Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[AiriinxKumori]

i hope its ok to ask this here.

Is it growing apart if your best friend doesn't talk to you, keep in touch with your or there for you anymore?

I tried to make conversations but there's never replies and its only once in awhile I'll hear from her.

Should I move on and make more friends or wait for a person who doesn't seem to put much effort in return?

She says that I'm in her thoughts but I'm not sure. I dunno I feel like a bad friend that I want to move on because

she's not there for me as much anymore but she has in the past. That I should keep trying even if the contact is fading

away.

[pervert]

Thank you pervert.

I was talking to him yesterday through text and I found out that he was sitting in his car texting me.... but I didn't reply straight away though. So it was weird to me because work finished at 8 and he went home like 2 hrs later..

Is there a line that shouldn't be crossed....?

Probably. Even if you were interested in dating him, it wouldn't be a good idea to date someone you work with because if it doesn't work out, you'll still have to see him at work and interact with him now and then and it would create a tense work environment for you both. If he invites you out to do something 1-on-1 again and you're not interested in dating him, you should draw that line yourself and make it clear that you only wish to be friends.

i hope its ok to ask this here.

Is it growing apart if your best friend doesn't talk to you, keep in touch with your or there for you anymore?

I tried to make conversations but there's never replies and its only once in awhile I'll hear from her.

Should I move on and make more friends or wait for a person who doesn't seem to put much effort in return?

She says that I'm in her thoughts but I'm not sure. I dunno I feel like a bad friend that I want to move on because

she's not there for me as much anymore but she has in the past. That I should keep trying even if the contact is fading

away.

It never hurts to make more friends. You don't have to feel bad about moving on because it seems like your best friend is already moving on herself. She says you're in her thoughts, but sometimes talk is cheap. If she's not making an effort to maintain your friendship by at least keeping in touch, then obviously you're not really "in her thoughts." You also, however, should not expect any one person to always be "there for you" because after high school, people's priorities change. Your friendship just isn't a priority to her anymore. It happens. Hopefully, you can make friends who'll value you more.

[Guest azurekaryu]

Im usually a lurker.. But I guess it's time xD

Anyways, hope you ladies could give me some insight

So basically, I have known this girl for about 8 years, and we became really close friends when we were young, untill she had to move countries. She came back about 4 years ago, and I wasn't really that close with her anymore, due to the fact that I stopped hanging out with her ( we used to live about a few house down, really close neighbours, she would always come to my house and ask to play/hang out and such, but since ive grown up, I usually just like stay home and do nothing at all or just hang out at malls and such). When she came back, I thought nothing of it, and I also thought she liked me.. Haha, she would always initiate conversations, she would always keep eye contact, and if one of my friends wanted to say something to her, and she somehow wouldn't hear my friends calling, my friends would make me call her, since everytime I call her over, she would respond anytime.

Fast forward another year, we became more distant, because I barely even talked to her, and this time, I started to develop feelings for her, and I would always tease her because I thought she liked my friend. We started car pooling, which was extremely awkward for me, because I never barely said anything, im usually the quiet and shy type...

So fast forward to this year, I carpooled with her for 2 years, until she had to move to another part of the city, we still go to the same school. Early on the year, I started talking to her, trying my best to initiate conversations and such, and usually I would break eye contact. She also got a phone, and we started txting.

After a few months, I decided I would confess, and I did, it was awkward when I confessed, but I felt relieved, when I confessed, she did not reject nor accept me, her response was basically, asking me how long I liked her, and she said I didn't make it awkward and that it was cool.

So basically my question is, does she like me?

Also I hope this would automatically merge with my previous post, or a mod can just merge this post. I can't seem to edit my post on this phone.

Also, we have gotten closer after I did confess, she usually asks about me when she talks to a mutual friend of ours, I just don't understand why she didn't say if she liked me or if she didn't when I confessed to her.

Any insight is welcome!

[Guest antz3]

Girls...need your help with this.

During New Year's Eve, I met a girl through our mutual friends. I was attracted to her and caught her staring at me couple times during meals (this meeting lasted over 8 hours from dinner to fireworks to early breakfast).  I didn't say much that night so I just listened to them talking and gave my input whenever I can. During breakfast after the countdown, we sat across from each other and I caught her staring again and I found her attempting to play footsie with me. I thought of asking her number on the way home, but since our friends were there, so I resisted. 

Later that day, our mutual friend tagged both of us in a video, so I facebook friend her and message her if she wants to go have dinner with me the coming Sunday, which she accepted. The dinner was alright, I was a bit shy but got around of myself and was able to have conversations with her throughout the dinner and she did laughed quite few times. In the beginning of the dinner, i was nervous and thus created some awkward moments with her, but whenever I look up, she would just smiles.

