My Bf Wants To Go Into The Military

[sueko-chan]

for the wrong reasons.....

ok so my cureent Bf wants to go into the miltary beasue he NEEDS MONEY!

this is so stupid. i could see if he wanted to serve his country but the fact that he wants to go just for money is stupid.

the other reason he wants to do military is

-he can get away from his bit*hy mom and abusive dad

-he can have money to pay for the phone bill

-so when i graduate he can support both of us.

he just so dumb sometimes.

he needs to save money but he just goes and buys a 500$ phone.

and he plays ALOT of initial D and maximum tune games.

also just today he quit his job at mcdonalds.

he quit cuz they wouldnt let him take off. and he was an assistant manager.

i know that if he joins he wont see me for a long time and thats a reason why he quit his job at mcdonalds.

he complins about seeing me and if he joins hes gonna be complaining even more.

i really want someone to help me idk who to turn to.

i tried talking to him but he just doesnt get it.

he is only worried about money.

is there any other people out there in the same siuation?

or people that could help me?

i want to make sure that he does this for the right reasons.

the economy is just so bad i dont know if he could get a job so this would be good

but at the same time he is just worried about other things.

oh BTW hes 19 and didnt go to college yet since people were pm'ing me about this.

he wants to wait until i graduate to go to school.

[Guest prisonerzero]

I know quite a few people that do it for the money.

[Guest Meenuh]

Sounds like the military will do him some good. He's not gonan be able to quit cause he gets pissed off they won't let him take off. Let him do it. It sounds like he needs it.

[Guest NangTienUt]

mm. my boyfriend joined the marines on the like crappiest plan they have. but they're paying for 2 years for college for him and its his last year. we still see each other kuz he's just lance corporal i think. mmhmm. but, i mean, it's up to you guys. the longest he's been away was for basic training. maybe you should sit down with him and discuss like everything the good side and then the down side. dont let it be like a eh, i guess thing.

i like how Meenuh thinks. XD

[Guest Seraphyx]

Let his thick-head get the better of him and let him learn the hard way not to be a griping moron. It's call HIS life and not YOUR life, so let him join by all means. If he truly wants to join the military then let him do it.

[Guest PhuongNguyen]

Seems like he's contradicting everything he says.

I mean, I don't think you'll be able to convince him. Your boyfriends sounds like the kind of guy that just does everything without thinking of the consequences.

[Guest .:Lushes:.]

I don't think those reasons are stupid at all. I know a lot of people who joined the military because 1.) they need money, but they don't have an adequate background, 2.) want to be more in life, but school isn't their "thing"..etc...and they come out as a very different, and better person. The military may very well do him some good.

[Guest puzzlebox]

Let his thick-head get the better of him and let him learn the hard way not to be a griping moron. It's call HIS life and not YOUR life, so let him join by all means. If he truly wants to join the military then let him do it.

I counter that... If they're in a relationship then he's bond to be part of her life. If they were just friends then she should respect his decision. Don't just go around saying it's HIS life so she should just buzz off, his decision will have an impact on her life. If she's asking for help, then HELP her not just tell her to encourage his decision which she clearly doesnt. What if he gets sent to the front line and dies? Just stfu and gtfo if you don't got anything GOOD to say.

Anyways... talk to his parents, close friends, your friends and hope that they will also convince him to change his mind and actually get a REAL job. Encourage him to view life differently, not everything is about money. Life IS about passion not money. Anyways whatever the outcome, hope things will turn out great.

[Guest jbigdog123]

I was in the Navy for 6 years and first two years or so, there isn't much of money to be saved unless you are a miser.

But since most of us are young, we tend to go out and spend money, especially in overseas.

FWIW, for many young people, the military is an eye opening experience and not all make it out of first years,

seen too many people get kicked out in first year because they cannot adapt to rigid military structure.

And if you get a Bad Conduct Discharge, you are screwed in civilian job market, no one wants to hire some one with BCD.

[MNLV27]

My s/o is in the marines, I didn't want him to go but then I could see that he was determined to go because he wanted to change his ways and he thought that it can make him a better person. He signed a four year contract and recently came back from boot camp but he's leaving again tomorrow. I think that going for the money is not a bad idea, I mean, if it's what he wants, then there isn't really much that anyone can do, what you can do right now is just try and support him.

And this may make him a better person, a good challenge for him to overcome.

[Guest Seraphyx]

I counter that... If they're in a relationship then he's bond to be part of her life. If they were just friends then she should respect his decision. Don't just go around saying it's HIS life so she should just buzz off, his decision will have an impact on her life. If she's asking for help, then HELP her not just tell her to encourage his decision which she clearly doesnt. What if he gets sent to the front line and dies? Just stfu and gtfo if you don't got anything GOOD to say.

