor guy.

[Unclouded]

7 hours ago, dongans said:

I have my doubts because her photos with their son are still on DH's office. They are not together, as we can see and the director said that would be weird if they had, but I think they have an amicable relationship and a somewhat respect.

I just find it weird - can't someone be in your close family without you having to like them? I guess he would only have pictures of his son (and not the wife) if he hated her. So I agree that there's some respect (as co-parents) there. It's the warm feelings or emotional closeness that I think of with friendships that I'm struggling to see. I think DH is someone where it's a big deal that he's close to or friends with someone. There are a lot of times where people say he doesn't have any friends (both his sister-in-law and wife say this). Isn't that the implication of what he says to JA, that when you really know someone, nothing they do bothers you? Does that mean that he didn't really know his wife when they were married? And unless whatever the last conversation they had before she flew off resolved that, there should still be that distance.

[Raymond]

10 hours ago, sweetroad said:

I’m still so surprised that he chose to share that with them. It seemed out of character. But it also shows just how important JA was to him by this point, that he actually said something out loud like that. Too bad she left Saman right after that. Poor guy.

This brings me to the other topics many discussed, the wiretapping. Many posts insisted JA had to be penalised by the law and DH as this is a serious privacy intrusion, some even compared this with YH's betrayal. Viewers should be a bit smarter at this stage, knowing JA being the source of life support to DH, her incredible support in the directors interview, the confessions of love, all the critical moment encouragements, never talk about YH. He knew full well basically everything she done just all for him. As long as viewers put themselves into DH's shoes, rather than their own, the wiretapping would mean a non-issue to DH, just technicality.

[sweetroad]

5 hours ago, Unclouded said:

So I agree that there's some respect (as co-parents) there. It's the warm feelings or emotional closeness that I think of with friendships that I'm struggling to see. I think DH is someone where it's a big deal that he's close to or friends with someone. There are a lot of times where people say he doesn't have any friends (both his sister-in-law and wife say this).

 

I can see your point, especially when we think of DH specifically. You're right - he's not one to get close to people that easily, and he's definitely not from the West where people are labeled as "friends" more quickly. When I said that DH and YH remaining friends at the end was a good ending for them, I was thinking more from a Western point of view, where basically they were friends because they didn’t hate each other. Haha.

 

4 hours ago, Raymond said:

He knew full well basically everything she done just all for him. As long as viewers put themselves into DH's shoes, rather than their own, the wiretapping would mean a non-issue to DH, just technicality.

 

Yes! Good point. He even said in the shack that being humiliated would be having the affair out in the open. He didn't ever mention that he felt embarrassed or humiliated that JA had heard so much of his life without him knowing it. If it were me I'd be mortified someone was listening in on me that entire time. But for him the real humiliation/ mortification was other people knowing that YH cheated on him with DJY. It's interesting.

 

[Raymond]

21 hours ago, Unclouded said:

 

I don't even think friendship is possible here. You have to like your friends, and we never see him forgive her (I imagine that would take years). Obviously they have to remain in contact for their son, but I think that relationship is going to be cold and more professional. They weren't friendly with each other even when living together as husband and wife. 

Yes, where I worked before (in a western country) I counted 40% people had divorced/remarried etc and none would ever be friend with the divorced partner. We just tried to be kind to YH.

[sweetroad]

On 7/10/2023 at 9:26 PM, Raymond said:

Will certainly read that. So many different people posting about MM on different forums!

@Raymond and @Unclouded when you have some time this academic research paper on MM is also very insightful and interesting. Not sure if you came across it on the thread earlier: Fictional Narratives as a Laboratory for the Social Cognition of Behavioral Change: My Ajussi https://www.mdpi.com/2076-0787/10/4/120/htm

 

It takes a while to read the set-up, but then when the authors get into the Tie-Up Cycle and how it develops between Dong Hoon and Ji An, it’s a fun way to revisit the show. Downloading it to the phone or tablet makes it easier to read. 

