[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[Raymond]

7 hours ago, Unclouded said:

 

Maybe I'm misremembering, but I thought it was JA who told YH that she felt jealous. I thought what YH felt at seeing JA's protectiveness of her husband was remorse, that she should've been the one doing that instead. The feelings that YH wants from DH don't seem to be the same as the ones that JA evokes. 

 

If DJY was more genuine in his love for her, would YH be bothered by JA's closeness to DH at all? The whole scene where DJY defends why he's dating YH feels a bit strange the more I think about it. He gets in trouble for saying that the safest  type of woman to date is a married woman, which is obviously nonsense. He just doesn't want to be even more vulnerable in front of JA. But if DJY loved YH enough to be more open about his feelings rather than having to make up silly excuses like this, I feel like she would've gladly stayed with him. 

Fully agreed. DJY just treated YH as his mistress, never wanted any responsibility nor long term relationship. He was just playing with her. Once learnt the truth YH simplied felt really cheated and degraded, as her goal was always to divorce DH and marry DJY, from the very 1st episode. So just forced to turn back to DH in a way.

That's the reason I kept saying if DH not planning to have a long term relationship eventually with JA, while still keeping the emotional bond with her (clearly her is man woman type), without clearly rejecting her, is somewhat similar to DJY's irresponsibility in emotional level, even though not physical level.

[sadiesmith]

This might be the first review I've ever come across that describes the writing of MM as "shady."  That's what happens when you read too many reviews that insist their relationship is strictly platonic.

 

 

[dongans]

12 hours ago, Unclouded said:

Maybe I'm misremembering, but I thought it was JA who told YH that she felt jealous. I thought what YH felt at seeing JA's protectiveness of her husband was remorse, that she should've been the one doing that instead. The feelings that YH wants from DH don't seem to be the same as the ones that JA evokes. 

Oh I can be wrong lol I think I'm mixing things up in my memory, indeed was JA who said that was jealous... but I don't know, I still think YH said something T_T I need to rewatch that scene where YH wants to pay for JA stay away from DH more at the beginning... I can be mixing this up right there.

I thought that was a little bit bitter because she should be the one doing that. You know when things should have been more but it wasn't? Its a bitterness feeling about the fact that their marriage failed... thats what I always thought. The feeling that they both should have worked out but they chose to avoid it. I'm not saying that what YH wants from DH is the same tho, I always thought that she had a bitterness feeling towards it, like I said, that they lost their timing. Is about something from the past, not from the present or future. Because in the present and in the future she doesn't like DH anymore. I felt that she was bitter because she wanted that to have happened in the past, because then, things wouldn't have aggravated.

[Raymond]

On 8/11/2023 at 9:54 PM, sadiesmith said:

This might be the first review I've ever come across that describes the writing of MM as "shady."  That's what happens when you read too many reviews that insist their relationship is strictly platonic.

 

 

Indeed funny to see this twitter upset realising he is tricked by all those lies writing MM is platonic. He wouldn't be the only one insisting age gap romance being inappropriate, unacceptable, to say MM is shady. Honestly most non shippers won’t find MM interesting, I would say.

2 of my female relatives seen MM recently on my recommendation both enjoyed the show, both see its very special unique romantic nature and the happy ending, with their minds not coloured by the controversial now 4, 5 years ago, possibly.

[sweetroad]

On 8/5/2023 at 4:48 AM, Raymond said:

would the wish of the other key elderly woman in this drama, mother of the Park brothers, that her 3 sons would all end up with the partner they could live happily with, left unanswered? This is Korea where family elders are much more respected than in western world, and in fact main parts of MM seems a long journey of fulfilling her wish?

 

Agreed - the show put in omma's birthday wish for a reason. Of course, some could argue that having Dong Hoon and Yoon Hee reconciling at the end would fulfill omma's wish, but we never, ever saw any scenes of DH and YH actually happy through the entire show. Even the flashbacks they had were of unhappy, tense moments. The only smidgen of happiness was in the photo of Ji Seok's birthday, but we never saw any happiness "live".

