oldschooler
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Posts posted by oldschooler
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Hello everyone, hope you are all doing well. Thank you for continuing to post different updates, I enjoyed reading them still!
Just based on a whim, I googled "one million roses association with the little prince". Indeed I found this blog, which detailed the genealogy of the song, including its affinity with St-Exupery's masterpiece.
http://onemillionroses.blogspot.com/2011/03/geneaologies-of-song.html
Not sure how many of you loved the Little Prince... Here is the pdf version I found.
http://verse.aasemoon.com/images/f/f5/The_Little_Prince.pdf
Who was Park Dong Hoon's "rose" who tormented him and who caused him to escape to another planet? It must be his wife. She was a foreign, complicated and haughty rose indeed! And I wonder if the quaint fox who tamed him was Lee JiAn. And the whole idea of dying and reincarnation which @h2ogirl and others analysed and developed in the past. Haha, I guess this is where the analogy ends?
I must confess that I enjoyed My Mister for exactly for how they portrayed DH's descend into darkness in the first 9 episodes (masochistic streak in me?). When jaded from a tough day, I sink comfortably into my couch and play the first episodes again. I've been meaning to write a comparison between the first half of MA, which charted DH's unravelling, and another movie, that other Wong Kar Wai movie, Happy Together, which is perhaps a precursor to Mood for Love? I did not sense any chemistry between the two actors in Happy Together. Perhaps the movie was meant rather to portray the monotonous pain of being stuck in limbo, exiled to a season in hell, and of eventual recovery. Perhaps in November I will find some time to do screenshots and draw together some similarities. Until, then, I go back to my planet which looks like this. Take care!
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On 6/10/2019 at 11:30 PM, ann04 said:
Nice to see a lot of people are back
I visited Korea a few days ago and managed to go to a fee of the filming sites of My Ahjussi. It felt surreal seeing it in person I especially loved the railway line and the special bar they spent a lot of their time together in.
I went to where the coffee shop was but I think it’s shut down already from the looks of it. There were two other coffee shops in what seem to be in place of that one ☹️.
I managed to take a picture of where they shook hands though.
Seeing the actual filming sites in person gave me a new perspective, in terms of how intentional the details the director put in the drama were.
Where they shook hands and walked their separate ways, I saw how the pedestrian lights werent really facing the camera. Meaning it must have been captured at such an angle to show that changing of the red man into the green walking man.
Thank you @ann04 for sharing about your trip to Korea and the "pilgrimage" too! Wow you were at the place where they shook hands! The railway! The special bar! I wish I could go there too and take a few pictures and retrace their footsteps. When I was younger and starry-eyed, I used to "retrace" the footsteps of mad poets on some famous street I knew they had walked down before. Where have those days gone? My Ahjusshi awakened something in me to be real again.
On 7/2/2019 at 12:48 PM, justamom said:Here's my review of Parasite! I posted a link to Give Me Slippers and mentioned My Ahjussi as well.
https://xfiatlux.wordpress.com/2019/07/02/parasite-movie-review/
Thank you for sharing the review, receiving bluray and script, and your thoughts again @justamom, looking forward to more of the things you are writing. That clip you posted could have just been another bar scene, but it was totally sublime. The whole of Episode 14, ending with "Lee Ji an, Lee Ji an, call me" was sublime.
@widala I laughed when seeing we are celebrating dear ahjusshi's birthday! Let's hope we can celebrate it every year!
@sadiesmith he loves her!!!!!
Thanks for posting those videos.
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I do not mean something bad about Lee Byung Hun, but I thought LSK's acting was a much more nuanced and sensitive portrayal of a complex guy. Anybody can be a hero, but it is hard to be a man who has been downtrodden and then has the courage to grief, and finally stand up again. I'm crying with all of you
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Hi everyone, it has been a year already? Happy 1st anniversary MA!
Thank you to all MA Soompiers, watching this awesome drama is that much more meaningful thanks to all your sharing, comments, gifs, homemade videos, art and poetry, website, etc! Passed by this pub in Tsim Sha Tsui when I was in Hong Kong. Let's hang out here one day?
One of the effects of reading the Soompi posts is I became very sensitive to the music. Upon rewatch of Episode 7, there was one song that caught my ear
Towards the end of this clip, there was a tune hummed by Jung Hee, Waves of the Danube. It seems really fitting because it's another melo Russian/Eastern European tune in the minor key of the kind which I think KWS is crazy about. It was also adapted into Korean during the Japanese occupation era, sung by Yoon Shim Deok who was recently featured in Hymn of Death (starring Shin Hye Sun and Lee Jung Seok - Sorry, I could not watch beyond the first 30 minutes of it. I heard many like the drama a lot though.). I think Koreans would probably identify more with the Yoon Shim Deok version of the song when they hear it. The lyrics go like this:
Through the vast wilderness, in this life of uncertainties
You are running (달리는 - dallinen), yet where are you going?
In this lonely world, through the rough seas
What are you searching for?
Chorus: This world that will become tears, will everything end if I die? Those lives searching for happiness (행복 - haengbok), it is really sadness that you are seeking for.
Those smiling flowers, and those crying birds
Their destinies would all be the same.
Engrossed in living this miserable life,
You are the one dancing on the blade of a knife.
[Chorus]
This far-flung life that has fallen to vanity
You are being deceived, don't you know?
Everything in this world to you is emptiness
After you die, nothing exists anymore
[Chorus]
*Sorry, I forgot to acknowledge pinkmilksyrup from Youtube for the lyrics...
The most similar characteristic between Jung Hee and Yoon Shim Deok is that they were both not respected by society, which looks down on entertainers. Then, they loved someone unavailable. Perhaps what I found saddest about this tune is that Jung Hee's loneliness was so deep and resounded into the dark night. Isn't that what we go through when we were/are singles, belonging neither here nor there, going home to an empty room with no one to talk to after work. The meaninglessness and dreariness of trudging through everyday life.
But I am fond of MA because it turns this "living in quiet desperation" around, and gives meaning to life through wonderful relationships and being compassionate to others and ourselves. I'm reading too much into things again. But I think there is meaning when, at the end of Episode 7, LJA runs (달리는) to PDH and meets him in the restaurant, and PDH, in return, toasts happiness (행복하자) to LJA. Is it really so futile to run after happiness? The drama says, "no".
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HK Open TV is airing My Mister.
It might interfere with the artistic quality of each episode, but they edited the 1-hour-plus episodes into 45-minute episodes. And!! The series is dubbed in Cantonese. However, the live streaming is only open to those on site in Hong Kong.
I also found this on Youtube, not sure if it has been shared here before, since it was first posted four months ago. I like the caution that we should respect the residents in this nice neighbourhood.
I wish I could watch Skycastle. One day I will and join you all at the thread. Right now, I will have to make do with another "spy" movie "Operation Finale".
On 1/24/2019 at 11:27 PM, justamom said:I hate to make the comparison, but does anyone else see the similarities?
James’s new hero Maxim inherits his family’s noble title after a tragedy. “It’s a role he’s not prepared for and one that he struggles to face,” said Arrow. “But his biggest challenge is fighting his desire for an unexpected, enigmatic young woman who’s recently arrived in England, possessing little more than a dangerous and troublesome past. Reticent, beautiful, and musically gifted, she’s an alluring mystery, and Maxim’s longing for her deepens into a passion that he’s never experienced and dares not name.”
YES! Maxim is the name of Lee Ji An's favourite coffee. That is why *the* mister is called Maxim. Ah, so obvious...
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Happy new year everyone! Its been great scrolling through the comments one by one, like walking down memory lane.
On 12/22/2018 at 10:25 AM, popai5 said:Spoiler. Here goes the poem/song. Skip to next post everyone.
This is our beloved Jian's mind wandering, hoping, speaking.
Looking through the subway window at the coat on a slumping frame.
My heart reaches out to touch your soul praying your reflection does the same.
Moon bright this night but through dusty glass can't pierce the gloom from this depressing room.
Cold bite of night, in open air, can't dim the fond glow gleaned from my mated soul.
On the road I spy you engaged, seemingly cozy in your life.
