[Drama 2015] My Love Eun-dong 사랑하는 은동아

[thegoldbug]

@QuercusL it's such a hard thing to wrap ones head around.  If I had amnesia and found out everything as I knew it was a lie my initial reaction would be disbelief.  Once I had settled the fact that those closest to me fed me lies around an illusion they purposely created (I'm going with the scenario that it's irrefutable that's what transpired) to deceive me I would feel extremely violated.  I would never be able to trust any of those people again and feel enraged that I was kept from things that might be familiar to me for the past ten years to keep my past hidden from me.

I would want to physically separate myself from the people that deceived me in order to facilitate the return of my memories.

Regarding any children I would explain to the children that mommy and daddy were going to live apart, I would not tell them about the deception, just that mommy and daddy needed to live apart so mommy could get her memories back.  I would allowed limited controlled visitation with the father at least initially. 

At some point the children would be old enough to be cognizant of the fact that something happened or figure it out on there own.  At that time I would answer their questions as honestly and gently as possible.  I would try not to paint the father and grandparents as monsters regardless of my personal anger, just explain that they were misguided.  I would not force myself to stayed married to my husband or maintain a relationship with the adoptive parents (maybe the mother if she facilitated my finding out).  Regardless of how kind or good of a father the husband was I would personally not be able to get past such an exploitation of my amnesia.

Obviously it's hard to know for certain unless your in the situation but that's how I feel I would react.

Great Question!

[wolanah]

If it happens to me, I would exactly react as @mdj101, fight or flight first then I'll start thinking back about the mess that happened. But now, it's not me but ED, noticed that *thankfully* she didn't change at all, she's still witty and disobedient as before (I'm positive she'll have her affair with Eunho) as for all the lies gravitating around her, it doesn't seem like she'll take it lightly, she's still a mystery as RI is in the middle and obviously loves his father (false)... Hum, kinda lost.

As for RI, he seems happy with his father but something is obviously missing in his new Korea's life, will he gain some smiles around EH's company or Hyunah's daughter (Mina)? I don't know. 

But don't forget that according to @seungshinl's translation, Eundong's adoptive mother will take some action. We already know that Eunho is here to make her remember about Eundong maybe her mother will be the one telling her the story about Jungeun? The one that Eunho isn't aware of.

(Still want to know why Jungeun lied to Hyunsoo and gave him her pre-adopted name, instead of Jungeun..)

[dimples21]

@QuercusL - This is a very tough and heart wrenching questions. How are expected to feel and react when your entire world you have known for the past ten years is a lie.

Betrayal , hurt, anger, frustration  and lost of trust for the people who I believe in and  trusted. Someone has to convince me beyond a shadow of a doubt why it was so important to keep me in the dark. Who we they protecting. Was it life or  death. Even if at the beginning they thought it was best for me why at some point, someone, mom dad didn't say enough is enough it's time to reveal the truth.

I don't think I could ever trust those people again. No matter what they said or did I would not believe them. Oh husband I would definitely divorce me because I truly believe that people who love and care for me  should be honest with me. It might hurt at first, but eventually I would have gotten over it.
I would hurt more for my child. He / she is also a victim. It would be hard for him/her  but I would tell him the reason why, mom and dad can no longer be together again.

The relationship between my now ex-husband and myself would no longer exist, I don't care if you are a good man. Once  you betray my trust no going back for me.

My parents are my parent but the relationship would not be the same. It probably would be strained at best.  I would still love them but I would never trust them again which is a very sad and hard thing to do.

[QuercusL]

@mdj101 and thegoldbug~~~

Thank you very much for answering my question with such great analyses! 

I agreed with both you. If I discovered my marriage turned to be a lie and the husband had been toking advantage of my amnesia, it would be difficult for me to stay in the marriage.  I thought it might be the case for Eun-Dong, too.   The existence of Eun-Ho may not be a real issue for her marriage, but deception is.  

[shamrockmom]

@QuercusL--Wow, so many things to consider.

