Unclouded

I feel like there's a level of helpfulness in between the people who only helped four times and DH, and that's the janitor. I think he's as kind of a person as DH is, but just wasn't as knowledgeable to help with her grandma, or bold enough to confront the loan shark. But he's still the place JA goes when she's sick and needs help. Realistically people won't have be able to live up to what DH can do, but being as kind as the janitor is more than enough. I was able to rewatch the last few episodes recently. Strangely I didn't really feel jarred by it - maybe it because I don't really see My Mister as contributing to what happened to LSK. It was a lot different when I watched The Dark Knight for the first time as a kid and was convinced that playing the Joker contributed to Heath Ledger's unstable mental health. But I think it would be really tough to watch much of the first half of this show again, because DH is in such a rough shape there.

It also doesn't take that long for JA to understands him, once she can hear him. When she's thinking of the moments she liked listening to (ep 15), they're all relatively early on (eps 4-6). It's like DH and JA got to know each other over the first six episodes, and everything after is them doing what they have to do for each other, to protect each other, now that they know how precious the other is. Even though I've seen so many actual romance dramas before and after, it's hard to surpass the intensity of the feelings here. It's impressive that JA can see the humanity in DH, because he's in a position where he's so restrained and subdued. He doesn't truly express himself when he's at home or at the bar with his friends. At work he just looks pitiful, he gets bullied by his superior for not wanting to cut corners. Like it must be so boring to see everything about a human being in each moment, and yet that's all she needs to fall for him.

Maybe this is a sacrilegious thing to say considering how well people reacted to Parasite, but I thought My Mister used LSK's talent in a way that no drama or movie I've seen with him came even remotely close to doing. That sense of humanity - when LJA says that by listening to him, she felt what it must be to really be human - I can't think of anyone else who could've pulled that off. I feel like there are other actors in the K-drama world that often play these hyper-confident, very charismatic characters all the time. I wish there'd be more writers like Park Hae Young to use their talent to create more meaningful characters, to portray men who are a bit more relatable and interesting, and move us all the more because of that. Her characters are the only ones where I truly feel (regardless of gender), that part of me is on the screen.

Yeah, I liked it a lot! I especially enjoyed all the scenes at the police station, it felt realistic (or at least as realistic as a timeloop could be). I found an aerial video of the ending scene being shot on Twitter, looks pretty similar to the original. One thing I realized recently is that when JA hears DH's voice in the restaurant and just starts gravitating towards him, it's a bit similar to when he sees her across the street when he's driving with his younger brother and just keeps gazing at her. Like there's the same sense of nobody else being there other than each other - her face, and his voice. And in those moments, they just want to follow each other.

I wish they waited a bit closer to the show started, now I feel a sense of anticipation. Seeing her look different makes me wonder if it'll be an ending with more of a sense of longing. I saw a movie (Go Brother) with the actress that was pretty good, so I'm optimistic about this acting-wise.

I've had this same problem with comparisons, but I feel like that happens when other dramas have a similar subject or theme but either lack the same emotional depth, they feel contrived in some of the decisions that characters make, or have scenes that seem a bit purposeless. Especially death or funeral scenes where you wonder if someone really had to die, especially if it's all forgotten about like 20 minutes later. The review that you linked was really interesting. I liked this section a lot: Even though JA and DH both seem to realize very quickly (pre-wiretap) that they are similar, there's an initial reluctance to get closer. JA reacts so negatively when DH first starts talking about her, his pity for her to others. Being that vulnerable makes it easy for others to look down on you. But his actual feelings about his life (feeling that he has nothing, that he's being punished) weren't things JA learns through the wiretap, but come directly from him. The wiretap makes every action of his known to her, but his thoughts and feelings he has to share on his own. Maybe what the similarity allows is that DH and JA can see each other and be evaluated by each other without the negative emotions they each have for themselves. Deep down, both of them want someone that can comfort them. I love the way this reviewer thinks about what it means for relationships to be fascinating and precious - that it isn't just the grandma admiring/approving of JA and DH, but the way we should live our own lives. In order for a community to last over time, don't there have to be meaningful relationships across ages? If the neighbourhood is like a warm blanket made up of the people inside, it slowly gets frayed when people move elsewhere or pass away. But by forming new bonds, a new row gets stitched onto that blanket, and it perseveres.

