Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[Guest joie.de.vivre]

I think I know what may have turned her off, I was younger and dumber. It'd be nice to see what other people think went wrong, just for giggles.

I think the guys would have a field day with it, ha, but I think a woman's insight could be more accurate.

Interesting~

After reading the convo, I got the feeling that you were a little too flirty with her when she sounds like she was just being friendly in return.

[wengfrecrixs]

Preferably a guy who knows when to talk and when to talk less - someone who can read the atmosphere before talking I guess.

hmm , then when do  you think guy should talk and when do guy should talk less ? 

[Guest kurumii]

hmm , then when do  you think guy should talk and when do guy should talk less ? *quoted image*

you should talk when she seems interested and stop talking when she's bored or wants to talk. lol. I think a good ratio would be talking 37% of the time and listening for the rest. (this is when you're talking one on one with a girl. )

[wengfrecrixs]

Hmm ,Do all the girls only want to date handsome guy ? 

[Guest A_Star296]

Hmm ,Do all the girls only want to date handsome guy ? 

Not really, personality counts aswell. My ex wasn't handsome but he had an amazing personality which attracted me to him in the first place. 

Not all girls are shallow enough to only date a guy because he is handsome. Though you do get some like that.

[Guest A_Star296]

There's a guy I met at uni and I really like him. I mean, REALLY like him. I think he may like me too? Not sure. But the thing is he's a different religion to mine. I'm not a very religious person and neither is he but my family kind of is and I know they would never accept a guy who isn't the same religion as us. So now I really don't know what to do because I really like him but if we ever got together it probably wouldn't get too far. I don't like getting into relationships if I don't think we can go the whole way but I don't know what to do about him. Any advice?

[Guest nana544]

Edit: Nevermind!!!!! Deleted!

[Guest SNSDTHEBOYS]

I'm not sure if I should ask this or not, but I want some opinions.

So every time my sister is mad at me or any of my sisters, she always told us to go finger ourselves??? And yes, me and my sisters find this very offensive and disgusting when she says that to us. I mean, why is she so nasty and disgusting? Even when we told her that she is being nasty, she said she just doesn't care. But, OMG I am disgusted by her choice of words and also the fact that she is 30 years old and she say things like this....what the heck??? I'm just so appalled and ashamed and disgusted for her!!! And yes, she's a virgin...do you guys think she wants to have sex because she say that???? She's so stupid!!!!

as a girl that lives with a bunch of boys (brothers) they always yell at each other and say "go f**k yourself" not litterally but more like an insult, maybe it's something like that but a girl verison. Did you ever see your sister show any signs of lesbianism or try to touch you guys? if not then it's probably not. Just find her a date so she can get married!

[Guest zoopia]

I helped this girl with some class homework over the weekend awhile back, but now she's been ignoring me in class... She hasn't looked at me or talked to me since. I texted her a few days ago asking about a class assignment and she didnt' text back - I mean, if she didn't know she could've told me. During group work today, I was the writer for our group and she pretty much talked to everyone except me (and one person who never talks in our group)... And I think I heard her tell another member to tell me what to write down. What is this, I'm starting to think she used me.

Should I ask about it?

Considering I was attracted to her before this & its the first time someone is doing this to me after working together... So I'm bothered.

[Nikky]

I helped this girl with some class homework over the weekend awhile back, but now she's been ignoring me in class... She hasn't looked at me or talked to me since. I texted her a few days ago asking about a class assignment and she didnt' text back - I mean, if she didn't know she could've told me. During group work today, I was the writer for our group and she pretty much talked to everyone except me (and one person who never talks in our group)... And I think I heard her tell another member to tell me what to write down. What is this, I'm starting to think she used me.

Should I ask about it?

Considering I was attracted to her before this & its the first time someone is doing this to me after working together... So I'm bothered.

If she's playing the phone game and asking someone to tell you what to write down, then she's being childish and isn't talking to you for some reason. I'd say that if you truly find her worth the trouble, ask her if you've done something to offend her and try to get some truth from her. Good luck, though. Cuz by the sounds of it, she's pretty damn immature to be pulling the whole "I'm not talking to you" thing.