 

 

[Raymond]

On 7/13/2023 at 1:06 PM, sweetroad said:

@Raymond and @Unclouded when you have some time this academic research paper on MM is also very insightful and interesting. Not sure if you came across it on the thread earlier: Fictional Narratives as a Laboratory for the Social Cognition of Behavioral Change: My Ajussi https://www.mdpi.com/2076-0787/10/4/120/htm

 

It takes a while to read the set-up, but then when the authors get into the Tie-Up Cycle and how it develops between Dong Hoon and Ji An, it’s a fun way to revisit the show. Downloading it to the phone or tablet makes it easier to read. 

 

 

Will certainly read. The research article labelled My Ajussi as romantic drama, very clearly and definitely. Trust the drama would always been seen as romantic drama in western culture, since the characters are similar in a way to a number of romantic classic novels, films. And no need to make up some terms to classify the drama to hide its romantic nature. The paper is written in beautiful, simple English indeed. The ladybug scene is described in the most colourful way than any review I read.

I am currently reading the dramabeans episode 14 review posts. The key arguments in the middle part of the posts is the question by shippers what's the reasons those keep posting the same comments from early in the drama, that if DH divorced YH and ended up with JA, that the drama would become the most hated drama, and be destroyed in the fundamental level. The reasons given being JA just a adoring child, never knew love hence she wouldn't know what's her love to DH, just a child's love. So DH would be taking advantage of a child who hero worship him, if having any relationship with her (seems dirty mind).

So my opinion is, irrespective of what story being shown in the drama, they just judged JA totally based on her look, right from the beginning, nothing else. And what kind of drama MM would become based on their storyline? How can it still be a great drama, a child play? And watching a work of art with colour? Will not see the real colour. And why would they picked IU to play in a child role, her 2 previous dramas, Producers and Moon Lovers, both romantic ones already? Or would IU been interested, at 25 years old, queen of Kpop for already many years, to play an immature girl who not even understand what man/woman love is? Sorry to be judgemental.

[Unclouded]

On 7/13/2023 at 3:30 AM, Raymond said:

I am currently reading the dramabeans episode 14 review posts.

 

One great comment I read there was this: "Yoon Hee said in an earlier episode that she gets a feeling from DH that he’s lost something essential but he hasn’t. I think this was the first time she fully understood what he had lost (his best friend/other half). He’s not the kind of person to ever have told her, and she’s not close enough to his friends to have been told. I think that look on her face was her realisation of how little she knows him, how little of himself he trusts her with."

 

Another thing that stood out about that episode was the way DH was walking back after hearing JH tell him about JA moving away. The camera made it seem so shaky, a little bit like when he fell in front of the railway tracks the first time. The heaviness of his breathing after JA calls him, and the downcast expression on his face, it seemed so laboured for him to move forward. 

 

On 7/13/2023 at 3:30 AM, Raymond said:

And why would they picked IU to play in a child role, her 2 previous dramas, Producers and Moon Lovers, both romantic ones already? Or would IU been interested, at 25 years old, queen of Kpop for already many years, to play an immature girl who not even understand what man/woman love is?

 

I've only seen Hotel Del Luna before watching this, but her character in that despite being a full romantic drama with more skinship didn't feel anywhere near as romantic as JA here. Just the way she gazes at DH throughout, or sighs when she hears his voice on the recording, it's so moving. The comparisons that posters were making to Goblin confused me because the FL there is obviously immature (which made it unwatchable for me) in a way that JA clearly isn't. The idea that she has any hero worship towards him is just silly. She's very much aware of his shortcomings (his passivity) and nudges him along in a quite paternal way. And she knows that DH isn't great at saying what he means - when she sees him on the train after the give me slippers speech, she tells him that nobody would believe he was harsh to her. 

 

The characters easiest to compare JA to are people who are in one-sided loves, who have a similar longing. But she's a lot more successful (romantically) than they are, and she doesn't make mistakes because of jealousy. Her feelings are so straightforward and purely loving. It's DH where all the confusion is, where you have to do so much thinking about to figure out what he actually means/feels. 

