[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요

[lclarakl]

 

 

 

 

You're correct in terms of not sending back a meal at a restaurant when you already came there. If one is concerned about getting food that may be spat on by a waiter or a cook, one shouldn't go to the restaurant in the first place.

 

Hae-gang served her 'beloved' spouse with the toilet water before he had sex with Seol-ri. But even if it'd happened after it, there would have been almost zero possibility of her contracting an STD, as Jin-eon had been rejecting her sexual advances for quite a while, and wasn't interested in her sexually either.

Besides, if you're afraid of contracting an STD, you'd better leave the cheating spouse (just as in the case of a restaurant), instead of holding onto him/her. 

 

Regarding humiliation... Only because something is done by the majority on a daily basis doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. 

It is one thing to put up with abuse when you can't do anything about it but endure, and it's another to face maltreatment on your own accord. There is difference.

And as you said there are always two groups of people… One takes action against the abuser, including for the safety of their kids, while the other chooses to bear anything for fear of being left alone or changing something in their lives. 

By enduring domestic violence, for whatever reason, women enable their maltreaters to dump on them more.

In fact, this is when one should take revenge… But not by serving with toilet water, but by protecting one’s dignity.

If every victim of domestic violence did something about the offenders, instead of deluding themselves into thinking that they’re still loved, there would be less such cases in the world.

You can’t expect anyone to respect you unless you respect yourself. And you shouldn’t expect much of your marriage, if you have to beg for love.

It’s better to be single than hold onto 'family' based on constant fear (of losing incuded), (self-)abasement or selfishness.

 

This is a topic you and I will agree to disagree. I think it has to do with our own experiences.

--I would love to avoid restaurants where people may spit in food, however I wouldn't know that because it's not the restaurant but the individual people working there. And it has been caught on camera happening by employees in some five star restaurants--that's a reality of life and based on facts.

In regards to STDs, no man who is married, should be having sex with another woman because the possibility does exist for pregnancy and diseases entering the marriage. Yes we know that JE wants a divorce, but what if it hadn't happen? Yes the writer is suppose to make them lovers again later when he's married to SR, and I will say again that, although HK will probably be inactive sexually, It doesn't make it right for him to then expose SR to potential pregnancy of another woman or disease; wonder how she will react. I can understand the drastic actions of a woman who has lost her child (a child she carried for 9 months) and is probably still grieving but has to bury that pain in order for it not to consume her, a husband that she can't communicate with and who doesn't want to communicate with her----I have yet to know why he is so angry with her, she even mentioned that his words to her were like him wielding a sword. Her biological clock is ticking and she's invested her best years to this man. Then you see this person that you are trying to connect to cheating with a young woman. Even after the blow up she went to him to talk. 

I can understand this strong woman who has compartmentalized her life, becoming desperate to take control. She is probably very disgusted by his actions and served him a drink fitting of those actions (just like dogs will drink out of the toilet). It wasn't to say to him, you drank toilet water. It was her own way of striking back, letting some of that anger out. At those moments she did hate him. He brought her into the family and life style knowing her ambitions then act like she's the problem. I will say again, she never gave him toilet water until he cheated. She gave him a penalty that fit the crime in her mind.

You mention having dignity and humiliation; both of which requires a level of pride. Depending on that level of pride will determine how much dignity you have and how much humiliation you take. The level that is considered too much and too little is subjective and based on an individual. I've always wondered how disparate do you have to be to stand on a main intersection with a cardboard sign asking people to buy you something to eat or asking for loose coins. Then there are those that will starve to death than be humiliated or lose their 'dignity' by holding a sign asking for help. 

I hated it, but loved it at the same time that HK fought for her marriage and put aside her dignity and pride. It takes a humble and desperate person to beg, but it also shows how important something is to a person. When she finally realized there was no hope, she left. What HK dished out, some of that will be coming back to her later. What others dished out to her, I am hoping the writers dish it out to them as well.  She walked away with her dignity and head held high when she left the home---I'm sure JE will remember it.

One last thing regarding respect--it is subjective and relative..a person who is an exotic dancer may not be respected by more conservative people, but to people who are in that field may be in awe of this dancer and have a lot of respect for their skills. HK's actions of trying to save her marriage doesn't mean she doesn't have respect for herself. She may have needed to do those thins to respect herself for try.

