Ask The Fellas

[Guest xFloOwuffBB]

xphant0mwing said: xFloOwuffBB said: Simple question: Is a guy serious when he tells you he'd wait for you and imagines a future with you, or is it just foul play?

[Guest xphant0mwing]

xyoungwoongx said: So, please someone tell me what the heck is going on with my boyfriend. or what he is thinking... if he thinks at all. We've been together for 7ish months now. big age difference, he just turned 30 and i'm 21. He's an artist too so he's .... different lol. but anyways in a nutshell, He's just so inconsiderate of my feelings. I gave him a talk about how sometimes I feel like he's just keeping me around for company, rather than me being his gf because I don't feel like he likes me soemtimes. I straight up told him I'm not looking for something casual, and he reassured me it was not. After that talk, I was hoping things would get better.... but sigh.. I don't know.... For example, weekends we usually spend together. But this weekend, I didn't see him friday even though he had the whole day off. and on saturday, he still didnt contact me till the very end of the night when all our friends were going out. So, I just let it brush off, and thought "hey, i'll just spend tonight and Sunday together". But as we are walking into the bar, he tells not me, but his friend that he is going to the Redskins game with this friend that's a girl. I'm extremely unhappy because I didn't see him at all this weekend,, and I was hoping sunday we would hang out but nooope. and he didn't even tell me about going to that football game . But I decided to just keep it inside b/c we were all out having fun. And then at the next bar, while I was gone, some old woman caresses my bfs face saying how cute he was while I was at the bathroom. and he's just standing there smiling like an idiot. So, I get extremely pissed and basically threw a big fit. Yeah, I realize I went overboard with it. I think I used this as an excuse to get extremely mad at him because it was such an obvious reason to get mad. So next day, I wake up and we are both extremely awkward with each other. He breaks the ice by asking what I'm going to do today. I just say "hey look, i'm sorry for going overboard..." and he says its fine. But immediately says he's going to do artwork now. So I said "you want me to leave?" ... he;s like yeah. Of course I'm upset, so I just bluntly ask "what's wrong is something bothering you..." he says no at first, then later says "I'm just pissed cause i couldn't go to the redskins game, I had to text my friend and tell her that my gf is throwing a richard simmons fit" ..... So i pack my stuff... about to leave, ask him one more time what's wrong. He says nothing and that he will talk to me later.. I say let's talk now.. are you ok. he keeps saying he's ok. sljkefjaefeafjaelkfjal i donno.. sorry, maybe I just wanted to rant here... I don't know what he's thinking, this is just a slight example of our relationship.... like i'm so lost... I'm so unhappy.... but I love him .... so I can't find myself to break up with him..... why is he like this!!!!!!

[Guest xphant0mwing]

xFloOwuffBB

said:

xphant0mwing

said:

xFloOwuffBB

said: Simple question: Is a guy serious when he tells you he'd wait for you and imagines a future with you, or is it just foul play?

[Guest Liandon]

Hey guys! I have a question:
I just met a guy, maybe less than three weeks ago. The first day we met, he asked me if I wanted to eat dinner with him. 
We sat there and talked for a good hour, not really eating.He asked me if I wanted to be walked home and he did. At the door he asked me for my number and then went on his way.2nd time two days later, I asked him to dinner. We went to the cafeteria and 'had dinner', just dicking around and talking.
3rd time, the next day, I met him at that same cafe by chance, and he told me he was just going to leave. He ended up sitting with me for an hour and half, ditching his study plans.
Then, two days after, he asks me if I have plans and if I'd like to study with him. I agree, and we meet. We end up studying and hanging from 2-4pm. We went out to dinner for a few hours because I told him I was hungry, and we had 'deep' talk.
A few days from that, he surprisingly waits for me alone outside of a class when he was sitting in on it with his best friend, and then proceeds to try and help me with something incredibly important when I never asked him to.
Fast forward to today which is around a week, and he asks me after a class if I'm hungry and want to go eat off campus with him. We're gone for hours.