[dongans]

On 7/11/2023 at 7:11 PM, Unclouded said:

So I agree that there's some respect (as co-parents) there. It's the warm feelings or emotional closeness that I think of with friendships that I'm struggling to see. I think DH is someone where it's a big deal that he's close to or friends with someone.

I don't think that he has feelings or emotinal closeness with YH as well; DH married just to fulfill his duties as a traditional man. He was at the university at that time, working, so he needed a wife, and than children. That's the traditional step for most of us. That's the traditional step that his friend avoided, and he needed to fulfill because of expectations. I don't think he really hates her, but he respects her (more like a partner). Her betrayal comes from that place, in my opinion. How much of respect and facade he is putting into it for her to be at his desk, I don't really know.

 

On 7/11/2023 at 7:11 PM, Unclouded said:

Isn't that the implication of what he says to JA, that when you really know someone, nothing they do bothers you?

That reminded me of episode 8 from My Liberation Notes, where Mi Jeong (female version of DH) says to Gu that "you can do anything in front of someone that likes you". Park Hae Young thinks about that more than we know... The unpeeling feeling; To be "naked" and raw and vulnerable only in front of someone that you love.

 

 

On 7/13/2023 at 4:30 AM, Raymond said:

And why would they picked IU to play in a child role, her 2 previous dramas, Producers and Moon Lovers, both romantic ones already? Or would IU been interested, at 25 years old, queen of Kpop for already many years, to play an immature girl who not even understand what man/woman love is? Sorry to be judgemental.

Kim Won Suk said that he wanted IU for this role. Like, she was the one and only JA on his mind; she even said that she would quit instead of jeopardize the project, but he said no, that she was essential.

Why she was this valuable for him?

 

--

 

When I was reading the script, I used to translate lots of conversations, or even the chart about the characters, and the translation would always refer her as a child. This bothers me a bit. But I want to say something here because her age is a bit controversial.

 

We can all agree that JA is not a minor, she has 20-21 years old in the drama, and in most countries she is an adult. But a woman in her 20-21yo is immature and can be easily manipulated by an older adult (especially a male). The prefrontal cortex only stops developing at 25yo, this brain region is related to the planning of complex behaviors and thoughts, personality expression, decision-making and modulation of social behavior. Until 25yo, I can't say that she is really making good decisions by herself or if she is just being reckless. Because we can say that she did tons of reckless RickRoll'D.

If we didn't know JA's past that much, we would have a different approach to their relationship. Because of that, Park Hae Young needed to balance this alrealy unbalanced duo. So she made JA a "street cat", that has tons of "knowledge" that DH hasn't. They made her able to kill and muderer, because thats the opposite of a saint/good person, and we usually think that a child is a synonym of saint and a pure figure.

That said, for me, when DH says that JA is a child, he is actualy saying that she is immature, because of the 20yo difference between them. Just like for exemple, if I was 35 yo, I would say that a 20yo is a child because doesn't know a thing about the world. 20yo is a child? Of course not. Is just a way of saying that this person is immature.

But the non shippers associate a child to a literally 5yo.

[Raymond]

At the end of Casablanca, in pushing Ingrid Bergman to join her husband to board the freedom flight, the last words from Humphrey Bogart to her is 'kid, our love died long times ago'. While Bergman just couldn't stop crying in leaving, the captain friend told Bogart 'you are lying'. Bogart replied 'she is better not with me in flying everywhere in joining the fight against the Nazis'. So Bogart is using his age difference to keep the younger girl friend away, that they can't be together, no matter how much they loved each other. Feeling MM is using classic Hollywood films formula once again.

[Unclouded]

10 hours ago, dongans said:

But a woman in her 20-21yo is immature and can be easily manipulated by an older adult (especially a male). The prefrontal cortex only stops developing at 25yo, this brain region is related to the planning of complex behaviors and thoughts, personality expression, decision-making and modulation of social behavior. Until 25yo, I can't say that she is really making good decisions by herself or if she is just being reckless. Because we can say that she did tons of reckless RickRoll'D.