But on another day those eyes can't hide such pent up hurt and strife.
At my reflection I say, "it's no big deal".
But why? Oh my! This longing do I feel.
Oh glass barrier if only it will break.
But your earnestness and morality so impossible to shake.
I long to meet. Long to touch. Long to share.
Shatter this glass barrier and expose your emotions bare.
In our special place we share a meal, a laugh, a drink.
A sanctuary where we don't care what other's think.
At my reflection I say, "it's no big deal".
Oh my. Won't deny. My heart you did steal.
Looking through the subway window at the coat on a comforting frame.
My heart reaches out to hod you tight. We now agree there is no shame.
Whoa.... thanks @popai5 for sharing this poem! No way I'm skipping this. Your poem is personal and heartfelt, so full of longing... I feel that it is such a fitting way to describe their relationship, lyrics for muted roads at night and silent stares. I think you are brave to share creative works in public too. Sometimes I feel I reveal myself so much because of what I write, especially since MA brings out Everything in me . So thanks for being brave!
I truly enjoyed the musical too, read it about 5 times. You melded together so many scenes perfectly. Sometimes JA and DH speak as one, and then complement one another so well as different people. Plus the traffic signals to go together, whoa... you must have given a lot of thought to this. I will keep this to remind me of MA. Yes, DH must sing more songs of longing in unison with JA
2 hours ago, widala said:Oldie but goldie...
Ten years ago, Lee Sun Kyun sang the song that would be My Ahjussi OST
@widala It must be fated!
Something reminded me of MA, which is the poster of a movie (have not watched it yet) called Miss Baek starring Han Jimin, about the relationship between a sex worker and a kid.
SpoilerSometimes JA stands this way as well. Isn't this the way some sex workers stand to indicate who they are. Or stand by the roadside.
I don't mean this in a vulgar way, but I wonder if KWS wanted to link JA with the image of sex workers. After all she sells herself for money. Asks the CEO if she should strip in front of DH? If she should sleep with DH? (unforgettable lines ) . In fact the last part of the trailer for MA seems just like that if you do not know the context - a man hesitates in propositioning a woman, then walks away. But I guess this theory doesn't hold because by the time she stood to wait for him to give him the slippers she is in love with him...
SpoilerShe has been waiting since Ep 2
SpoilerAnd she waits some more...
SpoilerAnother thing about the windswept look, isn't it a bit like the orphan from Les Mis?
SpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSorry for the random thoughts. I must miss MA so much!
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On 11/7/2018 at 7:17 AM, widala said:
May I post this in my Instagram? I will credit your post as the source... Thanks again
Anyway, as of today I'm disappointed of this drama. MA was supposed to depict the real life as it is, no exaggeration like other dramas but... who in the real life have an ID card photo as good as Park Dong Hoon's?! Pure fantasy!
Mine looks like a mess, a 4 yo could've drawn it better...
Kdrama fantasy level
Level 1 : a rich chaebol falls in love with you
Level 10 : Park Dong Hoon's ID card photo
Hahaha, that's funny, you are right, ID photos are an embarrassment. We had to keep our 12-year-old ID photo (when we first got it) until 17 years old. Not sure if this practice has changed.
It would be great to share the post, thanks!
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Thanks for the encouragement @ann04! I've never said this before in my life, "long live shippers!"
On 11/4/2018 at 4:28 PM, widala said:Lee Ji An has her birthday today (4 Nov 1998).
Anyone knows Park Dong Hoon's birthday?
All we know is the year 1974...
@widala thanks for posting on LJA's birthday! As for PDH, could it be this? June 18, 1974.
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Thanks for your encouraging words @t123han @sadiesmith @widala @popai5 and @arctichare! @arctichare the quote and those pictures of really seeing are so beautiful, thanks for posting them. Very clearly indeed! How am I going to move on from MA though, these pictures still bring back a lot of memories
On 10/31/2018 at 2:55 PM, sadiesmith said:I don't know what you do for a living, but I wish someone like you would teach writing to my kids. That last thing about the open door, I have no words...
No more separation, only a brightly burning candle right in between them.
I'm so glad that the end of that sad scene is not in separate panes but bright candles! Thanks for pointing that out, the thought of them having a chance with each other in dramaland still makes me so happy. It would be a great privilege to teach your kids, I'm very sure they already have the best teacher by their side
. My background is in psychology (with interest in suicide prevention/awareness), so I guess that was where MA caught me at first, with the two near-suicide scenes, at a very visceral level.
On 11/1/2018 at 4:29 AM, popai5 said:I wanted to add the scene where DH looks so defeated sitting in the car after the soccer match but through the window he sees JA looking back at him with eyes filled with concern and heartache and love.
Yes! That scene with so many deep, mixed feelings, thanks for bringing it up! Everyone trapped in their own snug compartment, but LJA in the open makes PDH want to break out of his beta van. If only they would break into song and dance at the end....
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On 9/12/2018 at 1:03 PM, h2ogirl said:
I've been wondering something... This question goes out to all My Ahjussi fans.
What are some specific instances involving DH-JA that can ONLY be interpreted from a romantic angle? Conversely, what are some DH-JA instances that weaken the romance stance?
@t123han brought up a great example.
For me, I don't know why DH would avoid his regular bar / hangout with his bros and pals for a prolonged period if not to avoid having his feelings / intimacy with JA shown. I mean, why would he maintain a physical distance with his "best friend"?
Your turn.
Hi, hope it's not too late to answer this, since I'm an ahjussi fan I guess it is compulsory
For me it was every time he did not take the opportunity to deny outright he did not like her. Second are the times when he stared at his phone for a long time, for example (1) the first time she asked him for a meal, he stared at his phone from "bukchon" to ... their station (I forgot the name! Time flies...) (2) After her confession he sat on the bed and considered the phone for a long time.
On 10/10/2018 at 8:16 AM, popai5 said:MA will never be replaced or outdone by these new adaptations but it would be interesting to see the results. And if they would give me the relationship between DH and JA that I long for then it would be all the better!
Thanks @popai5for bringing up all the possibilities for a Japanese version. Sorry I'm not familiar with most of the Japanese names, will check them out! How about Satoshi Tsumabuki for ahjussi, is he too baby looking.
8 hours ago, widala said:And what about Baeksang next year?
Do you guys think it's possible to see LSK and LJE walking hand in hand at the red carpet?
Or is it still be considered controversial to Korean public?
I'm so happy to see MA winning awards!!! @widala I guess it's ok for LSK and LJE to walk hand in hand right? After all he did that with KSH before, I guess it would be ok??? Though my personal preference is for LSK to walk hand in hand with his wife and to mention Jeon Hye Jin in his acceptance speech.
Sorry this is getting to be a very long post! I was writing something a while ago, needed to express my feelings... thanks for your patience with this long post:
Seeing through a glass, darkly
Glass is hard yet transparent. It blocks entry, but at the same time allows us to peer into the space it shelters. Looking through a glass window or door, we see without touching. We are able to watch and scan every object, action and expression, but we should not be fooled for there is still an invisible barrier that shuts us out. And sometimes, if we look carefully, we see our own reflection. My Mister is a drama about glass. The characters saw others and themselves through a medium—barroom, car and train windows, platform screen doors, mirrors in a restaurant or lift, a pair of shades. It was as though reality was too glaring to bear direct scrutiny, to be acknowledged in person. It was as though our characters, in their shy opacity, chose to see or be seen indirectly, to shield their vunerabilities from too much exposure, to be intimate without touching.
Park Dong Hoon was happy drunk when he caught sight of a girl wearing short socks in the winter. He was intrigued not only because she was underdressed for the weather, but also because she seemed familiar. He tried locate who it was by looking at the face reflected in the train window. This was his first real sight of Lee JiAn – dark and pitiful.
A few episodes later, through her reflection in a platform screen, he indirectly saw the same face looking at him intensely. He looked back at her in person, and acknowledged her uncomfortably. By then, he had found out that she was not only sharp tongued and guarded, but was also a kind girl who took care of her grandmother. Progressing from knowing her as an undefined shadow, he was now holding real conversations and dining with her.