Edited September 17, 2015 by lclarakl

[Guest LHRCN]

ahhh the pictures of HG and BS together with the kids, I am looking for that scene, cant wait to see happy HG smiling. Let's move to another level of the drama.

 

Actor Lee Jae Yoon is added to the casts

He will play Min Tae Suk's brother in the drama. He will have some relationship with both HG and YK, He will play a doctor in the drama???( from google translate)

 

[Lmangla]

 

BTW - I wonder why so many here feel angry at JE for moving ahead with the divorce?  So many have said time and time again, for him to get a divorce instead of being unfaithful in a marriage, and now that he did exactly that, people are still pissed off at him? That leads me to believe they did not really want him to get a divorce. They wanted him to stay in the marriage and be faithful, no matter how miserable he became in this marriage. Also, if that were to happen now - that would be the end of the drama, unless people want to turn it into a happy family drama... 

@irilight ~ was thinking about your question especially in relation to other dramas because this perplexes me as well..  think it is a combination of different reasons

• this drama's main theme is infidelity and marriage breaking up. in other weekend dramas, it is not the major theme. the drama is usually about dysfunctional families and them finding balance in a multitude of relationships at the end. so yea, there is cheating, divorce but it is not the main focus and so no one is getting huffed and puffed about it like here with this drama..so thats why no one was bothered in the scandal thread because the drama was about parent-child relationships
• in thousand days inheritance, the girl divorces her ex and we all heaved a sigh of relief. why? because there was a great looking guy there who we know she can start a romance with, her ex and the family utterly sucked and more importantly, the girl was ready to move on and we want her to.

here, the situation is a bit murky just like any real life marriage in some ways. HK is not ready to move on and frankly, neither is JE. he could have moved out long ago and served her papers. he didn't need to ask her permission to do those two things. but it was like he was waiting for her to cut the strings. have no clue why. since HK is not yet ready to move on and it is not like JE is this horrible horrible person (like in some dramas), some of the audience may not be ready to see them divorce either perhaps... this is one of those marriages that could be saved if both wanted to -- so perhaps, thats why people get mad

[ymiss]

Like seriously, @Lmangla! How long did Jin Eun have that divorce paper for! Why isn't he giving it to Hae Gang yet! What is he waiting for! How long has he been hating on her! Is it since their child died! How long has it been since then! I remember something about a year or what not! Why did he have to wait until Seol Ri came into the picture! I guess that's just how it is! Yeah, sure, Jin Eun!

Talking about pride, dignity! I wouldn't be able to count how many times I had put down dignity in my own marriage to be where I am at the moment!

I'm hardly annoy with characters in dramas! And if I am, I could ignore them! But why am I so annoy with Jin Ri! I don't know if it's her character or the way the actress portrays, acts! But yes, every time, she's on screen, her face annoys, bothers me! I know, I'm hating here! I couldn't help it! Lol!

[Lmangla]

Like seriously, @Lmangla! How long did Jin Eun have that divorce paper for! Why isn't he giving it to Hae Gang yet! What is he waiting for! How long has he been hating on her! Is it since their child died! How long has it been since then! I remember something about a year or what not! Why did he have to wait until Seol Ri came into the picture! I guess that's just how it is! Yeah, sure, Jin Eun!

Talking about pride, dignity! I wouldn't be able to count how many times I had put down dignity in my own marriage to be where I am at the moment!

I'm hardly annoy with characters in dramas! And if I am, I could ignore them! But why am I so annoy with Jin Ri! I don't know if it's her character or the way the actress portrays, acts! But yes, every time, she's on screen, her face annoys, bothers me! I know, I'm hating here! I couldn't help it! Lol!

@ymiss  ~ for me, SR annoys me every time she pouts and tries to act like a kid because she is play acting. was so happy when Jin Ri plainly told her to stop the drama because she knows that she isn't that innocent and immediately SR's face changed. ugh! but yes, Jin Ri is silly but SR is worse! it is funny but in temptation of wife, the mistress character never irritated me even when she was being vindictive and doing all sorts of crazy but this SR does annoy me that I am tempted to fast forward the scene.. but then I wouldn't know what is happening. hahahha!

