[Drama 2017] Because This Is My First Life 이번 생은 처음이라

[shedp]

Non BTIMFL related but apparently, LMK was Suzy's ideal type back then. LOL. Same here girl, we feel you. 
So she likes men with "Lee Min' huh? From Lee Min Ki to Lee Min Ho. 

Ughh ok I'm just too invested with LMK these days, I must get back to real life. Damn, this show sucking me down again in dramaland. 
 

 

[hannajo]

Hello First Lifers! I'm new to this thread and I just wanted to share my perspective as someone whose personality is very similar to Se-hee's. I'm no MBTI expert, but I think the writer based his personality on the INTJ type. Which is also my MBTI type, except that I'm a female INTJ, a supposedly very rare species. 

 

So I was immediately taken in by this drama in the first episode, purely because I could totally see myself in Se-hee. Throughout my life, I've always been asked, "So how do you really feel?" (usually about something I'm experiencing). And I often answered, "I don't know what to feel." It's not that INTJs feel less, but because we place so much emphasis on intellect, our emotions end up becoming a rather underdeveloped part of ourselves. To hide this weakness, INTJs put up a "shield" that comes across as detachment and a robot-like demeanour to other people. When other people share their feelings, my automatic reaction is to analyse those feelings in an intellectual way, just like Se-hee and his Maslow's theory of needs. LOL! As I grew older and picked up skills on socialising with various types of people, I learnt to stop myself from analysing other's feelings with my intellect. Or at least restrict myself from expressing what I thought about their feelings (even though in my mind, I might be secretly analysing them). 

 

Then, once in a while, a brave soul comes and rocks the boat, forcing the INTJ to put down the shield or wall that he has built around himself, usually when he least expects it. I believe for Se-hee, Ji-ho was this person. While watching episode 12, and even after (when I was thinking about it), I unconsciously teared up because I could relate to Se-hee so much. Like him, I also experienced a bad ending to a relationship with someone I almost married. That person hurt me so badly I ended up remaining single for 9 years now. The difference between Se-hee and me was that I was happy for most of the 9 years and I am still happy now. And I was also the first one to walk away from the relationship in the end, unlike Se-hee. But I still felt a pang watching Se-hee sitting in that cafe, sobbing. It felt like I was watching myself, 9 years ago. 

 

A scary thing about INTJs is when they decide to love, they love hard. Why? Because INTJs are extremely goal-oriented. Once an INTJ acknowledges the entry of a potential romantic relationship, it means .he lines it up as one of the long-term "goals" in his life. I totally cracked up watching ep 13's preview showing Se-hee's daily log pertaining to Ji-ho. That's such an INTJ way of approaching love. Travelling 4 hours to work on kimjang for 6 hours? To an INTJ, it's all worth it for the goal.

 

So from my perspective, I have no doubt Se-hee loves Ji-ho wholeheartedly and he has loved her for awhile now. He might not show it, or he might express his love differently from others, but so far I think his character development has been consistent. Although I do understand why his falling-in-love process may appear abrupt to some. 

[Ondine]

7 minutes ago, Jillia said:

I kinda agree, @Ondine.

 

While I'm still 100% with the main couple, even after having some sleep and time to think about I'm really not satisfied with how things turned out to be for them after episode 11 and 12. :/ I like the cute moments between them but these moments don't give me, as 30+ year old woman, a natural feeling of how their relationship should progress on screen to make me believe they're actually a couple. Ji-ho is head over heels for Se-hee, Se-hee is committed but everything about it feels unsatisfied. But I have high hopes for the last 4 episodes to resolve all this hopefully.

 

With the other two couples: I'm not much interested in Won-seok and Ho-rang. Either they break up and move on or they finally get their sh** together and talk things through properly. I just want them to move on from their early 20s to their real age... their 30s.

 

I find myself being happy for Su-ji and Sang-gu though. I think the transition from meeting to dating to being couple felt so much more organic than the relationship between Ji-ho and Se-hee tbh.

 

Re: Se Hee and Ji Ho, yeah, aside from our age as the viewers (hehe) , I think it's the characters' ages as well. They're 29 and 37, but their couple shtick so far feels high school-ish to me. One of the things I liked about them was the way they communicated in the earlier episodes, when they used their words like adults should . But now...nothing. I don't believe catching feelings is incompatible with communicating, so I hope they remember to use their words again soon.

