[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[sweetroad]

12 hours ago, Unclouded said:

Maybe it's cheating to cite an interview, but there's one with IU and LSK on the givemeslippers site that says exactly that:

 

LSK: I just couldn’t get it. (laughs) Why do you like me? Hahaha!

IU: I just do (laughs). Just going along with the script, I felt there was absolutely no reason not to like him.  He’s such a compassionate, warm person. He’s not perfect, he has flaws, and he puts up with others to the extent that he’s lonely and suffers, and he’s able to see people for who they are without distortion. I found that really attractive.

 

 

Haha, not cheating at all!

 

It's funny to me that in both the story and in interviews, IU and JA are "allowed" to like PDH/ LSK, but LSK doesn't allow himself to ever give away that PDH loved JA romantically. He's cagey about it.

 

12 hours ago, Unclouded said:

Maybe the strongest argument for the hero worship side is that in some ways she is like a fan. She desperately wants him to be happy, is willing to go to extremes to help him, and doesn't have any expectation of being together (but is willing to try her luck). She protects and defends his reputation. She tracks everything that he does and deeply breaches his privacy.

 

Good point. In any other world this would be stanning and even stalking, but because she uses her invasion of privacy for DH's good, he doesn't feel violated after his initial shock at her betrayal.

 

12 hours ago, Unclouded said:

But can you really have 'hero worship' for someone once you know them as intimately as JA does DH? He's not an idol who only shows her his attractive side. Her feelings starts from empathy, hearing him confront the guy who bullies SH and his passion for his family. And he's not so distant from her that she has to see him from afar. They live in the same neighbourhood. He cares for her enough to fight a loan shark for her, and she hears him struggling the day after. He makes it clear they're emotionally at the same level when he tells her that their lives are the same. He makes it clear she's often on his mind by talking about her with his brothers and JH. There's nothing 'blind' or obviously one-sided (from her perspective) about her feelings at all. She doesn't lionize him or put him on a pedestal - she just thinks he's a good guy. 

 

You said it perfectly!

 

[Raymond]

On 7/20/2023 at 2:20 PM, Unclouded said:

He makes it clear she's often on his mind by talking about her with his brothers and JH. There's nothing 'blind' or obviously one-sided (from her perspective) about her feelings at all. She doesn't lionize him or put him on a pedestal - she just thinks he's a good guy. 

The TU-C article mentioned DH enjoyed keep thinking about JA (he is thinking out loud in front of his brothers and JH as they have no idea who he is talking about), and another sign that he entered into the TU-C zone.  It reminded when one start dating, one always enjoyed and feeling sweet thinking about the other one. Very real life drama indeed. And unbelievable details by the PD/writer.

JA's accidental help throwing away the bribe money is the 1st 'hero' act saving DA in his career. Then her discovery of his wife adultery is the 2nd 'hero' act saving DH from his marriage hell. JY said 'she took my money but instead helping you', and he said 'you came to save me'. So probably 'hero' worship from DH to JA as well (I definitely would if in DH's position). Everything equal between them, both white knight to each other even though starting with pitying each other, based on the drama, I believe.

 

Most fans' posts and reviews agreed that DH/JA are soul mates. Based on the following article there are 2 applicable types (other 2 are not applicable)

ROMANTIC SOUL MATES

This type of soulmate relationship is the stuff of storybooks, but like a great story, a romantic soulmate is both remarkable and uncommon. In a romantic soul mate connection, it’s as though each person involved has a deep connection to the other’s feelings, like two wires on the same circuit. There is an ability to bring one another a deep sense of emotional and physical pleasure, yet unlike a normal hot relationship, there is also the experience of true love. For this rare type of soulmate connection, the two people have a sense of sharing the same soul, and finally, feel complete physically and mentally. They also experience each other’s happiness and pain, thus making this type of soulmate connection a great gift and a great responsibility.