[Guest brabbit]

Hello everyone! I have been watching this drama as well and it is hard to watch from week to week because I can't wait to see what will happen next! I usually watch dramas that are well into the story line or already completed so that I don't have to wait to see the next episode! Lol I am watching it because of Kim Hyun-Joo which is one of my favorite Korean actresses.  I also like Park Han-Byul as I have seen her act as the main character in One Well Raised Daughter. So seeing Park Han-Byul in this type is role is a first for me. 

In regards to HK, I don't think that the people on the board are trying to imply that she is totally innocent in the situation at hand. Ex. the toilet water. (yuck!!!) Even if she was upset that is just gross. However, I do think that she is a strong woman, but even they have their limits. I think that JE was tired of their marriage because of the miscommunication and the passing of their daughter and felt that he was not getting what he needed from HK emotionally.  I also wish that there was more background information as to how their marriage was or what HK actually did to him in order for him to treat her the way that he did.  It may have been a combination of things who knows. We do know that he had the divorce papers before SR was in the picture, so it seems to me that their marriage was already in grave trouble.  I mean, they were not even sleeping together.  He didn't even like the smell of her presence at one point for goodness sake! 

I believe that the reason a lot of people are upset at JE is because of the cheating or bringing in a 3rd party into the picture when he should have continued to try to resolve the issue of his marriage on his own.  Not only was he cheating, but he did it out in the open and looked as if he had no remorse for his actions and blaming his wife for everything. He got upset with her in the lab without even knowing who sent the pictures.  He even used his job as an excuse to not come home, when he was staying the night as SR's house.  Which to me and a lot of others looks to be weak.  I understand that he did tell HK that he wanted a divorce.  I think that she should have given it to him earlier as well, but somehow being the strong person that she is, thought that she could save their marriage which to me is a natural response for someone in that situation, but by this time she is so mad at him for cheating she can only talk to him with a sharp tongue. She also had not realized that there was nothing she could do because in his eyes they were already over and done with.  I think that once she realized this as well, she became even stronger by setting aside her pride and giving it to him. 

As far as HK getting hers for how she treated JE during the marriage, I feel that she has already gotten it.  Her husband won't hardly talk to her.  She had to suffer the humiliation of him cheating.  She had to see her husband with someone else and suffer through the lies that he told her.  She felt desperate enough to talk to her MIL about it (which I'm sure she hated to do, because I don't think that she even likes her MIL only for the MIL to insult her and take SR's side later), she even got down on her knees to the mistress SR and begged her to leave her husband alone.  She also suffered the humiliation of her husband BEGGING his father to divorce her in front of his family!  There has been a lot of things that she has had to do that would be totally out of character for her in order to save her marriage!

I hope that HK will find her way during this drama, but damn 50 episodes!!! LOL

 

 

 

 

[joojanah]

I think this is the first time I'm posting in this thread *waves*  

 

I think we are forgetting one thing here that nobody is perfect and so is HK..yes she is not respecting her ownself and trying madly to hold on to her gradually estranged husband here...but it's just because it's happening all so fast.Jin eon says he kept loving her while she was being cruel and putting career in the front zone and becoming more money and position oriented..but I wonder how he can just make a comment like that.It'sause he dint attend his father's business and just loitered around his labs with little responsibility towards his family that HK had to get hold of what he could not.His coming to hate HK just dint sound very convincing to me[neither the writer is giving us a good explanation of his reasoning].Does he hate her determination? As he says while she was building her career he kept loving her as he thought she needed the protection..but why he did not preach her then? Where was his good will and conscience at that point of time and now when he has got a comparatively young and supposedly naive girl beside him...he can see HK's young counter part in SR? I don't think when HK sed don't love me too much ..she actually meant it..it was just a tease and nothing else and I think she just loved him as her own all the time.As @iclarakl sed earlier,introvert people find it hard to express what they feel ..but not everyone is good at expressing.Words are not necessarily important when you've stayed with someone for close to 15 years.They should be basically each other's clothes, if not anything else.I like the analogy from@zenya22 ' These 2 have been living together not as a married couple but as roommates with privileges. They say that they both love each other but yet they don’t seem to understand each other'.At this point,even if they broke apart, I think their equation is and would be there, a continuous process,unbreakable and undeniable. Just that,jin eon crossed a line when he went ahead and slept with SR,if HK would have been in her sane mind,she would have broken off this relationship as soon as jin eon entered SR's apartment.Jin Eon should not be left to get away with this,there are so many breach that he has caused  that I've almost forgotten about,that I seriously wish HK gives him some serious payback.

