[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요

[irilight]

 

source: Lee Chae-Mi twitt.

 

 

[ayselluna]

By the way, I wonder what happened to Hae-gang's phone, which she'd dropped in front of Seol-ri's house...  She was shown walking away without even trying to pick it up.

Or did I miss something?

[irilight]

@ayselluna, I am sorry. I don't know. Maybe I need to re-watch that segment.

 

Looks like this weekend SR will get it from HK's mom - which is probably the reason HK orchestrated for her mom to come over and SR to come over.

 

source

 

Edited September 4, 2015 by irilight

[Misstwilightfan1416]

Credit: SBSNOW

Edited September 4, 2015 by Misstwilightfan1416

[zenya22]

E

"as the saying goes: If you loves someone, let them free. If they belong to you, they'll come back."

For me, that statement is just is so wayward and maybe hurtful if if just thrown to others as such . Will I say that to anyone a friend, a family who is going through a hard time or separation in their marriage? No, I would not. 

I would not, either. But ironically, based on what we are told about this drama, this is what ended up happening. And I totally agree with you, that part of setting someone else free - totally without expectations - is to be free of attachment to the result. There is a saying "Bless him and Release him" - that is what I meant. And I do know it is a hard hard thing to do. It is a process - not something or a mindset that can happen over-night.

I understand what you and just about everyone here say - that HK barely holds herself together with her pain. Still, it is very hard for me to relate to her with her level of nastiness, let alone - like her.  Relationship and marriage certainly is based on trust - and these two show that they are no longer trustworthy to each other. Just as HK follows him, and want to see him reject SR's advances, and is relieved when initially he does - so does he not expecting to drink lemon water that came from the toilet. (yes, @hibiscus23  I too, found it gross)   Also, in a marriage there is a level of support for each other, and sharing.  I don't know if what JE wanted - as you stated for HK to have comforted him. But in my mind - she has also "left that marriage" when she built all those walls around her - being detached and unresponsive. Marriage is about sharing, the good and the bad, the joy and the sadness. She is not there to share with him her sadness - which is what I believe he wanted. I do agree with you, that she is now trying - in her own way, but it is too late.

 

@irilight what I see based on this drama are 2 people in deep pain and who barricaded themselves from the other and dealing with their pain in escapist solution, one in silent blame and one in denial. And one of them wants to cut out and the other wants to work out the problem. They never really ever communicated. Relationships are complicated especially in a societal environment where close family ties are involved in the relationship.. JE cries a lot and he judges and as stated by many posts because she does not grieve the way he does. He finds himself a fresh thing and wallah, problem solved. HK is a bad person, a bad wife and because she is not whom he wants her to be so off he goes to the young one. OK. I still think he is an richard simmons who takes the easy way out. I do not condone HK's way of punishment but her wall of control is finally breaking down and  could become out fo control. It is a cry for help. Her husband is the one person who could have helped her but he is now engrossed in his own solution. Having an affair with a young thingy. So it is too late. Let us just say we agree to disagree.

[-jade-]

E

"as the saying goes: If you loves someone, let them free. If they belong to you, they'll come back."

For me, that statement is just is so wayward and maybe hurtful if if just thrown to others as such . Will I say that to anyone a friend, a family who is going through a hard time or separation in their marriage? No, I would not. 

I would not, either. But ironically, based on what we are told about this drama, this is what ended up happening. And I totally agree with you, that part of setting someone else free - totally without expectations - is to be free of attachment to the result. There is a saying "Bless him and Release him" - that is what I meant. And I do know it is a hard hard thing to do. It is a process - not something or a mindset that can happen over-night.

I understand what you and just about everyone here say - that HK barely holds herself together with her pain. Still, it is very hard for me to relate to her with her level of nastiness, let alone - like her.  Relationship and marriage certainly is based on trust - and these two show that they are no longer trustworthy to each other. Just as HK follows him, and want to see him reject SR's advances, and is relieved when initially he does - so does he not expecting to drink lemon water that came from the toilet. (yes, @hibiscus23  I too, found it gross)   Also, in a marriage there is a level of support for each other, and sharing.  I don't know if what JE wanted - as you stated for HK to have comforted him. But in my mind - she has also "left that marriage" when she built all those walls around her - being detached and unresponsive. Marriage is about sharing, the good and the bad, the joy and the sadness. She is not there to share with him her sadness - which is what I believe he wanted. I do agree with you, that she is now trying - in her own way, but it is too late.