[Ninshark]

I need female opinions of my opinions:

How long is ideal to wait until asking out a girl?

I usually do 3 weeks.

I only tried this approach once, and she already had a boyfriend, but I think she would've said yes 'cause she was so happy.

I asked,"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

How good/bad is that?

[Guest Dew.]

I need female opinions of my opinions:

How long is ideal to wait until asking out a girl?

I usually do 3 weeks.

I only tried this approach once, and she already had a boyfriend, but I think she would've said yes 'cause she was so happy.

I asked,"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

How good/bad is that?

Waiting... as in, you meet a girl, wait three weeks and then ask? Honestly it's up to the girl and how well you connect. Some girls won't feel that comfortable with someone they've just met. Those are the girls you wait for. Others you can pretty much declare interest immediately. And don't wait too long or you'll lose out. If you mean you've shown interest and are just waiting for the right moment - well, that isn't measured in weeks.

As for your approach, I personally wouldn't mind. I'd be pretty happy, but I'm not a huge romantic and I like straightforward guys. Again, it depends on the girl. If she likes you, she'll be happy regardless your word choice as long as it's not offensive.

But if I had a boyfriend and you asked me that anyway, I'd be heading in the opposite direction pretty much immediately.

[Guest zoopia]

If she's playing the phone game and asking someone to tell you what to write down, then she's being childish and isn't talking to you for some reason. I'd say that if you truly find her worth the trouble, ask her if you've done something to offend her and try to get some truth from her. Good luck, though. Cuz by the sounds of it, she's pretty damn immature to be pulling the whole "I'm not talking to you" thing.

But the thing is, I'm sure I didn't do anything to offend her. When I helped her with the homework, that was the first time we hung out and had a decent amount of time talking. Or should I just tell you what happened?

Besides, after working together, I'd expect her to say hi or something. Wouldn't you?

Even if she wasn't interested in me or did just use me to help her, at least acknowledge me and talk to me.

[Guest touchofpink]

I need female opinions of my opinions:

How long is ideal to wait until asking out a girl?

I usually do 3 weeks.

I only tried this approach once, and she already had a boyfriend, but I think she would've said yes 'cause she was so happy.

I asked,"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

How good/bad is that?

How ideal? Well, in my opinion, I think it's better if a guy takes time to actually get to know the girl first. Develop good friendship and see how it goes from there. In my case, usually a few months. I'd like to know a guy well and fair enough before officially dating. I'm not one of those types who can easily jump in a relationship and THEN learn about him along the way...cuz what if his personality and everything else sucked? (Assuming that most relationships that start fast is due to physical attraction.)

I had this guy tell me once it was 'love at first sight' and went on how he thought about me every night. We had only met 3 times (group of friends) and rarely talked to each other...and like a month later he finds me online and eventually confessed like a week later. At first I was hmm, what's that word? ..I don't know, can't think of it (feeling where you're taking in a compliment or whatever) but then I just felt like...wait, we barely know each other and now he wants to date me? So I told him to wait it out and see how things go from there, cuz he might hate me and not know it yet or we just might not click. I guess he took it the wrong way and thought I really rejected him when all I wanted was some time to build a rapport...or friendship and know one another beforehand.

Anyways, long story short, after that he just started drifting on and off and playing mind games with me and eventually found another girl a year later that he ended up marrying. Lol.

[Guest ShinnOne]

But the thing is, I'm sure I didn't do anything to offend her. When I helped her with the homework, that was the first time we hung out and had a decent amount of time talking. Or should I just tell you what happened?

Besides, after working together, I'd expect her to say hi or something. Wouldn't you?

Even if she wasn't interested in me or did just use me to help her, at least acknowledge me and talk to me.

Bro I'm a dude, but I'm telling you get rid of that hoe.  She just wanted/used you to help her with her hw nothing else.  On to the next one.  gL.

[Nikky]

But the thing is, I'm sure I didn't do anything to offend her. When I helped her with the homework, that was the first time we hung out and had a decent amount of time talking. Or should I just tell you what happened?