Anyways... talk to his parents, close friends, your friends and hope that they will also convince him to change his mind and actually get a REAL job. Encourage him to view life differently, not everything is about money. Life IS about passion not money. Anyways whatever the outcome, hope things will turn out great.

I'm sorry, but your argument about a relationship is very incorrect. If you have 1+1 you get 2 right? However 2 is made up of individual 1's. If you say that just because they are in a relationship that he is obligated to have her hold him back from what he wants to do is wrong. Even if you are in a relationship it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your individuality or your lifestyle. So GTFO and STFU noob. In life you answer only to one person which is yourself, meaning that you are not entitled to having to conform to another person. I stand by it's his life and solely his life, thus it means this is his choice and only HIS choice.

[Guest puzzlebox]

I'm sorry, but your argument about a relationship is very incorrect. If you have 1+1 you get 2 right? However 2 is made up of individual 1's. If you say that just because they are in a relationship that he is obligated to have her hold him back from what he wants to do is wrong. Even if you are in a relationship it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your individuality or your lifestyle. So GTFO and STFU noob. In life you answer only to one person which is yourself, meaning that you are not entitled to having to conform to another person. I stand by it's his life and solely his life, thus it means this is his choice and only HIS choice.

In a relationship it is true it is made up of 2 individuals, but they are to act as one. What's the point of a relationship if all they're going to do is act totally differently living two individual lives. Don't be telling me how i view relationship is incorrect, talk about yourself. So just because he wants to go to the military doesn't mean she should just stand there and just let him do whatever he wants. It's exactly like the same thing watching him jumping off a building. What you're saying is let him live their own lives, so you're basically saying letting him jump off a building just because it's THEIR lives while you just stand by and just gaze at them hopping off. How you grasp relationships is BS. In life you can't just answer to yourself, there will ALWAYS be an influence in your life that will shape you in a way. It may be his life, but SHE has the right to consider his decision, because they are in a relationship and in a relationship two becomes 1.

If you cannot percieve this concept, please get yourself in a relationship, seems like you have no experience at all.

[Guest .:Lushes:.]

In a relationship it is true it is made up of 2 individuals, but they are to act as one. What's the point of a relationship if all they're going to do is act totally differently living two individual lives. Don't be telling me how i view relationship is incorrect, talk about yourself. So just because he wants to go to the military doesn't mean she should just stand there and just let him do whatever he wants. It's exactly like the same thing watching him jumping off a building. What you're saying is let him live their own lives, so you're basically saying letting him jump off a building just because it's THEIR lives while you just stand by and just gaze at them hopping off. How you grasp relationships is BS. In life you can't just answer to yourself, there will ALWAYS be an influence in your life that will shape you in a way. It may be his life, but SHE has the right to consider his decision, because they are in a relationship and in a relationship two becomes 1.

If you cannot percieve this concept, please get yourself in a relationship, seems like you have no experience at all.

Its true that she may be too individualistic when talking about relationships, but on the contrary, I think you are also wrong. Relationship is about what's best for one another, and in this case, I think the bf should know what is best for him. As his gf, I think she should support him all the way. My bf is in the military, in the beginning, I didn't want him to leave either, but I knew it was for the best. After he joined, he changed into a much, much, better person, and I'm so glad that instead of stopping him, I supported him all the way. This is only one of many similar stories. As for the topic starter, I believe that you and your bf should first look at other alternatives to make money before resorting to the military. However, if it so happens that he really does join the military, as his gf, you should try your best to be there for him. As stated before, relationships are about looking out for one another best interests. Its selfish to hold him back from what he think can potentially do him good. If you're worry that he may be put on the front line, then I say don't or at least not yet because there are many branches, different sections, in the military that are assigned to different missions. (not saying that there isn't a possibility) BEST OF LUCK! =]

[Guest Seraphyx]

In a relationship it is true it is made up of 2 individuals, but they are to act as one. What's the point of a relationship if all they're going to do is act totally differently living two individual lives. Don't be telling me how i view relationship is incorrect, talk about yourself. So just because he wants to go to the military doesn't mean she should just stand there and just let him do whatever he wants. It's exactly like the same thing watching him jumping off a building. What you're saying is let him live their own lives, so you're basically saying letting him jump off a building just because it's THEIR lives while you just stand by and just gaze at them hopping off. How you grasp relationships is BS. In life you can't just answer to yourself, there will ALWAYS be an influence in your life that will shape you in a way. It may be his life, but SHE has the right to consider his decision, because they are in a relationship and in a relationship two becomes 1.

If you cannot percieve this concept, please get yourself in a relationship, seems like you have no experience at all.

I do have more experience than you, for I can see that you must consider the needs of the other person. Two does not become one, you obsessive fool, two is two and will remain two. You can't say that people simply "merge" in a relationship, people are individuals. Therefore, you have no right over your s/o, but your S/o can impact greatly. You are too fanciful in your perception of a relationship and thus I deem you inexperienced since it sounds like the only relationship you've been in is BDSM.