I DON'T GET THIS GUY!. Usual guys with interest will look me in the eye - he doesn't. He'll glance and meet my eyes sometimes. It's almost like he avoids my eyes.
He doesn't touch me at all too. I'll touch his shoulder, put my leg next to his, hug him sometimes, walk close to him - he doesn't do anything back.
I just find this odd, because we connect so well, and the talk flows so easily, yet he never does those things! He doesnt seem that shy. He'll act 'weird' and funny and richard simmons around me (which I like - this is his normal!) and yet, with everyone else (my roomie, the waiters, other chicks, guys, etc) he has this charm mode on and It makes me feel like he thinks of me as a bro. But then, what kind of bro do you hang out with so much for hours at a time, when you've just met her? 

What's your take on this, fellas?

[Guest xphant0mwing]

@Liandon Hahahaha oh man this sorta sounds like my situation.. except.. im the guy |: LOL honestly, just because he doesnt touch you and doesnt give you eye contact doesnt mean he's not interested. and Just cause he doesnt seem that shy of a guy, doesnt mean he isnt. For example, i dont come off as a shy guy when you first meet me.. but man when it comes to a girl im interested in.. im pretty dam shy.. but anyhow back to your situation.. I would say he's getting to know you alot by these outings.. so i would say he is interested.. otherwise he wouldnt keep asking you to go out.. give it time! relax you guys got the rest of the year together.. but at the same time dont rush things!

[Guest anoopalex]

Love and Immaterial Doubtsmindmattersindia.com
You are in a relationship, one you really want to take forward. Yet you worry, question yourself, and fuss about various possibilities of which none can be sure bout. Is she/he the one for me? What will I tell my parents? How can I be sure I will be happy with her/him in the future?.... (Continue reading at-  http://mindmattersindia.com/love-and-immaterial-doubts/)

[Guest showoff]

@Liandon

Most men won't spend a lot of their free time with a female unless they're romantically interested.  How they express that interest will depend on the man.  Some go for the direct approach, others are slower to show their affection in unamiguous ways.  If I had to bet money, I'd wager that he's definitely romantically interested in you.  I realize that women have been socially groomed to not do this, but you may want to take the initiative and let him know you're interested in him as more than a friend; that may be the thing that will "bring him out of his shell".

[Guest kimmayyyy]

I've gotten females' perspectives, but now I'm ready for guys' perspectives. 
My boyfriend of 9 months and I met end of Oct. 2011. We dated casually until New Years Eve when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Before me, my boyfriend had dated a girl for about a year. From what I know of her, we're almost complete opposites. I'm an extremely laid back person and really hard to upset. She is blunt who got upset at the smallest things and always wanted to pick a fight with my boyfriend. Since we've been together my boyfriend has said things like "wow I didn't know relationships could be this easy" or "wow it's amazing we can go without arguing every week." I've always interpreted this to mean that he's glad he's no longer with his ex. 
His ex and him still talk once in a while. They talk on Facebook and they text also (he doesn't hide this from me). Usually I'm pretty sure it's about school, her dating life, or family, so it never bothered me that they still talk. 
So...yesterday. Sigh, my boyfriend left his old phone at home (he just got a new iPhone and I looked at his texts). I was just....curious? I know, shame on me. I regret it. But back in December, when we were casually dating, he was texting his ex very frequently. He was telling her how much he missed her, how going into a new relationship was going to be hard when he wasn't over her, how he couldn't believe she didn't think they'd be married in 15 years (in a joking way), that he wished she could be there, that he still thinks she's "drop-dead gorgeous" etc. Basically, he wasn't over her. 
WE met end of October and he's still telling her this in mid-December? Only a week or two before he said he wanted to be serious with me? Should I be bothered by this? 
Fast forward to June, when he's moved into a new apartment and I've started staying over basically every night. She tells him how they never keep in touch anymore. He tells her that he's in school a lot and that I'm staying over all the time (and not that he cares and wants it to change) so he doesn't have much opportunity to talk. 
I've always thought we had a great relationship. He treats me really well and I have very little to complain. But it worries me that he really wasnt over his ex when we were a couple months into dating. It worries me that he had that much strong of feelings for her. I wonder if he still cares for her and would go back to her if he could. I'm also a little hurt. I thought he had really liked me when we first started dating.
I don't know...do I have reason to be worried? I know they definitely don't text as much as they used to...but I don't know how much they talk over Facebook...and I guess also he could've just slowly lost feelings for her...but it still bothers me...

