[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

was having this conversation with a friend of mine and something she said about her divorce struck me about this drama. so @berny had asked folks whether they would accept a spouse who had cheated. (hope I got that question right...) and we have been having conversations on whether HK will accept JE back once she gets her memory back.

here's is my thought ~ what is a primary need of HK from a relationship? now the logical answer would have love at the top but that is actually not the answer for everyone. we all have one or two needs that we absolutely have to have and when it does not happen, then the relationship breaks. if that primary need is not fulfilled, that is a deal breaker. otherwise, we can soldier on.

so for JE ~ @Kfan7172 has already pointed out that this man has a huge protective instinct. in the hospital scene in the earlier episodes, he told HK that he was able to hang on as long as he thought he could protect her from herself, from being ruthless etc. so until that need was fulfilled, he was able to hang in there and soldier on regardless of whether he was unhappy in other areas.

for mama choi ~ her primary need is security. so even though MH had one or multiple affairs and yes, those do sting even after so many years, he is providing her the security that she needs. so the relationship goes on

for JR ~ her primary need is get on top of her family who has hurt her as a child and that means taking over the company. so as long as TS does his bit on trying to take over and gain control of the company, it is okay if he despises her, cheats on her etc. they are still a team because her primary need is still being met.

so what is HK's primary need? she didn't leave because he cheated. she was still very much willing to accept JE if he came back to her and wanted him to come back to her. yes, she felt hurt and anger but she wanted him. it was only when he kneeled in front of his father (that scene @MadraRua posted in page 215 and there is a picture that @irilight posted above), she agreed to the divorce. so what was it about what he did that made her sign? it has to do with her primary need. so what was it? was it respect? was it protection? think she will still accept JE back if he fulfills her primary need. the question is what is her primary need from a relationship? any ideas?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@jadecloud:... Thank you for the alternate translation of JE's "proposal"!  What a powerful, passionate confession of love that was as you brought to us.  That passionate love was in JJH's voice and in his delivery, as well!  But see what I will always miss in translation!      The actual meaning of JE's most sincere declarations are always eluding me!  No wonder I feel i don't understand what he expected from HK.

@Lmangla: even in the example you gave, the line from that film:..."from this moment, you are my property/wealth" --- It came to me that "you are my greatest treasure" might have fit well!  But that's how it is with subbing --- the best one can do at the time.    

And thank you @jadecloud, for posting the visual that followed that fiery love confession. Stark, painful contrast, indeed. And compounding that pitifully sad Hae Kang in that long rainy reverie is the very next scene --- a couple minutes of a flashback to HK/JE in their yard' anticipating the birth, and the sex, of their baby, while he compares their young love with the mature love they had then.  All of this in the first 6 minutes of Episode 7. I wanted to cry! And then to strangle Jin Eon!       To Hades with SR! And to burn in the deepest depths , too.

                                               *************************************

makes sense @mdj101! don't know why I didn't translate the line as treasure. in my language, property is treasure and given the ridiculous land prices and # of people per sq km, getting a good property is not easy. but in english, because of the historical context of slavery, saying someone is your property gives off that master-slave vibes. so while it was a dreamy line in my language, if a guy said that to me in english, I would probably slap him! hahahah..... @jadecloud ~ the csubs you mentioned has him talking about ox and ox tail soup. since ox is a farm animal for work and ox tail soup is nutritious, is he saying something like "I will work hard to provide whatever you need and will ensure that you are surrounded in goodness"?

"I love you DHK. I'm saying I love you. I'm saying I love you, fool. Marry me please. Marry me!  

Work me like your ox. Use me up like you would stew bones for all of its goodness.

I will protect you. I will always stay by your side.

Your life, every day of DHK's life, I will  purpose as treasures and fill up my life."

(Translation/X-ref : TSKS csubs)

@Lmangla

sorry dear, the translation that you wrote, could you tell me which scene is that? I don't remember which ep

@12blbbl ~ am guessing you are referring to the "you are my property" line -- that wasn't from this drama. was from a local movie and I was using that as an example to show how a dreamy line in one language can sound confusing when translated into english.. otherwise, the conversation itself was around JE's proposal to HK in ep 7 and what he was promising. hope that helps.

