Ask The Fellas

[Guest Han_Hye_Ri]

Yeah, but you're still gonna have to talk to him, yeah? To set the record straight.

about the situation? awh, I'm too much of a chicken to do that...sorry to disappoint.

[Guest JinEnjuce]

Not about disappointing us, it's about bringing your friendship with this guy into harmony.

[E-Pac]

-Does it turn guys off when a girl talks about other pretty girls? (aka, female celebrities)

I really want to know, haha.

[MrPower]

First time here.

I've got 2 guys that say 'I love you' to me a fair bit & it makes me uncomfortable.

The First guy. We chat on msn a lot. He's admitted he's got feelings for me but I don't feel the same way about him so I generally ignore any love comments he makes towards me. Plus he's got a gf ! so I don't think he should be saying all that lovey-dovey stuff to me either. Should I just continue ignoring him or tell him outright? I don't want to ruin our friendship >o<

The second guy. He hasn't said anything about liking me more than a friend but he uses 'love you' a whole lot more than I expect from any friend. Even me & my girl friends don't say 'love you' to each other! Again I'm not interested. Just want to be friends. How do I deal with this?

They both sound like they're either players, desperate, and/or clueless about what "love" really means.

Guys are weird creatures, and you're in the right place for understanding our simple minds.

I think ignoring anyone will make them think more about you... which in turn could make them like you more (if they do in the first place)

Guy #1: sometimes all friendships aren't meant to work out... This guy obviously doesn't know what he wants, because he appears to be courting you while being in a relationship? (excuse me for being judgmental, but I find it sickening) Do not respond positively to his remarks. Make it clear to him that you don't feel comfortable with him saying those things to you.

Guy #2: Not as clear as the 1st guy. I presume that he's the shyer type? Don't say love ya back. in fact, shake it off and say something normal back. If he somehow manages to build up the courage to ask you out, then you could let him down gently.

I can't emphasize enough that you have to be firm when you do not want something to be said/done to you...

Sorry if that sounded mean... I think I'm being blunt tonight

yea I know. My oppas have asked me to call them that, but I see my self as more of a younger bro to them so i call the "hyung" , "hyung nim" etc. haha ok thank you Mr.power, you are very powerfull when it comes to answering. Fighting!~

Thank you guys! you are very helpful!!~

HAHAHA okay then

oh man... np?

edit: missed this quote that was posted before my response.

-Does it turn guys off when a girl talks about other pretty girls? (aka, female celebrities)

I really want to know, haha.

Forgive me because you're about to enter a cheese fest in my mind.

it depends on who.

If i really like a girl, then I generally don't talk about other girls around her. Nor will I really engage in talking about other "pretty girls"... It's not a turn off, but rather, if she says "ohhh she's so pretty blah blah", it makes me want to say "not even close to how beautiful you are".

(I'm so happy that none of my male friends have soompi. XD)

If it's just any other girl, then it's no biggie.

[Guest Han_Hye_Ri]

HAHAHA okay then

oh man... np?

Yea~

[Guest crappy22]

Oh gosh, sorry yeah it was confusing. Yes so BOY 1 graduated and I haven't seen him since and BOY 2 is the same age as I am.

Yes the guys in the first story are the same in the second story.

so clarifying my problem+question

i've known this guy since my freshman year but never talked to him until sophomore year summer when he randomly started making fun of me at my sat prep class and i was really surprised because we had a class together sophomore year where a teacher always said my name wrong but i didn't think he actually paid attention. when junior year started we had more classes together and i started to develop feelings for him as we talked,texted,hung out and such but his friend liked me. i couldn't bring myself to like the friend because the feelings i had developed for the guy just grew stronger as time passed. we were all good friends as the year went on but then one day the friend that liked me stopped talking to me and even when i tried in the beginning to smile or say hi i'd get ignored so i just stopped talking to him. i assumed that the guy i liked had told the friend who liked me that i was just playing with him and so i stopped talking to both boys. now the guy that i liked didn't bother asking ME why i stopped talking to him and it's senior year now. over the summer, it was nice because i didn't see him around anywhere and so i thought i was over him, but yknow the saying " out of sight, out of mind " well when senior year started he was in 2 of my classes and it was once again " in my sight, on my mind " : ( i want to be able to approach him and ask if we could be friends, but i don't know if i even matter to him or if he'll just ignore me, what should i do? should i just give up hope, trash my feelings, and somehow try to endure til graduation or talk to him?

hmm there doesn't seem like there's much of a fallout between you guys. from the story it seems that you guys don't hang in the same circle so if you stopped talking to the guy there would be no reason to keep in contact. just try talking to him again. Also his friend liked you and as that guys friend he's not gonna backstab him and go around hang with the girl his friend liked. So once you yourself cut ties with that guy by not talking to him he had no reason to talk to you anymore since it seems his job towards the end of your friendship was to be the bridge between you and the friend. that's what i think anyway.

