Ask Me Anything~!

[Poop-Shoop-A-Loop]

- take note of first post

Aziraphale and I have decided to restart the "Ask Me Anything" thread due to increasing misuse in the previous one.

Feel free to use this thread to seek and/or give advice to fellow Soompiers.

However, please note that this thread is not a place for conversations or chit-chat. This was increasingly obvious in the last few pages of the old thread, where a few members hogged the thread and basically turned it into their Aunt Agony playground. Members come in here to seek serious advice, not for you to make a joke out of it. If we find you abusing the thread, you will be warned and your posts removed.

Also, do not forget that this will be the only advice thread in the L&R forum. If any other "advice" threads are started, they will either be closed or merged with this thread.

If you feel you can help soompiers with their problems, please post your advice in this thread. Do not start a new one "advertising" your offer to help.

[Guest bruisedRose]

..hi?

I NEED some advice.

I am generally a shy/quiet person. Usually the only reason I'm sometimes loud/out-going or whatever is because of my friends. Also, I am really self-concious when I speak because I have this kinda weird accent - it's kinda British/Canadian/gibberish. Anyway, because of my shyness (or as I call it "my affliction") people generally see me as kind of stuck-up/rude/a weird person.

Moving on, there is this guy who has the locker right next to mine, and he is FRICK'NOMGSH.. he's really cute. When I first saw him, my locker door was blocking his so we exchanged that awkward "Oh I'm sorryblahblah.." and that was it. We do not talk to eachother AT ALL besides for some of those awkward aforementioned situations and I feel really bad. I would really like to be able to say something like "Hi/Bye" when I see him everyday (because I actually kinda like him) but when I think about it (which is probably why its never happened) I just remember how I've never said anything before and it will just be even more AWKWARD, for both of us. Also, a couple months ago I noticed that we live on the same street (I live on an opposite side of the road that cuts through the street). It's kinda weird when you know where someone lives and don't even know their name.

Anyway, what I would like to know is:

- should I just randomly start saying "Hi/Bye" (I see him basically everyday) or will he think I'm some sort of freak?

- am I a stalker? (lol, don't answer that please)

- should I just stop trying (or attempting to try)? because everyone knows that awkwardness kills everything..

- what are some ways for me to become a little more outgoing?

..I'm sorry if this is really weird/long/stupid. It's really my first time asking about this kind of stuff, so yeah. If it's too retarded please delete this and I'm really sorry.

Looking forward to advice.. if any.

[Guest wr3ck3dd]

^ Because it's been a good 8 hours and no one has answered your thread, I will venture the second "real" post on this thread to aid you.

In my opinion, being outgoing is a mixture of having something to talk about and willingness to put yourself out there. Although you say that your "shy" demeanor as well as "weird accent" prevents you from more social interaction, I would have to say that this is only a product of your own mind. You don't sound awkward and I think the first step is to realize that no one will make fun of you because of your accent and if they do, then they're just not worthy people to speak to.

Second, I would encourage you to engage in reading out loud more often. Although this may seem like a stupid bit of practice, it will help you get over your accent. I had a friend who through elementary school stuttered frequently whenever he spoke in public. Eventually, he became nervous and shy, even through middle school, where he was teased and often quiet. However, the summer between middle school and high school, he practiced reading out loud everyday for two hours. During high school, he eventually became one of the most prized speech and debate members in our school.

Third, I think that in your social development it would be good for you to open up with something to start the conversation with. After all, the age old stigma that us males have to begin any conversation is, after all, age old. I hope that you will take heart to this response and simply encourage yourself to say "Hi! We've never really introduced each other though we've had lockers all this time. Etc." After all, it could never hurt to try to gain a new friend!

So to answer your questions:

#1 Don't say it randomly, introduce yourself this will make you seem less like a freak.

#2 Absolutely not, just a little shy and in need of a little encouragement.

#3 Never stop trying. Have a little bit of pride and try your best. After all what's the worst thing that could happen? Being embarrassed for one day? It's better than being silent a lifetime.

#4 Like I said, I think mastery of your own voice--either through a mode of speaking out loud all the time or reading out loud to yourself--is one of the main ways you'll become more outgoing.

If you have anything else you'd like to ask about, feel free to PM me. Best of luck!

P.S. Your accent sounds quite attractive to me! I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Guys flip for accents.

[Photogeek]

..hi?

I NEED some advice.

I am generally a shy/quiet person. Usually the only reason I'm sometimes loud/out-going or whatever is because of my friends. Also, I am really self-concious when I speak because I have this kinda weird accent - it's kinda British/Canadian/gibberish. Anyway, because of my shyness (or as I call it "my affliction") people generally see me as kind of stuck-up/rude/a weird person.