For me, the initial shock would be pretty bad. I would definitely want a deception of this magnitude confirmed or denied by multiple sources, so I would be talking to a lot of people around me, even as I separated from the husband and parents who did this to me. Due to the shock, I don't think I would yell or rage for a few days--but after it sunk in and I had some time to think everything over, that's when the temper would take over! I would want my son with me too--no way am I going to trust the parents or husband ever again. If he's 10, and mature for his age, I'd probably be pretty upfront, telling him what facts I do know, and that more information/confirmation is needed. Then when I had all the info, I'd tell him everything. No more secrets--they're always toxic. Honestly, whether he's HS/EH's son, Jae Ho's son, or an adopted son--he would still be my son. I would want to protect him more than anything, but not at the cost of further deception or withholding information. If my son wanted to have a relationship with any of them, it would be on hold until son becomes an adult and can make his own decision. 

That level of lying and deception is not easily forgivable, so a divorce would be a given. The relationship between me and the parents would be in the same category. 

[valsava]

@valsava:...

I found your answer to be very calming by reason of its BREVITY alone!    I see that my reaction is far from composed.  More like running around madly in circles, but looking calm on the outside.  

May I come over to your place for a few days, until I work  it  all out?

@mdj101,  Be my guest I have a 6 man sleeper tent there's plenty of room.. So bring your bag and bad over the water is fine..  This is all ED can do right now before they try and declare her crazy and have her admitted to try and erase them again.. So going off on the deep end won't work in her favor until she has regained all her memories and have all the facts of all parties involved.. I would never forgive my adopted dad or mom for what they done and I would certainly stop them from having any contact with my family and since dad wanted her with JH so much together she could threaten to divorce him if she finds out he's in contact with any of them..     

[valsava]

If it happens to me, I would exactly react as @mdj101, fight or flight first then I'll start thinking back about the mess that happened. But now, it's not me but ED, noticed that *thankfully* she didn't change at all, she's still witty and disobedient as before (I'm positive she'll have her affair with Eunho) as for all the lies gravitating around her, it doesn't seem like she'll take it lightly, she's still a mystery as RI is in the middle and obviously loves his father (false)... Hum, kinda lost.

As for RI, he seems happy with his father but something is obviously missing in his new Korea's life, will he gain some smiles around EH's company or Hyunah's daughter (Mina)? I don't know. 

But don't forget that according to @seungshinl's translation, Eundong's adoptive mother will take some action. We already know that Eunho is here to make her remember about Eundong maybe her mother will be the one telling her the story about Jungeun? The one that Eunho isn't aware of.

(Still want to know why Jungeun lied to Hyunsoo and gave him her pre-adopted name, instead of Jungeun..)

@salijoo   At this point ED can't trust any of them and adopted mom is no better because she could have  put a stop to the mind erase thing before it happen and that might have stop the big accident from happening she's also guilty but I find it amazing that after 10 years of marriage she feels some kind of guilt I don't buy it so giving her a little justification don't fly with me she should be up on criminal charges right along with her husband.. 

Just think guy's marriage vowels says for better or worst sickness and in health for rich or for poor.. In ED case none of this applies because her marriage was build on deception from the beginning.. All I hear everyone saying how nice JH is supposed to be and have been I find nothing nice about him at all.. In this situation I don't know how I would react but the rage will be screaming to come out of me but I would never have anything to do with the people that feed me that BS all those years just to better they lives..     

[wolanah]

credits: https://www.facebook.com/eundonglove?fref=ts 

[seungshin]

It is so nice to see so many new friends here!  Wave wave!  

I have a question for you. If you were Eun-Dong and you discovered that your husband has been feeding your lies about your marriage.  What would you do?   Just curious :)!  Thank you for your insights in advance. 

Thank you for the question and love reading all the responses.

Married for 15 years my husband and I have come to agree 'trust' is the most important thing in a marriage.  Even a well intended white lie to mitigate a bad situation or to 'protect' someone requires a deep reflection. We reveal everything and it does require work actually because things in life are often shades of grey.  But at the end of the day trust has to rule.

So for me, this is no brainer.  But this particular situation with Eun Dong's 'marriage' I don't even think this question applies since no marriage exists in this relationship at all.  I don't believe she is legally married to Jae Ho, on paper or in conjugal relationship.

When Eun Dong gets her memory back she's going to look at Jae Ho and say who are you and what are you doing in my home (or in my bed or in my life)?

That said, based on the synopsis and the episodes we've seen so far I don't believe Jae Ho or even Eun Dong's parents planned to deceive Eun Don and set up her fake life.  I believe the parents made decisions following the accident and her loss of memory believing they were doing what was best for her and certainly with the best interest of Jae Ho on their minds first and foremost. The result is still a massive deception on their part.

