Ask The Fellas

[Guest shinji.]

He was also saying how he has work on friday, he's busy on saturday, family time on sunday. I'm leaving monday.

Sounds like a lie to me. Did he know that you had to leave in four days when you first met him?

Good luck to you.

[gotoAndParty]

@.fishydory

I'm a girl but I just had to comment, because guys like these used to be in my life in hs.

The answer is pretty clear: You've gotten charmed by this guy. He WAS interested in you. He's probably done the same to a 92342034 of other girls, aka giving them hints on day one, making them feel special, that things were meant to be with him. Once he gets you all interested and gaga over him, you're no longer new and exciting and he moves on to the next girl. He doesn't have to treat girls like mini cooper to be a player. If he was looking for a 'real' relationship with 'mutual interest', then tough luck keeping up his interest when 20 girls have failed to do so before you.

[gotoAndParty]

For my question:

If a girl you're not dating grabs your hand / forearm while walking through a crowded place. What would you think of that?

[Guest Javus]

For my question:

If a girl you're not dating grabs your hand / forearm while walking through a crowded place. What would you think of that?

If it's a like a close/good friend I've known for awhile then I wouldn't think much of it. But if it was someone I just met recently then I might think of it as flirting maybe.

[Guest 1n_c0mplete]

Okay guys, Is this guy interested in me or not.

First off, I've only known him for what..4 days haha. But we have become extremely close since the first day. My friend introduced us, and we hit it off right there. We hung out for the whole day, watched a movie, bumped arms and then he asked for my number. Called me after I went home, stayed on the phone for what..5 hours?! During our phone call, he was kind of giving me hints like "You know its soo obvious when a guy is interested in a girl. Guys are simple." He ended up telling me that he was interested, and would love to see me again. Oh heres a twist, I have 4 days left at home. I'm leaving for boarding school on the 24th. lol. And he's going to college in the city. (I'm a year younger) I also asked him, why do you want to see me again? What are you going to do when I leave for school? I bet you're not going to call. He asked me why I would think like that, and that he's going to call. Well obviously knowing guys, I've known him for 4 days. He's not going to commit to that, even if my boarding school is in the same state.

So....we met again, on monday and it was such a cute date We went to central park, sat around, talked. Then we went to MoMa and it was there that he began 'contact'. He started to hold my hand, cuddle, play around my hair. It was sweet. Then we went back to central park and sat around talking for another few hours, hahaha.

Okay......skip to last night! He hasn't called/talked to me since that night. I was literally going ldskhfslfh, why isn't this dude talking to me anymore? Especially since I have such a short amount of time left to see him. So last night, he did. And i was pretty ecstatic, but he was being....weird. It was like I was talking to a whole different person. He was being weird, awkward, strange. I even asked him, are you nervous? He replied, no, why would you say that. I'm just not a phone type of guy. I thought to myself, if you're not a phone type of guy how did we talk for 5 hours on the FIRST night that we met. Then he started to say how I have a lot of friends, and I must be busy for the next 4 days. I was kind of expecting him to ask me to hang out again. Then he continued to say "Well..if you ever want to hang out before you leave, just tell me..."

Not to sound like a pinkberry or anything, but he's supposed to ask me to hang out, after all, he was the one who confessed his 'interest' in me. He was also saying how he has work on friday, he's busy on saturday, family time on sunday. I'm leaving monday.

I know, we've known each other for 4 days. You can't expect anything out of that, but he also said that we have to make the best out of whatever time we have left. If so, why isnt he making time for me. My friend said he's had girlfriends after girlfriends, and he told me himself that he dated around 20 girls before. But I know that he's not a 'player'. He's just someone who wants a relationship where you can stay mutually interested in one another, like me.

We ended up compromising, and Im going to visit him after his shift. I plan on asking him if he's interested enough in me to pursue/continue talking to me in boarding school. I don't want to have to deal with boys unless its necessary, especially since it's my senior year and i'm going to be loaded with work/college apps.