Moving on, there is this guy who has the locker right next to mine, and he is FRICK'NOMGSH.. he's really cute. When I first saw him, my locker door was blocking his so we exchanged that awkward "Oh I'm sorryblahblah.." and that was it. We do not talk to eachother AT ALL besides for some of those awkward aforementioned situations and I feel really bad. I would really like to be able to say something like "Hi/Bye" when I see him everyday (because I actually kinda like him) but when I think about it (which is probably why its never happened) I just remember how I've never said anything before and it will just be even more AWKWARD, for both of us. Also, a couple months ago I noticed that we live on the same street (I live on an opposite side of the road that cuts through the street). It's kinda weird when you know where someone lives and don't even know their name.

Anyway, what I would like to know is:

- should I just randomly start saying "Hi/Bye" (I see him basically everyday) or will he think I'm some sort of freak?

- am I a stalker? (lol, don't answer that please)

- should I just stop trying (or attempting to try)? because everyone knows that awkwardness kills everything..

- what are some ways for me to become a little more outgoing?

..I'm sorry if this is really weird/long/stupid. It's really my first time asking about this kind of stuff, so yeah. If it's too retarded please delete this and I'm really sorry.

Looking forward to advice.. if any.

This is sort of whats happening to me. This boy rides my bus and we never say hi, but we always look at each other.

So do what I will do, and try talking to him. Maybe tell him a little white lie and say, I didn’t know you lived in my neighborhood. Start a conversation with that, and maybe continue it with, so what’s your name? What grade are you in? Blah blah, all those GET TO KNOW YOU questions. Then find common ground, and go from there. ^__^

As for becoming more outgoing, it has to do with your confidence, so forget that you have an accent (I laugh at myself when something comes out wrong, and usually my friends laugh at my laughing at myself). This confidence should also go with you not giving up until you give it a fair fight. ^__^ Guys like confidence (or so I am told).

Anyways, good luck on this. lol

P.S maybe what i wrote doesnt make sence because english is my second language and im horrible at writting. -__-

[Guest mikasaranghae]

Can someone help?

Here is the situation. I have a friend whom I do care for. I feel he cares for me too. We were on a few dates. However, our personalities seemed too different. I feel he is insensitive to my situation. For example, my dad does not allow me to chat on the telephone too long; this boy insisted that he only want to talk on the phone, instead of sending text message. At first I tried my best to accomodate him; but as time goes on, my dad is very angry at me for keep talking on the phone. I told the boy that I can't no longer talk on the phone and asked him to talk with me in person or sending text instead. He still doesnot want to do that. Finally I was very frustrated and broke up with him. I tell him how uncaring and not thoughtful he is. But I feel bad for saying that. Do you think I should apologize for saying these things? I know I was too harsh on him, but I was really under pressure too. I don't want to date him again, however, I think I was too harsh by telling him he is insensitive and not-thoughtful. I don't know may be I was too stressful from my dad and went over board. Do you think I should apologize to my friend?

Thank you.

[Guest M i l k C o o k i e]

awh i think... he just rather hear your voice. maybe he doesnt have a texting plan? lol

[Guest parkie871]

just get skype or some other stuff. or a webcam and do video chat on msn.

[Guest Onizuka]

I think you shouldn't. Don't apologize to him.

Be strong. And just leave it that way.

He deserved it because he did not respect you after knowing you cannot talk on the phone for too long.

It is okay to be harsh sometimes when it's reasonable. It helps someone learn from their mistakes.

[Guest mikasaranghae]

awh i think... he just rather hear your voice. maybe he doesnt have a texting plan? lol

So you think I should say "sorry" to him?

I think you shouldn't. Don't apologize to him.

Be strong. And just leave it that way.

He deserved it because he did not respect you after knowing you cannot talk on the phone for too long.

It is okay to be harsh sometimes when it's reasonable. It helps someone learn from their mistakes.

thank

just get skype or some other stuff. or a webcam and do video chat on msn.

That's not the point. We are no longer a couple. I just want to know if I should say "sorry" for being too harsh on him.

[Guest Rymd]

mikasaranghae - lol, don't apologise to him. as I see it, he's at serious fault for not understanding that you were barred by your family from phoning too much. if he couldn't adjust, he either doesn't like you or is an bubble gum. BUT.. still try to reconcile somehow.. its never a bad idea to apologise

o hey soompi, haven't been on in months.. but I've got a problem. this is kind of long, so sorry.

So I've had this extremely complicated situation with this girl for like 2 years now. Before I didn't really know her but after doing summer programs together and having every single class including next door lockers (set up was just.. perfect) this year, I've turned into one of her best friends. Various hints throughout the years, the strongest of which: she's blushed once talking to me, she frequently wants to be my partner in math/science labs, she decorated my !@#$in locker on my birthday!, she's awkwardly asked for me to go sit next to her in class, she used to say hi every chance possible, has gone out of her way to ask me obvious questions about class, and we've even done the "legs touching" thing. Now this is all probably hyperbolised like mad, so to cast some doubt, she is EXTREMELY friendly and talks to nearly every guy, seemingly to the point of flirting at times. I totally would've gone for it years ago when she started treating me especially friendly, but some other problems came up. So now ~2 years later where I have every class with her and we still have SOME "special" moments, I don't know.. I think I might be entering the dreaded twil-er.. friend zone. Even after all this, I'm extremely insecure lol.

