[Drama 2015/2016] I Have A Lover 애인있어요

[tambui]

JE & WJ

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[tambui]

 

Our WJ 

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[lclarakl]

1 hour ago, lenet said:

 

I refer to your original post to which I was commenting on.  There was nothing about : I'm talking about when someone tells you something and honoring what they requested.  

Your post mentioned "Even in college, JE did whatever JE wanted to do--he never asked HG, he just took what he wanted and forced HG to comply. He didn't ask HG, he just did it--which we've seen a lot of in the past 30 episodes; especially the yanking and pulling HG around."    And so I tried to recall the colleges scenes and I can only remember 3 college scenes : 1) the library scene where he waited before planting a surprise kiss on her. 2) the bus chasing scene 3) the hostel scene.  There wasn't any pulling or yanking or compelling HK when she told him to do something in the library scene or the bus scene. He just planted a surprise kiss which she didn't entirely dislike it.  Of course he didn't and he shouldn't ask HK otherwise it would be so major boring! I don't know how he can yank or pull her from the moving bus.  So the third likely scene is the hostel scene.  Here, he didn't go home as she asked because he need urgently to tell her personally and maybe give her a hug for the last time as he is leaving for army.  Again, it was a playful, surprise kiss between two lovebirds.  And he didn't force himself on her.  He leaves the hostel, he did not compel her to let him sleep there.  So like you said, it make no sense to say he did whatever he want and forced HK to comply.  

 

On December 17, 2015 at 7:40 AM, lclarakl said:

 

Which is one of the reasons I have a problem with his excuses of not returning sooner.  When JE chased after HG in college, was extremely bold and confident in his actions towards HG, a woman who showed no interest in him (stilling kisses in a public place, shouting about body contact while she was on a bus, sneaking into her dorm). JE is also extremely smart in his own right. I don't get the impression that JE felt inferior to HG, however, you can definitely see that behavior in SR. JE knows that HG is not easily swayed by a man or enters relationships lightly. He really thinks another man would be in her life with her attitude as he knew her then? Extremely doubtful.  JE had no doubt that HG loved him...zero doubt. He didn't leave her because he thought she didn't love him, he left her because he resented/hated her at that time.

The person who probably felt inferior in the relationship was HG. Which would explain her desire to always win to matter what--even if it meant cheating to prove herself. Would explain what she looked down on others--had to constantly show she was better than others; probably why she couldn't show compassion. She was receiving hate from JE's father and mother and from his sister, she and her mother was in debt; her mother probably doing things to make her feel shamed, so in order to cover up for feeling inferior to JE and others, she overcompensated with her superior knowledge.

 

The reason JE keeps making mistakes, IMO and from what I've observed is because he only sees things from how he feels. Even in college, JE did whatever JE wanted to do--he never asked HG, he just took what he wanted and forced HG to comply. He didn't ask HG, he just did it--which we've seen a lot of in the past 30 episodes; especially the yanking and pulling HG around. To be honest, I don't find that type of forceful attitude romantic. What's sad is he was  with her 15 years and still doesn't know how to reach her. How is it possible that BS could? He said he did it before, he could do it again--only he has the manual to unlocking her.....BS?  I don't get the impression that HG visited BS with the intention of asking for help, I think as the two of them spoke she let her guard down. I do feel she was drawn to him as her lighthouse--she just needed to be around him and because she knew him overhearing what she said earlier, may cause him to drink at the office--they know each other emotionally. I've felt that with every visit when she's with BS, there are little facial expressions that indicate his words are impacting and hurting her.

I have to wonder what type of relationship did JE an HG ever have to begin with? It wasn't healthy. It didn't inspire HG to become a better person. It wasn't one where "love" (so unbelievable/and unsupported) was ever spoken. It wasn't one where secrets where shared.  He knew the physical body HG, but he never knew the emotional HG.