 

@irilight what I see based on this drama are 2 people in deep pain and who barricaded themselves from the other and dealing with their pain in escapist solution, one in silent blame and one in denial. And one of them wants to cut out and the other wants to work out the problem. They never really ever communicated. Relationships are complicated especially in a societal environment where close family ties are involved in the relationship.. JE cries a lot and he judges and as stated by many posts because she does not grieve the way he does. He finds himself a fresh thing and wallah, problem solved. HK is a bad person, a bad wife and because she is not whom he wants her to be so off he goes to the young one. OK. I still think he is an richard simmons who takes the easy way out. I do not condone HK's way of punishment but her wall of control is finally breaking down and  could become out fo control. It is a cry for help. Her husband is the one person who could have helped her but he is now engrossed in his own solution. Having an affair with a young thingy. So it is too late. Let us just say we agree to disagree.

@zenya22 Well said there chingu. JE took the road with least resistance for himself. And he broke down his own wall of immoral resistance as well. What he didn't realize is that he's simply jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Short-sighted and shallow-minded solution. For a research professor, I'm really really surprised at this outcome. Although, TBH, we don't know how hard and how long he has tried to reach out to HK to grieve together. I'm not saying that 'having tried' is sufficient for anyone to overlook and condone what he has done - cheating when the going gets tough, and dumping the wifey in the process. 

Under normal circumstance, this marriage would be over and the couple would be free and clear of each other forever. There'd be no turning back. Under normal mindset, I'd not have wished for their reunion, much less for them to fall in love all over again. Yet, there's hope for them, and yet, I welcome this hope for them, which the plot dictates and as we've been shown in the synopsis and character description. And under the scenario of accident and amnesia, I thought it was pretty clever of jakganim to develop her story in this credible way. JJang! 

 

[zenya22]

E

"as the saying goes: If you loves someone, let them free. If they belong to you, they'll come back."

For me, that statement is just is so wayward and maybe hurtful if if just thrown to others as such . Will I say that to anyone a friend, a family who is going through a hard time or separation in their marriage? No, I would not. 

I would not, either. But ironically, based on what we are told about this drama, this is what ended up happening. And I totally agree with you, that part of setting someone else free - totally without expectations - is to be free of attachment to the result. There is a saying "Bless him and Release him" - that is what I meant. And I do know it is a hard hard thing to do. It is a process - not something or a mindset that can happen over-night.

I understand what you and just about everyone here say - that HK barely holds herself together with her pain. Still, it is very hard for me to relate to her with her level of nastiness, let alone - like her.  Relationship and marriage certainly is based on trust - and these two show that they are no longer trustworthy to each other. Just as HK follows him, and want to see him reject SR's advances, and is relieved when initially he does - so does he not expecting to drink lemon water that came from the toilet. (yes, @hibiscus23  I too, found it gross)   Also, in a marriage there is a level of support for each other, and sharing.  I don't know if what JE wanted - as you stated for HK to have comforted him. But in my mind - she has also "left that marriage" when she built all those walls around her - being detached and unresponsive. Marriage is about sharing, the good and the bad, the joy and the sadness. She is not there to share with him her sadness - which is what I believe he wanted. I do agree with you, that she is now trying - in her own way, but it is too late.

 

@irilight what I see based on this drama are 2 people in deep pain and who barricaded themselves from the other and dealing with their pain in escapist solution, one in silent blame and one in denial. And one of them wants to cut out and the other wants to work out the problem. They never really ever communicated. Relationships are complicated especially in a societal environment where close family ties are involved in the relationship.. JE cries a lot and he judges and as stated by many posts because she does not grieve the way he does. He finds himself a fresh thing and wallah, problem solved. HK is a bad person, a bad wife and because she is not whom he wants her to be so off he goes to the young one. OK. I still think he is an richard simmons who takes the easy way out. I do not condone HK's way of punishment but her wall of control is finally breaking down and  could become out fo control. It is a cry for help. Her husband is the one person who could have helped her but he is now engrossed in his own solution. Having an affair with a young thingy. So it is too late. Let us just say we agree to disagree.

 

@zenya22 Well said there chingu. JE took the road with least resistance for himself. And he broke down his own wall of immoral resistance as well. What he didn't realize is that he's simply jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Short-sighted and shallow-minded solution. For a research professor, I'm really really surprised at this outcome. Although, TBH, we don't know how hard and how long he has tried to reach out to HK to grieve together. I'm not saying that 'having tried' is sufficient for anyone to overlook and condone what he has done - cheating when the going gets tough, and dumping the wifey in the process. 

Under normal circumstance, this marriage would be over and the couple would be free and clear of each other forever. There'd be no turning back. Under normal mindset, I'd not have wished for their reunion, much less for them to fall in love all over again. Yet, there's hope for them, and yet, I welcome this hope for them, which the plot dictates and as we've been shown in the synopsis and character description. And under the scenario of accident and amnesia, I thought it was pretty clever of jakganim to develop her story in this credible way. JJang! 