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

Hmmm...i think that, in general, that men still have a need, or think they need to be stronger then women, by nature and to be the main one to protect...even if they're aware that women did get stronger and stronger over the years, i think that this will never really change...and they do have kind of a fear of strong woman

As for JE...in this i think he was, coz of his pain, the opposite...he needed HK to find comfort for his deep pain...but as HK wan't able coz of her own nad as strong as she is...they get drifted away...JE's pain and need turned to disappointment and anger...when HK realized it...it was to late

thats why I called my question dicey @zagigirl ; in this day, a man expressing his protective instinct can seem oppressive but is it really wrong for a man to feel protective about a woman?

was thinking of this date where it turned out to be friendly instead of romantic but I was extremely happy to meet a nice lovely man. at the end of the coffee, he asked me to text him once I reach home. this was my reaction ~ , I was thinking to myself that am in my 30s and why on earth would I be texting him when it is 7 in the evening, peak traffic and it is not like the roads are deserted or something...; now I have had women friends also request the same and I have reluctantly complied out of friendship but with this guy, his request seemed silly even though I knew he was just being a gentleman.....

anyway, HK is a strong woman and it makes me wonder if she emasculates both BS and JE because she can just be fine on her own really. if she had allowed JE to express his protective instinct, would he still have sought the comfort of another? or now that she is able to admit that he makes her nervous as well, has she evened out the playing field for him in some way?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@Lmangla: ... Your question  "Did HK fail to give JE space to satisfy his desire/need to give her his protection?"  Made me think!   Answer? Yes, HK missed an opportunity there!

 I was seeing a counselor r/t marriage issues.   He  repeatedly asked me a simple question: "Would you rather be happy? or right?"    Wouldn't explain what he was getting at.    Eventually I got it!  Like Hae Kang, I was determined to win the argument, prove my idea was better, etc.  Always up in my head, working the logic!  Always looking to win the argument,to be right!  

Maybe I could have been happier by a different route.... if I found the way to let go and let my husband give his warmth or protection.... if I could simply receive what he wanted to give (warmth, a hug, etc)...and relax, be happy for that moment in time.  Being happy TOGETHER would be better than just winning all the arguments!      

OK...kind of a vague description, I admit.  But I think it fits with the JE need to protect vs HK's need to impose logic on whatever problem or issue they may be facing!

not vague at all @mdj101; totally makes sense and the question the counselor asked makes me think hard about myself and reflect.

what I like about HK is that she always has been a strong woman. she is not one of those whiny women who is sitting there, crying buckets of tears and helpless. instead, she helps herself for the most part and is going on with her life even though she has amnesia. but is her strength also a weakness? while BS sounds whiny for saying "stand where I can see you", if JE said that, would we still consider it as a weakness or just him expressing his protective instinct? when is a man's protective instinct a lighthouse instead of an imposition/jail? is it dependent on how we as a woman feel about him? or is it dependent on the level of trust we have in him?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@jadecloud:... Thank you for the alternate translation of JE's "proposal"!  What a powerful, passionate confession of love that was as you brought to us.  That passionate love was in JJH's voice and in his delivery, as well!  But see what I will always miss in translation!      The actual meaning of JE's most sincere declarations are always eluding me!  No wonder I feel i don't understand what he expected from HK.

@Lmangla: even in the example you gave, the line from that film:..."from this moment, you are my property/wealth" --- It came to me that "you are my greatest treasure" might have fit well!  But that's how it is with subbing --- the best one can do at the time.    

And thank you @jadecloud, for posting the visual that followed that fiery love confession. Stark, painful contrast, indeed. And compounding that pitifully sad Hae Kang in that long rainy reverie is the very next scene --- a couple minutes of a flashback to HK/JE in their yard' anticipating the birth, and the sex, of their baby, while he compares their young love with the mature love they had then.  All of this in the first 6 minutes of Episode 7. I wanted to cry! And then to strangle Jin Eon!       To Hades with SR! And to burn in the deepest depths , too.

                                               *************************************

makes sense @mdj101! don't know why I didn't translate the line as treasure. in my language, property is treasure and given the ridiculous land prices and # of people per sq km, getting a good property is not easy. but in english, because of the historical context of slavery, saying someone is your property gives off that master-slave vibes. so while it was a dreamy line in my language, if a guy said that to me in english, I would probably slap him! hahahah..... @jadecloud ~ the csubs you mentioned has him talking about ox and ox tail soup. since ox is a farm animal for work and ox tail soup is nutritious, is he saying something like "I will work hard to provide whatever you need and will ensure that you are surrounded in goodness"?