 

 

@lenet,  As you know that comment is an evolution of our back and forth conversations and me in an effort to get you to understand one simple fact, that JE does whatever JE wants.  Did college JE ask HK could he come to her room? Yes. Her response? No. JE's action? He did what he wanted to do and paid a guy to let him into her dorm room.

Did JE ask HK to let him into her hotel room? Yes. HK's response? No. JE's response?  He steals a hotel key and let himself into her room.  

Does JE know HK doesn't want him in her hotel room? Yes. JE's response?  He gets the room service guy to trick HK into letting himself into her room.  HK's response? She doesn't want to eat? JE's response, he forcefully removes her coat and pulls her into the room to eat. Push her into a seat and puts a spoon in her hand. HK's response? She puts the spoon down and you can see she's angry. JE's response? He hands the spoon back to her.  HK's response? She knocks the spoon out of his hands and tries to stand. JE's response? He tries to force her to stay and eat.  HK's response? She tries to walk away. JE's response? He tries to stop her by hugging her to which she struggles against. HK's response? She listens to him and then using trickery, lies to him and says she will eat. JE's response? He lets her go.  HK's response? She slaps him and pick up her coat and bag and leaves.  

This is JE's behavior for 20 episodes.

JE does not honor what people want. He's wanting to do things his way and not respecting her anger. It's not his place to dictate how she will forgive him, it's her call.  JE to me is just a suffocating personality and his love is smothering. If this how the BS bashers felt, then I get were you're coming from. Because JE is 100 times worse.  I think I now know why HK told him not to love her too much.

[Katrina Abdul Talib]

1 hour ago, chubbychub1966 said:

New stills. What's up with HK

Cr. SBS

Love HK2.0 style though 

Has tht disappointing expression. Who knows? She suddenly noticed JE picketing infront of the building with a huge "I LOVE YOU HK, FORGIVE ME  COME BACK TO ME" banner? He does all sorts of strange things?

[Lmangla]

37 minutes ago, lclarakl said:

1 hour ago, Lmangla said:

kekeke... you really love BS don't you? well I won't blame you. in scandal, I was so enamored of the second lead MB and worried about his fate, that everyone on the forum laughingly referred to him as my puppy. hahahah   that said, it is not about whether BS is a better man or if he makes a better partner compared to JE. it is always been that JE made her heart thump, while BS was her friend. this writer never confuses the two in all her previous dramas and she has a healthy respect for friendships. in scandal, there was no triangle and the second lead and girl were friends from beginning to end. in all that glitters, the second lead was one crazy girl but the guy was always firm and clear -- sorry, you are not who I am interested in. so unless the writer dramatically changes her writing style, BS will remain her friend and he will know exactly where he stands till the end.

 

No doubt, BS is most definitely my little schmookiedoodle....

The point that I was making is that in order for a relationship to work, it has to be more than 'love'.  Without those other qualities, a relationship is doomed for failure.  Which is why JE and HK's marriage failed. It was missing several key elements to make it a good relationship. They drifted alone for years. When they finally encountered rough seas, they couldn't survive.  HK became someone that JE didn't like--he hated her.  Then seeing he new improved her, which he didn't do anything to try and make her a better person, he wanted her back.  That's conditional love to me.

I can see the writer bringing JE and HK back together and promising to do things differently. Just have to wonder, how long will it last. Second time around marriages have even a higher divorce rate than first time marriages---and that's without the initial divorcing due to cheating and losing a child in death.

 

well, at least BS is definitely a good guy. kekeke.... MB, the character I liked in scandal was complicated, messed up anti-hero and every week, my post was along the lines of "noooooo MB, don't be tempted by the dark side and become darth varder. you cannot end up in jail because of revenge against your stupid family....." was so happy that he didn't end up in jail and just remained complicated. hahahaha....

so, even if BS does not end up with HK, at least you don't have to worry on those lines. hahahaha

but yes, in order for HK and JE to make it a success a second time around, they both have to deal with issues and resolve them.