If we didn't know JA's past that much, we would have a different approach to their relationship. Because of that, Park Hae Young needed to balance this alrealy unbalanced duo. So she made JA a "street cat", that has tons of "knowledge" that DH hasn't. They made her able to kill and muderer, because thats the opposite of a saint/good person, and we usually think that a child is a synonym of saint and a pure figure.

I love this explanation, it makes so much sense. Have you seen the Chinese movie Better Days? The way you described JA instantly evoked the ML from that movie, who's quite a bit reckless (though a bit younger). To add to what you wrote, I think another way PHY compensated is by making DH so, so passive. He needed someone less restrained to push him. 

 

10 hours ago, dongans said:

That said, for me, when DH says that JA is a child, he is actualy saying that she is immature, because of the 20yo difference between them. Just like for exemple, if I was 35 yo, I would say that a 20yo is a child because doesn't know a thing about the world. 20yo is a child? Of course not. Is just a way of saying that this person is immature.

 

Exactly! It's an expectation he has. He's confused and saddened that someone as young as her can see through him so clearly and empathize with him so strongly. There's an expectation that she should be happier, more innocent. When she tells the people in the neighbourhood that she wants to be their age so life wouldn't be so hard, it makes them feel protective of her. SH has one of his first brotherly moments here, when he tells the neighbour to look out for weirdos around JA's place. And they look sad on the way back after dropping her off ("Life wasn't that easy when we were younger either"). They see her now as a person with her own struggles, and not as an immature child afraid of getting older. But there's still distance here because JH's comparing her past to JA's present. And later JH calls her "a good kid" when talking about how she stood and waited next to her in the morning. So that generation gap hasn't fully gone away. 

 

As @Raymond said earlier, dramas usually only have the 2 main leads in the final scene. Here that means that while we see JA and DH on an even-footing, we don't see that gap fully closed between JA and the neighbourhood. I remember @sweetroad pointing out the comfort everyone had at JA's funeral joking around, so a sense of closeness is there at least. But it would've been nice to see that gap clearly bridged. 

 

One thing that somewhat mitigates this is that it feels like the neighbourhood is similarly protective of DH. So it isn't that JA's the only person they're looking out for because of her age. Maybe it's his shyness that increases the way they want to take care of him. 

 

16 hours ago, dongans said:

When I was reading the script, I used to translate lots of conversations, or even the chart about the characters, and the translation would always refer her as a child. This bothers me a bit. But I want to say something here because her age is a bit controversial.

 

I feel that way too. I think that 99% of the time, a relationship like this would be wrong. This just happens to be the exception to the rule, but the instinct that commenters have against it is totally valid and normal. 

[sweetroad]

On 7/15/2023 at 7:32 AM, Unclouded said:

Another thing that stood out about that episode was the way DH was walking back after hearing JH tell him about JA moving away. The camera made it seem so shaky, a little bit like when he fell in front of the railway tracks the first time. The heaviness of his breathing after JA calls him, and the downcast expression on his face, it seemed so laboured for him to move forward. 

 

Yes! The camera motion reinforced that this was a rough moment for DH. Then when JA called him, her camera was steady and sure (I think to highlight her resolve and determination, and surety) and the camera on DH continued to be handheld and shaky. It was so interesting!

 

This camera work may have been mirrored in a couple of other scenes as well, that don't come to mind at the moment. I had thought it was mirrored when DH was in the movie theater telling JA to call him, but I just checked and it looks like in that scene, DH's framing was a colder blue, and JA is lit in warmer tones. The camera work on both isn't all that notable. But as was mentioned earlier on this thread, the difference in color tones highlighted DH's resolve to reconnect with JA again even after he discovered the wiretapping, and JA was the one being shaken up in hearing from him through the wiretap.

 

I was never all that interested in cinematographical techniques, using OSTs, developing chemistry, and screenwriting before MM, but this show has been such a good study of how to use these things to wonderful, profound effect!

 

On 7/15/2023 at 7:32 AM, Unclouded said:

The idea that she has any hero worship towards him is just silly. She's very much aware of his shortcomings (his passivity) and nudges him along in a quite paternal way.