 

I also agree re: Soo Ji and Sang Gu, I think their chemistry works.

[at_dawn]

Hi everyone, I only started to lurk in here sometime last week but I feel like I have to share this theory with you. I apologize in case this was already posted, I could have missed out bec of the volume of comments,  (if that's the case, you may ignore this.)

 

In the ep where SH confronted his dad how he sent him away 12 years ago, maybe he was not only pertaining to himself literally. I also think SH and JM were living in SH aboji's house. SH aboji might have gotten really angry and kicked the BOTH of them out. That could explain why in the cafe, JM said that she already took her things out and that SH only needs to take his things out as well.-- bec they were both sent away from that house. And that's why SH was telling JM that he already talked to his dad and explained, etc. SH and JM living in together in a diff house other than his father's wouldn't be fitting cos I remember CEO Ma asked SH if JH reminded him of the ex after SH told him how an empty room to him could mean a lot to another which in this case is JH. That saying, maybe JM was also homeless at some point. 

[kimnabong]

16 minutes ago, Jillia said:

Maybe that's why a lot of people have no problem with how Se-hee's and Ji-ho's relationship progresses. Maybe it speaks more to the younger viewers than to us who are actually close to Ji-ho's and Se-hee's age and know that 30+ year old adult don't act the way Se-hee and Ji-ho do now. And I hope like you they finally find their footing in adult-land. ROFL

LOL I'm in my thirties and I still appreciate the date. I appreciate SH's efforts because this is JH's "first" everything. Wouldn't it be a bit sad if they went ahead with their normal ways, grew old together with JH never having had a youthful date? So I think it's cute of SH to have thought if it though I think more than the dates, what JH really likes to do is to be with him. 

 

p.s. i want a bts of the couch scene where JH explained that she has to take off her make up and gushing when SH said you look the same with our without it. Hahaha. I really had a laugh. Flirty Ji Ho and shocked SH is such a funny duo 

[yusefull]

Are there no sitbelt in the backsit of korean car ? I never saw JH using one and in episode 12, her and SH don't use one either.

[meiil]

So very happy to see the show doing so well both in Korea and on the Internet.

 

It's one little gem that deserves all the appreciation.

 

Btw I'm dying for them to release the beach kiss ost, you can't tease us like that and give us nothing!!

[gladys57]

Knowing that SH has had a relationship before, I dont think he's an innocent guy after all. 

So when all of a sudden he asked JH, "Would you like to sleep with me?" while looking at her lips, I screamed!  

[lclarakl]

8 hours ago, ObsessiveCompulsive said:

I was really happy when WS took the very difficult heart wrenching step of breaking up with HS. They need this, they've been together way too long and their relationship has not progressed. HS would never have left him and I think thats why WS had to be the one to do it. Sometimes we have to let things go and someone free and if they come back then its meant to be.

 

To be honest, this is the first episode when this couple really got to me emotionally; actually HR got to me and I felt her pain. I would have liked it better if she had broken up with him. He has been stringing her alone for 7 years and now is asking her to wait another 5 years. SH gave him some good feedback, WS was using a long of "I" when talking about his relationship with HR. However, she did the same thing. The two of these people were a couple, but they were thinking of their relationship in silos and not as a partnership.

 

 

[chubbyzmae]

1 hour ago, hannajo said:

~

 

Then, once in a while, a brave soul comes and rocks the boat, forcing the INTJ to put down the shield or wall that he has built around himself, usually when he least expects it. I believe for Se-hee, Ji-ho was this person. While watching episode 12, and even after (when I was thinking about it), I unconsciously teared up because I could relate to Se-hee so much. Like him, I also experienced a bad ending to a relationship with someone I almost married. That person hurt me so badly I ended up remaining single for 9 years now. The difference between Se-hee and me was that I was happy for most of the 9 years and I am still happy now. And I was also the first one to walk away from the relationship in the end, unlike Se-hee. But I still felt a pang watching Se-hee sitting in that cafe, sobbing. It felt like I was watching myself, 9 years ago. 

 

A scary thing about INTJs is when they decide to love, they love hard. Why? Because INTJs are extremely goal-oriented. Once an INTJ acknowledges the entry of a potential romantic relationship, it means .he lines it up as one of the long-term "goals" in his life. I totally cracked up watching ep 13's preview showing Se-hee's daily log pertaining to Ji-ho. That's such an INTJ way of approaching love. Travelling 4 hours to work on kimjang for 6 hours? To an INTJ, it's all worth it for the goal.