Drove her home after dinner, and she said "see you next time" when she got off the car. Then 30 minutes later she text messages me. I took the courage and asked her out for a second date. To which she replied with a messaging saying that she will be busy and needs to check her schedule. The following Wednesday I text her and asking her if she wants to hang out again and got myself a second date with her. 

Second date was consisted of a movie and a dinner afterwards. My 'performance' of that night was much better than the first date. I was really comfortable around her and we had a good time. I was able to show her my good sense of humor and she laughed/smiled quite a bit during the dinner. But one thing I couldn't figure out is that she seems like a talkative person (based on the night when I met her), but she was not really talkative during our dinners. What's wrong here? 

We exchanged text messages after the date, and I asked if I could "bother her again sometimes this week,' to which she replied "sure." (She's working full time, and I'm in the midst of job searching).

Then the next day, I text her to see if she's free by any chance this or next Wednesday. I thought of going to Dave and Buster's with her since they have half price games  Wednesdays. But she told me that she will be busy this month due to work and will text me when she does find free time. Which I'm a bit confused, because we seem to hit off well during the second date, and her text messages suggest otherwise.

Am I doing something wrong here? Moving too fast and not giving her enough space? Or is she just not interested in me? 

[Guest hishari]

Girls...need your help with this.

During New Year's Eve, I met a girl through our mutual friends. I was attracted to her and caught her staring at me couple times during meals (this meeting lasted over 8 hours from dinner to fireworks to early breakfast).  I didn't say much that night so I just listened to them talking and gave my input whenever I can. During breakfast after the countdown, we sat across from each other and I caught her staring again and I found her attempting to play footsie with me. I thought of asking her number on the way home, but since our friends were there, so I resisted. 

Later that day, our mutual friend tagged both of us in a video, so I facebook friend her and message her if she wants to go have dinner with me the coming Sunday, which she accepted. The dinner was alright, I was a bit shy but got around of myself and was able to have conversations with her throughout the dinner and she did laughed quite few times. In the beginning of the dinner, i was nervous and thus created some awkward moments with her, but whenever I look up, she would just smiles.

Drove her home after dinner, and she said "see you next time" when she got off the car. Then 30 minutes later she text messages me. I took the courage and asked her out for a second date. To which she replied with a messaging saying that she will be busy and needs to check her schedule. The following Wednesday I text her and asking her if she wants to hang out again and got myself a second date with her. 

Second date was consisted of a movie and a dinner afterwards. My 'performance' of that night was much better than the first date. I was really comfortable around her and we had a good time. I was able to show her my good sense of humor and she laughed/smiled quite a bit during the dinner. But one thing I couldn't figure out is that she seems like a talkative person (based on the night when I met her), but she was not really talkative during our dinners. What's wrong here? 

We exchanged text messages after the date, and I asked if I could "bother her again sometimes this week,' to which she replied "sure." (She's working full time, and I'm in the midst of job searching).

Then the next day, I text her to see if she's free by any chance this or next Wednesday. I thought of going to Dave and Buster's with her since they have half price games  Wednesdays. But she told me that she will be busy this month due to work and will text me when she does find free time. Which I'm a bit confused, because we seem to hit off well during the second date, and her text messages suggest otherwise.

Am I doing something wrong here? Moving too fast and not giving her enough space? Or is she just not interested in me? 

I think you're freaking out a bit too early on. Just give her a bit of space. Maybe she does have work, maybe she's blowing you off (but I am leaning towards the former).

[Guest Cloud Expert]

Girls...need your help with this.

During New Year's Eve, I met a girl through our mutual friends. I was attracted to her and caught her staring at me couple times during meals (this meeting lasted over 8 hours from dinner to fireworks to early breakfast).  I didn't say much that night so I just listened to them talking and gave my input whenever I can. During breakfast after the countdown, we sat across from each other and I caught her staring again and I found her attempting to play footsie with me. I thought of asking her number on the way home, but since our friends were there, so I resisted. 

Later that day, our mutual friend tagged both of us in a video, so I facebook friend her and message her if she wants to go have dinner with me the coming Sunday, which she accepted. The dinner was alright, I was a bit shy but got around of myself and was able to have conversations with her throughout the dinner and she did laughed quite few times. In the beginning of the dinner, i was nervous and thus created some awkward moments with her, but whenever I look up, she would just smiles.

Drove her home after dinner, and she said "see you next time" when she got off the car. Then 30 minutes later she text messages me. I took the courage and asked her out for a second date. To which she replied with a messaging saying that she will be busy and needs to check her schedule. The following Wednesday I text her and asking her if she wants to hang out again and got myself a second date with her. 

Second date was consisted of a movie and a dinner afterwards. My 'performance' of that night was much better than the first date. I was really comfortable around her and we had a good time. I was able to show her my good sense of humor and she laughed/smiled quite a bit during the dinner. But one thing I couldn't figure out is that she seems like a talkative person (based on the night when I met her), but she was not really talkative during our dinners. What's wrong here? 