DH had thus far looked at JA indirectly and hesitantly, but JA had no qualms about staring at DH directly in his face. When he received a bribe and when he said he had never beaten a woman before, she had stared directly at him through her shades. Just like when she wiretapped him, she was able to scan him thoroughly while remaining inscrutable herself.
SpoilerSpoilerAfter JA had heard from JY that “if he dines and drinks with you, he likes you,” her reflections on their relationship were likewise modulated by the dark train windows. It was as though JA’s contemplations were unacceptable and had to emerge from an alternate, darker self. Likewise, DH’s reflection in the train window as he thought about the director’s ploy to bring JY down through him was equally dark.
SpoilerSo much had happened when DH, JA and their colleagues ran for the last train to the tune of the OST, “A Reflection of My Heart”. Their colleagues were a step too late, and had waved vainly at them as the train departed from the station. Alone, DH asked JA why she had stayed back to work overtime, and she replied she had learned well from his admonition, to work well with the others, to be socially acceptable. Then, panning to her reflection in the window, Ji An’s dark self confessed, “I missed you so I waited for you.”
SpoilerShe frankly described the nature of their relationship of mutual empathy and perhaps, love. He was dumb because he could not deny or agree with it on principle. It was then that JA saw the private investigator who secretly took their pictures. She walked away from DH, through door after door until she felt they had a safe enough distance between them. But DH would not have it. He pursued the PI, through the same layers of doors, until he reached JA again, and there he planted himself next to her. We see the train continuing its journey, DH and JA looking out of the glass door. But were they looking out? I later realised from the angle of their faces and eyes, that they were actually looking at each others’ reflection, JA shyly and DH, frazzled, confused, angrily. DH had come face to face with his own dark reflection next to hers.
SpoilerMany times we see DH and JA’s eating and drinking sessions alternately from within the restaurant itself and from the outside, through a glass window. When JA broke the news about going to Busan, for example, the separate frames in which JA and DH were captured foreshadowed their imminent separation.
SpoilerTheir communion was a world so intimate it had to be protected from intruders. Ki Hoon could not figure out what his brother was doing with a girl wearing sunglasses at night. Gwang Il could not believe his eyes that JA was hobnobbing with a crumpled middle-aged man. Team 3 was not privy to the scandalous conversation that DH had with JA when he warned her about taking liberties with him. When DH found JA after she had run away, their charged reunion could only be observed by the dear janitor from a side window to his shed.
SpoilerThis was true not only for DH and JA. We are obliged to see not only through the cameraman’s lenses and our tv screen, but with an additional layer of glass windows when DH told the Chairman the whole story about his wife’s infidelity, JY’s schemes, and how JA had saved him. The same privacy was given to Gwang Il when he heard JA’s words about his earlier kindness to her and his dilemma that she killed his father. Like Ki Hoon who would like to break into the TV, we want to be as near as we could get to the world that has stolen our hearts. But then we are reminded that our characters needed shielding and to maintain some face-saving distance, precisely because of the explosive nature of their pent up personalities. But I’d also like to think that this is a VIP world where the only special pass is love given and received. The random couples in Kojubang had licence of entry into the special restaurant where DH and JA met regularly. Unless we know love and are touched by it, we have no business transgressing into their world.
SpoilerSeeing through a glass darkly, we see each other imperfectly. Even if we were to understand each other closely, such as the level of knowing that DH and JA had of each other, we still have barriers that prevent complete expression and communion. My Mister is a story about making a moral choice between the rightful and the wrongful way to satisfy our needs, whether it be a transgression of forbidden boundaries that inevitably hurts others, or holding back just enough to be intimate without violating the sanctity of rightful relationships. Therefore, the barriers that shield an unprepared and vulnerable soul, or which separates a rightful from a wrongful relationship, should not be lamented but is to be treated with gentleness and respect. Ironically, because “good fences a good neighbour make”, the barriers that DH erected between himself and JA allowed for the further development of their relationship at the right time. I believe this drama is appealing to so many of us because it fleshes out our thwarted longing for full understanding, expression and communion in our relationships. “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”
SpoilerJA finds DH through an open café door
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On 8/26/2018 at 4:00 PM, t123han said:
I too feel the same. He is not afraid to even casually touch Jung Hee during those initial meeting when she was completely wasted. It shows that PDH is not allergic to female company !! He considers her his family hence is not uncomfortable around her like he gets around yoora.
Coming to jian , that’s a totally different case. She is not just collegeue and not a family member going by the heart wrenching looks he gives her everytime he looks at her.
between is this yours ??
https://widala09.wordpress.com/
i stumbled upon it today
I was just rewatching some of KWS's dramas, and I thought, "Oh Gwajang and Jang Geurae in Misaeng, that's platonic. Lee Je hoon and Kim Soohyun characters, that's platonic. DH and JA - not platonic." If KWS had wanted DH to be platonic towards JA, he knows how to make their relationship intimate and meaningful without being romantic. No, KWS knew what he was doing. Those "heart wrenching looks" were ace!
On 9/1/2018 at 3:35 AM, popai5 said:Ji-an's house. Address #1.
At the top of a long climb of concrete steps where the less affluent reside. The hard long climb representing the struggle the residents of the area deal with daily.
The cold, dark room with a small window. It provides the only rays of light in the depressing space. A small window to provide a small ray of hope. During summer it feels like an oven. In winter it is an ice box. One has to get warmth from whatever you can. A little heater. A cup of hot coffee. A few blankets. Something to help one survive. To beat back the cold harsh reality of life.
Yet it is home. Bare walls, sparse furnishings. It is nothing yet it is something. Somewhere one can gain comfort from as you rest. A place where you consume leftovers from work and drink coffee stolen from the office. Still it is something to protect. A place to fight for to maintain one's privacy and dignity. One can get beaten in exchange for a promise of keeping someone from stepping across the threshold. To protect the refuge for one's only family member you get hurt, you fight back. You do this for someone, the only one, you care for deeply.
That is until this man she really doesn't know breaks into her space. A space she wanted to keep private. He is someone she tried to harm without a second thought. Someone she has forced to buy her real food. Something to eat besides table scraps. He's just someone living in his life sentence of earnestness. But he is still there waiting to carry her precious grandmother so she can still savor her moments of happiness with her moon. Not being bumped about in a cold shopping cart but feeling the warm comfort of his back.
Then he says something to you that you have never heard in your life. It sounds strange to your ears. Are those words directed at me? "You are a good person". People put you down, ignore you and beat you but no one has acknowledged you before. Now you don't reside in a cold cave. You are human. This place is where you can sit and keep hearing that you are a good person even if you yourself don't believe it.
The room got lonely without grandmother. Your physical struggles lessen without her but your heart feels emptier. The heater, the coffee can't warm you. It is the sound of his voice, his breathing, his heavy footsteps that warm your heart and being. You want to reciprocate the warmth he gives you. The only thing you can do as he walks you home is a heartfelt 'fighting' before you climb the steps. He smiles. You feel warm.
Your world grows by meeting his friends. They walk you home. Treat you like family. They hail a neighbor you never noticed to watch over you. It is an impromptu housewarming. You feel obligated to show your appreciation. A "Thank you" emerges past your once beaten lips.
The cold dark room feels warmer. A bit brighter. But for him to live brighter it is time to leave. You must leave to find a new place to rest. No, just a place to lay your head.
Everything is left behind except for a backpack full of essential belongings. Grandmother is the only precious thing and she is safe. All I need is my phone you think. I must still listen to him. He is my lifeline.
He came by just checking for cracks. Then he comes for another inspection and her belongings are outside and need to be stored. The neighbor agrees to be neighborly. Just checking for cracks in a place full of cracks. He is trying to patch, perhaps heal, at least comfort the one most important to him. He doesn't know that his words already healed the crack in her heart.
She won't return to the room at the top of the stairs she has decided. Room #1. The small space, the womb that kept the #1 person in his heart. The room is empty and cold. The possessions are gone. The tenant left with sadness and nervousness but knowing that she is a good person. Knowing that she felt love.
