Anything that makes you wanna CRY in your HEART

[Guest AS1AND0LL]

I just left him a few voice messages crying.. it's the final straw. I left him the voice messages because I know that he would never check them.. he never does, so if one day he decides to check them, then he will know why I am no longer in his life. I'm so tired of being hurt, at first it was you who was hurting me but then I realized that I am just hurting myself, telling myself all these lies. I rather believe that you don't want to be with anyone right now but the matter of the truth is.. you don't want to be with me. I know we dated and you still want to remain friends, I tried that with you and it's not working, I tried to be mature about it but it hurts me.. I can't continue to be in this misery anymore. There are days where we don't talk, where I'm just okay without you but when you hit me up with a text or something.. ugh, it makes my heart skip a beat literally. My hopes starts to rise, that's just the idiot within me who feels this way, I'm just a silly girl who has fallen head over heels for you.. and I'm the problem here. This is why I don't remain friends with any of my ex boyfriends, because when I love.. I love hard. You tell me you care, you tell me that you miss me but when I'm in tears.. you just say, "This is my cue to leave.." how can you say that? I don't want your reassurance anymore, stop sugar coating every little thing. I don't even know why I ask you things anymore when I already know the answers to them.. maybe I just want to know if you would be honest with me. I know you're scared to hurt me even more, but I just rather have you be honest.. I know I should move on but I want to hear you tell it to me.. that's just how I am. I'm just one of those people who needs to be hurt in order to grow, am I the only one? Sigh* I sound so crazy typing all of this and this probably won't make any sense to me tomorrow morning when I come back to read this, but this is just how I'm feeling. So one day if you ever do decide to clear your voice messages.. you'll finally know why I left, because I have to do what's best for me.. at least I know that I tried. I'm so hurt by this that I can no longer cry over this anymore, I'm not saying I'm okay.. because the pain is still present but slowly I will get better. I can't keep going back to this older chapter in my life, instead I need to rip out these pages and burn them. Goodbye Kevin.

[DRELLA.]

Came to see him at work today.. only to find out he took the night off for a date with another girl...

[Guest starber]

My step-grandfather whom I watch over on the weekends because he's old, told my step-father that he doesn't like me and calls me useless. Says that he wants to stop seeing me come over to watch him.

People constantly call me stupid and useless. The sad thing is, that I think it is true.

[Guest pondering]

Its a bit hard to admit that after so many years of being best friends, he's finally given up on us.

The hardest part is that I never thought that I would lose him completely. 

One can say that the human heart can be greedy at times, taking to its advantage all the love that it can get, and failing to care on whether or not it planned on reciprocating the very same amount back. That was exactly what I did, and because of what I did,  he was never able to completely let go of me. Now, I'm sitting here, trying with all my might to refrain myself from calling him, and telling my mind to let him go.

[Guest Lana_M]

Just found out the guy I liked, who I haven't seen in 4 years, is a father already. It breaks my heart and I feel like smacking myself for not telling him what I felt while I had the chance so long ago before he moved away... I guess it's time to finally let go of him, even though I don't want to.

[Guest xoxlilyluvsuxox]

Letting it flow away...

[Guest hiswendy]

It sucks to realize that for months he had "fallen out of love" with me but never said anything. It makes me look back at all those moments when I noticed hints of his unhappiness while he was with me, when I asked if anything was wrong, when I tried to make things better, when I felt so incredibly foolish and inadequate because I couldn't make him look at me the way he used to, ...only to learn now that of course he was unhappy--he didn't love me any more. So why didn't he say anything? Why did he say he loved me when he knew he no longer did? Why did he insist that he still loved me, even on those moments when I seriously asked him if he still did? Why did he leave me alone in a relationship where I was still trying to salvage something that apparently was already beyond salvation? Did I make myself that dispensable for him to be able to look me in the face, tell me he loved me, and not mean it at all?

It sucks even more to realize that the only reason he could have "fallen out of love" with me was because he never loved me at all. I understand couples fall out of love naturally when there's mistreatment or dishonesty or trust issues. But for someone to fall out of love with someone who honestly, honestly gave her all to him, seems implausible. And it just boils down to one reason: he was never in love in the first place. He mistook that honeymoon phase, those butterflies in the stomach for love. It sucks to realize that he's immature and unprepared enough for a relationship to not even know the real meaning of that sentence he so often said. He called me his love. He didn't even know the meaning of it. He didn't even know that love takes work, takes commitment. That it cannot be roses all throughout the course of the relationship.

What sucks most is knowing there's no going back. Even if he turned around and told me he was wrong and he realizes now what love really takes, I will never stop thinking at the back of my head that he was able to toss me aside before, what will stop him now? I was dispensable to him and no amount of "I'm sorry's" will erase it completely. And if he doesn't come back, well, can't really do anything about that either.

And that's what makes me want to cry in my heart today (these days, really). Doesn't mean I will. Because a little boy who doesn't understand what love takes and what he had when he had me doesn't deserve my tears.

[Guest kiwimashiro]

i started to talk to my first crush again. we've had so much drama where i almost wrecked one of his relationships, so this time i vowed to keep out. but now i think i might like him.

the worst part is that last night he was so happy that he confessed, and his crush reciprocates his feelings. sigh, i guess i'll have to move on, as usual.

it's been 9 years since we first met. time sure flies...

