Ask The Fellas

[jaykidding]

Ok so, I met this guy at a friend's BBQ and he gave me his number and added me on fb.  I texted him so he would get my number and every time he texts back, it's always like at least 4 hours after I text him back.  And it's not like I wait a few hours before texting him back.  Do guys do this to just play around?  Should I start waiting longer before texting him back?

[Guest danielletaylor]

Why is that every time a guy walks past a girl they deem "hot" they end up walking as if they have a broken ankle or a wedgie? 

[Guest Kyosukemox]

jenniferchung said: Is it normal for boyfriend to check out ex's facebook on a daily basis?Are guys very cautious with their possessions, phone, computer, and other devices?

[Guest Kyosukemox]

I don't trust him in the least bit. And I don't think it's negligence cuz he took pics of me before that he deleted and he deletes photos and this has been around for moth than a month. Oh, well. :T If it ever comes up where he lets me look through his photos like before I'll point it out.don't think it's ever going to happen because he knows those photos are in there, but I'm always going to be insecure and suspicious of this.

[Guest Kyosukemox]

Tofu_Cloud said:

MEN!

 

Pink VS red. In Clothing, in lip color. Which one do you prefer?

Also do man actually like red nail polish? Or is it something girls just seem to wear to impress other girls?

[Guest jenniferchung]

Kyosukemox said: jenniferchung said: Is it normal for boyfriend to check out ex's facebook on a daily basis?Are guys very cautious with their possessions, phone, computer, and other devices?

[Guest yunath]

Kyosukemox said: I don't trust him in the least bit. And I don't think it's negligence cuz he took pics of me before that he deleted and he deletes photos and this has been around for moth than a month. Oh, well. :T If it ever comes up where he lets me look through his photos like before I'll point it out.don't think it's ever going to happen because he knows those photos are in there, but I'm always going to be insecure and suspicious of this.

[Guest joongielove]

deletedddd

[Guest xyoungwoongx]

*posted this in the 20+ forum... nobody was saying anything in that section hahahha*
Hello, so i posted here last time. And here I go again... some background info., He's 29 and I'm 21. I'm Korean (very Americanized) but for some reason I have only gone out with fobs (haha) and he's white. So I don't know if this is a cultural difference thing.. or I'm just too immature/clingy/needy.. haha but here it goes:

Well, we have been dating for about 6 months now. He's great, and I like him a lot! But I just feel like something is not there sometimes.. Like I feel like I know him, yet I feel distant from him sometimes...
In the beginning things were great, I had the key to his apartment and we saw each other a lot during the week! But slowly things started changing..?  First, the amount we talk during the day have significantly dropped. Me and him are both not the type to talk all day long, but it definitely went from a few texts during the day and a call at night.. to just a call at night. He works from 10 am to 9 pm;  5 or sometimes 6 times a week (his companies ipad game is releasing soon so they're in crunch time at work) and I understand it is tiring! But, sometimes it bothers me because I'm not sure if his feelings for me are gone? or the honeymoon phase has just ended and he's pooped out from work
Also after he moved in with a room-mate, the amount of times we see each other have significantly dropped and we basically don't go on dates anymore, we just hang out at his place, and he's too tired to do anything at all (well... he admitted that he should go see a doctor because he realizes that he is abnormally tired)...
And sometimes I feel like he just keeps me out of the loop? Like if he's going out of town, he doesn't tell me till like a day or two before so it just takes me by surprise. (yeah this part might be a little selfish on my part but Idonno... I just would like to know as his gf you know?) and also, when he's out of town he basically never calls/texts. sigh... I mean I met his family and close friends when I went to his hometown for one of his good friend's wedding but that was just that one time.. in the beginning of our relationship...
Idonno... I have no idea where I stand right now... Honestly.. I'm not looking to get married right away, but I'm definitely not looking for a "casual" relationship.
one time.. I couldn't take it anymore, so I just straight up asked him if he still cares for me or not... (haha i know bad move) but he did say he still cares for me..... ahh i don't know

So today, his game was finally sent to Apple, and he is officially out of crunch now (he finally works normal hours now yay), so on the phone today I kinda brought up how the kid's are on summer break for the next two weeks (I'm a preschool teacher) and my classes don't start till two weeks later so I'm bored and have nothing to do for the two weeks, and the only thing he says to me is, "why don't you just go on a trip with your friends or something if you are so bored", after he said that I said my friends are too busy right now and told him that since he's out of crunch he has no excuse not to do anything anymore! but all he did was laugh and did not answer -.- that kinda threw me off cause I really have never complained to him about how we don't do anything anymore because I know he is tired from work/crunch, but even if it's just words.. I wanted him to say at least something about how we can DO something now.... == honestly, it made me really upset also because a few days ago he told me he's going to NY this weekend (his hometown).. he didn't even invite me
... but I donno if I was thinking a little bit too much into his words cause i'm pmsing hahah (sorry had to add that bit in lol)


I need advice.. or just someone's opinion.. Am I just being too clingy and over thinking things and I'm pmsing(lol), or is this just a "casual" relationship for him ... or ... I donno..