I recently got mad 'cause she was talking about prom and was implying that she had "no one special." So I started ignoring her more, which is kind of hard since we have every class.. Its just a slight desensitization to conversation with her but its enough to be noticed I think, because I have noticed that recently she's actually responded to me being cold and has started to talk to someone else rather than me at one of our regular everyday chat spots. Also, since we're good buddies and such and have always hung out together in some classes, some other guy, probably jealous of me heh, noticed this and started joking about her + me as a couple like a regular skeptic jealous guy would. Now usually she would just yell "shut up!" or not care because its happened with another of her good guy friends before. But they were JUST friends. Her response to the jokes about her and me were a REALLY pissed off "whatever," followed by some more obviously annoyed silence. Hmm.. so what the hell is this eh?

Were those two instances obvious indicators that she still considers me as a possible "more than just a friend"?

Ignoring was probably a bad move on my part, since she's becoming increasingly hostile towards me o.o

And if you think she holds possible feelings, should I try to reconcile and like ask her out to prom or something?

[Guest Seraphyx]

Can someone help?

Here is the situation. I have a friend whom I do care for. I feel he cares for me too. We were on a few dates. However, our personalities seemed too different. I feel he is insensitive to my situation. For example, my dad does not allow me to chat on the telephone too long; this boy insisted that he only want to talk on the phone, instead of sending text message. At first I tried my best to accomodate him; but as time goes on, my dad is very angry at me for keep talking on the phone. I told the boy that I can't no longer talk on the phone and asked him to talk with me in person or sending text instead. He still doesnot want to do that. Finally I was very frustrated and broke up with him. I tell him how uncaring and not thoughtful he is. But I feel bad for saying that. Do you think I should apologize for saying these things? I know I was too harsh on him, but I was really under pressure too. I don't want to date him again, however, I think I was too harsh by telling him he is insensitive and not-thoughtful. I don't know may be I was too stressful from my dad and went over board. Do you think I should apologize to my friend?

Thank you.

A relationship is all about sacrifice and compromise. He was unwilling to compromise and it would seem selfish for him to get you in trouble, just because he wanted something. Although, in your case... you may have overreacted since the matter was so trivial such as talking on the phone versus texting. Yeah, you should apologize, for being hypocritical. You said harsh things to him, you were inconsiderate and not-thoughtful of his feelings. Apologize.

mikasaranghae - lol, don't apologise to him. as I see it, he's at serious fault for not understanding that you were barred by your family from phoning too much. if he couldn't adjust, he either doesn't like you or is an bubble gum.

o hey soompi, haven't been on in months.. but I've got a problem. this is kind of long, so sorry.

So I've had this extremely complicated situation with this girl for like 2 years now. Before I didn't really know her but after doing summer programs together and having every single class including next door lockers (set up was just.. perfect) this year, I've turned into one of her best friends. Various hints throughout the years, the strongest of which: she's blushed once talking to me, she frequently wants to be my partner in math/science labs, she decorated my !@#$in locker on my birthday!, she's awkwardly asked for me to go sit next to her in class, she used to say hi every chance possible, has gone out of her way to ask me obvious questions about class, and we've even done the "legs touching" thing. Now this is all probably hyperbolised like mad, so to cast some doubt, she is EXTREMELY friendly and talks to nearly every guy, seemingly to the point of flirting at times. I totally would've gone for it years ago when she started treating me especially friendly, but some other problems came up. So now ~2 years later where I have every class with her and we still have SOME "special" moments, I don't know.. I think I might be entering the dreaded twil-er.. friend zone. Even after all this, I'm extremely insecure lol.

I recently got mad 'cause she was talking about prom and was implying that she had "no one special." So I started ignoring her more, which is kind of hard since we have every class.. Its just a slight desensitization to conversation with her but its enough to be noticed I think, because I have noticed that recently she's actually responded to me being cold and has started to talk to someone else rather than me at one of our regular everyday chat spots. Also, since we're good buddies and such and have always hung out together in some classes, some other guy, probably jealous of me heh, noticed this and started joking about her + me as a couple like a regular skeptic jealous guy would. Now usually she would just yell "shut up!" or not care because its happened with another of her good guy friends before. But they were JUST friends. Her response to the jokes about her and me were a REALLY pissed off "whatever," followed by some more obviously annoyed silence. Hmm.. so what the hell is this eh?