You write so intimately well @popai5! I feel like I'm in Ji An's head just by reading about her room. The last paragraph is heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I really like and enjoyed it.
@sadiesmith thanks for the location pics from picbear. I've been doing some digging, and found the location for LSK's favourite scene mentioned in the interview:
(from https://givemeslippers.wordpress.com/2018/08/11/iu-i-couldnt-even-bear-to-hear-the-soundtrack/)
I like this place because it looked quaint and quiet. Mulderim, or "watering place" (or is it water dream?), the place where the three brothers cried buckets (and Ji An and Yoon Hee on the phone too), where DH finally teaches his brothers what he needs and how he wishes to be comforted, where Ki Hoon saw a righteous man being totally broken. This was one of the three "countryside" (or outskirt?) places where we hear "amu geotto anida" - once in Jeongsusa Temple, once near grandma's nursing home, and finally here in Mulderim (I'm not counting the time when Yura said it in JungHee's bar). Every time DH comforts or is comforted by this phrase, he has to get away from Seoul.
Here's an article on Mulderim, they even gave the address
It's about 25km from Seoul, in Siheung City. It has a cafe and you can do cloth dyeing and soap making for a small fee.
천연염색 체험학습장 물들임까페: 물왕동 47-4, 402-1005
(pictures from http://m.culturein.co.kr/a.html?uid=8955)
Spoiler-
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Thanks @sadiesmith for your open invitation to write on our favourite locations. Here is another attempt.
The countryside in My Mister
“In the mountains there you feel free” ~ T. S. Eliot, The Wasteland
@rellea translated a post in DC Inside, which pointed out that PDH’s bag symbolises the weight of life that he carries. I think one place where he consistently does not hold on to his bag is in the countryside.
The countryside in My Mister is a place to which our characters escape to find peace and rest, and the insights they glean during their excursions often constitute a turning point in the characters’ development. In contrast to the city wasteland, with its crammed alleys and the neutral tones of office cubicles and subway stations, the countryside is replete with life and lush colours and wide open spaces. These qualities allow our characters to see clearly the most important facts of their lives for the first time, and to gather strength to act on these insights.
Yumyeong Mountain (Gyeonggi-do Gapyeong)
Yumyeongsan first appears as one of Joon Young and Yoon Hee’s getaways. We later realise that this setting is the place where the irrevocable deaths of both Yoon Hee’s marriage and affair would happen. When DH found out that YH has cheated on him with JY at the campsite, he goes there to confront JY, perhaps for the first time, setting clear expectations on what JY must do to end the affair. His visit to the campsite is a death blow to his marriage, because he lands on the very spot where YH and JY could be making love, in the tent.
SpoilerSpoilerHe also confirmed with JY that YH has known all along the plan to sack him and yet did nothing. From then on, he will stay with YH, but only as the corpse she has made him. As karma, it is at this campsite also where YH confirms JY has been lying to her.
Jeongsusa Temple
Spoiler
PDH’s mother first visits the temple to calm her fears and heartbreak about her sons. PDH also runs to the temple for respite from too much pain from discovering that YH knows he knows about her affair with JY. Because this means their marriage façade will be too difficult to maintain. @africandramalover wrote beautifully about the significance of the song El Condor Pasa which accompanies him there.
SpoilerSpoilerHe bumps into Sang Won stranded by the roadside from a flat tyre, and gladly throws his bag onto the truck before helping SW to change the tyre. Later, at the temple, SW tells DH off about sacrificing his own happiness for others when he would not allow his own son to do the same. DH needs to recognise his needs and be more shameless in fulfilling them (cf. @justamom). Finally, SW comforts DH with a “not a big deal” hug. As a result of this visit, DH feels sufficiently freed to punch JY for the affair, quarrel with JA about taking away his slippers, and break down completely in front of his wife.
Ironically, the sage-like Sang Won could not find peace in this temple 20 years on after his abrupt flight from Hugye. He is stranded like his truck. He only inhabits this temple physically, because like every good Asian son and boyfriend, his soul is still tied to Hugye in a suffocating cycle of blame and guilt. His left-behind never-to-be bride, Jung Hee, likewise mourns for 20 years and hopes to guilt trip him back to her side. Finally, she follows after Omma and DH’s footsteps to meet SW at the temple. Seeing that she is here, SW delivers a lecture on widening our circle of love instead of holding on bitterly to something we cannot attain. It is a lecture not unlike that of Dag Hammarskjöld’s writings on his singlehood, characterised by “longing, like carnal desire, but directed toward earth, water, sky, and returned by the whispers of the trees, the fragrance of the soil, the caresses of the wind, the embrace of water and light.” But JH misses the message, thinking that baby mountain kids are worth more than she is. Perhaps SW is not very convincing, because he is as bound as JH is to each other.
SpoilerRattled by her visit, he meditates in his cell for a few days, during which I believe he finally understands he cannot achieve peace unless he resolves what he has been leaving hanging on his conscience. So, instead of hiding in the monastery, he goes back to Jung Hee on a clear sunny day to find a resolution, bringing yellow flowers that symbolise friendship and happiness (https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/6-rose-colors-and-their-meanings/)
SpoilerI wonder what allows Jung Hee to move on after the visit? I think it’s because she realises that he does love her enough to suffer from this much guilt.The fact that she is loved and does matter reverses Jung Hee’s suspicion that she is not worth much and therefore should not live properly. And her forgiveness frees our monk to finally find the peace that he has been seeking for the past 20 years. His visit symbolically closes the gap between the temple (sacred, solitary, free) and Hugye (down-to-earth, secular, strong kinship ties). Instead of obtaining peace by running away from real life and hiding in some monastery, he embodies the peace that he has been seeking, and may now become a real sage who brings peace to everyone wherever he goes.
SpoilerGrandma’s nursing home (somewhere over the rainbow?)
Spoiler
The elderly living facility to which grandma shifts is also in the countryside. After they move in, grandma thanks DH for taking care of JA. Depending on your point of view (and as was pointed out by a fellow poster), this could also be seen as a symbolic gesture of passing the baton of taking care of JA to DH.
SpoilerJA gains a few insights here. On an unknown road between the facility and the bus stop, DH tells JA that her past is not a big deal if she stops harping on it. In essence, he is telling her that she should let go of her guilt (my own words) and live up to her name, reaching comfort/peace (an/安/안).
SpoilerBefore her death, JA and DH visit grandma at the nursing home for the last time. With falling blossoms in the background, Grandma tells JA about the widening circle of love.
SpoilerSpoilerHer relationship with DH is undoubtedly very precious. So is every relationship she develops – with the brothers, the neighbourhood ajusshis, with Jung Hee and Yu Ra. So, please live in gratitude by living well.
SpoilerSpoilerSpoilerThe failure to grasp that love can be widely shared in community, as much as it can be deeply felt towards a certain person, is something which causes Yoon Hee a lot of bitterness. But for DH and JA, they are able to live well because they have learned their lessons in the countryside well – (*edit) for DH to love himself more, and for JA, to let her original love ripple out to embrace the rest of the world.
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On 8/15/2018 at 1:14 AM, t123han said:
Here is small exercise for you guys. Put your headphone and don’t watch the video just listen. The few words he speaks in the beginning... his voice.. oh god... when you don’t watch the video and just close ur eyes and listen to voice you realise the beauty of it. It’s so deep and kinda of touches deep in your heart.
This guy should do voiceover to those guided meditation videos. I think I can go into trance just by listening to his voice.
It's just so good, @h2ogirl, I think I can do the whole drama just listening the to sound and not looking at the pictures
On 8/14/2018 at 5:33 AM, ann04 said:Three months on and I still haven’t moved on
but Ive definitely slowly eased into other dramas now. It’s just that MA will always have that special place
Thanks, I have not moved on too @ann04. I tried watching non-korean non-drama, like the movie Beirut. Even that reminded me of something familiar (1) despairing ahjusshi who drinks (2) spy who went rogue
On 8/15/2018 at 6:59 PM, emmafaye said:Since this fabulous show ended, i have been reading almost all the comments in this thread. Yes, the 290 pages!!!!!!