What's your opinion? Sorry for the super long entry btw (=

yeah i agree with what gotoAndParty had to say about him...hes probably one of those guys that just live for the thrill of the chase =\

For my question:

If a girl you're not dating grabs your hand / forearm while walking through a crowded place. What would you think of that?

it depends on how close friends you are. some of my friends are just that friendly and social and will grab on to my arm (in a friendly way). otherwise, she probably feels safer or something if she grabs on to a guy? it depends on how social the girl is. but on average, guys would usualyl take that as a hint

[Guest .fishydory]

@.fishydory

I'm a girl but I just had to comment, because guys like these used to be in my life in hs.

The answer is pretty clear: You've gotten charmed by this guy. He WAS interested in you. He's probably done the same to a 92342034 of other girls, aka giving them hints on day one, making them feel special, that things were meant to be with him. Once he gets you all interested and gaga over him, you're no longer new and exciting and he moves on to the next girl. He doesn't have to treat girls like mini cooper to be a player. If he was looking for a 'real' relationship with 'mutual interest', then tough luck keeping up his interest when 20 girls have failed to do so before you.

I TOTALLY know where you're coming from. But the thing is, I'm similar. I have a really hard time keeping my relationships going because when I like someone, and they eventually like me back I back off. I always get the feeling that the thrill of the chase is over, and theres nothing else for me to attain. I've dated quite a few guys as well..hahah.

Yeah, I have been charmed..I guess. But if so, why would he call me even if it was an awkward phone call. Why doesn't he just leave me alone.

Another thing I don't understand, his facebook status. It was : ***** needs a constant.

People were commenting on it, telling him to get a girlfriend, etc etc. But I don't understand HIS real meaning behind that.

Sounds like a lie to me. Did he know that you had to leave in four days when you first met him?

Good luck to you.

No. He didn't. I didn't mention anything about boarding school, and he still talked/flirted with me the same way he did after I told him.

The thing is that he's not lying to me, he really is busy but with God knows what. Maybe he's just not interested.

It's just weird for me, i'm used to guys chasing after me with phone call after phone call, constantly texting, etc etc. Eh.

[Guest fredinsac]

No. He didn't. I didn't mention anything about boarding school, and he still talked/flirted with me the same way he did after I told him.

The thing is that he's not lying to me, he really is busy but with God knows what. Maybe he's just not interested.

It's just weird for me, i'm used to guys chasing after me with phone call after phone call, constantly texting, etc etc. Eh.

He liked you up until he found out you were going to boarding school. His face book says that he's looking for a "constant." I don't know how much clearer he can be. He's looking for a steady relationship. Him going to college and you moving away isn't helping him in the direction he wants to go. Basically, to him, you're a lost cause.

[NNQM]

Sorry if this has been asked before, but how long should guys wait after breaking up before hitting/ looking for other girls?

I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years because I'm going to a college quite far away, but it ended on good terms. I go on vacation for 2 months and find out that he's been asking all his friends to set him up. I'm not sure how to react to that. Should I be angry that he moved on so quickly, or be nonchalant about it since we broke up..?

Why be angry when you can just be happy? I know it's harder than it sounds but you DID broke up with him. Wanting to hook up with girls doesn't always mean we have moved on. In fact, we can still have feelings but want to drown them with the company of other girls. Being angry will get you no where. If you need some solo time to "move on" then it's YOUR decision.

Okay guys, Is this guy interested in me or not.

First off, I've only known him for what..4 days haha. But we have become extremely close since the first day. My friend introduced us, and we hit it off right there. We hung out for the whole day, watched a movie, bumped arms and then he asked for my number. Called me after I went home, stayed on the phone for what..5 hours?! During our phone call, he was kind of giving me hints like "You know its soo obvious when a guy is interested in a girl. Guys are simple." He ended up telling me that he was interested, and would love to see me again. Oh heres a twist, I have 4 days left at home. I'm leaving for boarding school on the 24th. lol. And he's going to college in the city. (I'm a year younger) I also asked him, why do you want to see me again? What are you going to do when I leave for school? I bet you're not going to call. He asked me why I would think like that, and that he's going to call. Well obviously knowing guys, I've known him for 4 days. He's not going to commit to that, even if my boarding school is in the same state.

