Ask The Fellas

[Guest iilysium]

now girls dont be offended if anyone calls you pretty ^^

How can we not when you guys say that "pretty" = neutral or a 5-6/10? I shall be offended every time now.

[Guest Necessary Evil1430292221]

Paragraphs next time please T_T
morelovee said: Hey guys I really need some male perspective on my situation. So l met this guy online, he gave me his #, I called him and we instantly hit it off, we talked for over 2 hours the first time. Right off the bat, he told me his past, went through a lot growing up, got into trouble & did time. I appreciated his honesty and was really happy he opened up to me so fast. He added he turned his life around which was really great. He instantly told me he liked me. I never shared that kind of chemistry with a guy before even my ex who I was with for over 1.5 year. So he asked me out, yada yada. So he picked me up, we went out. We stopped by a park to talk a stroll. He instantly liked me as he tried to grab my hand etc. We out to eat after, and we connected. After, he held my hand and tried to kiss me but I was so shy. We ended going to his place afterwards and made out and it lead to more (sex).  While we were kissing, he told me:I knew if I waited, I would find someone like you, my friends told  me I should go to clubs but I knew if I waited it would happen.  Anyways, we cuddled, watched a movie and shared stories together. I ended up staying at his place late because we talked a lot and hung out. I've dated other guys before and i knew they weren't serious about me because they would immediately send me home right after sex but we cuddled and shared great moments together. Anyways, he dropped me home and kissed me and held my hand not wanting to let me go. Since then, he has called me everyday after work etc, talking to me about his day.The following Friday he wanted to see me so he picked me up. That night, I told him about my past as well and he was really understanding as I was with his past. After that he showed me a piece of paper. I was stunnned to see it as it said he was divorced. He told me he was married a few years ago with his ex and for some reason, it didn't matter to me. I still liked him regardless. Anyways what did bug me was showing me his wedding video and it made me sick to my stomach. He dropped me home afterwards and told me he was upset because it made him think of her. That early morning (5am) he called me saying how the video made him really upset and he thought about doing stupid stuff and that I was the only one who he could call to talk about this with I was talking to him for 30 mins until he said I wanna see you. I said ok, come meet me and he picked me up. Long story short, we went to his house ended up talking a lot and did the deed again. What ruined everything was that his cousins and extended family were over and heard us getting it on and we ended up doing the walk of shame as i left. He was fine with it and mentioned how he wanted to meet my parents and family. He gave me a kiss goodbye and seemed happy until later that day, he called me saying his family had a long talk with him and said he wasn't ready to date and move on from his divorce. He said he agreed but does still like me  a lotand mentioned he wants to get professional help in dealing with his issues. We talked on the phone for 2.5 hours that day and he mentioend how he still wants to talk to me because he never met anyone he could share this as I mentioend to him I have sought professional help myself before and its changed my life. He said he's never met anyone like me he could talk to about his problems so fast. He said he really likes me and wants to keep in touch as he said I am a very nice girl and he's never met anyone like me. I told him, we could be friends but I'm willling to wait for him to get help and maybe in the future, we could be together as now his family doesn't think its right and he thinks he needs to tackle his issues and it wouldn't be right to hide me from his family. I told him I would wait for him even though he thinks it is not right and it makes him feel guilty. He said I could call him anytime if I needed him and I told him the same. Since then, he hasn't called me and its been 3 days since we talked and I actually cried for 2 days thinking about him. I can't stop thinking about him. I never felt like this with any guy I've met and I told him he's special. What should i do? Any suggestions or thoughts to add about my messy situation? Thanks for reading and sorry it was long

[raymondc27]

