Ask The Fellas

[Ninshark]

@jieun96 and @xFloOwuffBB

to me, cute-pretty-hot are 3 forms of the same thing- attractive, they are equally attractive, but the context is different is all there is...

I would ask my friends if they thought girl X was cute. I might want to go talk to girl X if I thought she was cute. If I ended up confessing, I'd tell her she's cute and/or pretty. If I compliment a girl, I'd call her pretty and not the other 2. If there is a girl who is incompatible by lifestyle/personality with me or is out-of-range, then I'd label her as hot. My friends would discuss the hotness of girls we just couldn't have/get and make excuses why so. cuteness has nothing to do with youthfulness.

oh and @ady01 please do not have others ask for you... you may not get rejected, but he'll think you're weird, maybe kinda dumb, and not worth it. maybe you should wait longer- just 'cause he's not over his ex yet. when the time is right, go confess, yourself though- not through wingwomen.

[Guest joongielove]

theres this guy I've known for a bit. I'm starting to like him, more than I want to admit haha. 
should I tell him? 

[Guest loveslick]

Hi guys. .I'm in a bit of a situation right now so this maybe a long story.I met this guy at college a couple weeks ago and I heard that he had interest in me, but I didn't really think much about it because he was a senior and I rarely see him outside of the club because of our different schedules.He asked me out to the movies three weeks ago and we had a great time. After the movies, we began hanging out more and he started accompanying me to the gym. Overall, we were becoming great friends and then he confessed that he really liked me this week and asked if I had the same feelings.I told him that I liked him too and we agreed to date. I told him that this would be my first real relationship and he said that he understood and would take things slow.Anyways, yesterday we went out on a date again and all of the sudden he leaned in for a kiss. I freaked out because I thought that things were moving way too fast for my point of view (he knows that I didn't have my first kiss yet) and refused. He looked a bit disappointed, but told me that he didn't think he was moving too fast in his point of view.
Do guys really move this fast in college? Maybe I'm still old fashioned, but I always thought the first kiss was supposed to be memorable. After he tried to kiss me, the date got kind of awkward, so I'm wondering if he was mad or disappointed that I didn't kiss him back. I mean, if he really liked me, he wouldn't mind waiting till I was ready right? 
I told him how I made the mistake of moving too fast with a guy this summer and he said that he understood, but it seems like the same thing is happening all over again.

[Guest fairytaledreamer]

I am in the dilemma where I am doubting my conscious. Please help.

This guy and I have been talking on/off for a month. During the whole month we had a few serious conversationS and decided to date exclusive. Thing were going great the first few dates, where he would not mind to drive down to my area just to hangout with me. However just recently we have not hangout nor talk much. Whenver we talked, he would say that his phone is dying. It happens most of the time. I am not sure if it because he does not want to talk to me or what. He is always seems busy with either work or hangout with his friends. Regardless of whom suggested to hangout, he seems to not wanting to drive to my area anymore. A few days ago, he told me that it's always him that makes the effort and not me. Okay fine! I would visit if he is not always busy hanging out with his friends.

I am confused. I cannot tell anymore, whether he is still interested in me or had find someone else. I mean he kept me update with what he is doing for the past few days ...

is he catching two fishes or just wants me to make an effort of coming down to visit him at least once.

I am thinking of not making myself available to his liking for a few days .. I asked my friend and she said that it is not a good idea bc he might think that I am no longer interested and move on. That is fine with me too! lol but that's not what I am striving for.

[Guest Cor Leonis]

TheEmptyBunny said: So I broke up with my ex over a year ago but we still kept in touch. We both decided to remain friends even though right after the break up he stopped talking to me for a few months. Then last december he started seeing a girl but he continued wanting to always see me and talk to me. I even said it was wrong since he was seeing someone else but he got all mad and said that he always wants me to stay a part of his life. Whenever we would hang out he always brings up the past between us and he'll say things like how he messed up so bad and he wishes he could have done so many things differently. Throughout the year of not being in a relationship with him but still talking to him, I gained my feelings back for him. I told him about it and I suggested that we stop talking because I didn't want to home wreck or anything. He again said I was being immature and that he and I should still talk. He always text me first and calls me first, and wants to hang out all the time. He still gets jealous when I'm with other guys and if I don't make time for him, he gets all mad. I don't understand, if he feels all that and wants us to remain so close, why doesn't he break up with his current girlfriend because he knows I would take him back? Or is he just keeping on a shelf just in case things go wrong with his girlfriend? I don't know why he's doing all this, so a guys perspective would be really helpful. 