[Guest Kyosukemox]

@xyoungwoongx: I mentioned in one of my earlier post that women tend to make/believe things are more complicated than the actually are. For this situation, no one's answer on this thread to you will be "right"; but, I'll try my best to give you my assessment in a short and sweet manner.
The notion of being clingy differs from person to person, but as a general rule if you are calling constantly everyday numerous times or getting out of your way to try and me him everyday that's clingy lol.
The fact that he is too busy or too tired to even speak to his girlfriend due to work is not in my opinion a valid reason.. I work approx 70 hours a week if not more when there are special clients/projects and I am studying for law and I still found time to meet, date, call or text my gf ( now my ex-gf :/ ). I am not saying he no longer likes you but I think he's at the stage where he's comfortable. One a couple gets comfortable, its very common that one person starts to feel insecure (like yourself) and tends to get wandering thoughts. When someone reaches that level of comfort in a relationship it will lend to habits of laziness, procrastination and also taking your partner for granted.. It could be very frustrating for the one who is subject to this projection, but don't worry it is just another hurdle to overcome in order to strengthen your relationship! If he keeps putting off dates/get-togethers to another day, try firmly setting a date in the near future that you can both look forward to, this is one example that can help you. The point is that if you want to get out of this situation you will both need to put the effort towards doing so!
Relationships are never about one person, he should also put the effort towards helping clear your insecurities. Communication is very vital in a relationship and I find that a lot of problems stems from the fact that a lot of couples have a hard time expressing themselves or revealing all their insecurities. If you love/like the person than you should at least commit to trusting that person with your feelings and thoughts..
Anyways, I hope I helped and I wish you the best!

[Guest laylalove]

Hey fellas I hope someone can help me with this. I don't think of it as a big deal or anything to think of until recently. I'm getting older so that's probably one of the reason too. I think I have a bad habit of talkative and friendly to those guys who I don't feel any attraction for as in love relationship-not necessary that they are not attractive or whatsoever, just feel easier to talk to- really outgoing one. I have to say 9/10 times, they end up somehow liking me or my sister LOL.. I want to have friends who are different gender and not ONLY girls. I have seen many people who have close friends who are boys and they are perfectly fine and best friends. I have been thinking more about this, maybe that I am/ my sister is leading them on so that's why they end up liking us. I have read about girls who lead guys on... I don't want to keep making that kind of mistakes if I am. Somehow, I can never found the right answer / never have the nerve to confront so we just naturally drifted apart. What am I doing wrong? Thank you! P.S My sister and I are super similar, we don't look the same but we act the same like almost one person especially in term of treating people around us. 
Another case : How to know if a guy not necessary likes you but found you attractive or interesting and consider dating you or simple being nice and treating you as a good friend. I don't want to embarrass myself when he only thinks of me as friend.  I never even date and hate hang out with any guy one or one or too afraid to do it s I don't have any experience I don't live in US all my life so I am not sure of the american type of treating people for sure. They ARE a lot more friendly between guys+ girls than my old place. I have different thinking eventhough I moved him since pretty young.  I feel like they treat their good friends almost like girlfriend so I'm so clueless. I want to know pretty sure if a guy is just being nice or interested? 

Wow it is so long srrry thank ss 

[Guest Kyosukemox]

@laylalove: 9/10 times if the guy is hanging out with you whether you have a bf or not he is interested in you to a certain extent (or else he doesn't have a reason to have you around). I know it sounds bad and I am generalizing, but it's the truth more often than not. There are always exceptions, but don't get the idea that you'll come across them often! Honestly stick with your core friend group, the friends you've known for most of your life and honestly continue what your doing.. all girls and even some guys have to deals with girls/guys they might be leading on.. can't help it.

all else you can make internet friends that you may never meet ever! that can work as one of the exceptions (starting with me)!

[Guest laylalove]

@kyosukemox 
Okay Hehe thanks I guess I just do that ^^ 

[Guest Sizerly]

This probably sounds bad but, I have no idea how to flirt around guys I like at all. When I like someone, I tend to stay away or don't talk to them as much >_< I tried to be myself which is quite open, I talk about games and make sexual jokes a lot, which is fine around my guy friends but I'm begining to think that it might makes guys I'm interested in friendzoning me (because I don't act like a girl). 