morelovee said: Hey guys I really need some male perspective on my situation. So l met this guy online, he gave me his #, I called him and we instantly hit it off, we talked for over 2 hours the first time. Right off the bat, he told me his past, went through a lot growing up, got into trouble & did time. I appreciated his honesty and was really happy he opened up to me so fast. He added he turned his life around which was really great. He instantly told me he liked me. I never shared that kind of chemistry with a guy before even my ex who I was with for over 1.5 year. So he asked me out, yada yada. So he picked me up, we went out. We stopped by a park to talk a stroll. He instantly liked me as he tried to grab my hand etc. We out to eat after, and we connected. After, he held my hand and tried to kiss me but I was so shy. We ended going to his place afterwards and made out and it lead to more (sex).  While we were kissing, he told me:I knew if I waited, I would find someone like you, my friends told  me I should go to clubs but I knew if I waited it would happen.  Anyways, we cuddled, watched a movie and shared stories together. I ended up staying at his place late because we talked a lot and hung out. I've dated other guys before and i knew they weren't serious about me because they would immediately send me home right after sex but we cuddled and shared great moments together. Anyways, he dropped me home and kissed me and held my hand not wanting to let me go. Since then, he has called me everyday after work etc, talking to me about his day.The following Friday he wanted to see me so he picked me up. That night, I told him about my past as well and he was really understanding as I was with his past. After that he showed me a piece of paper. I was stunnned to see it as it said he was divorced. He told me he was married a few years ago with his ex and for some reason, it didn't matter to me. I still liked him regardless. Anyways what did bug me was showing me his wedding video and it made me sick to my stomach. He dropped me home afterwards and told me he was upset because it made him think of her. That early morning (5am) he called me saying how the video made him really upset and he thought about doing stupid stuff and that I was the only one who he could call to talk about this with I was talking to him for 30 mins until he said I wanna see you. I said ok, come meet me and he picked me up. Long story short, we went to his house ended up talking a lot and did the deed again. What ruined everything was that his cousins and extended family were over and heard us getting it on and we ended up doing the walk of shame as i left. He was fine with it and mentioned how he wanted to meet my parents and family. He gave me a kiss goodbye and seemed happy until later that day, he called me saying his family had a long talk with him and said he wasn't ready to date and move on from his divorce. He said he agreed but does still like me  a lotand mentioned he wants to get professional help in dealing with his issues. We talked on the phone for 2.5 hours that day and he mentioend how he still wants to talk to me because he never met anyone he could share this as I mentioend to him I have sought professional help myself before and its changed my life. He said he's never met anyone like me he could talk to about his problems so fast. He said he really likes me and wants to keep in touch as he said I am a very nice girl and he's never met anyone like me. I told him, we could be friends but I'm willling to wait for him to get help and maybe in the future, we could be together as now his family doesn't think its right and he thinks he needs to tackle his issues and it wouldn't be right to hide me from his family. I told him I would wait for him even though he thinks it is not right and it makes him feel guilty. He said I could call him anytime if I needed him and I told him the same. Since then, he hasn't called me and its been 3 days since we talked and I actually cried for 2 days thinking about him. I can't stop thinking about him. I never felt like this with any guy I've met and I told him he's special. What should i do? Any suggestions or thoughts to add about my messy situation? Thanks for reading and sorry it was long

[Guest ikweli]

iilysium said:

ikweli

wrote:

»

now girls dont be offended if anyone calls you pretty ^^

[Guest]

morelovee said: Hey guys I really need some male perspective on my situation. So l met this guy online, he gave me his #, I called him and we instantly hit it off, we talked for over 2 hours the first time. Right off the bat, he told me his past, went through a lot growing up, got into trouble & did time. I appreciated his honesty and was really happy he opened up to me so fast. He added he turned his life around which was really great. He instantly told me he liked me. I never shared that kind of chemistry with a guy before even my ex who I was with for over 1.5 year. So he asked me out, yada yada. So he picked me up, we went out. We stopped by a park to talk a stroll. He instantly liked me as he tried to grab my hand etc. We out to eat after, and we connected. After, he held my hand and tried to kiss me but I was so shy. We ended going to his place afterwards and made out and it lead to more (sex).  While we were kissing, he told me:I knew if I waited, I would find someone like you, my friends told  me I should go to clubs but I knew if I waited it would happen.  Anyways, we cuddled, watched a movie and shared stories together. I ended up staying at his place late because we talked a lot and hung out. I've dated other guys before and i knew they weren't serious about me because they would immediately send me home right after sex but we cuddled and shared great moments together. Anyways, he dropped me home and kissed me and held my hand not wanting to let me go. Since then, he has called me everyday after work etc, talking to me about his day.The following Friday he wanted to see me so he picked me up. That night, I told him about my past as well and he was really understanding as I was with his past. After that he showed me a piece of paper. I was stunnned to see it as it said he was divorced. He told me he was married a few years ago with his ex and for some reason, it didn't matter to me. I still liked him regardless. Anyways what did bug me was showing me his wedding video and it made me sick to my stomach. He dropped me home afterwards and told me he was upset because it made him think of her. That early morning (5am) he called me saying how the video made him really upset and he thought about doing stupid stuff and that I was the only one who he could call to talk about this with I was talking to him for 30 mins until he said I wanna see you. I said ok, come meet me and he picked me up. Long story short, we went to his house ended up talking a lot and did the deed again. What ruined everything was that his cousins and extended family were over and heard us getting it on and we ended up doing the walk of shame as i left. He was fine with it and mentioned how he wanted to meet my parents and family. He gave me a kiss goodbye and seemed happy until later that day, he called me saying his family had a long talk with him and said he wasn't ready to date and move on from his divorce. He said he agreed but does still like me  a lotand mentioned he wants to get professional help in dealing with his issues. We talked on the phone for 2.5 hours that day and he mentioend how he still wants to talk to me because he never met anyone he could share this as I mentioend to him I have sought professional help myself before and its changed my life. He said he's never met anyone like me he could talk to about his problems so fast. He said he really likes me and wants to keep in touch as he said I am a very nice girl and he's never met anyone like me. I told him, we could be friends but I'm willling to wait for him to get help and maybe in the future, we could be together as now his family doesn't think its right and he thinks he needs to tackle his issues and it wouldn't be right to hide me from his family. I told him I would wait for him even though he thinks it is not right and it makes him feel guilty. He said I could call him anytime if I needed him and I told him the same. Since then, he hasn't called me and its been 3 days since we talked and I actually cried for 2 days thinking about him. I can't stop thinking about him. I never felt like this with any guy I've met and I told him he's special. What should i do? Any suggestions or thoughts to add about my messy situation? Thanks for reading and sorry it was long