"I love you DHK. I'm saying I love you. I'm saying I love you, fool. Marry me please. Marry me!  

Work me like your ox. Use me up like you would stew bones for all of its goodness.

I will protect you. I will always stay by your side.

Your life, every day of DHK's life, I will  purpose as treasures and fill up my life."

(Translation/X-ref : TSKS csubs)

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@lmangla your post on page 208 and 

1st question as a man does a man need to have his protective instincts fulfilled to be happy in a relationship-- I would say no -- in my teens and early 20s when dating, that was not something that was key in any of my dating relationships. Having married, of course both I and my wife wish to be protective of each other -- if anything, I think we are both happy when that need never arises.  Of course if you lose a child both you and wife would feel that you failed in protecting them.

2nd question -- All people are different and in this drama For JE I do see it as a driving factor and is part of why he is mad -- but of course this is where the lack of communication between HK and JE comes into play.  Had they shared their feelings better, JE would have know that for HK his being near her, not blaming her (not say he did openly, but I can see JR and his mother going after HK) allowing her her time to grieve  in silence is the best protection he could give her -- but they didn't talk and JE could only see his way of grieving was the right way, so yes his protective instinct was  not be fulfilled.  

thanks for answering my question so well @Kfan7172 ; a thought I had this morning was what if his protective instinct was an extension of his need to feel needed. did he feel unneeded or unwanted as a child? and does protecting someone make him feel needed? and since HK didn't need him, did he enjoy SR's attention as it looked like she needed him? and then after going around in circles, did he realize that he wasn't looking for someone to need him but he wanted HK to need him ~ was that what happened?

and here's a dicey question ~ curious to see how people respond. is a woman setting herself up for relationship failure if she fails to leave space for a man's protective instinct to flourish? as kfan7172 pointed out, all men are not the same but some men like JE do need their protective instinct to be fulfilled. so did HK fail to give him the space? was she too independent and failed to depend on him a little? or was there something that HK could have done to have the balance between independence and giving JE that fulfillment that he was needed?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@Tata555 ~ thanks for your appreciation on the snow post and liking the "meat"; actually am not paying that close attention to dialogue in this drama and so it is fantastic that @mdj101 and @jadecloud are posting these snippets that make us re-think about what these characters are saying. the fun of a forum like this is people are from all over with different experiences and so the discussion can actually be even more entertaining than the drama itself. @trust71 ~ am actually sitting in Asia but depending on when I log in, I end up catching folks in North America either when they are ready to go to bed or when they are awake in the morning. the magic of time zones!

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@airgelaal:...Good catch there!  I'm so used to thinking of her as a lab worker, I assumed she had a job.  But I think you are right.  As I'm typing I am remembering TS offering her a position at MNP.  She said something about "will consider it with the other offers she's received".

                     And isn't it true:..."Idle hands are the Devil's workshop!"   No way do I see her in need of a "Domestic Worker" --- insert flashing warning lights & roadside flares & Klaxon horns ( sounds like: awoogah!!  awoogah!!).

she doesn't look like the type to get satisfaction from cleaning a room! hahahah.... more like destroying a room is her standard when she gets stressed out.. well it would be rather boring to clean up the room herself after she had a meltdown.... so she does need a housekeeper!!

 

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

<<  "I love you, Do Hae Kang.  I love you.  Me, You. I'm saying it's love, silly.  Marry me.

Take me and use me for whatever you want and need. I will protect you. I will watch 

over you. All your life, every day of your life. I will happily take care of them and

keep them preciously in my life" >>

@mdj101 ~ don't know korean and so am not sure if this applies. but in english definitely, "Take me and use me" sounds pretty bad and makes it sound like an abusive kind of connotation or BDSM. kekeke.... but since this phrase comes before the sentence "I will protect you", understood it as him saying I will be your protector in whatever way you need me to be. this is probably one of those lost in translation kind of nuances where a direct translation actually does not convey the meaning of what they say. for example in one local movie, the guy said this very dreamy line when the lady accepts him ~ "from this moment, You are my property/wealth" -- that sounds a bit shady in english but what it actually means that she is incredibly precious to him and she is now his to protect and he will handle all the troubles.

