Ask The Fellas

[Guest Dreaming-sailor]

.....

[Guest to.dance]

So I need help figuring out if this guy is serious or if he's just playing around with me. I'm sorry if I seem naive, but bad experience has made me very wary of guys.
I've been crushing on one of my guy friends for a while, and one night we made out. The next day he told me he's liked me for a while too, and asked me out on what I assumed was a date. We both had a lot of fun
We've been seeing each other for about 2 months now, and I see him about twice a week. We both agreed to keep a low profile for now since we're in the same group of friends, and we didn't want things to be awkward. (Bunch of guys & I'm the only girl.. :S ) So we've obviously spent a lot of time together, but we haven't really had "the talk" about where we are. We fool around a lot, watch movies, I have dinner with his family & chat. We do some coupley stuff like hold hands & cuddle. But I've never heard him refer to me as a girlfriend or friend, we don't talk on the phone (to be fair we see each other a lot & we both work full time) & sometimes I wonder if those are his real intentions about wanting to keep us secret.
He does say some stuff that makes him sound serious about us. Like months ago, shortly after I met him, he told me he didn't want flings, he wanted a serious girlfriend. He told me he was going to miss me when he goes overseas for 2 weeks. But he could just be saying those things right? 
So my question is, do you guys think he's just playing around with me? Or do you think he's serious? Or am I being overly paranoid over nothing??

[Guest bubblyteax]

I've been dating my bf for 2 months now, and every now and then, people tell me how he's this bad guy: a player, does drugs; not the right guy for me.

But I know he stopped doing drugs last year, and he's dating me.. I doubt he would cheat on me. Should I just go with the present or let his past actions decide my dating life?

I feel like i'm his actual first girlfriend he liked because the rest were just sex buddies, and even did it with his cousin.. the thing is, he doesn't know how to show his feelings; I talk to my friends more than him and it's really sad to me. I told him how it seems like he doesn't care about me, and got wicked mad.. I've seen him cry too. But the thing is, we go to the same school, and barely live that far from each other.

I just need a guy's input on all of this.. I'm so confused and i'm so naive with judging.

[oooroosay]

what is the best way i can get back at my ex-boyfriend for all the stupid stuff he has done to me? 

[Guest Daisy-W]

I was wondering if you guys had any certain "rules" they like to use while in a relationship? For example, I have a friend whose boyfriend always pays for her because he never lets the girl pay. My brother's rule is the boyfriend never eats at the girlfriend's house because the gf's house is not a homeless shelter. I think my brother's rule is kind of meh.. but kind of interesting to what guys have in mind.

[MrPower]

Dreaming-sailor

 said:Recently, my guy friend kissed me and from there and onwards we've been spending more time with each other. A week ago, while we were making out, he brought up the question whether this was serious or not. I didn't answer him immediately and asked what he wanted. He said he wasn't sure (which was the same way I felt about this situation). He said he wasn't good with committing to things and I to an extent, felt that way as well. We always saw each other as just friends prior to this and that there wasn't a possibility that something like this would occur. While we continued to make out, we continued this conversation about our 'relationship'. 

He said he enjoyed my company and found me attractive but he didn't know what to do or how he really felt. He also said that he wanted to keep everything a secret for now, because he didn't want our mutual friends annoying us with a thousand questions. I also asked him why he kissed me initially, he answered saying that he wasn't sure and that I was just there at the right time, at the right place (we were watching a movie in his room). Also in a somewhat joking manner, he said he hasn't kissed a girl in a few years and maybe it was time. I responded asking why he didn't just hook up with girls at clubs since he went so often. He responded saying they were too slutty. What also makes him unsure of what to do with the situation is that we're 4 years apart. I'm technically underage until June of this year and there's a high chance that he'll be leaving in 2-3 months to live in Europe for a few months or up to a year maximum. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave now (although it'd be a really great opportunity for him) and if he started a serious relationship and did remain there for a year he didn't want me to miss him. 

It was obvious that our conversation was going nowhere but in circles and we just concluded that it'd be casual. He joked around saying that we're now sort of like friends with benefits and then I brought up my concerns saying that those things never worked because one person would eventually develop feelings for each other. He said that he never imagined he'd be in a situation like this as well and came up with a solution that if one of us did develop feelings, they'd have to immediately tell the other and both of us would sort it out from there.