 

So from my perspective, I have no doubt Se-hee loves Ji-ho wholeheartedly and he has loved her for awhile now. He might not show it, or he might express his love differently from others, but so far I think his character development has been consistent. Although I do understand why his falling-in-love process may appear abrupt to some. 

Hello....glad to see you here.. Sorry to cut your post

 

I am so sorry to read your broken heart story, but i also relief you already got happiness now. It's difficult to some people to share their hurt story, and i do appriciate you. 

 

With your explanation, give me big differences to see Se Hee's heart which almost i didn't understand. Feel warm reading your post. And give me postive vibe to this drama. Thank you

[chubbyzmae]

1 hour ago, shedp said:

Non BTIMFL related but apparently, LMK was Suzy's ideal type back then. LOL. Same here girl, we feel you. 
So she likes men with "Lee Min' huh? From Lee Min Ki to Lee Min Ho. 

Ughh ok I'm just too invested with LMK these days, I must get back to real life. Damn, this show sucking me down again in dramaland. 
 

 

She's talking about her ideal type right beside my ideal guy ~gong yoo~ uuuhhh i am so envy with her....

[lclarakl]

1 hour ago, Ros Rivera said:

Hi everyone, I only started to lurk in here sometime last week but I feel like I have to share this theory with you. I apologize in case this was already posted, I could have missed out bec of the volume of comments,  (if that's the case, you may ignore this.)

 

In the ep where SH confronted his dad how he sent him away 12 years ago, maybe he was not only pertaining to himself literally. I also think SH and JM were living in SH aboji's house. SH aboji might have gotten really angry and kicked the BOTH of them out. That could explain why in the cafe, JM said that she already took her things out and that SH only needs to take his things out as well.-- bec they were both sent away from that house. And that's why SH was telling JM that he already talked to his dad and explained, etc. SH and JM living in together in a diff house other than his father's wouldn't be fitting cos I remember CEO Ma asked SH if JH reminded him of the ex after SH told him how an empty room to him could mean a lot to another which in this case is JH. That saying, maybe JM was also homeless at some point. 

 

@Ros Rivera, I too thought they were either living with the father or in his current house now. The only reason I don't think they got married was because SH still has the marriage form--that would have been turned in if they had married.  Maybe they were living together and the father rejected her as a potential daughter in law.

 

Personally, I hope JH goes ahead and gets back into writing. Her father in law likes a daughter in law that has a degree and is well educated, but doesn't want her to have a job that outshines his son. I really don't want her to lose sight of writing which is a passion of hers.

[lavender2love]

I feel queasy about this EX......Just look at her seductive expression !!!!!   I feel PD and Writer are setting up for one or all to show his/her hand.

 

The EX has a few options

* to reclaim her former position ( perhaps she felt regret and is all nostalgic about their happy days as her feelings in the cafe showed )

* to exact that he is denied the happiness she wished upon him, since she blamed him  so she becomes an obstacle to his newly found happiness .

* play the rivalry and play on JH's emotions

 

SH has Arsenal experience to make tactical moves, to manoeuvre for the goal.

 

JH can play forward, defender, striker, masseur , and administer the kiss of life after knock out

 

OH PLEASE NONE OF THE EX TROPE ABOVE.

I just want her role to be that piece of jigsaw in SH's past not stir up the blame game. SH is on the road to recovery , finding someone he adores and allowing that tightly shut door to be open . ... to love, to laughter. to healing . to happiness , to belonging , to sharing, to kissing and soon to BED PARTNERS. He'll teach JH how to make love as he did with the kissing won't he ? Favourite night time instruction " Shall we do it again ? "

hahaha

 

 

 Is going to play defender, striker or errmmm ....... refereee ?

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

RED FLAG !! RED FLAG !! This may be JH's  Achilles heels..... she is charmed by JM and may give a FREE PASS to her...... arrgghhh !!

 

Spoiler

 

But I'm hopeful JH plays DEFENDER.....she'll .defend SH from the ghost of his past , just like how she told off the irritating old man in such an jaw-dropping way. Wow..... that was sooooo GOOD JH..... defend your man,

Oh how SH loves it..... see the tiny curl of his lips as he relished being in safe hands.