@jadecloud ~ how did the chinese subs translate this? did it have a different meaning?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

.........................

SIDE DISCUSSION 

What drives this need for JE to protect people that he feels needs his protection?
I think it goes back to his younger days in his family -- A discussion between MH and SH tells us that the discord between him and his father started at a young age (we don't know why, no scenes shown). He may have felt he had no one to protect him and this drives his desire to protect others?

maybe it is kind of a reverse situation @Kfan7172 like you said; he felt unprotected as a child and so when he sees someone vulnerable, he wants to protect them. his mother is an airhead and she was the second wife who graduated from mistress to wife and so she is pretty hopeless at protecting him. his older sister JR is angry and vengeful at the betrayal and the dad just does not care. so he was on his own emotionally perhaps...

for me, a question that the drama raises is does a man need to have his protective instinct fulfilled in order to be happy in a relationship? (would be curious to hear your take as a man and others as well) did he feel emasculated by HK's coldness because she did not need him when their daughter died? she did not need him to hold her when she cried? she did not need him as she mourned? and since he could not protect his daughter from death and his wife from grief, what good was he as a man -- was that the kind of thoughts that drove his anger? his failure to protect those he loved so deeply?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@lmangla I agree to a certain extent with what you posted on page 206 and your discussion about TS and visiting HK mother.  But would like to add that -- he did have something to gain -- SR in discussing HK death basically wonders why TS continued to search for HK if she is dead.  Also, TS could locate no body after the crash.  I think part of his visits to HK mom, is to stay close, to find out if HK has ever made contact with her mother -- he is very sensitive and fearful of HK really being alive after that attempted murder.

To add on...

That's also why TS planted his dongsaeng GS in that house, to lodge with and to monitor GS as well. It's logical that if HK were still alive, she would make contact with her mom, her only 'civil' relations. Also, as we've seen in ep 20, GS does have his own little house/apt, where he's accommodating YK and dd.

it makes sense that TS planted GS and it was kill two birds with one stone tactic like you said... but @jadecloud ~ was that his house?? thought she had written down the address because she was renting the place for 3 months and he was asking her where it was when they got out of the cab and she was frustrated with him because it was her first time there... and the wallpaper was pretty sad and the house looked kind of cheap for a doctor... 

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

...................

 MY QUESTION:...Does JE have a problem putting his feelings into words?  Or does the Writer have a problem writing dialogue for a guy?                          

EDIT:... An example of one of JE's RIDDLES:---- in the "flashback" in Epi. 7 JE asks the question of HK:   

 "What do you think is the difference between our love back when we were just dating and our love now?"

The answer?  "Our love while first dating was like the First Snow---I missed you and I was going crazy"  (???)    "Our love now is like the Last Day of Snow ---I'm cold, but the snow is warm. You feel emotional & everything feels precious."    

NOW WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN ?   cAN ANYBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT?    As i look over those early episodes, JE has said more than I first realised.  But i'm at a loss figuring out what he is really trying to say.  That is another big "hole" in the drama for me.  

 

 @mdj101 ~ you would have to ask some of the men here in this thread if men like to talk in riddles. kekeke.. but think some men do! as for the riddle example you asked, here's a question -- do you live in place or have lived in a place where it snows?

remember my first experience with snow -- it was exciting and fun; then time passes and you get used to winter and snow no longer excites you. it is just means being cold, getting wet while walking to school. but the last day of snow comes and even though it feels cold, the snow does feel warm. you know that spring is coming and there is a sense of nostalgia that another winter has come and gone. it is weird but there is sense of time passing which can make you feel nostalgic even as you look forward.

so based on that, would say JE is saying just that. at the beginning of the relationship, it was all excitement. but now, that phase has gone and they are no longer in the first flush of love but it is still warm. they are ready to start a new life (she was pregnant in ep 7 flashback) and so their life is changing. spring is coming. but they have this little time in between to enjoy the transition and everything feels precious... not sure if what am saying makes sense but basically he is giving that nostalgia vibe that one gets when we look forward and back at the same time.