I totally agree and I dislike his character the most. I even understand SR being who she is. He only loved the person he had in his head. He has never grown and he was never man enough to love HK. Like his father said he is an irresponsible son of a richard simmons.  She loved him, in her own way and everything of him. And this is her response to his affair, anger. Very understandable. I am not sure I would not do the same thing. JE is the kind of person who will throw anyone under the bus. I am clean you are dirty. What a load of crap. I hope that they never end up back together. JE and SR good for them.  They deserve each other. Now he has his "pretty, young and innocent" ideal woman. I can't wait to see JE have a drag out fight with his sister and brother in law. That bother in law has something on his father and the father is afraid. Let us see how good and innocent JE will be. That BIL and sister will ground him and that father will never be satisfied with him no matter what he does. The mother will be caught in between. And the pretty young thing he dragged to that house will be hairless after the sister is done with her. 

Yes, especially to the bolded part. It comes across as if he always only loved the nice, kind Hae Kang he had in his head and as soon as she shows something different (the way she dealt with pain internalizing it) he can't handle it. Sure you're a good guy but you didn't have to deal with your dad's company for __ years to harden you and make you ruthless, you could just play around in your little lab to your heart's content. And I believe it will be the same with Seol Ri. He just wants an "easy" love it seems, so Seol Ri better not lose her shine and remain peppy, cutesy and cheerful even when she's thrown all the pressure that comes with marrying into his family, or else she'll be thrown to the curb as soon as another youthful, optimistic woman shows up.

One thing I like about the show is that they didn't make Hae Kang into a saint just to turn her into the perfect flawless victim for the viewer to pity, so although I side with her in the whole cheating business I also like that there's room for character growth.

I feel Hae Kang's pain deeply but frankly the sooner she's out of that house the better, Jin Eon and Seol Ri can have each other for all I care. It's not like their path will be roses and sunshine from now on anyway.

Edited September 17, 2015 by joojanah

[nearsea]

brabbit I agree,waiting for each week is too much bothersome, especially as you have to disintegrate from the story line and then get involved again,I kind of keep it on stock just because I know I'd be too much anxious when they end at cliffhanger each time lol.Also love kim hyon joo too! Started watching because of her,but she's killing the rude and angsty role of Hae Kang.Last episode was also too painful to watch with the plotting of m-i-l and s-i-l.Considering this is a 50 ep drama,I guess we still have lots of torturing to keep up with =/. 

[Guest brabbit]

nearsea yes, the last episode was ohhhh so painful, but I was so relieved when she finally gave him the divorce that he wanted so badly. I respected her a lot for that. It's going to be a long and exciting ride, and the rest of the stories in this drama are pretty interesting as well. This drama does have a lot of depth to it.  Oh the torture!!!!! It is just too good though.  HK and YK Fighting!!

[ayselluna]

 

This is a topic you and I will agree to disagree. I think it has to do with our own experiences.

--I would love to avoid restaurants where people may spit in food, however I wouldn't know that because it's not the restaurant but the individual people working there. And it has been caught on camera happening by employees in some five star restaurants--that's a reality of life and based on facts.

In regards to STDs, no man who is married, should be having sex with another woman because the possibility does exist for pregnancy and diseases entering the marriage. Yes we know that JE wants a divorce, but what if it hadn't happen? Yes the writer is suppose to make them lovers again later when he's married to SR, and I will say again that, although HK will probably be inactive sexually, It doesn't make it right for him to then expose SR to potential pregnancy of another woman or disease; wonder how she will react. I can understand the drastic actions of a woman who has lost her child (a child she carried for 9 months) and is probably still grieving but has to bury that pain in order for it not to consume her, a husband that she can't communicate with and who doesn't want to communicate with her----I have yet to know why he is so angry with her, she even mentioned that his words to her were like him wielding a sword. Her biological clock is ticking and she's invested her best years to this man. Then you see this person that you are trying to connect to cheating with a young woman. Even after the blow up she went to him to talk. 