But is has been a pleasure, so much, I feel like I know some of you guys from how your minds were changing or simply expressing yourself throughout the airing of My Ajusshi. From @sadiesmith to @justamom, @tiger457_stv the Engineer, @africandramalover, @wotad, @noor1, @arctichare, @snowdragon, @akhenaten, @joseph lim, @mylovelystar, @timidjock0819, @chickfactor, @aisling, @ccl82, @philosophie, and some others i don´t remember right now. Shippers and non-shippers, or less shippers… Those in the Delulu Island... You guys rock! To all of you, Thank you!
Hi @emmafaye, I felt like I went through the same journey reading through posts in this forum from the beginning, I was luckier because it ended around 260 pages at that time. All the angst, all the insights! All the delulu comments too
! It made me feel the drama viewing was a more complete experience. And yes! they deserve each other so much.
@noklek Why do I like PDH? Because I'm a woman
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On 8/9/2018 at 10:53 PM, sadiesmith said:
Help needed! Here's a writing challenge to you all. In an effort to promote My Ajusshi fan site we have agreed to write a guest post for Kdramaland. The idea is to write about our five favorite locations and put them all together into one post like this: https://koreandramaland.com/my-5-favourite-locations-in-jugglers/
Does anyone want to put her writing juices for My Ajusshi cause? We will likely cover the Mapo bridge and the railway tracks ourselves, but anything else is open. Use @h2ogirl's post as your jumping point: https://givemeslippers.wordpress.com/2018/08/06/my-mister-filming-locations/
We'll pick one or two, but don't delay as we'd like to get this done within the week. Thank you all! Your help is much appreciated.
Hi here is a post on the river scene, I have adapted from a previous post. My apology, the name of the bridge is Hangang, and not Mapo as I mentioned in an earlier post. It appears both of them have comforting words written on the railing to prevent suicide.
Hangang Bridge
This scenic bridge has been featured in a few Korean dramas (link to: https://koreandramaland.com/listings/hangang-bridge/). Because Park Donghoon’s (Lee Sun Kyun) character is portrayed with subdued subtlety, and does not betray his true thoughts and feelings to others easily, clues to his inner life are conveyed indirectly through external associations. The Hangang Bridge is the exact location which the production team chooses to portray the state of Donghoon’s mind the day after discovering his wife’s infidelity.
Park Donghoon has been wandering through the streets of Seoul for half a day, after leaving the morning football team in a huff. It is late afternoon, and the sun is setting when he plants himself in the middle of Hangang Bridge. There are comforting words written on the bridge railing to his left, but the panel where he is standing is blank. There is no fanfare, no extreme show of emotion, and any sound he makes is drowned by passing traffic. His sight pans to the river below.
But when the scene shifts to Lee Jian, we sense the urgency of the matter. All is not well. This is the Hangang Bridge. Underneath the external calm, Park Donghoon’s breathing is ragged and laboured. There is no doubt as to his thoughts during that exact moment.
Hangang Bridge
Spoiler
Her bus stops abruptly by a random roadside and she runs to him, and does not stop running until she gets him in her line-of-sight, seeing him being found by his brothers. To drive the point home, Donghoon’s brothers ask him repeatedly, “Where have you been?” He does not answer: they must not know.
Spoiler
Portraying suicide in films and dramas is controversial, especially when using a certain location associated with this topic. However there is a need to lift the taboo surrounding suicide, an understated problem among middle-aged and elderly men. I believe the production team does not use the location just for dramatic effect, but also as a potent anti-suicide message: when driven to the brink, we can choose to bravely walk away from the temptation to end our lives, even if the only barrier between us and the false comfort that we seek is a bridge railing. Following the rest of Park Donghoon’s life, we find that he has continued to live a full life, and that it is worthwhile to persevere through the indignity we suffer. However, at this moment, the Hangang Bridge scene conveys the full extent of Donghoon’s heartbreak – muted, barely noticeable, but very lethal.
Spoiler
I was also wrong in an earlier post on drawers, stating that Ki Hoon was the one who mentioned DongHoon was always slipping things through the cracks of his drawer. Actually, it was Sang Hoon, the one who is always wrong about Dong Hoon
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On 8/2/2018 at 11:20 PM, riazni said:
I was in ep 5-6 rewatch, that scene in ep 5 when JA woken DH up in the subway by kicking his foot, I remember back in this thread someone commented that that could be the first ‘kindness’ JA did to DH without any other ill intention, and I think so too, she was slowly starting to care about this ajusshi, earnestly.
after that foot-kicking she then walked out of the station, with DH trailing behind, I really like that scene, the camera capturing her face, I think that JA looked soo pretty there, symbolically it might be doing-good-thing effect? she’s getting prettier and prettier, couldn’t imagine how hard is that for our ajusshi
lastly, I’m still hoping our beloved cast and crew of My Ajusshi will at least be nominated for the Baeksang, and if not then you’ll see me shedding tears in this thread sometime in December
Thanks for pointing this out @riazni, so true that the foot kicking was the first act of pure kindness! I love so much that PDH said with some sarcasm something like "you wake me up like a slave" in the lift, causing everyone to turn around and JA feeling very awkward. We've got plenty of innuendoes in the first few episodes. Perhaps these early episodes were shot before they had to tone it down? She does get prettier and prettier
I'm really grateful and am enriched by all the timeline studies. It bothered me that she took the cast out within a day (or so I thought)... so it took about a month to heal, which is more realistic. And the time given to DH to grapple with his wife's infidelity is slow in dramaland but it is realistic too.
The more I watch, the more I feel this drama is about delaying gratification. KWS said he wanted to use he drama to give a good impression of Korean ahjussis. What type of Ahjussi is he trying to market to his audience? Someone who is upright and mature, able to love in the true sense of the word, both self and others. I would just like to add that for each of his temptations, he got interviewed by the company - for the bribe, the burner phone list, and finally, for LJA. He got stronger with each interview, perhaps to project the character growth that had happened to pass each "test". And the ending of the drama shows the reward for good ahjussis: PDH got his money (his company did well), status/power (he was director, then CEO), and naturally, his ... (...). But not before dying to each of them, and to find them magically "reincarnated" in a roundabout way.
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Hi @sadiesmith my mind is also blown away by the complexity of this drama, the more I rewatch it, and terms like "straighten me up" I will not be able to forget until the end of my life!
. When DH received a call from KH after the bribe was found in Ep 2, I believe that was where KH guessed (wrongly) that DH had found it behind/under his drawer. I hope I'm correct on this detail.
*Edit: Sorry I just checked and it was Sang Hoon who (as always) guessed wrongly in Episode 2 (around 53:30) that the money had fallen through the cracks of his drawers, and he was always doing that since the past
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You are all truly awesome! I have been reading back some pages and articles on the fansite, and they have sustained my interest in the drama apart from the real world I’m inhabiting now. I’m very thankful for the posts and observations and analyses, etc.
I wonder if someone has commented on what DH keeps in his drawers? Unseen, private and potentially shameful stuff that others must not know about. The unconscious parts of his desires in which he sometimes loses (aka forgets, represses) stuff when they slip through the cracks and fall behind/below the drawer compartments, as Ki Hoon complains: “He is always losing something behind his drawers”.
1. The bribe – It was his first temptation. DH succumbed momentarily to a temptation he had never encountered before, perhaps out of desperation to resolve his financial situation. He covered the bribe with a file and put it into his drawer. Through the bribe, he received the full backlash of breaking a clear moral principle. Everyone knew about it! From his colleagues to his family. It was only through a miracle that he escaped the consequences and emerged as a phony righteous man. He knew he was not the virtuous man he appeared to be. He learned a big lesson about shame and not doing the right thing from this temptation.
The bribe was also his first link to Ji An. JA, suffering from similar/worse financial problems, also wanted the bribe money. Using covert means, she stole it from DH, only to relinquish it when she was unable to use it. The material nature of the bribe reflected the first level of desperation which both DH and JA were both facing. Money is important for survival.