[Guest justaniceguy]

Yeah, my heart hurts whenever I think of my crush. I did basically everything I can do to get noticed by her, asked her out

everything, and it's just all rejected, no matter how many times I try and how much effort. Very sad to realize I will never have at least a chance

with her, although my heart feels like she's the only one and so perfect. Plus she doesn't treat me all that well. Gosh, I believe in reincarnation,

so maybe I didn't do that good in my last life, I will be better this life, to get a better rebirth, and get a dream girl.

[Guest KatieWatie]

He simply thinks of me as someone who's tomboyish and, plays video games.

I don't talk at all in front of him. He strikes up a conversation, my heart flutters, but I speak out a blunt reply. I internally grow angry at my lack of social skills. The conversation ends.

I watch him as hes laughing and growing closer to the girls.. I'm just that social outcast.

The conversation gets serious when i'm with him because of my monotonous expression that I mask on every single fricking day.

He tries to crack a joke and put on a smooth conversation but I'm always the one who has to end it so soon.

Damn you past.. If I didn't get so bullied back then I would've become a happy, carefree person like the one I am at home. But no.. I'm too scared to face people I'm not close with. I show my true side to my family. And that is all.

He likes feminine girls, I'm no where near that..

He likes girls who suit his outgoing personality.. I can't even smile so naturally anymore..

He likes girls who dress nice and pretty, I'm stuck with jeans and a shirt.

Having a crush is a sad thing. They don't recognize your love for them. You try to refrain yourself from looking at him but it's a hard thing to do.

I want to avoid but I can't. He's in my classes.

I'm not pretty, I have no curves, I'm a nobody. A social outcast which is what I've been for the past 3 years...

It's quite a sad thing that he can't and will never, notice you.

[Guest ohmylamb.]

@KatieWatie I feel you babe! CHEER UP!

For the past few days at work, I've been going crazy. I cried. I put on a black face. IDK what I've done wrong.

On Friday, I felt that the blames pushed to me are unfair. It definitely is. Now the irritant and her gang are avoiding eye contacts with me. I hate the speed of gossip rate here, seriously. On Saturday, this guy told me three things which I hate when I heard it. Two about my personality - of which I was being natural yet he thought I was fake. Another about my work pace when I was already tired out. Today, the same thing happened like yesterday. He said the things I hate. One about my personality. And another two about my work pace. He also gave me a warning hinting that I shouldn't spill secrets.

You see, this guy has been a person I've taken a liking for a long time. Initially, the feelings caught me by surprise because I never had such emotions before. But as days and months pass by, I think that we're different and he likes a person who is totally the opposite of me. This is a wake up call, right? I should stop following him around, and since he said I'm fake, I should be serious like what I am usually. But when I started being serious, he said I'm boring and didn't play around. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ACTUALLY? I also realised what he mentioned to me the other day. People who are nice to you never really mean it. I asked him if he is one of them since he's nice to me, and he replied he did so that I would work. I was hurt so bad and even up till now, I'm heartbroken. Ingenuine and insincere. All this while I thought I was special, but it was for a wrong reason.

You said that you still want me to stay. Yet you're being indecisive too. Why not, we break apart, not see each other, get rid of this meaningless feelings, change priority, discontinue my goals and improve on my living instead? It's nice knowing and liking you. You're a good person but I know I won't have you because we're totally different.

So this is how a workplace is, huh? I'm gonna stay away from SNS since you're away too I don't want you to know ANYTHING about me. I'm not gonna work next week!

[azurette]

Happy that my exbestguyfriend has found a girl that he loves, but I wish I was his first love. He was mine... although unrequited.

[Guest Maaiissterr]

I kind of had an argument with my mother, and she told me that it's my fault that she couldn't go to school. I was the reason why she doesn't have an education and the reason why she can't speak English. She then went on talking about if she knew that I would end up being such a horrible child, she would have thrown me away instead of wasting her energy to raise me because I can't ever do anything for her. It hurts so much to hear that I was the reason that her life is so horrible and the struggles that she goes through.  I know that she probably said that out of anger but I can't help it but wonder if she really meant that because I know that she's not happy. I think I've always notice that there was always this feeling of regret, about my dad and their marriage, kids, and education in her. It really does break my heart hearing my own mother tell me that. I don't know what to do. Should i just forget it and move on?

[Guest saf-safx]

Got rejected from med school!! # Sigh

[Guest ★ rain-a-sky ★]

college is so hard. and it's so lonely. I just want to go home. he makes me feel so bad about myself, emotionally, physically. I don't even have confidence in schoolwork anymore. or any motivation to find internships. or any interest in anything. I miss home. I miss family.

[Guest xhyunheex]

I miss u.

[Guest Whitegata]

When I embarass myself big. Like accidently do something really gross and disgusting in front of a bunch of people (ex spit, drool etc ). How do you even recover from that? People are gonna look see you as The Disgusting Person for the rest of the term 

[Guest Shellsforyou]

I feel like I'll never be accomplished or get a real job. My parents only have daughters so I get the feeling they never want me to be happy, because if I leave then they won't have anyone at all.

[Guest milkteabb]

the most difficult thing to do is LETTING GO.  I know exactly what I need to do. I got all the advice that I could get.  I know that it isn't good for me, but I feel completely hopeless.

I know all it takes is TIME.  Take things hour by hour, day by day, and eventually I will get over him.  How can I let myself "love" someone who mistreated me?  I should respect myself so much more.

[Guest DarkAngelInLove]

Guy I like is seeing someone else T_T