I can understand this strong woman who has compartmentalized her life, becoming desperate to take control. She is probably very disgusted by his actions and served him a drink fitting of those actions (just like dogs will drink out of the toilet). It wasn't to say to him, you drank toilet water. It was her own way of striking back, letting some of that anger out. At those moments she did hate him. He brought her into the family and life style knowing her ambitions then act like she's the problem. I will say again, she never gave him toilet water until he cheated. She gave him a penalty that fit the crime in her mind.

You mention having dignity and humiliation; both of which requires a level of pride. Depending on that level of pride will determine how much dignity you have and how much humiliation you take. The level that is considered too much and too little is subjective and based on an individual. I've always wondered how disparate do you have to be to stand on a main intersection with a cardboard sign asking people to buy you something to eat or asking for loose coins. Then there are those that will starve to death than be humiliated or lose their 'dignity' by holding a sign asking for help. 

I hated it, but loved it at the same time that HK fought for her marriage and put aside her dignity and pride. It takes a humble and desperate person to beg, but it also shows how important something is to a person. When she finally realized there was no hope, she left. What HK dished out, some of that will be coming back to her later. What others dished out to her, I am hoping the writers dish it out to them as well.  She walked away with her dignity and head held high when she left the home---I'm sure JE will remember it.

One last thing regarding respect--it is subjective and relative..a person who is an exotic dancer may not be respected more conservative people, but to people who are in that field may be in awe of this dancer and have a lot of respect for their skills. HK's actions of trying to save her marriage doesn't mean she doesn't have respect for herself. She may have needed to do those thins to respect herself for try.

 

You can’t fully trust anyone in the world, as even your own shadow abandons you in the dark, leave alone restaurant or other employees. But this is life, and we either should try to change it or accept it.

 

If despite being disgusted by his actions, a wife still wants to hold onto the cheating spouse, she should at least leave some space for respect.

 

It’s obvious that if she succeeds in saving the marriage, she’ll again have to fulfill her marital duties, filling his sexual needs included. If so, then how can she let the toilet water touch the lips she’s still going to kiss, unless she decides against kissing like prostitutes are said to? (they're fine with sex, but aren't okay with kissing on the lips)

 

There is this saying, which I totally agree with “Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours”.

 

And it is all the more important if she plans to bear his child, whom she is supposed to teach respect (including to father), unless she intends to teach him hypocrisy.

 

However, if there is nothing but hatred and despise towards the partner, one should leave or let go.

 

I wonder how many glasses of toilet water Hae-gang would have to drink if all the people she made suffer by her immoral work attitude found such penalty fitting her crimes...

 

As concerns pride etc., for me, a person that holds a sign asking for help is neither humiliated nor stripped of dignity, since it must be deep despair that drives him to do  it. In contrast, Hae-gang has acted purely out of egoistic motives (forcibly trying to attach Jin-eon to herself).

 

Edited September 17, 2015 by ayselluna

[nearsea]

 

 

 

 

You're correct in terms of not sending back a meal at a restaurant when you already came there. If one is concerned about getting food that may be spat on by a waiter or a cook, one shouldn't go to the restaurant in the first place.

 

Hae-gang served her 'beloved' spouse with the toilet water before he had sex with Seol-ri. But even if it'd happened after it, there would have been almost zero possibility of her contracting an STD, as Jin-eon had been rejecting her sexual advances for quite a while, and wasn't interested in her sexually either.

Besides, if you're afraid of contracting an STD, you'd better leave the cheating spouse (just as in the case of a restaurant), instead of holding onto him/her. 

 

Regarding humiliation... Only because something is done by the majority on a daily basis doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. 

It is one thing to put up with abuse when you can't do anything about it but endure, and it's another to face maltreatment on your own accord. There is difference.

And as you said there are always two groups of people… One takes action against the abuser, including for the safety of their kids, while the other chooses to bear anything for fear of being left alone or changing something in their lives. 

By enduring domestic violence, for whatever reason, women enable their maltreaters to dump on them more.