Although we both agreed to the terms, I don't know why I feel slightly upset. I don't like him more than a friend and I don't want to be in a 'friends with benefits' type of situation but I don't want to stop kissing him or stop spending that extra time with him. Could someone please give me an input into my situation and what I should. I'd also like your perspective on what his intentions are. Is he just using these excuses just to keep it casual or is he really unsure of how to handle everything?

Here's my take: I think you both just want to have fun and have the other one around to release some tension. Basically, you're settling for each other. Do whatever you want. Just ask yourself whether or not you'll be able to look back and be proud of your past. The actions you take now affect your future self, so take appropriate action.

to.dance

 said:So I need help figuring out if this guy is serious or if he's just playing around with me. I'm sorry if I seem naive, but bad experience has made me very wary of guys.

I've been crushing on one of my guy friends for a while, and one night we made out. The next day he told me he's liked me for a while too, and asked me out on what I assumed was a date. We both had a lot of fun

We've been seeing each other for about 2 months now, and I see him about twice a week. We both agreed to keep a low profile for now since we're in the same group of friends, and we didn't want things to be awkward. (Bunch of guys

He does say some stuff that makes him sound serious about us. Like months ago, shortly after I met him, he told me he didn't want flings, he wanted a serious girlfriend. He told me he was going to miss me when he goes overseas for 2 weeks. But he could just be saying those things right? 

So my question is, do you guys think he's just playing around with me? Or do you think he's serious? 

Or am I being overly paranoid over nothing??

If this richard simmons is exclusive then you need to just let the relationship you have to ease into the territory of gf/bf. The title itself isn't as important as the way you make each other feel. Ask yourself, is he somebody I want to be with? Does his actions reflect on the notion of caring about you? Don't just assume. Talk to him when you get the chance.
bubblyteax said:I've been dating my bf for 2 months now, and every now and then, people tell me how he's this bad guy: a player, does drugs; not the right guy for me.

But I know he stopped doing drugs last year, and he's dating me.. I doubt he would cheat on me. Should I just go with the present or let his past actions decide my dating life?

I feel like i'm his actual first girlfriend he liked because the rest were just sex buddies, and even did it with his cousin.. the thing is, he doesn't know how to show his feelings; I talk to my friends more than him and it's really sad to me. I told him how it seems like he doesn't care about me, and got wicked mad.. I've seen him cry too. But the thing is, we go to the same school, and barely live that far from each other.

I just need a guy's input on all of this.. I'm so confused and i'm so naive with judging.

If I were you, I'd steer clear of a guy. A man is not his past, but the past is part of the man.

oooroosay

said: what is the best way i can get back at my ex-boyfriend for all the stupid stuff he has done to me? 

Depends on how bad. Seems like you still care about him.The best way to get any man jealous is to find success without him. It can be measured in all sorts of ways, but the easiest in my opinion is to find a better man.

Daisy-W

said: I was wondering if you guys had any certain "rules" they like to use while in a relationship? For example, I have a friend whose boyfriend always pays for her because he never lets the girl pay. My brother's rule is the boyfriend never eats at the girlfriend's house because the gf's house is not a homeless shelter. I think my brother's rule is kind of meh.. but kind of interesting to what guys have in mind.

Never let a girl pay? richard simmons that. That's like saying a girl is helpless and can't do richard simmons on her own. If she wants to pay for something, she's free to try and beat me to the bill.

Here are some of my rules.

Rules
1. Respect her
2. Love her
3. Trust her
4. Do what's best for her
5. Never take her for granted.

[oooroosay]

yes, mr. power is right.....
i want to kick his balls off but i'll just have to move on... *sigH* thank you 

[MrPower]

oooroosay

said: yes, mr. power is right.....

i want to kick his balls off but i'll just have to move on... *sigH* thank you 

Please don't threaten a man's genitalia. You may be threatening another man's junk, but we all wince at the thought. Don't give people an excuse to call you a crazy richard simmons.