 

Yes under normal circumstances I would not want for them to get back together. I am waiting to see what writernim delivers in the following episode. Referring to Scandal again, there was so much controversy and active discussion in that drama. I think this is going to be the same here.

[ayselluna]

'I Have a Lover' stills

behind the scenes 

cr. baidu

Edited September 4, 2015 by ayselluna

[ayselluna]

'I Have a Lover' making

http://netv.sbs.co.kr/player/netv_player.jsp?uccid=22000141708

 

 

Edited September 4, 2015 by ayselluna

[hibiscus23]

chingus, very true if someone is fated to be with you that's bound to happen but if i were in Kim's shoes i'll fight for my love but there's just a limit, with all that's been happening between her & JJH and seeing that he's so w/drawn now towards her, i may hv to think twice & let him go! LOL i'm single but if this happens to me, i'm forgiving but there are boundaries! but this young woman is i think lacking of good b/ground? i may be wrong & not to sound judgmental here, she's probab smitten with him coz he's been caring n thoughtful to her, i'd probab be attracted too myself but knowing he's married would set me off!

[irilight]

@zenya22,     @jadecloud

I  think it takes two to tango.   I am not trying to change your opinions, but  to express mine, and if need be, as you said "agree to disagree."   

I think that rarely - a breakdown of a marriage is only the result of one of the participants behavior.

Most of you are more compassionate towards HK as the wronged woman.   And yes - I do realize that most likely - even her chilling behavior, is a mask, to enable her to cope, and not break down with her pain.

But just as I am willing to give her some benefit of the doubt because of the circumstances (despite the fact I disliked her behavior), I am also willing too similarly be compassionate with JE, because of his loss and pain.

I believe that neither one of them - was there for their partner when the partner needed them, or at least were not there in a way that that  partner would feel a level of support and love.

Our discussion is really like "what came first the chicken or the egg" type question. And most likely, most of you believe that JE is not justified in having an affair, regardless of the situation, and that makes him the guilty party so to speak.

To me, the way the material is being presented, it makes me want to look at the situation, and learn more, and do my best to understand them both.  Granted, I am swaying in his favor - but not because I like the idea of infidelity (I dislike it, just as you all do) - but because I so much dislike her behavior, and I can relate to both of them, with their level of pain.

What will happen in the future we don't know, but we have lots of questions. They fall in love again with each other when she is under amnesia? What happens when she regains her memory, would be the first question that comes to my mind - now that we saw the background for the break up of the marriage.

@ayselluna    Thank you for the lovely stills and BTS.  Love them.... 

source

 

[ayselluna]

 

@ayselluna    Thank you for the lovely stills and BTS.  Love them.... 

 

 It's my pleasure...

 

New stills...

cr. naver

Edited September 5, 2015 by ayselluna

[kiefshi1056]

@zenya22,     @jadecloud

I  think it takes two to tango.   I am not trying to change your opinions, but  to express mine, and if need be, as you said "agree to disagree."  

I think that rarely - a breakdown of a marriage is only the result of one of the participants behavior.

Most of you are more compassionate towards HK as the wronged woman.   And yes - I do realize that most likely - even her chilling behavior, is a mask, to enable her to cope, and not break down with her pain.

But just as I am willing to give her some benefit of the doubt because of the circumstances (despite the fact I disliked her behavior), I am also willing too similarly be compassionate with JE, because of his loss and pain.

I believe that neither one of them - was there for their partner when the partner needed them, or at least were not there in a way that that  partner would feel a level of support and love.

Our discussion is really like "what came first the chicken or the egg" type question. And most likely, most of you believe that JE is not justified in having an affair, regardless of the situation, and that makes him the guilty party so to speak.

To me, the way the material is being presented, it makes me want to look at the situation, and learn more, and do my best to understand them both.  Granted, I am swaying in his favor - but not because I like the idea of infidelity (I dislike it, just as you all do) - but because I so much dislike her behavior, and I can relate to both of them, with their level of pain.

What will happen in the future we don't know, but we have lots of questions. They fall in love again with each other when she is under amnesia? What happens when she regains her memory, would be the first question that comes to my mind - now that we saw the background for the break up of the marriage.

@ayselluna    Thank you for the lovely stills and BTS.  Love them.... 

source

 

she always looks good and never fail me on her acting love to see more of her after this series. hope she got the role of the remake of Chinese drama bubuyouxin

[-jade-]

@zenya22,     @jadecloud

I  think it takes two to tango.   I am not trying to change your opinions, but  to express mine, and if need be, as you said "agree to disagree."   

I think that rarely - a breakdown of a marriage is only the result of one of the participants behavior.

Most of you are more compassionate towards HK as the wronged woman.   And yes - I do realize that most likely - even her chilling behavior, is a mask, to enable her to cope, and not break down with her pain.