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

 

@lmangla I agree to a certain extent with what you posted on page 206 and your discussion about TS and visiting HK mother.  But would like to add that -- he did have something to gain -- SR in discussing HK death basically wonders why TS continued to search for HK if she is dead.  Also, TS could locate no body after the crash.  I think part of his visits to HK mom, is to stay close, to find out if HK has ever made contact with her mother -- he is very sensitive and fearful of HK really being alive after that attempted murder.

makes sense.  find TS interesting in that even though he is a villain, there is something about him that makes him very human and sympathetic.. feel sorry for the bloke that he has lost his way in his climb to success and now is making more and more mud pits in order to get out. whereas SR is like a piranha and so have yet to feel sorry no matter how many tears she sheds!  

@lmangla Your posting on page 201 --- I agree -- I think the information we now know that HK YK mother and father were not officially married will be very important when it comes to any claims related to the patent that their father had and MH stole.
Not impossible, but difficult, for them to claim that they are his rightful heirs and deserve compensation from the wealth that his patent generates for MPC company.
Let's hope that their father at least had them registered in his family.  

interesting! it was niggling that it was something perhaps important. so thanks for pointing out @Kfan7172 wonder if the girls will still be able to claim since they are his blood even if not registered in the family. maybe MH will show that he got it before the dad's death and therefore they can't claim it or something. A question for folks ~ why do the girls have different last names? were the girls registered under different parents? HK under mom and YK under the dad? so if YK alone is registered, then would that mean only YK can claim from the wealth of the patent? 

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@Lmangla: ---

Sorry. I forgot how often that particular sweet little prince is used in Kdrama  (actually, a worldwide favorite ).

 I had in mind the much more evil prince from the book Machiavelli wrote in the 16th century in Italy, "The Prince".  Considered the textbook of every dirty trick a ruler needs to know to keep the people in line and to stay on the throne!  

The basic idea was that "the end justifies the means" --- anything goes!  Sounds like Seol Ri, doesn't it?     

PS:... I had to "Google" him to get the date right.  But "The Prince"  and his ideas for rulers were woven into a recent drama I liked a lot:...Heard It Through the Grapevine" (SBS, 2015).    

EDIT: --- Note to HK:... OK to take back JJH!  (see pictures by @irilight, above). Think twice about taking JE back too easily!                      

thanks for the explanation @mdj101 ; yes, SR does sound like the "end justifies the means" kind of person which is why I can totally see her having an alliance with TS and even having an affair with him if needed. kekeke.... but a question, was the prince in the story confident and ruthless? TS said a villain is a villain and there is no kind villain but there seems to be quite a difference between TS and SR...

for me, TS comes across as a sort of kind villain in that I find him cartoonish at times in his interactions with JR and even amusing. there is genuine love and affection in the way he interacts with his brother, Dr and he wants the best for his kid brother and is proud of his achievements. even though he thinks he killed off HK, it is interesting that he visited her mother all these four years without fail and was kind to her in a way that she appreciated it. was it guilt? it is not like he would gain anything from those visits. so why did he do it? even the way he interacted with YK's grandma, there was a respect and kindness. so TS comes across as a character that is driven to do bad things but he still has a conscious and so it makes him more human. when he told MH that we have to keep going till we reach the deserted island or drown in the process, we have no choice -- it sounded sad and desperate.

SR on the other hand comes across as a cold villain who can be super ruthless even though we have yet to see her claws. she is glad to know that HK is dead and smiles. she is strategizing and trying to figure out her next moves with the family... as JR says, if all they had was a pharmacy store, would SR still stick around?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

watching BS, am hopeful as he was able to admit to YK at least that he was in love with a woman who belongs to another.

WELL HK DOES NOT BELONG TO JE ANYMORE  ...THEY SIGNED THE DIVORCE REMEMBER?JE MOM SAID TO JR THEY WERE DIVORCED FOR 4 YEARS ...FOR ME SHE IS FREE...JE MUST FIGHT FOR HER...BS IS READY TO LET HER CHOOSE...WHEN SHE WILL REMEMBER WHAT A JERK JE WAS I THINK JE WILL HAVE TO LET HER CHOOSE IF SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO HIM...THINGS WON'T BE EASY FOR JE ...AND THERE IS THE PAST ...THEIR FATHERS ...