 

[chubbychub1966]

EP 32 stills. Ew NO NO NO NO  (the first pic) Looks like they are planning!

EP 32 JE Stills. Poor JE... Just get married with the door geez 

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EP 32 HK stills. She still looks lovely... 

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It looks like she is wearing the same outfit from EP 31 stills just without the red coat. Same goes for JE. 

[lclarakl]

17 minutes ago, chubbychub1966 said:

EP 32 stills. Ew NO NO NO NO  (the first pic) Looks like they are planning!

 

 

 

 

 

Poor JE... Just get married with the door geez 

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EP 32 HK stills. She still looks lovely... 

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YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if it's only pretend in order to deceive the outside world while they plan. 

I hate this though because BS heart is going to be broken.....he really needs to move on, but HK came to him in tears asking for only the help he an provide....oh, well.

UPDate:  @chubbychub1966, your comment about JE marrying the door--hilarious!!!!!!!

 

Sadly, I think this episode will end with JE and HK in bed. If not this episode, it will happen sometime soon. My heart is sinking already.  There is a reason HK is in a hotel and JE is next door. 

[chubbychub1966]

13 minutes ago, lclarakl said:

 

 

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if it's only pretend in order to deceive the outside world while they plan. 

I hate this though because BS heart is going to be broken.....he really needs to move on, but HK came to him in tears asking for only the help he an provide....oh, well.

Sadly, I think this episode will end with JE and HK in bed. If not this episode, it will happen sometime soon. My heart is sinking already.  There is a reason HK is in a hotel and JE is next door. 

 

Haha we polar opposite.
JE deserves this anyway... 

Also, agree with you. BS gets to act as a "fake" boyfriend atm will definitely make him heartbroken (yet again) when he can't anymore. I pity BS. He is a great man and deserves to find someone else to love. I hope he does move on  

Edit: We knew this day would come... the writer prepared it ahead of time... -HK leaves BS and GN house -> lives in hotel room -> JE constantly meeting her there and living next door -> HK cannot withstand hurting JE -> Bed scene. 

[andy78]

i'm glad that JE will feel more pain... he deserves what he gets!!!As i said before this is what i hoped after watching the first 9 ep...i never wanted things to be easy for him...let him fight if he really wants her back...

[Guest lenet]

1 hour ago, lclarakl said:

 

@lenet,  As you know that comment is an evolution of our back and forth conversations and me in an effort to get you to understand one simple fact, that JE does whatever JE wants.  Did JE ask HG could he come to her room? Yes. Her response? No. JE's action? He did what he wanted to do. Did JE ask HK to let him into her hotel room? Yes. HK's response? No. JE's response?  He steals a hotel key and let himself into her room.  Does JE know HK doesn't want him in her hotel room? Yes. JE's response?  He gets the room service guy to trick HK into letting himself into her room.  HK's response? She doesn't want to eat? JE's response, he forcefully removes her coat and pulls her into the room to eat. Push her into a seat and puts a spoon in her hand. HK's response? She puts the spoon down and you can see she's angry. JE's response? He hands the spoon back to her.  HK's response? She knocks the spoon out of his hands and tries to stand. JE's response? He tries to force her to stay and eat.  HK's response? She tries to walk away. JE's response? He tries to stop her by hugging her to which she struggles against. HK's response? She listens to him and then using trickery, lies to him and says she will eat. JE's response? He lets her go.  HK's response? She slaps him and pick up her coat and bag and leaves.  

JE does not honor what people want. He's wanting to do things his way and not respecting her anger. It's not his place to dictate how she will forgive him, it's her call.  JE to me is just a suffocating personality and his love is smothering. If this how the BS bashers felt, then I get were you're coming from. Because JE is 100 times worse.  I think I now know why HK told him not to love her too much.