2. Joon Young’ burner phone number list – This was the temptation of power, of using crooked means to have the upper hand on DH’s enemy. As usual, DH placed the phone list in the drawer. I think it slipped through the crack again (as Ki Hoon observed) and therefore was not traceable by the fraud/investigation team. DH was not comfortable about using the list as a weapon against his enemy, not attempting to open it when he first contemplated it during his bus ride home. This was not his style. But desperate times required desperate measures; when he was once again egged by JY to the point of suicide, he decisively retrieved the envelope from his drawer. Again, the “power” that he obtained from the phone list was unusable on one level – revealing his wife’s affair was a double edged sword that would hurt JY but literally kill him (hence the Mapo river bridge scene).
But on another level, the phone number list provided JA with the opportunity to help DH intentionally for the first time, by giving him a clue about the origin of public phone numbers. The underdog helping another underdog. It also broke the “see no evil, hear no evil” policy which DH had kept in the past in order to insulate himself from deep, hurtful realities.
3. Ji An’s slippers – Did DH wise up after being burned by the two previous temptations? After all he had tasted the consequences of near-public humiliation and of digging too deep into reality for his own peace of mind. The slippers had all the consequences of the first two temptations. So what did he do with the slippers? Put them in his private, unmentionable drawer. It occupied such a big space this time that removing it created a big hollow in the compartment. However, it was a temptation he could not return to Jian to “make things clear”. Whenever he removed his work shoes, he instinctively opened the drawer, tempted to wear those slippers. @africandramalover and others mentioned, this was DH reaching for his comfort. However, he was not able to show it to the public. When Chief Song asked, “You bought a new pair of slippers?” DH acted as though his deepest, darkest secret was revealed, and he covered the slippers and hid them again.
I like that the writer/director used the analogies for the three temptations of money, power and sex/love in PDH’s life. They were all morally/ethically wrong. Especially loving Ji An at this point of his life. No matter how much we sympathise with the third temptation, there are no moral exceptions to the temptations that beset PDH. I like that in the drama Pasta, LSK’s chef character was warned by his sous chef that mixing love and work in the kitchen is unethical, as a chef’s position gives prestige and power, and this power could be abused against those who have less power. Thus, if DH had used his superior position, maturity, knowledge, etc. to woo JA or to accept JA’s love to fulfil his emotional needs, he would be breaking these universal ethical laws. (I’m not saying JA is not powerful, wise, intelligent in her own right, but we must acknowledge that it was still an economically, socially, emotionally imbalanced relationship that put JA in a vulnerable position with a married man). Therefore, it was only when the coast was clear, when JiAn had left the company, when he was at a safer position at his workplace and the threat of scandal was gone, that DH was able to bring the slippers out of the drawer and wear them publicly and comfortably.
@justamom thank you for pointing out the similarities between ITMFL and MA. Really? Down to the last handshake? I'm just "wow"
*edit @sadiesmith thank you for the analysis of cars. They are so prominent in MA, especially the pink sensitive van who is beta male
. By the way the white chevvy which Yoon Hee drives was always dirty and needed cleaning according to DH, before and after DH found out about the affair.
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21 hours ago, sadiesmith said:
I read someone from DCinside said the exact same thing about this, via Google troll, of course.
Hi @sadiesmith thanks for sharing this. I read in previous pages that DC Inside is a Korean forum, and that Soompi and Dc Inside are in the same multiverse or something like that?
It's good to know that somewhere someone thinks the same too. Personally, I first encountered this concept from the old film the Dead Poet’s Society, where Thoreau was quoted as saying that we live lives of quiet desperation. That was like a knock on the back of my head, to see that there is a wide chasm between what we settle for vs. the great longing for love that our hearts are created for, as Fr. Ron Rolheiser described it. Hence the desperation that exists in all of us. For me, Tony Leung embodied this sense of lostness and desperation perfectly through WKW’s movies. When LJA chided PDH for serving his time in prison a bit too earnestly, and PDH was described by Yoon Hee as constantly missing something in his life, I was completely sold. And to portray this sense of desperation in the context of face-saving and binding masculinity, I think, takes the skill of a master. By the way, thanks for that article on LSK's midlife crisis.
10 hours ago, akhenaten said:When I think about it, other couples often go to work and come home together because it allows them to have that precious bit of time to be together in the midst of their busy days. And from the looks of it, this is something that Dong Hoon and Yoon Hee could've easily done, especially with their son being far away. He can easily drop her off at her office and he brings the car then pick her up at the end of the day. Or vice versa if Yoon Hee's office is farther. And they could eat dinner outside after work. And on those days when Dong Hoon drinks with his friends at the bar or eats dinner with his mom and brothers, Yoon Hee would've been with him. Maybe if they had done this, Dong Hoon wouldn't have had to go to the bar every night to alleviate his boredom and Yoon Hee wouldn't have felt so lonely and isolated from him. Because they would have been together.
One of the big problems of their marriage was their lack of time for each other, which resulted in the breakdown of their communication, which effectively killed whatever love they had for each other.
@akhenaten, I think those are really good examples of how things could have been. There were so many things that they could have done together with each other, such as commuting together. Even after they had grown apart, Yoon Hee could have taken up something other than having an affair. I mean there were 1001 things she could have done, such as joining a reading group, or hang out with her own friends in the ladies' bar (with a depressed barman for a change), maybe chat at Soompi and post cool pictures of PDH. Rather than look at her 1001 reasons to have an affair. I see her 1001 reasons, and sympathise with her as PDH is not perfect. But...
20 hours ago, ccl82 said:By his co-workers probably because he's the boss. Bosses get to sit back and relax.
@ccl82, I would feel quite mortified if I were the foreign teacher.
If only we could drive our bosses around at work and not only in cars, hahaha. "Yes, relax, let me take care of my year-end evaluation".
7 hours ago, africandramalover said:I've been on a healing mission of my own, trying to get over this drama, seeing how heavily it weighed on my spirit. I'm glad to report I have been successful. A rewatch of Woman of Dignity (another brilliant and hilarious drama) has set me right.
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world
Its saddest sound
Its saddest sound
It reinforces his clear longing to be free, not just of his marriage, but of the expectations and weights holding him down. The poor man is desperate to be free but he is so weighed down he probably cannot even lift himself off the ground. He has slumped forward, trying to catch his breath, on two occasions I can remember. His heavy breathing sounds like someone who is trying hard to find the energy within himself to take off, but he can't, like a dead engine.@africandramalover I wish you the best of luck for your job application! I'm happy to read that you are healing from this drama. Wish I could say the same for myself. I was very touched by your observations. The saddest sound made by the bounded man: I cannot imagine Dong Hoon listening to this song and not break his heart. And that he was trying so hard to take off. I agree with you that PDH's sense of suffocation comes not only from his marriage, but also the weight of so many expectations. For me, one of the problems was social expectations, such as the role of men, what it means to be masculine. Sometimes I wonder if KWS was glorifying or criticising the concepts of masculinity and Koreanness. I think rather than criticising the symptoms (e.g. emotional suppression, drinking, workaholism, class) he wanted to portray these symptoms with sarcasm and sympathy (should we laugh or cry over the absurdity of things?). The deeper heart of the matter is that “we are human, not machines”, and that there is something inherently wrong with the dog-eat-dog world we live in that suppresses our humanity. So, I feel that when Yoon Hee criticised PDH’s drinking habits out of her loneliness, rather than getting to the bottom of his sense of lostness, she had widely missed the mark. I wonder if without the barrage of criticism and with a lot more understanding and kindness, PDH might have opened up to Yoon Hee? We see from his reaction to LJA that he is not immune to kindness. Edit: And this reminds me that in the beginning, when PDH had first lost the bribe money, he did call and go to Yoon Hee's office and disclose this to her right? Sob, she could have been the one to rescue him.
6 hours ago, justamom said:How to create a compelling character
1. The character needs or wants something
Dong Hoon needs to learn to set his heart free. To be gentle to himself. Contradiction: he wants his stable home and family, but that's what at the start of the show is trapping his heart.
2. The character is having difficulty getting what he needs/wants, and comes up with a plan to overcome that
Dong Hoon discovers Yoon Hee's affair. His plan is to force Do Joon Yeon to break up with her and never ever let Yoon Hee know that he knew, so that they can continue with their marriage.