you are right @andy78; while watching BS say he loves a wife of another, was nodding my head and thinking "finally!" instead of saying wait, they are divorced... so had to think about it and the context of other characters and here's my thought ~ while they are legally divorced, neither of them are emotionally divorced from each other and this is recognized by most of the characters within the drama. it is more like the legalities of the divorced happened because of the emotional estrangement but the divorce itself wasn't emotionally final for the couple and by extension, the other characters. (think this is why am not finding the actions of the other characters weird)

if we think about it, it is bizarre behaviour for a wife to agree to her ex-father-in-law's suggestion to go to another country to wait it out for JE's anger to cool and then come back to him when he is more himself. it is ridiculous for papa choi to think that given enough time, JE will accept HK back and she will take her place again as daughter-in-law. it is strange behaviour for HK mama to treat JE with kindness by telling him first that HK has moved on with another man and ask him to be happy. then later, to be gentle with him as he mourns and ask him to burn/throw away her old things -- that is not something you would ask an ex-son-in-law to do, that is what you ask the son-in-law to do because it is his right as her husband. even JE has been constantly saying "this is my wife, I don't care what her name is but this is my wife." even when he breaks up with SR, he tells her that he wants to go back to his wife. even HK recognizes him still as her husband subconsciously which is why her frozen heart woke up after seeing him and she once again felt feelings of being hurt and nervousness.

and because they are not emotionally divorced, all of the other characters are acting like JE and HK are an estranged but still married couple. now even BS recognizes that they are not emotionally divorced which is why HK has woken up and feels like he is the third party. in a way, he is no?

it is like this photo that @irilight posted -- the visual made me think immediately "together but not together..."

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

Great and insightful comments here in pp.204&205.  Feels like we have "freshening, new winds" in our sails, moving all of our "ships" briskly along!  Love the info. from the news article about YK1 answering an ad for a "domestic helper" for a small officetel occupied by i lone woman who spends most of her free time at the Choi residence.  Think we all see what's going down with that little trick by SR!    

Did I choose SR in that Poll?  Darned if I'm sure who I voted for now! 

When will SR admit to herself that she will never have any part of JE? She is so scary!  If only she were not so intelligent!  She uses her youth & beauty to manipulate naive people who are easily fooled by her pleasing manners and seemingly sincere facade.   Machiavelli would have loved her as a Princess to his "Prince"!  A match made in....that other place!

EDIT:... Looking forward to the next episodes with renewed interest now.  But I really want the Writer to show me what went on when  Eon Sol's accident happened.  Somewhere in there may be a key to understanding how JE & HK veered off in different directions.  

             And personally, I want more insight into what the heck JE was thinking  in Episodes 1 to 9.  All I see is a Grade A jerk!  Yet we heard from his mother what a really great guys he was in the early days of their courtship! (when SH had that dementia lapse and talked to SR as if she were HK).

 

@mdj101 ~ what is the story that you are referring to here? is this the french book "little prince"?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

 

 

Ep 20 - BJS visits YK2 at office

BJS: Yong Ki.
YK2: Director, what are you doing here?
BJS: I heard you drank a lot of alcohol. I made some bean sprout soup, so eat some first before you get back to work.Hurry, go wash your hands before it gets cold. Hurry up.
YK2: Yes. Ahh! The soup is so—My stomach feels completely better, Director!
BJS: Have some rice too. That way, you can get rid of your hangover faster.
YK2: Yes.
BJS: My son is having too much of a hard time, Yong Ki. He's dying from the stress. If you abandon him, if you leave him, you'll get hurt in the end, too. Turn it around when you still can, and come back. We'll be waiting. We'll still wait for you. No matter what anyone says, I'll only listen to you, and only believe what you say.We believe in you, Yong Ki.

----------------CR: Viki (screencaps and subs)------------

This scene really makes me mad and speechless. How can you do this, BS-appa? saving someone, taking care of and caring for her doesn't mean she has to repay kindness with her life, and marry your son, right? She's still a sick person, an amnesiac. HELP her recover first, then let her decide. PLEASE! What a burden for YK2 to shoulder,not to mention the guilt and obligation....AISH! Guess all parents are selfish and looking out only for their own?

(Alrighty...good night.)

you are right in that he is thinking like a parent. but at same time, the above line indicates that he thinks that it is early stages, sort of like a passing attraction or a crush, not that she is in love with JE. so he is telling her to turn around while it is still possible and that it is not too far gone for her to leave. she can still come back to them without censure and they will accept her as they believe in her ~ think that is the message he was trying to get across.

