Ask Me Anything~!

[Guest soonpi0]

There's this guy that I see often around campus, especially at the rec center. From the first time I saw him, I thought he was really cute. It didn't seem like he ever noticed me though. However, one day, some guys that he was playing basketball with got a friend to talk to me and my friend because they thought we were pretty. The friend told them that I was Korean and the cute guy responded by saying, "Oh, interesting" (he's Korean too). After that day, he actually smiled and waved at me a couple of times. He stopped doing that for a couple of weeks, so I just guessed that he wasn't interested.

A few days ago, I was at the rec center by myself (I'm usually always witha friend or two) and just jogging around the track. He was on the track too, but I didn't really notice him. I was jogging and got tired so I stopped. As soon as I did, he jogged past me and said "Come on, don't stop." A couple of minutes later,  started jogging again and he jogged past me again, but looked at me straight in the eye this time and said hello in Korean. I was so nervous that I just laughed a little both times (and he was just jogging by, so I couldn't really make conversation). When I continued on the track, he went to go play basketball and was waiting for the game to end. I told myself that when I pass by, I'm for sure going to talk to him, but I got too nervous.

From this, I think he's kind of interested in me. And I find him really attractive, so I've actually been wanting to talk to him for the longest time, but never had the courage to do so. I've never approached a guy before. Also, I don't have ANY mutual friends with him, I don't know his name, I don't know anything about him. Soooo I guess the question is should I approach him? And if I do, how can I make conversation/what should I say to him?

take a deep breath. look at yourself in the mirror. and tell yourself, "the next time i see him, i'm going to ask him his name."

next time you see him, ask him his name! then, tell him yours talk abt working out, majors, etc...just get the ball rolling, it'll be easier from there. good luck!

[Guest shonenx]

On Sunday, I met up with a female friend of mine for the third time in about a month. I've known her since December, but haven't really talked to each other until just recently(couple months ago). Anyway, we hung out for almost the whole day yesterday. A few hours afterwards she e-mailed me saying she had a fun time and thanked me for taking her out to shop, and said "See you soon" before ending her e-mail. She has said that before, but only when we had scheduled to meet up in a few days. This time, we didn't schedule anything.

Maybe I'm thinking into it too much, but I've been thinking that she hinted to me that she wants to meet up again sometime soon. She did mention to me that she had the upcoming Thur, Fri, and Saturday off and practically had no plans for each of those days. She knows that my work schedule is usually two days on and two-three days off, and she knew that I had a day off this past Sat, so she pretty much could have guessed that I had Wed, Thur and maybe Fri off. Anyway, would it be safe for me to assume that she wants me to make plans with her? Also, the previous couple times we met up was because I had something she needed and she had a couple gifts to give to me from her mother.

It's quite long, but here's more info on our history

http://www.soompi.com/forums/topic/359980-am-i-thinking-into-it-too-much/page__p__17017785#entry17017785

Thank you for reading!

[Guest WaffleZ42]

On Sunday, I met up with a female friend of mine for the third time in about a month. I've known her since December, but haven't really talked to each other until just recently(couple months ago). Anyway, we hung out for almost the whole day yesterday. A few hours afterwards she e-mailed me saying she had a fun time and thanked me for taking her out to shop, and said "See you soon" before ending her e-mail. She has said that before, but only when we had scheduled to meet up in a few days. This time, we didn't schedule anything.

Maybe I'm thinking into it too much, but I've been thinking that she hinted to me that she wants to meet up again sometime soon. She did mention to me that she had the upcoming Thur, Fri, and Saturday off and practically had no plans for each of those days. She knows that my work schedule is usually two days on and two-three days off, and she knew that I had a day off this past Sat, so she pretty much could have guessed that I had Wed, Thur and maybe Fri off. Anyway, would it be safe for me to assume that she wants me to make plans with her? Also, the previous couple times we met up was because I had something she needed and she had a couple gifts to give to me from her mother.

