Shyness - And How It Ruins My Social And Love Life :(

[Guest bbyxwinnie]

t__t ughh im like you in school sometimes it drives me crazy and people say i have like no expression or something TOT. but when im outside of school surprisingly i'm pretty loud even to strangers. my bestfriends are loud in and out of school so i'm always like the mute girl ;o i actually got mistaken for being mute in 6th grade and whenever i say even ONE word in class everyone would gasp. and i mean it literally. i dont know what advice to give ;o i'll just lurk around this thread for now and pick up some tips hahas

[Guest ShadowMax76]

didn't read the other replies.

but simply put

_ make new friends to be comfortable around. [don't just pick people and say they're your friends, test the waters and pick who you trust ]

_don't think about whether or not you should talk to someone, just say "hi/good morning" before you start thinking of excuses not to. . and go from there. people talking to each other don't know what they're going to say, they just go with the flow.

_ i wouldn't advise pretending to be someone you're not. but optimism IS a must. think of 'not being shy' as just 'opening up'.

_ start talking to the mirror. it's fun. -nods-

[apparition]

i like some of the suggestions in this thread.

ill just bring up again that when you turn of working age, you should get a job involving social-interactions, one that will force you to push yourself into those social situations. maybe something like a waitress, or anything in retail.

[Guest CuTiE10o4]

The only thing you can do is to rewire your entire mindset for people in general. Don't distinguish between new and old friends and strangers. Learn to be comfortable with people in general and you'll reduce your chances of freezing up when the next guy comes along.

Just remember that if he doesn't get the idea that you're responding positively, any guy will think you're not interested and will move on. You're only 15, though. You've got years to make things different.

this is the second time since i've quoted what nerdy had to say...but i really liked it...You have to learn to be comfortable with people. I "broke out of my shell" i guess you could say in 7th grade...i'm older now...haha...way...older.. but my point is, i had to do exactly what nerdy said...change my mindset for people. I had to learn to be comfortable with people. But I can still get shy and nervous around a guy that I like. Just be yourself and be willing to open up to new relationships. Just take time and try to get to know people around you. You'll realize that other people have just of a hard time trying to get to know people too. It's all about taking the initiative. It's okay to be shy, but don't think that it ruins your social and love life. You don't have to be loud and outgoing, but it's okay to open up and take your chances of getting to know people. Let's be honest, you're 15...you're young...the guys around you are young. You have so much ahead of you. Also, if the guy was really really into you, he'd make it a point to try to talk to you and not get a girlfriend just days later. Take one step at a time. Initiate, open up, be willing, and have fun!

[Guest xsarangxmex]

I've ALWAYS been super shy .... like since forever ....

Because of that I have tough times getting close to people .... and conversing with people unless i know them REALLY, REALLY well.

I hate being this way ... but i just can't relax unless i know the person really well

[Guest 0nekhmer]

haha it's okay, since the hot guy seemed to notice and want to get to know you, you probably wont have much trouble meeting friends or guys

if people are really interested in talking to you, they would keep doing so. just say random things and be yourself!

[Guest Raix]

I'm loud and obnoxious. But I'm so stupidly quiet with people I don't know. Like, in class. Most of the time I'll be really loud and annoying cause I know most of the people there and I dunno, i just talk. For some reason I'm comfortable in a school classroom environment. I was really shy in my tutoring classes x_x

But if you put me in a group of kids from that class that I don't usually talk to and I'll go really quiet and it gets awkward.

Ask people about homework, or tests. Best topic to start a conversation. I actually kinda...I dunno. With guys I like, I think I overdo it because I end up saying a LOT and being too loud instead of going really shy xDDD

Just remind yourself you're awesome. Seriously. Even if you don't feel confident. Get over it and think that you are. Take the risk and say something. I, unfortunately and up spouting rubbish people don't even understand but they forget the next day xDDD

[Guest KAITOU KID.]

grow a pair of balls, holy mini cooper.

iunno about you homie, but i prefer my girls without balls.

[Guest bb51]

i'm the loud and outgoing type and all i can say is "who gives a f what other people think", just talk to whoever is around u - anything you both can relate to, ask a question, make a comment, or even just smile and say hi. don't be afriad to make a fool of yourself, trust me... i do it all the time, it could actually make a person more interesting.... i know i would rather hang out with someone who isnt afraid of acting like an idiot, crack jokes or make random comments... it's alot more fun. if your friendly, people would wanna be friends with u, and chances are they're probably feeling shy on the inside aswell but just hiding behind fake confidence.

