When your friend brings her boyfriend along every time you guys hang out

[Guest 한스 ㅋㅋ]

well some bf is pretty fun and chill to be with.

this is a different example, but my friend ( gal) has a bf and whenver we hang out she asks him to come.

and we're ok since he's a pretty chill guy (but we are guys so ye)

but sometimes there are those moments when we play something, then those two are outside doing their lovey dovey thing.

but I mean im cool with that, outside is a gud idea i dun wanna c them do it

[Guest doofus9]

give her a month. if shes still inviting her everywhere with you guys then you should sit down and talk to her about the problem. it could be that shes beginning to become dependent on him

[Guest starbleedsaway]

I understand how you feel, this situation has happened to me more than once by more than one friend.

It might not even be the "honeymoon" phase as some call it. One of my friends had been dating a guy for well over two years and each time he tagged along she would make excuses to leave the group earlier.

I think it's fine for a friend to bring a bf if the bf gets along well with all the friends in the group and doesn't end up ruining the mood by making that friend exclude everyone.

[Guest mangchilo]

I can understand why you're annoyed (I hope "pissed" is an exaggeration), but I agree that she's probably not doing it on purpose. If you're all used to being single before now and haven't had to learn to balance friends vs. significant other, then you might need to talk to her explicitly about what you think is acceptable etiquette when one of you has a boyfriend. I don't think it's that bad to bring her boyfriend along sometimes, as long as he gets along with everyone--but it's a definite foul if they pretty much go off and act like everyone else isn't there...and then expect you to take care of the boyfriend's transportation at the last minute.

If I were you, I'd tell your friend that even if she brings her boyfriend along, they should recognize that it's not a date. If you guys feel like you never actually hang out with her even when she's there, then gently tell her so, because she probably doesn't realize how you feel. You may also want to suggest that her boyfriend might find it awkward to hang out with a whole group of close girl friends all the time, so she'd be doing everyone a favor if she didn't bring him along all the time and then feel like she has to make sure he doesn't get bored.

On the other hand, if you don't so much mind him as the fact that he's always there without advance notice, then why not try to compromise? When you really envision a get-together that's just your group, mention right away that it's "just us girls;" then when it's something that everyone can do, go ahead and just say "Why don't you invite your boyfriend, too?" That way it won't be a last-minute surprise to you, and it won't make her feel like you're hostile to her boyfriend. Try to make it clear which outings are not good for her boyfriend to tag along for and which are fine. When it's a boyfriend-approved occasion, try to involve him more in whatever you're doing so he feels like he's really welcome and a part of it. Just bring them back to earth jokingly if they start to go off in their own little world so they're more aware of it.

So far, I've been lucky enough to have pretty good experiences with friends' boyfriends being willing to participate and not just whisk their girlfriends away from the group, so I've never really minded third wheeling or having the boyfriend there with a group of friends. Maybe it's because this didn't become a potential issue in my friends' lives until college. Hanging out with couples is a part of life more and more as people get older, so it's something you're going to have to get used to eventually, but your friend and her boyfriend also need to learn the art of being a polite couple when they're in larger groups of people.

[Guest _kucha]

I know someone like that.

"Lets go shopping"

"Sorry, bf is tired."

*Pshhh...what?!*

Where "I/You" becomes "We". I think it's annoying I guess it will die when maybe they realise they've become too dependent on each other, sort of? I don't think it's on purpose, probably doesn't know she's doing it. I guess you'll have to tough it, maybe later confront her but you may risk getting into an argument, lose a friend. [unless the relationship fails, apology, crawl back.]

[Guest [Deleted User]]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Guest shakemyhand]

She's in a stage where she wants to show her boyfriend off to the world, and spend as much time with him as possible. Early in relationships people find it very difficult to set boundaries because they're in somewhat of a honeymoon phase. Think of it as blissful ignorance. 

 

Give it some time, they'll need some space from one another sooner or later. If it keeps happening, communicate! Nothing will change if she doesn't know how you feel. 

Oh and about the car situation: I think that's pretty crazy if it happens on a regular basis. Definitely talk to both of them and make sure they understand you aren't her boyfriends personal taxi driver. 

[Guest riceasaurr]

She's only in the first stages of her relationship, so it would be expected that she would constantly be with her boyfriend.

If she was doing extreme PDA (personal displays of affection) every time you guys hung out, then that would be a different story.

If you want it to only be a girls night out, then you might want to tell her before hand so she knows not to invite her boyfriend.

[Guest xReiko-Love]

LOL, i like how you use the word play. ^^

anyways, i guess I would be pissed too. but i guess you could just be happy for her. she may not be with him for so long. just give it some time. if it keeps up, then yea, maybe tell her before hand? ^^

[Guest prettyLOVEE]

That's pretty inconsiderate of her. It's different if there are a lot of other couples but if its an all girls hang out I'd never bring my bf.. would totally make the atmosphere different and obviously concentrate on him more than my girls<3

[Guest Special Ed]

Whether its the honeymoon/puppy love stage or not, I have friends who do that even when its a few years into the relationship.

If its just a general/random hang out, then I wouldn't mind if her bf came long. We're all friends so whatever.

But if its a specific hang out with a specific guest list, then yes I would be irritated if she invited the bf along.

I specifically invited my friend and her sister to a New Years festival, and she invited her bf the last minute. I wanted to hang out with her and her sister, not them plus him, because at the end of the day we didn't even hang out. She went off with him and left us. So its like I just invited her to go have a date with her bf.

I guess its just a sense of learning manners all over again, in a way. You have to know when its appropriate and not appropriate to bring the bf/gf to an event where they were not invited, and maybe even purposely excluded. Yes they're your lover, but that doesn't entitle them to show up for occasions where your closest friends want to spend time with YOU, not you and him.

But then again, I'm pretty spiteful towards clingy couples who can't seem to do anything without the other. Horrible memories from biology lab groups ... ugh.

[teaispink]

><" sounds like i'm ur gf...

at first i thought it was just the honeymoon stage but it somehow lasted till today... 2 years.

He brings me everywhere, family and friends. I sometime feel like i shouldn't be around

thinking that it'll make his friend or family feel awkward and i tell him that they might not be comfortable

but he still insist of me going and that they'll get used to it later and they do get comfortable... we're very inseparable.

However!!! we don't kiss and hug in front people that we hang out with, we try to make everyone as comfortable as possible? at least that is what i think... and my best friend is fine with it.... i don't bring him all the time, but when he's there it's pretty ok.

Maybe the phase will fade after a few months... it won't last 4ever, unless she's like me and my bf.