I cheated on my girlfriend

[pygmyknight]

Actually it is possible to change personality

[Guest sus]

u got issues

stop using the poor girl

break up with her

ur not committed

[BEBE_AN]

i actually feel bad for your girlfriend. she probably recognizes that her physical appearance is not up to par to what you are used to, hence, she feels threatened by your girl friends who shower you with attention. she probably feels even more threatened if those girls are prettier than her. like you said, you're out of her league based on looks. don't you think she probably recognizes this also? it seems like she is not what you are looking for in a girl.

[Guest toiletpaper]

you sound like an immature, irresponsible prick.

to all those people who dont empathize or feel sorry for his gf because she deserved it for being clingy, it seems to me that the OP didn't really give his gf any reason to be able to trust him in the first place. If he would so easily cheat on her like this, what makes you people think that he doesn't flirt with other, maybe more attractive girls because he "likes the attention", etc.

I'm damn sure that most of you would be equally as insecure and clingy as his gf if your s/o liked male/female attention and emphasized appearance as much as the OP does.

either way, this girl doesn't deserve this kind of crap whether or not she really is clingy. her being clingy is much better than what you are; a shallow , egotistical, lying, cowardice boy who doesn't even have the decency to tell her the truth and apologize, hoping she forgives you (only if you really meant it) and if not, then break up with her. do her a favor and let her find a better guy.

[Guest [Deleted User]]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Guest toiletpaper]

Personally, I'm not offended by a little flirting. Flirting would definitely not drive me to controlling behavior. As a girl, I would dump a guy before I would bother trying to control and manipulate him with clingy behavior.

Having dated men that placed a strong emphasis on appearances, it never drove me to manipulative behavior; it drove me to work harder on myself rather than trying to hold the other person back. If I felt my relationship was in jeopardy, the LAST thing I would do would be to continue and worsen the behavior that was pissing my partner off (and pushing him away) to begin with.

Just sayin'.

No one said she deserved to be cheated on. I don't think anyone argued that his cheating on her was not wrong, because it was. I'm saying that there are actions and consequences and if flirtatious behavior was something she could not deal with, she shouldn't have dated a flirt and then all of a sudden expect that behavior to stop. She got in the box what was on the label, no more, no less and her actions exacerbated the situation.

a little flirting is harmless and may even be healthy for the relationship, i agree it isn't a big deal (as long as no one acts on anything). i only brought up that he didnt seem to give his gf any reason to trust him at all because of his mentality. yeah if you're confident that your bf loves you and will do anything he can to prevent hurting you (to the most of his capability), then i think most girls wouldn't have a problem with harmless flirting or with him having friends that are girls. harmless flirting isn't the problem, its the way she views him, herself in the relationship, as well as whether or not she can trust him. my point is that her actions and controlling behavior may have stemmed from her inability to trust him in the first place because i would think that she knew somewhat (assuming she isn't blind or stupid) the OPs feelings pertaining to other more attractive woman as well as him just simply liking attention that he gets from other woman and probably reciprocating. obviously the girl is insecure, not saying thats the OPs problem or fault, but sure he didn't make things any better/easier for her =/

also, i don't know how your previous boyfriends were like, but theres a difference between emphasizing appearance (healthy lifestyle, with a body to reflect that) and simply feeling like your boyfriend would want to be with another more attractive girl (like his ex supposedly and his friends girlfriend). this may be his girlfriends fault for even staying with him (assuming she did feel this way) but love john teshs with peoples minds and she may have thought that if she held on tighter, he wouldnt stray (which obviously isn't the right answer).

either way, i feel sorry for her

[Phrolick]

Respect for keeping it real. Just end it bro, save both of your time.

[Guest trangl]

im a girl and just wanna say u sound like a jerk. but yes everyone makes mistakes so i forgive u . she might be clingy coz shes insecure so talk things through before u do anything coz u might regret it in the future. every girl/woman can look beautiful if she puts the time and effort to do so. just because she doesnt put the effort in, doesnt mean she isnt pretty.

[BingBong_514]

OP, care to update us on what's been happening, regardless of whether you've confessed and made up/not confessed and continued to stay with her/broke up with her/is tormented by the posts from this thread?

[kungkungx3]

im a girl and just wanna say u sound like a jerk. but yes everyone makes mistakes so i forgive u . she might be clingy coz shes insecure so talk things through before u do anything coz u might regret it in the future. every girl/woman can look beautiful if she puts the time and effort to do so. just because she doesnt put the effort in, doesnt mean she isnt pretty.

omgosh i TOTALLy agree with you. I mean yes you made mistakes, and all but your mistakes are kinda too big. 