SOUL PARTNER 

Unlike the deep romantic love felt in the previous soul connection, a soul partner is more of a friend. It’s like that person you haven’t seen for years, yet as soon as you’re together, it’s as if no time has passed and you were never apart. A soul partner feels as much a part of your life as any family member, and you’re always on the same page. It is as if your relationship with this person exists beyond the boundaries of time and space. You have been traveling through eternity together, and during each successive lifetime, you never allow yourselves to drift too far apart.

Read more at: https://www.newsobserver.com/health-wellness/article270699332.html#storylink=cpy

If DH not reciprocating the romantic love of JA, he is not on the same page as her which is required as soul partner. Hence he cannot be her soul partner. Right? And he missed too much of her to be her soul partner too. Rest of the answer is obvious.

[actionscript]

On 7/21/2023 at 12:30 AM, sweetroad said:

It's funny to me that in both the story and in interviews, IU and JA are "allowed" to like PDH/ LSK, but LSK doesn't allow himself to ever give away that PDH loved JA romantically. He's cagey about it.

 

Because that would tantamount to spewing out spoilers? 

 

 

 

I’ve recently watched Glitch, a Korean show about alien abductions and religious cults. On the surface, it’s a straight up sci-fi thriller and a bit of a social commentary on religious cults. But beneath the surface, it is also about a same-sex love story between the two female leads. Just like in MM, or even more so, there are totally no romantic scenes, just subtle clues and symbolisms. In fact, I’ve read of analysis that says the entire alien mystery arc and even the entire story are just allegories for the female lead’s struggles with her sexuality in conservative Korea. Her sexuality is not a theme and never is a topic in the show, in fact, she has a boyfriend. But their sex scene right off the bat in the first episode is actually one of those “clues.”

 

Just like MM, it’s a prequel to a love story. This is not a reco to watch though. For me, it’s so-so at best. I was just pleasantly surprised to stumble upon another love story prequel, which we don’t get a lot of, and this one even masked further beneath alien sightings and abductions!

 

And it’s fascinating to see how forces in society – on how old customs and practices battling the influences of modernity, are made tangible in literature like K dramas. In MM, we’ve seen how the themes like divorce, though already legal, is not yet widely practiced and accepted the way it is in the US. There are also other themes like seniority vs meritocracy in the workplace and family responsibilities. And the more controversial ones like taboo romances are cloaked behind clues and symbols. 

 

 

 

I’ve tried a little experiment to see if chatgpt 3.5 is a shipper or not. First question I asked is, “In the Korean drama My Ahjussi, did Park Dong Hoon love Lee Ji An?”

 

Spoiler

 

 

Next, I asked “did Park Dong Hoon and Lee Ji An end up together?”

 

Spoiler

 

Ok, these generative AI stuff needs more training!

 

EDIT: But honestly, the answers blew me away! Like, it's scary good!

[sadiesmith]

Watch this Twitter account as the owner shares her thoughts during her ongoing My Mister marathon. She is a very critical viewer, but she does have very good instinct and insights and seems to smell something is "off" right away. Here's something she shared that reminds me of another reviewer's observation of LJA's depression.

 

 

 

[Unclouded]

On 7/20/2023 at 12:30 PM, sweetroad said:

Haha, not cheating at all!

 

It's funny to me that in both the story and in interviews, IU and JA are "allowed" to like PDH/ LSK, but LSK doesn't allow himself to ever give away that PDH loved JA romantically. He's cagey about it.

 

Are there interviews where LSK goes in-depth about DH's feelings or relationship with JA? I feel like every interview I read, he doesn't even go into that. It's such a vivid difference, IU can even talk about feeling like wanting to cry after seeing DH's smile, but he's so restrained. 

[Raymond]

Rewatching (3rd time) episode 15 very slowly in between MLN and Crowned Clown, it is difficult to understand why some could still imagine YH would stay in the marriage at the end. Being asked by DH and agreed to expose her betrayal just to help JA, and knowing JA's sacrificial love for her husband, and what JA meant for DH, who DH cared for the most, even bringing JA to the community friends, YH told the DH and all viewers her way of reconciliation is to help JA all the way, as her compensation to DH for all the bad things started by her affair. YH is clearly helping to clear the path for JA, to allow her a future with her husband, so they can be both happy. Repeating earlier post, in a conservative society such as Korea, her betrayal, being exposed to the public (via media reporting of the court case), just impossible to stay in the marriage, not even staying in Korea.