3. He exhibits a contradiction
Despite his quite, reserved, restrained exterior, Dong Hoon has hidden violent tendencies. He is not quite who we think he is, or who his brothers think he is.
4. Something unexpected happens that renders him vulnerable
He meets Ji An, who seems to see right through him, forcing him to reflect on his pathetic life. She also upends his life through the bribery attempt and the kiss.
Ji An reveals that Dong Hoon knows about the affair to Yoon Hee, exposing his attempts to cover up everything, exposing the truth of their marriage.
5. The unexpected suggests there is more to him than meets the eye: a secret.
While his marriage and family unravels, Dong Hoon falls deeply and irrevocably in love with Ji An
Wow what a neat way to sum it up @justamom. Awesome! Can I add to No. 3, that apart from being not quite who everyone thinks he is, there were also times when he was surprised by himself, such as by falling in love with LJA?
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Wow, shocking it was for me, thanks @justamom for translating from DC Inside.
While it was easy for me to rewatch the earlier episodes, I avoided the last few episodes until recently. It was quite painful to have my built-up expectations being raised and dashed left and right and being put through the yo-yo ride between Episodes 14-16. So I really liked how he/she termed Dong Hoon's tenacity at saving his marriage in spite of Yoon Hee's betrayal and his feelings for LJA: “shocking!” Even with the happy ending, I could not take in the jarring contrasts in Ep 15. At the point when he realised that he had experienced what was possibly the greatest love in his life, why did PDH pull back, erect boundaries and introduce his (sorry: irritating) wife into the picture?
There are several reasons:
1. I agree with @h20girl that PDH was legally married, and it was in character for him to be upright and proper. The more he realised that he loved her, and the clearer it was to him that LJA loved him deeply, the more he pulled back in order to do the right thing. He was not in denial anymore, but his reaction to acknowledging this love was calculated and rational, in spite of the internal storm it whipped up in him; he had to erect boundaries to protect LJA.
2. LJA’s actions needed to be accounted for. When PDH discovered that she had orchestrated Park Dongwoon’s dismissal and tapped his phone, he could understand her motives, but she still had to account for her crime. In order to help her discreetly, the best candidate for a lawyer was his wife. Someone mentioned that LJA was infantilized. I wholeheartedly agreed with that. But now, I think that was who she really was. Such was the extent of deprivation and abuse in her childhood that while one part of her had lived 30,000 tiring years, another part was just a child who needed love and guidance. Hence she alternated between strutting Alias-like towards the screen after drugging Park Dongwoon, and following PDH like a puppy after asking for a meal. The reality was, she was a 21-year-old “juvenile delinquent” who had broken the law. She needed to take responsibility and face the music, as doing so was her rite of passage to real adulthood. I like that Park Haeyoung did not let LJA off the hooks easily.
But there were some huge crumbs that fell off the table:
1. Someone noted that PDH and Yoon Hee had never shared a bed. Fellow shippers also noted that in Episode 15 we see PDH sitting at the foot of LJA’s hospital bed, while LJA confessed that she liked everything about PDH. What did he do? Sit quietly and not deny anything.
2. The director also made sure to point out that PDH and Yoon Hee’s relationship was more of a working relationship. After putting LJA at Jung Hee’s place, PDH went home. Where did he sit? On the bed. Where did he carefully place the phone? Next to him. Contrasted to the private nature of the bedroom, PDH met Yoon Hee at her home office to talk “business” with her. She was “cibsaram”, but only legally so.
3. We felt a sense of violation when Yoon Hee talked into the phone to reach LJA. However, talking into the phone was Yoon Hee’s idea, and not PDH’s. Later he told Yoon Hee that he doesn’t think LJA will hear it, ie. It’s a bad idea, ie. It’s not his idea.
Somehow I think the writer/director liked to increase the distance between PDH and LJA before (bam?!) pulling them even closer together at the end of an episode, e.g. Ep 9, when PDH was alienated from her by information from Gwangil, but at the end he swung right back to her with a bang, and the way he looked at her completely changed. In Ep 13/14 they said goodbye, but by Ep 14 he was chasing helplessly after her and singing love songs to her. In Ep 15 he drew those boundaries, but in Ep 16 we have the grand finale funeral, during which we see the extension of LJA’s love for PDH to the love of the neighbourhood, PDH acting chief mourner, PDH staring intensely at LJA, and the last handshake meeting. The distancing and pursuing dynamic of their relationship really left me quite dizzy (and shocked!)… but perfectly satisfied in the end.
Thanks everyone for allowing me to rehash/recycle so many points.
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22 hours ago, justamom said:
@oldschooler I loved your post so much I'm going to quote all of it. It's funny because a few weeks ago I said My Ahjussi with that ending has catapulted straight into my list of all-time favourite love stories, #1 being none other than In the Mood for Love!
I really liked your distinction about Park Dong Hoon chewing on a piece of leather so he could do the right thing. It's such an effective illustration of what in writing we call the conflict between what a character WANTS and what a character NEEDS.
Dong Hoon wants to do the right thing = holds back his feelings, does not rock the boat, remain the faithful husband, devoted father and filial son, LETS JI AN GO
But what Dong Hoon really needs is to shake up his pathetic life and give himself a hug. He needs to separate from Yoon Hee, and BRING JI AN BACK TO HIS SIDE. Because she's what helps him breathe. And breathing is a need, not a want.
It's hard to really get this clear in your head as a writer and in Dong Hoon's case it's so so clear and that's why it's so powerful and effective. Park Hae Young, once again I bow to your greatness!
Were there anti-suicide messages on the bridge? I must go back and check. And re: train tracks, that image in the cinema of the train tracks / going back in time/forward in time, that made me think of jumping the tracks as well.
@mylovelystar Thanks for sharing that! So Ahn Seung-kyun is a stage actor as well? Another stage actor from the My Ahjussi cast.
Thanks, @justamom, I must have read your post from a few weeks ago, couldn't agree more! Apart from the free-flowing supply of longing and desire, what I loved most about the drama and WKW movies were LSK and Tony Leung's rendition of a reserved but suffering-to-the-brink-of-dying man. Unlike IU who was hardened and cynical, PDH was highly socialised. He cared about appearances to a certain extent, and did not want to show his sadness for fear of burdening those around him, so he had no choice but to bottle everything up as @t123han noted, in quiet desperation. The quietness in the desperation made his suffering more heartbreaking, as though no words could describe his pain. The desperation in the quietness that leaked through LSK's expressions, those were gold for me and I think were what made LSK such a great actor!
Wants and needs! That's a good way to name the conflict within PDH. Yes, they caused so many contradictions in PDH I couldn't decide what to think of him a lot of times! But looking at his dilemma from this perspective I think will help me understand his reactions better. "And breathing is a need, not a want." Agreed!
About the messages on the bridge, here's the link to an article.
I think KWS wanted to make sure we do not miss PDH's intention of going to that particular bridge.
21 hours ago, akhenaten said:I'm going to do one episode every day starting tomorrow and think about each one carefully and maybe share my thoughts with everyone here too.
@akhenaten, Looking forward to your thoughts if you decide to post!
11 hours ago, fauna said:I don't think that DH himself saw it as an emotional affair. When JA confesses that she likes him, he says it is out of pity. He doesn't see it as romantic love. I don't think he's quite there yet. Otherwise, he would have passionately hugged her or kissed her when he met her again, and not settled for a warm handshake. When JA shouts out that DH likes JA, he hits her on the head (as she had asked him to). When DJY implies that they are in (romantic) love with each other, DH hits him for implying something dirty. However, he does say that if he is unhappy, then she is unhappy, so he will become happy for her sake. He thinks of his love for her as one human being loving another human being, not as a romantic man/woman kind of love.
In the ITMFL movie, don't they both admit that they love each other romantically, but will not act on it physically, like their cheating spouses are doing? That is definitely an emotional affair. They are holding themselves back, but do want to be physically together. But when JA first asked DH for a hug, he said no, without any hesitation, and he walked away without looking back even once. Also, on the subway train, he does whatever he can to not touch her and to protect her from being squished by the crowd. He doesn't physically desire her, but he will always protect her.