 

Wouldn't it have been nice to see Ji An's halmeoni meet omma? I can imagine omma welcoming in halmeoni with open arms, even if they couldn't communicate verbally with each other. 

 

On 8/5/2023 at 11:58 PM, Unclouded said:

Emotional affairs and infidelity are typical of midlife crises, but the motivation here feels so different. It's not out of a need to 'discover oneself' or live out failed dreams, but earnestly grasping for the human connections that both of them are missing.

 

This is a great exploration of mid-life crisis in the show. In fact, Do Joon Young's actions - having an affair with Yoon Hee - almost feels more of a standard mid-life crisis, selfishly reaching out to take something that's not his, without really planning to build a future marriage with her.

 

On 8/5/2023 at 11:58 PM, Unclouded said:

JA leads with her feelings, her whole relationship with DH starts from a shared emotional understanding. So once he finds out about the details that cause her to be so worried, he's already taken her side emotionally and has no problem supporting her.

 

Good point!

 

On 8/5/2023 at 11:58 PM, Unclouded said:

But YH seems to have started with what she wants, without really talking about why she feels that way. I don't think she confesses how she feels stifled, alone, unloved (the heart of her insecurity about family) until it's too late. When she says "you don't know what I really need", it's not like she didn't try to let him know. All her attempts never got through to him. 

 

Yes. It seems that YH kept bringing up what she thought was the solution - getting out of Hugye - instead of allowing DH to work with her to explore other options.

 

 

On 8/11/2023 at 6:54 AM, sadiesmith said:

This might be the first review I've ever come across that describes the writing of MM as "shady."  That's what happens when you read too many reviews that insist their relationship is strictly platonic.

 

The twitter (X??) post no longer shows up here - is there another link to the review? Poor guy, though, feeling duped while watching the show (is that what happened?).  

[Raymond]

15 hours ago, sweetroad said:

 

Agreed - the show put in omma's birthday wish for a reason. Of course, some could argue that having Dong Hoon and Yoon Hee reconciling at the end would fulfill omma's wish, but we never, ever saw any scenes of DH and YH actually happy through the entire show. Even the flashbacks they had were of unhappy, tense moments. The only smidgen of happiness was in the photo of Ji Seok's birthday, but we never saw any happiness "live".

 

Wouldn't it have been nice to see Ji An's halmeoni meet omma? I can imagine omma welcoming in halmeoni with open arms, even if they couldn't communicate verbally with each other. 

DH already has a long term partner in YH at the time of omma's birthday. If omma knows already YH and DH are happy with each other, there is no point for omma to make that birthday wish anymore?

Not to mention DH has no partner with YH gone overseas, there is not a single good thing happened between DH and YH in the whole drama that could repair their marriage nor bring them happiness (to each other), as far as I can recall.

[sweetroad]

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

DH already has a long term partner in YH at the time of omma's birthday. If omma knows already YH and DH are happy with each other, there is no point for omma to make that birthday wish anymore?

Not to mention DH has no partner with YH gone overseas, there is not a single good thing happened between DH and YH in the whole drama that could repair their marriage nor bring them happiness (to each other), as far as I can recall.

 

Oh yes! Good points. I'm sure omma can sense that DH and YH aren't happy - and she was bold enough to make that birthday wish in front of both of them.

 

And the show made it a point to show that there was hope for Ki Hoon and Yu Ra at the end - with YR stopping by the bar, and KH trying out writing again. And of course, omma announcing to DH that SH was probably going to get back together with Ae Ryun. All good things.

[sadiesmith]

On 8/13/2023 at 3:56 PM, sweetroad said:

The twitter (X??) post no longer shows up here - is there another link to the review? Poor guy, though, feeling duped while watching the show (is that what happened?).  

 

Unfortunately, the twitter account has been deactivated, which is too bad because I do enjoy reading the writer's thoughts on the kdrama and entertainment industry, and from the perspective of a French viewer. Yes, she feels it's all lies when people say the relationship is strictly non-romantic. She probably thinks the production team was the one promoting this platonic narrative. She says that while Ji-an is forthcoming in her interest and attraction in PDH, PDH feigns his disinterest rather resentfully. I don't remember her exact words. And so she thinks this is a case of the writer being "shady," and then she compares it to Hong Sang Soo's movies and the way he writes his relationships. 