[Guest minilight1080]

I'm trying to be friends with this guy because he's in my church. Every time I sit in his car and tries to talk to him, he only answers my question with one word. Even if our friend was in his car too; he doesn't talk at all. However, when I'm not in his car, he talks a lot with our friend about school etc even when he's driving. I'm just curious does he not like me at all? However, when none of us is in his car, he talks to me, sometimes tries to mess with me when we hang out together in a group. I don't understand his motives. 
Do guys get intimated by a girl? Is there certain signal? 

[Ninshark]

@joongielove

ok sure, good luck.
oh, but if you do, then don't complain if you're rejected, since it is 1 of 2 possibilities.

@loveslick

a relationship like all other things with multiple components like chemical reactions is rate-limited by the slowest step. so it moves only optimally as fast as that slow step. in this case that's you. not saying you're slow, just not as fast as him, but the relationship will only move as fast as you- by that I mean both people. so he'll have to compromise. you're not dragging it down or anything either, you guys just have to work together, and whether he's disappointed or not, he better care about your inhibitions- of which case is completely fine. I myself am a virgin to many things, alcohol, kisses, etc. and so at least I think the first should be memorable. when the date got awkward- that was his fault not being able to handle rejection. and to actually answer your question, yes, guys move fast, like sex after a month, but relationships don't work out unless both people agree- so again, he'll have to compromise.

@fairytaledreamer

mmm sounds like he's lazy, people are lazy when they don't care, people don't care when they are not interested. it's like me and reading- so I always procrastinate. and the 2 fish is possible because he's keeping you as a safety net. maybe you should stop talking to him yourself then, and break it up when he comes back to talk to you.

@minilight1080

he's just weird- I'm confused too.

[Guest minilight1080]

Every time I sit in his car, he said it's boring. .. I'm trying to communicate with you but all he does is answer with one word and doesn't keep the convo going so how am I suppose to talk to you if u don't elaborate. Our other friend was also sitting in the car, if you have so much richard simmons to talk about with him, you still can talk even if i was in the car. I don't mind if he ignores me when he talks to our other friend but he doesn't...

I just don't get it. He acts differently towards me esp in his car and not his car and also with other girls. Maybe I should just not talk to him at all if he's acting like this...Is it a good idea to confront him?

Is it normal for a guy to respond only with one word? I'm not talking about emails, facebook, msn etc. I'm talking bout face to face.

[Guest chloe_addict]

Question for you guys:

If a close guy friend tells me that he's sometimes worried about his relationship with his gf, what does that mean? (Besides me trying to encourage him not to worry...) Especially since he doesn't tell anyone except me. Does that mean that he only sees me as a friend and not something "more"? I'm just wondering because he will mention this whenever we hang out, just the 2 of us. And sometimes it's hard for me to encourage him because deep down, I'm starting to have feelings for him...

[Guest avashuck]

Ok hi guy I have a question

I like this guy and its obvious that he like me back I mean we text almost everyday  and were close friend. the problem is my best friend told me the guy wants to ask me out  but whenever we talk he never brings it up and wy is it taking him so long to ask me out even if its so obvious that he wants to its not like I'm going to say no

[treee]

chloe_addict: it could be his indirect way of admitting his feelings for you. even if it turns out to be true or not i strongly advise waiting til him and his gf breakup. i have a sore spot for anyone who thinks its okay to cheat. if at some point this issue is brought up, be clear about your feelings for him and thats it.  its up to him to break up with his gf should he decide to be honest with you about how he feels. then again ask yourself if any of this is worth it, since he is taken afterall.
how close are the both of you?
have they been together for a while?

avashuck: try and see it from his point of view, he could be afraid of rejection. nothing is stopping you from asking him out since youre so sure of where you stand. there isnt a rulebook that says he has to be the one to ask you out.

[Guest chloe_addict]

@treee: We're surprisingly close given the short amount of time that we've known each other (almost 3 months). Mostly because the stress of school and studying is something that gives us a common bond so we spend a lot of time with each other studying, hanging out, venting. Yesterday, he gave me a ride to school as usual. And afterwards, he'll always say: "hey, wanna grab coffee?" He usually never talks about his gf (of 1.5 years) unless I ask which I never care to ask. But yesterday, he mentioned how sometimes he's worried about his relationship with his gf and that he sometimes feels obligated to stay with her because she sees him as a fatherly figure, especially after her father passed away last year. And he told me all this without me asking or talking about relationships. We were just in the car, listening to music and talking about random things...