I believe Jae Ho met up with Eun Dong in Episode 2 when she went to get help for Hyun Soo.  He was watching them.  Jae Ho confronted her about Hyun Soo and he got her in the car.  He might have been angry or out of his mind and ran the red lights.  He becomes paralyzed and she loses her memory from the shock of the accident.

After the accident, probably during treatment, her father learns she's pregnant. He knows nothing about Eun Dong's deep connection with Hyun Soo.  Eun Dong probably couldn't remember or say anything about it. Jae Ho would have known this is not his child.  I don't know if he tells Eun Dong's parents this (may be he lied and told him it was his and that's where the lie about him 'turning the handle' to save his pregnant wife come from) or not but what Eun Don'g father had was a pregnant 23 year old woman with no memory and a 25 year old former elite baseball athlete who's paralyzed from waste down who will never be able to have a proper marriage (unless he's miraculously cured).

We heard Eun Dong's mom asking her husband if he would have done what he did if Eun Dong was his biological child.  This is saying to me Eun Dong's father thought of Jae Ho more as his son, most definitely more so than he ever thought of Eun Dong's as her daughter.   (Adoption is not common in Korea and it's widely accepted adopted children are rarely treated like their own children, so this is not exception).

Jae Ho was Eun Dong's father's best athlete.  He would have been devastated at seeing his life in ruins from his perspective. I don't think he received financial gains for this. He was already made a elite coach before this happened.  I am not being sympathetic to Eun Dong's fathers decisions at all here.  I'm only trying to see it from their point of view.  

So the parents decided the best thing was to have Jae Ho and Eun Dong be 'married' to each other and raise 'their' child.  Voila, everything taken care of.  Jae Ho gets a marriage and family, Eun Dong gets a father for her child. 

Even if they went through some kind of a wedding ceremony or signed a legal paper, it would not be a legal marriage since Eun Dong lacks capacity to make such a decision.  If she never gains memory no question will be asked but when she does everything will become null and void.  And we know most definitely Eun Dong and Jae Ho have not had a conjugal relationship (Jae Ho asking if he can be a man in EP 6 makes this point) which is a requirement to constitute a legal marriage in most countries.  

I believe Eun Dong's mother will come clean and do it in the way that will help Eun Dong understand how it happened.  Not that it is right but why the parents did it.  And Eun Dong being a saint she will try to accept and forgive but move on with Eun Ho.

I don't believe Jae Ho's mother knows any of this.  She believes the story Eun Dong's parents made up.

Jae Ho is not innocent here of course.  He went along with Eun Dong's father because he 'loved' Eun Dong. "I am sorry I love you" (EP 5).  I think he will accept also that he has to give up the fake marriage.  Even if he didn't he doesn't stand a chance against the force of the 'frightening fate' between Eun Dong and Eun Ho anyway.

At the end of EP 6, Eun Ho is in such shock from meeting up with Eun Dong he can't even think straight.  But it will click like it did with the song from their first kiss.  And he will start raising questions and he will get to the bottom of the facts anyway I feel. He will figure out Ra Il is his son.  And he will figure out what they've done to Eun Dong.  

 

[-jade-]

I see the discussion is heating up. So happy to see more peeps joining in. A big welcome to all - @shirley @greenwood96 @shamrockmom @docster6 @all. And @salijoo happy to see you back   

 

Just think guy's marriage vowels says for better or worst sickness and in health for rich or for poor.. In ED case none of this applies because her marriage was build on deception from the beginning.. All I hear everyone saying how nice JH is supposed to be and have been I find nothing nice about him at all.. In this situation I don't know how I would react but the rage will be screaming to come out of me but I would never have anything to do with the people that feed me that BS all those years just to better they lives..     

@valsava High five there, buddy  

Yes, I too can't help wondering why all the talk of Jae Ho being a nice man, a good father, a loving husband, and so on. For the deception he has done, whether it originated from his scheme or adoptive dad Seo, just for him to live that lie for the past ten years, without any regard for Eun Dong's feelings, and even Ra Il's feelings, is simply despicable. How can that be called husbandly love? fatherly love?