But just as I am willing to give her some benefit of the doubt because of the circumstances (despite the fact I disliked her behavior), I am also willing too similarly be compassionate with JE, because of his loss and pain.

I believe that neither one of them - was there for their partner when the partner needed them, or at least were not there in a way that that  partner would feel a level of support and love.

Our discussion is really like "what came first the chicken or the egg" type question. And most likely, most of you believe that JE is not justified in having an affair, regardless of the situation, and that makes him the guilty party so to speak.

To me, the way the material is being presented, it makes me want to look at the situation, and learn more, and do my best to understand them both.  Granted, I am swaying in his favor - but not because I like the idea of infidelity (I dislike it, just as you all do) - but because I so much dislike her behavior, and I can relate to both of them, with their level of pain.

What will happen in the future we don't know, but we have lots of questions. They fall in love again with each other when she is under amnesia? What happens when she regains her memory, would be the first question that comes to my mind - now that we saw the background for the break up of the marriage.

@irilight Oh dear chingu-yah...I must have been remissed in expressing my POV re JE and therefore it appeared (to you) that the party at fault is JE, not HK. By not addressing the situation re HK, it must have been seen as 'silence being acquiescence'.  

That is not so. In fact, I agree with you  that 'it takes two to tango' and much of what you've commented.. I've previously commented that there probably were some other cracks in their marriage that resulted in HK being cold, ruthless and aloof, and in JE being flippant, intolerant and unfaithful. Both parties have their shortcomings. Both parties badly needed a third party mediator, but alas, there wasn't any. Instead, what came between them is a third party 'intruder' in the form of SR.

One thing is certain though, cheating is never justifiable. In a morally upright and rational world, cheating is wrong and harmful to all parties. Also, in here, the party who has erred to a higher degree is JE. If HK were at fault for being neglectful, being unfeeling and being an ambitious workaholic, then JE would be at fault for being intolerant, insensitive and impatient. But more than that, JE's greater fault would be crossing the line and finding comfort in another woman's arms. 

Having said the above, what's happening is that we as viewers are really neither looking for a needle in a haystack, nor who to blame or dislike. Though we do have our own bias. Rather, like you said, we are trying to understand how and what happened and where a love that was once beyond restraint, that was once undying, could deteriorate into mutual pain and hatred. And hence, the intrigue lives on till we know more...arghhhh, I can't wait for the next ep  

[Misstwilightfan1416]

https://nekosdrama.wordpress.com/2015/09/05/i-have-a-lover-first-impression/

 

[irilight]

@jadecloud chingu. Thank you for your answer.    I do agree with you (and others) that cheating is never justifiable.

I think this writer will challenge our way of looking at things. Already, only 4 episodes and we are debating among each other and in our own hearts.

Something I did not catch from watching the drama, but was brought up in the First Impression article that @Misstwilightfan1416 posted above (thank you for that, and the videos!), is that the child died because of HK. (and it does not give us details) - but just with this additional piece of  information - I look at both HK and JE differently,, as this new information (for me) better explains their individual reactions.

Episode 5 preview

 

[ayselluna]

Something I did not catch from watching the drama, but was brought up in the First Impression article that @Misstwilightfan1416 posted above (thank you for that, and the videos!), is that the child died because of HK. (and it does not give us details) - but just with this additional piece of  information - I look at both HK and JE differently,, as this new information (for me) better explains their individual reactions.

 

 

It is nowhere mentioned that Hae-gang was responsible for the child's death, so I guess the above is just the author's assumption based on Jin-eon's condemnatory treatment of his wife, while there may have been quite other causes for it.

[andy78]

started ...Seol-Ri  touched JE to check her temperature...HK and her mom arrived and saw the 2 of them...Hk entered in house and her mom started to interogate them...uncomfortable moments ...HK also checks her husband temperature...he needs to rest Hk said and takes JE in their room...Hk tells him her mom will stay with them...HK mom realised something is not ok ...has a talk with that shameless girl...she saved SR number in her phone...

[valsava]

started ...Seol-Ri  touched JE to check her temperature...HK and her mom arrived and saw the 2 of them...Hk entered in house and her mom started to interogate them...uncomfortable moments ...HK also checks her husband temperature...he needs to rest Hk said and takes JE in their room...Hk tells him her mom will stay with them...HK mom realised something is not ok ...has a talk with that shameless girl...she saved SR number in her phone...

Hello Lovers

@andy78,  Thanks for the recap.

HK is better then me because 'll be whopping SR but..  First off I don't care how much of a crush she has on my husband but she cross the line coming to m home.. 

[kiefshi1056]

I really want to slap the SEOL RI GIRL, she has the nerve to do that who do she think she is . I want the accident to happen already so they would be back in each other arms . sorry please recap why did HK child die?  and what is the role of the  other guy?