IU's latest 'Dream' is on Netflix today!

[dongans]

23 minutes ago, Raymond said:

Rewatching (3rd time) episode 15 very slowly in between MLN and Crowned Clown, it is difficult to understand why some could still imagine YH would stay in the marriage at the end.

 

Was always pretty clear to me that she had moved on while she was still married to DH. She fell in love with someone else, is not that simple to just fall out of love and love your husband again (if she never really loved him - and vice versa - will be more difficult). People tend to disregard YH's feelings. Like, it's all about whether DH will forgive her or not, but they never really think about what she wants in the end. Someone once said a nice thing about their dynamic, that she never asks him to forgive her in order to start again. For him to give her a second chance. 

[Raymond]

5 hours ago, dongans said:

 

Was always pretty clear to me that she had moved on while she was still married to DH. She fell in love with someone else, is not that simple to just fall out of love and love your husband again (if she never really loved him - and vice versa - will be more difficult). People tend to disregard YH's feelings. Like, it's all about whether DH will forgive her or not, but they never really think about what she wants in the end. Someone once said a nice thing about their dynamic, that she never asks him to forgive her in order to start again. For him to give her a second chance. 

Exactly right. Why the women's side always ignored? Seems future happiness of both YH and JA not really important. And based on kdrama formula, if the marriage still intact, the very last scene after the cafe reunion might be a phone call from DH to YH reporting seeing JA. Or if there is no romance future between DH/JA, then might be at the cafe, either:

DH's friend is a woman, or,

One of JA's colleagues is a young man

[Unclouded]

On 7/25/2023 at 9:58 PM, dongans said:

Someone once said a nice thing about their dynamic, that she never asks him to forgive her in order to start again. For him to give her a second chance. 

 

Exactly! She's jealous of DH's relationship with his family, the fact that she's not there, but she's not jealous about his relationship with JA. It's because she's over him by that point. 

 

One thing I found curious is the way DH reacts to being told by JH that to her, it sounds like JA likes him (when talking about her like for the neighbourhood). His expression when looking away struck me as being similar to when he walks away after JA confesses to him in the street and he hits her. I wonder where the point is when he's comfortable with her feelings. Is it when he finds out about the wiretap?

[Raymond]

On 7/29/2023 at 3:41 AM, Unclouded said:

One thing I found curious is the way DH reacts to being told by JH that to her, it sounds like JA likes him (when talking about her like for the neighbourhood). His expression when looking away struck me as being similar to when he walks away after JA confesses to him in the street and he hits her. I wonder where the point is when he's comfortable with her feelings. Is it when he finds out about the wiretap?

Agreed very much on the point about DH's reaction finding out the wiretap. Using watching kdramas experience, usually after major secret reviewed between the main leads, normally near the end, after a short period of turbulence, their relationship always got strengthened. But DH even has no negative reaction knowing the wiretap, other then surprised (many posts predicted wiretap a relationship breaker). And instead he then quickly and fully understands why JA knows him so well and understands him so much, even with him building a physical wall between them. And her feeling on him is built on solid foundations, not just some crush. So based on full understanding he is comfortable with her feelings. Quite natural humans psychology.

[Unclouded]

On 7/29/2023 at 11:07 PM, Raymond said:

But DH even has no negative reaction knowing the wiretap, other then surprised (many posts predicted wiretap a relationship breaker). And instead he then quickly and fully understands why JA knows him so well and understands him so much, even with him building a physical wall between them. And her feeling on him is built on solid foundations, not just some crush.

 

You're right. It's impressive how he evolves from feeling sad that JA knows him and can see through him (when he's talking to KH at the bar way earlier) to feeling so tied up with her, so pleased that she was able to see/hear his life and take his side. That distance has completely narrowed by then. 

 

On 7/29/2023 at 11:07 PM, Raymond said:

Using watching kdramas experience, usually after major secret reviewed between the main leads, normally near the end, after a short period of turbulence, their relationship always got strengthened.