It's quite long, but here's more info on our history

http://www.soompi.co...5#entry17017785

Thank you for reading!

Don't assume anything.

You two had a good time, just state that simple fact and say you'd like to make plans again. Judging from how you're overthinking some rather minor details, it sounds like you're pretty nervous. Try not to agonize over every word she says and just be confident in the fact that you can ask her to hang out without any disastrous consequences.

Worst case scenario, she turns you down. Doesn't mean she's gone forever, your house isn't burned down and your family hasn't been murdered. It just means plans aren't convenient for her at the time.

[Guest hyun_soo]

hello.. =]

I need some advice from you guys

I have a boyfriend. We've been through it a month. He said, he loves me. But until now, he never say it anymore. I know, he is a shy boy. Too shy. Beside, he never say it to me again, he rarely chats with me in school or what else that couple do. If you've felt what I feel, you'll know that I'm bored, really. I wanna get something new! I tried to say it, but he still didn't realize. I don't know what shall I do to him now. I've thought about it and now I'm still thinking about... shall I break up with him?

Please give me your advices, anything will be help me.

Thanks before =]

[_siku_]

^Honeymoon phase is over. Here come the real test whether your relationship will stay or not. 

Maybe he is just waiting for the right time to say "I love you" to you?  Also, have you initiate the chat with him, hang out, etc? It's up to you to break up or not, do you still have feelings toward him?

[Guest Aspire]

Just had a break up with my bf. We were in a long distance relationship for a few months and he's becoming too needy. He would often call me in the wee hours and start talking nonsense like, "I'm lonely. Can I go find a temporary girlfriend as a replacement since you're not here with me?" or keep on asking, "When are you coming back? I can't stand it anymore!" or "Nobody loves me anymore...". It's constituting a huge stress on me because long distance relationship shouldn't feed on incessant demands and neediness, but care, consideration and support. I would say, I didn't feel the support when I was with him. He made me feel like I made the wrong choice going to another city in pursuit of my career and not staying in the same city with him. I've changed these few months just so I could suit him and frankly I don't like how I've changed myself into. I feel like I'm no longer myself because I did these just to keep him satisfied and happy. He would depend on me a lot for comfort in all sorts of matters (he's younger than me) and so I have to be the strong one. So eventually the stress wore me off and we both agreed to go separate ways.

At first it was hard for me, I cried and cried, because we broke up when my love for him was still strong (don't ask me why I loved him when he's given me all the stress. Love IS blind...). But I am slowly getting out of it and I'm concentrating on my studies and career, which are more important to me (I'm only 21 now). I still kept in contact with him but we didn't talk that much anymore.

Then I got to know that he started smoking again, which has always been something that I horribly despise (sorry to all smokers out there). I asked him why did he smoke and he just said, "There is no reason not to." but couldn't really tell me the real reason he smokes. I know very well that he's smoking because 1)he sees it as a way to hide away from all the problems he faces and 2)just to get back at me when we argue or disagree about something. He knows very well that I hate to see him smoking and he wanted to do it just so I will be soft-hearted, give in and apologise first. I've had enough of that and so I decided to leave him the way he is because nobody else can save him if he wants to act that way.

Recently, he started saying how I am hurting him and not supporting him. He made it sound like it's my ultimate obligation to support him but he doesn't do the same in return. He doesn't put himself in my shoes and realise that I, too, need his support and care as much as he needs mine. A relationship runs both ways, right? Things have gone from bitter to sour and I don't know what happens next. I thought we could still be friends but if things become like this I'm afraid we can't anymore.

Just want some opinions on what should I do now... have I been doing the right thing for leaving him? Sorry if this bores you, but any advice would be very much appreciated.

[Guest hyun_soo]

^Honeymoon phase is over. Here come the real test whether your relationship will stay or not. 

