Ask The Fellas

[5880]

lol are you talking about the stick figure ones with those can-walkie-talkies? Cute.

I'm not sure if this counts as a gift idea, but why don't you write letters to each other? It's a sincere and sentimental effort toward maintaining contact with someone. You could randomly sent stuff over to each other like, "Oh I found a four leaf clover today and it made me think of you." Nothing that lame though aha Just a gesture of feelings and thought that they can look at in their drawer when they feel a bit lonely, you know?

[Guest]

I'm leaving for college in about 3 weeks and we'll be doing LDR. What are some good gift ideas relating to long distance? I was thinking of giving him those cute couple pillows (where if you put it side by side, it connects into a picture!), but I want to give him more because I won't be seeing him for months.

Saw a thread in Soompi with this idea but -- a picture frame, with a picture of the two of you! (: Or something more pricer would be one of those electronic photo frames that rotate over 1,000 photos.. but sometimes, old-school picture frame with a single picture of the two of you is <3. The couple pillows is a really cute idea too!^^ 

I'm sure he'd love anything you give him, seeing how you're giving a lot of thought into it~ 

[Guest Smelly Tofu]

This is ages ago but i am curious and want some opinion.

In detail.

This guy asked me out, he is an ok guy but in terms of physique he and I aren't the visually average couple. I was on the heavy end then, and he was skinnier then my 12 year old brother. He is a XS for jackets and I am a Medium-small. He was taller then me by 5cm but when i wore heels I just tower over him. so when i go shopping with him he will not walk along with me and act distance. but when we are by ourselves he treats me like the world revolves around me.He would fetch me food, get me drinks etc normal early phase stuff. 

I honestly know why the cause to difference in behavior but I want to know, does guys in general nowaday still care that a girl would be taller then them?, that maybe it will cause them to lose that man power etc, and why go for a girl bigger then you and shy away from it?. I put the stop on the second date because i know the guy can't accept who i am. So guys are the majority of guys our there will be like this one?

[Guest secretxtears]

If you're dating a girl that has a nice body but you find out that she's never dated is 18+ and has never lost her virginity what would you think? (: I've read that sometimes that's a huge turn off but I'm just wondering. Thanks! Oh and what if she prefers a slow relationship ie. hands off until I'm ready type of deal? 

[Tuffcore]

This is ages ago but i am curious and want some opinion.

In detail.

This guy asked me out, he is an ok guy but in terms of physique he and I aren't the visually average couple. I was on the heavy end then, and he was skinnier then my 12 year old brother. He is a XS for jackets and I am a Medium-small. He was taller then me by 5cm but when i wore heels I just tower over him. so when i go shopping with him he will not walk along with me and act distance. but when we are by ourselves he treats me like the world revolves around me.He would fetch me food, get me drinks etc normal early phase stuff. 

I honestly know why the cause to difference in behavior but I want to know, does guys in general nowaday still care that a girl would be taller then them?, that maybe it will cause them to lose that man power etc, and why go for a girl bigger then you and shy away from it?. I put the stop on the second date because i know the guy can't accept who i am. So guys are the majority of guys our there will be like this one?

Some guys have problems displaying affection in public settings.

If you're dating a girl that has a nice body but you find out that she's never dated is 18+ and has never lost her virginity what would you think? (: I've read that sometimes that's a huge turn off but I'm just wondering. Thanks! Oh and what if she prefers a slow relationship ie. hands off until I'm ready type of deal? 

Nice body = Turn on

Never dated before = Turn on

Not putting out = Turn off

[GreenTeax33]

This dude is confusing and annoying the HECK outta me = ="

Background:

Known him for about 5 years and I guess you could say that he was my first love (cliche I know). We had a fling a few years back before I actually started to like him and let's just say it didn't work out too well since we were both fairly young. As time went by my feelings from him grew stronger but then it kinda just developed into a sister - brother type of relationship. As in, I know him far too well for us to be in some sort of relationship, but I still have a bitttttt of lingering feelings for him (just a tiny tiny tiny bit). Because of this close relationship we have with each other my friends tease us and call us an old couple (since apparently arguing on a weekly bias = old couple behavior)

We've had this had a conversation about possibly lasting longer if we were older a couple of times but it was more a joke. Recently however this topic is appearing a little too much for my comfort. His antics also don't help!