LOVE IT !!!

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

She's resorting to old Joseon way of punishment..... Whew... !!!

 

Spoiler

 

[Ondine]

16 minutes ago, kimnabong said:

LOL I'm in my thirties and I still appreciate the date. I appreciate SH's efforts because this is JH's "first" everything. Wouldn't it be a bit sad if they went ahead with their normal ways, grew old together with JH never having had a youthful date? So I think it's cute of SH to have thought if it though I think more than the dates, what JH really likes to do is to be with him. 

 

p.s. i want a bts of the couch scene where JH explained that she has to take off her make up and gushing when SH said you look the same with our without it. Hahaha. I really had a laugh. Flirty Ji Ho and shocked SH is such a funny duo 

 

For me the content of the date was fine; I don't believe there's an upper age limit for enjoying booth games and plushie rewards and ice cream and music at the park.  For me it's more how they are with each other, like how they never even tried to talk about the kiss or what their relationship is now, how they're still so painfully awkward around each other, how Ji Ho seems to have lost her ability to express herself to him. They seem to have written Ji Ho's character to be completely inept when dealing with romantic or sexual feelings, and I don't like that they did.

[meiil]

16 minutes ago, Ondine said:

 

For me it's more how they are with each other, like how they never even tried to talk about the kiss or what their relationship is now, how they're still so painfully awkward around each other, how Ji Ho seems to have lost her ability to express herself to him. They seem to have written Ji Ho's character to be completely inept when dealing with romantic or sexual feelings, and I don't like that they did.

 

But the thing is this is her first time experiencing all this, of course she's super awkward and inept.. it would too unrealistic to have her deal with this new situation as an experienced woman. Same goes with SH, he might have the experience but for him this is also a first time. He's coming into a new relationship after 12 years of being single and full of emotional issues, he can't deal with JH and their new status like a normal 38 years man would do.

They are both inept when it comes to love but they are learning now.

 

Even the sister in -law noticed how they do feel like a teenage couple, bc that's exactly what they are experiencing now in order to become a mature couple by the end of their process.

 

The show itself is called Because This is My First Life for a reason.

 

 

[kimnabong]

43 minutes ago, Ondine said:

 

For me the content of the date was fine; I don't believe there's an upper age limit for enjoying booth games and plushie rewards and ice cream and music at the park.  For me it's more how they are with each other, like how they never even tried to talk about the kiss or what their relationship is now, how they're still so painfully awkward around each other, how Ji Ho seems to have lost her ability to express herself to him. They seem to have written Ji Ho's character to be completely inept when dealing with romantic or sexual feelings, and I don't like that they did.

I'm confident that was what the "could we sleep together tonight?" (as in just sleep) for. Imagine the pillow talk. I looked closely at the preview and on the 10th second I could see a couple of beer cans on the table beside Ji Ho's bed so there were some you and me talk time for sure. Episode 13 is waiting...

[kelmaoneko]

29 minutes ago, meiil said:

 

But the thing is this is her first time experiencing all this, of course she's super awkward and inept.. it would too unrealistic to have her deal with this new situation as an experienced woman. Same goes with SH, he might have the experience but for him this is also a first time. He's coming into a new relationship after 12 years of being single and full of emotional issues, he can't deal with JH and their new status like a normal 38 years man would do.

They are both inept when it comes to love but they are learning now.

 

Even the sister in -law noticed how they do feel like a teenage couple, bc that's exactly what they are experiencing now in order to become a mature couple by the end of their process.

 

The show itself is called Because This is My First Life for a reason.

 

 

I totally agree with you on this one. Life's "firsts" is the main theme of the drama. The date is not just Jiho's first time. It's also Sehee's first time with that person. It's Jiho's first love. It's also Sehee's first love with JiHo. Everything they did together is their first.

[Ondine]

11 minutes ago, meiil said:

 

But the thing is this is her first time experiencing all this, of course she's super awkward and inept.. it would too unrealistic to have her deal with this new situation as an experienced woman. Same goes with SH, he might have the experience but for him this is also a first time. He's coming into a new relationship after 12 years of being single and full of emotional issues, he can't deal with JH and their new status like a normal 38 years man would do.

They are both inept when it comes to love but they are learning now.

 

Even the sister in -law noticed how they do feel like a teenage couple, bc that's exactly what they are experiencing now in order to become a mature couple by the end of their process.