Besides, after working together, I'd expect her to say hi or something. Wouldn't you?

Even if she wasn't interested in me or did just use me to help her, at least acknowledge me and talk to me.

If you are sure that you didn't do anything, and she's pulling this game, then she is acting very rude and isn't thinking of others at all. While I can't tell you if she 'used you' or perhaps she was interested in you but she found that she has no romantic feelings for you, or maybe she has some stuff going on now, the guessing game can go on. At this point, it's a pretty clear guess that she has no interest in dating you.

If you would like to continue speaking to her, you're going to have to be up front and direct. Say hello to her first, keep eye contact, even use her name "hello soandso". That way there is no denying that you are indeed speaking to her. If she refuses to acknowledge you or speak to you, then you have a definite answer of what kind of human being she is. But it seems like you are going to have to initiate the conversation with her if you wish to hold one with her.

And yes, if I studied with someone, I would greet them and start up some small chat.

I need female opinions of my opinions:

How long is ideal to wait until asking out a girl?

I usually do 3 weeks.

I only tried this approach once, and she already had a boyfriend, but I think she would've said yes 'cause she was so happy.

I asked,"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

How good/bad is that?

Sorry hun, but we do need more information. Under what circumstances are you asking about "waiting" to ask out a girl? Upon meeting? Upon realizing feelings? Did she just break up with a guy?

And I really don't understand why guys ask out girls who have boyfriends, but to be respectful, honorable, ethical, do not EVER ask out a girl if you know that she has a boyfriend. Wait until ALL her ties are cut from that relationship and then approach her.

If anyone will cheat on someone for whatever reason, there is no good excuse. It doesn't matter how 'bad' a relationship is, you first end the relationship, take some personal time to get over it, then get back in the waters. You know the old saying "If you do it once, you'll do it again"? Don't think that you're ever so special that her cheating on her guy for you is all right. If she'll leave her guy for you, she is essentially cheating because she's looking elsewhere while being with someone. She's setting up another relationship and then bailing on her own to start one with you. She'll do it again, honey. And I've seen it time and time again.

[Guest SlicedBread]

Interesting~

After reading the convo, I got the feeling that you were a little too flirty with her when she sounds like she was just being friendly in return.

Ah, thanks. I hadn't thought that was the main reason, but it's good to know.

[Guest woaini715]

i've got this painful crush on an older guy in one of my classes. i'm 18, he's 25 ish. i don't know why this hurts so much and i wasn't expecting it to be this painful. whenever the topic of him gets brought up or when i think about him, i cry.

maybe i'm lonely, or stressed because this is all so new to me (i've never had one of those little-girl-crushes on an older guy)

i'm not looking for people to tell me "ohh, it can work out, age aint nothing but a number". it's not like he's made a move on me, btw.

i just need help understanding why this hurts to much (i'm not even sure if i really like him. i'll admit i was really impressed with his looks, talent, persona)

[Guest kitty_N]

ninshark: It really depends on the situation. If she shows interest, I'd say ask her as soon as possible. Waiting will just make it seem as though you are not interested and she may well move on to another guy.

[sunnyworld]

i've got this painful crush on an older guy in one of my classes. i'm 18, he's 25 ish. i don't know why this hurts so much and i wasn't expecting it to be this painful. whenever the topic of him gets brought up or when i think about him, i cry.

maybe i'm lonely, or stressed because this is all so new to me (i've never had one of those little-girl-crushes on an older guy)

i'm not looking for people to tell me "ohh, it can work out, age aint nothing but a number". it's not like he's made a move on me, btw.

i just need help understanding why this hurts to much (i'm not even sure if i really like him. i'll admit i was really impressed with his looks, talent, persona)

The one thing I don't understand is why you cry whenever he's brought up.

You probably won't find this helpful, but if you are interested in him, go talk to him. Start by asking something about the class and slowly become friends. You're impressed with his looks and talent, but you haven't exactly friended him, right? Maybe that will help? I'm not sure. Maybe if you can tell us why it's so painful?