[Guest ikweli]

^i was also going to mention that she got played when i read this a couple hrs ago, you can sense it already from the moment she started with him giving his #  to "He added he turned his life around which was really great"




"What should i do?" - just get over him and move on. its blunt/vague but the best advice you have atm.  he doesnt care about you imo.
if he comes back to you hes doing it for the same reason

which reminds me of something interesting but irrelevant that i witnessed today. my fking car broke down so i had to take the bus today and i saw a creeper guy (which was sweating after exercising, his testosterone probably shot up sky high) follow this one girl who wore short skirts inside near the back of the bus and hit on her hard  to the point where it was basically sexual harassment and she was not enjoying it at all. wow, i almost felt like i had to do something

[Guest atomichighfive]

morelovee said: Hey guys I really need some male perspective on my situation. So l met this guy online, he gave me his #, I called him and we instantly hit it off, we talked for over 2 hours the first time. Right off the bat, he told me his past, went through a lot growing up, got into trouble & did time. I appreciated his honesty and was really happy he opened up to me so fast. He added he turned his life around which was really great. He instantly told me he liked me. I never shared that kind of chemistry with a guy before even my ex who I was with for over 1.5 year. So he asked me out, yada yada. So he picked me up, we went out. We stopped by a park to talk a stroll. He instantly liked me as he tried to grab my hand etc. We out to eat after, and we connected. After, he held my hand and tried to kiss me but I was so shy. We ended going to his place afterwards and made out and it lead to more (sex).  While we were kissing, he told me:I knew if I waited, I would find someone like you, my friends told  me I should go to clubs but I knew if I waited it would happen.  Anyways, we cuddled, watched a movie and shared stories together. I ended up staying at his place late because we talked a lot and hung out. I've dated other guys before and i knew they weren't serious about me because they would immediately send me home right after sex but we cuddled and shared great moments together. Anyways, he dropped me home and kissed me and held my hand not wanting to let me go. Since then, he has called me everyday after work etc, talking to me about his day.The following Friday he wanted to see me so he picked me up. That night, I told him about my past as well and he was really understanding as I was with his past. After that he showed me a piece of paper. I was stunnned to see it as it said he was divorced. He told me he was married a few years ago with his ex and for some reason, it didn't matter to me. I still liked him regardless. Anyways what did bug me was showing me his wedding video and it made me sick to my stomach. He dropped me home afterwards and told me he was upset because it made him think of her. That early morning (5am) he called me saying how the video made him really upset and he thought about doing stupid stuff and that I was the only one who he could call to talk about this with I was talking to him for 30 mins until he said I wanna see you. I said ok, come meet me and he picked me up. Long story short, we went to his house ended up talking a lot and did the deed again. What ruined everything was that his cousins and extended family were over and heard us getting it on and we ended up doing the walk of shame as i left. He was fine with it and mentioned how he wanted to meet my parents and family. He gave me a kiss goodbye and seemed happy until later that day, he called me saying his family had a long talk with him and said he wasn't ready to date and move on from his divorce. He said he agreed but does still like me  a lotand mentioned he wants to get professional help in dealing with his issues. We talked on the phone for 2.5 hours that day and he mentioend how he still wants to talk to me because he never met anyone he could share this as I mentioend to him I have sought professional help myself before and its changed my life. He said he's never met anyone like me he could talk to about his problems so fast. He said he really likes me and wants to keep in touch as he said I am a very nice girl and he's never met anyone like me. I told him, we could be friends but I'm willling to wait for him to get help and maybe in the future, we could be together as now his family doesn't think its right and he thinks he needs to tackle his issues and it wouldn't be right to hide me from his family. I told him I would wait for him even though he thinks it is not right and it makes him feel guilty. He said I could call him anytime if I needed him and I told him the same. Since then, he hasn't called me and its been 3 days since we talked and I actually cried for 2 days thinking about him. I can't stop thinking about him. I never felt like this with any guy I've met and I told him he's special. What should i do? Any suggestions or thoughts to add about my messy situation? Thanks for reading and sorry it was long