 

Exactly. Hero worship would be a crush that's almost blind to the hero's flaws, and JA sees DH's flaws as reason to protect him. She doesn't just dismiss his flaws or overlook them.

 

23 hours ago, dongans said:

If we didn't know JA's past that much, we would have a different approach to their relationship. Because of that, Park Hae Young needed to balance this alrealy unbalanced duo. So she made JA a "street cat", that has tons of "knowledge" that DH hasn't. They made her able to kill and muderer, because thats the opposite of a saint/good person, and we usually think that a child is a synonym of saint and a pure figure.

 

Great point. She's not what we think of when we think of innocent children. She's learned how to fight and survive, and she teaches DH how to stand up for himself as well. I think PHY also balanced her out by having her take such good care of her halmeoni. Someone said before that halmeoni is an "ember" of humanity for JA, and I agree - if she didn't have halmeoni she might just be a desperate monster trying to survive, with total disregard for how she's impacting others.

 

15 hours ago, Raymond said:

Feeling MM is using classic Hollywood films formula once again.

 

I've never watched Casablanca, but thank goodness it sounds like MM has a better, happier ending!  

 

5 hours ago, Unclouded said:

SH has one of his first brotherly moments here, when he tells the neighbour to look out for weirdos around JA's place. 

 

Oh, nice point!

 

 

5 hours ago, Unclouded said:

I feel that way too. I think that 99% of the time, a relationship like this would be wrong. This just happens to be the exception to the rule, but the instinct that commenters have against it is totally valid and normal. 

 

Totally agree. Especially since they haven't yet seen JA in her more mature, grown-up glory at the end of the show.

[Raymond]

On 7/17/2023 at 12:47 AM, sweetroad said:

 

I've never watched Casablanca, but thank goodness it sounds like MM has a better, happier ending!  

 

Endings are by design of the writers using the character of the 3rd person in the relationship triangle. In Casablanca the young husband of the female lead is a good person/husband (he was thought killed in the war but somehow escaped the Nazis and survived and reappeared), while the wife of DH is not good to DH at all, with no love in the marriage. So one has the TU-C opening closed, while the other has a wide opening at the end allowing the eventual successful formation of a couple. Hence the 2 'affairs' would have different endings naturally.

By the way in the last minute of the drama 'I will call you' is a milestone for DH/JA relationship. All their previous communications are via text, with one farewell phone call via phone booth, all meant to be secretive (calls via phone booth by YH to JY are secretive affair type too). Now DH could be with anyone, colleagues, brothers, mother, JH Bar, when JA called. So their relationship now in the full open, no hiding anymore.

Jumping to the dramabeans review on the last episode lollypip's comment summary said the true and unselfish love of JA and DH for each other changed everything. But then the first few beanies posts already changed to DH's "act of kindness' changed everything ('kindness' never mentioned in lollypip's review), avoiding the word 'love' at all cost. There is nothing kind at all when DH mentioned the pretty girl to the bar owner wanting to meet with her! Nor hanging around at the subway exit hopefully to see JA! Clear signs of DH entering into the TU-C zone according to the research article. And really interesting to know how JA passed DH's compatibility test via him witnessing JA's love for her granny, showing her the moon, being the same as his love towards his mom and brothers. Same kind of family value. The PD/writer shown us, when DH told JA 'you are a good person' is the moment DH admired JA, not pity, and realised the inner and outside beauties of her. His ideal partner type.

The age gap problem is only from the viewers. None in the drama ever said JA too young for DH, including the brothers, JH, community friends, bar owner, the granny, everyone in the company including the chairman, directors, gossip girl, and most important, YH and JY. And DH never rejected JA's confessions because she is too young for him, only problems always his marriage status (not even his overseas western educated son, another clue to the happy ending), and he is her boss. Right from beginning he worried about gossip dining with her, as no one would see her as a child, but a young woman which KH said is dangerous. Hence the writer never designed the story with the age gap problem being an obstacle (otherwise this relationship is doomed right from the beginning as it is not something that can be overcome), likely using classic novels and movies as framework.

