Ask The Fellas

[MrPower]

quick question. Why would a guy like a girl for six years when they're not really that close?

Would he? Depends, but that's possible.

[sujuAngeL]

^I think so. Because a guy confessed to me. we're on different paths in life now. We rarely talk and see each other. I asked him once what he knows about me and boy he got a hard time answering. But, honestly, we liked each other before w/o the commitment. But, that was six years ago. Ain't it a long time?

Let me make another question. Why won't he try to like someone other than me in that span of years? He knows he has small hope on me.

[Guest celery]

A couple questions that'd be very helpful if answered

1. In your past experiences, or in general, what makes you begin to become attracted to a girl? Basically, what made you notice her out of the everyone else?

2. How do you feel about girls actively going after you? Or girls actively starting convos/creating interaction either online or in real life?

3. Older girls? Yay or Nay and why?

4. What's the appropriate amount of physical contact from moderate-good friends (girls)? Does more physical contact = sexual arousal = takin' a liking to specific girl? (not to the point where she's whoring herself out, but just lots of contact).

Thanks in advance!

[Guest TuxedoBento]

celery:

1. Honestly, as shallow as it sounds, unless I've known the girl for a long time the first thing I think any of us will notice about someone else is their looks. Something about the way she carries herself and her smile that makes me think how I wouldn't mind sitting across from her having a coffee or riding a ferriswheel. I don't know... I kind of create my own dramas in my head. >.>

2. I personally like it when girls show interest but not so much to the point that she's showing interest to everyyy guy (ie easy). If she shows that she's at least remotely interested in me then it's like the green light for me to pursue sometimes. Being kind of a shy introvert, it's kind of how my first girlfriend and I met (she stalked and borderlined sexually assaulted me, but she'd argue differently >.>).

3. Age isn't too big of a deal when I think about it as long as you're in the same place in life. I think that's the key. If the guy's just starting college and the girl's thinking about starting a family then there might be some conflicts.

4. Well... from friends... I'd say nothing sexual or hand holding. Hugs, carries, playfights...? And it depends on the guy and girl, if the guy doesn't feel sexually attracted to his friend (if that's how he really sees her) then really no amount of rubbing up next to him will make him like her... I mean, maybe it might end up being a drunken mistake though. 

[Guest NONONOM]

tuxedo: haha thx, he was always an richard simmons sumtimes, depends on his mood? i dunno..

but ya thx, i'll figure out the rest on my own =)

[Guest yanni~]

1. In your past experiences, or in general, what makes you begin to become attracted to a girl? Basically, what made you notice her out of the everyone else?

Her smile comes not from her mouth but from her eyes.

There's something mesmerizing about her eyes ^^

How she treat the others. Is she nice or bean pie?

But i think first what i will notice is still her look.

2. How do you feel about girls actively going after you? Or girls actively starting convos/creating interaction either online or in real life?

It all depends on the guy. Some guys like to make the first move, sometimes to be in control, or because of their perceived gender roles, or for some other reason. Other guys want the girl to go first, which could be because of shyness, wanting to make sure the girl is comfortable with it, or something else. Each male is different, so you should try to find out what the individual man wants, by either being discreet or not. It's about your preference just as much as his.

I myself like to approach a girl. I like if the girl is flirting with me and show some intersts, but i dont know why i am kind of against that she make the first move. Make me feel not that comfortable with it.

3. Older girls? Yay or Nay and why?

Men date older women for distinct reasons. One reason is because they desire to be with someone who could be like a "mother figure" for them. Guys like older girls because they know how to treat them right. They behave more like women. Older women are better/more active in bed ^^

But for myself, i will prefer a younger girl. Because i tend to like the feeling of being the protector, i wanna take care of someone. Its the whole issue of dominance, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just makes me feel more manly

4. What's the appropriate amount of physical contact from moderate-good friends (girls)? Does more physical contact = sexual arousal = takin' a liking to specific girl? (not to the point where she's whoring herself out, but just lots of contact).

If she's open with other guys when she talks, she MIGHT be trying to mess with a guys mind. Girls like doing that. I hate to say it, but I did that for two straight years with a girl that really liked me. I finally told her to f*** off (I was getting tired of screwing with her). Knowing from experience, she might be doing the same kind of thing. If she's open with others, then she's probably messing with a guy. She's a female, so she might not do that around the guy she likes because females know how guys work, for the most part.

[MrPower]

^I think so. Because a guy confessed to me. we're on different paths in life now. We rarely talk and see each other. I asked him once what he knows about me and boy he got a hard time answering. But, honestly, we liked each other before w/o the commitment. But, that was six years ago. Ain't it a long time?

Let me make another question. Why won't he try to like someone other than me in that span of years? He knows he has small hope on me.

6 years is awhile. This guy either hasn't been seeing other girls or has tunnel vision.

Maybe you're exactly what he's looking for? Maybe he thinks that if he shows enough resolve, you'll give in and accept him. Or just maybe... you're somebody he hasn't been able to obtain? Maybe he's in it for the chase?

Whatever the case, it doesn't seem like his feeling will fade.

A couple questions that'd be very helpful if answered

1. In your past experiences, or in general, what makes you begin to become attracted to a girl? Basically, what made you notice her out of the everyone else?

2. How do you feel about girls actively going after you? Or girls actively starting convos/creating interaction either online or in real life?

3. Older girls? Yay or Nay and why?

4. What's the appropriate amount of physical contact from moderate-good friends (girls)? Does more physical contact = sexual arousal = takin' a liking to specific girl? (not to the point where she's whoring herself out, but just lots of contact).

Thanks in advance!

1. Cute + Nice + Intelligent = attraction.

Seriously though, the more attractive you are to me, the more I'll notice you.

