Short Joke Thread

[lovangel]

A worried mom

gives her son

condoms before

a hot date. Her

son laughs, hugs

his mother and

says:

"mom i don't need that...

i'm dating mark.

[Guest small128]

OMG. those are so hilarious!

for some reason, i laughed REALLY hard at the soulja boy joke.

and the dumb blonde jokes.

Here are some:

//What doe smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

You hear about them, but you never see them.

//What's long, hard and has seamen in it?

A submarine.

//Whats goes in hard and comes out sticky?

Chewing gum.

//Why do blondes have bruises around their belly button?

Because their boyfriends are blonde too.

//

Guy: Hi. That shirt is very becoming on you.

Girl: ...Thanks?

Guy: Then again, If I was on you, I'd be-coming too.

//

Guy: That dress looks very good on you.

Girl: Thanks!

Guy: But it would look better on my floor.

thats all i can think of now... jokes for people with dirty minds.

[*heartforme]

=D

There were 3 guys that were talking about the specialty about their nationality.

The Australian guy goes:

Native Kangaroos

The Chinese guy goes:

The Great Wall of China

The Swedish guy goes:

Our green grass

The Australian guy goes:

Well OUR native kangaroos will jump over your Great Wall and richard simmons over your green grass any day.

LOL xD

- Lenaa

[fortyone.]

^

LOL! it could be true.

here's mine: (its lame but i laughed my head off when my friend told me)

what type of chinese food is the heaviest?

WON-TON noodles!~

[Guest nancy_vang]

So if I said,

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms!

and

Why can't Bob run?

Because he's a fish!

Would I be allowed to do that? Or is this thread for the threads with 5 lines? o_o

i don't get this joke......

LOL cuuuute

ahahahaha!! rotflmfao! it's somehow nasty..... though.

[Guest Desperation]

lol, didn't read the rules. Sorry about that.

[KTHubbybunch]

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Lead me not into temptation.

.. coz i already know the way...

[KTHubbybunch]

We always pray for our loves ones

But, we should also find time to pray for our past lovers & hope that they are alive..

ALONE..

& MISERABLE!

hahahaha!!!!

[Guest coolshaybaby]

hey, i dunno if i'm posting this in the right place so please let me know. i read it and thought it was cute. thought i'd like to share.

a sweet looking little girl goes into the pet store and asks the guy who works there

"estuse me, do you sell widdle bunny wabbits?"

he thought it was so cute the way she talked so he kneeled down, patted her head and asked her

"aww....do you want a widdle white bunny wunny or a thoft bwown one?"

the little girl looked at him as if puzzeled then rolled her eyes and said

"i don't tink my python weally gibbs a thit!"

[Guest ohnoitsria]

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Cause all the fans have left.

C:

[Guest MichaRea]

okay this one is from my teacher, i think it's a smart joke..

old man: what's your dad's name?

boy: my dad is laughing.

old man: what's ur mom's name?

boy: my mom is jesting.

old man: are you serious kid? what's ur name?

boy: no, i'm kidding.

[Guest selvaspeedy]

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Cause all the fans have left.

this really cracked me up I dunno

[Guest adorablepanda29]

A kid by chance peeps into his parents' bedroom & is shocked at what he sees...

he shouts at his mom:

"AND YOU SCOLD ME FOR JUST SUCKING MY THUMB!?!" >0<

ahahha thats hilarious!

[Guest elbimbo]

What do you call Bob The Builder when he retires?

BOB.

[Guest pyro]

never knew there was a short joke thread lol....anyways...

How do you keep an A$$HOLE in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow!

[Guest selvaspeedy]

never knew there was a short joke thread lol....anyways...

How do you keep an A$$HOLE in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow!

I didn't get it in the beginning but then I was like

nice one

[KTHubbybunch]

FACT OF THE DAY:

"God made the Earth & the rest is made in China."

[sillyvivian_yo22]

^ ehh... that's not the point.

my bro told me the same exact joke but with USA and Mexicans.... it still sounds pretty offensive...

well... sorry I ruined ur fun.... ><

[Guest jennych]

This one's dumb but yeah.

It's funny when you say it~

What did the doctor say to the other doctor?

We're doctors.

What did the chicken say to the other chicken?

We're not doctors.

Lol~ XD

LOL thats so lame its funny ahhah XD

[Guest starstung]

This was part of a conversation my science teacher and one of my male classmates had a while ago. This student likes "pwning/owning" the science teacher so they always say something that causes the class to die in laughter. This is the only one I can remember so far.

Teacher: "I heard the circus was looking for new people."

Student: "Okay, I'll tell them your name."

The other jokes are a little more mature so I'm hesitating whether to share them.