Well, its normal for guys to just talk to other girls, Im like her too , its becuase i love the guy so much i get really scared, but if you show your commited when you guys are going out, or just do stuff for her, it'll keep her more secure. im sure she is pretty but just cant meet your high standards. personality can actually change people alot, it comes from personal experience and from people around me. i feel really bad for her because she prob was very worried because you dont show eenough to her but to other people. thats why it makes her clingy. but if you relize it you should try to do soemthing to make her stop feeling that way. but anyhow! she isn't the one for you then. 

should be ended not one for you if it sounds like shes not ur type. 

PS: i dont mean to target you,j just in general, because you have ur wants and she has hers. xD

[Guest Phonegeek]

You two need to break up. She's overly possessive and jealous and you... holy hell dude, you cheated on her, you don't think she's beautiful (if she's the one, you'll think she's beautiful no matter what), and you're already thinking about breaking up. I mean what's actually keeping you two together? Familiarity? It doesn't like you two fit each other.

Honestly, her wanting you to dump all of your friends that are girls, and her getting jealous because you were being friendly to her friend ; that's a deal breaker already. In honesty, I probably would have said "let's break up" like you did, but not look back. I don't understand her mentality. Just because you two are in a relationship doesn't mean you can't keep your friends. If someone asks you to do that, that's already a red flag. That's idiotic.

Now lets get to you.

You cheated on her with your ex-gf. It could have been any other girl and it would have been slightly better, but no... it was your ex and that makes it a lot worse. But let's not forget the fact that yes, you cheated on her and that's wrong to no end.

You think she's below you. She like the attention other girls give you. You're judging relationships based on outer appearance. I don't think you're ready for a serious relationship. I think you need to be single for a while until you get that all worked out.

She's not the one for you. I don't even understand how you keep sane with all of her craziness. If it's this rough right now, it's probably not going to get much better when you two get more serious. I think breaking up would be the best for both of you, and eventually you'll find a girl that you really do like and who you'll be proud of.

[Guest milk tea!]

Am I the only one that recognizes this 'problem' has been posted at least 3 different times, and written differently each time?

[Wikkichama]

You really need to break up with your girlfriend because she may not be able to... In fact, even if she does find out about you cheating, she may still like you too much to break it off with you. So the least you could do is be the first one to sit her down and GENTLY talk to her about parting ways.

I know you only posted on soompi to confess and get this incident out there, but you need to deal with the problem too. Talking about it online can only yield so much in results.

[Guest kels.huns]

She's going to be a heck of a doctor one day while you remain a cheater for the rest of your life.

A handsome guy like yourself degrading his girlfriend on Soompi and you're okay with your friends mocking her looks - Idk dude. I feel bad for your girl friend. I wish she would just wise up but she live & she learn. So will you.

I think you should save her the heartache & move on.

[Guest HeRo__]

Actually, nevermind. 

I did not tell my girlfriend and we're still in a relationship.

[mintcracker]

^ You know, she will eventually find out. Stop being a coward and tell her. She deserves that much. You're so shallow, it actually makes me laugh lol. Who cares if you're good looking? You have no morals and your personality sucks. Don't say you love her when you clearly don't .

One can put makeup and look better, but one can never cover up their ugly personality for long. Whatever. Karma baby

[~ BunnyliciouS ~]

Actually it is possible to change personality

You can try that with the OP, looks like he will never change.

[Guest underthewings]

You're hurting her even more with every passing second of you not telling the truth. 

She will find out in the end. It's better for her to find out straight from your mouth rather than from someone else's mouth. 

Stop being such a pansy and man up. 

[Guest Karaamel]

You should just tell her you cheated and let her decide whether you guys should be together or not. It's not up to you, it's her decision that matters cuz you're just wasting her time. You don't give her a reason for her to trust you. Going to dinner with an ex is definitely a no unless it's with a bunch of friends. Just cuz she's mad and ignored your call doesn't mean you can just go over to your ex and decide to NOT tell her that you have a girlfriend. Guys like you are a waste of time and she should know. You didn't even bother bringing her up when you went on your little date with your ex, shows how much you didn't want the relationship with her and how much you wanted to have a fling with your ex. I'm just telling the truth, this is how all women think. Yea it was a mistake, but a mistake that big wouldn't be called a mistake. You could've stopped when she kissed you on the lips and said i have a girlfriend and I don't want to hurt her, but nope, you decided to go on and make out with her. When she invited you into her house, you had another chance to say no, but you went along. I feel really bad for your girlfriend, all she wanted was for you to show her some more affection and allow her to trust you, but you messed all that up. 

[Guest moo_lah]

Actually, nevermind. 

I did not tell my girlfriend and we're still in a relationship.

End it. Now. Damn you make me facepalm hard.