 

Here what stood out is that the revealed secret strengthens the relationship but doesn't resolve the problems that DH's carrying. Usually Kdramas have a very 'love solves everything' way of thinking, but not here. Even after DH brings JA back 'home' to stay at JH's bar, as he leaves to go back to his house, he's still sighing wearily the same way he was every other day. And he avoids the bar as well. It forces him to expose his weakness to the world and then to stabilize himself afterwards with everyone knowing that. Only then can he and JA meet as equals, so she doesn't have to keep looking over him and protecting him.

 

Another thing that's kinda neat is that the way JA and DH look back at each other at the end is a bit similar to when they looked at each other while drinking (when JA smiles for the first time). DH looks back first and then JA after him. The only difference is that instead of seeing them make eye contact, we get his voiceover instead ('Have you reached happiness?') followed by her response. And then we see her smile again. 

[Raymond]

On 8/1/2023 at 4:18 PM, Unclouded said:

 

You're right. It's impressive how he evolves from feeling sad that JA knows him and can see through him (when he's talking to KH at the bar way earlier) to feeling so tied up with her, so pleased that she was able to see/hear his life and take his side. That distance has completely narrowed by then. 

 

 

Here what stood out is that the revealed secret strengthens the relationship but doesn't resolve the problems that DH's carrying. Usually Kdramas have a very 'love solves everything' way of thinking, but not here. Even after DH brings JA back 'home' to stay at JH's bar, as he leaves to go back to his house, he's still sighing wearily the same way he was every other day. And he avoids the bar as well. It forces him to expose his weakness to the world and then to stabilize himself afterwards with everyone knowing that. Only then can he and JA meet as equals, so she doesn't have to keep looking over him and protecting him.

 

Another thing that's kinda neat is that the way JA and DH look back at each other at the end is a bit similar to when they looked at each other while drinking (when JA smiles for the first time). DH looks back first and then JA after him. The only difference is that instead of seeing them make eye contact, we get his voiceover instead ('Have you reached happiness?') followed by her response. And then we see her smile again. 

The concluding last 20 minutes of the drama is clearly a summary of the path of healing regarding careers development, and family, love future of the 3 Park brothers. SH would be reuniting with his wife, KH resuming his movie/drama writing career and meeting Yu Ra again, and finally showing DH became a CEO of his own company, ending his marriage with YH (shown by his sobing alone either for his family breakup or for absence of JA, or both, but wont be any sobing if there is reconciliation, plus clearly shown by his new photos in his new office), and at the end, reuniting with JA in Seoul as his most unlikely, new love (dinner dating after the long, firm handshake, both looking back on deparure,  and JA's final 2 'yes' on reaching her happiness (now having the 'free' DH in her life, and no need for jealousy anymore etc), plus the flashing yellow traffic light when JA first passed by Samam E&C, and steady green traffic light shown behind DH at the end). So all good happy endings after near 16 episodes of suffering.

Any alternative ending suggestion would not have any base. The ending is brief, but no open ending.

After Mr Gu's long jump, from episode 5 onwards MLN started to be interesting and comfortably enjoyable.

[sweetroad]

On 7/24/2023 at 1:13 AM, Unclouded said:

Are there interviews where LSK goes in-depth about DH's feelings or relationship with JA?

 

You probably saw it referenced back in January 2022 of this thread, but in the interview LSK did for the special MM Blu-Ray disc, he did answer a few questions about how DH feels about JA, and he explicitly said that it was different kinds of love, but not the love between a man and a woman. Otherwise I haven't seen interviews where he goes too in-depth.

 

On 7/25/2023 at 8:58 PM, dongans said:

Someone once said a nice thing about their dynamic, that she never asks him to forgive her in order to start again. For him to give her a second chance. 

 

Good point. In fact, she realizes that DH doesn't feel any affection for her anymore, and she doesn't broach the topic of starting over with him. She just wants to make it right.