[oooroosay]

MrPower said:

oooroosay

said: yes, mr. power is right.....

i want to kick his balls off but i'll just have to move on... *sigH* thank you 

[MrPower]

oooroosay said: MrPower said:

oooroosay

said: yes, mr. power is right.....

i want to kick his balls off but i'll just have to move on... *sigH* thank you 

Please don't threaten a man's genitalia. You may be threatening another man's junk, but we all wince at the thought. Don't give people an excuse to call you a crazy richard simmons. why do you care though? its not directed towards you. 
i dont even know you  ^ You need to be a man to understand this one.

[odaesan]

It's true.

[Guest utellah]

On our first meeting hanging out with mutual friends at a bar, he sat diagonally from me, but moves over to the empty seat to my left. He strikes up a conversation and asks how my friend (our mutual friend) and I met and so forth.. and asks things like, "What were you like as a kid?"  ... "Tell me a funny story." ..What I did for a living and why I chose that career field.

Same night, at a second bar (no, no one was drunk) he was seated diagonally from me again. Asks what I want to drink, but I decline nicely.. because I don't really feel comfortable making guys buy me drinks. He gets up to go buy a drink, but comes back and pulls a chair over to the empty spot to my left. The eight of us play a game, which I have never played before, he explains all the rules to me... over and over because I did not understand and kept asking him to explain. Does it nicely and never seems annoyed, genuinely trying to teach me the game. He doesn't play the first few rounds, helps me out instead and explains to me once again whenever I make a mistake. Game learned, night ends. (He also did this with me with another game on a different occasion.)

Couple months later after hearing about my embarrassing drunken nights -__- . He asks me why I always let them get me drunk (honestly, my tolerance just isn't as high) and tells me I got to stop letting them do that to me. Being a little tipsy, I ask him to help me. Haha. He doesn't drink, because he smokes. He tells me to just take the shot and spit it into my chaser... and so, I did a few minutes later when I had to take another shot.

He teases me about my work and doesn't make me feel weird for never having done something.. like never having coffee, or seeing a specific show/movie, etc..

Whenever we talk, he always, and I mean always, touches my stomach. Be it, poking my stomach or gently caressing it. He's always looking out for me and tries to pick little fights with me. Recently he was playing with my elbows as my arms were crossed and I asked him if he was playing with my elbow fat.. haha and he said, "yeah, a little elbow fat. It's cute though."

My question is... What is up with the guy??

[Guest Losersx2]

Attempting to make this as short as possible.
I went to a party and reunited with a guy I had a "thing" for two years ago. Things ended because I stopped talking to him and we never really pursued a relationship and things just ended there. Well, at this party, we sort of "got together" and we talked a bit, wondering why things never actually happened between us. I was drunk and he was too, so I don't really remember the details but we did talk about starting things over again. But later that night, we texted each other and it was along the lines of him asking if we're gonna be exclusive/he has the impression that I get tons of attention from other guys kinda like I don't need him or something.
So I text him the next day slowly trying to get answers from him, asking how messed up he was that night, which he admits he pretty much was... and I asked him how much of it he meant and his response is "don't worry, I know you're trying to keep things on the dl" dafuq is that supposed to mean? I mean, yes, I am interested in him again, but I don't want to look clingy or misreading things.I asked him what his intentions were and he said he had none and it was just good seeing me again after a long time. And like I'm too stubborn to start conversation with him because he didn't reply to my last text lol So:a. he was really just f'ed up and saying dumb richard simmons while drunk and meant nothing and is avoiding confrontation with me so I don't misread thingsb. he sort does mean it but feels like he doesn't stand a chance/thinks I'm uninterestedc. ...??I don't know how to spark convo again either. My last text was "I heard from XX that YY got mad at you for cockblocking him lol GG" and zero response... awk.

[odaesan]

utellah said: My question is... What is up with the guy??

[Guest Jady]

Hello fellas,
I'm in a dilemma. I've been working a lot lately and unexpectedly found myself having feelings for my manager. We talk a lot and have a lot in common, and I realized he has all the traits I've always wanted in a guy. In return, I also feel like I have traits he wants in a girl. We talk about many things including relationships and traits we like. The only problem is, he is my superior and of course our conversations are personal but still in a professional level so we don't make moves on each other. We are 11 years apart. I'm just curious about what you guys think about this. Chances are nothing will happen because of our professional relationship but it's been eating me up just because of how well we connect with our interests and personalities. 