1. He always brings up the "we could be together for a longer time at this age" then blow it off and be like "haha just kidding, you're not my type".

2. He would call me "dear" or "honey" or "darling" (randomly decided to do this one day). 

3. I went over to his house once and he put his arm around my waist. When I looked at him like wtf?! He starting tickling me instead.

Up until 4 days ago, I thought was just over analyzing it. Now I'm annoyed and frustrating since we had a convo that went like this:

M - My friends really need to shut up about us. It's getting annoying.

H - Haha. Who knows maybe I really will be that guy 10 years from now.

M - Uh no. Even if I liked you in that way, you wouldn't return those feelings.

H - You don't know that >___>

Bisssssh! Stop it! You're confusing me! What do you want?!

What does this mean )':

[Guest minicherries]

hey ! so i was at the gym earlier , and there were these 3 guys that were about my age

who looked at me when i walked in ,

so i went on those running machines ,and theres these working out

machines infront of the running machines LMAO :3 so those 3 guys that were about my age , one of them 

comes to the machines that are infront of me and starts to work out o___o... and occasionally would look at me .__. ...

he was sort of struggling so i started to kinda chuckle & then he left , and right after he left the other 2 guys come 

to the front to those same working out machines and starts to work out ... and would glance at me too -.-; 

were they trying to impress me o_____O ? !?

AND ALSO , what does asian booty disease mean ?. o_o

[Guest oneSWEETday]

So I've known this guy since last December. We met through my older sister on a party and we immediately clicked. But because he's really busy we only met again in March and since then a coupla times more but most of the times with other friends/siblings of his or mine. The times we did meet alone we were really close and also talked about relationships and love.... Then we kinda had a slump and hadn't seen each other for two months, mainly because he's really busy and his parents came over (from China) and are staying at his place for three months. He did introduce me to his parents and things feel alright when I'm with him. But we've actually never kissed or even held hands. And since I'm really shy I need him to make the first move. But maybe my shyness is making him also feel uncomfortable? Or do you think he just likes me as a friend and isn't interested in more. BTW he's got lotsa female friends. Insight appreciated!! Thx!!

[Guest HERMIT]

@ minicherries:

Those guys were probably doing a little of checking you out and trying to impress you combined. But probably with more emphasis on the former, considering that the first guy seemed to be struggling in the latter.

Asian Booty Disease is in reference to the stereotype that Asians don't have asses. As in, when it comes to shaking your booty dancing at the club, Asians stereotypically don't have much to work with.

@oneSWEETday:

To be honest, I don't think there's sufficient evidence to go by to give you a proper assessment. Kind of hard to when all you've given are basically quantitative aspects of your friendship with this guy. There's scant qualitative descriptions of how you two actually interact - not so much the PDA stuff, but the subtle nuances of how he acts/reacts to certain things you do/say around him. Maybe if you can describe in a little more detail the things that make you think he might like you, maybe we can better agree or disagree with you.

[Guest oneSWEETday]

@HERMIT: thanks for your reply. I guess it's difficult to assess from only hearing bits of the whole story, thanks for trying! So what makes me think that he could like me? I think he's really attentive towards me, like he's worried about my well-being, carries heavy stuff for me, asks me about my interests, hobbies, past love life... Actually there isn't any PDA going on anyways, but he asked me for example if he could take my hand to have a look at it, seeks a lot of eye contact and doesn't turn away from me... To me it seems as if he's interested but maybe I'm making him feel uncomfortable because I never initiate anything?

[Guest atomato]

He says he likes me but isn't ready for a serious relationship. We went to watch a movie the other day and he held my hand with one hand and touched my thigh with his other hand. And he kissed my ear too. The thing is, I'm looking for a serious relationship. I'm not sure if I actually like him or am I just physically attracted to him. I don't know if he's just using me, because whenever we talk on msn, he'd always bring up sex. I've never had a bf before let alone having sex. So yeah, I just need some input here, thanks.

[Guest akia_025]

Are guys in a serious thought if they said they want to marry you? My boyfriend been saying this most of the time. We're in college, and he's graduating (he's my senior) but we have plans of going to law school (if this fact would help). Thank you.