 

On 7/25/2023 at 9:58 PM, Raymond said:

And based on kdrama formula, if the marriage still intact, the very last scene after the cafe reunion might be a phone call from DH to YH reporting seeing JA. Or if there is no romance future between DH/JA, then might be at the cafe, either:

DH's friend is a woman, or,

One of JA's colleagues is a young man

 

I appreciate how you and @actionscript think, presenting alternative scenes and endings that would have demonstrated that the show had opposite intentions. You're right, the ending scene would have been set up differently had MM wanted to show without a doubt that DH and JA would forever remain just friends.

 

On 8/1/2023 at 1:18 AM, Unclouded said:

Here what stood out is that the revealed secret strengthens the relationship but doesn't resolve the problems that DH's carrying. Usually Kdramas have a very 'love solves everything' way of thinking, but not here. Even after DH brings JA back 'home' to stay at JH's bar, as he leaves to go back to his house, he's still sighing wearily the same way he was every other day. And he avoids the bar as well. It forces him to expose his weakness to the world and then to stabilize himself afterwards with everyone knowing that. Only then can he and JA meet as equals, so she doesn't have to keep looking over him and protecting him.

 

Yes! The show doesn't gloss over DH's very real burdens or solve them easily, even if JA is in his life for a short 3 months. One reason the show is so powerful is that it forces DH to face everything that weighs him down (even when he starts out unaware of some of his burdens) - helping his brothers, his faltering marriage, YH's affair, his relationship with DJY, his feeling of being demoted from Design to Safety at Saman (whether or not it was a true demotion), the wiretap, JA's feelings for him, etc. He even has to finally give in and have lunch with Chairman Jang.

 

Just like JA's secrets are exposed (taking the bribe, killing someone, drugging Park Dong Un, wiretapping, and more), DH's secrets get exposed as well, but both JA and DH emerge so much stronger for it all. Makes me wonder why we humans spend so much time trying to cover things up, when there could be healing and forgiveness on the other side of letting others know. Not always, of course, but sometimes.

[Raymond]

Even though there are so many things going with this drama, besides JA's granny's wish, viewers should also ask the question: would the wish of the other key elderly woman in this drama, mother of the Park brothers, that her 3 sons would all end up with the partner they could live happily with, left unanswered? This is Korea where family elders are much more respected than in western world, and in fact main parts of MM seems a long journey of fulfilling her wish?

[partyon]

 

 

Let us know which dramas are your Guilty Pleasure - ones that you might have rewatched X times or your friends / family have staged an intervention about.

 

Your Event Organizers

[Unclouded]

On 8/4/2023 at 11:37 PM, sweetroad said:

One reason the show is so powerful is that it forces DH to face everything that weighs him down (even when he starts out unaware of some of his burdens) - helping his brothers, his faltering marriage, YH's affair, his relationship with DJY, his feeling of being demoted from Design to Safety at Saman (whether or not it was a true demotion), the wiretap, JA's feelings for him, etc

 

It's interesting how this very comprehensive list differs from what normally comes to mind with a midlife crisis. This show is much more rooted in personal relationships as a source of meaning. I mostly associate midlife crises with people trying to find meaning in their lives in a more individualistic way (i.e. buying a motorcycle, getting a tattoo). Neither DH or even YH seem to do that. Emotional affairs and infidelity are typical of midlife crises, but the motivation here feels so different. It's not out of a need to 'discover oneself' or live out failed dreams, but earnestly grasping for the human connections that both of them are missing. The HK movie dream that SH wants to re-enact is what I'd expect from the typical midlife crisis, but he's also the same guy who tells DH about how he has to accept not being able to do what he used to be able to do. 

 

I feel like it would be a bit shallow if we had to see DH talking to JA about the dreams that he gave up on to become an engineer and work for his family. It's good that his problems at work weren't that his work was unappealing or uninteresting (even at Safety he takes everything seriously), but just the hostility of the environment. He still plays soccer every weekend, he never had to give up his childhood passion, his one hobby. It just doesn't fix his issues cause it's not related to why he's unhappy.  

 

On 8/4/2023 at 11:37 PM, sweetroad said:

Makes me wonder why we humans spend so much time trying to cover things up, when there could be healing and forgiveness on the other side of letting others know. Not always, of course, but sometimes.