[Guest Eru]

utellah said: On our first meeting hanging out with mutual friends at a bar, he sat diagonally from me, but moves over to the empty seat to my left. He strikes up a conversation and asks how my friend (our mutual friend) and I met and so forth.. and asks things like, "What were you like as a kid?"  ... "Tell me a funny story." ..What I did for a living and why I chose that career field.

Same night, at a second bar (no, no one was drunk) he was seated diagonally from me again. Asks what I want to drink, but I decline nicely.. because I don't really feel comfortable making guys buy me drinks. He gets up to go buy a drink, but comes back and pulls a chair over to the empty spot to my left. The eight of us play a game, which I have never played before, he explains all the rules to me... over and over because I did not understand and kept asking him to explain. Does it nicely and never seems annoyed, genuinely trying to teach me the game. He doesn't play the first few rounds, helps me out instead and explains to me once again whenever I make a mistake. Game learned, night ends. (He also did this with me with another game on a different occasion.)

Couple months later after hearing about my embarrassing drunken nights -__- . He asks me why I always let them get me drunk (honestly, my tolerance just isn't as high) and tells me I got to stop letting them do that to me. Being a little tipsy, I ask him to help me. Haha. He doesn't drink, because he smokes. He tells me to just take the shot and spit it into my chaser... and so, I did a few minutes later when I had to take another shot.

He teases me about my work and doesn't make me feel weird for never having done something.. like never having coffee, or seeing a specific show/movie, etc..

Whenever we talk, he always, and I mean always, touches my stomach. Be it, poking my stomach or gently caressing it. He's always looking out for me and tries to pick little fights with me. Recently he was playing with my elbows as my arms were crossed and I asked him if he was playing with my elbow fat.. haha and he said, "yeah, a little elbow fat. It's cute though."

My question is... What is up with the guy??

[Guest utellah]

Thoughts on dating your best friend's girlfriend's best friend..

yay or nay?

[Ninshark]

utellah said: Thoughts on dating your best friend's girlfriend's best friend..

yay or nay?

[MrPower]

utellah said: Thoughts on dating your best friend's girlfriend's best friend..

yay or nay?
Depends on how hot she is.
jk.

Nay. There is too much pressure. Unless there is some natural chemistry going on, I would avoid this if possible. Jady said: Hello fellas,
I'm in a dilemma. I've been working a lot lately and unexpectedly found myself having feelings for my manager. We talk a lot and have a lot in common, and I realized he has all the traits I've always wanted in a guy. In return, I also feel like I have traits he wants in a girl. We talk about many things including relationships and traits we like. The only problem is, he is my superior and of course our conversations are personal but still in a professional level so we don't make moves on each other. We are 11 years apart. I'm just curious about what you guys think about this. Chances are nothing will happen because of our professional relationship but it's been eating me up just because of how well we connect with our interests and personalities.  For men, age ain't no thang gurl~

If your career is important for you, I'd advise you to keep your feelings in check. If you can work elsewhere, then perhaps you can explore this relationship into the romantic realm. Start off with some light flirting, playful touching, etc. If he reciprocates, then you have him on the hook.

[NaughtyDog]

bubblyteax said: I've been dating my bf for 2 months now, and every now and then, people tell me how he's this bad guy: a player, does drugs; not the right guy for me.

But I know he stopped doing drugs last year, and he's dating me.. I doubt he would cheat on me. Should I just go with the present or let his past actions decide my dating life?

I feel like i'm his actual first girlfriend he liked because the rest were just sex buddies, and even did it with his cousin.. the thing is, he doesn't know how to show his feelings; I talk to my friends more than him and it's really sad to me. I told him how it seems like he doesn't care about me, and got wicked mad.. I've seen him cry too. But the thing is, we go to the same school, and barely live that far from each other.

I just need a guy's input on all of this.. I'm so confused and i'm so naive with judging.