 

@lclarakl when I comment on a post, I comment on whatever I see or read that was mentioned in the particular post.  That post mentioned college scenes to justify JE's not asking HK and only wanting to do whatever he wants and making HK comply with what he wants and the pulling, yanking. There were no other examples so it is not right for me to comment on what was not mentioned.  I only commented on the college scene and I also don't embellish my comments at that point or later with any other facts or pov etc.

So I racked my brain to find the college scenes and I can remember only the particular three.  The first 2 scenes of 'library'  and 'chasing bus' as I mentioned there was no issue of   "Even in college, JE did whatever JE wanted to do--he never asked HG, he just took what he wanted and forced HG to comply. He didn't ask HG, he just did it--which we've seen a lot of in the past 30 episodes; especially the yanking and pulling HG around."    Those are courting scenes and I believe nobody would have issue with him not asking HG first.  HK wasn't upset by it or is she forced to comply with anything.  HK was amused in fact and I don't think she sees any problem with it.  The third hostel scene is the one I thought you are referring to and there is some ground for you to quote it but that ground is filmsy if the scene is seen in entirety and context again is important.  And I gave a reason as to why it is debatable - why he has to not listen to her saying no. Not because he does not respect her but because he is leaving for enlistment - I don't think I need to explain why he feels it is imperative that he must see her face to face.   And I showed how he was respectful, he was willing to do what she wanted after letting her know his important message. 

You answered that you only want to look at the first part and so I said it is not fair to judge looking at partial scene only.  That was my point regarding the 3rd college scene.  Just that according to the first post, to the point.  If you have quoted other better examples, that I won't perhaps comment but the college scene, I feel that it is debatable.

[Lmangla]

3 hours ago, DelroyB said:

In conclusion in Kdrama land the lover is the last to know.  In fact if you get confided in that a sure sign  You've been Friend Zoned! 

 

LOL.. @delroyB ~ miss the LOL button; this so needs to be added to the list of kdrama rules.

so Q for folks ~ any funny lessons/takeaways that you got from watching this drama so far? besides finding out the most non-breakable phone that can take angst from everyone....

[Katrina Abdul Talib]

1 hour ago, tambui said:

 

Our WJ 

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She's a natural.. Fantastic child actress!

[lclarakl]

3 minutes ago, andy78 said:

i'm glad that JE will feel more pain... he deserves what he gets!!!As i said before this is what i hoped after watching the first 9 ep...i never wanted things to be easy for him...let him fight if he really wants her back...

 

That's what I also wanted, was for him to fight for her. What I did not expect was his initial arrogance and highhanded manhandling.  I expected to see someone carrying 4 years of remorse. I saw none of those things in the smiling JE still with SR in tow. Now because JE wants the woman he left behind who was shown love by another man and bloomed under that love, becoming a better person, he wants her back.  That doesn't sit well with me.  He never did anything to inspire her or try to stop her descent (he thought about it), which started long before her daughter died. Her daughter's death was part of the escalation of her descent.  

Why is it that dramas will show the husband kissing and sleeping with the other woman in an affair, but will never show the once faithful ex-wife in a serious relationship with another man after she's divorced the husband. It never fails that when they want to bring the cheating husband and wife back together, they rarely depict the wife kissing another man. Instead, she unrealistic puts on her chastity belt and waits for her straying husband to return. However, if roles were reversed and the wife cheated, they will show the faithful ex-husband kissing another woman.  Then again, rarely does the husband go back to the cheating wife (Valid Love was an exception--I hate remembering that drama).

As JE is leaning against the door, I really want to tell him remember all the moments of ecstasy he had with SR for the first couple of years.  Because of that woman, there is more suffering to come. 

[Katrina Abdul Talib]

51 minutes ago, lclarakl said:

 

 

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if it's only pretend in order to deceive the outside world while they plan. 

I hate this though because BS heart is going to be broken.....he really needs to move on, but HK came to him in tears asking for only the help he an provide....oh, well.