 

The show itself is called Because This is My First Life for a reason.

 

Maybe. But after 3 decades of life I don't think it's unrealistic that she would have a bit more experience (including second-hand) and skill in dealing with people and expressing herself, however mildly, than an inexperienced teenager would. At least for me as a viewer, I would have found it more interesting to see her character deal with it in a slightly more adult way given her age than dealing with it like an inexperienced teenager, since the latter seems to be quite well-represented in dramas already. (I'm so sorry teenagers. ) As for Se Hee...his character was constructed to be limited in emotional expression with a lot of relationship baggage, and he has been taking the initiative in nearly all of their couple interactions so far, so I guess I'm kind of easier on him.  I do hope like @kimnabong said that they'll talk things out more in the next episodes. There's still 4 episodes anyway; I suppose that's plenty of time for me to be (pleasantly) surprised.

[shedp]

58 minutes ago, meiil said:

 

But the thing is this is her first time experiencing all this, of course she's super awkward and inept.. it would too unrealistic to have her deal with this new situation as an experienced woman. Same goes with SH, he might have the experience but for him this is also a first time. He's coming into a new relationship after 12 years of being single and full of emotional issues, he can't deal with JH and their new status like a normal 38 years man would do.

They are both inept when it comes to love but they are learning now.

 

Even the sister in -law noticed how they do feel like a teenage couple, bc that's exactly what they are experiencing now in order to become a mature couple by the end of their process.

 

The show itself is called Because This is My First Life for a reason.

 

 

I agree with you. JH's dating experience has been elaborated on the show ever since - that she has a zero experience with everything. Even her having a crush with the same guy for 3 years, she never tried to flirt back or show that she has a bit of attraction to the guy, telling everyone that she only treats him as a brother where in fact she liked him for three years. What I mean is, she doesn't even know how to act like what others do at her age. Even the very basic form of flirting, she couldn't do that to her crush. What more if it's love? She can't be the first one to initiate such actions that's why she needs someone else to do it for her.

On the other hand, like what you've said, 12 years of being single and having issues are big factors that affected SH. He couldn't express his feelings and actions directly and wholly to JH because of those. It's like he's getting rusty with all the dating experiences he had, that's why he needed to ask WS what are the things people now do on dates, because he's been lost and locked up for 12 years. Years of no flirting or courting anyone would really make you forget about everything. Knowing that he already decided to have a life of repetition in which wake, eat, work, sleep then die has been his wish for his life to go through until JH changed everything. 

You're right, it is the first for the both of them. It's like what SG said before, "reset, format, reboot". They are now experiencing something new that is on reset, formatted and rebooted that can't be compared with the past, as they are different. Because everything that they are experiencing with each other is considered a first for them. 

 

[rembrandtz_5e20]

My favourite part of EP11 has to be the poem The Visitor. It speaks so much of JH's ability to love and willingness to heal SH even though she knows she is exposing herself to all the emotional baggage this man is carrying. 

The version that was narrated in the drama omitted the last two lines, which is a pity, because it speaks like JH. 

Spoiler

I couldn't find a sensible english translation of the complete poem, but some one did a Chinese translation. So with the double translation, there may be some deviations. 

방문객 -정현종

사람이 온다는 건
실은 어마어마한 일이다
그는
그의 과거와
현재와
그리고
그의 미래와 함께 오기 때문이다
한 사람의 일생이 오기 때문이다
부서지기 쉬운
그래서 부서지기도 했을
마음이 오는 것이다 - 그 갈피를
아마 바람은 더듬어 볼 수 있을 마음,
내 마음이 그런 바람을 흉내낸다면
필경 환대가 될 것이다.

 

It's an incredible thing for a person to come.

That person...

And that person's past

And the present.

Also,that person's future comes attached.

A person's entire life comes.

The heart that is easily broken,

Or perhaps, have been broken,

Is coming.

Perhaps the wind can soothe that heart.

If my heart can become that wind,

I will treat that heart with great hospitality. 

 

 

Having watched EP12 with subs, I think i can relate to how some of you are feeling nervous about SH and the ex. The sadness in his eyes made me fear for JH's naivity and vulnerability. 

 

But having SH face his ex is necessary for him to reaĺly progress on with JH. He needs to find out for himself who he really loves now is JH.