[Guest HERMIT]

He says he likes me but isn't ready for a serious relationship. We went to watch a movie the other day and he held my hand with one hand and touched my thigh with his other hand. And he kissed my ear too. The thing is, I'm looking for a serious relationship. I'm not sure if I actually like him or am I just physically attracted to him. I don't know if he's just using me, because whenever we talk on msn, he'd always bring up sex. I've never had a bf before let alone having sex. So yeah, I just need some input here, thanks.

Sounds like he's not the guy for you. His wants and needs are not compatible with yours, as simply evidenced by his actions. Unless you're finding yourself swayed to just having a friend with benefits, you should probably pull out of this one before anyone gets hurt due to feeling mislead.

Are guys in a serious thought if they said they want to marry you? My boyfriend been saying this most of the time. We're in college, and he's graduating (he's my senior) but we have plans of going to law school (if this fact would help). Thank you.

Well, I would hope anybody would be serious if they talk marriage. But possibly a good litmus test of genuine intentions is how long a person is willing to wait to see the goal of marriage through. Meaning, if a person is being too pushy and wanting a quick marriage date, the notion generally would be that there is not too much thought being put into it and that they're only into it for possibly the wrong reasons. However, say in your case, if your boyfriend is actually talking future and speaking of marriage only in the context of each of you first establishing yourselves in law school - then, it would seem that much more serious and considerable thought is being put into the notion of marriage.

[Guest jewleea]

So my best friend asked me out a month ago.  However, he's never called me, messaged me, or in anyway contacted me to make a date/hang out.  I know he doesn't want his mom to find out we're dating, but I don't think if he calls me or invites me once in a while his mom won't find out.  Also, last time I came over ( I had to come for a treatment since his mom's a doctor) he basically was on his computer or studying (for fun)..or trying to sleep.  

He's also changed a lot. He used to be really nice before we started going out, he'd invite me and talk to me a lot but now he's the opposite of that.  I don't get it? Is he really interested in me? I asked him if he doesn't want to go out with me anymore and he says that of course he still wants to but..how he acts..you know >.> Help?

[Guest kidfromkorea]

He says he likes me but isn't ready for a serious relationship. We went to watch a movie the other day and he held my hand with one hand and touched my thigh with his other hand. And he kissed my ear too. The thing is, I'm looking for a serious relationship. I'm not sure if I actually like him or am I just physically attracted to him. I don't know if he's just using me, because whenever we talk on msn, he'd always bring up sex. I've never had a bf before let alone having sex. So yeah, I just need some input here, thanks.

yea he wants to have sex with you.

he's just looking for a quick fling.

in my honest opinion.

because that is what i used to do, too.

[Guest bk.]

Guys, is it a complete turn-off for you if a girl has a lot of guy friends? Or if she's friendly with a lot of guys?

Would you not ask out a girl because of this?

(thanks in advance!)

[Guest hkukaudition]

Guys how often do you bring up sex in conversation with your GF?

My BF seems to bring it up all the time and whilst i do enjoy it.. i feel sometimes like its the only thing he wants in the relationship. Is this just how guys are..? Or is my BF thinking about it a little bit too much?

I asked him what he would do if i held off for longer at the beginning of my relationship (we're both each others 1st btw) and he said that he wouldn't be with me if i wasn't going to do it with him. I felt kind of hurt when he said that, i know it doesnt matter because whats done is done but still...

[Guest originalhype]

Guys, is it a complete turn-off for you if a girl has a lot of guy friends? Or if she's friendly with a lot of guys?

Would you not ask out a girl because of this?

(thanks in advance!)

Not a turn off but it does worry us because if we happen to argue or get in a  fight. One of your Guy friends will definitely be there to comfort you and you would be telling him everything about how you feel and what happen in the fight. That definitely richard simmons us off and get us worry because you are not telling us how you feel but instead you tell your guy friends. It's a guarantee you guy friends will try to look us bad.

I feel the same way about girl talking about guys because it's unfair.

Guys how often do you bring up sex in conversation with your GF?

My BF seems to bring it up all the time and whilst i do enjoy it.. i feel sometimes like its the only thing he wants in the relationship. Is this just how guys are..? Or is my BF thinking about it a little bit too much?