I believe some of us are looking at his disability and hence the sympathy, or giving him some slack. To me, able-bodied or otherwise, it still leaves a bad bad taste in my mouth. But what? Writernim will give him a miraculous recovery? While that is good for viewers to kinda justify Eun Dong leaving him for Eun Ho, I really don't find that as appropriate for Jae Ho - deceive and be blessed?

For that same matter, there's no need for any justification for Eun Dong to leave Jae Ho. She has suffered enough and been deceived big time. Period. Whether she reunites with Eun Ho or not, that's another issue. Whether Jae Ho feels remorseful later and apologizes for his deception, that's also another issue.

The biggest issue hereafter is - How can Eun Dong, Eun Ho and Ra Il ever recover from a decade-long deception like this? Can one recover?

Just three words say it all: Deceptive. Despicable. Dishonorable. 

PS: I'm sorry but I'm mad as hxll at Jae Ho and breaking for Eun Dong so badly 

[dimples21]

@seungshinl - thanks for the great insight. It's always helpful to see and hear  from someone who is married for 15 years.

Love this thread. Great insights, opinions, reflections on life. We often wonder how we  would  react in certain circumstance if we were confronted with it. Would we react the way we think we would or would our survival  instincts kick it.

[mdj101]

My List of Random Questions:

1.      Why does a middle age couple adopt a pretty 13 year old orphan girl?  

2.      Tell me about Eun Dong's  family, besides her maternal Grandma.

3.      Give the dates and the reasons for the family's stay in the States.  How was it financed?

4.      What's with that rich woman, RA?  Employed?  &  What's her "hold" over EH's  CEO/"friend" and EH's  film career?

5.      Exactly what part did Husband Choi play in the deception?  When did he find out about it?

6.      "Show me the Money!"  The years  20oo to 2005 were not the "Dark Ages" in Korea.  Let's talk Insurance here!   And Husband Choi had a future MLB career worth  lots of $$$$, remember? 

7.      Choi and the child ---  How do I know what is real between them? ----  Dad can only move one arm. Yet he takes time with the child's lessons and he sends his wife to check on the boy in school because he notices he seems quite "melancholy", something's "not right".  The child  insists on staying with dad in the hospital bed and refuses to go home without him.  I observe that their relationship  seems loving and real.  I only know what I can observe between them.  They seem at ease with each other.        

 As viewer of the drama, we have special knowledge that all is not as it appears with these characters.  But so far, we have been given only a variety of odd pieces of the puzzle and can only  GUESS  and make ASSUMPTIONS about what has occurred.  And information will be revealed randomly and slowly over 10 more episodes!    

How many times will the Writer throw us off the scent during those hours?  She will play a "cat and mouse" game with us until the very end. And I like it already!    

 

[seungshin]

credits: https://www.facebook.com/eundonglove?fref=ts 

OMG, they are hugging.  I just hope the last picture below is before their hugging not after!

Translation of the text:

A "real man' hug from a 'pure love' man Ji Eun Ho!

Ju Jin Mo (Eun Ho) has many moments when he is unable to suppress his emotions while portraying Eun Ho's love for Eun Dong in the drama.  He is working hard to show this heart breaking but pure love story to the audience.  Joo Jin Mo asks for continued interest in this fated love story that will become more intense.  You will continue to show interest..in the pure love story between Eun Dong and Eun Ho...right?  

 

 

[-jade-]

Little Ra Il - The Elephant In The Room?

Aish...my heart breaks for him already 

What's a good resolution? I can't see any. Ottoke? 

Ra II appear to be a sensitive child.and . frankly ...he is the most innocent party in all these ...ya there is no good resolution for this .unless ..( that something happen to Jae Ho ..that will not be a good option actually --;;  )  sigh if only he is just a baby it will be easier ..at this age of 10 ..kids already understand things ..

 

@shirley,   I don't feel the closeness between RA ll and his supposed to be father.. It's no easy solution to this but ED will have to weigh things...

(edited - soompi rules/biyane chingus)

 

Thank you @shirley @valsava @seungshinl for indulging my query on Ra Il  Guess what? Is this an intentional foreshadow of things to come?

CR: Screencap from Viki.com. The scene from Ep 6 was Jae Ho reading to Ra Il, just as Jeong Eun was going outside to meet Eun Ho.

 

[seungshin]

Little Ra Il - The Elephant In The Room?