[jaykidding]

So there was this guy that I thought was pretty cute in my class, and we talked a few times.  We exchanged numbers before school ended but I ended up losing all my contacts.  I found him on fb but is it creepy for me to add him after class is over?  Especially when he didn't even tell me his last name?  I remember it from the first day the teacher did roll call because it sounded like a band I like.  I know I knoowww I'm overthinking this but I can't help myself. =x  I just think it's kind of creepy if I randomly add him AFTER school ended and he never told me his last name....  Would you guys be creeped out if a girl did that?  Or it's really just whatever

[Guest]

jaykidding said: So there was this guy that I thought was pretty cute in my class, and we talked a few times.  We exchanged numbers before school ended but I ended up losing all my contacts.  I found him on fb but is it creepy for me to add him after class is over?  Especially when he didn't even tell me his last name?  I remember it from the first day the teacher did roll call because it sounded like a band I like.  I know I knoowww I'm overthinking this but I can't help myself. =x  I just think it's kind of creepy if I randomly add him AFTER school ended and he never told me his last name....  Would you guys be creeped out if a girl did that?  Or it's really just whatever

[Meezu]

Hey guys,
So, let me just get to it:
I (22 yo) met this guy (24 yo) at a club and I already know that meeting guys at night clubs don't usually amount to much in terms of long term, but this guy seemed different. I told him right away I wasn't interested in a booty call or fling or whatever and he went on and on that he wasn't either, he wants to get to know me. I still wan't sure but he seemed genuine about it, so I gave him my number at the end of the night. We went on a date (Walk in a park), and we hit it off. I was starting to like him and wanted to see where it will go, and he seemed to like me too. After that date, he didn't really text that much but when he did he followed up on activities that I mentioned I was going to do (like how my essay was going for class, etc.). Fast forward a couple days, we ended up making plans to do something  on the weekend after he was done work (second date). Weekend came, and he says that his friend he hasn't seen in a while and is only in town for the weekend, wants to go out that same night (to the same night club I met the guy at) and asked me if I wanted to come. I said no, I didn't want to. Then he said he hasn't seen this friend in a long time and I said O ok (Who am I to tell him what he can and can't do). He didn't text back after that.
To me it seems like he's not interested because he ditched me to go to the club with his friend but I'm wondering if I should let it go since he hasn't seen this friend in a while? I like him but I mean, I don't want to waste my time. 

[Guest]

^ if i was interested in you, i wouldn't act that way. long gaps of no contact is not something that comes easily when someone really likes you.
i've been too enough clubs to last a life time, and they are so pointless. sure u get the fling and the one nighters easily. but its such a waste of time... if he wanted to get to know you, he would talk to u a lot, he'd be curious, he wouldn't  just not text u for a couple days and text u back when its time to go to the club.
why? cuz u cant talk at the club. u get drunk, u grope each other in public. and then u get lucky. he just knew u didnt want to do it the first time around. but once u already know each other, the chances of him getting in ur pants go up a whole lot. 
easiest way to pull this off is to talk to u just a little bit. not get into any long conversations and share about ur lives, but somehow get u back in that club.