1+1 = 2 but, 2 is made up of individual 1's.

2 does not = 1.

Edit~

By the way, Way solid~ \/

[bbyBoss]

In a relationship it is true it is made up of 2 individuals, but they are to act as one. What's the point of a relationship if all they're going to do is act totally differently living two individual lives. Don't be telling me how i view relationship is incorrect, talk about yourself. So just because he wants to go to the military doesn't mean she should just stand there and just let him do whatever he wants. It's exactly like the same thing watching him jumping off a building. What you're saying is let him live their own lives, so you're basically saying letting him jump off a building just because it's THEIR lives while you just stand by and just gaze at them hopping off. How you grasp relationships is BS. In life you can't just answer to yourself, there will ALWAYS be an influence in your life that will shape you in a way. It may be his life, but SHE has the right to consider his decision, because they are in a relationship and in a relationship two becomes 1.

If you cannot percieve this concept, please get yourself in a relationship, seems like you have no experience at all.

Are you honest? Even people who have a twin sibling don't "act as one". What makes you think that applies to a relationship? You actually don't WANT relationships to act as one. Are you saying that one person will be bent one way or another and "join as one" with their other half? That's just like throwing your whole personality away. The point of a relationship is to ALSO have a life of your own. Being in a relationship also means once in awhile you respect the other person. And I don't like how your examples come out to be. How can you compare jumping off a dxmn building to going off to serve in he military? Don't you find your comparison a little invalid?

[Guest PoooBear]

@puzzlebox: Here's a simple answer. She's his GIRLFRIEND, not his WIFE. He's barely obligated to her for anything. But it's HIS life not hers+him, unless they get married then that'd be a different story. But she's 16 so I think it's unlikely that their gonna get married soon (but I don't know that )

To the OP: I think he needs it. He sounds young... and immature. Plus I know a lot of people who go because of money and school. Don't worry, he'll go to boot camp first anyway I know loads of guys that graduated with me and went into the military, and they became more mature and they were not high-school boys anymore.

[L.FOR.LOVE]

well, my godbro told m last year he wanted to join the military to use guns and then he wants to go overseas and a billion things and iwouldn't se himfor ages and igot angry at him >_>"

you guys are 16 right .. and thats like young to think about supporting both of you guys and stuff ALREADY O_o

talk to him about it

make him more money conservative

[Guest twig*star]

It's exactly like the same thing watching him jumping off a building.

soooooo what i got from this is - joining the military, it's like jumping off a bridge ....... and military is not a real job? mate, that is just a wrong thing to say.

Life IS about passion not money.

i wonder if i can eat passion ...... passion, it's what puts food on the table .... passion doesn't grow on trees .... rofl xD

and omg! the maths. soompi is supposed to be a maths free zone! T_T

seriously, although i do AGREE with what everyone said, the fickleness of the OP's bf makes me think that he really doesn't have what it takes to join the military - no balls. be supportive though - get him doing exercise to prep for military training. 30 min interval running sessions, 50 pushups to start, 50 stomach crunches to start. aim is 500 for both (i remember reading that britney spears used to do 500 a day) and building to say x miles in under y minutes. that's just the beginning but watch him puke his guts out if he's unfit ...... this way if he's serious still about joining then at lest youre still doing the right thing by helping him to attain his goals.

well that was fun ....

[Guest supa'Wanki]

I'd go to the military for the money. The military has GREAT benefits. It might be his last opportunity to get somewhere in the world, let him go. If you know that there is another option other than the military, show it to him. Don't just tell him he can't go.

[Guest nicorobin]

Wow. This thread somehow turned into a debate on what a relationship means. My 2 cents on that whole 1+1=2 vs. 1+1=1 stuff only pertains to serious/engaged couples or married couples. Never put your life on hold for some dude you may not even be with in a week/month/year.

I have a friend that just got married. Her husband was in the Army for the past few years, and is still currently stationed down south. What he ultimately decides is not necessarily the death of your relationship unless you want to use it as an excuse.

Back to the OP's query. Sounds like the armed forces will do him some good. I know several people, including my brother and cousin who's been in the Army & Air Force respectively and it has done them much good. Plus they paid for my brother's college tuition.

This is the litmus test for your bf to see what kind of substance he is made out of. Aside from medical conditions, you have to be pretty darn lazy and ineffectual to get discharged from bootcamp given the strict conditions.

You said he was assistant manager for McDonald's? I'm not sure what qualifications are necessary, but the fact that he's moved up may indicate that he has some leadership skill. Maybe he's just not interested in leading a team of burger flippers. I know a friend who's a Captain in the Marines and he supervised his own Unit. Perhaps your bf needs more of a challenge.