[sweetroad]

On 7/17/2023 at 3:27 AM, Raymond said:

By the way in the last minute of the drama 'I will call you' is a milestone for DH/JA relationship. All their previous communications are via text, with one farewell phone call via phone booth, all meant to be secretive (calls via phone booth by YH to JY are secretive affair type too). Now DH could be with anyone, colleagues, brothers, mother, JH Bar, when JA called.

 

Ooh, this is so insightful! Never thought of that before.

 

On 7/17/2023 at 3:27 AM, Raymond said:

There is nothing kind at all when DH mentioned the pretty girl to the bar owner wanting to meet with her! Nor hanging around at the subway exit hopefully to see JA! Clear signs of DH entering into the TU-C zone according to the research article.

 

Glad you read the paper - wasn't it so interesting? This point above is so true - though he says she's just a girl, we can see the blooming of his attraction to her. He's definitely attracted to her physically, and then as he gets to know her she passes his compatibility test.

 

I really enjoyed the way the paper persuaded the reader that the Tie-Up Cycle between JA and DH developed realistically and solidly. I also liked how they touched on the scene with DH and KH on omma's couch watching soccer (Ep 16), and how melancholy DH was. The researchers said something like, It's painful to be outside of the Tie-Up Cycle if you're in one, and it made sense that DH was so sad without JA there. It was a perfect set-up for how happy he was when he finally saw her again at the coffee shop after the time skip.

 

On 7/17/2023 at 3:27 AM, Raymond said:

Hence the writer never designed the story with the age gap problem being an obstacle (otherwise this relationship is doomed right from the beginning as it is not something that can be overcome), likely using classic novels and movies as framework.

 

Once I realized that the age gap was really never mentioned in the show I was impressed with how PHY removed every other potential obstacle.

 

It's ironic that in other shows, like in Dinner Mate, the actors for the ML and the 2nd female lead were 18 years apart in real life (and had enough skinship in flashbacks), and no viewers had any problems with that. But they announced LSK and IU and put just a hint of romance in the promotional materials for MM, and everyone freaked out. It's odd.

[Unclouded]

On 7/16/2023 at 10:47 AM, sweetroad said:

Hero worship would be a crush that's almost blind to the hero's flaws, and JA sees DH's flaws as reason to protect him. She doesn't just dismiss his flaws or overlook them.

 

Maybe it's cheating to cite an interview, but there's one with IU and LSK on the givemeslippers site that says exactly that:

 

LSK: I just couldn’t get it. (laughs) Why do you like me? Hahaha!

IU: I just do (laughs). Just going along with the script, I felt there was absolutely no reason not to like him.  He’s such a compassionate, warm person. He’s not perfect, he has flaws, and he puts up with others to the extent that he’s lonely and suffers, and he’s able to see people for who they are without distortion. I found that really attractive.

 

Maybe the strongest argument for the hero worship side is that in some ways she is like a fan. She desperately wants him to be happy, is willing to go to extremes to help him, and doesn't have any expectation of being together (but is willing to try her luck). She protects and defends his reputation. She tracks everything that he does and deeply breaches his privacy. Most of the time, she's distant from him, watching (at work) or listening from somewhere else. I suspect there are more scenes of him hanging out with his brothers than there are of him spending time with her in person. 

 

But can you really have 'hero worship' for someone once you know them as intimately as JA does DH? He's not an idol who only shows her his attractive side. Her feelings starts from empathy, hearing him confront the guy who bullies SH and his passion for his family. And he's not so distant from her that she has to see him from afar. They live in the same neighbourhood. He cares for her enough to fight a loan shark for her, and she hears him struggling the day after. He makes it clear they're emotionally at the same level when he tells her that their lives are the same. He makes it clear she's often on his mind by talking about her with his brothers and JH. There's nothing 'blind' or obviously one-sided (from her perspective) about her feelings at all. She doesn't lionize him or put him on a pedestal - she just thinks he's a good guy.