[Guest Heart<3]

Hi fellas, I need some advice in regards to a situation with a friend of mine. I don't necessarily agree with what she's doing at the moment and would be thankful if I could get any feedback to help my friend get back to her senses again. 
Ok, the story is my friend was dating this guy for 8 months. She initially didn't want to but after many attempts of him pleading with her to give him a chance, she gave in and decided to date him. During the first couple of months she actually developed feelings for him which eventually led to sleeping with each other, etc. To my friend it was a serious relationship and she wanted him to call it official that they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend, however, to him it was still just 'dating'. This pained my friend, of course.
He was a total richard simmons because he rarely made time for her and his excuse was always being busy with work, when in fact he would drop all that in a heartbeat to be with his friends. He rarely took her out on dates and she was getting frustrated because she was readily there for him when he needed someone to talk to and yet, he still couldn't give her a definite answer about the progress of their relationship. He'd get angry and would always avoid my friend's question whenever she asked him about it and so he had to keep re-assuring her that he liked her. 
So, my first instinct is that he's using her to get some booty, not to be in some serious relationship. I told her this so many times but she still had hope that it would lead into something official. 
Fast forward to the last couple of months and he finally tells her that he no longer has feelings for her to be in a serious relationship. Of course my friend was devastated, because c'mon, it took him 8 months to realise it when she had questioned him about it before? He realises his fault and gives the excuse that he needs a break, he's not ready, if they're meant to be together then they will be, blah, blah, blah. My friend fell into a pool of depression because of this.
So, after two months of not seeing each other, my friend recently told me that he's back into her life and now they're friends....with benefits. This angered me to the core because she still loves him and that's probably the only reason why she agreed to it. He makes her happy and is there for her when she needs him, and as a friend, I'm happy that she's happy, but not when the guy, in my opinion, is a total richard simmons.
She tells me he's different now and can see him being more genuine because he pays more attention to her, taking her out on dates, etc. The thing is, he made it very clear to her that they'll only remain as friends and agreed they wouldn't feel weird just being friends with benefits. When asked again on why they couldn't become official, he still couldn't answer and that's what's bothering my friend. She did feel weird about the whole 'friends with benefits' scenario, but told me they've slept with each other so many times that it's become normal to her and that's just really sad to me. And yes, she still has hope that it will turn into something official. She believes that he does love her but is afraid of commitment.
Sigh, I don't know anymore. What do you guys think? 
That was quite a long read but any feedback/advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[Ninshark]

Heart&lt;3 said:

[Guest Heart<3]

Ninshark said: I think that by making the new relationship FWB, he has protected himself against her feelings. She'll want more and relationship stuff, but he can just use the "we're just FWB" card and he has no obligation.

He's definitely using her.
She's definitely consenting to being used and is in denial.

If she likes it, then you can't really stop her, all you can do is be there for her when she falls hard at the end, even harder than last time, because the 2nd time, not only was the FWB a cure to her depression, it also got her hopes up...So we can predict that it'll end badly, just be there for her when it does.

btw...interesting story- gives me hope..so a girl might start to like a guy she doesn't like at first just because he asks her out...

[Guest EJM]

Heart&lt;3 said: Hi fellas, I need some advice in regards to a situation with a friend of mine. I don't necessarily agree with what she's doing at the moment and would be thankful if I could get any feedback to help my friend get back to her senses again. 
Ok, the story is my friend was dating this guy for 8 months. She initially didn't want to but after many attempts of him pleading with her to give him a chance, she gave in and decided to date him. During the first couple of months she actually developed feelings for him which eventually led to sleeping with each other, etc. To my friend it was a serious relationship and she wanted him to call it official that they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend, however, to him it was still just 'dating'. This pained my friend, of course.
He was a total richard simmons because he rarely made time for her and his excuse was always being busy with work, when in fact he would drop all that in a heartbeat to be with his friends. He rarely took her out on dates and she was getting frustrated because she was readily there for him when he needed someone to talk to and yet, he still couldn't give her a definite answer about the progress of their relationship. He'd get angry and would always avoid my friend's question whenever she asked him about it and so he had to keep re-assuring her that he liked her. 
So, my first instinct is that he's using her to get some booty, not to be in some serious relationship. I told her this so many times but she still had hope that it would lead into something official. 
Fast forward to the last couple of months and he finally tells her that he no longer has feelings for her to be in a serious relationship. Of course my friend was devastated, because c'mon, it took him 8 months to realise it when she had questioned him about it before? He realises his fault and gives the excuse that he needs a break, he's not ready, if they're meant to be together then they will be, blah, blah, blah. My friend fell into a pool of depression because of this.
So, after two months of not seeing each other, my friend recently told me that he's back into her life and now they're friends....with benefits. This angered me to the core because she still loves him and that's probably the only reason why she agreed to it. He makes her happy and is there for her when she needs him, and as a friend, I'm happy that she's happy, but not when the guy, in my opinion, is a total richard simmons.
She tells me he's different now and can see him being more genuine because he pays more attention to her, taking her out on dates, etc. The thing is, he made it very clear to her that they'll only remain as friends and agreed they wouldn't feel weird just being friends with benefits. When asked again on why they couldn't become official, he still couldn't answer and that's what's bothering my friend. She did feel weird about the whole 'friends with benefits' scenario, but told me they've slept with each other so many times that it's become normal to her and that's just really sad to me. And yes, she still has hope that it will turn into something official. She believes that he does love her but is afraid of commitment.
Sigh, I don't know anymore. What do you guys think? 
That was quite a long read but any feedback/advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[raymondc27]

