Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[Guest cheerydumdum]

sooo i have a random question for you guys who are more experienced than i am at dating. you know how in movies and tv shows people kiss on the first date or very soon after meeting each other? does that first kiss usually happen so early in real life? just curious.

[Guest likelovers]

sooo i have a random question for you guys who are more experienced than i am at dating. you know how in movies and tv shows people kiss on the first date or very soon after meeting each other? does that first kiss usually happen so early in real life? just curious.

As with everything else in life, it depends on the situation and the people.

[Nikky]

sooo i have a random question for you guys who are more experienced than i am at dating. you know how in movies and tv shows people kiss on the first date or very soon after meeting each other? does that first kiss usually happen so early in real life? just curious.

It also depends on the guy. If you're dating a man who is going off of your 'signs', they can tell if you're into them and if a kiss would be all right. If you're just not feeling him, it can be pretty damn obvious. There might be the 'obligated good manners' kiss on the cheek. But if you're feelin' him, he'll make plans to see you again regardless.

It really depends on how the feeling is between you two. He might be able to tell if you're shy and need to go slow, so he might offer a kiss on the cheek or on the hand. But if you're not shy, he might try for a kiss. Just remember that a kiss is suppose to be half and half. He moves in half way, you meet him in the middle. If he tries to dive in; don't see the guy again. But if he goes off your signals and knows to wait for that kiss, or to give it a go at the end of a date, then he's a good one.

Don't think that a tender kiss makes you an 'undesirable'. You don't have to suck his face off. Just one soft kiss is fine, if you're all right enough to do so. If you need more time, a good man will respect that and wait to move at your pace. So don't feel that it's expected, it depends on the two people, on the feeling of that night, of the feeling between you two.

[AiriinxKumori]

Is 26 still considered not appropriate to sleep over at your bf's house? my bf's older brother's gf occasionally sleeps over every other weekend. My mother considers it skanky and inappropriate at that age whether or not the parents care or not. Basically doesn't believe in the concept of sleeping over or living together before marriage. Is it culture and values or...?

[Guest Javus]

Is 26 still considered not appropriate to sleep over at your bf's house? my bf's older brother's gf occasionally sleeps over every other weekend. My mother considers it skanky and inappropriate at that age whether or not the parents care or not. Basically doesn't believe in the concept of sleeping over or living together before marriage. Is it culture and values or...?

I know I'm not a girl, but here's my opinion anyway.

It's probably not the age, but the fact that your mom believes that girls shouldn't be sleeping over at a guy's house unless they're married maybe.

[wengfrecrixs]

there is some girls i know in facebook , skype ,or some online community if a girl did not reply you mean they don't wanna  or not interested to talk to you ?

[Guest icecream_x3]

there is some girls i know in facebook , skype ,or some online community if a girl did not reply you mean they don't wanna  or not interested to talk to you ?

In majority of the cases wen girls don't respond, they're just not interested or they don't want to. Case 3 & 4 would simply be that they're busy, or just don't know how to respond to you. 

[AiriinxKumori]

Is one year considered long enough to get over an insecurity? That it should take a year for a person to get over something they are insecure about?

[Nikky]

Is one year considered long enough to get over an insecurity? That it should take a year for a person to get over something they are insecure about?

In all honesty, it depends on a whole heap of things that I'm not even going to try and list. But insecurities are mental based. It's the fear in the mind that controls the actions and or re-actions. It's not exactly easy to just switch up your mindset when that's how you've been living for years. Depending on how much the person faces it, how strong it is in their life and if they have someone helping them, encouraging them to go forward, then maybe a year would be enough. No two cases are exactly the same.

[MrPower]

How often do you think of your exs? With nostalgia? With relief? With resentment? maybe thankfulness

Happy thanksgiving!

[Guest hkukaudition]

How often do you think of your exs? With nostalgia? With relief? With resentment? maybe thankfulness

Happy thanksgiving!

I dont think of my exes that often.. just maybe once if they pop up on my FB or something. I think i would just think of it as.. 'ah that was nice whilst it lasted.. but im happier now' kinda thing.

One of my exes is still a really good frind of mine although we never think about our time together anymore because it just didnt work out because we were such good friends- it ended up being kinda like a brother sister kinda thing so just got weird. Lol.

[Guest cheerydumdum]

MrPower: i rarely think about my first ex (i've had two boyfriends). i no longer communicate with him. we had a ridiculously stupid relationship when i was in high school. i look back on it with regret and resentment for being too gullible and for making the mistake of letting him come between me and my friends. it's funny that you asked this question though because this ex just so happened to call me yesterday out of the blue. i rejected the call. hehe.

as for my second ex, i think about him from time to time. usually when i think of him, it's about how i wasn't a very good girlfriend and about how i never got to cuss him out for stringing me along after he lost his feelings for me. but sometimes i think of him because i haven't gotten together with anyone since we broke up (it's been over 2 years), so sometimes i really miss the feeling of having a boyfriend who does random cute things for me. i guess it's a mixture of nostalgia, shame and resentment. it's more shame than anything though.

[WistfulLove]

this may sound like a stupid question but is it normal for your lips to get wet and stuff while making out?

I've never kissed a guy before, let alone french kiss, until yesterday with my boyfriend... >___< 

I feel like a bad kisser LOL 

[Nikky]

this may sound like a stupid question but is it normal for your lips to get wet and stuff while making out?