2. Normal. They either want to get to know me, want something from me, are bored, or has a crush on me.

3. Yay. But I prefer younger. Honestly, a huge age gap would be impossible because we would be in different stages of life. But at this age, I don't want to be with somebody looking for marriage in the near future.

4. brief hug unless they're crying. that's the limit. For some guys, yes. For me, no. The more contact you have = the more I'm wary of that girl.

[Guest LoveDream]

So I went to a dance with my crush and in the car ride back home he asked me , "You cold?" and basically put his hand over mine. Through out the whole car ride he was just holding/playing with my hands ^///^ Would a guy do this to any girl just to help warm her up? Or could it potentially be a gesture that hints that he is (even a tiny bit) interested in her?

[Guest kimseo]

Just a series of questions if you guys don't mind. :3 You're all awesomeee <3

1. If a girl you've known for a week (but have talked/texted a lot) asked you to "hang out"--just the two of you--how would you interpret that?

2. What does it mean when a guy asks to use a girl as a pillow (lays his head on her lap)? (Context: We were on a couch in a large lounge, alone, just chatting, and he was feeling slightly light headed.)

3. I asked this guy I've been flirting with if he was going to a debate tournament this weekend, and he said he probably won't since he has to catch up on other work. But after I told him I was going (he asked me if I was) to help out, he said he's "definitely going to stop by." Is he trying to see me or am I over analyzing this? :s

[Guest TuxedoBento]

LoveDream: Are you stupid??? Of course he likes you!! Gawdddd!!! LOL 

kimseo: 

1. She likes my company enough to ask me to hang out but not necessarily as a date.

2. He likes your lap...

3. Well, we'll have to see if he keeps his word. If he does, he sounds like he's definitely interested.

[Guest kimseo]

kimseo: 

1. She likes my company enough to ask me to hang out but not necessarily as a date.

2. He likes your lap...

3. Well, we'll have to see if he keeps his word. If he does, he sounds like he's definitely interested.

Your answer to my second question definitely made me laugh, haha. (: Thank you though! <3 I appreciate your input.

[Guest Siweonn]

Would you get jealous if your girlfriend (of 4 days now) went to a dance party?

More or less if with a guy?

It's a legit dance party. Not just a house with music and random lights.

[Guest TuxedoBento]

Siweon: A bit jealous... and if you're going with one guy then... probably very jealous. =|

[Guest Amuto1120]

Say a girl was of some other race. Would you still date her?

[Guest celery]

Thanks for all the responses on my previous post guys!

One more question:

For those of you who have fallen for your girl best friend (of many years), what cause that jolt for you to realize that you're attracted to her?

Thanks

[Guest byess]

I feel really silly and embarassed for asking this , but I am curious . Occasionally my boyfriend will mention how hot or attractive a celebrity or another girl is . It sort of hurts me , but I just go like "Ohh ,yeah ? " . I feel like a big baby for crying about it sometimes . And criticize myself for being so sensitive . Like , I can't compare (to those people) . I know most would say "Well , it doesn't matter, because he's with you" .  Does it mean much, when guys say this ? What exactly is it trying to say ? Ah ~ thanks (//´Д｀//)>

[lilyphenix]

What's with the staring at a woman and not smiling? Say you frequent the same coffee shop as another regular, apparently at the same hours (early morning), you (the guy) give these intense looks--lasts seconds, but no smile. And you're too far to speak or say hi anyway...

This has been going on for a few weeks... This really puzzles me. Why do you guys do that?

[Guest o2_intake]

Would you get jealous if your girlfriend (of 4 days now) went to a dance party?

More or less if with a guy?

It's a legit dance party. Not just a house with music and random lights.

No. Then again I don't get jealous.

But if you're going to a party wouldn't your bf be going too?

Say a girl was of some other race. Would you still date her?

Yes.

Thanks for all the responses on my previous post guys!

One more question:

For those of you who have fallen for your girl best friend (of many years), what cause that jolt for you to realize that you're attracted to her?

Thanks

Guys and girls can't be best friends. Usually that fact that you call each other best friends means there was always some attraction.. the jolt could be anything like if were to have that feeling for a girl that's just a normal friend or a stranger.

I feel really silly and embarassed for asking this , but I am curious . Occasionally my boyfriend will mention how hot or attractive a celebrity or another girl is . It sort of hurts me , but I just go like "Ohh ,yeah ? " . I feel like a big baby for crying about it sometimes . And criticize myself for being so sensitive . Like , I can't compare (to those people) . I know most would say "Well , it doesn't matter, because he's with you" .  Does it mean much, when guys say this ? What exactly is it trying to say ? Ah ~ thanks (//´Д｀//)>

No need to feel hurt. Next time he says that reply with "She's too good for you so be happy I'm with you out of pity"

What's with the staring at a woman and not smiling? Say you frequent the same coffee shop as another regular, apparently at the same hours (early morning), you (the guy) give these intense looks--lasts seconds, but no smile. And you're too far to speak or say hi anyway...

This has been going on for a few weeks... This really puzzles me. Why do you guys do that?

3 reasons.

-Creeper

-He wants to act all mysterious to get your attention but if he doesn't try to talk to you then he's shy

-He has paralysis of the facial muscles that you need to smile

[lilyphenix]

@o2_intake: Thanks! I'm shy, too, and I don't smile either when our eyes meet. Might speak to him one of these days, though. It's getting ridiculous.

[Guest o2_intake]

@o2_intake: Thanks! I'm shy, too, and I don't smile either when our eyes meet. Might speak to him one of these days, though. It's getting ridiculous.

lol i was going to say something but it wouldn't be appropriate hahaha