Heart&lt;3 said: Hi fellas, I need some advice in regards to a situation with a friend of mine. I don't necessarily agree with what she's doing at the moment and would be thankful if I could get any feedback to help my friend get back to her senses again. 
Ok, the story is my friend was dating this guy for 8 months. She initially didn't want to but after many attempts of him pleading with her to give him a chance, she gave in and decided to date him. During the first couple of months she actually developed feelings for him which eventually led to sleeping with each other, etc. To my friend it was a serious relationship and she wanted him to call it official that they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend, however, to him it was still just 'dating'. This pained my friend, of course.
He was a total richard simmons because he rarely made time for her and his excuse was always being busy with work, when in fact he would drop all that in a heartbeat to be with his friends. He rarely took her out on dates and she was getting frustrated because she was readily there for him when he needed someone to talk to and yet, he still couldn't give her a definite answer about the progress of their relationship. He'd get angry and would always avoid my friend's question whenever she asked him about it and so he had to keep re-assuring her that he liked her. 
So, my first instinct is that he's using her to get some booty, not to be in some serious relationship. I told her this so many times but she still had hope that it would lead into something official. 
Fast forward to the last couple of months and he finally tells her that he no longer has feelings for her to be in a serious relationship. Of course my friend was devastated, because c'mon, it took him 8 months to realise it when she had questioned him about it before? He realises his fault and gives the excuse that he needs a break, he's not ready, if they're meant to be together then they will be, blah, blah, blah. My friend fell into a pool of depression because of this.
So, after two months of not seeing each other, my friend recently told me that he's back into her life and now they're friends....with benefits. This angered me to the core because she still loves him and that's probably the only reason why she agreed to it. He makes her happy and is there for her when she needs him, and as a friend, I'm happy that she's happy, but not when the guy, in my opinion, is a total richard simmons.
She tells me he's different now and can see him being more genuine because he pays more attention to her, taking her out on dates, etc. The thing is, he made it very clear to her that they'll only remain as friends and agreed they wouldn't feel weird just being friends with benefits. When asked again on why they couldn't become official, he still couldn't answer and that's what's bothering my friend. She did feel weird about the whole 'friends with benefits' scenario, but told me they've slept with each other so many times that it's become normal to her and that's just really sad to me. And yes, she still has hope that it will turn into something official. She believes that he does love her but is afraid of commitment.
Sigh, I don't know anymore. What do you guys think? 
That was quite a long read but any feedback/advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[Guest annarhsaur]

My story is pretty complicated.. but I'll try to be short. But I seriously need advice D: So anything from you guys would be great

I really like this guy that I've known for like.. 8 years. We used to go tutoring together, and got really close but I kept denying that fact that I liked him.. cos I didn't think he was "my type". I never admitted to myself that I liked him, until one of my friends started flirting with him and yeahh.. I some-how got super jealous D: Last year, we were in the same lecture and him and his friends would always sit behind me and my friends and just stare at me :/ 

 

One day, he was curious on asking who I liked - stayed up all night guessing who it was though he never guessed himself? My best friend got involved and started being this "intermediary" thing between us and he even asked her who I liked. She said: "If you wanna find out, why don't you just ask her out?" and he said "I don't like her enough yet".