-Does it turn guys off when a girl talks about other pretty girls? (aka, female celebrities)

I really want to know, haha.

no it won't turn off guys if you're talking about pretty women, but if you're talking about pretty/cute/hot guys in front of guys then yea that's irritating. if anything if you as a girl were to talk about a pretty celebrity it would be easy for the guy to relate as well because he would be thinking the same thing admiring the girl.

[snowytearz]

Tell them outright. I don't know where people get the idea that guys understand clues and hints. They don't.

They both sound like they're either players, desperate, and/or clueless about what "love" really means.

Guys are weird creatures, and you're in the right place for understanding our simple minds...

Just gonna cut your post shorter here~

Thanks for the advice MrPower ~ Didn't sound mean at all btw.

Yeah when the first guy told me he had gf & he liked me I was bit..'errr wtf'

Because guys don't normally say 'ily' to a female friend, do they?

See how I'll go with these two guys~

[sugarplum892]

ionno if its on a friend or a best friend forever level lol. If I'm cool with somebody (doesn't have to be a friend) I'll ask for advice.

ooo i see, thanks.

Yes. most of the time, guys won't talk about their girl problems with a girl that they like. That's a strange man. lol. giving you mixed signals. I need more context before i can really make a judgment... if he's not joking around, then he could be into you.

it's called lust.

to protect their pride. Most likely he had his heart broken, and wants to forget about it by not communicating with the girl. At least, that's my guess.

don't say sorry. it's why you're in this thread in the first place

yeah he is quite strange...

ooo, yuck. I see.

thanks.

[Guest kimicas17]

you're most welcome. I work my shifts alone, so it's my pleasure.

A guy doesn't go into a relationship wanting to get hurt... lol

There's a factor called "hope" that we have to take into consideration. Some guys love the thrill of the chase... in fact they live for it. Sometimes when they get the girl, they will lose all interest because that goal in their value system is reached, and they seek out another target.

For others, the challenge makes it all worthwhile at the end.

Then the desperate ones who will take whatever they can get...

Haha..thanks for clarifying that for me. It would have really sucked if i asked my guy friends that question. If i was forced to ask them there would have been a fight because i honestly dont like the type of girls they go after. Yeah i guess hope (that the girl would stop flirting with people for you) has something to do with it, though i personally would just end it all if the person didnt stop...Wait now i have another question..if desperate people just take whatever they can..then how would you ever know if that person really likes you or not? They could just be with you so they wouldnt be alone...

[Guest kcy]

that's quite the problem...

Unless you make an active effort to seek him out, I don't see anything really happening between you two D:

You know, there are plenty of other fine fishes in the sea...

Ahh thanks for the reply ^^

also, if a guy is interested in a girl, would he go on msn or facebook just to talk to her? Just wondering because I know a lot of girls do that.

[Guest xxstarstarxx]

Ohh i have another question,

If the guy like soccer, swimming or listen to music.

What should i get for their birthday?

[Guest cindy--rox]

I've been talking to this guy for a month now and we're always on MSN.

Sometimes he doesn't talk to me and I think I might be interested in him.

So would I seem clingy/eager if I start out our conversations the majority of the time?

And I'm kinda old school and I really don't wanna initiate the convo, is there a way to get him to do it?

[Guest Chocopie.]

OK I need help. ><. There's this guy I kinda like but I think he's annoyed of me or something.

He's two years older than me (11th Grade). At first I didn't know who he was at all. None of my friends knew him either. I just saw him in the hallways a lot and thought he looked interesting (LOL). So around late October after school I went up to him with my friends and told him that he was "cute". LOL he started smiling and said "Okay Thanks." and left with his friend. A few days after that I went to his locker and apologized if I scared him and he said it was okay. He took both of those events coolly instead of saying things like "I'm not interested" or something.