So what is a good way to flirt or let a guy know that I'm interest without being too forward? (I hate being one of those girls who is all over a guy)

And should I be myself or try to be more like a normal girl? What kind of girls do guys deem as girlfriend material?

[Guest {minuhh]

If a guy asks if I want to go a school carnival and takes the time to find a ride for me there and back and then suggests that we hang out at the carnival does that mean he's interested? Or he's just being nice. He said he would introduce me to new people and stuff so i'll be a bit more social and he said this was a way to get to know new friends, it doesn't seem to come off that way but I don't know. I feel like he could have other intentions. I don't know the guy too well and just met him last weekend. I may be thinking too much but does this mean he's interested? I'm in no way interested, but by agreeing I don't want to give him the wrong idea, even if I do want to go to the carnival. 

[Guest Kyosukemox]

@Sizerly: Be yourself, you sound like a really down to earth gal with a cool attitude. It only a matter of time till someone you will like as well will see your charm! On another note, men and women are very visual when it comes to attraction; if anything a first impression or sign of interest 99% of the time starts with physical attraction. So dressing up nicely be it cute, pretty or classy will always do you good. Flirting can be considered an art to some or a means to just get into a girl's/guy's pants.. but in all honesty by just talking normally and casually to the person you like while leaving subtle cues and signs of interest (such as showing that you want to know more and more about the person or being very attentive) all contribute towards grabbing their attention and also help your case.

@{minuhh: Men won't go out of their way for a girl if he was not, to some degree, interested. He may be using this opportunity to get to know you better and confirm whether or not he is interested or if you can be a potential prospect of his. At the other side of the spectrum, he could genuinely just be friendly (highly unlikely) or want to introduce you to one of his buddies that might be interested (common occurrence). This is all speculation, but I can guarantee that for the majority of people this is the case. Go with your gut feeling, a women's intuition is a scary thing! They usually hit things on the nail, but always get blinded by their low confidence or their barrage of questions concerning their insecurities.

[Guest showoff]

minuhh, if you have zero interest in getting to know this guy (on any level), just decline his invitation, then goto the carnival anyway.  If he sees you there, he should be smart enough to realize you aren't into him at all, and if he talks to you at the carnival (like, "hey, you came?"), then just tell him you wanted to go solo.  You owe nothing to this guy at all.

[Guest meiming8_1]

Hi guys! 
There's this guy who is really interested in me. We met up a few times to get to know each other and he texted me a lot and I realised I wasn't interested. When he came back from holiday I saw him once, and have been texting him a lot less than I did before. I'll reply when he writes, mostly, but never initiate texts or meet ups. I thought he was getting the hint but I think now he's trying to pursue me more since I've been colder so it's not really working. All his friends know he's chasing me and he has a lot of pride, and I'm not great at rejecting people. Since he hasn't confessed to me directly, I feel like it'll hurt his feelings if I tell him directly that I'm not interested, but I don't want this to continue. Before we were getting to know each other but now it's gone on too long. Is there any way I can reject him gracefully without making him feel like he lost face? I want to remain friends with him and I do enjoy speaking to him which I realise now gave him mixed signals.
Short version: met this guy, got to know each other, realise I'm not interested. Tried to be colder but he's not getting the hint. How to reject him without making him feel embarrassed?

[Guest showoff]

How old are you two?  Just tell him "I'm not interested in you romantically".  You owe this guy nothing and he sounds stupid for expecting something based off some text messages and one meetup.

[ra123]

meiming8_1 said: Hi guys! 
There's this guy who is really interested in me. We met up a few times to get to know each other and he texted me a lot and I realised I wasn't interested. When he came back from holiday I saw him once, and have been texting him a lot less than I did before. I'll reply when he writes, mostly, but never initiate texts or meet ups. I thought he was getting the hint but I think now he's trying to pursue me more since I've been colder so it's not really working. All his friends know he's chasing me and he has a lot of pride, and I'm not great at rejecting people. Since he hasn't confessed to me directly, I feel like it'll hurt his feelings if I tell him directly that I'm not interested, but I don't want this to continue. Before we were getting to know each other but now it's gone on too long. Is there any way I can reject him gracefully without making him feel like he lost face? I want to remain friends with him and I do enjoy speaking to him which I realise now gave him mixed signals.
Short version: met this guy, got to know each other, realise I'm not interested. Tried to be colder but he's not getting the hint. How to reject him without making him feel embarrassed?