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

finally gotten around to watching ep 20... must be one of the few people who is totally buying the story (even JE-HK's strong love for each other) and not feeling like parts of it are weird. (well am having fever right now, maybe thats why?! kekeke.....)

so while watching JR interact with HK, she said that she wished that she had memories to delete as that would be better than not having any memories. made me really think. there are so many embarrassing, stupid incidents that I would like to permanently delete from my memory but even those are part of us and make us who we are in some ways. so if we had no memories, would we still be who we are? would we still have the same personality, the same quirks, love the same man? how much do memories make a person? ~ that is the question of this drama no? 

watching BS, am hopeful as he was able to admit to YK at least that he was in love with a woman who belongs to another. even his stepping away when he hears the same ringtone on JE's phone was a positive step. think he is so much shock and trying to process all the information. once he deals with the emotional fallout, then he will be able to react. thats okay because everyone deals with emotional fallouts in different ways. so am waiting to see how he reacts going forward...

thought it was interesting that JE is still confused about HK/YK2. he said that even though circumstances and everything tells him that it isn't possible, he stills sees his wife in HK. and he is afraid. just as she is. awwww... what a lover's dilemma -- beats the usual noble sacrifice stuff in other dramas no? but it was great that he finally talked to SR -- she obviously thought that he had gotten on his feet and now they can move on, only for her to be told that he would rather be with the ghost... while his explanation was brief, it made sense. he wanted HK out of his life and he wanted to protect himself and SR. but after going in circles, he has realized that even if HK is dead, all he wants is her...

was laughing at HW's mention of the kdrama 'mask' but at the same time, hope no one dies in this drama. that would be too much no?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

so in ep 19, there was a little detail revealed of how the two girls end up getting separated. what did folks make of the story that mama HK revealed to BS? she said that they weren't married but just living together (not sure why but it keeps niggling that this is some important detail that will come back in some form?) and when they split up, they each took one girl. now what do folks think? is it okay to separate siblings like that? and why did they split up? is it because she had an affair with MH? then, how did MH later end up meeting papa HK and pushing him off the mountain (that is what is implied at this stage right?)

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

I have asked this question previously on this forum but didn't get a reply, who taught the Beak siblings how to love as their method of loving the partner's so exhausting on the object of affection and very psychotic, they always want to have object of their affection in their sight and feel uneasy whenever they don't know where they are, even criminals locked up in prison have more breathing space as the prison warden and guards are forever not watching a particular individual compared to people in a relationship with the Beak's. 

I use to think that Beak daddy was normal but even him seems like a freak as I can't understand what he is thinking when he goes to add pressure on HK knowing fully well that she has feeling for JE, is he in his right mind or does he think that as long as he manages to get HK and BS in a committed relationship, the dynamics of the their relationship will automatically change and HK would somehow magically have feeling for BS as if been in a committed relationship has anything to with the feelings between two people.

@oyeleyeolusina ~ am wondering where BS came from in the first place because there is no mention of his mom. so is he also an orphan or someone that the dad adopted? when JE and BS had dinner a few episodes, BS gave this speech about JE needing to protect SR and something about how orphanage kids are insecure because of the abandonment and therefore constantly striving to earn love... if one is secure in oneself, then one doesn't need the constant love and attention of another to feel secure. but neither BS or SR are confident in themselves or that they are people who could be loved for who they are. whatever reason, they have this idea that even to receive love, they have to work at it. hence their psychotic behaviour perhaps. what do others think?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

so watched ep 19 with subs and it felt a bit disjointed. we have the comic scenes with Dr. and YK and then JE having a full on cryfest... but did anyone think that HK became a ghost again in some way while she followed JE around. because she lost her memories and has someone else' identity on her, she has been robbed of her voice and ability to express them -- just like how in the ghost movies, a ghost would follow her lover unable to communicate because they don't belong to the land of the living... so HK is in some ways a shadow no? neither fully in the land of the living and neither in the land of the dead....

love how YK manages to get a reaction out of Dr. even though he is so reluctant.. and was cracking up that the daughter is also reluctant to trust Dr. even though they are both perfectly willing to whine to try and get some food and money from him...