Even JA assumes he'll be upset when he finds out. And at the funeral she wonders if that's his last kindness, and whether he'll just leave her. Maybe it hasn't truly hit her, how much of a difference she's made for him, how unique that relationship is (until she remembers her grandma's words). I guess it's also an expectation from other dramas, lead characters always having to split up for some reason, justified or not. But there don't really seem to be those kinds of 'bad communication' moments here

Just as much of a sign is the way he's obviously thinking about her and her words when she's not there. And whenever she hears herself brought up around DH, she just stops in the street and listens so attentively. Yeah, if JA confessed to him again the way she did the first time, there's no way he'd push her away now. But also, I think that whole scene shows a change in the emotional relationship between the two and not just a physical difference. They don't pity each other anymore! Earlier, so much of their mutual feelings was centred around that. DH even tells the monk earlier in the same episode before the timeskip that JA is the most pitiful person he knows. But that seems to be replaced now with happiness, joy to see each other changed for the best. The way JA walks towards DH once she hears his voice at the coffee shop reminds me of the heart scene where DH stares at JA on the sidewalk after playing soccer. They're both totally fixated. JA just walks away from her friends with a distracted nod and follows his voice, while DH keeps looking at her while driving away. In those moments it feels like there's only one other person in each other's world.

The quote about knowing someone, I interpret it as meaning 'I know you, I know that you are good and have good intentions, so nothing you do will bother me'. To accept everything about someone does seem like another way of saying love though. It reminds me a bit about what the monk says - that there isn't a single thing he hates in the world. I think DH doesn't know his wife that well, he doesn't intuitively grasp her mental state the way he does with JA. And he doesn't talk to her or share things with her that would help them understand what they don't know. Only the affair and the subsequent argument lets their true feelings come to the surface and be known to each other. But I do think there's a self-censor in the janitor's place. It's still strange to me that he doesn't do anything (i.e. try to comfort her or move next to her) after she starts crying. It's weird to imagine him just watching her cry, that doesn't feel like a very realistic response (especially after the speech he just gave!). At that point, I don't think there's much left to do for JA. DH's safe, he tells her that 'she saved him', so she doesn't really need to protect him anymore. But just because JA's left the neighbourhood doesn't mean they're not with her. She's following her grandma's advice (and also her promise to DH) to be happy, as the way to repay them for everything. Maybe she still kept that promise to Jung Hee - to meet during those 2 times of the year - while being away in Busan.

I wonder if it's meant to mirror the way the monk left the neighbourhood. DH says in ep 8: "The entire neighbourhood was in shock... he said he wanted to try becoming a person who had nothing". When JA leaves, the people in the neighbourhood are all surprised, and they ask her if she needs to go so far. But more than that, at that point she's lost her grandma, and by (temporarily) cutting ties with DH, she gets to experience what it's like to have nothing, to have nobody. To see what remains after. DH starts to experience this as well when he finds himself alone at his apartment after his wife leaves. And after experiencing this, we see JA teaching others (about sign language) just like how the monk guides others. What the monk is saying as Jung Hee comes to see him is important: "People think that outside things cause discord in their hearts and that outside things fill their hearts with joy... one sees the things that one sees within oneself in the outside world... humans are bound to see things they desire. They end up searching for the things they want to see within themselves in the outside world." When JA gets beat up by the loan shark, she plays DH's voice telling her that she's a good person, over and over. Similarly, DH is comforted when JA texts him 'it's not a big deal'. Eventually, JA and DH will be able to say these things directly to themselves. In this relationship, where they pity themselves and each other, being able to relieve their self-pity opens up a different way of being with each other. To be happy with others, you have to be happy with yourself, right?

I wonder if she just stayed away from the bar for a bit after hearing Jung Hee's excuse, to give her more space. I was thinking of worry a lot here (though not said by PHY), it seemed like the main emotion involved in a lot of the scenes we think indicate 'love'. DH worries about JA missing her stop, and stays nearby to see her arrive. JA worries about DH when she hears him fall near the railway tracks, and sees him at the bridge. Maybe worry is a greater feeling here, because it's shown like a stronger version of pity or sympathy. It's more than just feeling sad for someone, they think of each other as important. Worry relates to care - DH's biggest show of affection for his wife is always asking to buy groceries for her. I've been wondering recently about the speech DH gives about 'the things that make you you'. To me it seems to relate to why JA had to move to Busan, that she couldn't just be someone reliant on DH without ever having explored herself elsewhere. And it shows why DH has to break up with his wife, that he has to find a new way to live, a new set of anchors after his first set breaks down. Because just living just one way (the family man, the loyal friend/subordinate) makes you vulnerable when anything goes wrong with that identity. And maybe PHY is trying to say that people have to find some kind of internal strength that other relationships can build from, that keep them going when they're just by themselves.