I added him on facebook and we talked on facebook chat. I talked to him a few times on facebook chat and I ended up getting his email.

I don't know what happened but I might of pissed him off for some reason because before I got his email I posted a message on his facebook wall saying "Hey there, I'm bored ><". He deleted it after a few days I added him on msn ><. After this happened I never saw him come online for a few days. It's weird because usually he would be online 24/7. I told my friend what happened and she checked the msn "who has you" and she found out that he didn't have me on his list. She said he probably deleted me. A week later I saw him come on msn again. My friend said that he probably delete me and forgot to block me. But I don't think this msn "who has you" thing is accurate, because it says another friend of mine doesn't have me on her list. I asked her and she said she did have me on her msn list.

He might of not deleted me on MSN, but I know for sure he deleted my facebook post to his wall. Only MINE was deleted but other people before that and after was still there ><.

Oh and when I talk to him on fb/msn I always have to talk to him first. Sometimes he would answer rudely. Like one time I asked him "When are exams? he answered with "Not for awhile." I asked him what was wrong and he replied "Nothing that concerns you". T___T Also it seems like I'm asking all the questions. I don't think he asked me one thing about myself ><.

So it seems he doesn't care if I talk to him or not.

Oh and another thing I don't say "Hi" to him when I see him EVER. I think its because I'm afraid that he won't say "Hi" back to me. This might be a reason why hes annoyed of me.

So do you guys think hes annoyed of me? And also would you be annoyed or mad If a girl talked to you online but was too shy to say Hi in person?

[x_MiSSANN]

Oh dear. Sweetheart, you're not moving on. If you feel as though he needs to make that decision for you, you're making yourself vulnerable again... don't do this to yourself. If you truly feel as though you want to move on, make that decision on your own, and don't talk to the guy until you feel like you can handle it.

Thanks. You're right. I shouldn't talk to him. Its so much easier not to talk to him.

[Guest x33chiinkiee]

so when a guy links arms with other females even though that guy is already taken... there really isn't a meaning to it right? haha

[Guest Mimi_182]

okay can i get some help ... begin this year let called him BA we beginning talking on face book and then he started to come see me in my first period class ... i mean we been known each other for like 4 but this year he started to come actually see me ..then not he can't see me anymore during first period so he walk me to my fourth black class .. we play around calling each other husband and wife .. ALL my friends think we going end up together and i keep denying them because i never dated ever nor kiss etc.. i told them i don't understand how feel to love and they keep saying I'm in denial .. i so confuse i keep feel like crying ... then today he didn't come see me in my first period (he have go to the clinic) so then i saw him walking our usually place to walk me to class but i was about ignore but i felt like pinkberry so i turn around to meet him .. then he walk me to class and he started to explain himself why he didn't come ..i look up and say BA you don't need explain yourself i understand .. then we hug me and all sudden HE KISS MY CHEEK i was too shock to say anything... does this mean something

? i scared

(sorri it long)

[Guest fredinsac]

Ohh i have another question,

If the guy like soccer, swimming or listen to music.

What should i get for their birthday?

He doesn't like to do anything else? It's too cold for swimming and I'm pretty sure he'll have all his soccer needs taken care of. What's his favorite band or whatever? Maybe you can get him a shirt with his favorite band on it or something. If nothing else works you can get him a gift card to a sporting goods store in case he ever needs soccer stuff or get something when swimming season rolls around in like 8 months..haha.

I've been talking to this guy for a month now and we're always on MSN.

Sometimes he doesn't talk to me and I think I might be interested in him.

So would I seem clingy/eager if I start out our conversations the majority of the time?

And I'm kinda old school and I really don't wanna initiate the convo, is there a way to get him to do it?

You wouldn't seem clingy if you started the convo all the time. You would seem clingy if you started asking him why doesn't he talk to you or why can't he talk to you only. There's no way to get him to do it. He has to want to do it.

OK I need help. ><. There's this guy I kinda like but I think he's annoyed of me or something.

He's two years older than me (11th Grade). At first I didn't know who he was at all. None of my friends knew him either. I just saw him in the hallways a lot and thought he looked interesting (LOL). So around late October after school I went up to him with my friends and told him that he was "cute". LOL he started smiling and said "Okay Thanks." and left with his friend. A few days after that I went to his locker and apologized if I scared him and he said it was okay. He took both of those events coolly instead of saying things like "I'm not interested" or something.