So....we met again, on monday and it was such a cute date We went to central park, sat around, talked. Then we went to MoMa and it was there that he began 'contact'. He started to hold my hand, cuddle, play around my hair. It was sweet. Then we went back to central park and sat around talking for another few hours, hahaha.

Okay......skip to last night! He hasn't called/talked to me since that night. I was literally going ldskhfslfh, why isn't this dude talking to me anymore? Especially since I have such a short amount of time left to see him. So last night, he did. And i was pretty ecstatic, but he was being....weird. It was like I was talking to a whole different person. He was being weird, awkward, strange. I even asked him, are you nervous? He replied, no, why would you say that. I'm just not a phone type of guy. I thought to myself, if you're not a phone type of guy how did we talk for 5 hours on the FIRST night that we met. Then he started to say how I have a lot of friends, and I must be busy for the next 4 days. I was kind of expecting him to ask me to hang out again. Then he continued to say "Well..if you ever want to hang out before you leave, just tell me..."

Not to sound like a pinkberry or anything, but he's supposed to ask me to hang out, after all, he was the one who confessed his 'interest' in me. He was also saying how he has work on friday, he's busy on saturday, family time on sunday. I'm leaving monday.

I know, we've known each other for 4 days. You can't expect anything out of that, but he also said that we have to make the best out of whatever time we have left. If so, why isnt he making time for me. My friend said he's had girlfriends after girlfriends, and he told me himself that he dated around 20 girls before. But I know that he's not a 'player'. He's just someone who wants a relationship where you can stay mutually interested in one another, like me.

We ended up compromising, and Im going to visit him after his shift. I plan on asking him if he's interested enough in me to pursue/continue talking to me in boarding school. I don't want to have to deal with boys unless its necessary, especially since it's my senior year and i'm going to be loaded with work/college apps.

What's your opinion? Sorry for the super long entry btw (=

He might be backing off on his initial interest. I can't tell since it's not that obvious. The start was great and your ending was like meh so it's 50/50. Good thing is that you're going to get closure since you're gonna "confront" him about this sudden weirdness. Good luck and "I don't want to have to deal with boys unless its necessary" you make it sound like we're annoying!

For my question:

If a girl you're not dating grabs your hand / forearm while walking through a crowded place. What would you think of that?

If I'm interested in her a little or a lot then I might think she likes me or something. If I'm not interested in her I won't think much of it. Girl friends (not gf), for example, can do that without making a guy think too much of it.

[Guest .fishydory]

He liked you up until he found out you were going to boarding school. His face book says that he's looking for a "constant." I don't know how much clearer he can be. He's looking for a steady relationship. Him going to college and you moving away isn't helping him in the direction he wants to go. Basically, to him, you're a lost cause.

Even if I am a 'lost cause' like you said, I know he did not like me up until he found out I was going to boarding school. I told him I was going away the first night on the phone, yet he still wanted to hang out with me. He said that seeing me was all that matters. And when we did hang out, trust me, he showed plenty interest.

[Guest .:dark.moon:.]

just curious....

do guys act more...quiet/shy around the girls that they're interested in? and tend to look like they're avoiding them? o.o or does it just mean that they're ignoring the girl on purpose..

thanks~ and sorry if it's already been asked >.<

[Guest shinji.]

just curious....

do guys act more...quiet/shy around the girls that they're interested in? and tend to look like they're avoiding them? o.o or does it just mean that they're ignoring the girl on purpose..

thanks~ and sorry if it's already been asked >.<

That depends from person to person. I guess that guys tend to be more shy when they first meet someone they like because they don't know what kind of girl they are yet and are more conscious of what they say and do. But some guys are just really shy.

For the avoiding part, I think they would look like they are avoiding the girl because they are not sure if the girl likes him back so he wants her to approach him instead.