We exchanged text messages after the date, and I asked if I could "bother her again sometimes this week,' to which she replied "sure." (She's working full time, and I'm in the midst of job searching).

Then the next day, I text her to see if she's free by any chance this or next Wednesday. I thought of going to Dave and Buster's with her since they have half price games  Wednesdays. But she told me that she will be busy this month due to work and will text me when she does find free time. Which I'm a bit confused, because we seem to hit off well during the second date, and her text messages suggest otherwise.

Am I doing something wrong here? Moving too fast and not giving her enough space? Or is she just not interested in me? 

I think you're worrying too much but that's pretty normal seeing as you like her. If she says she's busy this month then don't bother her again about a date until a few days after the month is over. You don't want to come off as too clingy or needy. Don't lose contact with her though! Get to know each other a bit more maybe over the net seeing as you still don't know each other very well yet. If she brushes you off over say..fb or msn then you may have a problem :S Don't worry I have a feeling she is interested in you so don't give up, be optimistic! Over thinking will just make you stressed out and even more nervous around her. Good luck!

[Managal]

Im usually a lurker.. But I guess it's time xD

Anyways, hope you ladies could give me some insight *quoted image*

So basically, I have known this girl for about 8 years, and we became really close friends when we were young, untill she had to move countries. She came back about 4 years ago, and I wasn't really that close with her anymore, due to the fact that I stopped hanging out with her ( we used to live about a few house down, really close neighbours, she would always come to my house and ask to play/hang out and such, but since ive grown up, I usually just like stay home and do nothing at all or just hang out at malls and such). When she came back, I thought nothing of it, and I also thought she liked me.. Haha, she would always initiate conversations, she would always keep eye contact, and if one of my friends wanted to say something to her, and she somehow wouldn't hear my friends calling, my friends would make me call her, since everytime I call her over, she would respond anytime.

Fast forward another year, we became more distant, because I barely even talked to her, and this time, I started to develop feelings for her, and I would always tease her because I thought she liked my friend. We started car pooling, which was extremely awkward for me, because I never barely said anything, im usually the quiet and shy type...

So fast forward to this year, I carpooled with her for 2 years, until she had to move to another part of the city, we still go to the same school. Early on the year, I started talking to her, trying my best to initiate conversations and such, and usually I would break eye contact. She also got a phone, and we started txting.

After a few months, I decided I would confess, and I did, it was awkward when I confessed, but I felt relieved, when I confessed, she did not reject nor accept me, her response was basically, asking me how long I liked her, and she said I didn't make it awkward and that it was cool.

So basically my question is, does she like me?

Also I hope this would automatically merge with my previous post, or a mod can just merge this post. I can't seem to edit my post on this phone.

Also, we have gotten closer after I did confess, she usually asks about me when she talks to a mutual friend of ours, I just don't understand why she didn't say if she liked me or if she didn't when I confessed to her.

Any insight is welcome!

Typical childhood friend syndrome.

Since you're a person she's known for a LONG time, she might feel awkward and not know how to deal with your confession. However, since she's not confessing back to you that she likes you, it probably means she doesn't feel the same way about you. She might not want to hurt your feelings.

[Guest azurekaryu]

Ok thanks, it's just really awkward since after I did confess, we have gotten closer, and she has started initiating convos and such.

[Guest antz3]

I think you're freaking out a bit too early on. Just give her a bit of space. Maybe she does have work, maybe she's blowing you off (but I am leaning towards the former).

I think you're worrying too much but that's pretty normal seeing as you like her. If she says she's busy this month then don't bother her again about a date until a few days after the month is over. You don't want to come off as too clingy or needy. Don't lose contact with her though! Get to know each other a bit more maybe over the net seeing as you still don't know each other very well yet. If she brushes you off over say..fb or msn then you may have a problem :S Don't worry I have a feeling she is interested in you so don't give up, be optimistic! Over thinking will just make you stressed out and even more nervous around her. Good luck! 

Thank you for your help and kind words. I will keep them in mind and not worry so much.

[Guest Marissa]

Just out of curiosity. (girl and/or guy opinion is OK!)

If you have a boyfriend that dated a girl *now ex* (before going out with you after 1-1.5 years that they broke up) and one day you and your boyfriend bumped into her will you...

1. Let them chat (you let him chat with her or he wants to chat with her) (either or, will you stay with him throughout the conversation or would you volunteer to walk away for them to have a chat)

2. Pull him away

3. Just stay quiet and pretend nothing happened and just wait to see what happens.

Story behind this, girl broke up with guy because he lacks money, not motivated and/or no time..etc

[Guest underthewings]

Just out of curiosity. (girl and/or guy opinion is OK!)