I added him on facebook and we talked on facebook chat. I talked to him a few times on facebook chat and I ended up getting his email.

I don't know what happened but I might of pissed him off for some reason because before I got his email I posted a message on his facebook wall saying "Hey there, I'm bored ><". He deleted it after a few days I added him on msn ><. After this happened I never saw him come online for a few days. It's weird because usually he would be online 24/7. I told my friend what happened and she checked the msn "who has you" and she found out that he didn't have me on his list. She said he probably deleted me. A week later I saw him come on msn again. My friend said that he probably delete me and forgot to block me. But I don't think this msn "who has you" thing is accurate, because it says another friend of mine doesn't have me on her list. I asked her and she said she did have me on her msn list.

He might of not deleted me on MSN, but I know for sure he deleted my facebook post to his wall. Only MINE was deleted but other people before that and after was still there ><.

Oh and when I talk to him on fb/msn I always have to talk to him first. Sometimes he would answer rudely. Like one time I asked him "When are exams? he answered with "Not for awhile." I asked him what was wrong and he replied "Nothing that concerns you". T___T Also it seems like I'm asking all the questions. I don't think he asked me one thing about myself ><.

So it seems he doesn't care if I talk to him or not.

Oh and another thing I don't say "Hi" to him when I see him EVER. I think its because I'm afraid that he won't say "Hi" back to me. This might be a reason why hes annoyed of me.

So do you guys think hes annoyed of me? And also would you be annoyed or mad If a girl talked to you online but was too shy to say Hi in person?

You might have weirded him out. I mean you are just some random chick from school. Also, do you know if he has a girlfriend or not? That could be an issue. To be honest I'd much rather start saying "hi" to him at school as opposed to just on facebook or msn. It's a much more genuine feel.

so when a guy links arms with other females even though that guy is already taken... there really isn't a meaning to it right? haha

Depends on the guy. Some guys are just friendly, some guys are gay, and some have alterior motives. The only way to really know is to ask him why he keeps doing it.

okay can i get some help ... begin this year let called him BA we beginning talking on face book and then he started to come see me in my first period class ... i mean we been known each other for like 4 but this year he started to come actually see me ..then not he can't see me anymore during first period so he walk me to my fourth black class .. we play around calling each other husband and wife .. ALL my friends think we going end up together and i keep denying them because i never dated ever nor kiss etc.. i told them i don't understand how feel to love and they keep saying I'm in denial .. i so confuse i keep feel like crying ... then today he didn't come see me in my first period (he have go to the clinic) so then i saw him walking our usually place to walk me to class but i was about ignore but i felt like pinkberry so i turn around to meet him .. then he walk me to class and he started to explain himself why he didn't come ..i look up and say BA you don't need explain yourself i understand .. then we hug me and all sudden HE KISS MY CHEEK i was too shock to say anything... does this mean something

? i scared

(sorri it long)

You're confused?? How do you think we feel trying to read this "English" or whatever you call it?

Haha..kidding.

And..yes, it means something. There's only 3 reasons why guys kiss girls on the cheek. You're family, a baby, or they want to kiss a girl but doing it on the lips might be awkward so they do it on a girls cheek to see how they react.

[Guest Chocopie.]

You might have weirded him out. I mean you are just some random chick from school. Also, do you know if he has a girlfriend or not? That could be an issue. To be honest I'd much rather start saying "hi" to him at school as opposed to just on facebook or msn. It's a much more genuine feel.

Okay thanks ^^. I'll say "hi" to him when i see him then. And he doesn't have a girlfriend.

[Guest Mimi_182]

Fredinsac

Oh I'm so sorry about my English lol thanks for replying

[Meezu]

I have this friend who has a girl who is trying to get with him. She wants something serious, whereas he just wants fun and fooling around, etc. She really wants him, and he's worried that if he tells her that he just wants to "chill" with her and take it slow, that she'll think too much of it and assume he likes her more than he does, etc. Already she does not know him and wants to introduce him to her family. He doesn't really like her, he just kind of likes her looks. He doesn't want to just forget about her, because he wants to try it out, but he's afraid she'll go too far. He's not sure what to do, and I'm not sure what to tell him.

What should he do fellas?