since I havent' watched ep 20 yet, thought BS at least acted with some sense in this episode. finally liked him when he said that if she was being chained to the house because of his feelings and what he did for her, he won't be able to bear it. finally, the man thinks!! because of that, think he won't turn completely evil like SR. even his confession of love made sense in that he is confused and all over the place but he can't stop himself from loving her even though he has no clue who she is actually.. when he comes to terms with who she is, will he let her go? that is the big question.. in the meantime, it is okay for him to be confused ~ we still have 30 odd episodes to fill up!

was really intrigued by what TS said in his chat with dad Choi ~ there is no such thing as a kind villain. a villain is a villain. but is that true? after all we are all flawed and we have both the good and bad. so why would it be strange to have a kind villain? am curious to see if that happens in this drama...... and for TS chat about both of them drowning in the sea together in their attempt to reach a deserted island makes me wonder what will happen to these two.. will their fates be tied together in death? in jail? in humiliation and ruin? to lose women they love?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@jadecloud ~ it makes so much sense that the urn was empty. if TS had to bring back an urn with ashes, customs would have asked all sorts of questions and not to mention paperwork on both sides of the border. HK's death wasn't like officially filled or something right? anyway, getting an empty urn through customs (assuming he got it from china) would be just like bringing a vase or some other curios items... or he could have simply bought an urn, rented a space and put it there...

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

 Let me ask you what you guys think about Hyun Woo ---up to this point in the drama.

DISCLAIMER:---- This man gets on my last nerve!  Then makes it scream out in pain!

IMO he is the most useless character in the "inner circle" of family/friends.  OK....Say he's smart enough to hold a research Position at the School, and  later in CNP Corp. ?

Way worse than BS at picking up clues or seeing the "big picture".  Outside the lab, he hasn't a clue to what's really taking place---not even if you shove it in his face!  So he's JE's "best buddy".  How the heck did that happen?  What does he bring to their relationship?  Not much that I can see!  He moves with the winds of rumor and public opinion.  He's not offered a single bit of helpful advice to JE yet.  Just a teeny, wus-like whimper about how JE should be careful about his reputation, BEFORE SR went after JE and snagged him!

What do you think a real friend might have done so far?  What would you have said to JE  or done for him, as his best friend?

Can you tell I don't like him, so far?               Show me where I'm wrong.

 

actually @mdj101 ~ am not sure HW can do much as a friend; had a friend in uni who was seeing this weirdo. we found their relationship strange and he hated us. we later found out that the reason he hated us was because she used us two girls as a reason to go and see her other male friends that he disapproved of. so she was supposedly hanging out with us and he resented us for using her time while we were sad that she never had the time to hang out with us. what was worse when we realized what was going on, we were forced to lie for her when he called up to ask where she was. how absurd was that right? told her that it didn't look good but she didn't listen to us. finally, before I left uni, told her that it looked emotionally abusive and she defended the relationship. so just left it to her and she didn't keep in touch. heard through another friend that she broke up with him months later...

anyway my point is as a friend, you can only gently tell if you still want to keep the friendship. if you push a too strong opinion, the relationship will fracture/break and both will keep a distance. there is no other way since ultimately, it is your friend's life and they may think of it as interfering... you can only tell but it is up to them to listen or not.

in the same way, HW could only disapprove and shake his head. he didn't blindly cheer their relationship just because JE is a friend. and he did voice his disapproval and being uncomfortable.  but beyond a certain point, he chose to not overstep his boundaries. also the writer has given much very limited screen time and not developed his character as much. so we don't know much about him other than that he is close to JE, brings out the humorous cheeky side to JE, is closer to JE than SR ever was and recognized HK when he saw her. (before he was told that it was YK2)

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

@mdj101

JE is Grand Master of the school of Grief Crying.  With 9th degree black belt in wailing and weeping.

 One of the bones of contention was HK not  even going for her white belt in crying over their daughters death.

JE liked to cry in the garden, and at Charnel houses.  He even asked HK to cry along with  the cicada, at which point she talked about killing them with poison.   The executioner at her best. 

[wanted to respond last night but soompi decided I need to go to bed. kekeke...]

if JE is grand master, then can BS be the student leader? so far, the men seem to be ready to cry than the women in this drama -- SR, HK, YK don't cry unless really pushed and even then, only small drops come out;.. guess they don't drink as much water eh?

[[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요]

okay totally random question ~ but what do folks make of the style of the other characters in the drama? mama choi? JR? mama HK? the doc? TS? papa choi? do the clothes reflect the character? and what do they tell you?