[Guest 1n_c0mplete]

just curious....

do guys act more...quiet/shy around the girls that they're interested in? and tend to look like they're avoiding them? o.o or does it just mean that they're ignoring the girl on purpose..

thanks~ and sorry if it's already been asked >.<

lol im kind of obvious when im around somebody im interested in. like the words just dont come out of my mouth at allll. and im usually a social guy too xP

[Guest XangelXtranX]

How do you tell if a guy is playing hard to get or if he is just not interested?

What kind of things do guys do when they play hard to get?

Well i am wondering the same thing too !! S o help us out guys

[Guest LiLLe]

uhh so for the guy i like birthday, i recorded myself singing and playing guitar and gave it to him. he told me thanks! and that he couldnt watch it atm bc he was at a friends. however he hasn't talked to me ever since i gave it to him...idk what he thought of the vid or anything. was it a bad idea to give it to him...? i don'twant to be the first one to contact him knowing if he thought it was weird or something :/ ... what would be reasons for him not getting back to me?

[Tuffcore]

uhh so for the guy i like birthday, i recorded myself singing and playing guitar and gave it to him. he told me thanks! and that he couldnt watch it atm bc he was at a friends. however he hasn't talked to me ever since i gave it to him...idk what he thought of the vid or anything. was it a bad idea to give it to him...? i don'twant to be the first one to contact him knowing if he thought it was weird or something :/ ... what would be reasons for him not getting back to me?

Um sorry to say but that's not a good sign. You probably came on too strong and now he doesn't know how to say he feels awkward to talk to you... so he's taking the easy way out by avoiding contact with you altogether.

That was a bold move and i'm not sure if that's something you should do in the future unless you know 100% for sure the feelings are mutual.

The easiest thing to do is confront him and apologize for embarrassing yourself. Then listen to him as he does his best impression of, "oh, no no, i liked the video but but i just just... (insert a million excuses)." Then just be all like, oh that's okay. Hope we're still cool and can be friends.

But if you want him to like you,... i would advise something more drastic. You need to explode in anger when he makes an excuse. Call him out. Challenge his unwillingness to tell the truth and act all noble like you are all about the truth and stuff. Then walk away pissed at him. Trust me, that's an attractive personality and the only way to get to him at this point. He'll be non-stop thinking about you until the next time he can talk to you again.

[Guest s0y0un*]

so guys, i met this boy at camp a few weeks ago and we flirted the whole time and we hung out only a few times after that even tho we live 10-15 minutes away because he's always working or doing other stuff. we both told each other we liked each other but sometimes i feel like he has no interest in me at all. and he said he feels the same way. like he never calls me to talk at night, we only text >< he says his lil bro is in his room so he cant talk at night and we went one day without texdting each other. also the other night i wanted to go to his church with him and he said he would take me but he never said anything that day and later he said he went but he forgot to TELL ME cuz he was so busy. but when were together he's really sweet and funny. ok ay so we might do something this sat. but he said he has no money.. cuz he had to pay for his car that had problems and i was like omg... what are we gonna do. and all he wants to do is go to the park. but i hate going to parks and we've already been twice. and its just awkward. i d prefer talking at dinner and movies but i dont think he will ever do that cuz he said he had no money but he doesnt even look that poor.im sureh is parents could loan his SOME money for a date. like one time i so what is he doing? he said he really likes me and wants to see me but he doesn't even try! like we can at least see each other for like a few minutes on the weekdays but he said he has school. my cousin tells me to FORGET HIM but i cant cuz i still wannt to get to know him better OH and also he told me one time not to dress up when we were going to the movies. i was like uhh this is how i usualyl dress i have to dress up everytime i go out, and he said he doesnt like it when i always look better than him. is that a good thing or bad thing? its not like he dresses bad though