UPDate:  @chubbychub1966, your comment about JE marrying the door--hilarious!!!!!!!

 

Sadly, I think this episode will end with JE and HK in bed. If not this episode, it will happen sometime soon. My heart is sinking already.  There is a reason HK is in a hotel and JE is next door. 

Don't worry I think whatever HK decides, tho it will break his heart BS will let her decide. I have met this type... my hubby kekeke.. someone who feels there is always a solution for everythg. Don't like to see anyone unhappy...

[tambui]

BS & JE

Spoiler

 

[tambui]

JE & HK

Spoiler

 

[Katrina Abdul Talib]

3 hours ago, DelroyB said:

 

HG  with memories and YK2 without are different personalities.   BS thought he knew what YK2 dream was about. He was wrong,  He thought he knew who YK2 was and was wrong again.   Look at how devastated  BS is when YK goes into cold HG mode.   Would he be able to take that for months on end.   Could he deal with an unrepentant power hungry HG? Also BS just not dealing with any doubts or worries.  He was not under heavy emotional strain. 

Love is many things.  People love and breakup sometimes the come back together sometimes not.  True love is not always easy.  

HG knew JE for 15 plus years. Knew he was sensitive,knew how he felt about his family, the company and she knew his emotional make up.  

I miss SE but if I start to cry I will break down.

vs

I forgot that Kid.

Also

We have the scene  where he tells her they are like broken bolds and they have become weapons  to each other. 

Flowed by garden scene where he ask that they separate 

At anytime she could have just said her true feelings instead of prolonging it.

Later we hear it because she wanted JE to be strong but when your husband is breaking down and crying because he want some emotion from you?

Was that the best you can do?

JE was dealing with an HG who would

BS did mention he wld start with her from Zero, all over again. When YK2 first came, she was not an angel, it was not easy for but she changed her ways anyway. So 2nd time around this time will not be as dificult becos he already has the formula.

I suppose thats what is going to happen. To help HK look at things from other angles. Who knows she may even get to start understanding JE better with BS's help? And BS being who he is may be just the right person to sincerely tell HK that she truly loves JE?

JE is going to learn BS's formula..kekeke..learn how to love others eg his father, sister in short, start learning some manners. 

[lclarakl]

31 minutes ago, lenet said:

 

@lclarakl when I comment on a post, I comment on whatever I see or read that was mentioned in the particular post.  That post mentioned college scenes to justify JE's not asking HK and only wanting to do whatever he wants and making HK comply with what he wants and the pulling, yanking. There were no other examples so it is not right for me to comment on what was not mentioned.  I only commented on the college scene and I also don't embellish my comments at that point or later with any other facts or pov etc.

So I racked my brain to find the college scenes and I can remember only the particular three.  The first 2 scenes of 'library'  and 'chasing bus' as I mentioned there was no issue of   "Even in college, JE did whatever JE wanted to do--he never asked HG, he just took what he wanted and forced HG to comply. He didn't ask HG, he just did it--which we've seen a lot of in the past 30 episodes; especially the yanking and pulling HG around."    Those are courting scenes and I believe nobody would have issue with him not asking HG first.  HK wasn't upset by it or is she forced to comply with anything.  HK was amused in fact and I don't think she sees any problem with it.  The third hostel scene is the one I thought you are referring to and there is some ground for you to quote it but that ground is filmsy if the scene is seen in entirety and context again is important.  And I gave a reason as to why it is debatable - why he has to not listen to her saying no. Not because he does not respect her but because he is leaving for enlistment - I don't think I need to explain why he feels it is imperative that he must see her face to face.   And I showed how he was respectful, he was willing to do what she wanted after letting her know his important message. 

You answered that you only want to look at the first part and so I said it is not fair to judge looking at partial scene only.  That was my point regarding the 3rd college scene.  Just that according to the first post, to the point.  If you have quoted other better examples, that I won't perhaps comment but the college scene, I feel that it is debatable.