Maybe he is just waiting for the right time to say "I love you" to you?  Also, have you initiate the chat with him, hang out, etc? It's up to you to break up or not, do you still have feelings toward him?

I've broke up with him. Several hours ago. I can't wait, you know, it's too long! Beside that, I feel like I'm nothing to him. He prefers to tell everything with his friend with me. Even, his friend told me what did he say, I still don't like that. I want he tells me directly, not with his friend. But, thank you for your advice. After broke up with him, then read your advice, I feel a bit regret for did it all too fast haha..

[_siku_]

I've broke up with him. Several hours ago. I can't wait, you know, it's too long! Beside that, I feel like I'm nothing to him. He prefers to tell everything with his friend with me. Even, his friend told me what did he say, I still don't like that. I want he tells me directly, not with his friend. But, thank you for your advice. After broke up with him, then read your advice, I feel a bit regret for did it all too fast haha..

Well it seems to me it's a communication problems, since he is making his friends telling you stuff right? But oh well, it's over. As long as the decision makes you feel happy =)

Just had a break up with my bf. We were in a long distance relationship for a few months and he's becoming too needy. He would often call me in the wee hours and start talking nonsense like, "I'm lonely. Can I go find a temporary girlfriend as a replacement since you're not here with me?" or keep on asking, "When are you coming back? I can't stand it anymore!" or "Nobody loves me anymore...". It's constituting a huge stress on me because long distance relationship shouldn't feed on incessant demands and neediness, but care, consideration and support. I would say, I didn't feel the support when I was with him. He made me feel like I made the wrong choice going to another city in pursuit of my career and not staying in the same city with him. I've changed these few months just so I could suit him and frankly I don't like how I've changed myself into. I feel like I'm no longer myself because I did these just to keep him satisfied and happy. He would depend on me a lot for comfort in all sorts of matters (he's younger than me) and so I have to be the strong one. So eventually the stress wore me off and we both agreed to go separate ways.

At first it was hard for me, I cried and cried, because we broke up when my love for him was still strong (don't ask me why I loved him when he's given me all the stress. Love IS blind...). But I am slowly getting out of it and I'm concentrating on my studies and career, which are more important to me (I'm only 21 now). I still kept in contact with him but we didn't talk that much anymore. 

Then I got to know that he started smoking again, which has always been something that I horribly despise (sorry to all smokers out there). I asked him why did he smoke and he just said, "There is no reason not to." but couldn't really tell me the real reason he smokes. I know very well that he's smoking because 1)he sees it as a way to hide away from all the problems he faces and 2)just to get back at me when we argue or disagree about something. He knows very well that I hate to see him smoking and he wanted to do it just so I will be soft-hearted, give in and apologise first. I've had enough of that and so I decided to leave him the way he is because nobody else can save him if he wants to act that way. 

Recently, he started saying how I choose to walk away from him instead of supporting him. He made it sound like it's my ultimate obligation to support him but he doesn't do the same in return. He doesn't put himself in my shoes and realise that I, too, need his support and care as much as he needs mine. A relationship runs both ways, right? Things have gone from bitter to sour and I don't know what happens next. I thought we could still be friends but if things become like this I'm afraid we can't anymore. 

Just want some opinions on what should I do now... have I been doing the right thing for leaving him? Sorry if this bores you, but any advice would be very much appreciated.

You did the right thing by leaving him. Seriously, if I'm in a LDR and my bf ask me if he can go find a "temporary gf" then he isn't worth it, I would probably dump him too. I think it's best to stop being friends with him now, or at least, start ignoring him. Right now he knows you are still there, which mean it gives him hopes that you might be back with him.

