Ask The Fellas

[Guest _lala_yoyo]

Fellas, do you still keep in touch with your ex? if so, what is the reason? do you just wanna be friends? you want her back?

 

>> Im not friends with any of my exs, not even one lol not even one. I dont know why but after the breakup I find it hard to just be friends. I can't be just friends right after breakup whether it's a healthy breakup or unhealthy. Even when they tried to keep contact with me and such I find it hard to act as if everything is normal

[Guest SlicedBread]

Fellas, do you still keep in touch with your ex? if so, what is the reason? do you just wanna be friends? you want her back?

[Guest yukixoxo]

Hi guys, would you go on a holiday alone with your best friend who's a girl?

[Guest SlicedBread]

Hi guys, would you go on a holiday alone with your best friend who's a girl?

[Guest mindy1430275619]

I always think it's awkward after a breakup with a guy.... even if you are friends!

I have a question-
How do guys deal with a breakup? Do they hang out with their friends because guys always seem to be chill after a breakup while us females are like torn apart!

[mintcracker]

^ Depends on how long and serious the relationship is. But generally for guys, they take slower to PROPERLY and genuinely fall for somebody (as opposed to girls I think), but when they fall, they fall hard. Thus it's harder for them to handle break ups, though they like to keep it inside (kinda hard to go blubbery on their mates).

So for eg, if you dated a guy for 1.5 + years, the chances of them being fine afterwards is slim. They'd be feeling crap even if they're all partying hard and seemingly happy. Guys usually keep busy from what I see?

But if the relationship was like a few months, they wouldn't be too hung up I don't think.

[pink_chocolate]

How do I handle this agitating feeling? 
My boyfriend has a younger brother who just returned from Vietnam. The brother is known for breaking hearts and hanging out with a lot of girls. He broke one my friend's heart (who warned me about my boyfriend because of what his brother did to her). The boyfriend now pay less attentions to me because he now has his brother. 
Secondly, he hung out with a group of guys that I know too and they had and still cheat on their girlfriends. 
The boyfriend told me that he love only me and I need to trust him, but I'm always scare his brother and friends will influence him to stop being faithful to me (we're in a long distant relationship). How exactly am I supposed to get over that feeling and start trusting him? 

[Guest _lala_yoyo]

 

I meant to break up with my boyfriend in person however that night he irked me and I exploded via text message. I feel so lame lol so I want to meet up to break up in person but he seems to not wanting to see me.

should I let it go?

[Guest HERMIT]

How do I handle this agitating feeling? 

My boyfriend has a younger brother who just returned from Vietnam. The brother is known for breaking hearts and hanging out with a lot of girls. He broke one my friend's heart (who warned me about my boyfriend because of what his brother did to her). The boyfriend now pay less attentions to me because he now has his brother. 

Secondly, he hung out with a group of guys that I know too and they had and still cheat on their girlfriends. 

The boyfriend told me that he love only me and I need to trust him, but I'm always scare his brother and friends will influence him to stop being faithful to me (we're in a long distant relationship). How exactly am I supposed to get over that feeling and start trusting him? 

[Guest helloitsme93]

I recently broke up with my ex a couple of weeks ago. I asked for a short break to figure out my feelings because we have been having arguments ever since I came back home from college. About one week later we met up and he told me I was right about him changing and that the reason was probably because he grew more distant since I wasn't physically there. We both asked to be friends because our breakup was mutual and we didn't have drama either. He said that before that happens we should have time apart to get used to things and I agreed. I do want to stay friends with him because he is one of the best guys I've ever met but when do you think it would be okay to start contacting one another again? We also have a lot a similar circle of friends so we'd eventually bump into each other but I'm avoiding the hangouts. I have a lot of things I want to say kind of just to clear the air and I thought maybe a letter would be okay because it's still awkward to see each other. Should I wait until he contacts me? 

[Guest shooting_stars]

edit--

Thanks, SlicedBread!

I'm still slightly uncomfortable around him (even just seeing his pictures on FB make me oddly uncomfortable), so I don't know what to do about that...