If you have a boyfriend that dated a girl *now ex* (before going out with you after 1-1.5 years that they broke up) and one day you and your boyfriend bumped into her will you...

1. Let them chat (you let him chat with her or he wants to chat with her) (either or, will you stay with him throughout the conversation or would you volunteer to walk away for them to have a chat)

2. Pull him away

3. Just stay quiet and pretend nothing happened and just wait to see what happens.

Story behind this, girl broke up with guy because he lacks money, not motivated and/or no time..etc

If she comes up to chat, I'll let them chat and I'd stay with him throughout the conversation. If I see any opening in the conversation that allows me to speak up, I would talk too, otherwise I'd smile and be friendly towards her like my usual self. 

I have no reason to be jealous and chatting is harmless. He's with me. Her loss, my gain. 

[Guest bubblelicious_]

Thank you pervert again.

[Guest fkonmai]

How do I deal with a girl who just wants to be in "love"?  I don't think this girl likes me for me but rather just likes the notion of being in love or in a romantic relationship with someone esp. with Vday coming up.

I think she's cool though otherwise.

[Guest Naked-Fanatic]

There's a woman at the info desk who used to glare at me everytime I walked by her. After seeing her several times, she started to look away everytime she saw me enter the building. Then I walked by her in the garage. It wasn't a planned meeting. She looked very surprised and a little scared when she saw me. I just walked on. The next day, she started to wear makeup and make short glances at me. This time she didn't look hostile or scared. We met face to face last week when the elevator door opened. She stopped and looked at me in a friendly way for about a second, but she walked on. What was she thinking during all those times? I need to know because I work in that building and I have to pass by her often. I'm really interested in her because she is quite tall and attractive.

[Guest sunye~]

How do I deal with a girl who just wants to be in "love"?  I don't think this girl likes me for me but rather just likes the notion of being in love or in a romantic relationship with someone esp. with Vday coming up.

I think she's cool though otherwise.

Before you try to pursue her, ask yourself whether or not she's the one you truly want to be in a romantic relationship with, or if you are just in love with the excitement from chasing a girl. If you want to chase after her, I think you should keep in mind and be prepared that there is a chance she will not realize that she is in love with the concept of love and may hurt you in the end. This is just my opinion, but if I were you, I would just stop the chase because some of my acquaintances like the girl you described had a hard time learning to love a person and care for them and so their relationships became stagnant. Even if they go into a relationship because they like the feeling of having an SO, there's no meaning if they can't commit to a relationship with someone who they're using as a tool for their satisfaction.

There's a woman at the info desk who used to glare at me everytime I walked by her. After seeing her several times, she started to look away everytime she saw me enter the building. Then I walked by her in the garage. It wasn't a planned meeting. She looked very surprised and a little scared when she saw me. I just walked on. The next day, she started to wear makeup and make short glances at me. This time she didn't look hostile or scared. We met face to face last week when the elevator door opened. She stopped and looked at me in a friendly way for about a second, but she walked on. What was she thinking during all those times? I need to know because I work in that building and I have to pass by her often. I'm really interested in her because she is quite tall and attractive.

It seems like she is interested in you. Maybe she didn't mean to glare at you? It could just be an intense... stare. I think she may just be incredibly shy (I tend to give off that kind of vibe when I'm near my crush because I'm shy). The fact that she gave you a friendly look and started wearing makeup made me think that she could be attracted to you, but I could be wrong, since I've only seen the situation from your point of view. Next time you see her, try to start a short conversation or simply greet her. I think you'll get a better idea of what she thinks of you depending on how she responds.

[AiriinxKumori]

Is it okay to feel very annoyed when your bf always wins at any game you play together?

[Guest happybubble]

Is it okay to feel very annoyed when your bf always wins at any game you play together?

Yes, if you're a competitive type of person.

[Guest Naked-Fanatic]

It seems like she is interested in you. Maybe she didn't mean to glare at you? It could just be an intense... stare. I think she may just be incredibly shy (I tend to give off that kind of vibe when I'm near my crush because I'm shy).  The fact that she gave you a friendly look and started wearing makeup made me think that she could be attracted to you, but I could be wrong, since I've only seen the situation from your point of view. Next time you see her, try to start a short conversation or simply greet her. I think you'll get a better idea of what she thinks of you depending on how she responds.

Thanks! I wish I asked earlier.

[Guest tzstriker324]

When a girl said she will text/call you later to let you know when she's free. But after a week later, she still haven't called or text,

I'm wondering why girls do that? And what would you advice the guy to do?

[Guest hishari]

When a girl said she will text/call you later to let you know when she's free. But after a week later, she still haven't called or text,

I'm wondering why girls do that? And what would you advice the guy to do?

Probably because she has more important priorities in her life and you're not one of them. Sad, but true.

Advice for you is to not do anything.