[Tuffcore]

so guys, i met this boy at camp a few weeks ago and we flirted the whole time and we hung out only a few times after that even tho we live 10-15 minutes away because he's always working or doing other stuff. we both told each other we liked each other but sometimes i feel like he has no interest in me at all. and he said he feels the same way. like he never calls me to talk at night, we only text >< he says his lil bro is in his room so he cant talk at night and we went one day without texdting each other. also the other night i wanted to go to his church with him and he said he would take me but he never said anything that day and later he said he went but he forgot to TELL ME cuz he was so busy. but when were together he's really sweet and funny. ok ay so we might do something this sat. but he said he has no money.. cuz he had to pay for his car that had problems and i was like omg... what are we gonna do. and all he wants to do is go to the park. but i hate going to parks and we've already been twice. and its just awkward. i d prefer talking at dinner and movies but i dont think he will ever do that cuz he said he had no money but he doesnt even look that poor.im sureh is parents could loan his SOME money for a date. like one time i so what is he doing? he said he really likes me and wants to see me but he doesn't even try! like we can at least see each other for like a few minutes on the weekdays but he said he has school. my cousin tells me to FORGET HIM but i cant cuz i still wannt to get to know him better

Cool, whatever he's doing, it's working.

Notes taken.

.

.

.

But for you, you need to play a little harder to get yourself. Occupy yourself with stuff to get busy with too and don't always be available. That will keep him focused on getting your attention back.

[Guest shooting_stars]

OK, so, I've built up a scenario and would like to hear your opinions on it please:

Say there's a girl from your old job that's interested in you, and you know it, because a mutual friend told you. You and the girl have never spoken to each other, although you are both aware of each other's presence. One year later, when you are visiting your old job, the girl finally decides to approach you and introduce herself. The girl is a straightforward person and doesn't like to beat around the bush. The conversation goes well; awkward at some points (in a funny way, though), but well. Now it's definitely confirmed that this girl is interested in you, and has been for a long time.

Would it be too bold of the girl to ask you out on a date the next time you see each other? Because it would be just the second time you guys will have ever talked. Or is that coming on too strongly? Moving too fast? She just wants to get to know you better since you guys don't see each other very often (because you no longer work at the same place). She doesn't expect anything romantic on your part, and she plans to tell you this when (and if) you guys hang out. Good idea?

Thanks in advance.

[Tuffcore]

OK, so, I've built up a scenario and would like to hear your opinions on it please:

Say there's a girl from your old job that's interested in you, and you know it, because a mutual friend told you. You and the girl have never spoken to each other, although you are both aware of each other's presence. One year later, when you are visiting your old job, the girl finally decides to approach you and introduce herself. The girl is a straightforward person and doesn't like to beat around the bush. The conversation goes well; awkward at some points (in a funny way, though), but well. Now it's definitely confirmed that this girl is interested in you, and has been for a long time.

Would it be too bold of the girl to ask you out on a date the next time you see each other? Because it would be just the second time you guys will have ever talked. Or is that coming on too strongly? Moving too fast? She just wants to get to know you better since you guys don't see each other very often (because you no longer work at the same place). She doesn't expect anything romantic on your part, and she plans to tell you this when (and if) you guys hang out. Good idea?

Thanks in advance.

You can't lose what you never had. So, go for it.

[Guest LiLLe]

Um sorry to say but that's not a good sign. You probably came on too strong and now he doesn't know how to say he feels awkward to talk to you... so he's taking the easy way out by avoiding contact with you altogether.

That was a bold move and i'm not sure if that's something you should do in the future unless you know 100% for sure the feelings are mutual.

The easiest thing to do is confront him and apologize for embarrassing yourself. Then listen to him as he does his best impression of, "oh, no no, i liked the video but but i just just... (insert a million excuses)." Then just be all like, oh that's okay. Hope we're still cool and can be friends.

But if you want him to like you,... i would advise something more drastic. You need to explode in anger when he makes an excuse. Call him out. Challenge his unwillingness to tell the truth and act all noble like you are all about the truth and stuff. Then walk away pissed at him. Trust me, that's an attractive personality and the only way to get to him at this point. He'll be non-stop thinking about you until the next time he can talk to you again.

you mean my feeling for him mutual? if so, then they are. i practice really hard for 3 weeks for that vid hah. he knows i like him though... he liked me but his ex got in the way of things, so now things are kinda weirdright now. i just wanted to do something nice for him but him not talking to me back makes me kind of sad.

LOL idk if i should do that, i think he might avoid me even more if i do that.. im not the type to explode at people haha.

should i just talk to him? not mention anything and just talk normally?