 

[Guest angelalaw1187]

I started going out with my ex boyfriend in 2006 mother’s day. In 2008, my ex-boyfriend proposed to me and I said yes. Therefore, we bought a condo together and he promised to make mortgage payment every single month if I use my credit to buy a condo at that time and adds his name to the deed as a joint ownership. Ever since we bought the condo he had been making mortgage payment. In 2009, I moved to Hong Kong with him for his career without getting married because he was married to someone else as a fake marriage to earn money before I met him. He promised to get married with me after he’s done with the fake marriage. In 2010, we broke up in July. And he asked me to move out and promised to give me $25 k in order to sign the empire condo over to him. But he said he needed time to deal with lawyers and bank so he said how about I give you $5 k first and you move out and I’ll give you the rest after I sign over the condo to him. So, I took his word and moved. Now, he wants me to sign the condo over to him without the deal he promised me. And threaten not to make mortgage payment anymore and told me to expect an official letter from his lawyer in the next couple of days requesting my appearance in court. What give him the right to take the empire ownership when I’m the primary ownership who added his name to the deed? How will this be resolve if I go to court with him? I have been in depression for 8 month after the break up. Now, he’s making me deal with this? This world is so unfair. I even thought of suicide after what happened. Please help!!! We almost got married. We even took wedding pictures together with his parent in 2009. And we reserved a restaurant to hold a banquet and even had our wedding invitation printed as well a wedding planner.

[Guest hyun_soo]

Well it seems to me it's a communication problems, since he is making his friends telling you stuff right? But oh well, it's over. As long as the decision makes you feel happy =)

yeah, I think it's about communication too.. but, you know what? I feel a bit guilty to him now. and I don't know why, wherever I go, I'm always thinking of him. Like "Ah, he had went to that mall" or I stared at my phone and thinking, "why didn't he send me a message?" then I realized, "ah, I'm not his girlfriend anymore". I don't know what it's called. I feel like, yeah, I lost something. but still, I don't know. aaaaah, what shall I do? D;

[_siku_]

yeah, I think it's about communication too.. but, you know what? I feel a bit guilty to him now. and I don't know why, wherever I go, I'm always thinking of him. Like "Ah, he had went to that mall" or I stared at my phone and thinking, "why didn't he send me a message?" then I realized, "ah, I'm not his girlfriend anymore". I don't know what it's called. I feel like, yeah, I lost something. but still, I don't know. aaaaah, what shall I do? D;

It's just a feeling after you broke up with someone. Concentrate on your studying. Not to be sound creepy but I looked at your 411, you have a test coming right? Concentrate and do well on it. After you finish the test, go out with friends, enjoy you life, keep yourself busy. 

I started going out with my ex boyfriend in 2006 mother’s day. In 2008, my ex-boyfriend proposed to me and I said yes. Therefore, we bought a condo together and he promised to make mortgage payment every single month if I use my credit to buy a condo at that time and adds his name to the deed as a joint ownership. Ever since we bought the condo he had been making mortgage payment. In 2009, I moved to Hong Kong with him for his career without getting married because he was married to someone else as a fake marriage to earn money before I met him. He promised to get married with me after he’s done with the fake marriage. In 2010, we broke up in July. And he asked me to move out and promised to give me $25 k in order to sign the empire condo over to him. But he said he needed time to deal with lawyers and bank so he said how about I give you $5 k first and you move out and I’ll give you the rest after I sign over the condo to him. So, I took his word and moved. Now, he wants me to sign the condo over to him without the deal he promised me. And threaten not to make mortgage payment anymore and told me to expect an official letter from his lawyer in the next couple of days requesting my appearance in court. What give him the right to take the empire ownership when I’m the primary ownership who added his name to the deed? How will this be resolve if I go to court with him? I have been in depression for 8 month after the break up. Now, he’s making me deal with this? This world is so unfair. I even thought of suicide after what happened. Please help!!! We almost got married. We even took wedding pictures together with his parent in 2009. And we reserved a restaurant to hold a banquet and even had our wedding invitation printed as well a wedding planner.