[Guest Yuki]

-deleted-

[Guest vivdrkblm]

There is a guy who likes me. I'm worried that he will asking to be his gf in the near near future. I don't want to make things awkward and want to prevent him from even asking.Also, people are trying to set him up with me and asking me what kind of guys I like(a bit annoying). 
How do I get out this situation naturally? I basically want to straight up tell him that I don't have any plans to be anyone's girlfriend and would like to comfortably go to places with him without him thinking it's a date. And I don't want to abruptly end all texts and contact with him, but don't want to send signals that I care about him in that way.Even tho I do want a boyfriend, I know it's out of loneliness of living in a new location. It's not fair for both sides and I don't want to take advantage of him by saying yes and just end up breaking up with him because I never had true feelings...
What can I say or do that will show signs that guarantee that I will not say Yes if he were to ask me..thus, preventing him from asking in the first place. I'm going to go see a movie with him this week so this is my opportunity..shouldn't have said yes but it was before knowing that he liked me.  

[Guest showoff]

Uh, you could just tell him politely, but firmly, that you aren't looking for a relationship right now and you'd still like to hang out with him, but that it wouldn't lead to any romantic encounters/relations/etc.  Seriously, I don't understand women that just don't flatout tell guys "I enjoy your company and feel you enjoy mine, but I am not ready for a romantic relationship right now".  If the guy decides to cease all communication with you, so be it, but at least you put your honest feelings out there in a way he can't misinterpret.

[Guest vivdrkblm]

Uh, you could just tell him politely, but firmly, that you aren't looking for a relationship right now and you'd still like to hang out with him, but that it wouldn't lead to any romantic encounters/relations/etc.  Seriously, I don't understand women that just don't flatout tell guys "I enjoy your company and feel you enjoy mine, but I am not ready for a romantic relationship right now".  If the guy decides to cease all communication with you, so be it, but at least you put your honest feelings out there in a way he can't misinterpret.

[Guest showoff]

You have to understand that if this guy truly does harbor romantic feelings for you (this is all your assumption unless he has clearly told you "I like you more than a friend"; he may want nothing to do with you romantically) and you give him "hints", he may misinterpret those hints or try to unrealistically justify why you're paying for your own stuff (for example, some women want to show their independence to the male suitor, but she may still be interested in him romantically).  Politeness and socially acceptable cultural norms, sure, I get that, but I would have to imagine that in most civilized countries where woman and men have fairly equal rights, there's nothing wrong with the woman telling a male suitor "thanks, but no thanks".

[Guest akp124]

Okay, so that guy I was talking about a couple of weeks earlier, that I just decided was being nice to me...Well, he texted me a couple of days ago when I was feeling down. ( I tend to write when I'm sad on fb because its like an outlet for me. I don't expect people to feel sorry for me.) Anyways, I found out my ex started going out with someone else a couple of weeks ago and the guy (let's call him D) texts me and asks me whats wrong, if I wanted to talk to someone, etc. I told him that I was just being an overreacting girl and that he shouldn't worry about it, it was ex stuff and that I should already be getting over it. Anyways, he told me that he 'wanted to help me get over him and it.' So now, I don't know. We've been randomly texting each other stuff. Like how he's too old for his age and how I'm still not as mature as other girls my age (22). Hell, I cried a couple of days ago watching Home Alone. Anyways, yeah, I don't know what to think of it... Like, I know I shouldn't be overthinking it, but I can't help it. He texts me while he's working ( don't worry, only when he has nothing to do), and I text him during my COD playing. 
I have stopped thinking so much about my ex, but now its consumed by thoughts of D. Which is not healthy for me because I fall for the people that don't fall for me. And it just might end up in another heartbreak.

[Guest SlicedBread]

Do you guys think he may like me, too? Or am I just over thinking it? I have no interest in this guy whatsoever, so I do feel slightly awkward with him now...I don't know why it's bothering me so much if he does have feelings, but I guess it's because I don't want to lead him on, or worse, start giving him the cold shoulder (which is what I tend to do when I find out someone I don't have feelings for has feelings for me). Basically, I don't want to create an awkward situation at work…

[Guest xox_Hollistercutie_xox]

so i have been talking with this guy for a while like everyday he always been fb me and asking to hang out and then after this convo i am going to show u he just stopped so can someone tell me what he was trying to say or what it means?
him: oh damn it I really wanted to know ;P well I think I mightve askd you out if I didnt already have a date sooooo  depending on how this relationship goes, but I really want it to work out so it might really not happen.ol yes I am, but I'm sure a girl like you will find someone soon 

like did he actually mean he wud have went out with me or was he just being nice?

[Guest dearme]

Hello fellas, simple and easy question Let's say if you were to have eye contact with a girl a lot, especially every time you see her in the hallways, what's on your mind?! Do you guys find her attractive or just plain weird for having eye contact with her every time you see her.