[Unclouded]

How many times does DH smile fully in the whole show? I was rewatching recently and came across the scene where he's overjoyed to see his monk friend in his neighbourhood, and he smiles so brightly. I feel like that rarely happens. I almost feel like it's more meaningful that he's the one who gives the flowers to his friend, rather than the monk then giving them flowers to JH. 

[sweetroad]

On 8/14/2023 at 9:59 PM, sadiesmith said:

She says that while Ji-an is forthcoming in her interest and attraction in PDH, PDH feigns his disinterest rather resentfully.

 

That's an intriguing insight - I'll have to watch for indications of PDH's resentment next time.

 

On 8/14/2023 at 9:59 PM, sadiesmith said:

And so she thinks this is a case of the writer being "shady," and then she compares it to Hong Sang Soo's movies and the way he writes his relationships. 

 

Have you watched any of Hong Sang Soo's movies? I only watched "Our Sonhui" and thought it was a bit meandering and slow. I'm not even sure what happened when I try to remember it.

 

On 8/14/2023 at 10:22 PM, Unclouded said:

How many times does DH smile fully in the whole show?

 

Yeah. Not much. Definitely with the monk, and then definitely at the end when he sees Ji An. Perhaps when he sees Jung Hee after her trip to Thailand, too.

 

@africandramalover once mentioned that when DH sees Monk in the neighborhood and smiles at him, they're connected by yellow paint on the street. Combined with the yellow flowers, it's like the show is confirming their friendship even though they have to be apart in their daily lives.

[sadiesmith]

10 hours ago, sweetroad said:

That's an intriguing insight - I'll have to watch for indications of PDH's resentment next time.

 

 

After reading what she wrote again, I think "resentment" is not quite what she said but more like he is "triggered" by Ji-an's confessions, and yet he can't be honest about his feelings. The twitter (X) account is back on, so read her analysis there before she takes down her account aagain.

 

https://twitter.com/oceanoflife_/status/1689737694509772800

 

I have not tried to watch a Hong Sang Soo's movie in its entirety, but I don't think I am "sophisticated" enough of a movie watcher to appreciate his way of telling a story.  

[Unclouded]

On 6/11/2023 at 2:35 PM, sweetroad said:

Have you also watched This Week, My Wife is Having an Affair with LSK? Very snappy and fresh.

 

So I just finished watching this, and it's one of the only shows (A Piece of Your Mind is the other) where I actually wish it was the full 16 instead of just 12 episodes. I wish there was more of Soo Yeon in general, especially her feelings and thoughts towards the end. I felt like there was more to resolve, that sometimes the smiles that they had for each other came a little too easily. After 6 episodes, I took some time to think and was able to drag myself out of taking sides, and that made the rest of the show much more interesting and much less stressful to watch. There were a lot of important questions that get obscured when picking sides (i.e. does she still love him, what does she really want). Maybe the main takeaway is to not get hung up on how people express themselves, but be empathetic enough to get at the core problem. 

 

I also couldn't help compare it to My Mister. I already liked YH a lot, but she's gone up even more because I admire how forthright she is compared to SY (and at least her affair isn't with a married man). But she's also not as overburdened as her, so she has more bandwidth to express herself. Hyeon Woo is much more realistic (though not as likable) than DH is, especially in terms of conflict. If DH was SY's husband, there just wouldn't be a conflict since he'd take care of the fair share of work at home. And even if he was cheated on, he'd think about his mistakes in the relationship, all the moments where his wife was unhappy, rather than getting defensive and feeling aggrieved. He'd be able to hear her side immediately rather than pushing her away. Even when YH and him finally have his fight, it's about her choosing someone like DJY and ignoring her child's best interests. With HW is more about himself (what did I do wrong to deserve this). 

 

Anyway I didn't want to write too much so I'll stop there. What did you think when watching it? 

[sweetroad]

On 8/19/2023 at 10:27 PM, sadiesmith said:

After reading what she wrote again, I think "resentment" is not quite what she said but more like he is "triggered" by Ji-an's confessions, and yet he can't be honest about his feelings. The twitter (X) account is back on, so read her analysis there before she takes down her account aagain.