I can't really give you a good advice with the whole court, condo, contracts stuff now, I suggest you go here http://www.soompi.com/forums/forum/8-the-real-world-20-only/ to ask for more advice, those people can help you there. Please do not think of suicide. Remember that you have people who care about you, think of how others will feel when they lose you. You might feel worthless to one person, but you are priceless to another =]. That guy is an *****, he does not deserve you. 

[Guest hyun_soo]

It's just a feeling after you broke up with someone. Concentrate on your studying. Not to be sound creepy but I looked at your 411, you have a test coming right? Concentrate and do well on it. After you finish the test, go out with friends, enjoy you life, keep yourself busy. 

Ah, is that so? So, it's normal, isn't it? Ooh, thanks for your advices, really! I feel really better now^^ you're so good in releationship problem! Thank you so much~ I wub you! <3

[_siku_]

Ah, is that so? So, it's normal, isn't it? Ooh, thanks for your advices, really! I feel really better now^^ you're so good in releationship problem! Thank you so much~ I wub you! <3

Ya it's normal. It really depends on how strong you are. There are people who experienced it much worse which cause them depression, and possibly suicide if they had no help. And np lol. 

[Guest hyun_soo]

Ya it's normal. It really depends on how strong you are. There are people who experienced it much worse which cause them depression, and possibly suicide if they had no help. And np lol. 

I won't do suicide, I think. cause I'm the one who wants to break up. and see he's ok without me, it makes me feel better. I hope I can be like him too. yeah, still feel a bit guilty even I'm reading science or math book. haha, how pitiful I am. ok, forget it. thanks again^^!

[Guest doggydog]

my ex gf was straight up cold on how we broke up... first she suggested we take a break so we can cool off and try to work things out since we were fighting alot lately... weeks goes by she didnt barely want to talk, text or anything... week after that she couldnt stand anything bout me like if i dont even exist anymore. when we did talk she would say stuff like how she regret everything, was never happy in the year and half we were together etc etc and lots of other real hurtful stuff.. basically she said, dont text call or anything i want to forget everything bout you for now and maybe with time things could be different... weeks later on my birthday i found out she's with somebody else and already a "couple". after texting her bout it she called and said its true. she with somebody new, they been talking talking and stuff while we were still together. so i been lead on for over a month trying to fix and do everything to make us work again when all along she was talking to some new dude. worst pain i ever felt.. was drinking heavy almost every night for over a month so i wouldnt think bout what happen. why am i so stuck on her when she did me so wrong in the end?

[_siku_]

^You haven't move on yet. Be strong, move on, stay busy, hang out with friends, meet new people, etc. At least try to be positive, drowning yourself in alcohol won't do any good. 

[AiriinxKumori]

Mother's day is coming around and I'm only getting mine a gift as an obligation not from my heart. My mother and I don't get along and not compatible at all. I gave up trying to meeting her half way or get her to understand. What i'm asking is...is it wrong to not feel any connection to her other than she gave birth to me and has hold on me because of money?

[Snowy-Nights]

Mother's day is coming around and I'm only getting mine a gift as an obligation not from my heart. My mother and I don't get along and not compatible at all. I gave up trying to meeting her half way or get her to understand. What i'm asking is...is it wrong to not feel any connection to her other than she gave birth to me and has hold on me because of money?

It's not wrong at all.  I understand how you feel..  I'm not exactly close to my mother and don't plan to bother trying anymore.  You support her financially and I think that's enough.  If she fails to understand you, I think it's wrong for people to expect you to care any more than that.       

[Guest cheerydumdum]

EDIT:

is it normal to find that people who like you are annoying when you don't like them back? they don't actually do anything wrong.

[AiriinxKumori]

It's not wrong at all.  I understand how you feel..  I'm not exactly close to my mother and don't plan to bother trying anymore.  You support her financially and I think that's enough.  If she fails to understand you, I think it's wrong for people to expect you to care any more than that.       

yes i figured so. sometimes i feel bothered that I should feel something but I don't. :/