I asked him what he would do if i held off for longer at the beginning of my relationship (we're both each others 1st btw) and he said that he wouldn't be with me if i wasn't going to do it with him. I felt kind of hurt when he said that, i know it doesnt matter because whats done is done but still...

For me, when i am alone with a woman, i do bring it up all the time, but when going out, i sometimes do but not really. When your young, homes are up, it's only natural to do so.

As for the main situation, it that really what he wants then dump up and go to the next guy. Don't be sticking around for too long if it just hurts you.

[Guest kidfromkorea]

Guys, is it a complete turn-off for you if a girl has a lot of guy friends? Or if she's friendly with a lot of guys?

Would you not ask out a girl because of this?

(thanks in advance!)

it wouldnt stop me.

but if the girl was flirty to all her guy friends like she would to me, then id be worried.

as long as she has the clear line between a guy friend and a boyfriend then that's cool.

personally, i enjoy girls who get along with guys, they're easier to get along with.

in my opinion.

Guys how often do you bring up sex in conversation with your GF?

My BF seems to bring it up all the time and whilst i do enjoy it.. i feel sometimes like its the only thing he wants in the relationship. Is this just how guys are..? Or is my BF thinking about it a little bit too much?

I asked him what he would do if i held off for longer at the beginning of my relationship (we're both each others 1st btw) and he said that he wouldn't be with me if i wasn't going to do it with him. I felt kind of hurt when he said that, i know it doesnt matter because whats done is done but still...

wow i might've been a douchebag in the past, i have never ever said that in my entire macking career, even if that is how i felt. that sentence alone pretty much describes what he wants in this relationship.

but to be sure, here's how you can find out that sex is the only thing he wants in a relationship.

list all the places you guys went on your last 10 dates

if there is a pattern of him taking you to places where you guys can be alone, like your house, his house, karaoke, movie rooms, etc... then you can pretty much say that that's all he thinks about.

but, if he takes you to places where you guys just enjoy time together (and it will be difficult for him to put his hands inside your pants), like an amusement park or seomthing, then i guess you can just assume he's just really horny about you sometimes.

and i guess you should consider it flattering that someone is so turned on about you.

[Guest HERMIT]

Guys, is it a complete turn-off for you if a girl has a lot of guy friends? Or if she's friendly with a lot of guys?

Would you not ask out a girl because of this?

Yes, speaking for myself, I do find it a bit of a turn-off. It's just harder to gauge a girl's exclusive interest in you if she is outgoing with a lot of guys.

Another thing is a sort of "competition" factor. Guys know how other guys think, so if a girl seems a bit more outgoing and friendly with other guys, there's a perceived chance that one guy will misinterpret her actions and think that he has a chance with her as well. If that is your personality, then that's your personality. You shouldn't have to change your personality to nab a guy. There are some guys who are more self-assured and probably welcome that kind of perceived 'competition' and establishing a bit of 'territoriality'. Just be cognizant that some guys are a bit reserved and would like to have that assurance that something in their relationship with an outgoing girl is exclusive to the two of them. If you happen to fall for a guy like that, just be sensitive to that in helping him ease out of that shell as well as perhaps being more mindful of how you act with the other guy friends.

Guys how often do you bring up sex in conversation with your GF?

My BF seems to bring it up all the time and whilst i do enjoy it.. i feel sometimes like its the only thing he wants in the relationship. Is this just how guys are..? Or is my BF thinking about it a little bit too much?

I asked him what he would do if i held off for longer at the beginning of my relationship (we're both each others 1st btw) and he said that he wouldn't be with me if i wasn't going to do it with him. I felt kind of hurt when he said that, i know it doesnt matter because whats done is done but still...

Personally, I don't bring it up unless the vibe seems to indicate that it's okay to do so. I guess it just depends upon the girl. I just try to make it a point to be sensitive to the girl's comfort level in discussing it. Sometimes you just know that the mood is right. As for your case, I think your BF's eagerness to talk about it is just a function of him being a 'first-timer' with you and the whole experience being still fresh and exciting in his mind. I think it's normal given the circumstances and that this eagerness will gradually dissipate as he adds more to his sexual history (preferably with you, of course).