[Guest xox_Hollistercutie_xox]

okay there is this guy we have been talking for 4 mnths and just recently i started to like him and i dnt knw it seemed like he also liked me but im not to sure.... i visited him at his university 2 times we still never had an official meet up yet i keep on telling him to tell me but there is never time but he did ask me once but that time i was busy  but the first time i saw him he gave me like a friend hug "side one hand hug" and then after talking to him some more i visited him again i was suppose to visit another guy but that new guy bailed on me so i started complaining to him abt the guy that ditched so i was going to wait for my other friend so the guy was soo cute and he was like how he dusnt want to leave me alone so he waited for me and when he hugged me this time it was differnet he liked pulled me towards him and he hugged me really tightly and for a long time. and had a post saying it was nice seeing me again we always talk he always comments on stuff i post and have convos on it , we flirt we dirty talk and all and he always rmrs what i say but i dont understand why he wudnt ask me out? he rated me an 8/10 and said i have an awesome personality and all and now all of a sudden he stopped talking  to me since he was the one that always started and then i did and he just cut me off and now he started to stop talking to me completely. i dont know why he stopped? i also dont know if i shud ask him whats up? i also wanna know why he hadnt asked me out yet?

[Shuga]

-edited for privacy reasons-

[candymoon]

Please Advise.
I've been with my current bf for 6 months now and each time we eat out, mostly just lunch ~ he insists on paying. He mention he believe that the guy should pay when he with the girl.  Each time, when the bill comes, I grab my bag to reach for my wallet and asked how much the bill is and offer to pay but he said no.  After few time of the same situation, it makes me not want to go eat out much because I feel bad.  Sometime, before I get to reach for my wallet and asked how much the bill was, he took his credit card out and paid already. Just wondering from a guy/bf POV, even though he saying "guys should pay" ... but deep down, what are you thinking? Also, now that we are exclusive together, do you also want the gf to pay or take turn paying? And lastly, how should I or what is the best way to offer?!  
Thanks much!

[Guest s3nsational]

^ I would like to know too! My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year and a half and he still insists on paying and I feel bad everytime he does that.. >.<

[Guest]

Guys very well may be OK with paying, and content maybe enjoy it a little, but guys are surprised and very greatful when a girl insists on taking care of him from time to time it shows consideration.
it also depends on how much money he has, if a guy is filthy rich, buying a lunch is not a big deal, but once you start messing with his stocks or something he might change totally and beat you.
I am fine paying for my girl if she appriciates it and shows gratitude and affection, its kind of like, if a girl makes me food and cleans up the room and does laundry, i SHOULD pay for her dinner, her movie, and drive us around. that is just FAIR. but if a girl is a couch potato and takes and takes but gives nothing back, she is a gold digger and eventually any man will resent her greatly once he gets used to her sex appeal and gets over it.
A girl who is willing to pay, and genuinely feels bad about not paying DESERVES to get paid for. its kind of ironic, that is just how i think, if i were either of ur bfs, if i read this, i would feel very happy and buy you something. however your BF is not here to read this, so it is best to show it, maybe u cant pay for the meal, but maybe u can buy hot pot stuff and prepare hot pot for him. guys are smart, we'll know u spend money to buy all those nice meats and vegitables and mushrooms.

[Guest unicornpoop]

Hi guys! (: 
What would be your reason for liking a girl (who you know likes you back) but thinking that it would "never work out" between the two of you? Could it potentially be because you think that your personalities are too different? 

[odaesan]

Personalities and goals were an issue for me. There was someone who liked me and I liked her, but we were too different. She actually didn't have any life goals so she just worked hard in school, but I already had some things that I wanted to pursue at that point. She also liked to have many acquaintances while I keep a few close friends. She was more of an extrovert and I am an introvert, so it really didn't look like it would work.

As more time passed, it became more clear that it wouldn't work.

[Guest rainbow.elephants]

HI Guys

If a guy says he can't let you go but he isn't cut out for a relationship at the moment does it mean that he doesn't like me enough ?
Even though we said to be friends he gets cut when I hang out with guy friends..

Thanks in advanced