[Guest]

@kimmayyyy u said yourself that he was doing this a couple weeks before you guys got serious right? when u take into perspective the fact that many people casually date in order to get over an ex, it is a common and unfortunatly normal thing. u dont have a reason to be angry unless he stated serious intention of being with you and then after that did the texting. 
it is probbable that he was dating u to get over her but couldn't, and after a while of dating realized he was really into you and then stated his intention of being steady with you after realizing his feelings.
you should talk to him about it, u been going out for long enough to be able to talk about this kind of stuff. make sure u let him know you arent mad, but you are concerned that u may loose him, do not attack him, but make him feel like the one who is making you the victim. human nature says he will be more likely to empithize with your feelings if he has no reason to be defensive.
@liandon when me and my buddies used to pick up girls for fun, it was a general rule that if we ever met a girl we really liked, we wouldn't play the game, and just be ourselves, because if you put on the charm, u get ANY girl you want for like 2 weeks - 2 months, then after that you get tired of putting on the charm and become "yourself" and she sees that and it is kind of like false advertizing. eventually u guys wont be happy with eachother.
if he is not putting the moves on you, yet spending lots of time with you, and he is an experienced pick up artist, it is a good sign that he is interested in steping out of the game for you. which is a pretty big deal.

[Guest pooface]

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[Guest MiracleShotS]

I'm on the fence about what to do. I've liked this boy for a few months now and we've been on dates and a few of our friends know that there's something going on between us (despite us trying to keep it on the down-low). But I don't know if he's into me or only sees me as a friend. Naturally he's quiet and shy so maybe that has to do something with the way he's acting? 
He's giving me very mixed signals; he turns our coffee date into an Italian dinner/walk on the beach but at the same time we can go weeks without talking to each other if I don't call/text him. 
Lately I feel like he's lost interest in me but then he did something cute (like buying me a present randomly) to make me think otherwise. I don't know what to do. I was going to talk to him about what our relationship is heading towards but then this week happened and I don't know if I should even bring it up anymore. I really like him but maybe it's better for me if I should move on? Should I put myself out there and just tell him and risk being made a fool if he doesn't feel the same way?   

[MBV]

@pooface

A lot of it will have to do with the context and the manner he is saying it in. It might be good to get a second or third opinion from a friend. Just hang out in a group and if he acts in the same manner, see what your friends think. Make sure you approach your friends in an objective manner, otherwise they are likely to just side with you. This will at least give you an idea of what and who needs resolving.

In regards to him just responding with nothing much... he probably just doesn't feel like talking. I do say that all the time if I don't feel like talking or if nothing really did happen out of the ordinary. If he does that for every single conversational piece, then that's something to worry about and should be discussed.

@MiracleShotS

Well don't worry about being made a fool, because it's okay and actually very courageous to ask someone out. The only thing you have to sort of worry about is making the friendship or potential friendship awkward, but even then stuff like that usually passes over and the friendships stick. I say go for it. Sometimes guys are oblivious or coy, so girls have to take the lead.

[Guest xFloOwuffBB]

What do guys think of girls that don't wear make-up?
I mean I don't wear make-up.. but I heard that guys think it's nice if girls put a little on so it's like they're not sloppy?

