When your friend brings her boyfriend along every time you guys hang out

[Guest YUMgoguma]

How would you take it?

Basically, one of my closest friends found herself a boyfriend over the summer, and she's been inviting him to come with us whenever we're going out to hang out, without letting us know until the last minute. We've been a group of close friends (who are all single and are girls) and now that she's got a boyfriend, she invites him to tag along practically every time we hang out. It kinda frustrates me because none of us have boyfriends except for her, and she basically goes off with him and we're just there by ourselves. For instance, she kept suggesting for us to go over to play at her house, so we said alright, and then invited her boyfriend to go too and told us the day of. I ended up having to go out of my way to drive him home.

So is it just me who's overreacting, or would anyone be a bit pissed in this kinda situation? I think what I'm trying to get at is that, if she wants to spend time with her boyfriend, she could do it by herself; I don't understand why she always chooses to do it on the days when we're going out.

[MrPower]

Basically, one of my closest friends found herself a boyfriend over the summer, and she's been inviting him to come with us whenever we're going out to hang out, without letting us know until the last minute. We've been a group of close friends (who are all single and are girls) and now that she's got a boyfriend, she invites him to tag along practically every time we hang out. It kinda frustrates me because none of us have boyfriends except for her, and she basically goes off with him and we're just there by ourselves. For instance, she kept suggesting for us to go over to play at her house, so we said alright, and then invited her boyfriend to go too and told us the day of. I ended up having to go out of my way to drive him home.

So is it just me who's overreacting, or would anyone be a bit pissed in this kinda situation? I think what I'm trying to get at is that, if she wants to spend time with her boyfriend, she could do it by herself; I don't understand why she always chooses to do it on the days when we're going out.

Before I start, your avatar is hilarious.

It's not something to be "pissed off" about. Perhaps irritated, but nothing more than that.

Perhaps to invoke some envy in her friends?

Talk to her about it, it's the only way you'll get this issue resolved.

Communication is key to any relationship.

[Guest Malice_Kaiser]

She's in the so-called "honeymoon stage" still. Give her a break. I can understand being irritated because you may feel jealous, but you shouldn't be PISSED at her. Next time you make plans, just say "Let's just make it you and me, it's been a while since just us friends hung out." She can't read your mind so don't expect her to adhere to your expectations if you don't speak up.

Relax a bit, or else what you're feeling is going to turn into pure resentment, and that will be a mistake.

[j'adoreAZNpop]

I would be pissed too. If you still want to hang out with her somewhere, maybe you can try mentioning "just us girls only".

[Guest x33chiinkiee]

my friends used to have a problem with it when I was the only one that had a boyfriend & some even told me their anger or whatever with it. turns out the moment they started having boyfriends, they kept inviting their boyfriends as well & if their bfs weren't there, they'd be on the phone with them 24/7. the only reason why I got pissed about it with them was because they kept yelling at me when I just tried to call him for less than a minute to tell him I wouldn't be home for a while & stuff. ; this is gonna go into a whole new thread if I were to keep this ongoing haha

but point is, just give her a break. she's happy isn't she? be a good friend & try to at least support her.. but if you really aren't happy about it, talk it out with her.

[Guest cherrierus]

I've experienced that many many times and every time I feel the same. Extremely mad!

The most recent one:

One of my bestest friends is super outgoing and the go to girl whenever we got bored because she would be up for doing anything with us and most times we would just go to her house to chill. So she gets this boyfriend and everything is fine for about a year until slowly and recently she stops hanging out with us and is like a total other person. She is always with her boyfriend who has no friends and he's sucking the life out of her. We would have girls night only and specifically and he would tag along while none of the other boyfriends did and when he's around its like she's not even there because she is so consumed with him. I know the honeymoon stage is over, its been almost 2 years now.

It happened to two other friends, same exact thing where it got to the point we didn't talk anymore because we didn't exist in their lives anymore and its extremely frustrating and hurting. But eventually they snapped out of it and realized what they did and things return to normal after some time.

So even after this happening to me a couple times I really don't know how to deal with it. My suggestion is just trying to make GIRLS ONLY nights and if he tags along confront her about it telling her whatever you feel.

[ParappaRappa]

i've had friends that have done something like that. one of my friends was complaining to me about it one time because one of our friends kept doing that to her.

when a friend did it to me, i was kind of disappointed because i wanted to hang out with just her to catch up. we were just going to go clothes shopping. but i actually found out from her boyfriend the night before that he was coming along, hahah. i think he said she really, really wanted him to come and begged or something? i kind of got an idea she didn't like hanging out with me. o_o

and ever since then she hasn't ever really talked to me or invited me out except to be a third wheel because her parents don't allow her to hang out with her boyfriend alone. and in those cases, i tell her to ask someone else...hahaha there's no fun being the third wheel x_x one time i came so that her parents would see i was there too, then walked an hour home so she could be alone with him. but i'm never doing that for her again hahah

the only thing you can really do about it is to talk to them about it.

none of us had the guts to do it, hahaha. we knew they were in their honeymoon stage and we just didn't want to say anything D:

i never got very angry about it, but my other friend did. but when i told her to just talk about it with our friend, she wouldn't.