 

I also like how we see both successful and unsuccessful versions of letting other people know your problems in this show. Both YH and JA tell DH what bothers them. YH tells DH repeatedly about her desire to leave the neighbourhood and live somewhere else, while JA tells DH about her anxiety over her past, her fear of being found out. He empathises a lot more with JA than his own wife. And I think that's because of the way they approach their problems. JA leads with her feelings, her whole relationship with DH starts from a shared emotional understanding. So once he finds out about the details that cause her to be so worried, he's already taken her side emotionally and has no problem supporting her. But YH seems to have started with what she wants, without really talking about why she feels that way. I don't think she confesses how she feels stifled, alone, unloved (the heart of her insecurity about family) until it's too late. When she says "you don't know what I really need", it's not like she didn't try to let him know. All her attempts never got through to him. 

[Raymond]

In MLN Park Hae Yeong shown us what she can't show us in MM. After long period of separation (is it also just over 1 year in MLN?), which allowed Mr Gu and Mi Jeong to reflect and further strengthen their love for each other, they reunited and went for dinner, drink, and ended up spending the night together. Likely same would be for DH/JA. Both actually kind of fairy tales romantic stories, not really possible for the 2 main leads to end up together in real life, to me.

[dongans]

On 7/28/2023 at 2:41 PM, Unclouded said:

Exactly! She's jealous of DH's relationship with his family, the fact that she's not there, but she's not jealous about his relationship with JA. It's because she's over him by that point. 

It's nice to think that: she doesn't feel jealousy in a romantic way, because indeed, she is over him. But in the end she confessed to JA that she was jealous in a bitter way, because JA evoked some emotions and behaviours in DH that YH was never really able to.

 

--

 

@Raymond, I always thought about PHY wanting to make "things to happen" in MLN because she couldn't in MM. This saddens me, but also creates more to us to discuss about it. Nice insight about the 1 year apart of MLN being somewhat of a response to DH and JA's next date. I'm a true believer that PYH is giving us signs lol

[Raymond]

22 hours ago, dongans said:

 I always thought about PHY wanting to make "things to happen" in MLN because she couldn't in MM. This saddens me, but also creates more to us to discuss about it. Nice insight about the 1 year apart of MLN being somewhat of a response to DH and JA's next date. I'm a true believer that PYH is giving us signs lol

In the last episode of MLN, Gi Jeong said she loves Tae Hun starting with pity and respect, and asked why love from pity and respect not love, it is all the same to her. And the last voiceover Mi Jeong said she's happy as she is filled of love, and Mr Gu agreed. All mirror images of MM.

I need answer on what Mr Gu is doing with all his money. I couldn't agree he is paying the loan shark as he just fought with them, nor paying his friend who just escaped and won't see him for a while. Unlikely to the chairman for his friend's debt as his friend has no chance of working for the chairman anymore. Would it be for a new start back to the country with Mi Jeong after resigning from his job? That’s the best option if true.

[Unclouded]

On 8/8/2023 at 9:26 PM, dongans said:

It's nice to think that: she doesn't feel jealousy in a romantic way, because indeed, she is over him. But in the end she confessed to JA that she was jealous in a bitter way, because JA evoked some emotions and behaviours in DH that YH was never really able to.

 

Maybe I'm misremembering, but I thought it was JA who told YH that she felt jealous. I thought what YH felt at seeing JA's protectiveness of her husband was remorse, that she should've been the one doing that instead. The feelings that YH wants from DH don't seem to be the same as the ones that JA evokes. 

 

If DJY was more genuine in his love for her, would YH be bothered by JA's closeness to DH at all? The whole scene where DJY defends why he's dating YH feels a bit strange the more I think about it. He gets in trouble for saying that the safest  type of woman to date is a married woman, which is obviously nonsense. He just doesn't want to be even more vulnerable in front of JA. But if DJY loved YH enough to be more open about his feelings rather than having to make up silly excuses like this, I feel like she would've gladly stayed with him.