[Guest xphant0mwing]

@xFloOwuffBB i personally loveee it when girls dont wear make up, i dont mind them wearing it, but i really love it when they dont. Its like a +10 for me but thats just me S: and on top of that.. if im attracted to you when you arent wearing make up, once you doll yourself up you'll look 100x more stunning.. thats what i think of it.. make up for occasions make it nice haha

[Guest kimmayyyy]

ajlee613 said: @kimmayyyy u said yourself that he was doing this a couple weeks before you guys got serious right? when u take into perspective the fact that many people casually date in order to get over an ex, it is a common and unfortunatly normal thing. u dont have a reason to be angry unless he stated serious intention of being with you and then after that did the texting. 
it is probbable that he was dating u to get over her but couldn't, and after a while of dating realized he was really into you and then stated his intention of being steady with you after realizing his feelings.
you should talk to him about it, u been going out for long enough to be able to talk about this kind of stuff. make sure u let him know you arent mad, but you are concerned that u may loose him, do not attack him, but make him feel like the one who is making you the victim. human nature says he will be more likely to empithize with your feelings if he has no reason to be defensive.

[Guest Liandon]

@xphant0mwing, @ showoff, @ajlee613
Thank you for the advice and such, guys!
I really do appreciate it. Things have been...progressing
Yeah, I think it's just that he's shy or something. From when I've posted, we've gone out more, and I am not really doubting the idea that he could like me back

[Guest chloe_addict]

Question: is this "normal" behavior for a guy friend? 
Today, I was telling my guy friend that I never see him anymore even though we just live down the street from each other. He's pretty outgoing so there are always a bunch of people over at his place where they study together. But I never join in since I'm more introverted and prefer to hang out 1 on 1 since we talk more about meaningful things. So today, he told me and then texted me again: "Hey, whenever you want to hang out with me 1 on 1, just let me know. And I'll seriously just tell everyone (else) to leave." It was nice (and odd) that he offered but I know I would never take up on that offer because that would be a bit selfish of me to dictate who he can hang out with. 

[Guest naturalstupidity1]

Question: Does initiating a chat twice with a guy on Facebook  give the guy an impression that I like him? 
I actually don't want to give off that impression because although I do kind of like him, I don't want him to know that if he has no interest in me. We've only seen each other twice in person and he has been pretty conversational and friendly to the point where he would wrap him arms around my shoulder. He doesn't seem like a playboy but perhaps he is just a esp. friendly/warm person? Idk how to interpret things because I rarely ever talk/interact with guys in real life and initiating FB chat w/ him was probably the most daring thing I've done. But now I'm kind of regretting it, since I don't want to scare him away by making him think that I like him because I actually do want to continue being friends with him just because he is one of the few guys I can talk to without having panic attack. He doesn't initiate FB chats so I think my attraction is not reciprocated. Should I stop chatting with him on FB and in the future, maintain my distance from him in order to preserve our friendship?
Thx!!!
-Also, any tips on figuring out whether guys like you would be much appreciated! I really want to finally date someone(desperate lol)!

[jeuns]

What's the difference between calling a girl cute, pretty, or hot?

[Guest xox_Hollistercutie_xox]

omg so basically i have been talking to this guy for about 2 months and 2 weeks ago i met up with him with my friend at his university since were both uni students  and started flirting with him and then he asked me to come back to visit him at his school but i was always busy. during the duration of those 2 months we just talked as friends then the flirting and the dirty talking came along. then as a joke i was like to him that i should come and cuddle him "makeout " and he agreed to but i was not feeling like going to his house so i told him he lives to far...so we left it as that now im regretting not going and it seems now that this guy is being distant with me and i dont know why? he talked to me yesturday and started telling me if he thought i thought sending winks sounded dirty and i said no its just a wink i asked if there was a problem and he said no it was just his opinion. and now he starting to call me "buddy" and "friend" all that flirting is gone. as well as he dusnt talk to me as much since h always used to reply to my bbm messages and now that has stopped. DOes anyone know why this is happening? also can anyone tell me how i can fix it? or even ask him again as in to go over to his place without sounding desperate? (because im not i just think that i might have lost a good guy since hes really sweet and caring and all) I would really appreciate it if someone could answer because this is really bothering me why this is happening thank u all soo much!! <3