In fact, this is when one should take revenge… But not by serving with toilet water, but by protecting one’s dignity.

If every victim of domestic violence did something about the offenders, instead of deluding themselves into thinking that they’re still loved, there would be less such cases in the world.

You can’t expect anyone to respect you unless you respect yourself. And you shouldn’t expect much of your marriage, if you have to beg for love.

It’s better to be single than hold onto 'family' based on constant fear (of losing incuded), (self-)abasement or selfishness.

 

This is a topic you and I will agree to disagree. I think it has to do with our own experiences.

--I would love to avoid restaurants where people may spit in food, however I wouldn't know that because it's not the restaurant but the individual people working there. And it has been caught on camera happening by employees in some five star restaurants--that's a reality of life and based on facts.

In regards to STDs, no man who is married, should be having sex with another woman because the possibility does exist for pregnancy and diseases entering the marriage. Yes we know that JE wants a divorce, but what if it hadn't happen? Yes the writer is suppose to make them lovers again later when he's married to SR, and I will say again that, although HK will probably be inactive sexually, It doesn't make it right for him to then expose SR to potential pregnancy of another woman or disease; wonder how she will react. I can understand the drastic actions of a woman who has lost her child (a child she carried for 9 months) and is probably still grieving but has to bury that pain in order for it not to consume her, a husband that she can't communicate with and who doesn't want to communicate with her----I have yet to know why he is so angry with her, she even mentioned that his words to her were like him wielding a sword. Her biological clock is ticking and she's invested her best years to this man. Then you see this person that you are trying to connect to cheating with a young woman. Even after the blow up she went to him to talk. 

I can understand this strong woman who has compartmentalized her life, becoming desperate to take control. She is probably very disgusted by his actions and served him a drink fitting of those actions (just like dogs will drink out of the toilet). It wasn't to say to him, you drank toilet water. It was her own way of striking back, letting some of that anger out. At those moments she did hate him. He brought her into the family and life style knowing her ambitions then act like she's the problem. I will say again, she never gave him toilet water until he cheated. She gave him a penalty that fit the crime in her mind.

You mention having dignity and humiliation; both of which requires a level of pride. Depending on that level of pride will determine how much dignity you have and how much humiliation you take. The level that is considered too much and too little is subjective and based on an individual. I've always wondered how disparate do you have to be to stand on a main intersection with a cardboard sign asking people to buy you something to eat or asking for loose coins. Then there are those that will starve to death than be humiliated or lose their 'dignity' by holding a sign asking for help. 

I hated it, but loved it at the same time that HK fought for her marriage and put aside her dignity and pride. It takes a humble and desperate person to beg, but it also shows how important something is to a person. When she finally realized there was no hope, she left. What HK dished out, some of that will be coming back to her later. What others dished out to her, I am hoping the writers dish it out to them as well.  She walked away with her dignity and head held high when she left the home---I'm sure JE will remember it.

One last thing regarding respect--it is subjective and relative..a person who is an exotic dancer may not be respected more conservative people, but to people who are in that field may be in awe of this dancer and have a lot of respect for their skills. HK's actions of trying to save her marriage doesn't mean she doesn't have respect for herself. She may have needed to do those thins to respect herself for try.

You're right.It takes a lots of effort to keep your pride on hold and 'beg' for a chance,and not a simple thing to do in any way.I was wondering how long would she keep doing this.How unabashedly she opened up to jin eon and pleaded for one more chance,also endured SR and her brash attitudes.Those moments there,also kind of showed how naive and honest but foolish she has been.All that she's done,like the demeaning but childish way she infected the toothbrush or the bottled water,it explains her behavior pattern,that she swallows her pain and patiently waits for it to end.Says things like you go and have the affair,I will wait here.I've tried to understand her,what is going inside her mind,and I've come to the conclusion that even though she's done lots of scheming,lots of vicious things for the sake of her cases,but despite all of that,something was intact in her heart,and that was jin eon.So,like the last straw of hope she gave up her dignity and made all the claims to jin eon,as she saw nothing shameful or embarrassing in those appeals,as she considered him her own.I see it like this,like we don't confess the biggest weakness to some outsider,we share it with friends,or family.Likewise,jin eon was HK's family.So,she dint hesitate to go all the way even if the limit of dignity has been crossed.