[Guest raspb3rry]

I am guilty of doing that, but I don't think she does it on purpose to cause envy. And I also don't think that she realises that it's a problem - if that's the case, you should talk to her about it; if it's hard to bring up the subject, you could drop subtle hints.

She just started dating, and it's normal that they would want to spend more time together. You guys being her close friends, she would probably want you to get to know him better.

But, why did you have to get out of your way to drive him home?

[Guest YUMgoguma]

Haha, MrPower.

Thanks for your input, guys. I'm not exactly mad pissed at her, I'd just like for her to not make her boyfriend as if he's the center of her life or something, and invite him to plans without even telling us beforehand. I'm fine with her having a boyfriend--I support her as a matter of fact--I guess it has a little to do with feeling envious and she basically going off on her own when we should all be playing together.

I am guilty of doing that, but I don't think she does it on purpose to cause envy. And I also don't think that she realises that it's a problem - if that's the case, you should talk to her about it; if it's hard to bring up the subject, you could drop subtle hints.

She just started dating, and it's normal that they would want to spend more time together. You guys being her close friends, she would probably want you to get to know him better.

But, why did you have to get out of your way to drive him home?

He didn't have a ride home, and I was the only one who could drive.

[Guest AMIbunny]

I know how this feels! One of my friends, most of the time, brings her boyfriend. It's really awkward because when we are in a group, they end up isolating in their own lovey-dovey world and hug and kiss and stuff D:.

They should know that people need time away from their boyfriends. If there were also guys there, then maybe it wouldn't be so awkward for him to be there..but since it was all girls, he shouldn't have went.

[Guest B L o T T - ii]

it's pretty annoying >"<

you can say you're having a girls day out, or you guys can befriend her bf

But since you guys are such close friends, just tell her u'd prefer it if her bf didn't come along. she should understand imo.

[Guest CrazyDopey]

don't worry about it. her bf would get tired of it soon or later, hanging wif only girls, since girls only gossip! i bring my bf along sometime and my friend *beep* at me a cpl of times, but its okay. cause my bf was like "man girls..." :)and he never follow me again~ its a phrase, once the phrase is over everything would be okay.

[Ninshark]

yah, it sucks, but you have to let your friends do their thing/have their fun or you wouldn't be a good friend either. When they break up- make sure you take her back though! but no 2nd chances if the same thing ensues.

My best friend ditched me for his girlfriend after I planned something special for a month- celebrating my achievements that he helped me through in the past 2 years. I was really hopeful too, but last minute he backed out- so I went alone.

[Guest CorruptedSilence__nomore]

you can suck it up or tell her kindly that you want girl time. i never really had the bf problem because my friend's bfs were always people i'm cool with and became really good friends with. she's not psychic so you'll need to tell her if it bugs you. but do it in a way that doesn't jeopardize your friendship or make her feel like its an ultimatum.

[_siku_]

It's okay to feel annoyed or irritated at your friend, they are still at the honeymoon stage so w.e lol.

My bestfriend, from the beginning she would always bring her bf when I hang out with her, sometimes I don't mind but..I feel jealous when they are being lovey-dovey with each other haha. Once I got frustrated and told her sometimes I want to hang out with her only. She understood and yea~

Now, she hardly bring her bf when she hangs out with me because her bf also feel awkward to hang out with 2 girls only lol. If I have a bf then we would do a double date together haha.

[Guest angels.disguise]

I'd feel annoyed, especially if I had to drive her boyfriend home.

She's probably in the beginning stage of the relationship where she

absolutely has to bring her boyfriend everywhere 24/7. Eventually

she'll either ease up on taking him everywhere or she won't hang with

you guys anymore lol.

Just suck it up for a while?

[Guest annahhbel]

My friend use to do the same thing just to make the rest of us jealous.  She finally admit it after 4 months of going out with him, go figure. 

But she's still your friend..no need to get pissed, just irritated.

I let my friends do what they want.  I have no say in it 

[Guest HoneyGreenTea]

I think you have the right to be mad ! Especially if it was just the two of you girls chilling and she decides to bring her bf along.

I have had that happen to me sooo many times from the same friend and we were like best friends.

And every time I talked to her about it she felt bad but then its like she would completely forget and just do it again...

Especially when you don't really talk to her bf that much either... makes you feel like such a third wheel because she will be walking off with him and kissing in front of you lol

Hahaha I think I am going slightly off topic... but anyways yeah I know how you feel though even if we were in a group and she brings her bf its pretty annoying and I definitely think you do have the right to be angry with her.  

She should know better than that especially if she is one of your closest friends.

See when I got a  bf and she didn't have one I never invited him to a girls day/night and that is how it should be like.  

And also because I know how it feels when one of your close friends do that.  

[Guest [Deleted User]]

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[Guest nomad_olga]

wow i was gonna make a similar thread lol

Yeah about your situation, I don't think she's doing it on purpose to richard simmons you off.

I think its more the fact that this guy is a part of her life now and she still cares about you guys,

so she wants her friends to get along with her bf and vice versa.

But its also understandable from your point of view. I mean I'm sure i'd be like "wth why is he here?"

If he's making an effort to get to know you and your other friends too it shouldn't be too bad. Unless

theyre too busy being engrossed in each other then thats different.

Like another person stated. If it bothers you that much, just arrange an outting with her only.