 

https://twitter.com/oceanoflife_/status/1689737694509772800

 

Bummer, I couldn't ever find her review. Maybe because I don't have a Twitter account? It kept asking me to log in whenever I came a bit close to seeing a 2nd layer of posts or links.

 

On 8/19/2023 at 10:27 PM, sadiesmith said:

I have not tried to watch a Hong Sang Soo's movie in its entirety, but I don't think I am "sophisticated" enough of a movie watcher to appreciate his way of telling a story.  

 

Haha, that must be it for me, too. I found Our Sonhui really boring.

[Raymond]

5 hours ago, sweetroad said:

 

Bummer, I couldn't ever find her review. Maybe because I don't have a Twitter account? It kept asking me to log in whenever I came a bit close to seeing a 2nd layer of posts or links.

 

 

Haha, that must be it for me, too. I found Our Sonhui really boring.

Yes I have to create a Twitter account to read the posts too.

[sweetroad]

On 8/21/2023 at 2:34 AM, Unclouded said:

I also couldn't help compare it to My Mister. I already liked YH a lot, but she's gone up even more because I admire how forthright she is compared to SY (and at least her affair isn't with a married man).

 

Loved your analysis of This Week My Wife's Having an Affair, and your comparison of it to MM. I agree with you; it would have been great to have had more than 12 episodes, so we could see a truer resolution between Hyeon Woo and Soo Yeon, and how their family fared. The ending felt rushed and too simple after all that they had gone through. I did like seeing how much Hyeon Woo wanted to make Soo Yeon's new apartment comfortable for her and their son, and how they stayed connected even while separated. Her face when she saw HW and his neighbor eating dinner together was so sad! And the show's exploration of what a working mom has to deal with was spot-on for me.

 

I appreciated how you teased out how it would be if DH were married to SY. It seemed like SY wasn't as self-aware as Yoon Hee was, right? SY could have been more assertive about her needs. Also, it's as if Soo Yeon needed a Dong Hoon in her life, and Yoon Hee needed a Hyeon Woo - someone who could talk more, and be more broadly action-oriented and build into the marriage once YH expressed her needs.

 

On 8/21/2023 at 2:34 AM, Unclouded said:

Hyeon Woo is much more realistic (though not as likable) than DH is, especially in terms of conflict.

 

I really liked how HW confronted SY and her lover right away in the beginning of TWMWIHAA. If Dong Hoon had done that - if he had confronted both Do Joon Young and Yoon Hee once he knew about the affair - things would have gotten very interesting in MM!

 

On 8/21/2023 at 2:34 AM, Unclouded said:

Even when YH and him finally have his fight, it's about her choosing someone like DJY and ignoring her child's best interests. With HW is more about himself (what did I do wrong to deserve this). 

 

So true. Even if DH was reflecting on himself and how he contributed to their marriage breakdown, he didn't ever share that with YH, or apologize to her. Nor did he even tell her clearly he never wanted to move out of Hugye. Through his silence, he always left her guessing and assuming things. That would be tough to deal with.

 

~

 

Recently I've been watching the behind-the-scenes clips again of DH and JA scenes:

 

Dong Hoon and Ji An Making of Video 1 (onscreen title)

我的大叔 幕后花絮18 (the bilibili title)
https://www.bilibili.com/s/video/BV1ZL4y1z749

 

Dong Hoon and Ji An Making of Video 2
我的大叔 幕后花絮13 (bilibili title)
https://www.bilibili.com/s/video/BV1Kq4y1f7Ag

 

Dong Hoon and Ji An Making of Video 3

我的大叔 幕后花絮15 (bilibili title)
https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1rf4y1E7hE/?spm_id_from=333.788.recommend_more_video.10

 

Still so fun to see how they created certain scenes. And how many takes and angles it took.

[Unclouded]

On 8/26/2023 at 10:51 PM, sweetroad said:

I agree with you; it would have been great to have had more than 12 episodes, so we could see a truer resolution between Hyeon Woo and Soo Yeon, and how their family fared. The ending felt rushed and too simple after all that they had gone through.