[Guest .:precious:.]

kay i have one thing to say, Dont worry about that guy he doesnt even know you and he made a conclusion...Like obviously your not gonna be all outgoing around him the first time you meet him esp if you know he likes you...and if he was serious he would take the time to get to know you and make you comfortable and help you open up to him. thats a real man so dont worry about that....anyways the best thing to do is to try and meet more people make more friends go out and chill and gain your confidence

some people say fake it till you amke it but I dunno how true that is...O___o or if it even applies here but w.e...lol

[Guest mrhungalung]

All my life (Im 15 now) I've been so shy that some people thought that I was mute

Its been a few weeks since school started and I havent made any new friends. Im the girl that just sits their saying nothing and laughs/smiles when someone cracks a joke. My lab partner told me that his friend (cute) who's also in my class likes me... and I was just like 'no he doesnt' and later that guy comes up to me and starts talking to me and im just like so quiet and awkward so he left =_= for the next few days he tried to get my attention and i was too shy so i ignored it So the hot guy found himself a gf - thats not shy and seems like a fun girl.

Im actually really loud and fun around my old friends but im always so boring and non-social around new people and esp. guys :/

How do I break out of this 'shyness' and gain more confidence, so that I can make more friends and stop being a shy-quiet-awkward girl around guys?

me too i get nervous and sweaty and studder thats y i never had a gf b4 :blush:

[Guest randykiyoshi]

Haha I'm in the same situation.. or was. But all you do is just maybe say a sentence the first day, and the next day say a bit more. Eventually you'll open up more and it'll be natural. I met a new guy a few days ago and we talk to each other alot now. I also could now easily talk to the girl I had a crush on.. ^^'

[Guest ILuVTiTTiEZ]

Go buy yourself a pair of Hott High Heels!

And learn to walk in them. They'll teach you to stand up tall and to hold your head up high. (Or else you're gonna fall over) Learn to strut your stuff, and let me tell you, nothing will boost your confidence like showing up somewhere in hott high heels, lip gloss, and a smile! So hott!

And of course, be yourself! Just in a pair of Hott High Heels! =D

[Guest cheerydumdum]

i'm kinda like that too, but i've sorta grown out of it...just a bit. haha. i think you just need practice. turn to whoever sits next to you and ask them random things like "oh, did we have to do this for hw? how do you do this blah blah blah" or you could just say hi. lol. it's a pretty awkward and tough thing to do, but like i said earlier, you just need practice. i used to be the average girl who nobody knows, but now at least some people know me as a weird, friendly person because i flashed them a fake smile (i was scared. cant blame me for that) and started talking about random things. haha.

[Guest anjuu62]

Join clubs/activites that help you interact with more people. I did Cadets & the leadership opportunities etc. helped me boost my confidence & be less shy. But that was grade 6 LOL

[Guest Lovin' you]

hahah u remind me of yourself. i'm was shy and quiet even with guys around. i was super quiet in elementary because i didnt talk at all.

you will have to break out of your shyness one way or another. be more socialize. try joining a club and meeting new friends. thats what i did lsat year and i'm not so shy to make new friends.

[Guest Villian]

well from my past experience

most shy, quiet girls turn out quite slutty as they get older

maybe its because they got laid

i dont know, but im pretty sure thats the explanation

Dont take me wrong, im not saying you should go out and get laid or anything

Just know who you are as a person, be true to yourself and people can hate it or love it

[Guest roarix]

I have the exact same problem.... It truly does suck, but I guess people like us will eventually get enough cajones?

[Guest TammyHoang]

iunno about you homie, but i prefer my girls without balls.

HAHAH.

If you don't want to be shy, then speak up and say something.

Start by talking to people around you, compliment them. People

love compliments (; then just start off from there. Listen to their

conversations and say something that comes to your mind.

Lol, be random! Join clubs, take part in activities. yupp.

[Guest Strawberii]

haha

im like you

im really shy too

pinch yourself while talking to that person

it works.

well, it does for me

try it

haha, i'll definitly try that tomorrow and see how it works out lol.

but i have a feeling i'll probably scream in pain instead of starting a convo xD

I have a very similar problem to yours,

what i suggest is what what i'm attempting to do myself;

Just start off with a smile and if you lock eyes with the person

for more than 3 secs ask them a question that takes more than a yes/no to answer.

This will lead to another question and ultimatly a pretty great conversation.