 

This is where it starts getting compIicated. Since my best friend is acting as this intermediary thing, I found out that he doesn’t want to date me yet cos “since he never got a gf” he wants someone perfect and that I’m just a backup if he can’t find one. She sent me the convo, and it outright said “I’m looking for someone perfect, if I can’t find out then I’ll lower my standards to 90%, If I can’t find one then I might consider her”. Obviously, I felt really cut and hurt D: My studies were going dropping really badly too as a result, I was so pissed off that he thought of me that way even though we’ve known each other for so long.. I just didn’t think he was like that. I was mentally and emotionally very unstable at that point.. when I just thought I couldn’t handle it anymore and I confessed. Why? Because I wanted to cut him off from my life and didn’t want to be a “back up”, and basically for closure and to focus more on my studies cos he was such a massive distraction. BTW! He told me he never liked me and sees me as a “bro”.

 

I don’t regret doing it.. but I couldn’t handle losing him. I spent over 6 months crying and screaming every night cos it hurt so much :S I deleted him off fb, his number, changed classes, deleted his email etcetc just to erase him. What made it worse, is that he still tried to mend our friendship. “Apparently” cos he didn’t want to lose me as a friend, though he told my best friend that.. “If it hurts her too much, then I’m willing to sacrifice our friendship for her to heal overtime”.

 

Eventually after ~7months or so, I felt too guilty and just couldn’t handle losing him anymore and ignore his efforts of trying to mend it up. So then I just let us be friends again, eg talking etcetc.

 

Though ~10months later, I found out my best friend liked him too at the time :/ When I was at her place, I asked if I could read their convos.. and there was a lot of stuff there she didn’t tell me about :S I won’t go in specifics, but just that she made me sound like an obsessive psycho. As a result, I was totally cut. Btw, me and her aren’t friends anymore kind of because of it.

 

FAST FORWARD, me and him still talk :/ He starts all the convos, I just go with the flow. His friends always stare at me and text him when they see him (this he told me), which I found weird and applied before AND after I confessed. Which is weird, cos who cares right? His closest friend told me that his sure that he’ll bend in time.. but I shouldn’t waste my time waiting for a guy L

 

My question is:

I feel like his just talking to me for his ego and just so he doesn’t lose me as a “back up”. Do you guys think this is true? Do guys do that? And what is with his friends staring at me? Its annoying, but I don’t say anything to him :/ What do you think I should do about our friendship, since I’m never going to get over him like this.. but can’t handle losing him?

[Guest ikweli]

^i read that and most of what i had in mind was that after all these times, if i were him i'd be thinking "i wonder whats going on in her head still" you went fishy and suspicious again after that 10 month thing (this kind of fired the continuity of it) and im pretty sure that girl gossiped about you lmao.
he probably talks about you, but he still doesnt want you. the way you act is a little attracting in a curious way because you're being a little mysterious and funny lol
keep it that way if u arent planning anything. its creating a mysterious barrier on yourself and hes eager to find out what it is
imagine he goes on these forums LOL


sorry i kinda laughed at the 6 months of crying thing. the way you worded it

[Guest annarhsaur]

ikweli said: ^i read that and most of what i had in mind was that after all these times, if i were him i'd be thinking "i wonder whats going on in her head still" you went fishy and suspicious again after that 10 month thing (this kind of fired the continuity of it) and im pretty sure that girl gossiped about you lmao.
he probably talks about you, but he still doesnt want you. the way you act is a little attracting in a curious way because you're being a little mysterious and funny lol
keep it that way if u arent planning anything. its creating a mysterious barrier on yourself and hes eager to find out what it is
imagine he goes on these forums LOL


sorry i kinda laughed at the 6 months of crying thing. the way you worded it

[Guest ikweli]

"Hmm.. but he'll only be eager to find out if he cares " - oh he does care lol i just dont think from that context that he wants you or likes you... yet.
"Another point I should add, is that in our convos he always implies that I like him.  For example, if I'm asking whether his going to some party, he'll be like "You want me to come don't you?" or "I know you like me" etc which gets reaallyyy annoying." - yeah he knows but hes still curious to know whats going on in your head like if you keep pictures of him and hang it all over your wall or if you have a doll of him and break the arms or if you spend every night thinking about him or something. right now, you're entertaining to him because you arent admitting anything while he knows that you like him or still think of him.