 

Yeah, I feel like the ending had the right outcome but the process was wrong, it felt emotionally unsatisfying. There's so much tension built up during the show and I felt like it never fully left. I wish the writers would've let Soo Yeon express her feelings towards her husband more, whether it's frustration, sadness, love, or jealousy. It would've been nice to see her fight a bit for the relationship in a different way (after the scene you mentioned), rather than just slinking away and being avoidant as usual. For 95% of the show, when the focus is on making Hyeon Woo understand everything she had on her plate as a working mom, this approach is fine. But more openness or passion would've been nice when she wanted to salvage the relationship. Maybe she would feel selfish to want to stay with him, but if there's anyone who deserves to be a bit selfish, it's her. 

 

Maybe they could've cut some of the many scenes with the serially cheating lawyer to make space for this. Those were all just unwatchable for me. I also wanted to see the affair partner get treated more harshly, cause he did not have the justification that Soo Yeon had for his actions. The way his wife just excuses the infidelity felt really hard to believe, and kinda regressive, especially since he was the initiator. 

 

On 8/26/2023 at 10:51 PM, sweetroad said:

I really liked how HW confronted SY and her lover right away in the beginning of TWMWIHAA. If Dong Hoon had done that - if he had confronted both Do Joon Young and Yoon Hee once he knew about the affair - things would have gotten very interesting in MM!

 

Maybe he'd do that if he was more hopeful about his life, and their relationship. It's interesting when he's talking to JA about why he liked her resume about running, when he's explaining how when the people in his life that he thought would be pillars didn't provide any strength. In that scene when he thinks about his wife, he imagines her sighing and looking disappointed and frustrated with him. It's not the infidelity. He hired JA before he knew about that anyway, so his subconsious feeling of having nothing, that his marriage had toppled, must've been there for a long time. 

 

On 8/26/2023 at 10:51 PM, sweetroad said:

Even if DH was reflecting on himself and how he contributed to their marriage breakdown, he didn't ever share that with YH, or apologize to her. Nor did he even tell her clearly he never wanted to move out of Hugye. Through his silence, he always left her guessing and assuming things. That would be tough to deal with.

 

I didn't think about this way, but this is such a good point. It's so typical of guys to not communicate like this, to assume the other person already knows. And even when he apologises, it's not for the things that YH actually wants an apology for. It's like a courtesy apology rather than something deeply felt, actually understanding and feeling guilty for his mistakes. I think one of the only times in the earlier episodes where DH is truly honest about his feelings with YH is when he tells her not to talk to DJY. Otherwise he's almost completely closed off to her. 

[sweetroad]

On 8/28/2023 at 2:25 PM, Unclouded said:

Maybe they could've cut some of the many scenes with the serially cheating lawyer to make space for this. Those were all just unwatchable for me.

 

Totally agree. They became quite campy and overacted. She's a hilarious actress, though. I just saw her in Dinner Mate and she was like an alpha female.

 

On 8/28/2023 at 2:25 PM, Unclouded said:

He hired JA before he knew about that anyway, so his subconsious feeling of having nothing, that his marriage had toppled, must've been there for a long time. 

 

Great point. I noticed in episode 1 that he wasn't even all that surprised that Yoon Hee would miss their niece's wedding. They hardly talked that evening, either, when she got back from her time with DJY and DH got back from the wedding.

 

So when he found out about the affair, he told DJY not to tell YH, in order to keep the status quo. And the status quo was already unstable even before he found out about the affair! You're right that he wasn't all that hopeful about their relationship.

 

On 8/28/2023 at 2:25 PM, Unclouded said:

I think one of the only times in the earlier episodes where DH is truly honest about his feelings with YH is when he tells her not to talk to DJY. Otherwise he's almost completely closed off to her. 

 

So true. Don't know if you saw the comments on the Man v Drama YouTube series, but John Payne wrote about how DH and YH were always closing doors on each other inside the apartment. If either of them went into the room, the door got shut. He likened it to them both being in a prison inside their home. So sad!