I do think that now they are both in a better mental and physical place, their love can grow into the romantic kind (mentally and physically), when enough time has passed. But before he separated from his wife, he would not let himself go there.
Hi @fauna, I appreciate very much your distinction between emotional affair vs. kindness/protective love. It would really satisfy my one-track mind if PDH did not have romantic feelings towards LJA, as illustrated by his lack of conflict over her request for a hug. That's because I agree that emotional affairs and true love are mutually exclusive. Yes yes, please let them be together after his divorce
For me though, PHD did fall for LJA, if only internally out of everyone's sight. I guess our perception of whether PDH crossed the line or not depends on how we individually define romantic love. As someone mentioned earlier, my gold standard is by gauging the level I freak out if my husband treats another woman the way PDH treated LJA.
5 hours ago, sadiesmith said:Welcome @oldschooler. So happy you decided to share your thoughts, and hats off to you for reading all 255 pages!!
Not many have talked about the near suicides, so I am glad you did. I myself have not given them much thought, probably because it is another example of "show and not tell," so it is very very easy to overlook. We could not know the extent of the seriousness of DH's suicidal thoughts until a few episodes later when his wife's betrayal was brought to the open and his words about her giving him a death sentence became literal. That moment not long after he learned of his wife's affair, when he stood beside the Han River, he really was overwhelmed by the thoughts that his wife regarded so little of him, as if telling him he should just die. And die he really wanted to. You were right that it was barely noticeable, but very lethal.
Then we saw Ji An running to him, her breaths merging with his ragged ones, as if giving him CPR, resuscitating him without his even knowing it. We can call it telepathy, like @justamom did. I am not sure how exactly, but he did snap out of it. I just know it was not because he was thinking he was not wearing expensive underwear.
@justamom, thank you for pointing out that "ae omma" is even less intimate than "Ji Seok omma." I thought the two were the same.
Thanks @sadiesmith, actually I skimmed through most of them, but read the longer posts again and again haha. Thanks for pointing out a few episodes later they gave words to how serious the "death sentence" was for him. I think being "overwhelmed" is the right word, the day after his discovery of the affair, and barely hanging on to his life. Yes luckily he didn't have expensive underwear on
. As a metaphor yes! I agree LJA is giving a lot of CPR to PDH.
@justamom @sadiesmith I didn't know so much could be read into 'aeomma' vs 'jiseokomma'. I need that official manual.
1 hour ago, h2ogirl said:About DH not looking back after rejecting JA's hug the first time, you're right... but he did let out a tiny sigh (before we see JY pull up). We shippers can be really diligent about finding breadcrumbs.
Why did DH get so riled up when JY called the two of them "sleazy"? Because they're not! Far from it. It was never flirtatious or about sleeping together or just a fling between the two of them. That's how it was for JY and YH. DH and JA were serious about each other. And so they understood and respected each other's boundaries. To borrow YH's words about JA, they were "protecting" each other "with their entire being". That's true love. Even someone like JY recognized that.
Please leave some breadcrumbs for me
The love that respected boundaries is the best!
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Hi All, this is my first time posting. I hope I did it correctly. It has truly made my day(s) to have read all the 255 pages of posts! I really enjoyed them, thank you all so much. Now finally I feel like a normal person because I cannot describe the effect this drama has on me to those around me without sounding... "delulu"?
I'd really like to share how this drama has impacted me. I'm very sure some of them have been discussed before, and I'm so grateful for these insights. I think I'm doing this to get it out of my system, so please bear with me.
1. When the drama ended, I felt I have never seen doing right being portrayed so positively and beautifully. Handel's reply to praises about his Messiah: "I should be sorry if I only entertained them. I wished to make them better." We have many dramas that talk about falling into temptation, and they are told with understanding and even assent/agreement. I don't want to undermine those stories; if they are done right, they portray another facet of our humanity too. But PDH did the right thing. He held back with so much energy (a reviewer said he had to chew on a piece of leather?), and could only cry in toilets (thanks @ccl82), hang out on sidewalks and sing in karaoke bars when thinking of her. And what did he do after realising the full extent of her love for him? He said "my wife and I will help you!!!" That got me chewing on a piece of leather. But as some of you said, as the adult, he needed to set the boundaries to protect a wounded, young girl who had grown up prematurely due to her ongoing hurts. That the extent of his love consisted in holding back and doing the right thing, I think, is better than if he were to run to her and do the normal drama things. Thanks Kim Won Suk and Park Haeyoung for making being right so attractive!
2. I'm going to contradict myself here, but rationally speaking I am less ok though with the emotional affair between PDH and LJA. Yes I get that My Mister has drawn a lot of flak for the age-gap non-problem. Somehow I feel it should get more flak for the emotional affair part? I wonder if the writers get it that this is another affair? And it is not all the more noble because they did not cross physical lines? I remember a line from "This Week My Wife Will have an Affair" something to the effect of when it happens to others, it is an affair, but when it happens to yourself, it is romance. As much as PDH held back, they are not innocent.
But, but, it was still beautiful. Someone else said (here and Dramabeans) that this drama paralleled Wong Kar Wai's In the Mood for Love a lot. I would like to add to that by quoting Roger Ebert's review of the movie: "Their spouses may sin in Singapore, Tokyo or a downtown love hotel, but they will never sin on the screen of this movie, because their adultery is boring and commonplace, while the reticence of Chow and Su elevates their love to a kind of noble perfection.[...] And when you’re holding back and speaking in code, no conversation is boring, because the empty spaces are filled by your desires."
Here's a link to ITMFL reviews:
3. Is it too controversial to discuss the two near-suicide scenes? I'm ok with the moderators taking this out if it is out of bounds. Please don't get me wrong, this drama is anti-suicide, more so than many other dramas which portrayed suicide as acceptable/ face/dignity-saving, etc. Instead, our hero moved on to live a fulfilling life, indignity and all. And suicide is such an understated problem, especially among middle-aged and elderly men. So in a way, I'm glad KWS/PHY were brave enough to include it (among other 'controversial' things they do).
I've seen other suicide scenes in 15-year-old rated dramas. But they did not scare me like these do, because they were muted and were portrayed with so much bareness. The first scene was near the railway track. He looked at the tracks and then around him to make sure no one was around. His look = despair? cynicism? trademark PDH caution? Fortunately he collapsed short of it after he slipped. I don't think the media authorities would allow him to literally lay on the train tracks, but we get the point. We are not allowed to use the word "hotspot" when reporting about suicide, but that was the exact kind of location KWS/PHY chose for the second near-suicide. The bridge even had comforting words written on the white railings to stop people from jumping. And after PDH met his brothers, they asked repeatedly, "Where have you been?" as though to drive the point home.
These two scenes were in character with the way they portrayed PDH's heartbreak - muted, barely noticeable, but very lethal.
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I visited Korea a few days ago and managed to go to a fee of the filming sites of My Ahjussi. It felt surreal seeing it in person 
I especially loved the railway line and the special bar they spent a lot of their time together in. 
Thanks for posting those videos.
Thank you to all MA Soompiers, watching this awesome drama is that much more meaningful thanks to all your sharing, comments, gifs, homemade videos, art and poetry, website, etc! Passed by this pub in Tsim Sha Tsui when I was in Hong Kong. Let's hang out here one day? 
I don't mean this in a vulgar way, but I wonder if KWS wanted to link JA with the image of sex workers. After all she sells herself for money. Asks the CEO if she should strip in front of DH? If she should sleep with DH? (unforgettable lines 
) . In fact the last part of the trailer for MA seems just like that if you do not know the context - a man hesitates in propositioning a woman, then walks away. But I guess this theory doesn't hold because by the time she stood to wait for him to give him the slippers she is in love with him...
. By the way the white chevvy which Yoon Hee drives was always dirty and needed cleaning according to DH, before and after DH found out about the affair.
[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards
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RIP Lee Sun Kyun. Deep condolences to his family.