I've never kissed a guy before, let alone french kiss, until yesterday with my boyfriend... >___< 

I feel like a bad kisser LOL 

Well congratulations on having your first kiss.

As for 'wet lips', I think to keep this rated PG I'll explain it like this. When kissing; you are both exchanging saliva, even when kissing on the cheek. Your lips are naturally moist, so whatever you kiss, your saliva is left behind on what you kissed. So when kissing/making out, both of your guys' saliva end up on both lips.

So no, you didn't do anything wrong.

As for being worried about being a bad kisser, it is 'practice makes perfect'. But also, being comfortable and your connection with the person you're kissing. When you are both into it, letting the other feel how you feel about them with each kiss, it feels amazing. Try to 'go with the flow', feel the rhythm that's set, how the person moves their head, if it's fast paced, slow, if a few kisses linger before going into a new one. Each person kisses differently, so it's just you two setting something in motion that you both enjoy. Don't be greedy, it's not only about you. You gotta make sure that they enjoy it as well. But in the mean time, enjoy getting that practice in!

[Guest emmabb]

I asked this in the Fellas thread but I thought I'd ask for some girls' advice too... : )

When the topic for your relationship status comes up, how do you bring it up? The guy I want to have this convo with isn't the most chatty person in the world - meaning I can just picture him giving me short, curt answers. In fact I can just imagine how the whole conversation will go since it'll most likely end within 15 seconds.

[Guest likelovers]

How often do you think of your exs? With nostalgia? With relief? With resentment? maybe thankfulness

Happy thanksgiving!

It depends on how it ended between us.  The first two ended well so I don't think about them much or harbor any bad feelings.  The first one I do still think about it from time to time when I have relationships problems because it was innocent and almost my ideal relationship.

This last one I "think" about a lot because he's caused a lot of drama for me.  So it's not that think about him cos I still care about what we had, it's just that he has kind of pushed himself into my current life.

But despite any negative feelings I have towards my exes, I'm still pretty thankful for each one because each of them has taught me one valuable lesson that helps me for the future.  Practice makes perfect? haha

I asked this in the Fellas thread but I thought I'd ask for some girls' advice too... : )

When the topic for your relationship status comes up, how do you bring it up? The guy I want to have this convo with isn't the most chatty person in the world - meaning I can just picture him giving me short, curt answers. In fact I can just imagine how the whole conversation will go since it'll most likely end within 15 seconds.

I'm having trouble with this, too, but I plan on just bringing it up one day when we're hanging out.  Not sure how, but I think I might just bluntly ask to talk about it.

Are short, curt answers bad?  If they answer your question to the point, does it matter how many words he uses?  But if he gives short replies that don't answer the question, then you'll just have to persist until he gives you a satisfactory response.

If you don't think you and he can communicate well about your relationship (whatever it may be right now), you might have a problem for the future... Because eventually, all couples will have a fight and if you guys can't verbally resolve the issue, it might get worse /:

[Nikky]

I asked this in the Fellas thread but I thought I'd ask for some girls' advice too... : )

When the topic for your relationship status comes up, how do you bring it up? The guy I want to have this convo with isn't the most chatty person in the world - meaning I can just picture him giving me short, curt answers. In fact I can just imagine how the whole conversation will go since it'll most likely end within 15 seconds.

I'm not 100% positive I understand your question. I think you're asking how to ask the guy you are 'with' about your relationship status. If I'm on the right track; blunt honesty is the best route to take. Get his full attention; TV off, radio off, book down, video game controller on the table, face to face, looking each other in the eyes; and just be open and honest. If he 'avoids' your question. Nip him in the butt hard the first time he tries. Tell him to be honest with you and not avoid the question.

As sad as this is, the best way to get a guy to talk is to challenge his masculinity. If he avoids the question there is the option of going the route of "Will you just answer my question honestly like a man and stop playing games like a child?" Yes, it is a bit hurtful and mean. But it does get a guy talking, and he gets the HINT that you two are going to talk whether or not he likes it.

Truth is, for any relationship to work, you both have to be on the same page. So talking is something that has to happen, even if you're uncomfortable with the topic. It's not like you're asking to talk about the two of you 24/7. You just want some clarification. There is no harm or bad in that. Men eventually learn that women like to 'check up' on how the relationship is. It's how you know what you two are doing well in, and what needs a bit more work. It's also a chance to be open about something one of you have been wanting to talk about.

[MrPower]

Ladies, what types of hints do you pick up on if a guy isn't interested in you?

Maybe what I'm trying to ask is this: if a guy wasn't interested in you, how would you like him to let you know?

[orangekiss]

Ladies, what types of hints do you pick up on if a guy isn't interested in you?

Maybe what I'm trying to ask is this: if a guy wasn't interested in you, how would you like him to let you know?

Hmm for me, I usually get the hints if I suggest one-on-one hang outs and he declines, or if he doesn't initiate or keep the conversation going with text messages.

So in essence, I prefer that he shows me his disinterest with his actions not words, but every girl is different.

[Guest cheerydumdum]

MrPower, i agree with orangekiss. another thing that would get the point across is if the guy talked to me about someone he is interested in (who is clearly not me). it's more heartbreaking, but it certainly clears things up when a girl can't really figure out how a guy feels towards her or when she can't take or refuses to take those one-worded-answer/declining-to-hang-out hints.