[Lmangla]

brabbit I agree,waiting for each week is too much bothersome, especially as you have to disintegrate from the story line and then get involved again,I kind of keep it on stock just because I know I'd be too much anxious when they end at cliffhanger each time lol.Also love kim hyon joo too! Started watching because of her,but she's killing the rude and angsty role of Hae Kang.Last episode was also too painful to watch with the plotting of m-i-l and s-i-l.Considering this is a 50 ep drama,I guess we still have lots of torturing to keep up with =/. 

on the plus side, we will probably grow fond of each other on this thread as we get to hang out for 6 months!! ....well, if we don't dissolve into all out war like it happens in some threads, but keeping fingers crossed, we will be cheerful and enjoy the ride!

[ymiss]

I see what you're saying, @ayselluna! How did the writer even came up with the toilet water! No matter how mad, angry, betray Hae Gang felt, she could of use words, destroy some furniture in their house or something to release stress instead unless like you said, she will divorce him and is making him pay before leaving! But she held on, trying to save her marriage after scrubbing his toothbrush in the toilet and giving him toilet water! Hmmm! Both Jin Eun and Hae Gang are kind of confusing! What do they really want! Lol!

Even if I didn't give my husband toilet water, I don't think I would kiss him after he kissed another woman!

It's hard to say! Does words or actions hurt more!

[nearsea]

@Lmangla absolutely ..I love having these conversations with you all as much as watching the drama =]].

[andy78]

http://www.kdramastars.com/articles/97490/20150916/adultery-in-i-have-a-lover-upsets-viewers.htm

[zenya22]

Actor Lee Jae Yoon is added to the casts

He will play Min Tae Suk's brother in the drama. He will have some relationship with both HG and YK, He will play a doctor in the drama???( from google translate)

@LHRCN  Thank you!!!!

Oh ho ho ho, I am liking it, now we got one manly man, I was hoping he will play the dead husband come alive but ok, will he end up with YK and HK with BS or the other way around? More intrigues. Crossing fingers!!!!

Edited September 17, 2015 by zenya22

[zenya22]

brabbit I agree,waiting for each week is too much bothersome, especially as you have to disintegrate from the story line and then get involved again,I kind of keep it on stock just because I know I'd be too much anxious when they end at cliffhanger each time lol.Also love kim hyon joo too! Started watching because of her,but she's killing the rude and angsty role of Hae Kang.Last episode was also too painful to watch with the plotting of m-i-l and s-i-l.Considering this is a 50 ep drama,I guess we still have lots of torturing to keep up with =/. 

on the plus side, we will probably grow fond of each other on this thread as we get to hang out for 6 months!! ....well, if we don't dissolve into all out war like it happens in some threads, but keeping fingers crossed, we will be cheerful and enjoy the ride!

HK already moved on left them horrid family and JE moved on and in to the house of horrors so....am following their example and moving on. One hottie guy is in the show and anticipating, what role will he play in the life of the twins?

[-jade-]

Actor Lee Jae Yoon is added to the casts

He will play Min Tae Suk's brother in the drama. He will have some relationship with both HG and YK, He will play a doctor in the drama???( from google translate)

@LHRCN  Thank you!!!!

Oh ho ho ho, I am liking it, now we got one manly man, I was hoping he will play the dead husband come alive but ok, will he end up with YK and HK with BS or the other way around? More intrigues. Crossing fingers!!!!

@LHRCN  Thank you too  I really like this new addition. It's been a long time since I last saw LJY in a drama. And I have yet to complete H2H due to hearing some 'unhappy ending', @zenya22 I too wonder what role he will be playing. Sure is a welcome addition since we are all eyeballed out over JE+SR's blatant adulterous affair, and HK+JE's messed up marriage/divorce.

 

@Lmangla absolutely ..I love having these conversations with you all as much as watching the drama =]].

Hehe...me too @Lmangla @nearsea 

I see some newbies....*waves* hello and welcome to all  

Have been away from this thread just for a couple of days and wow, the discussion seems to be heating up and getting very interesting. Gonna backtrack some now. Can't wait for new ep. 