Were those two instances obvious indicators that she still considers me as a possible "more than just a friend"?

Ignoring was probably a bad move on my part, since she's becoming increasingly hostile towards me o.o

And if you think she holds possible feelings, should I try to reconcile and like ask her out to prom or something?

You're pretty full of yourself. I'm going to ignore attacking any part of your story and instead I'm going to tell you exactly what to do.

Ask her to prom, but make the way you ask her very special and unique.

For ideas use the "official prom thread" link.

http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=261350

Good luck.

[Guest Rymd]

ow.. so cold. I'd argue I appear pretty full of myself because of the way I try to get out the facts in words and am biased towards myself.. Please attack my story, if it means conveying your opinion on my situation. Do you mind explaining why exactly I should just go ask her to prom, and in a "special and unique" way? Because I don't understand you. Thanks.

err. nevermind.. I get it. That's sort of what I was thinking

[Guest Seraphyx]

^

Well actually your story had that "I'm so great" tone to it. I meant it not so much as an aggressive comment, but more so as a humorous one. As a guy, we can never really assume a girl likes us, until after she's said it. Even then, we can't really take it as a 100%. She might be using us or toying with us. We can just never be certain on where we stand or how they feel about us. However, it's still all about the confidence.

You should really consider asking her in a "unique" way so you make the biggest impact possible. You sounded unsure of your position in your post, like you weren't sure how you were relative to her other "guy" friends in her mind. Do something big and set yourself apart from the rest of her "guy" friends and you'll be "The guy" friend. Get what I was trying to say? Make her feel special and make it memorable.

Best of luck.

-edit

I just read the end of your story again, make sure you aren't on hostile terms with her first.

[Guest Rymd]

Alright. I'll make her see that I like her again and then man up and be The Guy.. Or at least maximise my chances or make up for the stupid mini cooper I did by asking in a memorable way. k thanks again.

[Guest Uverstar]

Mmm....i guess i'll ask the question...

There is this girl i seriously...seriously like alot right now and I'm pretty sure this is love anyway i called her while i was out waiting for a train back home and i was talking to her normally...joking with her and making her laugh then i asked 'hey i was wondering, maybe next friday night we can go see a movie together?' and she says 'as in hang out?' and i say 'yeah sort of~' I think thats where i screwed up because

when i met up with her again i asked her while looking into her eyes 'hey, there's a good movie on next week, how about we go see it friday night?..' she says 'honestly when you called me i had a feeling it would be something like a date' and she said it was too quick and soon at the moment....

does she mean, she doesn't want a relationship now? she doesn't want a relationship with me? or...i MIGHT have a chance with her but she wants to get to know me more before....i ask her again?

I'm really confused...and thinking way too much >3<

[Guest Seraphyx]

^ Slow down a bit, regardless of whether she doesn't want a relationship right now or with you.

I feel that since she said that it's "quick and soon at the moment" that she possibly may have had a potential break up recently.

Why don't you just hang out with her a bit and maybe find out if she had a boyfriend recently. If she didn't have a boyfriend recently then potentially it could point to the fact that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

Just hang out with her for now and see where it goes and in the end I still highly doubt that you love this girl. You hardly know her, so it would be really hard to decide whether or not you actually lover her not. Infatuation~~~~

[Guest Uverstar]

supposedly she had a boyfriend....recently...i think they broke up around december and her friend said that she was quite uh....hurt? from him, does age really matter in this? he was 20yrs old i think....and he played with her aswell so i guess...maybe thats why she isn't ready for a relationship yet?..

Thanks for the advice, I'll do what you say haha

[Guest ` ilytoo;]

since, i really don't feel like making a thread, but what do you think how long an actual LONG hug ? i am a little confused about something and i just want to clarify it.

[Guest Seraphyx]

^ Um, Sorry I'm not exactly sure what you are trying to ask so maybe I could just assume what you are trying to say? (If that is alright)

Are you asking how long an actual hug is?

Well the length of a hug could vary, a short hug between friends, a long hug between a couple, or a long over-due embrace of a reunited couple. A hug can be anywhere from a few seconds to several minutes depending on the occasion. Usually, the more emotions tied with the moment the long the hug will be.

If this is not an answer you are looking for, please feel free to PM me and ask the question again.

[AiriinxKumori]

ok i want some more opinions

my mother, siblings and I were at burger king

and i noticed a vase of these pretty flowers

i made a comment to my mother "the flowers

look really exotic. you don't see those kinds often"

and she replied:

"don't say that is public. see this is why you don't have a boyfriend.

because of the way you talk."

my siblings and I were like "huh, what are you talking about? thats a compliment.[referring to the flowers]

she just mutter "still.." and then shut up.

i know this sounds really silly

but i want to know if that rebuttal was

uncalled for and that i shouldn't feel like the wrong one here.