Aish...my heart breaks for him already 

What's a good resolution? I can't see any. Ottoke? 

Ra II appear to be a sensitive child.and . frankly ...he is the most innocent party in all these ...ya there is no good resolution for this .unless ..( that something happen to Jae Ho ..that will not be a good option actually --;;  )  sigh if only he is just a baby it will be easier ..at this age of 10 ..kids already understand things ..

@shirley,   I don't feel the closeness between RA ll and his supposed to be father.. It's no easy solution to this but ED will have to weigh things...

(edited - soompi rules/biyane chingus)

Thank you @shirley @valsava for indulging my query  Guess what? Is this an intentional foreshadow of things to come?

@jadecloud, what is this photo from?  Is it from MYED?

[-jade-]

@jadecloud, what is this photo from?  Is it from MLED?

 

@seungshinl Yes. From ep 6 MLE. I've edited earlier post

 

[seungshin]

Little Ra Il - The Elephant In The Room?

Aish...my heart breaks for him already 

What's a good resolution? I can't see any. Ottoke? 

Ra II appear to be a sensitive child.and . frankly ...he is the most innocent party in all these ...ya there is no good resolution for this .unless ..( that something happen to Jae Ho ..that will not be a good option actually --;;  )  sigh if only he is just a baby it will be easier ..at this age of 10 ..kids already understand things ..

 

@shirley,   I don't feel the closeness between RA ll and his supposed to be father.. It's no easy solution to this but ED will have to weigh things...

(edited - soompi rules/biyane chingus)

Thank you @shirley @valsava @seungshinl for indulging my query on Ra Il  Guess what? Is this an intentional foreshadow of things to come?

 

CR: Screencap from Viki.com. The scene from Ep 6 was Jae Ho reading to Ra Il, just as Jeong Eun was going outside to meet Eun Ho.

OMG @jadecloud, you very bad.  That's going to play with my mind all night !

[seungshin]

Little Ra Il - The Elephant In The Room?

Aish...my heart breaks for him already 

What's a good resolution? I can't see any. Ottoke? 

Ra II appear to be a sensitive child.and . frankly ...he is the most innocent party in all these ...ya there is no good resolution for this .unless ..( that something happen to Jae Ho ..that will not be a good option actually --;;  )  sigh if only he is just a baby it will be easier ..at this age of 10 ..kids already understand things ..

 

@shirley,   I don't feel the closeness between RA ll and his supposed to be father.. It's no easy solution to this but ED will have to weigh things...

(edited - soompi rules/biyane chingus)

Thank you @shirley @valsava @seungshinl for indulging my query on Ra Il  Guess what? Is this an intentional foreshadow of things to come?

 

CR: Screencap from Viki.com. The scene from Ep 6 was Jae Ho reading to Ra Il, just as Jeong Eun was going outside to meet Eun Ho.

OMG @jadecloud, you very bad.  That's going to play with my mind all night !

Just went and re-watched this scene.  Exactly what the viki translation said.  Kudos to the team for translating that, hard to hear in some parts.  So is this a foreshadowing?  It's good for our OTP if it is.

[mdj101]

@seunshinl;

Wonderful story!  I really do like it.  Every possibility  seems to have been covered. And all can eventually be forgiven, sort of, and  lengthy jail terms have been avoided all around.    

"Almost too good to be true, isn't it?", I soon thought.   But will our Write-nim agree with us?    Somehow, I think I am hearing an emphatic, loud  "NOT EVEN!" coming from the BTS staff offices!    We will still have that famous "long, bumpy ride ahead" of us, I believe, until the Writer, Director, and entire Staff announce "THE END" !    

 

 

[seungshin]

@seunshinl;

Wonderful story!  I really do like it.  Every possibility  seems to have been covered. And all can eventually be forgiven, sort of, and  lengthy jail terms have been avoided all around.    

"Almost too good to be true, isn't it?", I soon thought.   But will our Write-nim agree with us?    Somehow, I think I am hearing an emphatic, loud  "NOT EVEN!" coming from the BTS staff offices!    We will still have that famous "long, bumpy ride ahead" of us, I believe, until the Writer, Director, and entire Staff announce "THE END" !    

I know I've really put my neck out there to be chopped off.  But oh well.  I will only be virtually dead.