 

You and I will NEVER see eye to eye on this topic because it is extremely clear that you have no idea of what I'm saying about JE's behavior. The writer has made this behavior part of JE's character for the past 21 episodes.  No matter how much you like him, his actions are what they are. When I say JE does what JE wants , it is based on facts and what has been shown repeatedly in this drama--manhandling and doing what he wants. JE doesn't know what it means when HK says, no.  The same way he tried to physically force her into his car when she said no. The same way he forced himself in her room at their old house after she told him to live.  First, I didn't like that he just entered the house where he no longer lives and has't lived for 4 years.  He didn't care about respecting the inhabitants of the house by ringing the doorbell.

Also, just because they are in college, doesn't excuse JE's actions. Women think a guy being possessive or showing signs of jealousy is a sign of love. It is to a certain extent, then it could also be a warning sign.  About 43% to 57% dating women in college are in abusive/controlling relationships that starts with boyfriends who disregards their wants and exhibit controlling behaviors.  Again, I know abuse is not the message of this drama and not what the writer intends. However, after working a year with the Department of Social Services and seeing a lot of domestic abuse, the scenes of JE only being able to deal with HK by yanking, pulling and physically forcing her to comply with his will is not romantic to me; most of those scenes are when one or both are angry.

I could have mentioned several scenes, probably from every episode.  I think JE could go a long way in winning HK over if he would allow her to grieve her angry. I'm not saying he doesn't have to try to see her, but he doesn't have to try to force her to accept his presence. They've been divorced for 4 years and he was with SR all those years, whether they were sexually active daily or once a month or 3 months out of the year, really doesn't matter. He immediately leaves one woman and trying to get with the other. He needs to step back and at least show that he's truly sorry to her and SR as he claims.  His actions doesn't seem like a person who is sorry. He seems like a person eager to get into another relationship.

I digress, IMO, noticed I said in my opinion, JE has been depicted in this drama as a person who does only what he wants.

 

[chubbychub1966]

2 hours ago, tambui said:

JE & HK

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So somehow JE manages to get into HK room again... 

This hotel sucks! I need to make sure when I visit SK, I don't stay at that hotel. Anybody can get into your room no problemo  jk jk

[mdj101]

Friday ---  December 18, 2015 --- 1 PM

WOW... So many pages to read!  And less than 24 hours until Episode 31.     Now to catch up in the forum.

EDITED IN LATER:   

I'm re-reading @DelroyB's post on p.421.  I find I agree with a lot that is said there. When I think back, JR herself made a point of saying how everyone knew how crazy JE would become if he ever learned of HK's death. And sure enough, we saw he was out of his mind with grief. Until he caught a glimmer of hope that she MIGHT be alive. I think I need to keep more in mind that JE is a part of a bigger theme the Writer wants to illustrate.  Guess I should try to understand the limits the drama form places on her---even if she had 50 episodes to make her points. 

 Also, I'm trying to remember that I've got to keep in mind this is happening all within a TV drama --- and certain behaviors are "expected" and are even "standard shorthand" in a drama here.  So I've got to pull back and remember the context. Remembering that some things a drama's character may be allowed to do --- would never be entirely acceptable in "Real Life". I've got to prepare for a drama style ending, too. I think pulling back for a bit will make it easier for me.    

 I'm thinking of the "Elements of Style" that Blogger Odessa Jones writes about so well. And things like the way JE "manhandles" HK--- used in IHAL to show the deep love the OTP share, the "arm lock", the "double wrist grab", etc.  The Writer , Director, the actors --- all use the cliche gestures as story telling devices.  So I often have to make an allowance for them in terms of the TV drama.  Sometimes it is hard to remember, I'll admit.  

Spoiler

http://www.akiatalking.com/2015/01/Kdrama-bloglist.html

 

Edited December 18, 2015 by mdj101
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