 

I started re-watching MM the other night, starting from Episode 5. I had to chuckle last night while watching Episode 6 - DH is a downright chatterbox when he's with JA, and in Ep 5 and 6 she's just giving him short answers. The whole dynamic is kinda cute.

 

[Raymond]

On 9/1/2023 at 6:43 AM, sweetroad said:

 

I started re-watching MM the other night, starting from Episode 5. I had to chuckle last night while watching Episode 6 - DH is a downright chatterbox when he's with JA, and in Ep 5 and 6 she's just giving him short answers. The whole dynamic is kinda cute.

 

Revisiting all those posts on the Fangirlverdict epi 15 16 forum, still very very interesting and time to watch this unique love story my 4th time. Seems hard to convince those odd ones who don't like MM (or JA) to rewatch it to change their mind! But if the TU-C article was available by then they might understand how DH and JA could tie up. You recall one asked why DH like JA, besides they are so compatible, the key point would be the certainty that both are faithful to each other, and all for each other 

So far no drama, even though many are entertaining, I watched after MM left me any lasting impression like MM.

[Unclouded]

On 8/31/2023 at 4:43 PM, sweetroad said:

Totally agree. They became quite campy and overacted. She's a hilarious actress, though. I just saw her in Dinner Mate and she was like an alpha female.

 

Yeah, and I felt like the most important part was less the cheating and more everyone knowing about it and not doing anything. Especially since nobody seems to care when he ends up getting dumped and struggling. I feel like there was a missed opportunity here, since figuring out what to do when people in your social circle are cheating on their partners is a relatively common problem that people have. 

 

How did Dinner Mate end up being? 

 

On 8/31/2023 at 4:43 PM, sweetroad said:

I noticed in episode 1 that he wasn't even all that surprised that Yoon Hee would miss their niece's wedding. They hardly talked that evening, either, when she got back from her time with DJY and DH got back from the wedding.

 

On 8/31/2023 at 4:43 PM, sweetroad said:

I had to chuckle last night while watching Episode 6 - DH is a downright chatterbox when he's with JA, and in Ep 5 and 6 she's just giving him short answers. The whole dynamic is kinda cute.

 

DH was disappointed in YH for missing the wedding, she knows he's disappointed, but he doesn't confront her. Even when they have their one big fight, when DH gets angry at her for cheating on him, he doesn't bring up anything else wrong with the marriage. It's YH who talks about the problems that she had, the moments that bothered her. 

 

But DH complains to JA about the things she does that bother him, he casually argues with her or pushes back on things she says in a way he doesn't with his wife. He tells her off for slapping her co-worker, he tells her he feels humiliated to know people are speaking badly of him behind his back, he gets defensive when she says the people who bought her food weren't nice people, etc. And all that's healthy, he's alive when he's with JA, he's listening and reacting to what she's saying, rather than the zombie he is around his wife. Their conversations feel 'complete' in a way that doesn't even happen when talking at the bar to his younger brother or to Jung Hee. 

 

It's just nice to see him just talking to JA, to see him putting effort and bonding with her. 

 

--

 

Thinking about this a bit more, I think it's the unwillingness to argue, the weird nonchalance about really important things that makes Soo Yeon's side of the relationship seem shaky. It feels like she's as checked out and hopeless as DH is. There were times when I thought she expressed more love/affection for her affair partner than her actual husband. 

Edited September 3, 2023 by Unclouded

[Raymond]

On 9/3/2023 at 7:47 AM, Unclouded said:

 

It's just nice to see him just talking to JA, to see him putting effort and bonding with her. 

Indeed once the ladybug (love bug?) brought DH physically next to JA in the very beginning, he started bonding with her, glancing at her from a distance, and making conversation with her in the coffee area etc. Nothing unusual for a normal character man, but most unusual for his super conservative, quiet character.

I missed the OST, it is a heavy song, seems to play every time JA appeared on screen, or when DH and JA parting. Their relationship is heavy all the way till near the end. It is a heavy drama between 2 lonely souls, emotionally.

MM can be considered open or closed ending, all depending on one's expectation. But for the 2 main leads, it is a happy ending for sure.