[zenya22]

 

This is a topic you and I will agree to disagree. I think it has to do with our own experiences.

--I would love to avoid restaurants where people may spit in food, however I wouldn't know that because it's not the restaurant but the individual people working there. And it has been caught on camera happening by employees in some five star restaurants--that's a reality of life and based on facts.

In regards to STDs, no man who is married, should be having sex with another woman because the possibility does exist for pregnancy and diseases entering the marriage. Yes we know that JE wants a divorce, but what if it hadn't happen? Yes the writer is suppose to make them lovers again later when he's married to SR, and I will say again that, although HK will probably be inactive sexually, It doesn't make it right for him to then expose SR to potential pregnancy of another woman or disease; wonder how she will react. I can understand the drastic actions of a woman who has lost her child (a child she carried for 9 months) and is probably still grieving but has to bury that pain in order for it not to consume her, a husband that she can't communicate with and who doesn't want to communicate with her----I have yet to know why he is so angry with her, she even mentioned that his words to her were like him wielding a sword. Her biological clock is ticking and she's invested her best years to this man. Then you see this person that you are trying to connect to cheating with a young woman. Even after the blow up she went to him to talk. 

I can understand this strong woman who has compartmentalized her life, becoming desperate to take control. She is probably very disgusted by his actions and served him a drink fitting of those actions (just like dogs will drink out of the toilet). It wasn't to say to him, you drank toilet water. It was her own way of striking back, letting some of that anger out. At those moments she did hate him. He brought her into the family and life style knowing her ambitions then act like she's the problem. I will say again, she never gave him toilet water until he cheated. She gave him a penalty that fit the crime in her mind.

You mention having dignity and humiliation; both of which requires a level of pride. Depending on that level of pride will determine how much dignity you have and how much humiliation you take. The level that is considered too much and too little is subjective and based on an individual. I've always wondered how disparate do you have to be to stand on a main intersection with a cardboard sign asking people to buy you something to eat or asking for loose coins. Then there are those that will starve to death than be humiliated or lose their 'dignity' by holding a sign asking for help. 

I hated it, but loved it at the same time that HK fought for her marriage and put aside her dignity and pride. It takes a humble and desperate person to beg, but it also shows how important something is to a person. When she finally realized there was no hope, she left. What HK dished out, some of that will be coming back to her later. What others dished out to her, I am hoping the writers dish it out to them as well.  She walked away with her dignity and head held high when she left the home---I'm sure JE will remember it.

One last thing regarding respect--it is subjective and relative..a person who is an exotic dancer may not be respected more conservative people, but to people who are in that field may be in awe of this dancer and have a lot of respect for their skills. HK's actions of trying to save her marriage doesn't mean she doesn't have respect for herself. She may have needed to do those thins to respect herself for try.

You're right.It takes a lots of effort to keep your pride on hold and 'beg' for a chance,and not a simple thing to do in any way.I was wondering how long would she keep doing this.How unabashedly she opened up to jin eon and pleaded for one more chance,also endured SR and her brash attitudes.Those moments there,also kind of showed how naive and honest but foolish she has been.All that she's done,like the demeaning but childish way she infected the toothbrush or the bottled water,it explains her behavior pattern,that she swallows her pain and patiently waits for it to end.Says things like you go and have the affair,I will wait here.I've tried to understand her,what is going inside her mind,and I've come to the conclusion that even though she's done lots of scheming,lots of vicious things for the sake of her cases,but despite all of that,something was intact in her heart,and that was jin eon.So,like the last straw of hope she gave up her dignity and made all the claims to jin eon,as she saw nothing shameful or embarrassing in those appeals,as she considered him her own.I see it like this,like we don't confess the biggest weakness to some outsider,we share it with friends,or family.Likewise,jin eon was HK's family.So,she dint hesitate to go all the way even if the limit of dignity has been crossed.

It is said that the degree of how much you loved will equal the degree of how much anger you feel or how much you hate. As you do many things for love, you will also do for hate. If she just coolly walked away then the question becomes how much of herself was invested in that relationship and vice versa.

Edited September 18, 2015 by zenya22

[zenya22]

@jadecloud... you got to complete H2H, I loved that drama.